A slightly green-looking Naruto Uzumaki stomped his way out of the forest and onto a main road. There was no way in hell he was going to be using the Hiraishin any time soon if it would get him into these types of situations. He shuddered as he tried to get the sight of that damned clearing littered with…with…the teenager shuddered and refused to finish the thought – out of his mind's eye.

The Jashin-priest was tailing him at a distance he deemed respectful, which meant that the man of unusual colouring was practically screeching excited gibberish into his ear. His black, collared cloak fluttered with every excited gesture he made, obscenities that did not seem to be intended to offend cluttering his speech pattern as he tried to display his utter gratitude and excitement that his Jashin-sama had graced him with his awesome presence.

The fact that Naruto did not consider anything about his appearance to be 'awe-inspiring' in the slightest, and that he was certainly not a heathen god, didn't seem to dissuade the man in his…staunch beliefs.

Hidan (that was all the information an extremely pissed off Uzumaki had cared to glean off of his 'summoner') was currently proclaiming his devout loyalty to the boy and was spouting some highly worrying spiel about him 'following his Jashin-sama to the ends of the earth.' Naruto, who was in no mood to entertain, nor correct the man in his delusions merely stalked along the main road to his village. He had no time for this ridiculousness, he had to train! He had a promise to keep! Sasuke was still refusing to see reason and had been sighted recently. There was no doubt going to be a showdown soon enough, and Naruto had to be ready to make his friend see sense. To bring him back.

Hidan interrupted his brooding (and yes, he was brooding, although the blonde would never admit it) with an extremely concerning statement, "Ah! You have deigned to grace me with the knowledge of your will, Jashin-sama!" He crowed in delusional glory, "I will bring back this Sasuke-fucker for you!"

Naruto skidded to a halt, the taller man crashing into his shoulder, he was following so close behind him. The younger male's head creaked around to face his (literal) follower eerily and he addressed him through a clenched jaw, "Wh-what did you just say?"

The man clasped his hands together and got to his knees, it wouldn't do to have his head higher than his deity after all, "Forgive me for overstepping my boundaries, Jashin-sama! I've always been able to hear your will, and you have guided me my whole life! I-I want to bring back the shitstain that caused you all this pain on your behalf, it would be an absolute-fucking-honour!"

Naruto was floored, and not just because of the man's odd contrasting style of speaking. This was…impossible. This, this entire situation could not be real.

Hidan suddenly stiffened from his position at the Uzumaki's sandals and looked up to the boy with a terrifying grin, "Ah! Allow me to display my devotion to the cause, Jashin-sama!"

And with that he sprinted ahead down the road where Naruto could feel a few civilian-level chakra signatures approaching. So, this Hidan was a ninja then. That did not bode well at all. Still frozen in shock, the teenager was startled into action at the large and rather alarming chakra spike that came from the direction his persistent companion had disappeared to.

He pushed chakra into his legs and ran, an uncomfortable feeling of worry clutching his chest, only for the unnerving sound of screams of terror suddenly being cut off to reach his ears.

When Naruto reached the scene, his eyes widened in horror. Hidan was standing in front of a civilian transport vehicle, with the dismembered limbs of at least five once-people scattered around him. The robed man was crouched in front of the cart, smearing blood into the hard-packed dirt of the road in what could only be a ritual of some kind.

Naruto could only watch with a revulsion that stiffened his joints, his vulpine tenant uncharacteristically and solemnly silent as the unhinged man finally straightened up and turned towards the younger of the (still living) occupants of the area.

"Here you go, Jashin-sama!" he called enthusiastically, waving an arm in a wild greeting, "An offering! So please, please can I go and fucking look for that Uchiwa-whatever bastard for you?"

As if that statement was a spell of some kind, Naruto could feel an awful, horrible, tainted chakra filter into his own coils. He gasped as what he could only describe as death brushed along his shoulders and an unnatural cold seeped into his bones.

Kurama? He thought to the Kyuubi in alarm, what's happening?!

Said Kyuubi was still unnervingly quiet and he remained so for a good few moments before he decided to answer the boy.

You're definitely not going to like this one kit, he started carefully much to Naruto's raising ire. Just spit it out, you old fox!

Okay! Calm down, Naruto – yikes. It looks like the techniques the two of you were doing affected each other and – er, combined – somehow. Back in the forest.

Naruto's eyes widened at the implications, the feeling of that repulsive chakra finally waning away, slowly. The timing of that phrase by the priest, and that feeling, could not have been coincidental. Not with what Kyuubi was implying now.

You mean? Kurama gave a weak chuckle at that, Yeah, uh, this Hidan somehow turned you into his 'Jashin-sama.'

Naruto despaired silently as he slouched along, finally in sight of Konoha's main gates as his relentless travelling companion sauntered happily alongside him. The wicked scythe he had used in his – well, blatantly sacrificial ritual earlier was perched across his shoulders, his forearms resting on it to keep it secure as the two walked in what Hidan believed to be an amicable silence.

He had seen Naruto's silence as permission to go along with his schemes, clearly, and was satisfied to leave his god to his thoughts for the moment, it thankfully seemed. He did briefly wonder why they were at Konoha of all places, and a sneer curled his lips when he realised that they were probably there to raze it to the ground. He was so, unbelievably honoured to be Jashin-sama's chosen personal companion. The world would no doubt tell tales of their adventures for centuries to come!

Relax Naruto, you're not some pagan god or something, Kyuubi made his beliefs known in an attempt to get his once jailor, and now friend, to cheer up. It was unnatural to see the boy so subdued. He gave a mental (as that was all he could do, currently) shudder. It was so wrong. Naruto was grateful for the reassurance that he wasn't going to start feeling compelled to demand virgin sacrifices or anything of the like anytime soon, but he couldn't get over the feeling of that terrifying chakra that had washed over him as a result of Hidan's ritual.

The Jashin priest had somehow linked him to his religious beliefs and now, whatever malevolent chakra that resulted from the murders of innocents was going to him – Naruto – instead of the presumably mythical deity itself. The boy shuddered as he fervently prayed to whatever other gods that were out there that he wasn't pissing off a homicidal one by accidentally stealing what was apparently his number one fan, along with the man's disturbing skill for sacrifice.

Enough, Naruto shook his head and a familiar determination settled onto his tanned features as they approached Konoha's main gates. He would find Tsunade and Jiraiya as soon as possible to get this whole unfortunate mess sorted out. He refused to let the situation get far enough to cause any lasting effects.

…The poor, naïve child.

Oh, if only you guys knew what I have in store for you all.