Chapter 25 Notes: Just a Stars Hollow Christmas Eve. Thanks for all the comments, suggestions and feedback. I always love hearing from you guys! :) I just received a comment telling me that I mixed up Jess and Jeremy's names a couple of times in this chapter (thank you, AJ Granger!), which doesn't surprise me since I normally do that a few times, then catch it in my last reread before I post the chapter. In retrospect, giving Jeremy another J name wasn't my brightest idea. I just reread this chapter twice and can't find the mix-up's, so if anyone spots an instance where I mixed up the names please let me know where you see it. I think I'm too close to it to catch my own mistake, but I hate the idea of knowing it's out there. Thanks! :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own obsession with Gilmore Girls.
Jeremy woke up to snow on Christmas Eve. Nothing crazy. No one was going to be busting out the emergency water just yet. Just a nice white blanket of snow, an inch or two tops. Jeremy had left Jess asleep and taken Winston over to the town square for the dog's first bathroom break of the day. He was glad to have this opportunity to check out the fresh snow before too many other people were up, tramping through the square, leaving footprints and ruining the effect. Jeremy watched Winston sniff around in the snow, and come up with a dusting of white across his snout, tail wagging. Jeremy understood. The first snow of the winter was something special, and today Jeremy was particularly happy to see the ground covered in a layer of white. He felt relieved, knowing the snow provided him a natural out to not having to test out his bike today. He wanted to learn to ride it, and he genuinely did appreciate the gift. He knew bikes weren't cheap and he liked Luke's thinking behind the gift, that he wanted to give Jeremy the independence to be able to get around town on his own. But, he didn't want to deal with the stress of learning or the shame of avoiding Luke's questions about the bike during Christmas. He was really looking forward to his first Christmas with his forever family and he didn't want it marred by his inability to do something that most four year olds knew how to do. The whole thing made him feel embarrassed and pathetic and he wanted to put it out of his mind until after the holiday, at least. They walked around a little longer, giving Winston time to turn the snow yellow in a few places, then headed back. He and Jess were supposed to go shopping for Christmas presents this morning, and he didn't want to keep Jess waiting.
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Jess woke up to an empty apartment, washed up and threw on clothes to head downstairs. There was a coffee pot in the apartment, but it seemed silly to him to bother turning it on for one cup of coffee when he knew there was already coffee made and waiting in the diner. Plus, at this point, Luke was the one who had bought the coffee in the apartment, so really, he'd be mooching either way. He told himself that after the holiday, when he and Jeremy had settled into a routine, he would be good about doing his own grocery shopping and feeding himself and Jeremy upstairs. He didn't want to take advantage of Luke even more than the free roof over his head. Luke greeted him with a happy smile as he walked into the diner, and Jess justified his coffee thievery by how glad Luke was to see him down there. He was starting to get that more than he ever had, now that he had a kid of his own who he lit up around.
"Hey, Jess. Coffee?" Luke started pouring a cup even as he posed the question.
"Thank you." Jess sat on a stool, accepting the mug and wrapping his hands around its warm sides. He looked around the diner. There were a few customers scattered at tables, but not many. "Slow morning?"
"Yeah, Christmas Eve morning is always slow. I'm going to close up right after lunch. Lunch actually gets pretty busy with all the last minute shoppers stopping in."
"Speaking of which, Jeremy and I will be joining them in a little bit. We're going to head over to the mall in Woodbury and do some Christmas shopping of our own." Jess took a sip of his coffee and felt his body flood with warmth.
"Are you serious? It's going to be nuts at the mall. I wouldn't set foot in the mall today if you paid me."
Jess raised an eyebrow. "How is that different from any other day for you?"
Luke laughed. "You've got a point there, nephew." "We're going to start doing the Christmas cookies at our house around 3:00. Then I need to pick up April from the train station in Hartford at 6:00. You guys are still coming over for the cookies, right?"
"We're planning on it. Should I bring anything?"
Luke was giving him a warm smile. "Just bring my great-nephew and you'll be good." His expression turned serious. "And, Jess, please don't feel like you have to buy anyone Christmas presents this year. After everything you've been through this past month, everyone will understand-"
"Luke, I don't feel like I have to buy anybody anything. But, I want to."
