Chapter 23: Are You Real?

Liv's heart was pounding hard in her chest as she saw the man who was being walked out of the building between two of the One-Niners. His hair was longer, he had facial hair and he was slightly slimmer but she would have recognized him anywhere.

"Juice," She said in barely a whisper, she couldn't make herself say it any louder or will her aching body to move towards him. He stopped walking and stood next to the fence that surrounded the warehouse parking lot. He scanned the group of people, many of them he had known as his brother but to them he was nothing, he was a coward and a rat. Liv willed him to look her way as she stared at him in utter disbelief at his presence. Finally his dark brown eyes crossed over her, she watched his posture change as he realized who he was looking at. "Juice!" Liv was finally able to exclaim as she ran to him the pain the coursed through her body didn't matter because he was ALIVE! Liv launched herself into him and wrapped her arms around his body. He was real, he was flesh and blood and he was holding her in his arms.

"Please tell me this isn't a dream." Juice's voice was hoarse as he held Liv tightly against his body. He had dreamed about that moment for months as he prayed she was safe and alive. He never thought that Marks and Cartwright would have kept their word and kept her alive. Juice asked them for proof and they brought him any other than the first few weeks he had pictures and Liv's bloodied shirt. At that point he was fearing the worse but hoping for the best.

Liv looked up at him through her tears. She touched the side of his face and he leaned into her touch, "It isn't a dream." She grinned with tears still streaming down her face. "You're alive and in one piece." This was a moment Liv never thought she would be able to have with Juice. All of the guilt and pain she had been through over her time in Charming was washed away as Liv started to cry harder. Juice hugged her to him again, his heart beat hard against his chest; she never thought she would be so absolutely ecstatic to hear someone else's heartbeat.

Happy's blood was boiling. It was hard enough for him to fight against Juice's ghost and Liv's guilt but now he had to deal with the rat in the flesh. He didn't know if he could compete. Happy watched as Liv embraced Juice, it was a reunion of lost lovers but she was his now not Juice's. He should have stayed dead. He clenched his teeth and glared as he saw Juice move loose hairs from Liv's face. Happy couldn't stand how intimate the moment seemed. Juice leaned forward and kiss her, it wasn't a quick friendly peck either; it was fervent and needy. And Liv let it happen, she allowed Juice to kiss her and she kissed him back. Happy was furious and hurt; he was about to break up the intimate reunion when Quinn stopped him. He could see Happy had nothing good on his mind and his actions would only make matters worse.

"Do you want her to hate you? Do you think she would forgive you for beating him up?" Quinn asked. "Just let it be brother. If you need to go, I'll bring her home for you." Quinn knew Happy was going to struggle with the fact that Juice was still alive, that is why he did him the courtesy of telling him before he walked out of the building.

"Nah, I'll wait." He had promised Liv he wouldn't run anymore. So Happy turned his back to the scene that was unfolding in front of him; he couldn't handle seeing the woman he loved in the arms of another man especially one he knew she still loved. Happy walked over towards Tig, who was shaking his head at the whole situation. They both knew once Jax found out Juice was alive and within his reach he would pay and Happy couldn't wait, he would take pleasure in watching.

A breathless Liv pulled back from Juice, she had forgotten how good his lips had felt against hers. "They told me they killed you." She was still trying to take in what was happening. She had been struggling with Juice's death for months and now he was standing front of her, holding her close. Her body sang for him.

He shook his head, "They kept me around. They used you against me as a bargaining chip." He gently touched the side of Liv's face that had taken the brunt of Cartwright's beating. "What did they do to you?"

"Let's not talk about that now. I am just so relieved to see you." She glanced down at the ground.

Liv looked up just in time to see a very angry looking Jax stalking towards them. She couldn't remember a time he had ever looked so mad. Liv placed herself between Jax and Juice. "Step aside Olivia." He demanded of Liv. Jax's nostrils flared, his jaw was clenched tightly and his deadly glare was set on Juice.

"No." Liv stood her ground she had enough of this shit. She was done. She paid enough for this fucking club and she wasn't going to allow someone she cared about to pay too.

"Step aside NOW!" Jax yelled fury oozed off of him.

Liv flinched slightly at his aggression. "NO!" She said forcefully, staring him down. Her bravery wavered slightly but she remembered what she had just been through and held her ground, she could do this.

"It's okay Liv." Juice said stepping to the side of her and pushing her behind him, "I have a debt to pay." He knew Jax's rage and he wouldn't allow Liv to get hurt by it. He would protect her with his life.

