"When I follow my heart, it leads me to you."
~Anonymous
Happy kept his cool, calm composure as he made his way to the waiting room, even though he was about close to a rage induced explosion. He knew that Juice had likely booked it out of the hospital, especially now that he knew Happy was gunning for him. There was a stipulation on Juice being in Charming; he couldn't see Liv. Happy thought he made that crystal clear to Natalie. If that woman was there he would put her in her place; she thought she cried when Liv snapped at her. She had no idea. He entered the waiting room that had become SAMCRO central and there was no sign of Natalie or Juice. No surprise. Happy clinched his jaw so tightly that he envisioned breaking his teeth. He would've loved to break some of Juice's teeth. Fuck, who was he kidding, he would like to have Juan Carlos' blood on his hands.
"How's she doing?" Chase asked as he made his way next to Happy. "Is she up for a visitor?" He still hadn't had a chance to see Liv and he was dying to do so.
Happy tried to control his bad mood, Chase didn't do anything to deserve how he knew he would come off. "She needs to sleep. I promised her I wouldn't let anyone visit her right now. Especially, after that fucker snuck into her room." He cracked his knuckles, wishing he could get his hands-on Juice.
Chase tilted his head sideways as if he were trying to figure out who the fucker was. Then it must have dawn on him, since there was only one person, who was there that was not welcome there. "Juice? What happened, man, you look like you want to murder someone."
So, it wasn't lost on Chase. It surprised Happy that he had even approached him if he knew that he was in a foul mood. Hap had to give it to him the guy was brave. "He told Liv, she was pregnant. It might not have been on purpose but he did it. The shit head wasn't even supposed to be in the hospital room." Happy could feel his anger creeping back. He really needed to blow off some steam, before Liv, he would have fucked some whore or several depending upon what sort of mood he was in. Now, he had to figure out some other outlet. Getting his hands-on Juice or the person, who destroyed his family and murdered Wendy would be the perfect distraction he needed. But Juice disappeared and the person who attacked Liv was still a mystery while she didn't have her memory. So, he was left to stew in a new shit-tastic way.
Chase ran his hand through his hair. "Well hell, I am sorry to hear that man. How is Liv taking everything? I know Tig had mentioned that she needed to find things out slowly."
Happy thought back to when he walked in the room, he had no clue what had just happened. It broke his heart to see his old lady freaking out the way she was, it would have hurt him even more if it was his words that caused such distress. At least, he could be pissed off at someone else. "Yeah. If finding out she was pregnant sent her over the edge what is going to happen when she finds out everything else?"
Chase puffed out a bunch of air in response; he seemed to be at a loss for words. Happy knew he was privy to everything that happened to Liv, so he didn't feel like he couldn't bring up the past. She told Chase everything, just like she told him everything. Happy was grateful for the friendship that Olivia built with Chase. He had helped her in ways that Happy couldn't. He was there when Liv needed someone the most. Chase hadn't complained that he had been in the hospital waiting to see Liv for two days and had not seen her yet. Happy really appreciated that about him.
"Hey Chase. When Liv wakes up you're the first one in to visit her. I am really grateful that you are here for her; even if she doesn't remember you." Happy gave Chase a rare smile. They were even more elusive with everything that had happened with Liv and Wendy.
It was another twenty-four hours before Chase got to see Liv; but they were fast friends. Even though she couldn't remember people she seemed to bond with the people who she had in Charming. She had even warmed to the idea of Tig being her dad. All this made her doctors very happy with how she was progressing. She would still need to see a therapist who would help work through everything. At least they hoped it would help.
Happy had decided that he and Liv needed a break from Charming, they were going to head to his childhood home. This was much to Tig's chagrin, he wanted his daughter to stay close to home as she worked on recovering her memories. Happy didn't dare bring her back into their house until she had recovered her memories. Granted, bringing her back to their house could trigger the memories but Happy didn't want to risk Liv breaking down. He wouldn't chance that and put Olivia and their child in jeopardy with the added stress it could put on them. In the end, Happy won; as if there was any doubt about who would win. They were going to stay in Bakersfield while Liv recovered. It also gave the club time to figure out who did this to them. They were still hitting dead ends on that front. They really didn't have any enemies any more. They had been clean for a few years. It was time to reach out to the other charters and see if they had any enemies that might lash out at the mother charter.
