A little bit of overview for the readers who I hope don't get too cross with me. This is obviously a Fic derived from Fallout 4 (IF YOU HAVEN'T COMPLETED IT YET, SPOILERS ARE WITHIN, SO HALT!) I was dying to write some Sole Survivor/Danse romance. He's an amazing character with, what I felt, tons of layers of angst. But if you've ever gallivanted the Commonwealth, you'll find there isn't a lot of dialogue to work with, so some of his lines may be a tad out of character, bear with me.

On another note, this is my first piece I've written since I had my son two years ago, so the flow will seem a bit choppy and for that I apologize. This is also my first time experimenting with first person (which generally I'm really opposed to) for any errors, I again, apologize! With that being said, I hope you enjoy!

This story is M and is suggested for only those 16+

This story has adult themes throughout, I'll tag incoming bits with an M. Feel free to skim over it if you'd like!

ABANDONED POST

"You actually drank the whole bottle?" Danse's voice sounded shocked. I smiled flippantly and gave my shoulders a small roll.

"Well, he called me coward. In the end, he owed me two-hundred caps and to top it off, he had to clean all my gear," my voice quivered with laughter. Danse just shook his head. I was regaling him and our pilot with a few tales from my prior Commonwealth days. Before I had sold my soul to the Brotherhood.

We were just landing on the Prydwen. My stomach was in impossible knots. Danse and I hadn't exchanged much in the way of feelings since the night in the radiation storm. I was okay with that. He was a man of very few words and I gave him the space he needed. We'd trudged the remaining footfalls to the base in a peaceful silence. Here and there he would ask me a question about my childhood. I think he was quite fascinated with life before the Great War. The idea of television and microwavable dinners amused him. I wondered if it saddened him to think that life had once been so trivial and simple. I longed to show him my world.

Once our boots hit the deck, he pulled me aside gently. He searched my eyes for a moment before speaking in a hushed tone. "You need to decide," he tossed a glance over his shoulder, "What you want to do about that holotape." I looked down at my feet and fidgeted quietly under his hard gaze. Something about him seemed off. I couldn't pinpoint it.

"I'll hand it over," I said slowly, flicking my eyes to his once more. I didn't have to guess that he was happy with my decision. It was written all over his face. He gave a tight, hard nod and led the way to the Command Deck. I followed silently, trying to muffle out the conversation I had shared with my son. Memories of Shaun lingered inside of me like cords leading to a long dead past.

The deck was alight with excited murmuring. I was sure word had spread like wildfire that I had successfully returned. Maxson seemed calm and collected, with a flicker in his eyes. The look of a hungry wolf. I caught a breath in my throat as we stood before him. My hands locked behind my back.

"You're here in one piece," Maxson stated in his gravely voice. Danse spoke before I could answer.

"Knight Delta completed her task and more," he said, almost proudly. I hid the mummer of a smile quickly and extended a hand holding the holotape.

"Very good. Very good," Maxson said, taking it with rough hands. I stepped back and only nodded, glancing at Danse. Maxson held to the tape tightly and gave a grateful sigh. "I believe Proctor Ingram has requested your assistance, Knight," he motioned with his head below us. "Oh, I was surprised to see Doctor Li at our doorstep as well. She mentioned you had paid her a visit, Knight."

"Yes sir, she was not so easily swayed. But I think she knew what the right thing to do was," I replied seriously.

"Of course," he quipped, dismissing us.

I hastily ate something that wasn't in a can, cleaned myself of the dust and dirt accrued on our journey back and claimed into a fresh uniform. Danse accompanied me back to the base below, where we met Proctor Ingram. She stood at a raise panel and began excitedly explaining her current project.

"Meet Liberty Prime," she breathed proudly. "Our most advanced piece of equipment. This old fella' is going to win the war for us." I looked at the mechanical man with wide eyes. The thought of that thing taking on the Institute was daunting. I think Danse recognized my hesitation and spoke up.

"Impressive," his voice was genuine. I'm sure things like that gave Danse immense pleasure. I continued to gape at it. Managing to peel my eyes away, I looked at Ingram sideways.

"What do I have to do with all this?" I asked politely. She tapped her knuckle on the panel and directed a hand towards Prime.