"I know, but-"
Jess cut him off again. "I'm not going to spend a ton of money. I promise I'm not going to show up tomorrow morning with matching his and her Ferrari's for you and Lorelai, ok? But, I want to get something for everyone. Something inexpensive, but thoughtful. I'm feeling really thankful for my family this year, and I want to do something nice for you guys. And, hey, now that I have a job lined up and I'm not paying rent and my landlord's too much of a pushover to toss me out in the snow-" Luke huffed out a laugh. "I'm feeling ok enough that I can buy presents for my loved ones. Are you really trying to steal that one simple joy from me on Christmas Eve? Like a great big flannel-wearing Grinch?"
Jess could tell from the way Luke was smiling at him that he was going to let it go. "All right, nephew. I just don't want you to feel like you have to."
"I don't. Plus, I think Jeremy will be more comfortable, too, if we buy presents. I think it would make him uncomfortable to accept presents without having anything to give anyone else."
Luke nodded, then frowned. "Hey, speaking of Jeremy and presents, I didn't realize he didn't know how to ride a bike. I'm sorry about that. I felt terrible when I realized. I didn't mean to push him like that and make him uncomfortable."
Jeremy was impressed that Luke had caught on and he realized his surprise must have been registered on his face when Luke spoke again. "Lorelai pointed it out after you guys left." Oh. That Jess could picture. "But, thanks for looking so shocked that I might have figured it out on my own, Jess."
Jess laughed. "Sorry. Don't feel bad about it, Luke. Jeremy loves his bike. He loves that he has people who care about him enough to buy him a bike. He's just feeling embarrassed about never having learned to ride. He shouldn't. No one ever got him a bike when he was a kid, so it's not like it's his fault he never learned." "But, it's ok. We'll figure it out. Come spring, he'll be zipping around town like Lance Armstrong. Thanks to your gift, I'll get the chance to teach my kid how to ride a bike." Jess could feel himself smiling as he sipped his coffee.
"Hey, Jess. Don't take this the wrong way, but you do know how to ride a bike, right? I mean, did Liz ever buy you a bike when you were a kid?"
"She did not. I tried out Josh Hudson's bike once as a kid. I can't say it went well. The experience was short-lived and involved a collision with a large trash can. But I'm much older and wiser now."
"Uh, I don't want to sound negative here, but do you think you'll be able to teach Jeremy to ride a bike when you don't really know how yourself?" Jess could hear the concern in Luke's voice.
"Uh, I'm pretty sure that's what youtube is for. You can learn anything on youtube." Jess kept his tone sarcastic and light, even though Luke was getting him a little worried. How hard could it be? Everyone knew how to ride a bike. He wasn't going to turn down one of the quintessential parent-child teaching moments just because of a tiny little issue like not knowing how to ride a bike himself. "Jeremy and I are two reasonably intelligent people. We'll figure it out. But, please don't ask him about the bike or let on that you know he doesn't know how to ride it, ok? I don't want him feeling pressured or embarrassed."
"I won't say anything. His secret is safe with me."
"Thanks." Jess sipped his coffee, thinking about his situation with Jeremy.
"You want eggs or something to go with that coffee?"
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
The mall was packed. After circling around the parking lot for twenty minutes, all Jess's instincts were telling him to abort the mission, but he made himself go in anyway. He really did want to get thank you's for his family members and he wanted to go Christmas shopping with his kid. Jess was cognizant of the fact that this might be his one and only chance, with Jeremy likely heading off to college next year. And, this felt like a holiday memory worth making, even if they did have to brave the crowds to do it.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Jess let Jeremy choose some baby things for Leelee, and after much deliberation, the boy picked out a Winnie the Pooh book.
"That's a solid literary choice." Jess said.
Jeremy was looking down at the book in his hands. "I remember really liking Winnie the Pooh when I was little."
There was a display of the plush characters from the book nearby. "How about you pick out a stuffed animal to go with it?"
Jeremy went right for the sad-looking plush donkey. Jess chuckled. "Eeyore, huh? Why him?"
"Oh, uh, I just remember having one when I was little. I really liked it, but I didn't get to take it with me after everything with my parents…..." Jeremy blushed and put the stuffed donkey back, picking up a yellow bear instead. "But, yeah, we can get Leelee a Winnie the Pooh instead, if you want."
