The initial shock of it all was in a sense rather short-lived, having seen a 'Welcome Home' sign in the Headmistress' office earlier that day. The look of sheer terror on Hermione's face quickly turned into pure annoyance. She felt herself beginning to become angry, the heat creeping from within her chest, rising to her neck.
Harry quickly spotted the emotional transformation on Hermione's face. He turned towards her, so his back was to the crowded Hall.
'Mione, breathe,' he commanded quietly yet sternly, focusing on her dark eyes. 'Breathe. Please. They…we just got carried away,' he added, his tone apologetic. 'We love you, honest we do and we…we just got excited, that's all. You've given us a reason to celebrate…' Harry could see she was having no part of this. She wasn't even listening to him, and instead was continuing to glare at the sign on the ceiling, her name in bright twinkling lights. Harry sighed in frustration. "Here…" he said, a lick of disappointment in his tone.
Harry turned around and with a single swift wave of his hand, the sign in the sky, the balloons, and any other sign of a celebratory decoration was immediately vanquished. He turned back around to face Hermione.
'Better?' he inquired with raised eyebrows, an optimistic look upon his face though unable to hide the disappointment in his voice.
Hermione closed her eyes slowly and reopened them. She felt the heat leaving her body, and her body became a bit less stiff. She was still very much guarded, as her eyes scanned the area before looking back at Harry.
'Fine. Better. Thank you…,' she added softly, her arms drawn up and criss-crossed in front of her torso as if protecting her form. She stared straight ahead.
Harry put a hand on the small of Hermione's back and with just a tad of force, guided her to a massive table in the middle of the room. The four large tables and benches that Hermione had remembered from long ago had been removed, and a giant dark-wooden table with mismatched chairs had been placed in the center. There were abundant amounts of hot food placed strategically on the table, golden goblets of sweetened pumpkin juice, and perfect arrangements of deserts and pastries that looked absolutely mouth-watering.
Harry firmly led the woman to one of two empty chairs that were located in the center of the table. Hermione was grateful for this. It was easier to blend in by sitting within the center of the table, rather than being placed at one of its ends for all to stare at. Although due to current circumstances, 'blending in' appeared to be quite futile.
Hermione eyed her seat carefully before pulling out the chair and gently sitting down. She swallowed and her eyes rose to scan the people that surrounded her. It was just as it was in the Headmistress' room only hours before. The looks on the familiar faces, the smiles: it was all out of love. Molly and Arthur Weasley, Ginny, Fred and George were there. Luna sat next to Ginny, and on the other side were Tonks and Lupin. Madame Pomfrey had a most joyous expression on her face, yet Hermione noticed that her eyes looked quite tired and appeared to have purplish circles underneath of them. She sat on one side of Hermione. The Headmistress sat at one end of the table, a tight smile on her lips. Even Kingsley Shacklebot was present. Hermione struggled to remember if he was still the Minister of Magic, or whatever it was called these days. Hagrid was also seated at the table, a huge grin upon his face. There was Harry sitting on the other side of Hermione, his back slightly arched forward as if protecting her from a rogue turkey leg that might try to attack them during the course of dinner. And last but not least, Serverus Snape was sitting directly across from Hermione, his face unsurprisingly void of emotion.
Minerva McGonagle was the first to speak.
'Well, let us all begin before supper gets cold…shall we?' she stated matter-of-factly, as she scanned the table.
Hermione looked at the older woman, and then back at her empty plate. Everyone around her began taking their own portions of dinner, some more than others. It seemed as though when given the 'OK' to begin eating, Fred and George filled their plates sooner than one could say 'Quidditch.' Hermione rolled her eyes and smiled inwardly. Some things never changed…
There was only one person missing tonight. Well, two if you counted Dumbledore, but really only one that mattered most to Hermione. It saddened her to think of the times when the three of them used to eat meals in this very room. The times they studied last minute for a Transfiguration exam. The times they spent eating breakfast together before the boys had a Quidditch match on an early Saturday morning.
As if sensing her sorrow, Harry leaned in and began to load up Hermione's plate with food.
'Eat, Mione – you're going to need your strength. Especially tomorrow,' he added as an afterthought, piling a steaming plate of mashed potatoes on her plate.
Tomorrow? Hermione thought to herself.
The young woman turned her head to look at Harry. 'What's…tomorrow?' she asked cautiously, a puzzled look on her face as her brow furrowed.
As if on cue, the Headmistress wiped her mouth with a maroon-colored napkin, and cleared her throat after swallowing a mouthful of pumpkin juice.
'Ah yes, Hermione,' the Headmistress began. 'We are entirely grateful that you are here with us to assist with all the…festivities, as they may be called. Tomorrow is, indeed, the first day of classes at Hogwarts,' she announced to the young woman, a small smile on her lips as she spoke to Hermione from the head of the table.
Hermione felt her eyes grow wide, and her breathing halted.
