The disease ridden lands filled a labyrinth of death. Darkness following the young girl with each choice she made. A cloud of smoke blanketing the blood and gore from the slain, the sick, and the old. Such misfortunes leaked in tears like a whisper of silence. Took pity in someone so young.

Blood warmed her hands as she plunged the knife into its neck. The death was swift, but all the creature did was gurgle on it's own blood before stumbling on top of the young girl. A clawing ache of fear shadowed her veins. There was blood everywhere. She loosened her grip on the knife as crimson sprayed on the dirt. Regret and rage was masked on the trembling girls face.

For it was a youth, she murdered.

No-this was self-defense, the damned fool hunted her down. Yet even with his recklessness he didn't need to die.

A wraith she was to enter their territory. A wraith only followed by torment and despair.

September 23rd, 2026, San Francisco, California.

I had been tossing and turning for the last remaining hours of the day. A collision of red and pigments of black clouded my vision when I finally woke up. My stomach twisted violently before I heaved out the window. Eyes now watery and sweat coating every inch of my body. No screaming this time from the nightmares. I'm fine.

You're not fine.

Bile stung my throat. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.

The outside was dark compared to this morning. I felt small in my room. I stared at the window.. there was still light.

Before darkness could swallow up the room it was lit. Bright highlights of dusk coating the room seemed to make things feel safe. I was content, unaware of the constant heaving I had. The room was dyed with rays of darkened orange, accompanied with the color of blood poured in. Soon replaced of comforting golden yellow. In the blink of an eye, hate filled the room. How long I had sat there.. I didn't know.

As if I had been kissed with comfort it was all gone momentarily. The loneliness, the despair, the hurt. Gone. Such a nightmare that taunted me every night. I was somewhat glad I dreamed less of Carrie's death and that day when I killed for the first time. What a miserable excuse. The excuse of which I'm constantly met with nightmares. If other people can get over what happened in the past so can I. I'm beginning to move on.

The musical silence of children's laughter filled my ears from outside.

The flowing autumn breeze upon the morning air made my blood chill. Today there is no rain, except for the lingering scent that filled my nostrils from a few nights ago. Even then I miss the clouds that would illuminate and shadow the sunlight. I must admit that I love the blossoming hues of the rising sun. Though coating the morning air in the mist turned fog. Soon to be faded away as the day continues.

Sprawled on the floor, paintbrush in hand, I was practically in my element. Maybe this celebration is supposed to be a reminder of how life was like ten years ago. Sharing food together, dancing, creating elaborate decorations for many to be in awe of. It felt nice to have a day to forget about the darkness surrounding our world. Etched in something so merciless it was hard to believe there was still purity in the world. No one is a saint, and nothing is pure. With the celebration.. I must say it does have me forget for a short while of how the world truly is.

Sunlight painted the room Ellie and I was in. The large decoration we worked on was to be nailed in the old City Hall. Where school is attended and most of the celebrations are hosted throughout the entire year. My paintbrush was flecked with the variety of colors I used. A cascade of mostly golds, oranges, yellows.. and red. A way to uphold and mark a new day-a new day of darkness and death. I find it strange that this is the holiday that everyone makes a fuss over every year. I love but hate it at the same time. Primarily of it's meaning.

"Well, I'll be damned. This turned out great!" My father's voice hovered over me. A trickle of happiness bloomed inside and I placed a smile upon my lips. He was becoming much older as years go on. His voice rumbled and was soft toned, sounded bitter but at peace. When the Outbreak arrived his hair used to be such a soft black. Now chiseled with grey, and has grown a beard that was flecked with grey, soon to turn white. That's what age does to a man whose been stressed for ten years taking care of a son and daughter. He patted my shoulder and pressed a kiss to my forehead before ruffling my hair once again. As always I swatted my hand playfully at his hand. My father's dark eyes studied the large canvas that Ellie and I worked on.

Intricate designs were everywhere. The symbols that masked the canvas were swirls, fallen leaves, and feathers. A way to welcome the hidden day of autumn. Even if this is a day of darkness and death I will think of the happiness and rebirth to be brought forth from the harshness. No death, no fear, no grief, and no regret.. I'm ready to finally move on from Carrie's death. If the nightmares allow it.

With more of my personal touches I had painted vivid images of fox tails, thorns surrounding a young woman, and eyes. The eyes.. they don't make sense. Hazel eyes with warm tones of green flecked with gold. Then a second pair I added was wonder-filled sky blue eyes. A blue I hadn't seen anyone here possess. So for the hell of it I just felt like painting the eyes. My excuse.

"I thought there was supposed to be work today?" I asked. Shifting my blue-grey eyes from Ellie to my father.

"Dreyfus is letting everyone take a break from working for now. Mainly for the celebration and all to get ready." Ellie inquired, I beamed at the thought that for once everyone can enjoy the pleasures to not deal with anything.

"That means security is off for the day as well?"

"Not.. exactly, they'll be doing hourly shifts today from what Dreyfus said." Of course, as if anything would bother to come here without getting their heads blown off. Unless there is something or someone out there. Hell the only other community I've known to be around was Millerton. Though it has been such a long time. Who knows how things have changed back in that little town.