Jess instantly felt like an ass for laughing. He should have known that stuff from Jeremy's early childhood would be sensitive for him. Jess retrieved the stuffed donkey from the display and handed it to Jeremy. "Let's take this little guy, too, for the apartment. Winston's been looking lonely, and I think he needs a buddy."
Jess heard Jeremy huff out a soft breath as the boy followed Jess to the cash register.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
They made decent time, moving around the mall, making what Jess hoped were thoughtful purchases for everyone in their family. With a roof over their heads and a job starting in a week, Jess felt like he finally had room to breathe. He felt generous and wanted to show his thanks to his family who had welcomed him back when he had been in such desperate need. Jess picked up a book for Rory that he had edited two years ago at Truncheon. Everything about the book had made him think of her at the time, but they hadn't been talking back then for him to make the recommendation. For Lorelai, they picked out two skeins of very fancy and pricey yarn along with two specialty knitting needles, one engraved with an 'L' on the end, the other with a 'G.' Jess knew nothing about knitting, but the sales associate at the craft store helped them pick out a commonly used needle size and the right weight of yarn to be used with it. Jess had never bought Lorelai a gift before, or done anything this thoughtful for her, and it made him feel weird and mature at the same time.
Jeremy dragged Jess over to a kiosk that sold crystals and new age stuff that Jess would not have looked at twice on his own, but he had to admit that everything on display looked like something Liz would appreciate. Jeremy settled on a necklace with a pendant crafted from a gemstone that according to the sales associate was supposed to be linked to the third eye chakra and strengthen the intuition and heal the heart of the wearer. Jess didn't really believe in any of it, but in the off chance that the crystal performed as promised, he thought those were good choices for Liz. They picked up a book for Doula and a craft kit for making colorful beaded jewelry. Jeremy thought it might be something fun for Doula and Liz to do together. TJ was more difficult because even after all these years, Jess didn't feel like he knew the man very well. He gave Jeremy free reign on that one, and the boy came back with a pair of thick house socks with a message written across the bottom, 'if you can read this, bring me a beer.' Jess smiled and figured it was good enough.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Jess pulled his phone out of his pocket and read the message on the screen, as they walked through the mall, laden with shopping bags. He smiled and turned to Jeremy. "It's Luke. He just closed the diner. He walked Winston like I asked, and he wants to know if it's ok if he brings him back to his house with him so Winston has company. What do you think?" Jess cocked an eyebrow. "Do we trust this guy with our dog?"
Jeremy smiled. "Yeah, we do. That's really nice of Luke to think of Winston like that."
"Well, Luke is a really nice guy. Being a nice guy runs in the family." Jess quickly typed a message back to Luke.
"Yeah, it does." Jess looked up from his phone to find Jeremy smiling at him. He smiled back, feeling like this time with his kid made braving the holiday crowds worthwhile.
Jess tucked his phone back into his pocket. "So, speaking of Luke, he and April are the only people left on our list, and I know what I want to get them, but it's the same thing that I'm getting you, so you tell me how you want to do this." Jess felt good about their purchases so far, but he knew that his idea for Luke and April was the best one he'd had. "Do you want to separate so that you'll still be surprised tomorrow morning?"
Jeremy frowned. "How can it be from both of us if I don't even know what it is?" Jeremy had originally wanted to use his own money and buy separate gifts, but Jess had convinced him that everyone would want him to keep his money for school, and that they should pick out presents together that would be from both of them.
"Hmm." Jess said. "I see your point."
"And, it's crazy in here, and I don't have a phone. If we separate, we might never find each other again."
Jess laughed. "Well, I definitely don't want that. I would miss you too much." He put a hand on Jeremy's back and guided him over to the sports memorabilia section of the store they were in. "All right, so I'm thinking I want to do something really nice for Luke to thank him for everything he's done for us, right?"
Jeremy nodded, expression earnest. "Yeah, definitely."
"And, I know Luke would love for us to all go to a Red Sox game at Fenway together this spring."
Jeremy's eyes lit up at that. "Yeah, he's been talking about that since I met him."
"Right. So, I'm thinking I want us to get him the tickets. I know he'd buy them himself, but I really want to do this for him so that he knows how much we appreciate him and that we really want to go with him."
