oh look, this fic isn't dead. only i am, on the inside ._.
note that basically everything except for the very last scene has been written well in advance of the moira reveal, and this story will follow the original outline and not incorporate the new canon.
The next afternoon found Angela sitting in the med bay, slowly twirling with her office chair, while she pondered a question that she knew had only one answer. No matter how she looked at the issue, it all boiled down to just one viable approach, an approach that went against everything she stood for. But she realized there was no real way around it, and now she somehow had to come up with reasons for why it was the right thing to do.
She had to kill the Reaper. Personally. Because no one else could do it. She had to put down the monster she herself had created, all those years ago. The day her neatly ordered world had collapsed in the firestorm at Overwatch HQ. The day Gabriel Reyes had died.
'Because there is nothing left of Gabriel in that abomination!'
On the surface, things were quite simple. The Reaper had been responsible for hundreds, if not thousands of deaths since his appearance; and would most definitely kill thousands more. His casual disregard for the lives of innocents was once again proven by how willingly he had sacrificed dozens of refugees just to set a trap for Overwatch, for her personally.
Killing him would be doing the world a favor.
And yet...and yet the only way to do so would require using her nanites, specifically programmed and designed to destroy rather than heal; and just thinking about that made her skin crawl with revulsion. It felt so inherently wrong that she couldn't even properly put it into words. She was still upset over Ana and Torbjörn having weaponized her technology, and now for her to do it herself? The irony of it all made her bark out a cynical laugh. Hadn't she berated Ana over her 'end justifies the means' argument just a few short weeks ago?
As if she'd jinxed it, the doors to the med bay opened and none other than Ana walked in. 'Speak of the devil...'
"Ana, is there something I can help you with?" she asked instead, in a surprisingly cordial tone. She just didn't have the energy to argue right now.
The woman approached silently, wearing a neutral expression, and only as she sat down across from her did Angela notice the two steaming mugs in her hands. She accepted the one offered to her and took a tentative sip. Black tea with a dash of milk.
"Uh...thanks?" she ventured, carefully. "Was there something you needed?"
Ana scrutinized her closely for a few moments before she finally broke her silence.
"How are you feeling, Angela?"
Of all the things she could have said, Angela definitely hadn't been expecting that. And it apparently showed.
"Don't look so surprised, now. Even if we...aren't on the best of terms, I still care about the members of my team. And that includes you, whether you like it or not." She took a sip. "So, how are you feeling?"
Angela took another, longer sip; partly to overcome her shock, but also to actually mull over the question. How did she feel? Ana was undoubtedly asking about the incident in the interrogation room, which, as far as Angela was aware, Ana hadn't discussed yet with anyone else. Truth be told, she herself hadn't really thought about it much, had shoved that issue into the deepest recesses of her mind. Like so many other unresolved things that lingered there. And in all honesty, she didn't want to think about it, or discuss it; least of all with Ana.
But she knew a simple "I'm fine." wouldn't get the woman off her back. So she settled for the most honest answer she was willing to give: "Considering the circumstances, I'm doing okay...ish."
Ana fixed her with a long, measuring stare before taking a sip from her own mug.
'Yeah, she's not buying it.'
There was an awkward silence for a few moments before Ana drew in a breath, only to keep whatever she had meant to say locked in her throat. She looked down into her mug, running her fingers over the rim.
Angela fiddled with a button on her lab coat, uncomfortable with this whole situation. She could deal with awkward silences, but in the present company? Not so much.
Finally, Ana seemed to have found the words she'd been looking for. Her eye found Angela's, and the quiet intensity held the medic's gaze captive. "Despite what you might think, Angela, I do care about you. A lot. You were almost like a second daughter to me back in the days...hell, you're basically my daughter-in-law in all but name, now." She paused, looking down at the by now lukewarm tea remaining in her mug.
"What happened yesterday...I know what you're dealing with. All this destruction, and what that degenerate said, it all being because of us...it's a lot to work through. What I came here for is to...to lighten your burden, so to speak."
She paused again, leaning her head back and gazing to the ceiling with a mirthless chuckle. "Sixty years, and it's still so difficult." she murmured, probably more to herself.
Looking back at Angela, she took a deep breath breath and continued:"What I mean to say is: I'm sorry. I truly am. About the rifle, about disappearing an Fareeha, on you...at the time I always thought those were the right choices, and some part of me still does. But I only ever considered it from my perspective; and that's where I was so, so wrong."
She paused again, longer this time, probably waiting for a response from Angela, but none came forth. She had no idea what she should, could say to that.
Ana seemed to take her silence as disapproval, if the slump in her shoulders was any indication. She slowly rose, but didn't leave just yet. "I've put the rifle next to your suit. I won't use it any more, you can do with it whatever you want. Dismantle it, destroy it...it should never have existed in the first place." She looked at Angela again, briefly. "I won't bother you any longer."
