A/N: Hey, look who's alive! And look who updated after 5 years! Woooo, I'm making this a semi-regular upload too (probably not as often as MSGW, but not 5 years either). Anyway, hope you enjoy, and I'll continue using the suggestions I get!
In the courtroom, all 98 of the chairs behind the wall are filled with spectators, witnesses and journalists, with all three groups squirming in their seats with excitement. Bowser Jr then walks out with a folder. He gives the folder to Toadette, who looks over it.
"Case #9274 on the account of Fuzzipede v. Fishmael," Junior informed. Toadette nods her head.
"Let's get this over with; I have to make dinner for Toad and me in a few. Bring them in!"
Fuzzipede walks in with his lawyer, Sushie, and makes his way to the plaintiff stand. The defendant, Fishmael, walks in with his lawyer, The 'Tuna'. As the huge whale slides down the aisle, some of the spectators near the aisle gets whacked, causing them to fly against the wall.
"OWW!" the spectators screamed as they hit the wall and the ceiling. As commotion continues, Toadette pounds her gavel.
"ORDER! ORDER IN MY COURT! And someone clean up the blood!" Toadette commanded. The spectators calm down as The Tuna makes his way to the defendant stand and a custodian comes in. Bowser Jr then summarizes the case.
"The plaintiff, three-year-old Fuzzipede, is suing the defendant, forty-two year old Fishmael, for attempting to use him as bait. Fuzzipede is suing Fishmael for 10,000 coins for emotional trauma, for the Bait Awareness Fund and his summer vacation to Barbados. The defendant's counterclaim is to pay for the lawyer fees."
Both the plaintiff and the defendant, as well as their lawyers, hold up their right hand and pledge to tell nothing but the truth.
"Both parties have been sworn in; you may all be seated," Bowser Jr commanded.
As the spectators, the prosecution and the defense all sit down, Toadette puts on some fake glasses.
"Before I start," Toadette looked over at the defense, "Is it true that you used a credit card to pay for your lawyer fees, Fishmael?"
"Well-" The Tuna tried to answer, but Toadette immediately hushes him.
"AH! AH! I am talking to Fishmael here, not you, sir," Toadette interrupted, "So, Fishmael, is it true?"
Fishmael reluctantly nods his head yes.
"Using a credit card for lawyer fees is illegal in the Mushroom Kingdom! Your counterclaim is dismissed!" Toadette commanded, "Anyway, Fuzzipede or Sushie, please explain your case."
Sushie walks up towards the judge, "You see, Your Honor, my client was walking on the Toad Town docks one beautiful afternoon. Rather than taking a right to go back to the shoreline, he instead took a left, going farther out into the ocean. Fishmael was there, fishing, but he ran out of bait. That is when Fishmael got up, captured him, and tried to use him as BAIT!"
"OBJECTION!" The Tuna cried out.
"On what grounds?" Toadette questioned.
"... Umm, on the one we're on? I don't get what you land species mean by-"
"OVERRULED!"
"But I-"
"OVERRULED, FISH THING!" Toadette shouted, "Speak over me again and your case is out of here! You understand?!"
"Yes Your Honor, but my client-"
"HUSH! It's overruled! Shut up now or your client's case is dismissed!"
A mixture of gasps and laughter erupts from the spectators. Some spectators even started calling The Tuna a 'Fish Thing'. This causes The Tuna to shout in a loud voice.
"I AM A FREAKING WHALE! NOT A FISH THING! YOU-" The Tuna swore, causing the entire spectator section to erupt in gasps. Toadette pounds her gavel probably a billion times.
"ORDER! ORDER IN MY COURT! Shut the heck up everyone, or you're all going to jail for 30 days! Next one to say a swear word in here goes to jail for 30 days for indecent exposure!" Toadette commanded.
"Your Honor," Bowser Jr butted in, "I don't think that is the definition of Indecent Exposure-"
"Bowser Koopa Junior," Toadette said with a cheery, smart-aleck smile on her face, "Shut your mouth, or I will have my guards do it for you. Being my bailiff still doesn't give you rights."
Bowser Junior then quiets down, mumbling barely audible words to himself.
Toadette then focuses her attention on Sushie and commands, "Go on, Sushie."
"Anyway, Your Honor, before I was interrupted by a rude source..." Sushie turned around and glared at The Tuna, "My client then says he tried to escape the grasps of Fishmael, even begging, but Fishmael would not let go. He tried to suffocate my client!"
Toadette then rubs her chin, "Interesting. Fishmael, where do you buy your bait?"