"I gotta get going! See ya soon kiddo!" With that he ruffled my hair again before I had the chance to react.

"I think we're good yeah?" The woman in front of me said. Rubbing colored stained hands on her pants. Ellie is the main medic who works in the infirmary. Along with Hope and one other named Laura. She's married to Malcolm, one of the Founders Council members for the Colony.

"I suppose, but thanks for helping me, Ellie. Julia would of gave me an earful if I never got finished with this." It was true. This celebration has been the one thing on Julia's mind for.. god knows how many months. Planned the music, planned the decorations, planned-well everything! I hope she gets many thank you's tonight. She truly deserves it after constant planning, stress.. crying, yelling at Alexander for how things should be placed, preserving pastries and special foods that everyone (including myself) are looking forward to. Everything. At the same time Julia still manages to plaster a smile on her face. A bit demanding, but is very organized and fun to be around. I met her last year shortly after I purchased a basket of her father's spices and herbs.

A reasonable man her father is. Share her life filled darkened eyes and such a bold smile that could brightened anyone's day. Through Julia's father, he assigned me to clean the mess hall. A bargain to pay off the large quantity of spices and herbs that were way out of my ability to afford. I didn't have enough items to trade at the time. So him and I made a bargain that I'll work in the mess hall for an entire year. I wasn't going to be a damn fool and pass up the offer. Someday I'll repay him with clothes, food, or even medicine. A fair man he is.

How I met Julia.. it's a long, worthwhile story to tell someday.

"Oh my god! It looks perfect!" Sunlight danced on Julia's hair as I half turned to see her. Ecstatic and bright with cheerfulness as she looked over the canvas, "Thank god you both got it finished in time. I was worried to death that it wouldn't be ready!"

My fingers tug on the woven bracelet. A habit that I formed before Preacher and I.. had done what we did. Awkwardness became unbearable between us. Perhaps tonight it can be the way things were before he took us to the Rodman household. Main problem to work on; have fun tonight and pretend things are normal for a change.

The events of this morning were still present. Trembling I finally stood up. Ducking my head into the bowl of fresh water on the desk Hope had placed earlier. Letting the cool water absorb anything I recently felt. A knock on the door alarmed me that my presence wasn't alone.

"Miriam, you ready?" It was Tanner. I was nowhere near ready.

"Uh-almost! Can.. can you have Hope come in here? I have lady issues?" What the hell Miriam? I did need her help if I'm being honest. I felt sick, I felt tired and I had nothing to wear for this event at the moment. His fading footsteps indicated he was to retrieve Hope.

Not a moment too soon the door opened to reveal Hope. Her face written in concern and worry before her nose scrunched up. The smell of vomit did surround the room and I rather have Hope in here than my father and Tanner. One of the things I miss.. running water. A toilet would be much better than vomiting out the window.

"Are you okay?" Was all she asked. Placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. With timid hesitance I nodded.

"...Yeah, totally."

She knew I wasn't.

"Tanner said you needed help with something. From the looks of it, you look terrible and can barely stand on your own two feet. I have some tea that can help with the fatigue, and my advice is that you shouldn't stay at the celebration for too long. An hour you can stay and then come back here right away. I also have something you can wear that I had stored away."

My awe turned into appreciation for Hope's help. I didn't have the chance to say thank you as she retreated out of the room only to return with clothes and tea that she heated up. Her hands gently took my shoulders and sat me on the squeaky mattress. Brushing my sweat soaked hair before using her delicate fingers to rub a cream into my hair. I felt like a child all over again being comforted by someone close to her.

"What is this?" The smell of the cream overwhelmed my nostrils. Honeysuckle and vanilla. Waiting for her answer I took a sip of the tea, warm against my throat. Slightly sweet but faint; root and dried fruit.

"It's a substance I bought at the market. Julia's father sells it and let me tell you this can do wonders to your hair after using it a few times." I chuckled before I took a few more sips. Sighing when the heat soothed my throat. Now rid of the bile taste I encountered earlier.

Hope's fingers had woven my hair into a braid. Loose and comfortable and not too tight. In the candlelight Hope picked up a red tank-top. From the light, darkness had shone on the crimson color. Dark enough to resemble blood. My breathing became harsh as I imagined my hands drenched in such a color. Bringing back the nightmares and memories and collision of red.

I didn't protest when she handed the tank-top to my direction. Without saying anything I stripped out of my other shirt and slipped into the tank-top. It felt foreign to wear something so new and so clean.

"Thank you" I said dryly, "For helping me out with.. everything."

"It's never a problem helping you Miriam... But.. if there is anything, anything at all bothering you. Please tell me. Even your father and brother." My fists clenched by the time she walked out. Guilt stabbed and clawed everywhere. I'm never going to tell them that I killed Carrie.

I shook my head as a headache soon took over. Rubbing my temple, I reached over for the pair of jeans Hope set on the mattress and stumbled into those one leg at a time. They were new, never worn. It felt weird to wear something new. What I really needed was new shoes. The ones I owned were stained and tearing apart almost. I'll worry about that tomorrow.