Liv's laughter filled Happy's ears as he rounded the corner to her hospital room. It was by far one of his favorite sound in the world, especially now. He opened the door to find Chase and Liv sitting across from each other in her bed. Chase was animatedly telling Liv a story about some shenanigans they had gotten into when they lived together. Those days without Olivia were dark days for Happy. He should have never let her get away. Shit, why was he living in the past? He couldn't take back anything that happened between them. They were together now and that was the main thing. He was proving himself in every way possible.
"Oh, hey Happy." Liv smiled at him.
"I didn't mean to interrupt. I can come back later." Happy started back towards the door.
Chase piped up. "Actually, stay. I was just saying goodbye. I really have to head back home. Reese has an art exhibit opening tomorrow and if I am not home he will most likely break up with me." He stood and took Liv into his arms. "Liv, as soon as you are feeling better you really need to visit us. We miss you."
"Of course. I miss you all so much as well." Liv replied without missing a beat. "You know it wouldn't kill you to come down and visit me here either."
Chase turned to Happy and raised his eye brows. Progress? Or was it that she just being polite? Either way, Olivia seemed sincere in her statement.
"Alright, I have to get on the road, if I want hit Portland by tomorrow morning. We will talk soon, Oliver." Chase grinned at Liv and stopped by next to Happy on his way out. "Take good care of our girl."
Happy nodded, "Of course." He then turned his attention to Liv, who gave him a smile. That smile. That coy fucking smile. Happy longed to kiss Liv, to feel her lips on his for just one moment. He pushed the urge away because the feeling of her pushing him away would hurt more than the impulse to kiss her. "So, I just spoke to your doctor." Happy sat down on the chair next to Liv's bed and said nothing else.
"Ugh, you're killing me, Happy. What did he say?" Liv pushed herself up and faced him.
He knew that Liv was dying to get out of the hospital. She had been getting antsy over the previous twenty-four hours. She had started to feel better and the only reason they were keeping her around was to monitor the baby for any further stress. Otherwise Liv was progressing nicely according to her doctor.
"Well, he said that you will likely be released tomorrow morning if you and the baby continue to do well." Happy stated.
"Oh, thank god. I cannot wait to get out of here. There is something about this hospital that makes me anxious. I really just want to leave." Liv smiled.
"There is something else." Happy paused a moment when he saw Liv's smile quickly diminish from her face. "It's not bad." He reassured her. "I don't think it's a good idea to have you around Charming as you recover. I thought we could go to my mom's in Bakersfield."
Liv's brow furrowed in response. "Isn't a little quick to meet your mom?" Liv asked.
Fuck. Happy thought to himself. "You won't be meeting my mom. She passed away a few years before you came to Charming. And don't you think if you play such a huge part in my life, I wouldn't have already introduced you to her? I own my mom's old house and used it as a getaway until you moved to Charming." That last bit Liv wouldn't have known. Happy had spent a good amount of time in Bakersfield after she left him. It was his safe place, it had always been the place where he felt secure.
"Happy, I am so sorry. Why can't I just go back to where I live here?" Liv questioned. "Or back to Charlotteville? Wait." Liv shook her head as if she remembered something she didn't want to. Her face twisted in revulsion. "Scratch that, as much as I miss everyone there; I don't really want to back to Charlotteville if Juan Carlos is there. He plucked a bad string with me even before he told me about the baby." Liv's hand went to her stomach and rubbed gently.
Happy rubbed his head in exacerbation; well at least Liv still made his life difficult. But on the bright side she didn't like the rat even in her current state. "You do live in Charming, with me, in our house. That is also the place you were shot, I don't think it is a good idea for you to back there yet. We don't know who did this so I want to make sure you and the baby are safe until we are able to find things out."
Olivia let out a reluctant and exasperated sigh. "Alright. I will go with you to Bakersfield…" She paused a moment and then squinted her eyes at Happy, "What if you are the one who did this to me and you want to get me alone so you can bump me off?" She teased but her tone had some hint of truth behind it.
