Chapter 39 Notes: Jeremy learns something new about Jess. I think I can see the wind down of this story coming soon. I am enjoying working on this story so much, but I only have a few more plot points that I want to have happen before the wrap up. Thanks to everyone who has stuck with this story and is still leaving me reviews after all these chapters. I really appreciate it. I can't tell you how much it makes my day to hear your feedback and know that something I've written has resonated with someone out there.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own obsession with Gilmore Girls
"Hey, Luke." Jess walked into the diner mid-afternoon on Saturday. He had taken a late lunch from the bookstore so that he would be able to talk to Luke when the diner wasn't so crowded and Jeremy wasn't around. After working an early shift, the boy had gone to Cassidy's house for a group study session.
"Hey, Jess!" Luke smiled at the sight of his nephew. "You eating?"
Jess perched himself on a stool at the counter across from Luke. "Sure, if that's ok." Jess tried not to eat at the diner very often. Luke wouldn't take his money and it didn't seem right to have Luke serve him a free lunch when the man was already putting a free roof over his head.
Luke smiled. "Of course, it's ok. It's always ok. What can I get you?"
"Uh, can I try the hummus and veggie wrap? Jeremy says it's his favorite. He keeps telling me I need to check it out."
"Good choice. It has been pretty popular since I added it to the menu." Luke turned to walk away.
"Hey, Luke. Could I talk to you for a few minutes?"
Luke paused. "Yeah, sure." Luke pointed a thumb over his shoulder toward the kitchen. "Cesar's back there. Let me just go put your order in, and I'll be right back."
Jess watched his uncle walk away, stick his head in the kitchen and call out his order to Cesar, and walk back toward him with obvious concern on his face. "Is everything ok, Jess?"
"Yeah. Everything's fine. Did, uh, did Jeremy tell you that he's going to be staying around here next year for school?"
Luke grinned. "He did. He was really excited about it. And, I'm excited that we're going to have him around longer. I'm really going to miss that kid when he moves away."
Jess gave his uncle a sad smile. "You and me, both."
"So, what did you want to talk about?" Luke looked interested, but was no longer wearing the worried look and that made Jess feel better.
"That, I guess. I just wanted to make sure it was ok with you if we hang around another year. I know you were probably thinking you'd get rid of us when he left for school. That maybe I'd get my own place, now that I have a job and everything." Jess felt a swell of shame that his life was at a point where this conversation was necessary. "I just wanted to run the new plan by you and make sure it's ok for us to keep staying in the apartment."
Luke smiled. "Don't be ridiculous. It's more than ok. It's great, Jess. I'm happy you're staying. I'm in no rush to get rid of either one of you. I love having you guys around. Are you honestly telling me that you don't know that, kid?" Luke's expression was so full of love and sincerity that Jess felt a little choked up.
"I mostly knew that. But, now that the place has its own entrance, you could rent it out to tenants and make some money off it. You could use it as a real investment property."
"I already have tenants."
Jess rolled his eyes. "I meant paying tenants. I'm technically a moocher, not a tenant."
Luke laughed. "You're not mooching. You're family. I don't want to have strangers living in my place. I don't see myself ever renting it out and dealing with all that hassle. A lot of my stuff is still up there. And, even if you moved away, I would want to keep the place so you and April and Jeremy would still have somewhere to stay when you visit. The new entrance was for Winston, and maybe for later." Luke waved a hand as if dismissing the idea all together.
"What do you mean for later?"
"Well, I'd been thinking about giving the apartment its own entrance for a while. I want it to qualify as a rental unit so that you guys can rent it out after I'm gone, when you and April own it."
Jess furrowed his brow. "What are you talking about?"
"My estate planning." Luke said it casually, as if estate planning was something they discussed frequently, or ever.
"Your estate planning? Could you be a little less maudlin?" Jess laughed, then felt himself getting alarmed. "Hey, everything's ok, right, Luke?"
"What?" Luke looked momentarily confused. "Oh, yeah, Jess." Luke smiled. "Thank you for your concern, but everything's fine."
