When I came to pick you up for lunch, I was a wreck though I tried to hide it. What would you have to say about "us"? When I pulled up, you were looking a little nervous too. It was all so strange for us both to be so nervous when we'd known each other for so long, but then I remembered my letter. I nearly blushed over all those confessions I made.
We exchanged pleasantries and not much else until we got to the restaurant. After we were seated, you started the conversation with your new managing job. I listened as intently as I could while I waited for the real reason for this meeting. And then it finally came.
"Bill, I guess I'll get to it….I've been thinking. I don't like how distant we've become since…you know that one Christmas Eve,"
I felt my face becoming flushed as I remembered that night. "I know a lot of it's my fault."
"Well, I know how you feel about me," and as you hesitated, I could feel every muscle in my body start to tighten.
"And you know I've always loved you as a friend." My heart dropped a little as I thought, okay here it comes…
"Now that Jock and I are getting a divorce…well I've missed you...and I just thought maybe we could try…" then you looked like you ran out of words, or the nerve to say them.
"Try?" As I tried to understand where this was going.
"Try," as you kept searching for the right words, "to get to know each other again on different terms, not as Jock's wife or even as friends…but maybe we could just..go out together." You finally stopped as all that seemed to take a lot out of you.
I sat for a moment trying to process this. After taking a deep breath I finally came out with…
"Do you mean you'd like for us to go out on a date?" I said, not really believing it.
You drew your eyes down as if you were embarrassed about being so forward. But you knew after how you responded when I confessed my love, I would never have approached the subject again on my own.
After a pause, you said "Yes…if you'd like…if you still feel the same way."
If I feel the same way? My heart started pounding in my chest, I had to catch my breath, to try and contain my excitement...
"I do." I finally whispered.
You must have sensed my excitement because you cautioned, "but we have to go slowly. I'm just getting over my marriage and I have to get used to seeing you…as more than just a friend."
I smiled and said, "I understand," but my mind was still racing. Is this really happening? So many nights I've dreamt this. So many years I couldn't stop thinking about you.
As we parted, you leaned in to kiss my cheek as you had done so many times before. But this time was different. A slow purposeful kiss. The way you looked into my eyes. It was all I could do not to pick you up and take you into my arms. But I remembered your instructions, so I restrained myself.
"Would you like to go out Friday night?" I asked hopefully, trying to get used to this new game.
"Yes," you replied with a sweet smile. "Yes I would."
My smile spread from ear to ear, I was on top of the world. And yet I still couldn't believe it. My Mary.
Going back to work, for the rest of the day, I was completely useless. I had to keep pinching myself to prove I wasn't dreaming.