A/N: At long last! Hopefully the wait wasn't too unbearable. I tend to make a ton of little edits after publishing, so if you see a typo or awkward sentence hopefully I'll catch it. :)
Special thanks to the person who noticed my pairing tag disappeared and left a review - I probably wouldn't have noticed!
the state of dreaming - chapter three
Returning to McKinley High after their week in New York was a… shameful experience, to say the least. It was a like being given the taste of a dream before being violently wrenched back into the reality of being a high school student – in a Glee club that won twelfth – also known as, no one else cared. Miss Pillsbury set up a congratulations banner when they returned, which Rachel appreciated, but it made everything feel more poignant.
Nothing really changed when it came to school, in the end.
Rachel, however, found that the trip to New York changed her. She and Kurt had snuck onto the Wicked stage and sang together, and her values lined up with startling clarity.
Well – mostly clear, anyway. A particular blonde named Quinn Fabray didn't tend to make things clear. But she had invited her to come to her house this weekend and seeing as it was Wednesday – that would be two days away! She hadn't been to Quinn's house before.
This was monumental progress, in Rachel's opinion.
There was still something she had to take care of, before she could go to Quinn's on good conscience. Or, someone she had to talk to, because they hadn't really discussed what had happened at Nationals and Rachel had made a decision regarding their relationship standing and she was the type of girl who needed closure, and –
"Hey, Rach…"
Oh, speak of the devil.
She had been tucked away in the choir room for lunch hour, mostly to psyche herself up to approach Finn, but apparently, he had the same idea.
She smiled up at him as if her heart hadn't quickened in anxiety. "Yes, Finn?"
"I need to talk to you," he said, fidgeting his hands in his jean pockets. He looked as nervous as she felt. "If that's – good with you. You're not busy, right?" He kind of looked like he wanted her to be.
"No, no. I'm not busy at all." Her tongue peeked out to lick her dry lips. "Go ahead."
He sat down on a chair next to her, to Rachel's relief, because their height difference was even more apparent when Rachel was sitting, and he was standing. She brushed the skirt of her dress down while waiting for him to speak.
"So, I've gotta know… are you mad at me? For kissing you at Nationals?" He sighed heavily. "Everyone else is."
"No, Finn," she shook her head. She had considered this extensively, so the response came easy to her. "I'm not mad."
"Do you – do you regret it?"
Now, she took pause. Her stomach twisted as her dark brown eyes met his lighter ones. He was Finn – as genuine and worried about the feelings of others as a teenage boy could be, on his best days. He was Finn – but there was Quinn.
"No," she said slowly. Because she inadvertently led him on, because it made it extremely explicit where her feelings lie now, because she liked having closure. "I don't think so, but –"
But suddenly he was staring at her eagerly, clasping her smaller hands with his. "So… does this mean we can be together?"
He looked so hopeful that Rachel felt terrible when she pulled her hands away from his. "Let me finish, Finn." She took a deep breath, preparing the speech she had been running through her head again and again for days. "I've been dreaming of New York and Broadway ever since I was capable of dreaming. You know this – everyone does – and I… I may have let myself stray a little but being there in person made my perspective exceedingly clear."
His face was slowly falling, and Rachel swallowed hard.
"We graduate next year. As soon as that happens, I will be going to New York, and I don't want anything or – or anyone to distract me from that goal –" Guilt unfurled in her chest because that wasn't exactly true, not with Quinn around, but she didn't think that would go over well in this conversation, right now – "I just… I don't think a relationship is prudent for me right now."
Not with you, anyway, her guilty thoughts whispered.
She was pretty sure if Quinn ran in, right at this moment, and asked her out, she would have shouted yes very loudly. Okay, maybe not in front of Finn – but the point still stood.
Finn looked somewhere in between disbelief, sadness and anger. "Are you sure, Rach? There's an entire year left… you don't have any plans before then, do you?"
She couldn't stand to stare at him anymore, so she looked down. Part of her just wanted to confess – to say her heart was preoccupied with someone else, but she didn't think Quinn would appreciate being outed by association – they weren't even together, after all. She just shook her head again, her eyes slightly moist. "Finn…"
"What changed, Rachel? Me and you are meant to be – didn't you feel it, when I kissed you?" And while Finn was a genuine, caring teenage boy on his good days, he was also arrogantly stubborn at times.
Being kissed on a stage by the quarterback could somehow never compare to being kissed in an empty classroom by the ex-cheerleading captain, and that was when she knew for sure.
She reached out to rub his hands, gently, with her thumb. Her eyes implored him to understand. "I'm sorry, Finn."
This time, he was the one to pull his hands away as if burned, stiffly standing up with one last shake of his head. "I think you are mad at me," he muttered under his breath, and Rachel wanted to sigh tiredly when she watched him storm off. Finn wasn't really the type to take things in stride instantly, so she supposed that went as well as it could.
She dragged her hands over her face. Everything was exhausting as of late – losing Nationals, figuring out her feelings, hurting Finn, and – to top it all off, she didn't even know if Quinn would even want to be in an actual relationship.
The thought of rejection made her chest tighten; they really did have much to talk about this weekend.
The next day, she couldn't be that surprised when Kurt found her beside her locker in the morning, full of questions.
"So," he started casually, "is there anything you'd like to tell your very best friend?"
She adjusted the books she was carrying, regarding the boy. "If you're implying what I think you are, then – with respect to the other involved party – no."
"Please, Rachel," he smiled with an amused shake of his head. "You think I don't know? I live with Finn. He isn't exactly subtle about being upset."
Rachel couldn't help wincing. "It's bad, then?"
"Oh, not terrible, by Finn's standards. He might've been stabbing his poor mashed potatoes a little roughly when we ate dinner, but he didn't kick anything. So, you know. He's controlling himself pretty well."
Rachel gave a tiny smile at that. "I'm sure you asked him about it. Didn't he fill you in?"
"I did, but I have a feeling his account might've been a tad… biased. He said you were mad at him over the whole Nationals debacle, but you just wouldn't admit it."
It would feel a lot less like gossiping if Kurt already knew, so this was a relief, because it was killing her to keep it inside. She would've talked about it with Quinn, but – well, she was waiting until the weekend, where they could talk properly.
Rachel sighed. "I was trying to let him down gently, but – I think he still thinks I'm in love with him."
"And you're not?" Kurt looked eagerly at her like he was more invested in her answer than he should be.
"Um… no," she said, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Oh, nothing!" He waved her off, his voice pitched high and innocent as he leaned closer. "So – tell me more. I want details, missy."
But the bell rang and students were hastily making their way through the hallway, so Rachel shook her head with a small laugh. "Can this wait until lunch, Kurt? We have a class to get to."
"Saved by the bell," he singsonged quietly.
She didn't expect to be let off the hook, because Kurt would never let any remotely juicy news go without trying to extract it. It was win-win for her anyway, because she got to vent meanwhile.
