"C'mon Nigel!"
"No! There is no way in hell that I'm going to the beach!"
Rachel was begging Nigel to come with her to the beach on Valentine's Day, having thought of a way for the eight of them to once again skip the holiday festivities. Nigel had said no since she suggested it, even though she had begged, and begged up until now, when they were about to leave.
Everyone had packed and were ready for the beach, which was about a two hour drive away. The beach surprisingly stayed warm in February, and would not be completely packed, seeing as it was Valentine's Day. Almost everyone was in the car, and about ready to go.
"Rachel, he's not going." Abby said. "Not after what those delightful pervs did."
"Yeah," Hoagie agreed. "Just let him be to look for missions to do and paperwork to file."
"Yeah, I don't need this!" Nigel said. "Please leave me out!"
Rachel let out a long sigh. "Fine, but watch TV for about an hour! Seriously, Nigel, relax for once."
"Never!" Nigel yelled, running off to do paperwork.
"Whatever." Rachel said. "Is everyone ready?"
"Should be." Abby said as they went to the C.O.O.L.B.U.S. "And ignore him, Rach. He doesn't know what he's missing out on."
"Finally!" Wally yelled as he pushed past everyone in the bus as soon as Hoagie parked. "Sweet sand here I come!"
"Wally and his true love." Hoagie commented. "Sand."
"Leave him alone." Kuki said. "He just likes sand."
"Yeah, and maybe later, he'll fall asleep and we can make him sand boobies." Patton snickered. Hoagie laughed back, and the girls rolled their eyes.
About thirty minutes passed, and everyone was content. Fanny and Abby were sprawled across beach towels and in their phones, Kuki was messing with the sand and building little hills, Hoagie and Patton were in the water, Rachel was doodling in the sand, and Wally was buried in the sand.
Well, they thought Wally was in the sand.
"GUYS!" Wally yelled. "I made a hole!"
Everyone peered down and saw Wally had indeed made a hole, which was roughly the height of him, and the size of a tree stump. Everyone just rolled their eyes.
"Why did you build a hole?" Hoagie asked.
"I got bored of being in the sand!" He said. "And look, I found this-OUCH!"
"What?" Kuki asked.
"A fucking crab pinched me!" He yelled. He threw the crab that he thought was a shell into the ocean, as Patton and Hoagie laughed.
"How do you confuse a crab with a shell?" Hoagie asked.
"Maybe I thought it was a cool crab." Wally defended. "Before it pinched me."
They went back to ignoring him until a loud moaning sound interrupted the beach.
"Wally, did you get pinched by another crustacean you thought was a shell?" Hoagie asked as the moaning became louder.
"No, and it was a crab." Wally said. He smiled thinking he outsmarted Hoagie.
"Then what the hell is that?" Fanny asked.
When she got up, she saw it. Two people doing it in plain sight on the beach.
"WHAT THE FUCK YOU NASTY FUCKERS?!" She yelled at them. "DON'T YOU KNOW KIDS COULD BE AT THIS FUCKING BEACH! AND WHAT IF- OW!"
The couple had ran as soon as Fanny started screaming, abandoning the beach. Fanny remained crouched as she cried in pain.
"Fan, what happened?" Rachel asked.
"Jellyfish sting!" She screamed. "And holy fuck does it hurt!"
"Holy shit, let's get you to a hospital." Rachel said as she helped her friend.
"It's too far." Kuki said. "Someone should pee on it instead."
"WHAT?!" Everyone yelled.
"You know, haven't you watched the episode of Friends where Monica gets stung by a Jellyfish and Chandler pees on it to kill the sting?" Kuki suggested.
"She's actually right." Hoagie said. "Piss does kill the pain."
"But I don't have to pee?!" Fanny panicked. "Can't we just go to the- Oh, God ow! Y'know what, somebody pee on it for me!"
"Ewwww." Everyone said.
"Oh, please!" She said. "I can't reach my ankle! Please just make it stop! Make it stop!"
"Fine, I'll do it." Wally huffed. "You owe me, Fulbright."
"For literally peeing on her?" Hoagie asked.
Wally flipped him off.
After five minutes of trying, Wally gave up, stating he was too afraid. Fanny was sobbing from the pain know, begging someone to make it stop.
Finally, Patton came to the rescue.
"Turn around!" He barked at the others. "That includes you too, Fulbright!"
Finally, after what had been done was done, everyone decided it was time to pack up and go home, where Nigel would be waiting. But not for them, for a mission. On the ride home, Fanny and Patton sat a safe distance apart, as well as everyone else from Fanny.
"When you get stung, let me know how it feels." She snarled at everyone.
They finally returned home, to Nigel waiting at the computer for missions. Everyone looked either disgusted or distressed.
"I'm going to take a shower." Fanny said, not bothering to answer questions.
"So how was the beach?" Nigel asked. He did not expect the reaction he got.
"Never say those words to me ever again!"
"Now, something we can finally agree on something."
A/N: Okay, so this was inspired by the Friends episode that Kuki mentioned in the episode, having gotten the idea when I watched it. I know this one isn't that great, but I am planning on a bromance one tomorrow, and who doesn't love bromances? So hopefully that one will make up for it.
Also thank you to the lovely bocawitch, odetowords, and KNDnumber170! You're reviews were awesome, and I absolutely adore all of your stories! You guys rock!
Check out my story, The Adventures of Eight Teenage Idiots in Time and the other oneshots I have posted! They may be worth the read! Probably not, but whatever, might as well try.
Constructive Criticism is Welcomed!
Please Review!
Bye- Nat