"I've paid his fucking debt, whatever it is, Jackson!" Liv's irritation level was starting to rise as she yelled at him from behind Juice. Did Jax forget that she was never supposed to be a part of their lives? She had heard enough to know that his irrational decisions were what caused her to be taken from her quiet, happy home, to be beat, tortured and raped. She never held it against him or asked him for anything until that point and what she asked him for was something so simple and easy to give.

Jackson ran his hands through his thick blonde hair and turned his back on them as if he was going to walk way but instead he turned back around he charged at Juice. Juice's body collided with Liv's as a result of Jax's attack. Liv fell backwards, her head collided hard with the ground and the impact of the fall knocked the wind out of her. She laid there for a moment trying to catch her breath and bearings. Liv leaned up on her elbows and saw Jax and Juice throwing punches at each other. "Stop. Please." She barely got out as the world started spinning around her. She closed her eyes hoping it would stop her world from spiraling out of control.

"Liv?" Happy's quiet voice was suddenly next to her, she hadn't heard him walk over to her. Olivia tried to open her eyes but one of them was swollen shut and she was no longer on the hard pavement of the parking lot but in a bed. She looked around the room and realized that she was at home with Happy. Was it just a dream? Was Juice just a dream? Tears fell from her eyes. "Shh, you're safe."

Liv tried not to think about Juice as she strained to sit up against her pillows. Happy held Liv close and helped her by propping her pillows up behind her. "What?" Liv started but the pain the coursed through her body stopped her.

"We had a doc take a look at you. He said you have a concussion and a few broken ribs but you got away lucky, no permanent physical damage. Here take these." Happy handed Liv two oval white pills and a glass of water.

She took the pills and drank the water, it even hurt to swallow. "Thank you." She sighed.

Happy sat on the edge of the bed next to Liv. He wasn't going to bring up Juice to her. He knew she would ask about him when she was feeling better. He hated the fact that she was in this place because of Juice. He thought back to the fight to the day Juice literally walked back into their lives.

Happy stood facing away from Liv and Juice. He knew if he continued watching he would put a bullet in the coward rat's head and Liv would never forgive him.

"Here we go." Tig said with a bit of amusement in his voice. Happy turned just in time to see Liv put herself between Jax and Juice. What the hell was she thinking? Happy was impressed to see Juice act like a man and put Liv's safety first. Liv was still full of fury from what Happy could see then he heard her lovely voice so full of anger,

"I've paid his fucking debt, whatever it is, Jackson." Happy knew she was talking about everything she went through because of the club. He didn't blame her being angry about what happened to her but she didn't pay Juice's debt, his was one he needed to pay himself.

Everything that happened next was so quick, Jax acted like he was going to walk away, Happy knew better. He knew the rage that burned inside of him, Juice knew what happened to Tara and he took that with him when he left, he could have prevented everything after that from happening. Jax turned quickly and threw a punch at Juice which sent him back into Liv. Happy watched as an already broken Liv fell forcefully to the ground. She tried to sit up and looked like she muttered something collapsed back on pavement. Tig and Happy both ran over to get her out of the way of Jax who was eliciting his beating on Juice. Happy picked Liv up off the ground, she was limp against his body, her head lulled back and her arms were flaccid. If he wasn't able to see her chest rise and fall, Happy would have thought Liv was dead.

Happy placed Liv on the ground in a shaded portion of the parking lot and he and Tig knelt next to her. "Liv?" He said quietly. Liv didn't respond, she must have hit her head harder than it looked. Or the toll her body took in from the beating that she received was finally catching up to her. Either way she was not responding and he couldn't help but feel a sense of urgency about it.

"Come on, baby girl." Tig brushed Liv's hair off of her bruised and bloody face. Happy sensed someone next to him while he continued to try to get Liv to come around. "Fuck Liv!" It was Juice, he started to kneel down next to Liv; his face was bloodied from Jax's onslaught but he didn't seem to care about it as he tried to touch Liv.

Happy's rage boiled to the surface as he finally came face to face with Juice. "Get the fuck away from her." Happy shoved him hard. He fell on his ass next to them.

"What the hell, Happy?" Juice shot back with a confused look on his face.

"This happened because of you. Because you didn't make sure she was a safe." Happy stood up and stalked towards Juice who had just pulled himself up from the ground. "Get the out of my sight before I kill you." Happy threatened.

