Wow, I'm so happy to see so many positive reviews and kind words. It means so much to me. I've gone a long time without writing, so I'm happy for everyone;s patience and understanding. I love the constructive criticism as well! I have noticed quite a few typos when I read over a few chapters. I apologize for that! I do put all my work through a spellcheck but sometimes these little things escape my scrutiny! I do hope they aren't too horrible to deal with. I also noticed a lot of you have questions but I can't reply due to non-registry. I can't answer them all here, so I'll just answer the ones I remember. I chose to write this because Danse was the only companion I didn't want to dropkick for being annoying, haha! I loved his character, even the rude things he says. I dunno, I guess I have a weakness for the hardy, manly types. As for introducing Gideon, I did think very hard about introducing another companion, versus an OC, but my current plot wouldn't work with anyone. I promise he's here for a reason and I wouldn't put another OC in for just shits and giggles. I also would like to note I had a few struggles with a few chapters. I wanted to stay as true to the campaign while adding original parts as possible. In that way I can see how some parts seemed rushed and not as well done. It's a difficult position I put myself in, given Danse's personality and all, haha. I appreciate everyone's feedback and I apologize for the wait. Also for how short this chapter is, but you'll find it with good reason. So, with all that being said, enjoy!

A little bit of overview for the readers who I hope don't get too cross with me. This is obviously a Fic derived from Fallout 4 (IF YOU HAVEN'T COMPLETED IT YET, SPOILERS ARE WITHIN, SO HALT!) I was dying to write some Sole Survivor/Danse romance. He's an amazing character with, what I felt, tons of layers of angst. But if you've ever gallivanted the Commonwealth, you'll find there isn't a lot of dialogue to work with, so some of his lines may be a tad out of character, bear with me.

On another note, this is my first piece I've written since I had my son two years ago, so the flow will seem a bit choppy and for that I apologize. This is also my first time experimenting with first person (which generally I'm really opposed to) for any errors, I again, apologize! With that being said, I hope you enjoy!

This story is M and is suggested for only those 16+

This story has adult themes throughout, I'll tag incoming bits with an M. Feel free to skim over it if you'd like!

LOST AT SEA

I was adrift on the ocean. The waves, peaceful, lapped at my little rowboat as I drifted silently through the waters. I could see no land in sight, nor birds in the sky above me. Neither wind or sound hit me, for the waves stopped and rippled into a hushed, vast span of water. I laid back in my boat and closed my eyes.

The calm forged on, my boat circling with stillness in the placid waters. Abruptly, lightening sprang through the air, tendrils of light and power stemming out into a magnificent tree. Thunder snapped through the air like a mighty dragon, rolling with hunger. My eyes flickered open, staring up at the once cloudless sky. It was black and tumultuous, alight with anger. The lightening cracked again, licking past me like an unmistakable omen. I jumped, huddling down in my boat. The thunder, closer now, screamed at me, bellowing out. I shivered as the heavens opened up, rain pouring forth and filling my boat. The lightening struck again, this time hitting my boat. The wood groaned and splintered, cracking in half. I grabbed the sides as it capsized and the water lapped at my ankles. The mighty storm demanded my blood and I slid into the water.

It was cold and harsh, swallowing me whole. I thrashed and gasped as it pulled me down. I could see the light fade from the surface as the blackness pulled me deeper inside of it. I sank for what seemed like an eternity. Endlessly and helplessly. I did not struggle against my fate or drown. Just, sank. Forever.

I jolted from the mattress, my spine erect, eyes cold and glazed. My breath came out in gusts of strangled fear. I was covered in a cold sweat, even the thin blanket covering me had soaked through. With an anguished whimper, I pushed the heel of my hand into the center of my chest. Willed myself to steady its breathing. Slowly I realized I was not sinking, nor dying in a great abyss of water.

The room was black and heady, silent as stone. I rubbed the sand from my eyes and looked around.

Danse was gone. I didn't have to see the vacant mattress to know. It was as if death had visited me in my sleep.

I jumped from the mattress, nearly tripping over my boots. I ripped the blanket from the ground and wrapped it around my shoulders. I sprinted to the elevator and punched the button repeatedly. It finally left the basement and clicked to the ground floor. As the doors opened, I pushed through them. The flicker of Gideon's fire lapped up the shadows around me. Panicked I ran to the entrance and ran into the sullied, early morning air. It was silent. The only sound was the wind, whipping the leafless trees to and fro. I sucked in a harsh breath of air as the wind played with tresses of my hair. I looked out at the horizon and pulled the blanket tighter. With a rocky breath I lowered myself to my knees, my eyes glued on the distant glow of mushrooms, green and wavering. He was gone.