"I do really want to go with him." Jeremy said.
"I know you do. But I wasn't as thoughtful as you are when I was your age. I've been thinking about how I never really wanted to do anything with him when I lived with him the first time around." Jess thought about Luke telling Jeremy that his best bonding time with Jess had been working at the diner with him, and the guilt Jess had felt knowing it was true and that he had never given his uncle very much of his time otherwise. "This time I want him to know that I'm willing to do stuff for him, just because it means something to him, even if it's something I don't care about, like baseball. The same way he's always done for me."
Jeremy gave Jess a small smile. "That's really nice, Jess."
"And, I figure I'll get a ticket for April, too, since she's in Boston. I want the four of us to do something special for Luke, just us, our side of the family. And, I need to talk to April about dates, but I'm thinking maybe we could do it in June, around father's day, if the Red Sox are at home that weekend."
Jeremy was nodding slowly. "I think that would be so great, Jess. I think Luke will love that."
Jess smiled warmly at Jeremy, proud of himself for coming up with the idea and proud of Jeremy for caring enough about Luke to be so enthusiastic about it. "Yeah, I think he will, too. So, I checked online and the tickets aren't on sale yet, but I'm thinking we can just get them each something Red Sox related to open tomorrow as a placeholder, and then we can tell them about the tickets."
"That sounds good." Jeremy started looking through items in the sports displays, bobble-head dolls, stadium blankets, oversized cups and pennants. "This seems to be all Patriots and Bruins, though."
"Yeah, we might be out of luck for baseball stuff this time of year." Jess picked up a bobble head and held it up to Jeremy for his approval. "What about this guy? This might be the closest we can get."
Jeremy laughed. "Should I be worried that you think that's even remotely close?"
"Oh, c'mon." Jess shook the doll in his hand making his head bobble on his neck. "What says Boston sports better than Tom Brady?"
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
"No way!" Jeremy laughed. "Seriously?" He was sitting at the kitchen table with Rory and Lorelai, squeezing red frosting out of piping bag, working on the outline of what looked to Jess like a santa hat, neatly drawn on a sugar cookie.
Jess was leaning back against the counter watching them work, while Luke took another batch of cookies out of the oven. Jess wasn't sure why he hadn't sat down at the table with everyone else when they first got started. He had automatically removed himself from the action and fallen into observer mode, as he typically did when he was at family events with Lorelai and Rory.
"I kid you not." Rory said. "We used to buy dozens of sugar cookies at Weston's bakery and bring them home and decorate them every year. But, Luke never approved of that particular Gilmore family Christmas tradition." Lorelai grinned mischievously and Rory shot a glance at her stepfather, a smirk on her face as she awaited his reaction. It was obvious to Jess that this was familiar territory for all of them, a Gilmore-Danes family anecdote that he wasn't a part of.
Luke was lifting the freshly baked cookies off the cookie sheet one by one with a spatula and setting them on a wire cooling rack. "It was a waste of money! You guys would spend sixty or seventy dollars on cookies and then come home and decorate them yourselves. It made no sense, and things that make no sense drive me crazy!"
Lorelai turned to Jeremy and spoke in a stage whisper. "It's really amazing that Luke has lasted around here as long as he has with that attitude." Jeremy and Rory grinned.
Jess pulled a fresh cookie off the cooling rack and took a bite, feeling like an outsider, but unsure whether he should sit at the table and participate, not wanting to kill the fun family atmosphere that the Gilmores had going with Jeremy, but knowing that if he wanted anything to really change, he would need to start with his own behavior.
"And." Luke continued. "I could have lived with that level of lunacy. I wouldn't have liked it, but I could have lived with it. But that one year, Christmas 2014, was too much. It pushed me right over the edge!" Luke's warm expression belied his outrage.
Jeremy smiled and took the bait. "What happened in 2014?"
"Well." Rory started. "We didn't make it to Westin's until the afternoon of Christmas Eve that year."
"Traditionally, we purchase our cookies in the morning, but Rory had missed the early train from New York." Lorelai added.
"And, when we got to Westin's, they were all out of sugar cookies!" Rory paused for dramatic effect and Jess watched Jeremy smile, completely charmed. Jess understood. He'd been there. "All they had left were sugar cookies that had already been decorated! It was terrible! We didn't know what to do!" Jess smiled as he watched Rory theatrically play up the horror of the event.
