The Next Day at 7:36 AM
"Misato-san?" Asuka calls sticking her head out of the bathroom door. Misato looks up from the files she's going over at the kitchen table. "Did Shinji-kun ever come back last night?" Misato smiles and takes a sip of her morning beer.
"He did not. He stayed at Re-SHIT!" Misato jumps from the table startling Asuka and knocking over her beer. "I forgot to give him his damn clothes!" Misato scurries into his room and Asuka rolls her eyes. Why does everyone rush to do anything for that idiot? He can take care of himself. Asuka closes the bathroom door and settles into the bath. She tries to close her eyes. Tch, I can't believe all those girls at school talk about Shinji so much. And all the boys talk about Rei like she's hot shit. WHY?! She says almost nothing! What do they see in them? Asuka tucks her knees to her chest. And takes a deep breath in then out. Why should it even bother me? Who cares about them, I'm ME. Her lips turns up on one side but it quickly turns into a frown. Liar.
"Asuka-san! I'm leaving now! Don't be late to school!" Misato yells out. Swooosh Dtt. Asuka growls.
"Shut up," she says to no one, "Why even go to school? I can't even read the fuckin' KANJI!" Asuka gets up with a start and stomps over to her clothes leaving puddles in her wake. She whips her clothes on and starts to blow dry her hair. She stands in front of the mirror and looks at herself while doing so. She looks deep into her eyes. Who even is that? I don't think anyone knows anymore. Nothing's even looking back at me. Asuka bites her lip before it trembles. She fixes her collar and walks out of the house.
8:00 AM
Shinji woke up in Rei's bed cold and alone. He heard the shower hissing. He rubbed at his eyes and pulled back the covers. At least I got my underwear back on. He got up and started to put his pants on while his thoughts wandered to last night. A shy smile lit up his face. Knock Knock. Shinji froze and the shower immediately shut off. Who is that? What if Dad's come to get us? Shinji tiptoes over to the bathroom just as Rei steps out in her clothes that are now damp. They look at each other then to the door.
"Come onnnn already!" Misato's voice says, both Rei and Shinji breathe again. Shinji opens the door and Rei gets their lunches ready. Misato was just about to speak until she looks at Shinji. She takes his chin in her hand and turns it.
"H-hey!"
"Shinji you have a hickey on your neck. How the hell are you going to hide that?" Shinji reflexively slaps his hand against his neck and checks the mirror. Crap. Rei continues to get their food ready without saying a word. Misato throws a bag of clothes at him. "School starts in twenty minutes I'm gonna have to drive you." Shinji nods. "So be quick!"
12:03 AM
Shinji and Rei, thanks to Misato's wild driving, made it to school with five minutes to spare. Misato gave them a long lecture about safe sex along the way, to Shinji's dismay. Rei acted as nonchalant as expected. It was now lunch time, and Shinji was on edge as no one had yet noticed the mark on his neck. It's only a matter of time before Touji or Asuka-kun yell about it. He continuously tried to pop his collar up but it kept flimsily falling back into place. Rei asked him earlier to come sit with her for lunch on the rooftop. Most kids were doing that since the teachers finally allowed it. The teachers realized life was short, but it was also getting scarier and uglier by the day with how many Angel attacks constantly hit. When Rei and Shinji got to the roof, only about four other kids were up there. Shinji led Rei to the quietest and most secluded spot. There were no benches, just a grey checked tile and a chain-link fence. Shinji sat down with legs crossed, as did Rei, and they shared the small amount of lunch Rei had time to make. It was a comfortable silence they shared. They both took time to look at all of the water and forests that were spread out before them. I almost never notice how great Tokyo-3 can look. I feel like all I ever think about is how awful this place makes me feel. He looks over at Rei as she stares out. I'm not sure if that's so true anymore.
"I wish this fence was not here."
"Why?"
"It feels like I am stuck here because of it. I wish that if I wanted to, I could jump."
"Why would you say that?" Shinji asks concerned. Rei closes up their bento box and stands up. He looks up at her confused. Fttt. Rei slides one foot back and then whips the bento box over the fence. "What are you doing?!"
"I wanted it to be free," she replies simply. She sits back down closes to Shinji with her legs tucked under her. "I got to do that out of choice and it feels… amazing." Shinji frowns slightly.
"Are you happy?" he asks.
