Quaxo's Secret Tale Part 16
Brit: Sorry for the long wait. I have been…meh. You don't care. Please enjoy.
Quaxo woke during the night. He was curled in his pipe and snoring softly when nightmares assaulted him…His father…falling beneath his claws and then so many more cats. He was slaughtering all his friends, damning them to hell. He was soaked in blood and he screeched as he woke, breathing heavily, and trembling. Instantly Tugger appeared from further down the pipe.
"Quax? What's wrong?" He whispered. Quaxo jumped and pulled away from him, his eyes wide and his fur on end. He stood up and shook his fur out as he realized the nightmare was over.
"N…nothing…I…I'm fine…just a bad dream." He murmured. Tugger tilted his head slightly and made to move towards his charge again when Quaxo took another step back. "P…please don't…I just need to go for a walk…" Quaxo whispered shakily. Tugger nodded and stepped back. Bomba's eyes glowed softly as she gazed down the pipe worriedly. Quaxo sighed heavily and turned, slipping from the pipe becoming just another dark shadow of the night. He walked away from the yard and walked towards the Jellicle Graveyard.
When he arrived in site of the tree he was surprised to see Skimbleshanks sitting over the graves of Deut and Macavity…Quaxo blinked and walked up, sitting beside him. The calico shot him a brief glance and turned his eyes back to the white roses growing from the graves.
"Hello Quaxo." Skimble murmured. "What is wrong?" He asked. Quaxo realized he was still trembling and attempted to stop, but failed. Finally Quaxo stopped trying and sighed.
"Just nightmares." He meowed softly. Skimble nodded in understanding.
"About killing cats right?" He asked softly. Quaxo blinked in surprise and looked at him.
"How did you know?" He asked. Skimble sighed and smiled sadly.
"I too have killed a cat before…And I had nightmares for a long time." Skimble meowed.
"Oh…So they go away eventually?" Quaxo asked. Skimble sighed and looked up at the dark sky at the stars which danced and twinkled merrily above.
"Yes…But they can come back if triggered…For instance when another cat is killed." He meowed. Quaxo blinked and leaned against him.
"I'm sorry." He murmured. Skimble smiled softly.
"It is ok. So. Why have you come here?" He asked, turning his knowing glass-green eyes to Quaxo. Quaxo blinked back up at him.
"Well…Despite what everyone thinks of him…or me…Macavity was my father and though he was bad he was my dad…and somewhere inside of me I realized that I did love him…" Quaxo murmured. Skimble smiled sadly.
"Yes I understand. And I believe many others did care for him too. Like me. I helped raise him after his mom died and it killed me to see him grow as cold and distant as he did. He used to have such a big heart…" He murmured. Skimble looked at Old D's grave and blinked. "And Deut…I was found as a kitten at the station…My family had just died and Deut's family took me in. Deut was my big brother. And I miss him." Skimble murmured, staring at the graves as tears wavered in his green eyes.
"Oh Skimble….I'm sorry." Quaxo murmured…He stared at the graves and horror slowly built in his eyes. Skimble looked over at him and observed this before he sighed heavily and stood.
"Lad, I think you and I need to go on a little trip. I have a three day trip on the train heading to Scotland the day after tomorrow and I want you to come with me…just unwind." He meowed. Quaxo looked up at him with hollow eyes.
"Ok Skimble. I have something I wanna talk to you about anyways." He murmured. Skimble smiled and hugged him before both rose and headed back to the yard.
=^.^=
Skimble was waiting at the entrance of the Junkyard when Quaxo walked over. Munkustrap, Jerrie and Teazer walked behind him and halted at the gate.
"Bye Quax. I'll make sure everything stays in order while you are gone." Munk promised with a smile. Quaxo smiled.
"Thanks Munk." He purred. Jerrie bounced over and threw and arm around Quaxo's shoulder.