"I buy my bait from Fred's Fishing," Fishmael answered, "I bought a pack of thirty worms from there, but they went gone-"
"WERE gone," Toadette corrected, "Proper English in here only."
"Sorry Your Honor. Anyway, I was having a great day; I caught so much fish-"
"THAT IS FALSE!" Fuzzipede cried out, once again causing the court room, "He didn't catch anything!"
Rather than banging her gavel, Toadette rests her elbow on the stand, cups her hand and rests her forehead on it. She then mumbles some words sounding like, 'Why me?'
Seeing her distress, Bowser Jr cries out, "SHUT UP EVERYONE! Fuzzipede, let Fishmael finish!"
"Ugh... Sorry," Fuzzipede apologized.
"Good, good," Toadette resumed with her serious face on, "Fishmael, continue on."
"Well, anyway, Your Honor, I was hooking up a worm to the hook, you know? Then suddenly, this weird freaking fuzzy thing, which is the Plaintiff, randomly came up to me and attacked me! Using self defense, I tackled him down; I gave him the option to walk away peacefully, but he wouldn't choose that."
"OBJECTION!" Sushie yelled out.
"Overruled," Toadette replied, "Fishmael, continue."
"Okay, so he wouldn't stop. That's when I tried to use him as bait. It was all in self-defense!"
"And what time did this... Encounter happen?"
"About two-thirty PM on May 3rd," Fishmael replied. Toadette nodded with a smile.
"Okay. Sushie, call down your first witness, please."
Sushie nods, "Okay. I call down... Goompapa!"
Out of the spectator area, Goompapa nervously walks over to the witness stand. Bowser Jr holds out a Mario Party 5 manual.
"Do you swear, to the Star Spirits in Star Haven and their holy game, that you will tell the truth and nothing but the truth?"
"Umm... Yes! Will the Star Spirits hate me if I lie?"
"Yes," Sushie mumbled, "Very much."
All of the sudden, a voice coming from the sky starts speaking, "Judge Toadette will return in a few minutes..."
"DON'T GO ANYWHERE!" Toadette screamed to the deity, "I'm not done with this case yet! Anyway, Sushie, continue."
"Fine, impatient heifer," the deity complained.
"Heifer? I'll have my guards arrest you after this! Anyway, Mister Goompapa... Where were you at 2:30 PM on May 3rd?"
"I was... Umm..." Goompapa starts sweating. He looks over at Goomama with nervous eyes.
"Go on, sir..."
"I was... On a date... WITH ANOTHER WOMAN!" Goompapa confessed.
The entire court erupts in sudden gasps, shocked at Goompapa's confession. Goomama then stands up, jumps the railing and walks over towards the witness stand. There, she somehow slaps Goompapa.
"I *SLAP* CANNOT BELIEVE *SLAP* THAT *SLAP* YOU CHEATED ON ME! *SLAP*"
Toadette has to stifle back her laughter at Goomama beating up Goompapa to a pulp. EMT's then rush into the building and put Goompapa onto a stretcher while policemen arrest Goomama.
"THAT'S IT GOOMPAPA! I'M SUING YOU! YOU HEAR?! I'M SUING YOUUUUUU!..." Goomama screams as the policemen carry her out.
After the events, Toadette looks at Fuzzipede as if the scene that just occurred happens every day.
"Anything else, sir?"
"Nope."
"Good," Toadette smiled, "Now, Fishmael, using others as bait is considered harassment, which is a 3rd degree felony here in the Mushroom Kingdom. I sentence you to six months of prison and a thousand hours of community service. Fuzzipede, I sentence you to taking me to Barbados with you, but you win the money you wanted from the Defendant. Judgement for the Plaintiff for 10,000 coins! See ya!"
Judge Toadette will continue in a moment...
On the next Judge Toadette...
We know harassment counts when it gets physical... But what about verbal harassment here in the Mushroom Kingdom?
"Zey keep making fun of me! Zat's harassment and discrimination, Your Honor!" Ludwig stated, earning a snickering from the audience. Toadette then rolls her eyes and sighs.
"This case was a whole bunch of crap!" Fishmael groaned, "It was clearly self-defense!"
"YES! I get to go to Barbados! I get to go to Barbados!" Fuzzipede cheered.
"And since when were using credit cards illegal? I used them for all the lawsuits I got for driving under the influence of fire flowers!" Fishmael continued.
"I mean, I have emotional trauma that will never heal. But I get to go to Barbados!" Fuzzipede continued.
"Whatever. It is what it is, I guess. A scam artist got away," Fishmael grumbled.
"I thank Judge Toadette! We'll have fun in Barbados together!" Fuzzipede cheered.