She had forgotten what tomorrow was. Had lost all track of time. It was September 1st. Indeed, the first day of classes at the castle…
Madame Pomfrey placed her fork down with a slight 'clink,' and turned her head to look at Hermione.
'Oh, I am so very happy that you have decided to stay and help out with the children! You have no idea how much this means to me – an extra set of hands in the hospital wing is always appreciated, especially with Quidditch tryouts, exploding cauldrons, and other mishaps,' she continued with glee, obviously tickled pink that Hermione would be around to help out with routine illness or ailments. Her voice was soft, yet firm and she appeared truly thankful and appreciative to have someone around to assist her.
Severus' mouth formed a tight line, as the ends of his lips curved ever so slightly to mask a smile. He enjoyed watching Hermione taking all of this in. With Pomfrey's blissful attitude, there was absolutely no way that the young woman would leave now. As much as she was angry, frustrated, and utterly confused regarding the entire span of events over the course of these past few days, he knew of one thing: Hermione was dedicated to her career. Without a job at her old hospital, she had a new one to busy herself with. And if there was another thing he knew about his most beloved student, it was that she thrived at keeping both hands and mind busy.
No questions were asked of Hermione during supper. Instead, most of the conversation took place surrounding the young woman. Harry thought it best that they didn't throw question after question at Hermione, or gush at the fact that she was where, in their minds, she belonged. The idle chitchat was somehow soothing to Hermione. She finished what little dinner she could muster, and ate half a lemon pastry. Hermione had to admit that the food was pretty good. Either that, or she was so deprived of nutrition during the last few days that just about anything would have tasted delicious.
Soon, supper had ended and the guests began to drift from the table, one by one, some in pairs. Hermione looked at Harry.
'I'd like to get some air. I think.' She desperately needed some fresh air to clear her thoughts. To rescue her emotions.
Harry gave her a silent and disapproving look. His eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth to speak.
Hermione rolled her eyes, flustered by Harry's mute gaze.
'I won't run. I promise. I just want…need to be outside for a moment. Alone,' she pleaded softly to the young man next to her. Harry's emerald eyes softened a bit. She needed her space, this was most certain. But could she be trusted? Harry had no choice. If she was to trust him, he was going to have to trust her.
Harry cleared his throat.
'Of course, Mione. It's beautiful outside. Well, as if you couldn't already tell…" he joked, a crooked smile appearing on his face.
Hermione gave Harry a small smile, and grabbed hold of his hand. Squeezing it ever so gently, she spoke to him.
'Thank you. I'll…I won't be long,' she said quietly, as she removed her hand from his, and got up from her seat, walking swiftly towards the door to the Great Hall. She opened the door, and began her decent down the cool, white marble steps.
Severus viewed the entire scene before his eyes. Harry watched his friend exit the hall, and instantly met the gaze of the man sitting across the table from him.
'You don't think she'll run, do you?' Harry asked Severus. It seemed more of a statement than an actual question.
The Potions Master rolled his eyes.
'With the charms placed around the castle, and no wand to control them, it would be most difficult for her to get very far at all,' Severus stated matter-of-factly to the young man sitting across from him.
'However,' Snape continued, '-she is still quite clever. Brilliant, that is without doubt. Foolish, yes and also as of late quite…unpredictable. But she is…clever,' he added as an afterthought, picking up his goblet to sample some pumpkin juice.
Harry looked at the wooden door to the Great Hall with a worried expression. She was clever. Would figure something out.
'Maybe I should go out there just to check-' But Harry was abruptly interrupted by a gigantic figure who plopped down beside him.
'Harry!' Hagrid interjected, '-Question for ya: Might yer be interested in helping me out with the first-years this year? I may be a little late-'
Severus took this newfound opportunity to rise from the table in one swift motion. He quickly stood up, and immediately exited the Great Hall without another word. 'Thank God for small favors,' he thought to himself, as he smiled inside, grateful for the giant's interruption. Listening to his shoes pound softly on the marble steps, he eventually found himself approaching the front doors to the castle. With calloused fingers, he grabbed the handle and pulled forward, opening the castle to a red-orange setting sun. He took a few steps outside, and looked to his right. No sign of anyone. He looked to his left, and saw a young woman sitting on a bench in the courtyard, arms crossed, her head bent down, as her legs sprawled haphazardly in front of her. One of her shoelaces was slowly becoming untied. Severus concluded that it was doubtful if she even cared.
The Potions Master slowly approached the young woman, walking ever carefully towards her slumped figure. He stopped in front of her, regarded her form, and without a word sat down beside her, staring at the fountain in the courtyard.
'For the last time, I'm not going anywhere…you can go back inside now,' he heard the muffled sound coming from the body next to him. Hermione still had her head bent as she addressed the man next to her. Her long hair began to blow in the breeze, slightly uncovering her face.
Severus continued to stare at the fountain.