Not too long after she sat down at her usual table in the cafeteria, picking at her food, Kurt plunked down in the seat directly across from her. Mercedes and Sam were the only other ones at their table so far, and they were enraptured in some very engrossing topic that Rachel didn't care to partake in.
She had noted Finn sat at a different table with Puck and other guys from the football team, refusing to meet her eyes.
"Okay, girl – spill," Kurt said in a low voice, and she appreciated that he wasn't being completely conspicuous.
"I don't know what else you want to know," Rachel said with a nervous lilt. "Being in New York made me – remember what I wanted, I guess. It's where I'm meant to be."
"Me too," Kurt agreed.
"And, well… I can't really picture Finn there with me. Not like I used to. Besides, we only have a year left of school, and it's so close in a way that's entirely frightening and exhilarating all at once." She let out a small, shaky laugh. "I won't let anything stop me from reaching my goals; being anchored to Lima is the last thing I want for myself. And…"
"And?"
She ran a hand through her hair, lowering her voice to nearly a whisper. "I-I think I like someone else. Do not ask who, because I'm not telling."
Kurt had a mysterious smile on his face, not too different from the look he sported when he and Quinn reconciled not too long ago. It made Rachel feel like she wasn't privy to a shared secret. She was about to ask when Kurt spoke up first.
"It doesn't happen to start with 'Q' and rhyme with 'Finn', does it?"
The only thing stopping her from flailing around in panic was the fact that they got interrupted.
"Wow. You two certainly don't look suspicious or anything," Quinn said, sounding amused when she slid into an empty chair next to Rachel. She shared a friendly wave with Sam and Mercedes before turning her attention back to Kurt and Rachel.
"Oh, hi, Quinn! Nice to see you!" Rachel said in way that was a little too friendly and forced, because how was she supposed to act natural after Kurt's insinuation? "We definitely weren't talking about you, or anything."
"We weren't," Kurt shot Rachel a dirty look as if to say let me handle this.
"Okay?" Quinn said doubtfully, her eyes flicking over Rachel's. She smiled tremulously in return. "Then what were you talking about?"
"My dearest step-brother, actually," Kurt replied. Rachel bit her lip, because now she'd have to get into it –
"Oh," Quinn said, as if that made perfect sense, and her gaze drifted towards the table that Finn was sitting at. "So, there's a reason he's been looking like a lost puppy?"
She sounded conversational, like she didn't care that much. But there was a certain edge to Quinn's voice – so small it could be easily missed, if you weren't Rachel, hyperaware of Quinn's reactions.
"Ah, so you've noticed?" Kurt smiled at her.
"It doesn't take a genius to notice. I mean, Finn isn't exactly what I'd call… low-key." Quinn and Kurt shared a laugh, and Rachel was a little flummoxed. She was happy they made nice after whatever happened between them – neither of them offered much detail, which was normal for Quinn but not so much for Kurt – but evidently it was something that made them closer.
Maybe she could ask Quinn about it this weekend. She had a feeling that was the only reason Kurt was tight-lipped on the subject.
"Anyway, Miss Berry here apparently rejected his advances," Kurt continued, placing his chin on his hands as he leaned over the table slightly.
Quinn's brow furrowed, just a little. "Did she?" She turned to look at Rachel with interest, who was now fiddling with her hands. "When? You never told me."
"I was going to," Rachel mumbled. "Later. It only happened yesterday."
Quinn tried to look impartial, but there was a hopeful glimmer in her greenish-gold eyes. She reached between them to carefully hold Rachel's hand, and Rachel offered her a shy smile in response. Quinn returned it and Rachel's heart skipped a beat.
"Okay," Quinn said, licking her lips. "I believe you."
Kurt looked between them thoughtfully, in a way that made Rachel nervous about Quinn's reaction. He had to have known there was something happening between them. She wondered if she should pull her hand away.
But Quinn remained relaxed and eased into a new topic of conversation with her and Kurt, and Rachel was more than content to leave their fingers intertwined under the table if Quinn was.
By the time Friday evening rolled around, Rachel was buzzing with nerves and excitement. She was in the living room, pacing around as she waited; Quinn wanted to pick her up, so she had to wait for the blonde to arrive. Her dads weren't even home to distract her, as they went out for date night.
She kind of felt like she was going out on a date, herself. She had perused her closet for nearly an hour trying to find a suitable outfit and ended up choosing a simple skirt and blouse combo, along with a headband.
Of course, they weren't dating or anything, but somehow meeting Quinn's mom felt like a test she had to pass – she was normally the type that adults liked, so she didn't know why she was stressing over it this much. She just knew she didn't want Quinn to regret inviting her over.
Rachel was contemplating brushing her teeth again when the doorbell rang.
She was at the door in record time, nearly tripping in her haste to open it. She was only a little breathless when she smiled Quinn, standing outside her door.
"Hello," Quinn said, politely, which made Rachel grin.
"You didn't have to come to the door," Rachel commented while reaching over to grab the overnight bag that she left in the foyer. "You could've texted me."
"I did," Quinn said. "After you didn't reply within two minutes I figured you must've been distracted."
"Did you?" One look at her phone indicated that yes, she did. She was so busy pacing and thinking that she missed it, somehow. "Oops. So you did. I've been diligently waiting for your arrival, I swear."
"Mhm," Quinn smiled at her. "You were quick to answer the door, at least. You know I hate to be kept waiting."
"Oh, yes. I wouldn't dare keep the great Quinn Fabray waiting."
They laughed before making their way to the Berry driveway where Quinn's car was running idle. Quinn opened the passenger door for Rachel, making a chivalrous gesture that made Rachel think of prom night. She giggled as she entered the car, Quinn shutting the door behind her and then entering the driver's side.
She admired Quinn's profile for a moment while she watched the girl switch gears, backing up with a focused furrow to her brows. It was cute.
"You didn't have to get changed just to come to my house," Quinn said a little while later, when they were turning off her street.
"Oh, this?" Rachel shook her head lightly. "It was no big deal. I just thought, maybe, your mom might like something a step up from casual."
Quinn herself was in a pretty yellow dress and a jean jacket that she had been wearing at school, which may have been casual, but Quinn could make anything look good. It's not fair, really, Rachel pouted inwardly.
"Don't worry about what my mom thinks," Quinn wrinkled her nose that Rachel could only vaguely see in the dimming outside light. "Been there, done that."
"I know you don't have the greatest relationship or anything, but I intend on making my best impression regardless. I'm very good with parents, I'll have you know." Rachel smiled with her teeth as if rehearsing for the real deal. Quinn looked over at her for a moment and huffed out a laugh at the sight.
"I'm not worried about you making a good impression, Rachel. I'm worried about her. I'm sorry in advance if she says anything… weird."
"Like what? I think I can handle it."