"So, we bought a few dozen of those guys." Lorelai picked up the story.
"Ninety-two dollars worth!" Luke said from the counter. "I saw the receipt. You two bought ninety-two dollars worth of frosted sugar cookies, brought them home, sat at that very table and scraped off all the frosting with a knife and then redecorated them yourselves."
Jeremy laughed, and Jess's smile grew as he watched his kid enjoying himself.
"Well, duh." Lorelai said with an exaggerated eye roll, as if their reasoning should be obvious. "Decorating them ourselves was the whole point."
Luke set another plate of sugar cookies in the middle of the table, smiling at the memory of his wife and stepdaughter's ridiculous behavior. "It was madness! I couldn't take it!"
"And." Rory said. "That's why, to this day, Westin's cookies are banned in this house at Christmas."
"Hey, mine are just as good and they cost twelve cents a cookie to make." Luke said.
"Yours are amazing, hon." Lorelai smiled brightly at Luke as she reached for another cookie to decorate. "And now that you're living here, the oven finally has a friend and isn't lonely anymore, so it's a win-win!"
Jess smiled at that and inadvertently met Lorelai's eye. She smiled warmly. "Hey, Jess, are you going to come help us out or what? I know it's a lot of pressure to have your artwork go up against my happy little trees over here." Lorelai held up a cookie decorated with a lopsided green christmas tree with dots of red and white colored frosting in the branches for ornaments. "But, these cookies are not going to decorate themselves. I think we need all hands on deck."
Jess returned Lorelai's smile and slowly peeled himself away from the counter, washed his hands at the sink, and made his way over to the table, pulling out an empty chair, thinking about how unnatural it could feel to change course even when you knew you needed to. "All right." He said, sitting down and looking over the supplies on the table. "So, just to be clear, is the Christmas theme mandatory? Cause all I'm really good at drawing are stick people." Jess caught Jeremy's eye and they shared a smile.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Later that night, Jeremy was walking Winston around Luke and Lorelai's back yard, waiting for the dog to pick a spot, when he heard the front door of the house open and close behind him. He turned to see April coming down the stairs, bundled up for the weather with Paul Anka on a leash beside her.
"Oh, sorry!" Jeremy said as the girl approached. "I should have brought Paul Anka out with us."
"That's ok. I don't mind taking him out. I needed a little air anyway. Sometimes when it's just me and the four of them." April tilted her head back toward the house. "And, they're all actually getting along like they are today, I kind of feel like I'm crashing a double date or something."
Jeremy furrowed his brow, not sure how to interpret that. If anything, he got the impression that Jess was always the odd man out in the family when the Gilmores were involved. "What do you mean?"
"Oh." April looked embarrassed at what she said, which only served to confuse Jeremy more. "Nothing. I don't know why I said that. I actually really like it when they're all getting along like this. Sorry, I'm just in a weird mood, I guess."
Jeremy nodded slowly. "Yeah, it's nice that Jess is getting along with Lorelai and Rory. The first couple of times I saw him with them, things were kind of…...tense, maybe."
"Yeah." April agreed. "I've definitely seen my share of tension between those guys. It's never fun."
"Can I ask you a question?"
Jeremy thought he saw a nervous expression flicker across April's face, but she sounded normal when she answered. "Yeah, of course, you can. Of all people, I totally get what it's like to be new to the family and have questions."
"Well, what's the story with Jess and the Gilmores anyway? I mean, he and Rory were already adults when Luke and Lorelai got together, right? So, it's not like Lorelai was ever a stepmom type person in his life as a kid. And, up until now, he lived out of state and only came home a few times a year. I guess I'm just wondering why things were bad between them in the past. I mean, all three of them are really nice people, and they're all kind of related through Luke now."
April frowned. "It's complicated. You're right, Jess was an adult when my dad and Lorelai started dating, but from what I understand, they were already interested in each other when Jess lived here for high school. And, to hear my dad tell it, Jess and Lorelai had issues with each other right off the bat. And, it caused my dad a lot of stress because he loved Jess and he already cared about Lorelai."