….
"I am. But I am not entirely as of yet." Shinji looks away and scratches his head. I guess I should have expected as much. "Last night," she starts, "I was the happiest I could ever imagine being." Shinji looks back to see her smiling at him. The way she's smiling… her eyes really show it… I think this is the first time she's done that. Shinji lets out a laugh of authentic delight and relief. He tugs at his chest through his shirt and closes his eyes.
"I love you so much Rei," Shinji laughs and those laughs suddenly turn into soft cries. He quickly covers up his eyes with one hand. "S-sorry, sniff, I dunno why I-"
"-SHINJI-KUN?!"
Shinji and Rei both jump. Shinji tries rubbing his face harder leaving red marks all over his face.
"Heeeey! Shinji! Where you at?" he hears Touji yell.
"C-crap, sniff, I don't want them to see me like this" he whispers. Rei kisses him on the lips and stands him up.
"Go. I will distract them."
"T-thank you Rei." She nods and walks toward the crowd of three. She turns the corner and nearly bumps into Asuka.
"SHIN-oh," Asuka stares her up and down with her nose tilted upward. Touji and kensuke meet up with them at the same time. Kensuke whispers a hey Rei with a slight wave. Touji looks at him and shakes his head.
"Where's Shin-man?" Touji asks.
"I am not sure, he has not come up here yet."
"Lame," Touji shrugs, "Let's go Kensuke, I have some cool 'mags' to show you." Touji starts to pull him along.
"H-Hang on! Rei-chan is-"
"-Nah," Touji retorts and drags him anyway. All that's left is an intimidating Asuka and a straight-faced Rei.
….
"So…" Asuka mumbles, "Is he a better boyfriend than he is a pilot?"
"I suppose it depends on if you think he is not a strong pilot."
"I didn't say 'strong' I said GOOD," Asuka rolls her eyes and takes a step back, "Anyway, I think we should try to be friends. How about it?" Asuka smiles wide.
"Only if I am ordered to do so," Rei answers. Asuka's face drops.
"You kidding?"
"I am not." Asuka scoffs. Rei begins to walk past her to the door downstairs but Asuka quickly grabs her arm.
"Who the hell are you to-"
"-Who are you to touch me?" Rei retorts. Asuka lets go and Rei walks out. Asuka stands there fuming. WHAT IS WITH THESE PEOPLE? IS SHE SERIOUS?! HOW DENSE CAN YOU BE? Asuka punches the wooden wall. BAM. Everyone on the rooftop looks at her.
"WHAT?!" she yells. Everyone swings their eyes in other directions. Asuka sprints off the rooftop and into the nearest bathroom stall holding her bloody fist.
3:21 PM
DING DING DING.
"Class dismissed," says Hikari, the class representative. The class stands up and bows, thanking the teacher. Shinji walks to Rei's desk and helps put her stuff into her bag.
"Thanks again for earlier," Rei nods, "Everything ok?" Rei looks over his shoulder to Asuka who's glaring at her from her seat in the front before stomping out of the room.
"Pilot 02 tried to befriend me." Rei started to walk to the lockers. Shinji raised a brow and followed as she went.
"And… how'd that go?"
"I said only if I was ordered to do so." Shinji laughed and covered his mouth. "I do not understand why that would be funny."
"Well, Rei…" Shinji held Rei's hand to stop her and pulled her into a secluded hallway while all the other school kids ran to the exit. "Remember what you were saying about doing what you want?" Rei noded. "Well maybe you'd want to make more friends now?"
"Why? I have you." Shinji smiled, flattered.
"That's nice Rei, but there are other people too. Maybe you can make her less… um…"
"Rude. Vulgar. Aggressive-"
"-Yep! Heh," Shinji nervously shrugged. "I can't say I like her much either, but maybe?"
"Maybe," she answered.
"Great! Then come home with me tonight, we can both try talking with her."
"She lives with you now?" Rei asks as they start walking again.
"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you yesterday. But uh, yeah, she does." She gets to live with him? Rei felt a twinge in her chest. I wish I had such a chance. While they walked, Shinji called Misato to ask if they needed groceries. Of course we need them. No one in the place can even TRY to freakin' cook. They made a quick stop and Rei wandered off within the store. Shinji lugged around a large hand basket looking for her. The store was two floors so he was getting slightly worried the longer he looked. The only spot he hadn't checked was the medicine isles. Why would she be there? He checked one by one, and at the very last aisle, he spotted the blue hair.