"I don't know," Quinn blew out a breath, betraying the fact that she was more stressed about this than she was letting on. "We'll just try to keep it short and sweet, okay? I'd prefer if we just said our 'hellos' and scurried off to my room, but she's been in the kitchen for the past few hours preparing some fancy supper, so I guess we'll have to do that."
"That sounds nice, Quinn," Rachel felt the need to defend her mom. Quinn didn't particularly like to discuss her parents with her – or anyone, she was sure – but being friends, she did know enough about their relationship to know Judy Fabray was far from perfect, but she was trying, at the very least. She paused for a moment. "Um, she knows I'm vegan, right?"
"Yeah," Quinn let out a breathless, short laugh as she made a left turn. Rachel was trying to memorize the path as they drove. "If I didn't, she definitely would've made turkey or something and then kill me for not better informing her of our guest's… preferences."
Rachel couldn't resist making a small huff. "It's not just preference, Quinn, I thought you knew that. While yes – at its basest form – veganism is about your diet, but it's also a philosophy –"
"I know, Rachel!" Quinn was suddenly exasperated, shooting a glare at Rachel for only a moment before focusing on driving. "Now I'm a little worried. You can give me a one-hour long presentation about the merits of veganism after supper, okay? As long as you don't subject my mom to it." She ran a hand through her shortened locks, shaking her head.
Rachel just blinked at her, taken aback.
It didn't take long for Quinn to feel remorseful. She touched Rachel's shoulder briefly with a wrinkled brow. "Sorry," she mumbled. "I'm just… stressed. I shouldn't be taking it out on you."
Rachel leaned over to squeeze her thigh reassuringly until she received a reluctant smile from the blonde, who was staring at the road ahead. "There's nothing to worry about," Rachel soothed. "I can even pretend to be mute, if you'd like. I can add it to my extensive acting repertoire."
"That's a little…" Quinn made a face like she was stifling a laugh. "No, Rachel. First, she would definitely wonder why I neglected to mention my friend being mute. Second, I'm trying to make this as least awkward as possible."
"Okay, Rachel Berry with a word limit it is." She was only teasing, but Quinn seemed to take it to heart.
"Just be yourself," Quinn said quietly. "I like you that way. You shouldn't change even if someone tries to make you."
"Even if it's you half-panicking about me meeting your mom?"
"Especially if it's me half-panicking about you meeting my mom."
After exchanging tentative smiles, the conversation died down after that. It didn't take too long before they were pulling into the Fabray driveway. Rachel scanned the house with interest – it looked about as nice as she'd expect, with a double garage and all. The outside was well maintained, and she was sure the inside would look similar.
When she was finished admiring her surroundings, Rachel turned to see Quinn staring off into space, seemingly lost in thought. Rachel reached over to squeeze her hand. "Well, aren't you going to show me inside?"
"Yeah," Quinn blinked back into focus. She bit her lip before exiting the vehicle, and Rachel followed. Quinn stopped beside her. "I'm sorry for being so snappy about this," she apologized with a frown that was very nearly a pout. Rachel was charmed.
"Everything's going to be fine, Quinn." She linked her elbow around Quinn's, coaxing a smile out of the blonde. "We'll have a nice dinner with your mom and then you can show me your room, okay? All enjoyable activities."
"If you say so," Quinn finally laughed, more relaxed this time, and she pulled Rachel along to her front door. Quinn hesitated before pulling her arm away from Rachel, but it was understandable, so the brunette said nothing.
The Fabray household was everything Rachel expected but also not, at first glance. It was pristine and nicely decorated in the stereotypical white-suburban-house kind of way, but it wasn't sterile or anything – maybe the smell of cooking food helped warm the atmosphere.
"Oh, Quinnie! You're back already?" A voice that Rachel could only assume was Judy Fabray's came from the kitchen. Hasty footsteps approached, and then she was in the foyer. Rachel had seen her, once or twice, but never actual met her. The relation between her and Quinn was obvious, although she was a little more wrinkled and older in appearance. Rachel smiled nervously, looking towards Quinn.
"Yeah, Rachel's always pretty well prepared, so…" Quinn trailed off, before smiling, somewhat awkwardly. "Um, that being said – mom, this is Rachel. Rachel, this is, uh… my mom." She made vague hand gestures towards them as she introduced them.
Rachel almost giggled at that, but she didn't want to put Quinn further on edge. Instead, she smiled politely and extended her hand towards Judy. "It's nice to meet you, Ms. Fabray."
"It's nice to meet you too, dear," Judy returned, accepting the handshake. "And call me Judy – Ms. Fabray just makes me feel old."
"Okay… Judy it is." The name felt foreign to say, but – if that's what she wanted. Quinn was watching the two of them interact intently, and Rachel felt a little hot under her scrutiny.
"Well, I'm glad you came here, finally. Quinn talks about you a lot," she said warmly.
"Does she?" Rachel looked over casually at the same time Quinn groaned "Mom," with a faint blush.
Judy was unperturbed, however. "Quinnie, why don't you show her to your room? Supper will be ready in around ten minutes."
Quinn looked more than ready to do just that, so with a tiny wave Rachel let herself be guided up the stairs and down a hallway. Family photos adorned the halls – and well, the term picture perfect was appropriate, here.
Then, at the end of the hall, they entered Quinn's room and Rachel couldn't help but take the time to marvel. It felt like a tiny victory. Although, the bedroom itself wasn't quite so telling of the person living inside it as her own room was.
"So. This is my room," Quinn declared and sounded a lot more comfortable already. She reached for Rachel's bag and Rachel handed it to her. "We can just put it on my bed for now, okay?"
"Sure," Rachel said absently, still taking the time to look around. Hey, wait… "Where's the painting of Jesus?"
"What?" Quinn gave her a look. "What makes you think I'd have one?"
"Um, word of mouth? I need better sources, apparently." Rachel shrugged loosely. "So, you never did?"
"Who even mentions that?" Quinn pinched her nose, like she wasn't sure she was amused or exasperated. "Okay, so, I did in like… sophomore year, but that's a weird thing for you to even remember."
Rachel smiled, because Quinn was finally relaxing. "Well, I remembered because I was a little curious how ethnically accurate it was, but I suppose that my curiosity will never get assuaged."
Quinn gave her the strangest look and Rachel nearly burst into laughter. "You are so…" Quinn stopped with a scoff, shaking her head.
Rachel plopped down on the edge of the bed like she belonged there, her smile widening. "I'm so what?"
Quinn made her way over to the bed, shoving Rachel by the shoulder playfully as she sat down right beside her. "Insufferable."
"I think you like that about me," Rachel batted her eyelashes, and it was the closest thing to blatant flirting that she had done with Quinn, which made her nervous and excited all at once.
It was a little satisfying to watch Quinn flush slightly – and there was no immediate denial, so that was a win in Rachel's eyes.
Quinn squinted, pursing her lips. "Hmm. That's awfully presumptuous of you." The tone was teasing and low and it made Rachel's stomach twist with nerves and intrigue, but she was keenly aware they had a time limit before they had to behave – although Rachel would've loved to push continuing this to the front of her schedule.