Jeremy nodded, grateful that she was sharing with him and not just telling him that her family's past was none of his business. "But, what was the actual issue with Jess and Lorelai? It just seems really weird to me that when Jess was my age, he would have a problem with a random grown woman who wasn't even dating his uncle yet. I mean, it would be like me having some kind of problem with Liz or Rory or something. It seems strange, like we wouldn't have enough in common or spend enough time around each other for me to have a real problem with them. Was Luke forcing them to spend time together to try to get them to get along?"
"Ummm….." Jeremy could tell April was considering her words carefully. "That didn't happen until they were dating and my dad starting trying to bring them together at holidays and stuff. Earlier, like when Jess was in high school, I don't think my dad was the reason that Jess and Lorelai didn't like each other." "But, I think maybe you should ask Jess about this if you want to know more about his issues with Lorelai. I'm not sure I have it all right, anyway." April paused. "By the time I joined the family, Jess was already an adult and living in Philadelphia. So, I wasn't there for the early days of the Jess-Gilmore drama."
Jeremy thought about how April had come to the family late, too, younger than he was now, but still not the normal way. "What was it like for you? To find your dad when you were eleven and have this whole new family?" Jeremy shot a glance toward April to gauge her reaction. "Is it ok that I asked that?"
April laughed. "Yeah, it's totally fine to ask about that. It was definitely weird! Like, so weird! I mean, I was a happy kid. I have no complaints about my life before I met my dad. My mom is really great." April paused. "But, I was always curious about my dad. I mean, when you're a kid, you always want the stuff you don't have, especially when everyone else has it, right? I definitely spent time wondering who my dad was, what he looked like and what he was like. Whether he knew about me. I think most kids who grow up not knowing their father feel a little unfinished, identity-wise, even if that have a super awesome mom, like I did." Jess watched April shrug, as if her childhood pain was water under the bridge. He supposed maybe it was, now that everything had worked out and she had Luke in her life.
"I can understand that." Jeremy looked out into the dark as he spoke. "I was five when I lost my parents, so I have these vague, kind of sense memories of them….but, I didn't really 'know' them as people. I mean, what do you really know when you're five? I knew they loved me. But, I have always wondered about them, too. What they were like and everything, as people. What it would have been like to have them in my life."
They were both quiet for a moment, and Jeremy worried that he had made April uncomfortable by bringing up his parents. "When you met Luke, you must have been really happy. I mean, you completely hit the jackpot as far as dad's go."
Jeremy watched April smile in the dark. "Yeah, my dad's pretty great. I still wonder what my life would have been like if he'd been in it when I was little, but I'm glad I got to have him for at least part of my childhood. And, he was so good about everything, like he was very serious about wanting to be my dad from the beginning, even though things were so awkward at first." April chuckled softly.
"What do you mean awkward? Luke seems like he's such a natural around kids, like with Doula and Leelee and everything. And, he made me feel comfortable the first time I met him." Jeremy thought back to that first trip to Stars Hollow, when he hadn't yet known where he stood with Jess, but Luke had openly and lovingly welcomed him to the family anyway, and he had secretly wished Luke had been his foster father instead of Jess.
April laughed out loud. "Luke is a natural with kids! Oh my god, you're killing me right now!" She smiled at Jeremy. "Um, if you think my dad is good with kids and is a good great-uncle to you, it's because Jess and I trained him. He was so not a natural with me when we first met! Don't get me wrong, he had good intentions, always, but even just having a conversation was so awkward. He didn't know what to say to me at all. Like he could barely even talk to me. He once asked me if I wanted to sit in the diner and color, at eleven years old!" April laughed at the memory and the infectiousness of her laugh coupled with the ridiculousness of Luke's past suggestion made Jeremy grin. "He threw me the most awkward birthday party ever until Lorelai saved it. He held it in the diner and he made kids actually form a line to use the bathroom. Seriously. Oh! And he chaperoned a field trip for my class and he was so embarrassing, always talking to this boy that I liked because they were both Red Sox fans. Ugh, that was the worst!"
Jeremy waited for April's laughter to taper off. "But, you guys ended up close. I mean, you guys seem so good now."