"How is any of this my fault?" Juice asked keeping his eyes on Happy. "I didn't put her in this situation, it was the club!"

Happy let out a snarled laugh, how could Juice blame the club for anything that had, happened? He charged towards Juice knocking him to the ground and allowing his fists to do his talking for him. Two sets of arms pulled Happy off of Juice who scrambled to his feet and wiped the blood off of his face and onto the back of his arm. Chibs had pulled Juice aside while Quinn and Tig held back an extremely volatile Happy.

"Hap, we need to get Liv to a doctor." Tig tried to reign him in and get him to focus on something other than killing Juice. It wasn't working, he still fought against Tig and Quinn's tight grips.

"Happy." Liv's small weak voice called from behind them. He shrugged of Tig and Quinn and turned his back to Juice and went to Liv's side. She wasn't coherent and was just mumbling things that didn't make sense to him.

It was three more days before Liv was actually able to stay awake for more than just a few minutes at a time. When she woke the sun was shining brightly into the bedroom. She sat up with some effort and looked around, she wasn't in Happy's room but in the spare room of his house. She slowly climbed out of bed testing her limbs one by one, praying they would carry her to the bathroom. As she neared the bathroom she heard Happy talking to someone at first she thought he was on the phone but then she heard her dad's voice.

"Have you told her yet?" Tig's voice questioned Happy.

"No. She is barely able to stay conscious for more than a few minutes. Enough to get some food or medications into her and get to the bathroom; that is about the extent of it." Happy's voice sounded tired and defeated.

Liv entered the bathroom and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked horrible, she had dark bruises extending from her hair line down to her shoulder mainly on the left side of her face. She lifted up the hem of her shirt and saw that her body also bared dark bruising. No wonder she felt the way she did. She vaguely remembered one of her eyes being swollen shut, she was grateful that she had slept through that. She quickly finished up in the bathroom and wandered out the kitchen where Happy, Tig and Quinn were sitting at the table smoking cigarettes.

"Hey, pipsqueak." Quinn said as the other two men looked at her.

Her eyes met Happy's but he quickly focused back on whatever he was saying to Quinn before she came out of the bedroom.

"Hey baby girl, how you feeling?" Tig got up from where he was seated and took gently guided her towards the table and sat her in the chair next to where he was sitting.

Liv let out a snort. "I feel like I just got the shit beat out of me." Liv replied with no humor in her voice. "What haven't you told me?" Liv asked looking directly at Happy. His face said everything Liv wanted to know. "He's still alive, isn't he? It wasn't a dream." She had hope in her voice.

Tig's hand moved to the back of Liv's head and smoothed down her hair. "Yeah, he is." She reluctantly took her eyes from Happy's and looked at Tig as the events of the day came crashing back to her. She touched her lips as she remembered the kiss she had shared with Juice. The kiss that Happy had seen, Liv's face flushed with shame, how could she had not have thought of the man who was sitting in front of her, the man who was caring for her and had risked his life to save her for a second time. The man that she loved.

"Is he okay?" Liv questioned Tig quietly.

Tig nodded. "When you're feeling up to it, I'll bring you over there." An indignant noise came from Happy. The club all knew how Happy felt about Juice even being allowed to stay in Charming. However Jax made the call that he needed to be close until they found out what he told Marks. So Juice was staying at his old house with a constant watch in case he decided to run before they were done with him.

"I'd like that daddy." Liv smiled softly. She was surprisingly fatigued from the small amount of activity she done.

"You should go back to bed and rest." Happy suggested, his suggestion sounded more like a demand to Liv and she didn't have it in her to argue with Happy about what she needed to do. He stood up and walked into the kitchen and grabbed a few pills vials from the counter. Liv stood up and started walking towards the bedroom she woke up in, it was obvious to her that Happy didn't want her in his bed anymore. "Liv?" His voice had less edge to it as she turned to face him. He brushed a stray hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear, then he handed her the same two little oval pills she had before and a glass of water.

"Thanks for taking care of me, Happy." She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.

Happy just nodded as he walked back out to his guest. As Liv laid in bed she thought about the distance she felt between her and Happy already. She needed to talk to him about her reunion with Juice and how she wasn't thinking clearly. She never meant to hurt him and never meant to betray him. Liv thought about getting out of bed and doing it right then but her medications took hold and pulled her into another dreamless sleep.