I sat there in the rising sun for what seemed like forever. The sounds of daylight didn't sway me, I was rooted there like a stubborn little tree. Finally, Gideon came out and silently sat down next to me. He didn't speak or move, just sat there, cross-legged. My eyes never moved from that spot on the horizon.

Gently, he moved a lock of hair from my face, glued by the sticky, salty tracks of tears. He sighed deeply, pitying me, I'm sure.

"He left," he stated dully. I didn't reply, still staring vacantly. He touched the wind-kissed skin of my cheek with his knuckles before standing up and leaving me to my own thoughts. Thoughts I really didn't want to be left alone with.

Sluggishly, as the sun neared the center of the sky, I stood to my feet. I trudged into the bunker and found Gideon eating quietly at his fire. I sat down on the wooden bench, wrapping the blanket snugly around my frame. He handed me a bowl of food, nothing of which I was interested in. I shook my head, refusing. He sat it next to me and resumed his own eating. Finally, after a moment he spoke up.

"Did you really expect more from that man?" he said bitterly. My eyes, dead and soul-less shifted to meet his. I could see the wince visibly as he noted the stillness in me. He quickly spoke again, shifting his eyes to the fire.

"He's not a man," I croaked, my throat hot and dry. Gideon looked at me with a furrowed brow but didn't push the question. As far as he was concerned I was just saying hurtful things out of pain and anger.

"Only cowards run away from love," he said gently. I stared at him, considering this with silence. "Everyone is afraid of something," he added, shrugging almost callously. I silently pushed the bowl of food across the bench, until it clattered to the floor. He looked at me, a small scowl on his face. "You shouldn't be mad at everyone else, because he abandoned you," he chastised me. I licked my lips, slowly and stood to my feet without a word. He watched me disappear into the back of the room, scratching the side of his face.

Sitting there in that stale darkness watching the sun rise, I think I watched the last good part of me disappear with the blackness.

I laid motionlessly in the darkness of my room for most of the day. I had no concept of time and ate nothing. I was bitter, angry, hurt and most of all, hateful. I analyzed the conversations I had had with Danse. Every last one. Like I was scooping up all my memories of him. Though we had only known each other for a short time, it was like I had lost my last thread keeping me tied to reality. To sanity, almost. When I left the confines of Vault 111, I was angry and vengeful. I looked for anything to kill, anyone to blame. I hunted down Shaun's kidnappers with the fervent determination of a warrior. Nothing stood in my path of destruction. Until I met Danse. Until I was offered something more than chasing memories and striking out vengeance like some twisted wasteland vigilante.

I eased out of bed, leaving behind my tattered covers. I stood before a cracked mirror, foggy with dirt and grime and looked at my reflection with depreciation. A bruise, thick as an arm, deep purple and brown stretched across me like a banner. It hurt to the touch, and the portion across my right ribs screamed with every chestful of air. I had most definitely taken damage to my ribs. The stimpack had healed most of the major damage, but the remnants of my battle still littered me like badges of honor. The hair on the back of my head was sticky and crusted over with blood from my head wound.

I went about washing the blood from my hair and tending to my wounds. The bowl of clean water was sullied crimson in a matter of seconds. I emptied the water and cleaned my face and hands. I brushed the tangles of my hair with my fingers and scrounged for some clothes. I couldn't walk around in only underthings forever. My Brotherhood uniform was split down the middle, so I was left with very few options.

I found a white shirt, dingy and discolored, but still in one piece. I slipped it on with a pair of jeans and reevaluated myself in the mirror. With the blood gone from my face I could see the swell of a black eye and small gash on my lower lip. The damage was vast, but not horrible.

I decided I was ready to eat, and met Gideon up above on the ground floor. He was surprised to see me, but did not speak. I think he was a little afraid to. He fixed me some food, hastily and presented it to me with a smile. I took it, hungrily and ate it silently on the bench. He poked at the fire restlessly and fleeted a glance or two at me. He wanted to speak, I could tell at his fidgeting. I swallowed a spoonful of my food and gave him a deadpan glare.

"What?" I nearly hissed. Gideon stared at me for a moment and sighed heavily, noisily.

"Are you just going to mope around forever?" he said, throwing his stick into the fire.