"Se ya later Quaxo! Keep dad outta trouble, k?" He said. Quaxo nodded with a smile. Jerrie has been calling him Quaxo lately instead of Misto. Quaxo has no complaints with that.
"Sure Jerrie." He purred. Finally Teazer padded up and Jerrie walked over to Skimble and threw an arm around him instead. Quaxo smiled gently as Teazer hugged him.
"Bye Quax…stay safe, k?" She whispered in his ear. Quaxo nuzzled her cheek with a smile.
"Absolutely. Bye Teaze. See you in a few days. Behave." He purred warmly. She giggled against him and let him go, doing a twirl in front of him.
"I always behave." She purred. Quaxo snorted and rolled his eyes.
"Yeah…right." He snorted. She giggled again and Quaxo turned towards the gate where Munk was just saying something to Skimble. Skimble nodded and turned to Quaxo with a smile.
"Come on kid! Let's go!" He purred. He turned and began striding down the street.
"Bye everyone!" Quaxo called as he bound after Skimble. A chorus of goodbyes followed in their wake.
=^.^=
As they neared the train station Skimble halted and turned to Quaxo.
"Errm…they don't let cats on the train who don't work there…so I got you this." Skimble produced a vest just like his from inside his own vest and handed it to Quaxo. Quaxo unfolded it and smiled at the smaller vest. He put it on and buttoned it up, looking down at himself. He smiled.
"Thanks Skimble…this is awesome! Perfect fit." He purred. Skimble smiled happily and turned, leading the young tom towards the train. Now his little friend looked like a true railway cat. Quaxo looked to be in a better mood. Despite the reason he was taking this vacation he was still excited.
The idea of traveling and discovering and visiting new lands and different places had always captivated him in a way he never truly understood. It was a new adventure. It was like walking into another life. Quaxo halted outside the door of the train car they were to be riding in and looked up along the train.
The train stretched away into the distance, lost in its own thick white steam which swirled in tendrils around the outside of the locomotive as it settled. Humans boarded the train and the steady hum of their voices filled the air along with the long protesting groans and creaks of the train, the hiss of the steam and bells somewhere far off in the distance. The air smelled of steam and oil from the train and of greasy food from the station as well as the faint underlining odor of fresh fruits and spices from the market just up the street. Quaxo stretched his claws out and scratched them over the cobblestone ground. The stone felt cool beneath his pads and his heart soared with the concept of possibility and adventure.
He peered back over his shoulder once before he stepped after Skimble, nimbly weaving between legs as people milled about. His ears flicked at each new sound and his nose twitched at each new scent. He smiled and purred when small children bent down to pet him before they were whisked away by their parents.
Suddenly Skimble halted and Quaxo accidentally bumped into him.
"Oops. Sorry." Quaxo muttered. Skimble flicked his tail in acknowledgment and looked up at a human dressed in a vest a lot like the ones the two cats were wearing. He smiled down at the cats from kind old eyes.
"Hello Charlie! Hired us a new set of paws did ya?" The old gentleman bent down and Quaxo blinked at the kind twinkling blue eyes that reminded him of Old Deuteronomy's. The man gently ran a hand over Quaxo's back and legs before he stroked his head.
"Well now. You seem like a fine young fellow." The man said merrily. He turned Quaxo's tag on his collar over and smiled, eyes widening in surprise. "Well! Prince Presto. Welcome to our crew little guy! Glad to see some royals like to work." He chuckled. "That Ella. Always sleeping." He added with amusement. Quaxo purred and rolled his eyes before the man stood up. "Bye!" He said before striding away.
"That's the Conductor." Skimble informed him. Quaxo smiled.
"He seems nice." He purred. Skimble nodded in agreement.
"He is very nice. He found me when I was still very small before Deut and his family did and took me in. I started doing some stuff like patrolling the train in return for his kindness and he declared me the first railway cat, giving me a vest." He meowed. Quaxo smiled.