"He's all out of ammo. All thanks to Doctor Li, he's completely prepared for combat. Except," she motioned again to the combat robot, "he's missing his Mark twenty-eight nukes." I nodded slowly. I could see Shaun being completely disintegrated. I shook the thought loose and crossed my arms, focusing on Ingram. "Luckily for us, we've located a bomb storage facility in the glowing sea."

"Right," I followed her gaze. Ingram handed me a piece of paper.

"You're to meet Scribe Haylen at the marked way-point where she'll give you a distress pulser. Just activate it at the facility and we'll pick 'em up," she said simply.

"Right," I repeated, quickly turning on my heel and clanking off of the control platform. Danse hastily apologized for my curtness and followed me.

"Are you alright?" he asked quietly from behind me.

"I'm fine," I said, my voice seemed almost synthetic. I was going to do this, I just, had to let it all go. But spending all that time looking for Shaun, wondering where he was, if he was safe, alive... I had to let it all go. Sleepless nights, hard work, blood, sweat and tears. Surely he knew this wasn't easy. But, then again, a task such as this was probably very easy for Danse or anyone here for that matter.

"Listen," he said catching up to me. I kept walking, slinging my gun to my front and looping my trigger finger around the trigger guard. He stopped me and forced me to listen. "I know this isn't easy." I silently rolled my eyes at the ground. "I've had to kill someone I cared about," he said casting his eyes at the ground where mine were also looking. I gave him a saddened look and shifted my feet. He took a breath and explained, "He was a monster. Just because he was my friend, didn't make him any less of one. I don't know if it was right, and I don't know if I would do it again- but I did it and because I did I saved lives. I know what you're feeling, Delta," he placed a hand on my shoulder. "Monsters have to be destroyed, even if they mean something to us," he said gently. His eyes were glazed over, deep and pitless.

I wanted to argue the difference between my son and his friend, but didn't bother. I knew he was only trying to help. I just silently nodded and started walking again.

My footsteps seemed at random, despite a premeditated way-point. I don't think I spoke a single word the whole way. Danse trudged beside me, much in the same mood. Our trips were often laden with silence, bit this was like a funeral procession. I guess in some ways, it was. I was one step closer to killing my own son. One step closer to killing the only thing left connecting me to my old life.

When the silence finally broke, it was Haylen. She was poised behind a barricade, just outside of the Glowing Sea. Danse seemed happy to see her again. She handed me the distress pulser and exchanged questions. I asked about the police station where I had first met my first troop of Brotherhood soldiers. Rhys, Haylen and Paladin Danse. It was still in one piece, surprisingly. It always seemed to be a popular target for feral ghouls. The thought of it brought back memories of my first encounter with Danse. I'd saved their lives, showing up at the right moment, gun in hand. They were all grateful, save Rhys, who was never anything but angry.

Danse had to force me into a suit of power armor. I was more comfortable wearing a hazmat suit, but he insisted. I loaded into it like a timid house-cat, looking at the machinery with a raised lip. After I had suited up, he looked me up and down.

"I think it really suits you," he said with a small grin. I weakly smiled back and put my helmet on. He followed my cue and latched his on as well.

We stood at the edge of the Glowing Sea, looking out into the hazy, yellow abyss. I had never seen it before and under different circumstances I might think it was kind of amazing. I tightened the grip on my rifle and took the first step into the wastes of radiation. Danse stopped me short, looking down at me through the darkened eyes of his power armor.

"Whatever happens out here, promise me you will finish what we started," he said, his voice pulsing with... something, I wasn't quiet sure. I jokingly elbowed him.

"I always finish what I start." He didn't respond, only took point, gesturing for me to follow him. The loud whirring of our suits was almost deafening. Paired with the thick, yellow smog surrounding us, it was quite hard to maneuver. Despite a few trips and nearly opening my suit, I did fairly well for a beginner.

The Glowing Sea was an infinite stretch of death and radiation. Dead trees littered its plains. Bugs crawled over its many hills, craters and crevices. In the distance, the shrill call of a deathclaw rumbled along the noxious wind. I had heard of people surviving out here, but who would want to? The sun was blocked out by the layer of smoggy sickness. Anything that lived here could kill you with ease. But people really were capable of some profound things. Just the idea that all this beautiful like went to waste by human hands was saddening. The Commonwealth reeked of human pride and twisted justice, but this was a whole other tier of disturbing.