Jess leaned slightly forward, really studying his uncle, for signs of lying or illness. "And, you'd tell me if it wasn't, right?"
Luke was looking at Jess fondly. "Yes, nephew. I would tell you. I told you a while back, when I thought I might have cancer, didn't I? That should give me some credibility here."
Jess eased up and pulled back from his uncle. "I suppose it does."
Luke chuckled. "Thanks. You don't sound too convinced."
"If everything's ok, why are we talking about estate planning?"
"Because, a person needs to get that stuff taken care of before everything becomes not ok." Luke explained. "And, I started a mutual fund for Doula when she was born. It's already pretty substantial. Plus, she'll have Liz and TJ leaving her stuff, maybe their house. I don't want you to think I haven't thought of her, but I want you and April to get my place. You guys both lived there with me and helped me out in the diner." Jess watched an emotion pass across Luke's face that could be sadness or nostalgia. "You were kind of my kid, too, for a while there."
Jess felt a lump forming in his throat at the idea of Luke lumping him in with April in his estate planning, as kind of his kid. Having a kid of his own was making him so damn sentimental it was ridiculous.
"I'm still kind of your kid." Jess said it honestly, a rare sincere moment.
"Yeah you are." Luke gave him a warm smile, his eyes betraying his own emotions. He cleared his throat. "So, the way I figure it, you guys will have two streams of income from this place. You can rent the residential space and hire someone, maybe Cesar if he's still around, to manage the diner for you. I thought about leaving one of you the diner and one of you the apartment, I actually had them broken down into separate legal units, but that didn't seem fair since the diner makes more money than the rental will. Plus, I like the idea of you guys sharing both and needing to talk to each other every so often to discuss your investments." Luke grinned.
Jess nodded slowly, the idea of Luke's death hitting him hard. He thought about how much he would miss Luke when the man was no longer around. How he would be losing the greatest support system he had ever had in his life. "I'm very honored to be in your will alongside April, honestly, but can we please talk about something less depressing that you're death? You're bumming me out."
Jess noticed that Luke hadn't mentioned the ice cream shoppe. He assumed that meant that it was being left to Rory and he felt a childish twinge of jealousy at her being included as someone who was kind of Luke's kid, too. He tried not to let the thought devalue his own position. He knew Rory had a crazy inheritance from both her grandmother and her father coming her way and that she would inherit Lorelai's house and that Leelee had a father who was so rich he made the Gilmore's look middle class, but he could understand Luke wanting to leave her something that was personal to her anyway. She was his stepdaughter, after all, and that certainly qualified her as kind of his kid. Out of the three of them, Luke had had the longest relationship with Rory. And, even though he and April tended to sub-classify their family into two groups, one of just them and Luke, and now Jeremy, and one that included the Gilmores, Jess knew Luke didn't think of it that way. Luke just saw one family with three people who he considered his kids.
Luke laughed. "Sorry. I certainly didn't mean to bum you out. When you get older you have to think of these things. You'll see."
"I don't know about that. I think the upside of having a ten year old Mazda as your only asset is not getting bogged down in estate planning details. Possibly the only upside, but hey, it still counts."
Luke looked at him seriously. "Your situation is temporary, Jess. You need to believe that. You have a job. You're bringing money in. Saving it. Things are already on the upswing."
Jess nodded. "Yeah. You're right." He agreed, not wanting Luke to think he was feeling sorry for himself. He had meant it as a joke, but he supposed it had hit too close to home for him to have been able to carry off the delivery.
Luke sighed, giving Jess a look that he couldn't read. "Bottom line is I'm fine with you staying here for as long as you need to. I love having you guys here. Both of you. Even if Jeremy was going away to school, I would still love having you here." "I actually have something I want to talk to you about that's kind of related to this."
"Do you want me to pay rent?" Jess felt a wave of shame that he hadn't insisted on doing so as soon as he got a job. Luke was right. He had a job and money coming in. He should have stopped freeloading as soon as he received his first paycheck "I can." He rushed to add. "That's no problem. I should have been doing that-"
"Jess, don't be silly." Luke cut him off. "I don't want you to pay rent. It's bad enough you give me money for utilities." A customer came in and Luke's eye went to the door. "I don't want to talk about it now. Maybe I can take you out for dinner one night this week, just the two of us."