Like the responsible girl she was, she leaned away and changed the subject. "Anyway, um… I'm really happy you invited me here, Quinn."
"I'm glad you're here," Quinn whispered, her eyes so intently on Rachel's that it almost drew Rachel in again.
But the time limit made itself known when a knock on the door made Quinn jump away, anxiety making her stiffen immediately. "Supper's ready, girls!" Judy called from outside.
For a moment, it almost seemed as if…
Rachel wished they hadn't been interrupted.
She helped Quinn set the table and before long all three of them were seated at the table eating something Judy proudly called Creamy Butternut Squash Linguine alongside Fried Sage and Spiced Vegan Lentil Soup, which Rachel suspected she had found on Pinterest or something, but she appreciated it all the same.
"This looks delicious, Judy," Rachel commented kindly. Presentation was undoubtedly a strong suite of hers.
"Well, thank you, dear," Judy beamed, and Rachel could see Quinn looking slightly proud in the corner of her eye. "Go ahead and dig in."
She didn't have to ask twice. Rachel's stomach grumbled hungrily as she picked up a spoon, tasting the soup. It was as tasty as it looked, and she smiled approvingly when Judy caught her eye.
A little while later, when they all had taken a few bites, Quinn spoke up, too. "This is really good, mom."
"You girls certainly know how to butter a woman up," Judy laughed. It was apparent to Rachel that Quinn didn't tend to compliment her mother that often; she was happy to see them getting along.
But the peace was too good to last.
"So, when did you two become such good friends?" Judy asked, and it was such an innocent question Rachel nearly smiled.
"Well – we've been in Glee together since sophomore year, but we weren't really… um, we were tentative acquaintances, I guess?" Rachel winced in the middle of her explanation, and Quinn was staring at her pointedly. Rachel got the message – 'don't say anything that'll raise more questions'. "Um, we kind of became friends that year but… this year we got a lot closer."
"You must be," Judy commented. "Quinn doesn't tend to like sleepovers all that much; she likes her privacy."
Rachel smiled as Quinn made a noise of disapproval. "It wasn't really planned at first. I just kind of… spontaneously invited her on prom night the first time, and it became a –" Rachel turned to Quinn for help.
"A thing?" Quinn supplied easily enough. Rachel's chest fluttered only a little.
"Oh," Judy's face changed, sympathetically regarding her daughter. "I'm so glad you were there to comfort Quinn. She was so excited to win prom queen, and Finn was looking so handsome that night… I can't believe they didn't win."
"Mom," Quinn rolled her eyes. "I told you – I'm over it."
Judy didn't seem to read the annoyance in Quinn's tone. "Speaking of… I still can't believe that boy broke up with you. You two looked good together."
Rachel anxiously watched Quinn, fidgeting a little under the table. This didn't seem to be going in a good direction.
"It doesn't matter how good we looked together," Quinn said evenly, although her brows were knitted together. "It's history."
"You're right, Quinnie. I'm sure you'll have a new boyfriend in no time; you must have hundreds of boys falling at your feet."
Rachel was pretty sure Quinn's mom meant it in the kindest way possible, but – well. The repetition of boys was hard to miss.
Quinn, evidently, felt the same because her lips twitched. "I don't…" Quinn's frown deepened, and she shook her head. "I don't care, mom. Can we please change the subject?"
"Sorry, dear," Judy said apologetically. She said it in a way that implied sorry; your heart must still be broken more than sorry; I didn't know you had no interest in dating.
'Sorry; I didn't know that you might be kind of into girls' was nowhere near crossing Judy's mind, Rachel was certain. To be fair, if Quinn hadn't kissed her – twice! – she wouldn't have really believed Quinn to be anything but primly heterosexual.
It didn't take long for Rachel to finish up her meal, and she was desperate to relieve some of the tension that lingered. "I must say – for someone who doesn't usually cook vegan meals, that was amazing, Judy."
Judy smiled once again, easing into a conversation with Rachel, but it was hard to miss Quinn glowering for the rest of supper.
They were back in Quinn's room sooner rather than later. They had helped do the dishes and wipe the table, but as soon as they finished Quinn was quick to pull Rachel upstairs.
Rachel looked on with a worried frown when the blonde stalked around the room, like she couldn't decide what she wanted to do, until she finally just sat down on her bed with a sigh. Rachel hazarded a few steps closer, unsure if she should follow.
"You can sit down, you know," Quinn said, amused, though her voice sounded a little hollow to Rachel's ears.
Rachel did. It was uncomfortable to have a conversation – or, not have a conversation – standing around. She was careful not to sit too close. "Are you okay?" It felt needless to ask, but what else could she say?
"I'm fine," Quinn let out a long huff of air after she said it. "It's just… ugh. Sorry for making everything awkward. I just wanted you to… have a good time, but I knew something was going to go wrong."
"Quinn," Rachel laughed softly, reaching to pat her hand when the blonde gave her a pout at the reaction. "You don't have to orchestrate a perfect sleepover. I am having a good time. Okay, yes, dinner was a little awkward," she conceded, "but it wasn't your fault and – well… not really your mother's, either. I don't know. She's trying."
Quinn sucked in her teeth like she wanted to protest. "I guess."
She was losing some of the tension in her body, but Rachel could tell she was still bothered. She leaned over with a tilt of her head, attempting to catch Quinn's eye. "Why do you let her get to you like that?"
"She's my mom," Quinn explained like it was the simplest answer in the world, closing her eyes. Rachel suspected there was more she wanted to say, so stayed silent. "I was raised with perfection in mind; there was always pressure to be the best at everything. My dad was a successful businessman, and my mom was the ideal wife and their kids had to be – perfect."
Rachel had always wondered what kind of parents could throw their own child out, and she supposed it all made sense, why Quinn was the way she was. She frowned on Quinn's behalf. "That's…"
But Quinn wasn't finished. "Anyway, perfection is nothing but a sham – I got pregnant, and my parents got divorced. I'm not even the head cheerleader anymore. I've made… so many mistakes." She was looking at the ground and it made Rachel's heart twist in sympathy. "I'm done trying to be something I'm not."
"You're better than perfect," Rachel said quietly. "You're human. With all the little idiosyncrasies and emotions that come with that."
The corners of Quinn's lip twitched upwards, and her eyes never looked warmer and vulnerable when she finally met Rachel's. Quinn Fabray trusted her, Rachel realized with a startling pang of emotion that set her heart racing.
"I'm going to hug you now, okay?" Rachel announced before reaching out to the blonde, wrapping her arms around the taller girl with a smile. Quinn giggled softly into her ear and Rachel could feel herself falling in love with the sound. "What's so funny?"
"I thought we were past the point where you had to declare that," Quinn smiled, rubbing a spot on Rachel's back that made her spine tingle. She would never get tired of being near Quinn.