We approached the facility carefully. Danse cleared the perimeter as I gazed at it with bitterness. I sucked in a shaky breath as he came up behind me. He opened the doors carefully and checked each corner, waving me inside. He was being unusually careful. I mean, he was always tactical, but this was overkill. I loudly clanked inside behind him, following my his lead.

The facility was mostly filled with feral ghouls and garbage. Come to think of it, that was most buildings these days anyway. Little opposition stood between us and our way-point. With each step I steadily became more upset. I felt a panic attack coming on. The breath in my throat hitched. My chest heaved and tightened like high tension wires, snapping slowly in a gust of wind. I could feel my body trembling, my fingertips numb. I stopped midway down a set of stairs and grabbed the banister for support. Danse quickly turned around.

"What? What is it?" he asked with minor chords of panic. I bitterly sucked in a sob.

"I-I can't do this. Oh my god I can't do this," the words rushed out like a great epiphany. Despite Danse's protests I ripped my helmet off, clatter to the floor. I needed to breathe. I needed to fucking breathe. Each chestful of air felt more and more sharp.

"Listen to me Fox," he said, taking off his own helmet. He took my shoulders in his hands, "I know you can do this," he said, forcing his stare on me. I shook my head, blinking away tears. "You know how I know you can do this?" He asked. I shook my head rapidly. "Because you're the strongest person I know. I see all that you have been through and you're still here." His voice was stern, empathetic "You can do this because there isn't anything in this world you can't do."

"Really?" I said in a small voice. He nodded slowly, kissed my forehead gently and handed me my helmet. I had to admit, he knew exactly what to say to me. Even when it's not what I wanted to hear. I think he'd been exposed to outbursts for so long that had an entire guidebook on how to deal with me.

After I had wiped away my tears and picked myself up, we were on the way. I felt stronger then. I felt like I could do this. Like I could do anything. We followed the winding path to the center of the facility without incident.

As we reached a large metal set of doors, we found we could only access it by a terminal which neither of us were skilled enough to hack. Further back behind an observation platform we found an old man, surrounded by turrets and various ammo boxes.

"What... what are you doing down here?" I asked slowly, glancing at Danse. The moment the old man spoke, I knew we had run into a hiccup.

"I am a servant of Atom," he said with a grim looking smile. My eyes rolled behind my helmet. Oh, for the love of god.

"Yes, but why are you here," Danse said gesturing around him.

"I'm here to watch over his great gift." He babbled on about Atom for what seemed like ages. I had had enough.

"Well we need to get in there," I said matter-of-factly. The old man laughed with a wispy chuckle.

"Only his servants may enter this tomb."

I rolled this around for a moment and sighed, "We are here... to serve Our Father. We will praise his name on high... in the glow of his gift. That- uh, that he has bestowed on his children."

"Very well then, sister," the old man said happily and handed over the password. I graciously accepted it.

"Uh yes, all praise Atom, or whatever," I said and bowed my head repeatedly, backing out the door.

As we left Danse shook his head. "Lunatics," he sighed, watching me go to work on the terminal. "Handled very well, I have to say," he added. I just shrugged.

"When in Rome," I said lightly.

"Rome?"

"Never mind," I said dully.

With a few clicks and the dull thud of moving gears, the doors swung open. We were greeted with the sour smell of dust and trapped air. I went about setting up the distress pulser, thankful to finally be done. I needed sleep. Danse nodded approvingly and watched me inspect the gadget.

"You go ahead and report to Proctor Ingram, I'll stay here."

"Is that really necessary?" I asked.

"Someone has to make sure that nutcase doesn't touch anything," he replied. I had to agree. People like that were completely irrational and very unpredictable.

"Alright. I'll see you back at the Prydwen, I guess."

"Of course."

I'd managed to hitch a ride from a Vertibird, much too tired to walk all the way back. The ride back was soothing, the slow chop of the rotors put me to sleep within minutes. When I reached the massive ship, I reported to Ingram sleepily and immediately headed back to the barracks. I don't remember even getting undressed, just collapsing on my bunk with relief. I drifted to sleep in a happy haze, wondering how soon Danse would be back. I missed him already. Even his monotone, by-the-books attitude. Like... like a cute little bulldog.