Jess smirked. "You want to feed me somewhere that isn't the diner or your house?" Jess was puzzled by all the secrecy. "I'm intrigued. Can you give me a hint what it's about?"
Luke smiled. "Sorry, nephew. It's a secret." Luke started to walk away to greet the new customer.
Jess didn't like the neediness in his own voice when he stopped his uncle again. "Hey, Luke." The man paused and looked back at him. "You think I'm doing the right thing for Jeremy by letting him stay with me another year, right?"
A slow smile spread across Luke's face. "I do, nephew. I think it's the right thing for both of you."
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Jeremy sat on the couch watching Rory, without trying to look like he was watching her. He had found her beautiful from the first time he had seen her, but he had never had a chance to observe her this close up before, seated next to him, intently concentrating on his face. "Let me know if I'm hurting you at any point, ok?" He felt her gently dab around his eye with the tip of something that looked like an extra wide tube of orange tinted lipstick.
"Ok. Thanks again for doing this. I really appreciate it."
She smiled as she worked, gently dabbing small spots of the stuff along his cheekbone. "It's my pleasure, Jeremy. Yearbook pictures are a big deal. You don't want yours memorializing this black eye." She smirked. "People will think you're some kind of delinquent."
He smiled and it must have made his face move because she smiled and scolded him.
"Hey, hold still, mister. This is serious work I'm doing over here."
"Sorry."
"Are you excited to be almost done with high school?" Rory asked, her eyes trained on the darkened area under his eye instead of meeting his gaze. Her focus made Jeremy more comfortable. He couldn't imagine being this close to her and having her looking straight at him. It wasn't that he was attracted to her or had a crush on her or anything. She was his cousin, after all, and an adult. She was just really beautiful. Jeremy didn't have a lot of experience being around beautiful women and it made him a little nervous.
"Yeah. I'm so ready for it to be over. High school's been tough. I'm really ready for college. I think college will be a better experience for me than high school was."
Rory pulled back a little and looked right at him then, her head tilted to one side, her expression filled with a familiar pitying concern that always let Jeremy know he had said something too revealing. He didn't want her to pity him. He started to feel a blush coming on and hoped she wouldn't notice.
She nodded her head. "I think college will be better for you, too. My college years were definitely better than my high school years. High school is tough for everyone, even the kids that don't make it look that way. I didn't understand that until I was much older." She paused, but maintained eye contact. "I know your situation made everything so much harder, and I think it's so impressive that you were able to keep yourself on track and get good grades and graduate on time despite everything you were dealing with. I think that's really amazing."
Rory smiled and went back to gently dabbing the stick against his skin. "Thanks, Rory." In truth, Jeremy was tired of people being impressed by his ability to reach the most minimal milestones of adolescence, despite his situation. But, it felt sincere coming from Rory and he really did appreciate it. "Luke said you were the class valedictorian when you graduated high school. That's so awesome. He said your speech was so good that it made him tear up."
Rory smiled. She raised a finger to his face to gently blend the dots of orange makeup into his skin, being careful to tread lightly over his bruise. "Luke's a big softie. He told me that you changed your mind about going away to school and that you're thinking of applying to Wollaston Community College."
"Yeah. I just finished my application last night. I haven't heard back from them yet, but I think I'm going to get in. Unless, they're already full or something." Jeremy swallowed. "That probably seems lame to you. I know you went to Yale and everything."
"It doesn't seem lame to me at all." Rory turned toward the makeup bag on the coffee table and dug through it. "I actually think I understand the need to stay close to your parent. My whole life I was set on going to Harvard. It had been my dream since I was five. And, when I got accepted-"
"You got accepted to Harvard? Wow! That's amazing! You got into Harvard and Yale?"
Rory turned back toward Jeremy with a smirk on her face, and a flesh colored tube of concealer and a bag of small white triangles that looked like they were made of foam in her hands. "Princeton, too, but, hey, who's counting!"