"Well," Rachel replied coyly, forcing herself to pull away even though she wanted to stay in the embrace. "I thought you'd appreciate the warning this time around. I know you don't like to be ambushed."
"Do you?" Quinn's eyes flickered down to pink lips, and Rachel swallowed. She wasn't expecting this.
"Hmm," Rachel pretended to think as Quinn narrowed her eyes playfully. "Only by cute blondes."
"So, Sam, then?"
"Yes. You caught me. I definitely have Sam on my mind right now."
Quinn snorted in a way that was so inelegant that it amused Rachel to no end. She brightened, happy to see that the mood had significantly lightened. Okay, maybe she wished Quinn would follow through with what she was playing at, but she couldn't be mad when they were flirting. In Quinn's bed!
Her disappointment was briefly washed away when Quinn's lips found their way to her cheek before the blonde pulled away with a grin. She couldn't help but pout.
"What?" Quinn asked innocently.
"While I'm not complaining," Rachel began with a frown. "I can't help feeling that was a step back. I believe you were doing a nice thing where each kiss in succession was getting a little longer, so this third one should have been at least twenty-three minutes, by my calculations. Also, on the lips."
"Is that so?" Quinn laughed. Rachel nodded decisively. "I thought you wanted to talk."
"I do." Rachel was very close to ignore talking in favor of kissing, and she loved talking. The teenage part of her brain won out. "Maybe we could kiss a little first, before talking," she said, very irresponsibly.
Quinn's lips pressed together with a hum. "I don't think there'll be much talking going on if that happens." Her eyes were smoldering when she glanced at Rachel, and the brunette felt warm.
"You're right," Rachel conceded with a disappointed sigh.
"Since when am I the responsible one?" Quinn smirked before getting off the bed and making her way to lock her door. She sat back on the edge of the bed, grabbing the remote and switching her television on. "What do you want to watch?"
"Do you have a DVD stash somewhere?" Rachel looked around, but there weren't any in plain sight.
"I have some. Maybe not as many as you, but I have a normal people amount," Quinn teased, and Rachel smiled slowly. She might have refuted this if it were any other time.
"You can go ahead and choose," she murmured distractedly, suddenly nervous thinking of all the questions she'd finally get to ask. She wanted this for weeks, yet she was still somewhat fearful.
"Okay," Quinn glanced back at her, once, before hopping off the bed before digging around for DVDs in the cabinet under the television.
They got into their pajamas and did their nightly routines before settling comfortably into the bed and starting the movie – Rachel may or may not have eyed Quinn's legs a little, since she chose to wear shorts and it was awfully distracting. Thankfully they went under the covers by the time the movie started.
"So," Rachel started casually, "Is there any particular reason we're watching Mean Girls?"
"Nope," Quinn replied simply.
"Is this where you found your inspiration for your… characterization, in sophomore year?"
"No," Quinn laughed, now, but she also had an expression that betrayed that she didn't find it all that funny. "Are you comparing me to Regina George?"
"Well, maybe pre-character development," Rachel offered.
Quinn wrinkled her nose in response. "I'm not a character, Rachel." Hazel eyes looked in her direction, and Quinn leaned over to bump her shoulder against Rachel's. "Anyway," she murmured lowly. "The movie's not important. We're supposed to be talking, aren't we?"
Rachel bit down on her bottom lip nervously. "Right now?"
"Is Rachel Berry getting stage fright?" Quinn smiled slightly, grabbing Rachel's hand and placing it in her lap over the blanket. Her fingers glided over the top gently. "I mean – we don't have to, if you don't want to." Quinn licked her lips, and while it was better concealed it was apparent that she was nervous, too. "But I just want you to know that I'm, um, ready to be honest."
She was a lot of things, but she wasn't a coward. So, with a deep breath, Rachel started talking. "Okay. Okay. Questions – I have them." Quinn looked thoroughly tickled by her babbling, but she let her continue without making a comment. "Well, first of all, I just wanted to say that um – I was very surprised to be kissed by you – thrice, if we count that one on the cheek – so, seeing as this confuses me the most, we should start there."
"What about them?" Quinn clearly couldn't resist being somewhat cheeky about this. She's pretty good at making you work for answers, Rachel thought begrudgingly.
"Well – I guess I asked you why, once, but the answer doesn't really hold now that you've kissed me with seemingly no other motive, so… why did you kiss me? Do you," Rachel hesitated before pushing forward, "Do you… like me?"
Quinn blinked, a few times, before smiling tremulously. "Um – wow, you sure you don't want to start with something easier?"
Rachel almost responded, but apparently it was only a quip, because Quinn was pursing her lips in thought. She let the comfortable silence fill the space between them, until the blonde was ready to answer.
"Yeah," Quinn admitted so quietly Rachel had to strain her ears to hear. She ducked her head shyly, not meeting Rachel's eyes anymore. "I like you."
Rachel's chest fluttered so pleasantly at the confession, and she leaned over to rest her head on Quinn's shoulder. Quinn glanced down at her, and Rachel smiled up at her. "Really?"
"This isn't exactly something I'd lie about, Rachel," Quinn replied, her voice slightly strained.
"I know," Rachel said soothingly, reaching down to play with Quinn's hand this time. "It's just… kind of hard to believe."
"Believe me, no one thought that more than me."
Rachel thought it sounded a little sad when she said it, so she squeezed Quinn's hand. "For how long?"
"I…" Quinn furrowed her brows, contemplative. "I really don't know. It was just like, one day, I kind of realized. And then, um, other things made sense. So… for awhile," Quinn said vaguely.
Rachel took a few seconds to process, digesting this information easily enough, but then her brows nearly climbed to her forehead when she realized the implications. "Wait – even when you were still with Finn?"
"Rachel – I kissed you when I was still with Finn, how is that surprising?" She sounded a little defensive, but Rachel was pretty sure it had more to do with nerves than actually being mad – she hoped.
"Well, clearly I knew that there was – something amiss in your relationship come prom night, but – like… what about… before that?" Her mind flickered to confrontations and hurt feelings beside a piano.
It was easy to know when Quinn realized what she was alluding to, because regret and discomfort swam in her eyes. "That was…" She took her bottom lip into her mouth, pausing. "You've always been too good for Finn. Whether I liked you or not."
To anyone else, maybe that wouldn't have been an answer, but to Rachel – that was an admission if any. Suddenly she felt like she'd have to recontextualize every interaction they've had in the past months, but that was a problem for another day.
"And you aren't too good for him?"
Quinn shrugged dismissively. "I don't know."
Rachel didn't always understand Quinn's methods, but she was slowly gaining a better idea of what made her tick.
She could probably ask questions about this all night because Quinn Fabray liked her! She wanted to know everything that possibly could have led to such a thing. The when, the what, the how. But she knew Quinn better now, and while Quinn was opening up to her, she would surely hate to be battered with endless questions on such a delicate topic.