"Rei!" he called. Shinji walked toward her hitting his leg against the basket for the fiftieth time. "What're yo-OH!" Shinji nearly dropped the basket. Rei had been looking at the large section of contraceptives and "toys". Shinji frantically started looking around them to see if anyone saw them. "R-Rei m-maybe we should go now right?" Rei reached out to three items; ribbed condoms, a small pink vibrator, and a blue bottle of "jelly". Shinji gagged and coughed looking anywhere but at her. "W-we -u-um, d-do-n't-"
"-I believe they will be useful later," she casually voices, throwing the three items on top of the groceries. Shinji squeaks and hides them under all the vegetables. When they get to the counter Shinji blushes uncontrollably and hands Rei his money before leaping out of sight.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. The clerk takes a look at Rei and then back down to the products shaking her head in disapproval. Beep. Beep. Beep. Rei checks out and bows her head grabbing the bags and walking comfortably out of the store.
"D-did she say anything?!" Shinji questions while nervously bouncing on one foot.
"She did not." Shinji takes a bag and exhales.
4:07 PM
Shwoop.
"We're here!" Shinji hollars. Rei and him kick their shoes off and tumble into the kitchen. "You guys home?" Shinji listens for a minute and hears no reply. He looks at Rei and they shrug. They drop the groceries on the counter and Rei starts cooking the vegetarian dish for herself while Shinji cuts up the meats. They work around each other peacefully with few words being said. Rei finishes early and rests her hip against the counter with her hands folded out in front. She watches as he cooks and tries to collect as much of it to memory as possible. Shinji doesn't mind, he starts to narrate each thing he does. They finish cooking within twenty minutes.
"Seriously where are they? Misato said they were here when I called." Shinji huffs worriedly. He reaches to his back pocket for his phone. That's weird. I had it right there. He pats his other pockets to find nothing. "Argh… Misato's gonna kill me."
"I will look around." Shinji nods and checks around the kitchen. Rei walks to the doorway and checks near his shoes. Ah, there it is. She bends down to grab it and the door slides open quickly behind her. She hears a stomp of a foot and turns around.
"Hi Rei!" Misato greets, "Sorry we were late, Asuka-chan needed to get pa-"
"-DON'T TELL HER THAT!" Asuka shoves herself through the door and marches o the kitchen. Misato shrugs and Rei blinks, unfazed. "Shinji-kun! Where's my dinner?!" Asuka begins to rummage through the bags before Shinji even has a chance to speak.
"AAAAAAAAGHHHH!" Misato sprints into the room and catches a flying box of condoms.
"Oh my," she says with a laugh. Misato turns to Rei and hands her the box, "Nice pick." Rei nods her head. Shinji has just about fallen onto the floor.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN 'NICE PICK'?! IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY?!" Misato and Rei pick up the other belongings and put them back into the plastic bag that lays haphazardly on the floor.
"At least they're being safe right?"
"WHA- WHAT KINDA GUARDIAN ARE YOU?!" Asuka nearly faints as she's so disgusted she has to brace herself on the chair. Shinji stands in the furthest corner of the room covering his ears and closing his eyes. Not happening Not happening Not happening. Rei walks to the stove and reaches up to get plates out. Asuka stares at her wide-eyed as she scoops food onto each plate. Misato opens the fridge and grabs a cold beer before slouching down in her seat. Rei sets each plate down with a set of chopsticks on the side. Asuka and Shinji still stand in the same spot. Rei finally sits down gracefully and begins to eat. Misato opens her food-full mouth.
"You guys just gonna watch us eat?" TCH Asuka hisses out and grabs her sticks and plate and bolts to her room nearly knocking Shinji over. Rei looks in the direction Asuka went then back to her plate. Shinji slowly takes a seat next to Rei and starts eating without muttering a word. The whole time they ate, no one spoke a word in the house. When Shinji was done, he took their plates and set them in the sink. He turned around to find Misato and Rei staring directly at each other. He looked back and forth at them getting more and more concerned as time passed. He stuck a hand in his pocket.
"So…" he interjects.
"You've really changed Rei."
….