"That's neat! I think the vests are very nice and very fitting for cats, especially you." Quaxo replied. Skimble smiled and waved his long brown tail as the last passenger boarded.
"All aboard!" The Conductor shouted. Then he waved a hand at the engine which was now visible among the steam. The train gave a loud protesting groan and huff then began slowly rolling forwards. With ease Skimble stepped into the open car door as it passed. Quaxo lightly leaped up next to him, ears flickering and eyes wide with excitement. His journey had begun.
The entire day he kept busy, walking up and down the train, the luggage compartments, the passenger cars…Quaxo soon became a very popular railway cat. Skimble was pleased that Quaxo could interact well with humans. Many Jellicles were wary of them and the ones who weren't were not comfortable in crowds of humans. Quaxo took it all in stride like he'd been born doing this. They stopped all over England before they finally began to head out to Scotland.
When the sun began to set the two toms headed back to the luggage car where they were sleeping and gazed out the open door as the landscape rushed by. For a long time they were both silent…and the silence allowed Quaxo to think about what he had done…He stared at his paws sadly. Skimble looked over at him.
"Quaxo. Don't feel terrible about it…He may have changed but had you not killed him he would have killed all of us…I killed out of anger." Skimble confessed. Quaxo blinked at him, pain in his eyes.
"He was my father Skimble…" He muttered. Skimble sighed and looked down.
"I killed Jenny's father." He replied. Quaxo's eyes widened and he stared at Skimble. The tom winced. Quaxo shook himself quickly out of it and blinked.
"I…" Suddenly he stood up, anger and pain in his eyes…he had upset Skimble, killed his father…so much pain and all because their hearts had been hurt…No cat was born a killer…Music suddenly came from nowhere and began to envelop the train car. As the vibrant orange light of the sunset shone into the car Quaxo began to sing.
"It starts with pain
Followed by hate
Fueled by the endless questions no one can answer
A stain covers your heart, and tears you apart
Just like a sleeping cancer
I don't believe cats are born to be killers
I don't believe the world can't be saved
How did you get here and when did it start
An innocent child with a thorn in his heart
What kind of world do we live in
When love is divided by hate
Losing control of our feeling
We all must be dreaming this life away
In a world so cold
Are you sane
Where is the shame
A moment of time passes by
You cannot rewind who's to blame
When did it start
Is there a cure for your sickness
Have you no heart
I don't believe cats are born to be killers
I don't believe the world can't be saved
How did you get here and when did it start
An innocent child with a thorn in his heart
What kind of world do we live in
When love is divided by hate
Losing control of our feeling
Dreaming this life away
What kind of world do we live in
When love is divided by hate
We all must be dreaming this life away
In a world so cold
There's a sickness inside you that wants to escape
It's a feeling you get when you can't find your way
So how many times must you fall to your knees
Never, Never, Never, Never, Never do this again
It starts with pain" As Quaxo sung these lines Skimble began to echo him. "with pain"
"Followed by hate" "followed by hate"
I don't believe cats are born to be killers
I don't believe the world can't be saved
What kind of world do we live in
When love is divided by hate
Losing control of our feeling
were dreaming this life away
What kind of world do we live in
When love is divided by hate
Selling our souls for no reason
We all must be dreaming his life away
In a world so cold, in a world so cold" Quaxo sang with such passion and raw emotion. Skimble watched him with wide eyes. Quaxo finally lowered his head and sat, panting lightly by the open train car door. Skimble padded forwards and sat close to him.
"That was very nice." Skimble murmured with a small smile. "You certainly made me feel better." He purred softly. Quaxo blinked and looked at him offering a tiny smile. But there was pain in his eyes. Skimble wrapped his tail around Quaxo comfortingly and the two gazed out over the beautiful rolling hills.
Finally after a long pause Quaxo looked at the vested tom.
"Would you hate me if I asked you about your life?" He asked quietly. Skimble smiled softly, memories flashing in his eyes. He let out a deep and happy chuckle.