"Is it my turn, now?" Quinn asked a moment later, looking at Rachel like she couldn't wait to talk about something else.
She hadn't really considered that Quinn had her own questions, but… "It's only fair," she replied, still dazed at Quinn's admission.
"So… what happened with you and Finn?" Quinn asked, pointedly. There was the barest glimmer of hope in her eyes.
"Well, you know what happened at Nationals…" Rachel trailed off.
"Yeah," Quinn scowled, and Rachel had the faintest urge to kiss the pout off Quinn's face. But – talking. Yes, that was important.
"He, um, wanted to get back together. I was trying to let him down without being too harsh, but I don't think I really – got through to him."
"Why didn't you say yes?"
Rachel was sure she had the most incredulous expression on her face right now. "Are you really asking me that? Surely you know by now that my romantic feelings have been… diverted."
"I need to hear it," Quinn said softly, and it was clear to Rachel that despite Quinn being way better at hiding her insecurities than herself – she was still just a girl, underneath it all. Affection bloomed in her chest.
She moved over to sit in front of Quinn, reaching over with both of her hands to squeeze Quinn's paler ones. "Quinn," Rachel murmured, trying to get the blonde to meet her eyes. Quinn looked at her reluctantly. "I like you too. Okay?"
Quinn lips twitched like she was barely containing a huge smile. Instead, she tempered it and furrowed her brow. "You're sure? This isn't like… a Mr. Schue kind of crush, is it?"
Rachel frowned, pulling her hands away and shaking her head emphatically. "No! I admit, I can get carried away sometimes, but I'm – I'm positive about feelings for you," she declared. "Once I got over the surprise, it wasn't really hard to… um, realize I kind of really liked when you kissed me. Like, really liked it, so…"
Pink dusted over Quinn's cheeks, and she glanced away in embarrassment. "Okay," she squeaked. "Nevermind. I believe you."
"I didn't take you to be so bashful about this stuff," Rachel smiled, though she was blushing too.
"I mean –" Quinn licked her lips, eyes back on Rachel. "This is new to me. Okay? You're not just some… teenage boy. I'm used to that."
"Well, so am I," Rachel said, suddenly nervous.
"Doesn't it scare you?" Quinn asked, absently stroking a finger over the top of Rachel's hand. Rachel almost smiled at the tenderness.
"Yes," Rachel admitted, because it did, somewhat. "But I'm not the type to run away from things that frighten me."
"That makes one of us," Quinn shrugged her shoulders, her tone a little self-deprecating. A moment later, she flopped down on the bed, stretching her legs over Rachel's lap because they had no other place to go. Rachel giggled as she lightly patted the blonde's thigh.
"What are you doing?" Rachel asked, because they'd been doing an awful lot of talking and she was still kind of reeling from the revelations, and maybe this was an indication Quinn was done.
"Laying down," Quinn deadpanned, before smiling up at her coyly. "It gets a little tiring sitting up and having a huge conversation – maybe not for you, but I don't tend to talk this much – and…"
"And?" She was lightly rubbing Quinn's thighs at this point, paying more attention to the blonde than what her own hands were doing.
"Get down here, you dork," Quinn demanded, swatting Rachel's hands away. "And stop trying to reach third base when we've barely touched first."
"I was not –" Rachel protested, but was interrupted when Quinn suddenly sat up and pulled Rachel back down with her. She couldn't help laughing when their bodies collided a little roughly while landing on the bed. "Have you heard of asking nicely?" Rachel asked sharply, disentangling her body from Quinn's so she could face her sideways.
"I did ask nicely," Quinn smiled, all white teeth and mischievousness.
"I hardly think calling me a dork constitutes as nice, Qu –" She was interrupted yet again when Quinn's finger press against her mouth, shushing her. Rachel's brows knitted together to show her displeasure.
"As much as I'd love to hear your indignant speech," Quinn began, batting her eyelashes in a way that made Rachel's stomach twist pleasantly. "Don't think you think we could be doing something more fun with our mouths?"
Rachel flushed. Was this what whiplash felt like? One moment Quinn was timid and shy, and the next she suddenly got all controlling and – and seductive, and Rachel was flummoxed. Quinn's finger fell away as she smiled slowly at Rachel's reaction.
"Is that a yes?"
Rachel nodded, making a zipping motion over her mouth, and Quinn laughed as she leaned over, her face close to Rachel's. "Now this is new," she teased.
"You'll find I'm getting better at compromise," Rachel countered, enjoying the effortless banter.
"Noted," Quinn whispered, finally closing the distance between their lips.
They kissed softly for awhile, side by side. Quinn kissed her like they had all the time in the world, and it made her heart blossom with warmth. They took their time learning what the other liked.
It felt like a first real kiss – while the one they shared in the classroom was certainly nice, Quinn had kissed her with a certain urgency and the unexpectedness made Rachel kiss more hesitantly than she normally would.
But this time – Rachel would be content to kiss like this for hours, probably.
Quinn seemed to have other ideas, because eventually she pulled away. Rachel offered a shy smile, watching the blonde – she didn't really want to stop, not really, but if Quinn wanted to…
Before she could say anything, Quinn rolled over, and suddenly she was hovering over Rachel, her hands splayed on either side of the brunette. Wide brown eyes blinked up at the girl above her, trying to steady her breathing. Quinn was gazing down at her with a half-lidded, almost lazy smile and it made Rachel's pulse quicken.
"Is this okay?" Quinn asked carefully, her relaxed demeanor melting into caution. Rachel felt more than saw her fingers flexing into the mattress on either side of her, like she was ready to pull away at a single word.
Rachel appreciated it, although she found it entirely unnecessary. "Yeah," she said quickly, and she was sure her excitement might've spilled into her voice, a little bit, because Quinn had a cocky grin on her face as she leaned down again.
And she wasn't really prepared for it, when her hands instinctively found their way to Quinn's back, and the taller girl lowered herself onto her elbows, so their chests were touching, and she ended up making a soft noise against Quinn's mouth when their lips slid together.
"God," Quinn breathed in response, and then there was a pink tongue sliding against Rachel's bottom lip. She shivered at the sensation and felt Quinn smiling. "You're so…" she started, but then stopped when her mouth found its way to Rachel's again and again, tugging lightly into her bottom lip.
"I'm so – what?" Rachel asked between kisses, a little breathlessly, and she was sure her cheeks were positively flushed and she was glowing with so many feelings but she was still a curious creature at heart.
Quinn just raised a hand to brush the hair away from Rachel's face, nosing her cheek softly in a way that made her smile. Instead of answering, she kissed her, again, biting at Rachel's lip in a way that surprised her into opening her mouth to gasp, but the sound kind of faded in her throat when a warm tongue touched hers.
She was notably distracted after that. And she had made out plenty times before – with Finn, a little, Jessie, sometimes, even Puck – that one time. But something about the way Quinn moved and used her lips and just looked and sounded was appealing in a whole new way.