The water ran over Liv's body, it was her first shower in over a week. So much had happened in that time it was hard for her to comprehend. As she turned off the water, Liv couldn't help but appreciate feeling clean. Her body ached less and her cuts and bruises were healing nicely. However she still avoided looking at herself in the mirror unless she needed to do her hair. She wrapped a towel around herself, it was barely long enough to cover her assets. Obviously laundry hadn't been done for a while. Liv walked out of the bathroom and straight into Happy. It was the closest they had been in days. She looked up at him as she tried to hold her towel to her.

"I'm sorry." She said quietly. She still hadn't talked to Happy about things. It never seemed like a good time and now she was in a tiny towel it seemed like even worse time to talk about how she was feeling the distance between them. Especially when all she wanted to do is drop the towel and tell him to make love to her. She yearned for that closeness with him.

Happy looked down Liv, her body was still badly bruised and it made him cringe inside. He had been keeping his distance, the reunion between her and Juice fester inside of him and it made him angry. But being this close to Liv, smelling her and feeling her warm wet damp skin on his own made him yearn for her. "It's fine." Liv paused like she was going to say something but she refrained and walked to her room. Happy turned and watched her go, did she ever really love him or was he just her replacement for Juice?

Tig wrapped lightly on the door before walked into Happy's place. Liv wasn't used to being alone in the house, it was strange. Happy had left after their encounter in the hallway without even saying a word. She had worked up the courage to bring up how she felt about him and how she felt about Juice but when she got out of her room, Happy was gone. "Olivia?" Tig called from the front door.

"I'm in here." Liv called from the kitchen where she had just finished her coffee.

Tig's face appeared around the corner, "You ready to go kid?"

Liv straightened up. "Yeah." Tig was going to bring her to see Juice. I would be the first time she had seen him since they were both liberated from Marks. She needed to be straight forward with Juice and tell him everything; tell him that she fell in love while he was 'dead'. As much as she loved Juice she wasn't the same girl he fell in love with and she very much in love with the man who saved her life twice. Happy. Her heart felt heavy as she thought about him. She would talk with him later that day, even if she had to do it in front of all the members of SAMCRO.

"Alright, let's go, Daddy's got to relieve Rat of his baby sitting duty." Tig lead the way out of the house.

Juice's house wasn't much more than his house in Charlotteville. It was completely simple on the outside and Liv was quite sure she knew what she would find inside. Warm colors but simplicity. Tig knocked on the door and Liv nervously bounced on the balls of her feet.

Rat opened the door. "It's about time you got here." He glanced over at Olivia. "Jax know you brought her over here?"

"Why would it matter if Jax knew if I was here or not?" Liv pushed past Rat and walked into Juice's house. It was the first time she had seen him since he was supposed to be watching her at Red Woody.

"Jax said…" Rat started.

Liv let out a resentful laugh, "Since when do you do what you're told?" She turned and glared at him, he didn't seem to know what she was talking about. "I mean sure you are told to stick around the club house and do one minor thing, watch me. Where were you Rat? You know you could have stopped this from happening." Liv pointed at her face.

"I know that voice." Juice's voice came from another part of the house.

"Come on baby girl, you didn't come here to start fights with Rat, you came here to see Juice." Tig pushed Liv towards the area she heard Juice's voice come from. He turned back to and pushed him in the chest, "You have two hours then your ass better be back here. Get it?" Rat nodded and left the house. Watching Juice was his punishment for thinking pussy was more important that his duties for SAMCRO.

Liv walked into the kitchen where Juice as at the stove cooking pancakes. The smell hit Liv's stomach hard and she realized how hungry she was. "Hi." She smiled as he turned to face her, she looked down and her hands that were twisted in front of her. He had shaved and cut his hair shorter since the last times he had seen him. He looked very much like the Juice she knew and loved other than some remnants of bruises on his face. His brown eyes glinted with happiness at the sight of her.

Juice stared at Olivia, she was just a beautiful as she was when she left his house the night they were both taken by Marks and Cartwright. He saw past all of her bruises and cuts, that was his Liv. She seemed nervous and there was something different about her demeanor. He didn't care, she was the reason he never gave up; she was his reason to live while he was being tortured by Cartwright and his men. He could have stared at her for hours.

"Um, Juice." Liv smirked as she pointed to the stove.

"Oh shit." He had his pancakes burn and he looked at Liv. He quickly dumped them into the sink and as he was about to pour more batter onto the pan, Liv walked over and took the scoop from him.