"No Quaxo…Few cats could ever hate you." He purred. "It all started many years ago in Scotland…I was just a wee lad and…" Skimble launched into his story, voice carrying softly to Quaxo's ears, as the night wore on…
…=^.^=
"We used to live in a little den in the countryside. I was a wee little thing, barely weaned from my mother when they came. My family was not wealthy and so my father kept us fed and sheltered by doing all sorts of unsatisfactory work. But one day he pissed off the wrong cats. They came for him. In the dead of night. They killed him and came for us next. My mother and sister didn't make it, but I fled, terror filling me to the core. They were chasing me though. But luck was on my side. I lived near train tracks and a train was chugging along as I approached. I can't tell you how my tiiny self managed to get into a train car, but I did nonetheless, and ended up in London. The conductor found me on the train and took me in, naming me Charlie. Well it was good. For at least a little while. He made me the first railway cat. And I loved doing that. People knew me. They loved me. And I got to see so many places. The feel of the wind through and open luggage car on your face as the rolling hills and fields roll by is like nothing else...Anyways. Along with seeing many new places, came meeting many new faces. And thats when I met him...He was a big brutish orange tabby. Jacklelinfty. That was his name...And yes. He was a Jellicle. I didn't know that at the time though. Then, I had no idea what a Jellicle was.
Anyways...It was while I was in London, just coming off the train one day when I heard someone yelling...A queen by the sounds of it. She was crying...I was still young. A kitten, but not quite of age. And I ran away from the train, heading into the allies around the area. What I saw horrified me. He had a queen pinned against the wall, sloppily kissing at her neck as she desperately tried to crane her head away from him. I could hardly make them out, it was so dark in the alley. The bitter scent of alcohol clung to his fur, and the stench of fear rolled off of her in waves. I didn't think. I reacted and ran at him, throwing my entire weight against him and knocking him away from her. She ran and he turned on me...Suddenly I was terrified...He was massive and towered over me, dwarfing me, in my thin, gangly adolescence. I couldn't make out any of his features, what color his fur was, what he may have been wearing. Apart from his lime-green eyes flashing in the faint light and massive size.. His expression kept flashing between anger and confusion. He kept asking me who I was, and why I was sticking my nose in someone else's business. I was trying to be brave about it and he only seemed amused. But then I heard someone running down the street. The big tom looked up then back at me, and he smirked at me, told me he would 'see me around.' In this creepy tone. It was unnerving to say the least. Anyways. The she-cat came running around the corner, leading two broad shoulder toms. I realized we were behind a bar, she was a dancer, and the two toms were security. In my moment of distraction the big tom had vanished...I looked back and he was just gone...The queen came up to me and embraced me as the two guards ran passed, searching the alley. I was surprised and looked up at her. She thanked me and insisted she thought I was dead meat. Anyways. We got talking and I discovered that the tom had notoriously been raping queens in the area when he was drunk, and she was the sister of Dellalora, a queen in the Jellicle Junkyard. I asked about these Jellicles and she told me. I was curious so she brought me to Dell. That's when she took me in, and when I wasn't working the train, I was in the yard, learning the ways of the Jellicle's.
It was there...not long after I arrived, that I met Jenny… She was just the most beautiful cat I'd ever seen, and so kind and thoughtful. She didn't judge me from where I'd come from, and she was so easy to talk to. We became close fast, and soon we knew one another better than anyone else. Her father was constantly working, so I still had yet to meet him...But alas it was inevitable...We were excited to meet one another, but the second I saw his eyes, I recoiled. It was him...The tom from the alley. He seemed shocked at first then smirked...sickly. There's no other way to describe it. His smirk fell away as he turned to Jenny and promptly forbade her from going anywhere near me...She protested and he began shoving her away from me roughly, and telling her that he was in charge and she had to listen to him...Despite my fear of my standing in the tribe, I blurted it out...Everything. What had happened when I first met him.