I dreamt that Danse was a bulldog that night. He talked to me and everything. At some point I fed him canned food and he sat in my lap and we watched TV with Shaun. It got depressing quickly and I was thankful to wake up.

It was midday already and my body was sore. Everything in my body groaned as I forced myself to sit up. The barracks was empty, not surprisingly. I had slept longer than I had intended. But it was more than needed. I pushed myself out of bed and stretched all the way from my toes. After splashing myself with a handful of water, I made myself halfway presentable. Even going as far as brushing the knots out of my hair and peeling away at the dirt under my fingernails.

I was met on the Common Deck with hushed tones and mummers. I looked around cautiously, watching people point and give me looks of sympathy. Had Danse told them something? Something about Shaun? About my panic attack? My cheeks rushed with shades of red and I decided to skip eating. I hadn't even made it out of the repair bay before someone walked up to me. I had no idea who they were.

"Elder Maxson is waiting for you on the Command Deck, Knight." They walked away just as quickly as they had approached me. Oh god. He knew about Shaun. He knew about everything. Even Danse and I. I was screwed. I could jump off the ship, save myself the embarrassment. I could just open fire, go out in a blaze of glory. Ultimately, I sucked it up and headed upwards, my stomach groaning with every step I took.

I could see Maxson standing in his nook, his back to me. He was gazing out the window, his eyes clasped behind his back. The crew below talked back and forth. I could hear Kells giving out order, quoting numbers.

"Knight." Maxson already knew I was there. I nervously toed into the room, stopping a few feet behind him. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

Oh, fuck me. "I've... always been honest with you, sir," I said slowly, breathing unsteadily.

"Proctor Quinlan completed the decryption of the data you retrieved from the Institute," he said, his voice tense, unforgiving. My brow furrowed. Was there something in there about Shaun? "A portion of his findings included a list of synths that went missing or escaped from their underground facility." I was still at a loss for words. He paced to a small table and laid a hand on it. "After careful analysis of the information we've discovered something... unprecedented." I shifted uncomfortably. I didn't understand why he was grilling me or what this even had to do with me. "Paladin Danse is a perfect match for one of the synths on that list."

My knees buckled underneath me. "W-What?" I said, my face surely mirrored my disbelief. The room suddenly seemed very small and hot. "That's impossible."

"I'm afraid not. The evidence is damning. The data you brought back included a record of each subject's DNA. We keep the same information on file for each of our soldiers. Paladin Danse's DNA is a perfect match for a synth they called M7-97. To make matters worse, he's gone AWOL, missing without a trace. His sudden disappearance just reinforces our conclusion that M7-97 and Paladin Danse, are one in the same."

I stood there with my mouth slightly open, eyes glued to the Elder, like a deer in headlights. "I'm finding it difficult to believe that he never confided in you and then swore you to secrecy."

"He never said a word to me," I said, panicked. Those words echoed in my head. He never told me. Danse never told me he was a synth. I thought... he loved me. Yet he kept something like this from me?"

"I'm deciding to take you at your word. However, that doesn't absolve you from your duty. Danse is a syth. He represents everything we hate, a monstrosity of technology. Which faces me with the most difficult order I've ever given."

I held my breath.

"I'm ordering you to hunt down Danse and execute him."

Please no. Don't make me do that. I let my breath out slowly, watching as the room spun around me. Everything was shattering to pieces around me. It all made sense now. Danse's cryptic words to me before we left. What he said on the edge of the Glowing Sea. He was going to leave and he didn't even say goodbye to me. He didn't even tell me it was going to be the last time I'd see him. I tried not to cry, to remain emotionless. "I won't do it, Danse deserves a chance to explain himself," I said firmly. If this dictator thought I idolized him like these other lapdogs, he was sadly mistaken.

"You will do it! This is not up for judgment or debate! I'm giving you a direct order Knight, and I expect you to follow it without question."

I tuned him out. I wasn't going to win this argument. Fuck Maxson. I'd look for Danse, but on my own terms. If they thought I was going to put a bullet in him, which I was seriously considering given him immense lies, they were delusional.

I was sent to the Proctor Quinlan, where I would receive intel on the possibilities of Danse's location. I did as I was told. They didn't have to know I my intent. So I played the role of loyal soldier.