"So what if I do? It's no concern of yours," I spat back, my words acidic and heavy. He stood up and I leered up at him.

"You would just stay here for the rest of your life, sleeping and eating because of that asshole?" he sounded increasingly angry.

"I'll do what I like," was all I replied, setting my bowl down and standing up. I crossed my arms petulantly.

"Well I'm not going to wait around and watch," he said, kicking a log lightly with the toe of his boot.

"Well go then!" I shouted, throwing my hands up.

"Well fine!" he shouted back.

"Good!" I bellowed, giving him a tight, heavy shove. He let it roll through his shoulder and quickly pointed his index finger at me.

"Don't start with me," he said, his tone had dropped, much more serious now. I shoved his hand away and aimed a bitter, angry punch. Before I could follow through, he had grabbed my wrist, pinned it behind my back and subdued me.

"Let go," I shouted furiously. I used my free hand to swing my hand over my shoulder and punch him in the mouth. He let go, cupping his bloody lip. As I stepped away I was reminded of our play fight only a few nights ago. This was much different- we were both angry. I with Danse and he with me for being angry in the first place.

Gideon grabbed my shoulders and positioned his foot behind my legs, sweeping forward and knocking me onto my back. He pinned me down by the wrists, quickly, expertly. I wasted no time in kneeing the center between his legs. Cheap shot, but I wasn't playing games. He groaned and fell over, coughing. I stood up, brushed off my clothes and stared down at him victorious.

"I'm going out. Enjoy your dinner," I said curtly. I turned on my heel and toed through the shambled entrance, leaving Gideon defeated on the floor.

Once outside I sucked in a rocky breath and pressed the heel of my hand to my temple. My ribs protested, thick with pain. I subdued a groan and lightly cupped my ribs. Foolish of me to fight with an injury, but I wasn't going to sit there and listen to that man give me advice. I wasn't in the mind to and I was still pretty chapped at him for putting ideas in Danse's head. I kicked a rock with the side of my foot and watched it skitter into the grass noisily. I walked aimlessly forward until I was out of earshot.

Bracing myself against a tree I looked out at the ebbing light in the distance and watched the darkness invade. I bit my lower lip and rested my forehead against the rough bark of the dying tree.

"Why did you have to leave?" I whispered into the nothingness, tracing my finger along my lower lid and flicking away tears. Somewhere, far on the horizon a distant explosion answered me. I ran my teeth over my lower lip and sighed inwardly, "You said you wouldn't leave," my voice shaky and pathetic. I hated crying. I always had. I could remember crying in front of my father for the first time.

"Crying never solved anything," he said venomously to me.

My hand wandered down to my ribs, resting ever so lightly on them. I dabbled with the idea of hunting Danse down and turning him in to the Brotherhood. But for all that he had done I knew I still loved him. Was it possible to hate and love someone all at once? It felt like it was. Danse knew everything about me, even my vulnerabilities. I recalled our conversation, when had tried to kill himself. Pouring out to him as if he cared. Yet he left. Without a word. Not even a note.

I kicked the side of the tree lightly and sat down beside it. I began to think Gideon was right. I couldn't sit here and mentally eviscerate Danse forever - though the thought brought me endless amounts of amusement. No, I had to do something. Anything. I could become a ruthless gun for hire. Or a lounge singer. Or sell noodles in Diamond City- I'd be far superior to a malfunctioning robot.

"You know, I wanted to have kids someday." Gideon's voice broke my precious silence like nails on chalkboard. My eyes rolled and I kept staring forward. I didn't give him the satisfaction of a reply. He stood there behind me a moment, nursing his ego. After a moment, he spoke once more, "I'm sorry," he said and it sounded genuine.

"For what?" I said quickly, angrily. I knew I should have let him speak, but I couldn't bring myself to exude any bit of kindness.

"For what happened," he said, finally coming to sit next to me. He was playing with a stalk of grass, twisting it between nimble fingers. "You didn't deserve it," he added, flicking the grass and watching the wind take it. I looked at him sideways, my eyes swollen and exhausted.

"It was inevitable," I said firmly. Gideon nodded softly and leaned back, using his elbows for support.

"In any case... it happened. Thinking about it isn't goin' to fix it. Neither is beating people up," he teased, grinning at me. I looked at him flatly.

"I did that because you're an asshole," I said unapologetically. He chuckled lightly and shook his head.