With that she turned around, taking her mug with her. Just before she reached the door, Angela called out: "Ana."
The sniper froze and turned around slowly.
"Keep the rifle. I've seen how much good you can actually do with it. Just...use it only for healing unless absolutely necessary." She hesitated briefly, fighting down the petty, vindictive voice in her head. "And thank you. For the apology. We're not square yet, but...I appreciate it."
The ghost of a smile appeared on Ana's face as she inclined her head, turned once again and left the med bay.
Angela kept staring after the woman long after she was gone, until she finally slumped in her chair, massaging her temples with both hands. Ana may have meant well with this olive branch, but she couldn't afford to get distracted, not now. Not when she was about to do what she feared might become the biggest regret of her life.
Fareeha strode through the door as soon as it opened, carrying a plate of sandwiches in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. She was greeted by a familiar sight.
"Let me guess: you haven't taken a break since this morning?" she drawled, already knowing the answer.
Angela looked up from her screens, unruly strands of hair haphazardly tucked behind her ears. Fareeha hadn't thought it possible that Angela could look worse than right after Oujda, but the three days since had definitely proven her wrong. At least she'd managed to talk her into getting some sleep last night, but the other side of their bed had already been cold once Fareeha had woken up for her pre-dawn run.
"This is important, Fareeha." Angela replied, "It needs to be ready the next time we run into...it."
Fareeha sat down in the empty chair next to her, placing the plate in her lap. Experience had shown that Angela tended to ignore food that was simply deposited on the table.
"I know, amar." she answered. "How are things going along?"
Angela glanced at the screen again, absently taking a bite from the sandwich. She seemingly realized only then how hungry she actually was, since she devoured the whole thing in four large bites, and tucked right into the next one.
Only when she was halfway through the third and last sandwich did she pause, looking at the screen again. "It's going well, actually. Very well. It is...disturbingly easy to re-purpose the nanites to do harm."
She brought the sandwich up to her face again, but didn't take a bite. After a few moments she set it back down on the plate, and moved it to the desk. Her dark thoughts had apparently killed her appetite.
"I think it's rather telling how much easier it is to devise implements that kill, rather than heal. The human body is so very delicate; just one little typo in my code could lead to the nanites wreaking havoc in a person's body."
Angela fell silent again, staring at that half-eaten sandwich. Fareeha felt she needed to lighten the mood.
"Well that's that, then. Just type in a few lines of gibberish and let them loose. Problem solved!" she said with a smirk.
Angela actually chuckled, but Fareeha wasn't sure if there was any mirth in it.
"It's not that easy, unfortunately." the Swiss replied. "For one, I want these nanites to work only on the Reaper. And, to be frank, I'm not sure they actually will work at all. I'm not sure what he even is, now...for all we know, what's left of Gabriel could be just a brain in a jar remote-controlling a nanoswarm."
Fareeha laughed in reply, and chose not to comment on Angela even mentioning Gabriel's name for the first time in years. She probably hadn't even realized it.
"I'm sure you'll figure it out. You always do."
She stood up and moved behind Angela, lightly massaging her tense shoulders. Angela closed her eyes with a groan, head falling back against the headrest. A delicate hand came to rest on her own calloused one, and Angela looked at her with eyes full of adoration.
"I love you." the blonde whispered, raw emotion dripping from every syllable.
"I love you too." Fareeha murmured back, leaning down to place a kiss on Angela's forehead. "Remember to take care of yourself, malak. Don't let me sleep alone again tonight."
Angela sighed. "I won't, Rübli." She gave the hand one last squeeze before she sat up straight again. "And now shoo. I have to get back to work if you want me to call it quits before midnight."
Fareeha smiled before leaving the room, taking the plate with her. Angela definitely didn't need any more clutter on her desk.
A quick peek at the clock revealed that Angela had at least tried to keep her promise. One in the morning wasn't too bad, Fareeha had to mentally concede as she scooted over to make space on the bed, welcoming the blonde into her waiting arms as she snuggled up against her sturdy frame.
"Try to sleep a little longer this time?" she asked quietly, running the fingers of her right hand through Angela's hair.
"No promises," the Swiss murmured in reply, suppressing a yawn, "but I'll try."
"That's all I can ask for." was Fareeha's answer before she pressed a gentle kiss to the crown of Angela's head. "I love you, habibti."
"Love you too."
so the original outline had this as the penultimate chapter, but there's at least two more coming (including the epilogue). So you've got something to look forward to (in like half a year or so ._.)
'song' of the day is the new album by converge, The Dusk in Us, which is absolutely brilliant from start to finish.
cheers