Quinlan apologized for the position I was put in and went right about discussing my mission. Were these people fucking insane? This was one of us! The man had served his entire life up to the Brotherhood on a silver platter and they wanted to kill him in cold blood. It made me sick to my stomach.

As Quinlan prepared to go over locations with me, Haylen burst into the room. "What is this crap about Danse being synth?"

Quinlan chimed in, quickly, "I assume this outburst a reference to some doubt regarding Danse's identity. I can assure you that my finding are quite accurate, Scribe."

Haylen's face was as red as coals. "So he sets Danse up and you knock him down. Is that it?" she seethed. I had to stop myself from slapping her in the face right then and there.

"I don't like your tone, Haylen," I replied, trying to keep my voice low.

"My tone? Who cares about protocol at a time like this?! I can't believe that after everything Paladin Danse did for you, you're just going to turn you back on him like this." She was asking for a nicely timed uppercut to the jaw. "There's obviously been a mistake, and we're going to get to the bottom of it."

"Scribe Haylen, you're addressing a senior officer. You will give her the respect she is due or so help me I will have you brought up on charges." Quinlan piped up, his voice lined with anger.

"My apologies Proctor. I believe I have some information that is relevant to the search."

"Very well," Quinlan replied, waiting for her.

"Knight, if you'd accompany me to the flight deck, I've compiled the information and I'd like to show you first hand."

"Alright," I said slowly, looking at her cautiously. I knew Haylen was close to Danse, so her information was definitely a help. I bid Proctor Quinlan goodbye and followed the Scribe down the stairs and onto a catwalk. She paused before me, her eyes bright, like she was just as shaken as me.

"Haylen," I started, not really knowing what to say. She cut me off.

"Do you really plan on killing Paladin Danse?"

"I haven't decided yet," I said slowly.

"I have known Paladin Danse ever since I was an initiate. He trained me, showed me the ropes. He's earned my admiration. My respect. I don't care what the report says, I don't care if he's a machine or not. He's still Danse."

"Calm down Haylen," I said, uncomfortably shifting before her. She was upset, clearly, but I didn't have time to deal with hysterics. Not now.

"Listen. I am asking you, not just as a member of the Brotherhood, but as a human being. Give him a chance to tell his side of the story."

"I will, Haylen," I replied quietly.

"Good," she breathed. "You'll do the right thing." Haylen gave a heavy sigh and relinquished the information to me. "Before the Prydwen showed up, Danse had me identify a fall-back point if the police station should ever fall. It was Listening Post Bravo. It's isolated and we're the only ones that knew about it."

I just nodded at her, and she quickly walked away and into the bowels of the ship. I stood there, letting myself finally submerge. Danse couldn't be a syth. He just couldn't be. But what if he was? He lied to me. Used me. He'd left me all alone with these people and that asshole never even said goodbye. I didn't know what to feel. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, but nothing would come. It felt like dry heaves. Wanting so badly for something to come up. I took a few moments to let myself get into the state of mind needed for this. I needed to talk to him. To confront him. I needed answers, whether he wanted to give me them or not. Damn it, that man was going to give me answers.

I wasted no time in heading out. I grabbed all the gear I would need from my footlocker. As I quickly stepped through the Common Deck I couldn't help but feel all the stares on me like I was a criminal. Some felt bad, some probably thought I was a traitor too. Word traveled fast on the Prydwen, apparently. And this wasn't the first time that I was the talk of the town. But I didn't want to be known as the traitor's pawn. I hated that he put this all on me like that. I wanted to strangle him. After all we'd been through, he didn't trust me? I was insulted. Betrayed, like he'd planted a knife between my ribs and left me bleeding out.

I didn't want anyone following me, or the location of Danse's hideout to be known, so I decided to walk. The trip was entirely too long. With every passing minute I became more and more angry with him. Every word he's said, every conversation was on a loop in my head. I genuinely thought he cared for me. I was such a fool. A fucking idiot, to think he could care for me in the way I wanted him to.

I ran into various amounts of trouble. I managed to escape with my life through every one. I think blind anger and growing hate is what guided me. Most of my traveling I did under the cover of night, avoiding buildings and caves, sleeping only when I absolutely had to. I was beyond the point of exhaustion, yet I pushed myself harder than I ever had.