"Yes." Rei answers. Misato and Rei continue to stare. This is so uncomfortable. Should I leave? Shinji scratches his neck and turns back to the sink to start brushing them down.
"For Shinji?" Misato asks seriously. Shinji pauses.
"No. For myself. But, he has helped." Shinji smiles to himself and continues.
"I'm so glad," Misato whispers, "I'm sorry… that I've never tried with you before." Misato leans forward and puts her right hand on her left shoulder as if to block herself off.
"There was no reason to," Rei says, "I was never your responsibility."
"That's bullshit!" Misato yells startling Shinji and a pouting Asuka who's listening in with one ear against her door. Shinji turns around to look at Misato. Wow she looks kind of scary again. "I knew Shinji for one day and I offered to keep him here. And Asuka-kun only knew me for a short time as well. I've been working with Nerv far too long, and I've known you for far too long. It's no excuse. I should have tried. I could have helped yo-"
"No one can," Rei lets out weakly. Misato opens her mouth then closes it. Shinji shuts the water off and watches Rei. Even Asuka begrudgingly feels a sting in her chest. Rei focuses on a door far down the hall to keep tears back. She absently scratches at her plate with the chopsticks in her hand. Misato looks at Shinji. I don't know what to say, he mouths. Misato nuges her head violently in the direction of Rei and mouths FUCKING DO SOMETHING. Shinji takes the advice and pulls into the chair next to her. From her room, Asuka frowns wishing she had some sort of x-ray vision to see what was happening.
"R-Rei," Shinji weakly utters.
….
Scr. Scrrr. Scrrrrr. Rei repeatedly scrapes the chopsticks against the plate. Shinji softly reaches for her wrist and takes the sticks out placing them on the table. He laces her fingers with his. Misato places her hand on top of theirs. Rei looks back at her to see a soft smile. She looks at Shinji. He looks so worried. Over me. Rei's eyes water up more.
"Hey, it's gonna be ok. Remember what we talked about last night?" Rei nods. "Well, we… sort of have a plan right? We're gonna be together no matter what." You have no idea how accurate that is Shinji. I… I feel guilt. So much guilt. It feels like I am making the biggest mistake, while also feeling like it is the right choice. I was born to carry out what Commander Ikari wants. I am obligated to do so. I have to. I can't tell anyone. No one would understand. I can't put the burden on anyone else. But If I choose to share myself with Shinji… am I hurting him more by NOT telling him? Rei puts her hand to her forehead and leans her elbow on the table. I can't leave him. I need him. I want him. I love him. A tear finally drops from Rei's eyes before multiple start falling. Misato's face wrinkles into pain as she pulls her hand back.
"S-Shinji, sniff, I do not think-sniff, we can do this anymore." Shinji's eyes close and he holds her hand tighter. "There is too much-sniff-I can't tell you. It's for the better." Shinji covers his face with a hand and breathes heavily. Misato sits silently. "I can not… I can not… I can not-"
SHWOOP. Stomp.
"Hey!" Asuka yells causing everyone to look up. "Stop it!" Asuka yells directly at Rei. Asuka marches toward Rei and picks her up by the arm. Misato and Shinji jump up.
"Asuka-chan. Let. Go." Misato commands. Asuka ignores her completely and continues her assault.
"You act like a God damn doll. Who are you? WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?" Shinji starts to raise his voice but Asuka talks louder. "IF YOU KEEP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF YOU'LL BE JUST LIKE ME!" Everyone stops. Rei finally looks at Asuka within the four inches apart their faces are. "I know what everyone says about me. I know everyone hates me. I know all of you hate me," Asuka mumbles, "But none of that means a damn thing. BECAUSE I HATE MYSELF THE MOST!" Asuka makes direct eye contact with Rei. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself. DO. SOMETHING. BE. SOMEONE. Stop saying you can't and start saying you CAN!" Asuka releases Rei suddenly and Shinji catches her before she hits the floor. Misato nearly lunges at Asuka before-
"Misato-san! I needed to hear it," Rei coughs. Misato shakes her fist at Asuka and sits back down. Asuka rolls her eyes and leans against the wall pretending not to care. "You are right, Asuka-san." Asuka looks up with an eyebrow quirked. That's the first time she's said her name, Shinji thinks. "I want to start being myself. And… I need to tell you all something." She looks around the room and bows her head. "It is going to take a long time."