"I will give you that one. But..." he leaned onto one elbow and looked at me with soft, gentle eyes, "What're you doin' out here? You aren't going to find answers lookin' at rocks and dead trees," he sounded concerned almost.

I took a moment and sighed, "I don't know." Gideon touched my shoulder lightly.

"If you'd let me, I can help," he said, eyes flickering. I didn't know what he meant. Not until he kissed me again. Soft and light on the surface of my cheek. I swallowed a lump and felt a smile tug the corners of my mouth.

"Are you this charming all the time?" I whispered, returning his soft gaze.

"Only with the pretty girls," he said. I shoved him gently.

"You're disgusting," I said with mock repulsion. He chortled and grinned at me with that little toothy smile.

"Well, it isn't my fault I find you so attractive. Even with that shiner," he said tracing my black eye with his fingertip. I rotated my eyes and gave him a raised brow. "It isn't just how ya' look," he whispered, tapping my lips lightly with the same fingertip. "I've never met a woman so determined."

"You must not get out much," I snorted.

"No, I mean you don't let anything stop you. You're like, like, a natural disaster," he said, each word filled with excitement.

"Oh, so now I'm a destructive force? Lovely."

"I mean you don't let anything stop you. You're a force to be reckoned with," he said as if he were in awe. I laughed so lightly it could barely be heard. "And the fact that someone like Danse could stop all that, well..." he paused and scowled, "well to be frank, it pisses me off."

"I think you've put me on too high a pedestal, Gideon," I softly replied.

"Ridiculous," he shook his head. He shifted then, to sit in front of me. He took the sides of my face in his hands and stared at me. I wondered what he saw there, in my glazed, blue eyes. "You are the most amazing woman I've ever met. No, I mean it Fox Delta. Any man who would brush you aside is a damn fool." He caressed my lips with his own. More passionately than he had the night he teased me. His lips parted mine and he lightly guided me. He pushed me down, moving his mouth to my jaw and neck. Had he advanced this far before Danse's disappearance, I would have slapped him so hard he'd see stars. But even now, full of anger and resentment, I couldn't make myself let him go.

I sat up and Gideon looked at me expectantly. "I'm sorry, I can't," I said softly, looking down at my hands.

"I understand," he gently replied. I could sense his frustration, though I couldn't bare to look him in the eye. "Let's go inside," he said, taking my hand and standing me up. I winced, cupping my ribs. He watched me carefully, as if I were made of glass.

Suddenly, the skies parted and it began to rain. We both stopped in our tracks and peered up at the blackening sky. I was reminded of my dream for a moment, and watched the lightening flash across the sky. Gideon smiled, the deluge soaking us both almost instantly. We sprinted back to the bunker, huddling around the campfire.

I warmed my hands in front of it, watching the storm rage on outside. Gideon stepped up behind me and handed me a tin coffee cup. I took it and dipped my nose past the rim, taking a small whiff. I recoiled and glared at him.

"Liquor?" I said incredulously. He chuckled, sipping from his own tattered cup.

"Well, I think you've earned it," he said, grinning. I rolled my eyes and gentle sipped it.

"I'm not good with liquor," I said, staring down into my cup with half-lidded eyes. It seemed everything I did could lead back to Danse. I drowned out the memory of the night we drank in the barracks, emptying my cup with one large gulp. "Alright, let's have another," I said, tossing him my cup. He caught it with one hand and filled it up. He placed it in my hand and sat down in front of the fire. I watched him a moment, taking long sips from my cup. Finally I sluggishly sat down next to him. My ribs protesting, groaning under my wet shirt. I touched them gingerly with my fingertips and growled. Gideon sighed and looked at me, his mouth pushed the side.

"I'm sorry," he said, gesturing to my wound with his head. "I could have prevented it," he said, swirling the liquid in his cup.

"Don't," I said, looking at him softly. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to think about anything. He nodded and finished off his cup, filling it back up from an unlabeled bottle.

We managed to finish the entire bottle. The night dwindled on and we talked about each other. Gideon was careful not broach any subjects involving Danse. Though, it was difficult. I described the Signal Interceptor to him in great detail, using my hands. His eyes watched me flickering, that toothy grin on his face. I don't think he believed me. In return he told me a story about his childhood. We exchanged the embellished stories, laughing and succumbing to the alcohol with quickness. Eventually our stories had turned into complete lies.

"From that moment on," I breathed, slurring my words, "I was known as the Widowmaker," I said seriously, our faces inches from each other. I burst out laughing, slumping to the ground and laying there, laughing as if I'd just told the greatest joke. Gideon chuckled, watching me with a flexed brow.