Upon walking out of the apartment I wore a gray sweater over the shirt. Mainly from the bitter cold biting at the nerves of my skin and to avoid the shirt I wore. The back of my mind burned at the thought of what I wore bled onto my skin years ago.

Other than the cruel chill of the night, everyone was bustling in excitement. Their shadows being welcomed was shown from the moonlit sky and faint lanterns. My mood quickly shifted to fullness. I want to have a good time tonight with Preacher. Make things easy between us and maybe someday.. I could give it a try? to love him.

The cold whispered to my veins before I took in the large crowd of people. Such an amount of survivors who are still alive manage to surprise me every second I'm here. I take a breath before hearing the musical laughter of children once again. One of them was the little girl who sold me the bracelet. Followed by another who shared the same blond hair that danced from the lanterns aura. Same blue eyes that held such purity in a way. The older girl's name was Leah from what I heard around the market. Her little sister has no idea of what its like to live in a world with no disease and no trials to face.

I turned on my heel towards the unfolded tables spread along those who stayed on the sidelines from the dancing. The sounds of people laughing and smiling so big affected me to have a smile slowly form on my face.

The assortment of foods made my mouth water in a heartbeat. Bowls of beans, noodles drenched in sauce, vegetables coated in butter from the few goats we have, rabbit legs, and squirrel meat. To be fair, making sure the meat that some of the scavengers hunted is hell to keep fresh. Thankfully we had the salt that was stored away a few years ago. Shortly after I filled up my plate I went straight to the pastries. Made especially by Julia's mother who keeps the sweets stored away and only brings them out once a year. Tarts with canned fruit melted in the center; sprinkled with powdered sugar and had actual sprinkles shining in a variety of colors.

"Didn't take you to have a sweet tooth Miri."

I look up. The soft voice coming from the man who stood just a few feet, the table separating us. How long has it been since we had an actual conversation? Too long.

For what seemed like seconds, I finally spoke, "Hey."

"Hey."

Before long I shook my head before setting down my plate. Mainly to make sure it didn't fall from my trembling hands. "Preacher I-look about what happened and all, I mean, shit-uh... I've been distant from you. I'm sorry about that and again from a month ago I-"

"Miriam stop. If talking about it makes you feel this uncomfortable we don't have to talk about it. Okay?"

His tone was assertive and gentle. I blew out a sigh of relief that he didn't want to discuss it. But in the forefront of my mind I knew that someday we're going to talk about eventually.

Enough of that. All I want is for us tonight to be close again. Things to be easy and pretend everything is normal. Starting now.

"Do you want to hang out for the rest of the night?" Please say yes. He smiled with understanding and placed his calloused hand in mine. "Just as friends?"

"Just as friends" were his confirmation. Good. I barely saw Preacher for many weeks. Security was his primary job here and it made sense for him to be constantly busy all the time. I kept myself busy to try and keep my mind off things. More supply runs, staying up late cleaning the mess hall, face painting the younger children, and working on assignments for school. I didn't mind it one bit. We both had all the time in the world to be around each other since that day. Instead I thought of numerous excuses to distant myself and keep busy.

"Have you read those files and listened to the audio recorders you found?" Preacher asked, I realized how quiet it had been awhile we strolled around the celebration.

"Not yet, been busy for the past few weeks." A long pause had sheltered between us. The gentle strum of a guitar had gathered many to the center as some began to slow dance; couples especially. I shifted my eyes along the civilians who attended the celebration. Yet my family were nowhere to be seen at the moment. Sitting back on the steps a new song begun to play. Old and withered the tune was. Deep down I knew the awkwardness would never leave my friend and I.

"Do you want to dance?" Preacher stood and took my inked hand into his. Unable to form a word of any sort, I nodded slightly. Putting my hands on Preacher's shoulders, he then placed his hands on the crook of my back. The contact instantly flashed the memory when our bodies were closer than this. Instead, I just listened to the strumming of the guitar played by some anonymous musician.

"You should play" I could feel a laugh bubbling up at his statement. Shaking my head, I clutched Preacher's shoulders, "I only know one song Preacher and that song is only for my family's ears to hear."

"Alright, alright seems reasonable enough" Preacher craned his neck. Then his dark eyes shifted to meet mine. "You've always wanted to go to a Founders Council meeting.. right?"

"I.. yes?"

"Would you like to see one right now?"

"What-are you serious Preacher? I mean we're friends and all, but you better be serious about this." My voice held eagerness and hope.

"Dead serious Miriam."

"Then let's go and sneak off." We both exchanged the same smile as Preacher led me through the crowd. All around us many paid no mind and remained entranced by the festivities that were to be celebrated throughout the whole night.

(A/N: This chapter was hell to write, but at the same time I enjoyed writing it! Next chapter Miriam is gonna start some mischievous shit with Preacher haha. I'll at least let my girl Miriam be happy and not suffering for once for a few chapters. Hope you guys enjoyed the new chapter!)