The two sat in silence for a few moments, the only sound being the fountain bubbling in the near distance, and the echo of a few birds chirping and chattering in the surrounding trees.
The quiet was comfortable for both individuals on the bench. Truth be told, Hermione actually didn't mind having some company at this very moment. She was in fact glad that the man next to her had ignored her request to return to the castle. She found his presence…comforting, in some sort of strange way. And for the first time in many days, she felt oddly safe with him next to her…
She thought of when he held her in the hospital wing. How he had come to visit her in Saint Mungos. How he was standing there, egging her on as she pointed her wand at herself only nights ago. All of these new memories…they were confusing to her. And yet, once again, strangely comforting…For once it was nice to feel as though she mattered. That someone was watching out for her. That others cared about her as a person, and not just merely a script-producing Physician.
…But then again, they did kind of think of her as just a Physician, she thought to herself. That is why they want me here. Not because I matter as a person. No, I am here to work. They are using me! They are using me to-
'Enough,' she heard a voice bellow from the man sitting next to her.
Hermione was abruptly ripped from her thoughts. Her head snapped up as she stared straight ahead at nothing in particular, her brown eyes glazed over.
The young woman blinked a few times and inhaled and exhaled deeply. Her hands were still crossed in front of her. She began to bite the inside of her cheek.
Severus sighed. 'As unpredictable as you are, Hermione…you are terribly easy to read…' he stated confidently, continuing to look straight ahead. At least to me, he acknowledged inwardly.
Hermione slowly turned her head to look at Severus.
'Really…' she boldly stated, looking at the profile of the man sitting beside her. She studied his face for a brief moment. His features appeared the same, although he did look just a tad more sallow. And tired. Come to think of it, he looked…exhausted. Hermione's brow furrowed in regards to her present thoughts.
Severus turned his head to face her. He raised his eyebrows.
'Yes. Really.' His bored expression was now the least bit comforting to Hermione at this point. It was actually quite irritating.
'So, you can read minds now? You can hear my thoughts?' she inquired in a mocking tone.
Severus narrowed his eyes.
'No, you daft girl. I have never been a mind reader, nor will I ever be one. As I stated before, you are very easy to read. It would take an idiot not to be aware of how flustered you become when your thoughts are out of control. You breathe faster. You clench your fists. You become…very tense,' he added, still looking at the woman sitting next to him.
Hermione's mouth formed a single line, as she clenched her jaw. She broke eye contact with Severus and continued to watch the fountain. How dare he try to…figure me out, she thought. It angered her.
'Your wand is in my office…if you would care to retrieve it one of these days…,' he added, still looking at Hermione. A few moments of silence passed.
'You will do magic again. I promise, Hermione…'
'And what if I don't? What if all I can do is…is wreck objects, and doors, and…oh who the fuck knows what else if I don't…can't control my emotions?! I'm a danger to everyone around me, including myself. I can't even imagine what the others must think-'
Severus interrupted her.
'They do not see you as you perceive yourself to be. They simply see you. And no one else. They see the same person they always have. There is no illusion,' Severus concluded sternly, once again looking at the woman beside him.
'As I stated before, I will help you. And if you feel as though you cannot be…helped, you are free to do as you wish. If you choose to leave, I will respect your wishes. If you choose to never be in our presence again, I will respect that as well. But as long as you are here,' he added, his voice becoming quieter, '…I refuse for you to give up on yourself without even trying. I will do anything and everything I can to help you. To protect you…' he said to her, his eyes beholding the truth of every word he spoke to her.
Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep cleansing breath. Somehow, his voice, his words were very calming. She…dare she say it…was perhaps beginning to trust him. It had been years that Hermione trusted anyone. No one was worthy of her trust, she believed. Most importantly, when you open your emotions and more importantly your heart to another, you make a choice to let them in. What do I have to lose now…the young woman thought to herself. Here she sat, mentally scolding herself for becoming vulnerable once again. In her mind, she did not necessarily need a protector. Or a teacher. Or someone to tell her what she ought and ought not to do. She needed…a friend. Someone who would not judge her. Someone who would accept her for what she was, and who she would be. Someone she could…trust…
Hermione uncrossed her arms, as she placed her hands palm down on her thighs. She swallowed hard and stared straight ahead. She took her right hand, and laid it ever so carefully on the bench next to her, palm up. The Potions Master turned his head to look at the young woman, took a brief second to regard her empty hand, and turned his gaze in front of him. He slowly and deliberately slipped his left hand into Hermione's palm, honoring her silent request. He felt the warmth of her hand, as they intertwined ever so carefully.
Her grip was firm. Deliberate.
He permitted his eyes to glance towards her. She had a hardened expression as she continued to look in front of her. She was once again biting the inside of her cheek, and it looked as though she had a million thoughts swarming through that brain of hers. Some things never change, Severus thought to himself. He then peered down at their hands, and felt a warm feeling envelope his chest.
Then again…perhaps some things do…