I stood before Listening Post Bravo, victorious. If mirrors could talk, they would shriek at me. I was covered in all manner of dust and dried blood. My arm was jury-rigged into a sling after I had taken a nasty hit from a rabid radstag. I had a gash above my left eye and I hadn't drank any water in twenty-four hours. I could taste copper in my mouth, sticky and dry. I was heaving, the barrel on my rifle hot to the touch. Danse's way of saying hello was two turrets at the front of the bunker. I had almost taken a few hits, had they not called out with shrill alarms. I managed to duck behind some rubble, my heart throbbing painfully in my chest.

So there I was. I could feel the hot scorch of the sun on my back and the low growl of my empty stomach. "So this is it," I whispered, wiping my wrist along my lips. I moved my tongue, sighing at the dryness in my mouth and throat.

Quickly, I opened the heavy steel door, and trudged inside. The interior was dusty and smelled of rust and burnt wires. It was obvious someone had been here recently. I tiptoed through the first room, careful not to make any noise. I had no idea what king of state of mind Danse was in. If he really was a machine, he could be capable of much more than I thought.

I reached an elevator and mashed the button with my fist. It dinged up to me slowly, opening its rusted doors welcomingly. I hesitantly stepped into it and fit the first button I saw. The basement. The elevator lurched down, clanking and moaning all the way.

It halted at the bottom floor with a detesting shudder and it's door slowly slid open. I peered into the room uncertainly. I raised my gun, my finger shadowing the trigger. I couldn't say for sure how much I trusted Danse right then. But I couldn't really gage how he would react to me coming all this way to find him on the behest of the man who wanted him executed.

Without warning a tabletop turret whined to life and opened fire on me. I panicked and slid behind an overturned desk. The rounds hit the front of the desk and whirred over my head. Ricochet shots bounced back and forth across the room. I was completely done with all of this. I could feel the pale flicker of my temper bubbling within. "Danse!" I shouted into the next room. "Danse, if you do not turn this fucking thing off I will personally shove my boot so far up your ass you wont ever eat anything again without tasting leather!" Suddenly a round ricocheted off an adjacent desk and hit me in my calf. Through and through, clean as a whistle. I screamed, punching the desk with my fist. I sucked in breath, grabbed my leg between my hands and inspected the blackened hole that began to seep with blood.

A few moments later, the turrent groaned and lowered its weapon. I panted, wiped my sleeve across my forehead and sat up, bracing my back against the wall.

"Delta?" I could hear his voice from the other room, concerned, but much like a scolding father. I knew he'd be upset I had come to find him.

"Man down," I squeaked, my hands now shaking.

Danse rounded the corner and ran into the room. He came to one knee beside me and looked down at me with those soft, brown pools. "Where?" he asked gently, looking me up and down. I held up my calf and he took it in his hands. Without even thinking he ripped his sleeve clean off and wrapped it tightly around my leg. "You look like hell," he said, almost in amazement.

"Thank you very much," I whispered between clenched teeth. I stared at him, my eyes thick with tears.

"I'm sorry, but you understand why I needed these extra precautions..." he said. I tried to slow my breathing. "You shouldn't have come," he added, grabbing my arm and hoisting me to one foot. I winced, and whipped my head around to look him in the eye.

"Did you think I would let you hide?" I said hotly. He stared back at me, blankly. "And no surprise here, but Maxson wants you dead."

"I thought so," he sighed, scratching his head and walking across the room. He leaned on a filing cabinet and crossed his feet.

"What is wrong with you?" I shouted. I couldn't keep calm anymore. I couldn't hold it in anymore. He just looked at me, as if he were some innocent bystander. "You just left!" I practically screamed. I was too emotional, streams of tears clearing a path through the grime on my face. "You left me all alone again," I sobbed. I really hated that he was making me act like this. And when he didn't respond or react I picked up a porcelain ashtray and hurled it at him. It hit the wall beside his head and shattered into pieces on the floor. "Say something!" I shouted once more. He silently watched me wipe the tears from my face.

"Did you come here to kill me?" he asked plainly. I growled and limped over to him and with one fell swoop, slapped him across the face. I knew it was hard, because my own hand was screaming. Could he even feel pain? He grabbed my wrist and yanked me forward. "Did you?" he asked again.

"No," I said, yanking my arm back.