Rachel's hands had made their way into Quinn's hair, while she was doing particularly interesting things with her tongue, but eventually she pulled away with one last sweet, closed-mouth kiss so they could catch their breath. Rachel noticed, a little smugly, that she was quicker to recover. She took advantage of that.
"Hey," she said, high-pitched and casual as if she wasn't currently underneath an equally flushed blonde. "That wasn't an answer."
Quinn laughed – out of breath and amused. "You're still – concerned about that?"
"Of course I am," Rachel raised a brow, running her hand down Quinn's back idly. "I take any compliments – or critiques – very seriously."
"It was definitely a critique," Quinn said airily, leaning down to kiss Rachel again. Rachel moved her hand to block it with a pout, making Quinn narrow her eyes. "What?"
"Let me hear it, then," Rachel requested, smiling a moment later as she rubbed Quinn's bottom lip gently.
Quinn pressed her tongue against the inside of her cheek, and normally Rachel would find the action amusing but now she felt herself eyeing up the slight bulge with barely disguised interest. "Fine," Quinn muttered, petulant. "I was going to say you're – adorable, or something, but I wasn't sure if…"
"If what?" Rachel asked, caressing Quinn's warm cheek, now. The blonde was looking a little shy again.
"I don't know – you'd like it?"
"Why wouldn't I? I love compliments. Feel free to do so anytime," Rachel grinned, fluttering her lashes in a way she hoped looked flirty.
Quinn stifled a broad smile as she shook her head. "How modest of you," the blonde quipped as she kissed Rachel without interruption, this time.
By the time Quinn started sucking on her bottom lip, Rachel's eyes were closed tight, and she was incredibly dazed. It didn't take long before Rachel was panting again, making soft noises of approval that she knew Quinn liked because she kissed a little harder at the sound.
Quinn kissed down from her jaw to her neck, and Rachel wondered how much she could handle tonight, because – wow. "Quinn," Rachel gasped softly at the sensation of warm lips pressing against her throat. She kneaded at the nape of her neck encouragingly, and Quinn only increased her efforts.
At the first brush of Quinn's tongue near her ear, Rachel couldn't help but let out a moan that made both of them freeze. Rachel hazarded a glance at the blonde; her eyes looked dark and golden in the dim light.
"Do you want me to stop," Quinn panted out, eyeing Rachel's neck one last time before dragging her eyes to Rachel's face.
"Um –" Rachel made a strangled sound, because no, she very much wanted this to continue. But they weren't even – well, together, and… she hadn't gone much further than this, before. "N-not really, but…"
Quinn seemed to understand, though, because she pulled herself away and rolled off to lay beside her. She blinked a few times, like she had to clear a foggy mind, much like Rachel's. "Wow – that was –" Quinn stammered, licking her lips that were now a little swollen, blown-out eyes gazing at Rachel. "Nice. I'm sorry if I went too far?"
"You were fine," Rachel promised quietly, nuzzling timidly into the crook of Quinn's neck. The blonde shivered slightly. She smiled privately at the reaction before Quinn's arms encircled her, a thumb rubbing her back.
Quinn was being so sweet. She would have never suspected it, until the past weeks, but this was a side of Quinn that she got to see, now; the thought made her overwhelmingly warm with affection.
She pulled back, slightly, to study Quinn's face. It was still slightly pink, but mostly she looked satisfied and happy and the little smile she gave Rachel when she met her eyes stole her heart and she couldn't stop herself from speaking up. "Quinn, can I ask you a very important question that you have to answer?"
Quinn tensed, her relaxed gaze suddenly fearful. "Okay?"
Rachel felt a little bad for her penchant of building things up – so she lightly stroked her fingers through Quinn's hair. "Is this thing between us… um, becoming official in the near future?"
"God, give me a heart attack, will you?" Quinn exhaled into a laugh, like she was letting out breath she was holding. Her laughter died off quickly, settling into a nervous smile. "Uh, do you want us to be?"
Rachel pouted. "Answering with another question isn't really an answer at all, Quinn. I mean – I like kissing you, um, a lot – a-and I don't want you to be seeing someone else, so…"
Quinn chewed her lip. "Funnily enough, I never – I never… thought about getting this far. I mean, kissing you had just been a fantasy, for months –"
It was hard for Rachel to resist grinning somewhat proudly at that, and Quinn just playfully scowled and pushed her cheek gently. "So…?" Rachel pushed her to continue.
"The idea of dating you scares me," Quinn admitted quietly, avoiding Rachel's hurt expression when she continued. "Not because of you. Okay? It's… I'm a little screwed up, Rach."
Rachel's chest was filled with fondness at the nickname, and she reached her hand down between them to hold Quinn's. "I think everyone is, in their own way. I don't – I don't judge you or anything, alright?"
"I know. You just – you make me happy," she stressed softly, shaking her head against her pillow before continuing. "I don't want to mess this up, and my relationship history doesn't exactly have a high success rate…
Rachel felt like her next statement might be walking into a minefield, but – she was always a little too honest. "Are you sure that's not because they've all been… um, boys?"
With their proximity, it was hard to miss the way Quinn stiffened, but to her credit she didn't immediately deflect or snarl or something. She did, however, glower slightly "Yeah, that – we're not going to address that at all for now, okay? I've accepted my – my crush on you, but I'm not…" She sighed instead of finishing that statement.
The gay went unsaid, but Rachel could hear it loud and clear. She was sad, for Quinn, because evidently her upbringing made all of this infinitely more complicated. Even Rachel – with two gay fathers – had a few minor hang-ups when she realized she wasn't completely straight, so she could only imagine how hard it was for Quinn.
So, if admitting her feelings for Rachel without naming her sexuality was as far as she could handle, for now… Rachel could work with that.
"I'm not really sure of anything either," Rachel confessed, her fingers running up and down Quinn's arm. "If – if you're not prepared to date, that's… okay with me." It was hard to say, because when Rachel felt anything it was always with a feverous passion. But she was learning not to push Quinn with too much too fast.
Quinn visibly swallowed, a conflicted look on her face that made Rachel almost believe she might've been working up the courage. But then she moved to sit up, mumbling something about turning off the TV – the movie had long been over – and she turned off the bedside lamp, leaving them in darkness.
Rachel's eyes hadn't adjusted by the time Quinn crawled back into the bed, so she could only feel the dip beside her that indicated she was laying down again. Rachel blindly reached out to affirm her distance, gently palming the other girl's face. She heard a noise of amusement when Quinn pulled her hand away, keeping them together close to her chest.
"Goodnight, Quinn?" She asked more than stated, because she wasn't sure if that was the end of the conversations for tonight.