Happy snorted. How could she ask him such a horrible question, even if she was just teasing? It annoyed the hell out of his already thinly worn temperament. "Do you really think I would hurt you, Olivia?" His voice on edge.
Liv was silent a moment before shaking her head, "No. I can't imagine you would. If it was you, I think I would at least feel uncomfortable around you."
Happy stood up and sat on the side of Liv's bed and took her face tenderly into his hands. This closeness was so hard for him to control himself, he wanted nothing more than to lose himself in Liv. The face that stared back at him was of the woman he loved but she didn't remember that she loved him. It hurt. A lot! "Liv, I would die for you. When I found you and I thought I had lost you and the baby. I…" Happy released Olivia's face as uninvited tears fell from Happy's eyes; he was pulled back into the moment when he walked into his house and found Liv. He felt weak and inadequate.
Liv wiped the tears from Happy's face. "Hap, please don't cry. You never cry." Something deep inside of her told her that. "You've been my rock." It just came out, she didn't even think about it. Happy's sadness turned to shock.
"What?" Happy's brown eyes searched Liv's. That is when she saw it, how had she been so blind, there was so much love behind his eyes. Had it ways been in such a transparent view?
Shit, she was so stupid for asking Happy if he had tried to kill her. It was clear that this man sitting next to her loved her deeply. More deeply than she had ever been loved before. She wondered if her love was as deep as his.
"I don't know how I know that stuff. But I just do and I am sorry for what I said before; I know you would never hurt me or the baby. And that you love me, even if I can't remember. You have shown me every day." Olivia paused but then she started back up again, "Um…did you tell Tig you are bringing me to Bakersfield? I can't imagine he is going to be all too pleased with it. He has said something about spending a lot of time with me when I get out." She wondered how close she had become to her biological father prior to her amnesia. Something told Liv, he was anxious about everything that had happened and was trying to keep her close.
"Olivia, what I feel for you is something I have never experience before." Happy admitted to Liv. "I was not lying when I said I would die for you. If I could change places with you, I would in a heartbeat. I would protect you with every fiber of my being. You and our child." He looked as if he was going to try to reach out and put his hand on her stomach but he stopped himself.
Happy instead took her hand into his. Liv's heart raced and the damn machines she was hooked up to betrayed her. She watched as Happy's eyes anxiously dart up to the screen. Liv nervously tried to draw him back in. "What did Tig have to say?"
"Oh, he was pissed. He said something along the lines of 'if you take her out of Charming, I am calling the cops and reporting a kidnapping.' I told him if you didn't want to go I wouldn't force you but I thought it would be best for you and the baby to bring you somewhere that is basically stress free." Happy smirked.
"So, what you really told him is you can't kidnap the willing?" Liv raised an eyebrow at Happy.
Happy laughed, "If it was only that easy with your old man. I know where you got being a pain in the ass from."
Liv let a fake pout cross her face. "Hey now, I am not a pain in the ass. Stubborn…yes, opinionated…occasionally, but I have never been told I am in a pain in the ass." She like how she felt when Happy was around. She felt safe with him. It was easy for her to open up to him.
Guilt washed over her again, she could believe she asked him about killing her. How could she have been so callous? She wondered if the new Liv was cold and cruel.
"Happy?" Her voice was low and on the verge of tears. He looked at her with a questioned look on his face. "Am I a cruel person? I mean not now but the me I can't remember? Me now, cannot imagine treating Natalie the way I did and I was so heartless to ask you about trying to murder me."
Happy's face soften, "Olivia Grace, you are one of the kindest people I know. I don't think you have an intentionally vicious bone in your body. What you said to me, it makes sense you don't remember knowing me and here I am telling you I want to take you away. I didn't take it to heart. As for Natalie, you are no longer close to her like you remember. Some bad shit when down between you and she hurt you deeply. Wounds like that are not easy to recover from."
"What happened between us?" She asked regarding her and Natalie. "If you think it will be too painful for me to know right now, just know that I feel like shit for how I treated Nat. I don't know if that pain can compare to how she betrayed me."
"If you really want to know, I will tell you." Happy started to tell Liv the story that he knew about what happened between Natalie and Juice.