"Here let me, go sit down." She took over but Juice didn't move. His close proximity to her made her heart beat in overdrive. She was losing her nerve to tell him about Happy. "Do you have coffee made?" Olivia asked, trying to find a job for Juice to do while she finished making the pancakes.

"No, I'll do that right now." He turned and grabbed the stuff to make the coffee. Soon he had the coffee brewing and Liv was finishing up on the last batch of pancakes. The house smelt like coffee and pancakes it was heavenly to Liv who hadn't eaten anything other than oatmeal and soup for days.

Liv turned quickly after she finished plating the pancakes for the table and Juice was right behind her. He engulfed her in his arms, a place where she had always felt so warm and safe. She wrapped her arms around him, it felt right to have him hold her. "I've missed you." Juice's face was buried in Liv's hair when he inhaled deeply.
Liv looked up at him. His eyes were full of happiness and love. Juice started to lean down to kiss her when Tig's voice filled the room. "Hope you made enough food for me too baby girl."

Juice released Liv from his embrace and wondered why Tig called her baby girl. "Of course, daddy." Liv smiled as she grabbed the pancakes off the counter and brought them to the table. Juice had already set everything else up. Liv turned to see Juice standing there with a confused look on his face. "Are you coming?"

He tilted his head and then walked towards the table, "You're Liv's old man?" Juice asked Tig. It would explain why Liv's eyes had always reminded him so much of Tig's.

"Yeah. Keep that in mind." Tig threatened.

"Oh my god, dad!" Liv blushed realizing that he was pulling a dad card. "I think I can take care of myself." She turned back to Juice as she sat down at the table and plated some food for herself. "It was a huge surprise to me too. I mean since I thought all my family was dead. Now I have this one." Liv nodded her head towards Tig.

"Is that why they took you too?" Juice asked looking distant and lost.

Why did he have to bring them up? "Partially, August said he could kill two birds with one stone." She was brought back to the day when she woke up in the room with Marks' man cutting her. She frowned as she looked over at Juice who was now picking at his food. "Juice we don't need to talk about this. I am just happy to know you are alive and safe and in front of me." Liv smiled at him.

"You got me through it." Liv didn't know what he was talking about. She stared at him and didn't turn and look as she heard Tig get up from the table and leave the room, knowing they needed time alone. "Knowing I was keeping you safe."

"Juice, I wasn't found the day you were found." She gave him a sad look. "Well not the first time."

He nodded his head, "I figured that when you stood up to Jax and Happy wouldn't let me within 100 feet of you. What did you mean you paid for my debt?" Juice asked.

Liv bit her lip, she didn't know if she was ready to tell him everything that happened. She shook her head. "Everything I went through for the club should have paid that debt…whatever it was. I should have never been here and Jax's decisions put us both on Marks' radar."

"What happened to you Liv?" Juice knew her well enough to know she was covering something up. He could read her like a book when they were together, this girl that sat in front of him was good at put up a wall but he could still see through it.

Liv took a deep breath, "I was tortured and raped." She spit it out quickly. "I watched Bobby get murdered. I was only in August's grasp for about a week or two, I lost track of time. SAMCRO saved me and I have been under their constant watch since then…well until Rat was supposed to be watching me and Jake traded me for money." The pain of that betrayal was still fresh. "Cartwright was determined to kill me this time. But my dad killed him instead." Liv was surprised she didn't have any tears coming from her eyes. Was she that hard to the violence that had happened to her or was she just so numb to everything still?

Juice stood up from where he was walked around the table and knelt near Liv. He wanted to kill the men who violated Liv. "I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. I wish I could take away the pain you have endured." Juice did the one thing she wanted Happy to do when she told them about her rape…he went to her.

He already had. Liv cupped his face in her hand, "Juice, the one thing that hurt me more than anything I had endured was the thought I had lost you. That I would never be able to touch you, feel you or say good bye to you. It broke my heart, I thought was finally coming to terms with you being gone. But having you here in front of me…" Liv stopped and leaned forward and kissed Juice. His lips were warm and inviting. They felt like home to Liv, they reminded her of times that were uncomplicated and peaceful.

"I love you, Olivia. You are my reason to live." Juice said quietly as they parted.

A/N: Okay so we are a few hours short of Sunday...sorry. I had to watch TWD season finale. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and now that the word is out.. HUGE thanks to TeamBlaus4EVER...my story is far better thanks to you! :)
ENJOY and as always thanks for reading!