"We are. He's a great dad. It just took him a while to…...settle into the role, I guess you could say. But, I think it's always a harder adjustment when the a kid is older and the parent doesn't have them from the start and have the time to slowly get comfortable with the whole parenting thing." She turned to look at him. "I bet it was the same with Jess. That it took him time to become a good dad to you."
"I guess. Things were pretty uncomfortable at the beginning. But, I think in our case that was more my fault. I was old enough that I should have made things easier than I did." Jeremy recalled talking back to Jess on his first night in his apartment, lying about the peanut allergy and repeatedly losing it and bursting into tears on his new foster father.
"I doubt Jess sees it that way." April said seriously, before smirking. "Although, the last time I saw you guys, I was really worried that Jess was going to kill you over the peanut allergy situation."
Jeremy could feel his face warming and hoped April couldn't tell in the dark. He also hoped she didn't ask him why he had done it. "Yeah, I thought he was going to kill me, too. But, he was actually really understanding about that. Totally forgave me and hugged me and everything." Jeremy remembered breaking down on the drive home and Jess holding him on the side of the road and promising him that we wasn't alone any more.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up. Don't tell Jess. He'll be pissed at me for mentioning it to you."
"It's ok. I know it was a dumb thing to do."
April sighed. "It's funny to think of Jess as a grown-up and someone's dad. Not that I can't see him being good at it. I can. It's just strange."
Jeremy wasn't sure what to say to that, but he still had one more question he wanted to ask April while they were alone. He hesitated out of worry that the question would be too transparent and leave him exposed and vulnerable, with April able to recognize what he was really trying to say. But, he figured this might be the only one-on-one time he got with April over the holiday. "So, uh, can I ask you one more thing about when you first met Luke?"
"Yeah, of course." April smiled broadly, and Jeremy felt a swell of gratitude for how open and welcoming she had been to him since Jess brought him home the first time. He could easily picture all the other ways she could have treated him with them being so close in age, not making time for him or taking him seriously, or being threatened by his place in Jess's life, like he had been when he had first met her.
"How long did it take before you got to start calling him 'dad'?"
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Jess and Jeremy were walking idly around the outskirts of the town square finishing their hot ciders and giving Winston one more chance to relieve himself before bed. They had all come out to watch the Stars Hollow tree lighting ceremony which had concluded about half an hour ago. Like most things in Stars Hollow, it confounded Jess, since the large tree in the square had been lit every night since they had arrived in town, but he had already learned not to ask stupid questions unless he wanted frustrating answers, so he just smiled and drank his cider. Some people were still milling around the square, but the rest of their family had already headed home. April had decided to stay on the couch at chez Gilmore so that she could be there for Christmas morning to watch Leelee open her gifts. Jess and Jeremy weren't going to head over until later that morning to exchange gifts and have lunch with the family. Jess liked the idea of having the early hours of Christmas with just Jeremy and Winston, his small little family of three. He had a giftcard to give Jeremy so the boy could replace some of the clothes he had lost in the fire. Jess wanted the kid to be able to get some things for school that he had picked out himself. He knew his present wasn't much and he wanted to give it to him in private along with a card with a few sentimental words in it about how much he loved Jeremy and valued having him for a son. He was feeling extremely grateful to his family for making today so good for Jeremy. He worried that the holiday would have been as depressing as Jeremy's birthday in Philadelphia if his family had left him to his own devices.
"Did you have a good time today?" Jeremy asked hesitantly, and Jess looked over toward him.
"I had a very good time. How about you?"
"I did, too." Jeremy nodded. "It was the best Christmas Eve I've ever had. I just…..I just want to thank you for everything you've done for me, Jess. I want you to know how much I appreciate you being so awesome to me and sharing your amazing family with me. I had a really great day today. Thank you for that."
Jess wrapped his arm around Jeremy's shoulders, pulling him against his side for a half hug. "You don't need to thank me, Jeremy. I've loved having you in my life these past few months. Whatever you think I've done for you, whatever you think you've gotten out of our relationship, please know that you've given me so much more."
"Aww….." Jess watched the wide grin spread across Jeremy's face as the boy responded. "I love you, Jess. Even when you're completely full of crap."
Jess laughed and shook Jeremy lightly against him. "Aw, that's my sweet little boy! I love you, too, even when you're being a smartass!" Jess smiled as he listened to Jeremy's laughter.