There was a movement beside her, and before she could get her bearings she was being gently pushed onto her back and a body pressed into hers. She took a shaky breath, laughing softly. "Is this supposed to be your goodnight kiss? Because may I suggest making it a little less pouncy and more –"
Quinn kissed her, once, cutting her off from saying anything else. And when she looked up, she could just barely see Quinn's features in the dark, from beautiful hazel eyes to somewhat mussed blonde hair. "No. This is my 'Rachel, will you be my girlfriend' kiss," Quinn said, and she sounded so hopeful and nervous. Rachel couldn't adore her more.
"Really?" She squealed, wishing she could better express her excitement in the dark. She was smiling so hard her cheeks hurt.
"Shh, it's late," Quinn laughed softly, brushing a finger against Rachel's lips. "Um… I can't promise I'll be perfect, or I won't make any mistakes, and suck at communicating sometimes. We'll have to take it really slow, and I'm still scared. But I think you're unfailing optimism is rubbing off on me a little, so… I want – I want to try." She took in an unsteady breath, "So, will you… be my girlfriend?"
In lieu of answering, Rachel leaned up and pulled Quinn down to shower her face in kisses until breathless giggles dissipated. "Is – is that a yes?"
"Of course, you goof," Rachel smiled into a slower kiss, this time on the lips.
They kissed for a little while after that, but it didn't take long for them to tire out. Rachel felt so happy that she was afraid she might burst, so sleeping would be a welcome reprieve. But there were a few last nagging thoughts she had to address.
"I know we only have a few weeks left until summer break, but what happens at school?" She blurted, when they were laying facing each other, tucked under the blankets.
Quinn winced. "I can't… I can't come out. Yet. I know you won't like it –"
"Don't assume my feelings," Rachel cut in gently. "I don't expect it to be easy, or for everyone to know. Okay? We'll figure it out. I'm happy with this, for now." Rachel reached out to rub Quinn's hand reassuringly, and a reluctant smile grew on Quinn's face. "But – I have to ask, can I tell anyone – because –"
"Santana knows," Quinn announced abruptly.
Rachel's eyes were owlish. "What?"
"I mean – she's like a hawk when she has suspicions, you know? She's been… kind of hinting it, for awhile, but after Nationals she finally asked directly," Quinn shrugged at the end of her explanation.
"And that… doesn't bother you?" Rachel asked, carefully.
"No," Quinn's face twitched with a frown. "I trust her – for the most part. At least about this. Because in the end, I have the same dirt on her."
"That's terrible, Quinn! Please tell me you wouldn't think of using that against her," Rachel admonished – Santana and Brittany were kind of an unspoken secret everyone in the Glee club knew about by now, but still.
Quinn stared at her, before sighing. "I know, okay? It still… reassures me. You don't need to lecture me on how terrible that is."
"Okay," Rachel let it go, for now. She fiddled with a blanket when she spoke up again. "Um, please don't freak out, but I think Kurt knows, too. I swear, I never said a word –" Instead of the panic she was expecting, Quinn was slowly appearing more and more amused. Rachel stopped with a questioning look.
"I told him," Quinn said, in a soft, low voice that quelled Rachel's nerves.
"Wait, is that why you two have gotten so chummy?" Rachel asked – and wow, after tonight, so many things were making a lot more sense.
Quinn laughed, quietly. "I wouldn't say chummy, but – yeah."
Rachel hummed. She was getting sleepy, but she was buzzing on kisses and confessions. "Okay, so, Kurt and Santana know. I wouldn't be surprised if – if some other people in the Glee club had their suspicions…"
Quinn blew out a breath. "Yeah. But can we worry about them – later?" She seemed so small, so different to the domineering Quinn that Rachel was familiar with. Her heart swelled with the urge to protect her.
"Of course," Rachel said, squeezing Quinn's hand once before retreating. "We have time to figure this all out. For now, let's sleep on it?"
"That sounds good," Quinn agreed with a yawn, sinking into her pillow. Rachel moved to make herself more comfortable, squirming closer to Quinn in a way she'd call subtle – until the other girl lazily draped on arm across her.
"So, Quinn…" Rachel started casually about five minutes later, her voice soft.
"Mm?" Quinn made a soft noise to show that she heard her but was evidently close to falling asleep.
"When do I get to present my hour-long lecture on veganism?"
She received a lazy, uncoordinated swat along with an amused huff in return.
Rachel smiled, closing her eyes. "Goodnight, Quinn."
"'Night, Rachel."
Quinn turned out to be right, somewhat. Everything wasn't fairytale easy.
They only had a few weeks left of junior year, which meant finals were on the horizon – so a lot of their new relationship consisted of study sessions – which, yes, sometimes got a little off track.
Finn was… well, Finn was a little distant and still seemed like he was waiting for Rachel to chase after him. That was something that would require time and more conversations.
Quinn still got a little anxious about any public displays of affection, and while they had frequent movie nights, they were at Rachel's house a lot more than Quinn's.
But everything wasn't all that bad. Most of the time, things were wonderful.
Kurt (and Blaine, by extension) were exuberant to hear they were finally together – and of course, demanded to go on double dates. Quinn was mildly amused, but wasn't opposed, to Rachel's delight.
It was obvious that Santana loved to rib Quinn about it, but their bickering was generally good-natured, and Santana attempted to use only the less offensive nicknames regarding Rachel instead of the worse ones. Basically, it was a noble effort, by Santana standards.
And Quinn was… Quinn was amazing, and caring, and sweet, and a lot of other adjectives Rachel could scarcely see herself using for the blonde at the start of junior year.
She might even be a little in love –
"What are you smiling about?" Quinn approached Rachel in the cafeteria, sliding down to sit next to her. Her lips were upturned in a playful way that made Rachel swoon.
"I was thinking about you," Rachel admitted, blushing only a little.
Quinn ducked her head, looking away, but Rachel could see her smile widening into broad, shy grin. It was adorable. "Jerk. I wanted to tease you, but you got me all… embarrassed."
"You're so cute," Rachel remarked, smiling widely when Quinn noticed that she was making a reference to one of their early sleepovers and narrowed her eyes with an arched brow.
"The tables have turned, hm?" Quinn leaned into Rachel, resting her head on the brunette's shoulder. Rachel blinked, pleasantly surprised when she reached out to hold her hand, too.
"Yeah," Rachel laughed breathlessly. "They certainly have."
As messy as it was, junior year – in Rachel's humble opinion – was a success.
A/N: Whew! Well, seeing as this is kind of my first fic of sorts (I've been an on-and-off writer, just never serious fics) I can say I've learned a few things!
Namely - I think I'll wait to have a fic completed before posting so I can stagger chapters / post it all whenever. Having an incomplete story out there stresses me out, I've learned!
Second, I am pretty terrible at estimating how long a scene will take - I had a whole 'nother scene (or group of scenes, rather, with more of the ensemble) planned out, but it wasn't pertinent to the main end result other than tying some loose ends, so I may just post a separate direct sequel to write that out sometime. :)
Anyway, thank you so much for reading! x