"The widowmaker?" he laughed, tapping the side of his cup. I nodded fervently, sitting back up and closing the distance between us. I whispered, close enough to kiss him.

"Yes... and I was feared among the raiders. They made me their queen," I said, widening my eyes. He laughed again, waving his hand at me dismissing my story.

"You are a- an awful liar," he said with a hiccup. I snorted, wavering back and forth where I sat.

"Yeah well you're just awful," I said, flicking his nose with my forefinger. I laughed at myself and raised my cup to my lips. With a look of shock I threw my cup over my shoulder. "Someone, somebody drank all my al-alcohol," I said, looking around the room. Gideon looked down at his own cup and gasped.

"Mine too," he said, letting his cup clatter to the ground. He stood up and pulled out his gun, "Alright you bastard, where are you?" I tried to stand up next to him but floundered, falling over and hanging from his arm. I giggled as I hung there like a rag-doll. He stumbled and sat down roughly again. I rolled to my side and laid my head in his lap. I sighed through a burp and giggled again. He stroked my hair, watching the fire with glazed over eyes. I closed my eyes and hummed to myself. For a moment we sat there, escaping reality. It was well deserved and I needed it. To forget about everything and just enjoy his company.

Slowly I raised my head and looked at him. My eyes, frosted over and bruised. Gideon tilted his head and returned my gaze, soft and sullied with liquor. I leaned forward and kissed him, softly. I lingered on his lips a moment, before craning back. He licked his lips and opened his mouth to speak but I stopped him.

"Shhh," I said gently and pressed my lips against his. With the liquor I could purge all those feelings out that kept me back. I could genuinely forget about the Paladin. I could forget about everything.

M

Gideon grabbed me and pulled me closer, tilting his head and reciprocating my every move with hunger and eagerness. His hand found the point underneath my knee, above my thigh and he pulled me into his lap. I straddled him, lacing my arms around his neck. His hands moved without hesitation on me. Blinded by liquor, we explored each other. The storm growled and poured on outside, the campfire flickering over us.

Gently he lifted my soaked shirt over my shoulders, tossing it aside carelessly. He ran his mouth over my jaw and dragged his teeth over my cold skin. His hands held my hips firmly and I sighed gently, smelling the sting of liquor on my own breath.

He stood up, taking me with him, my legs wrapped around his waist. He laid me down gently on his bed, looming over me, a carnal look dancing in his eyes. I closed my eyes as I felt his hands undoing the button on my jeans. My heart raced, my chest heaving. I clenched my eyes, his hands exploring once more. I could barely breathe, my hands gripping the blankets tightly in small fists. He stopped, his mouth hovering above mine. He brushed my lips lightly with his own.

"You're shivering," he whispered. I opened my eyes lazily to find his bright hazel pools staring gently down on me.

"Just... nervous," I said, a small smile on my lips. He grinned and bit his lower lip. I didn't know if it was the alcohol but he seemed extremely attractive at that moment. Gingerly he lowered himself, a hand next to my head, the other thumbing my hip.

"Do ya' want to stop?" his voice thick and inviting. I shook my head slowly, sucking in my lower lip. "Good," he said, pushing against me. I clenched my teeth, cutting off a moan. He kissed the side of my neck and muffled his own sounds into my skin.

The fire dwindled beside us, disappearing into nothingness with the blackness. The storm ebbed into nothing but the pitter patter of raindrops outside. When we had finally finished, lazily and drunkly, we fell asleep.

When I woke up in the morning, my eyes were heavy and sore. I felt like death warmed over. My head was splitting, my torso, where my wound was, pulsated with a dull pain. I didn't really want to think about what we had done. I just wanted water and to sleep forever. I sat up and scrounged around for my shirt, which was still damp. I pulled it on and slipped into my jeans quietly. Gideon slept soundly, not even moving from his slumped over position.

After I had replaced my wardrobe, I searched for a bottle of water among his things. But was having no luck in locating any. I poked through his bag, the bag he kept on himself wherever we went. I found nothing of use in it, a few pieces of fruit and a box of mentants. I reached into a random side-pocket and pulled out a piece of folded, yellow paper. I opened it and looked down a faded black ink.

My stomach dropped to the center of the earth, my hands shook, clutching the paper with a hard fist. The crudely scrawled words read:

Activate M7-97 Recall Code: Nautilus