He got furious fast. The Jellicle's were gathering around...many didn't believe me and called out denial and Jenny just looked horrified. The tribe turned on me and told me to keep my mouth shut or to leave the tribe. They didn't believe their once strong and wise warrior was capable of such a thing. I hid in Deuts den for a long time, too afraid to face the tribe again...I only walked the junkyard at night. Turns out I didn't need to be the one to reveal him. Jenny knew her father had been going out at night and becoming suspicious after what I'd told the tribe, she went out and followed him...I saw her leave after him. So I followed them both….Late in the night he staggered out of a bar, and headed towards another, obviously having been kicked out. But he came across a queen first. He started calling her Hilli and kissing at her body. She started to struggle away from him, but he dragged her into the alley. Jenny didn't wait a second longer. It was her turn to shove him away from the queen. She confronted him...He didn't defend himself, and told her he was her father, so he didn't have to take her shit. She told him she wasn't his daughter anymore, and made a comment about her mother being disappointed in him, and he struck her across the face, so hard it sounded like a firecracker going off. Then he smirked at her, grabbing her arm, and the look made me squirm...
I saw red. I didn't think whatsoever, and don't exactly remember doing anything. But the next thing I knew, I was standing over his body. He wasn't moving, and blood was pooling from his throat, and his lime green eyes were wide, lightless, and glazed over with death. I held my paws in the air, and they were soaked in blood and clogged with orange fur. Jenny was staring at me in horror, and I was shaking. I didn't know what to do...I just stood there...Thats when the queen came back with the bouncers...When Jenny and I were taken back to the junkyard, i hid for over a month. I didn't leave the den at all. I didn't want to talk to anyone...I didn't do anything. But lay in bed and try to unsee what I'd done, and the fear in Jenny's eyes…
It didn't take long before she came and spoke to me though, reassuring me that it was going to be ok, and she didn't hate me. Regardless, of why I did it, who it was, who forgave me...I can never really shake the regret and pain for what I'd done. Or feeling guilty. Jenny is a constant reminder but I wouldn't ever tell her that. I love her too much.
"Anyways. Yeah. I get what you're going through. That guilt just sorta stays there and the nightmares...They're horrible...But you'll get through this. And I am sure Mac is happier now." Skimble looked sideways at Quaxo as he stared out at the landscapes that rolled by them.
Quaxo stared at the floor of the luggage car. He was silent for a long time thinking things over. Then finally he looked up at Skimble, who remained silent and ever patient.
"It's going to take a long time...before I'll get over it. Words don't just...fix everything, no matter how well meaning they may be. I'm sorry you went through that as well Skimble. And I am glad Jenny forgave you." He meowed quietly. Skimble looked at him for a long moment.
"Macavity forgave you too." He meowed softly. Quaxo fell silent once more, and the two remained in silence for a long time.
Finally Quaxo looked up and met the gentle and understanding glass-green eyes of the elder tom.
"I know. And I understand. Sometimes life gets hard. Sometimes bad things happen, and there's nothing you can do about them. And it hurts. I mean. It really hurts. Can even be scary. But...It's surviving those things that make us stronger. It makes us who we are. As for my father...Our mistakes do not define us...It's what we learn from them and what we choose to do after they are made that does. In the end...He was just a cat with stolen innocence. And Jenny's father was just a cat who let grief get the better of him. And in our ends. We will be whoever we want to be. Whoever we choose to be. And I. Choose to be a good tom. Who always does his best for others." Quaxo vowed. Skimble nodded with a smile, eyes watering a bit and the two turned their gazes out onto the landscape again.
Rolling hills. Brightly colored fields. Endless blue sky, succumbing to the soft orange glow of sunset. The sound of the train gently rolling along the tracks filled the silence. And the sun sunk beyond the hills, painting the land in the soft golden rays once more before dipping away out of sight, and making way for the Jellicle moon to rise.
The End