Liv listened quietly as Happy spoke. It was as if she felt the betrayal before he even told her. How could her best friend and her boyfriend betray her in such a way. The hurt she felt in her heart was indescribable. But she no longer felt bad for the way she treated Natalie. Sure, according to Happy they were in a better place than they were before but Olivia felt that in the deepest part of her heart she would never really forgive Natalie and they would never be close like they were before. Especially since she was still with Juan Carlos or Juice…whatever his name was. She didn't fucking care. He had ruined the one relationship in Liv's life that had meant the world to her. Liv was still sort of reeling after finding out that Natalie just up and left without even saying good bye to her. Who did that to their best friend?
"You are going to chew a hole in you lip if you keep that up." Happy stated.
Liv flashed in a puzzled look but then realized that she had been gnawing on her lower lip. She quickly stopped. "Thank you for telling me about what happened. Now I really don't want to go back to Charlotteville." She no longer felt like it was home.
Happy pulled Liv's Pries into the driveway at his mom's house. Sure, he owned the house but it would forever be his mom's place in his head. He looked over at Olivia, who was still sleeping. She had fallen asleep about halfway through their three-and-a-half-hour trip to Bakersfield and continued to sleep even after the car was turned off. He hated to disturb her, she looked peaceful for the first time in days; no longer hooked to machines or IVs.
Happy reached over and lightly touched Liv's shoulder. "Liv we're here." She mumbled something incoherent and stretched her body out as much as she could. Oh, her body. Happy longed to touch her. He could not wait until he no longer needed to exercise restraint with Liv. Happy would rediscover every inch of her body and make her remember where he had been.
"It's a cute house." Olivia's voice pulled Happy out of his fantasy. He needed a cold shower. "Are you okay?"
Happy glanced over at Liv, who was studying him. He hadn't realized he looked strange. "I'm fine." He was such a liar. He should have just told her the truth that he was struggling with the fact that she was still the woman he loved and he was having a hard time being around her without being able to touch her or hold her or fuck her. Oh, he was sure that would go over well.
Liv frowned. "If you say so." Her tone told him that she knew he was lying. "I am starving." Liv stated as if she was trying to change the subject.
Happy still didn't know exactly where he stood with Liv. He knew she trusted him, that was obvious. But the part that killed him is he didn't know what she thought of him. He didn't know if he was overwhelming her or if she was okay with his protective nature. Fuck, he never cared about this shit before. Loving Liv used to be so easy and but it had become a fucking nightmare for him. He had to remind himself that Olivia was so worth every moment he struggled. She was worth every moment of pain he felt and at least he had the pain.
Liv awoke in a panic, she couldn't see his face but she could still hear his voice. His voice was etched into her brain, "where is she?" Liv felt so alone, it wasn't right. She crawled out of bed and quickly walked down the hallway to the room where Happy was sleeping. His soft snores filled Liv's being and her body began to relax a bit. It felt like such a strange reaction to have to snores. Happy rolled to his back, revealing defined musculature and an abdomen and chest full of tattoos.
"Happy?" Liv gently shook him.
"Liv? Is everything okay?" He shot up quickly, concern written all over his face.
Liv sat down on the side of the bed. "I…" she paused. She shouldn't have woken him up over a stupid nightmare. "I'm sorry, that I woke you but I had a bad dream." She took a deep breath and mustered up her courage, what was the worst that could happen? He would say no and there was nothing wrong with that. Liv also felt stupid for being scared after her dream. She was a grown woman for fuck sake. She was going to be a mom before she knew it. Liv continued and asked anyway. "Can I sleep with you?"
Without hesitation, Happy moved over and held up the blanket for Liv to join him. "Of course, you want to tell me about your dream?"
Liv shook her head as she climbed into bed with Happy. She longed to feel his closeness; Olivia wanted to feel safe, he made her feel safe. She adjusted herself so she was cuddled right up next to him. As awkward as she felt about asking Happy, this felt familiar. It felt right. Oh, so right.
A/N: As always thank you all for reading. I want to send a special shout out to Ang for letting me bounce ideas off of you. You do not even know how helpful you have been. I really appreciate it! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think...I always like to hear.