"Why not? I'm a freak," his words sounded painful.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, my voice wavering again.

"I didn't know. I don't know anything. I don't know how much of my life is real and how much is implanted memories. Everything I knew I was made to believe." I wanted to comfort him as much as I wanted to shoot him.

"How did you find out? You ran away because you knew." I accused him.

"I saw those records before anyone else," he said quietly. "I came here to make sure I wasn't going to be a problem," he continued. "I came here to kill myself." I tried to stop myself from crying again.

"And leave me here alone? You know how hard this world is for me and you would abandon me like that?" I said between breaths. I felt numb all over. I didn't know if it was emotion or my leg wound.

"I'm a machine, Delta! I'm everything I was taught to despise! Who knows what I'm capable of!" His words were hot and sad all at once.

"I will tell you," I said, my own words much the same, "You make me feel better about having to live in this burned out piece of shit wasteland. Despite all this death and hate, you make me feel... alive," I said, my mouth shuddering. Danse shook his head slowly and took me in his arms. I buried my face in his chest. I wanted to be there forever. Pretend like nothing else mattered.

"Fox..." he trailed off, putting his hand on my lower back. "I can't live knowing my whole life was one big lie," he rested his face on the top of my head. I sobbed into his shirt.

"I'm not going to let you go," I said bitterly, letting it all out. It was like a deluge. I cried harder than I ever had before. "I want to die right here with you," I said, looking up at him with my tear-stained eyes. He took my chin in his hand and shook his head.

"No," and he pressed his lips to my own. He kissed me softly, wholly, picking up every part of me and repairing it. I breathed when he let go and held him more tightly.

"Yes. If you think the only way you can do this is to die, then I will too."

"Delta, you're being irrational aga-"

"Do you love me?" I asked sharply, hopefully. He took a long pause and brushed the hair from my face.

"I don't know if I can love," he said. I looked down, feeling that familiar sting of rejection. "But I do know this," he said, kissing the side of my mouth. "The thought of living without you scares me more than anything I know," his words were warm and tasted like honey. "I can't live on this earth and know that someone else could be holding you. That someone else makes you happy."

"Then come with me," I replied quickly. I took his hands in mine. "They don't have to ever know. Come with me, Danse," I pleaded.

"Delta..." he said heavily.

"If you can't live without me, then you must know I will die without you. If I have to face that world out there without you, I will never make it." I pulled him towards the elevator.

"Where would we go?" He said reluctantly following me.

"We can go beyond the Commonwealth. I don't know, back to Rivet City where you're from?"

"I never thought of that," he said slowly, considering the idea with seriousness. We loaded into the elevator. I didn't know what was happening, it was all unfolding so fast. We reached the ground floor and he followed me with linked fingers to the entrance. "I guess as long as they think I'm dead it doesn't really matter..."

As we left the post, I stopped, cold. Danse nearly ran into me.

Maxson was standing in front of us. I stood in front of Danse protectively. Though if he wanted to get past me nothing would stand between him and killing this man.

"Why isn't it dead?" the Elder accused with an outstretched finger.

"Because I wont do it," I said firmly.

"You had an order, Knight. It's a machine and it must be destroyed. This thing embodies everything we hate!"

"If you kill him, you'll lose me," I quipped without hesitation. I could tell such a response angered him. He was fuming. "Danse has given everything he has to the Brotherhood," I said sharply, eyeing him with angered pools of blue. After a moment's thought, he spoke up.

"Very well. But heed this; if it steps foot aboard the Prydwen or near the Brotherhood it will be killed on sight." I felt a spring of hope and nodded slowly. "I will need to speak to you, Knight. I'll meet you on the Prydwen."

With that the Elder walked away. I felt as if he didn't put much up of a fight. Though I didn't leave him many options. They needed me. They were down one Paladin and I'd brought them far more success than anyone else they had on hand. No, Maxson did what he had to do.

I turned to Danse and smiled. For once, things had worked out as I planned. So much of my life was a big cosmic joke. Waking up 200 years in the future. Faced with a post-apocalyptic wasteland filled with mutated animals, bugs and people. Finding my son was Father. Losing Danse, someone I loved, because he was a syth. It was never fair for me, yet I did manage to salvage this one thing. "Now, where to first?"

"I would follow you anywhere," he said gently, pulling me close and kissing me.