"Wow! Just, wow…" Jeremy was impressed and speechless. He felt like such a loser in comparison.
Rory squirted some of the concealer onto one of the triangle sponges. "My point is, that once I got into Harvard, I realized how hard it would be for me to be that far away from my mom. We've always been so close. She was my best friend growing up. While my friends were counting down the days until they could get away from their parents, I was getting more and more nervous about leaving my mom. I picked Yale over Harvard so that I could be closer to her. I even made her spend the first night of college in my dorm room with me because I wasn't ready to be away from her."
"Really? They let you do that?"
Rory shrugged. "Probably not officially, but no one knew except the other girls on my floor. If felt embarrassing at the time, to not be able to handle my first night on my own, but it was part of our relationship. And, I love my relationship with my mom too much to wish any aspect of it away."
Jeremy watched Rory reach toward him and felt the soft edge of the triangle of sponge as she dabbed the concealer onto his face and gently blended it into his skin. "And, your relationship with Jess kind of reminds me of me and my mom when I was your age. So, I get it. I don't think it's lame at all."
"Thanks." Jeremy reflected on Rory being smart and well-rounded enough to get into three Ivy League schools. And, about April and how her interest in science had gotten her into Luke's family and into MIT. "You and April were like two perfect kids, huh?"
Rory laughed, not unkindly, but Jeremy still felt instantly embarrassed at what he had said.
"I don't know about perfect, but we were pretty good kids. I'll give you that much. Especially when it came to school." Jeremy watched the small secret smile on Rory's face and knew she was remembering something that made her happy. "And, my mom went to Wollaston Community College, so I don't think there's anything wrong with you going there, too."
"She did? I didn't know that. What did she study?"
"Business. She got an associates degree. She got pregnant with me in high school. She finished high school back then, but she didn't feel like she could go on to college, with a new baby to take care of and everything, so she ended up going back to school later, when I was in eighth grade."
"That's really cool that she did that."
"Yeah, it is." Rory added more concealer to her sponge. "She went part-time, so it took her a few years to finish. She graduated during my junior year of high school."
"That's awesome. It had to be pretty cool to get to watch your mom graduate." Jeremy thought about how happy it must have made Rory to watch Lorelai get to have something that she had given up to raise her. He wondered if he would ever get to see Jess go back to school.
Jeremy watched the smile fade from Rory's face as she continued to gently add more concealer and keep blending it into his skin.
"I actually didn't get to see her graduate."
"Really?" Jeremy is watching Rory closely now as she works on him. "How come?" He instantly regretted the question. It might be too personal, and he had no right to her story. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked that. It's none of my business."
"It's ok. I don't mind telling you. It's stupid, really. You probably won't think I was a perfect child after this. The day of her graduation…...I thought it would be a good idea to skip school and go into New York to surprise…...this boy I liked who had moved there. I really liked him, and I didn't know when I was going to see him again. And, it's so stupid and embarrassing now, but he had called the night before, for the first time since he had left, and it just felt really urgent that I see him that day. I can't really explain why. So, I took the bus into the city and got to hang out with the boy I liked. I even bought my mom a graduation present while I was there. This old record of a band she liked. But, the bus that was supposed to get me back in time for my mom's graduation ended up being delayed, and I missed the ceremony entirely. I even forgot her present on the bus. I felt so terrible. I had pretty much talked her into walking at graduation and then I didn't even show up. And, she has always shown up for me."
Jeremy couldn't stop staring at her. The story sounded familiar and it only took him a moment to realize where he recognized it from. He saw the motel room back in Philadelphia. Remembered crying while Jess lectured him about running off to New York with Melissa. Heard Jess telling him a story about his own high school crush, a girl he was really into in Stars Hollow who had skipped school to come to New York to see him. The detail about her missing an important family event thrown in to demonstrate that Jess understood how young love could make an otherwise sane and rational teenage behave selfishly and recklessly. Jeremy's mind was blown. He tried to hold back his smile so he wouldn't look suspicious.
"Ok, kiddo. I think you're good to go!" Rory put the cap back on the concealer and tossed the tube back into her makeup bag. "Let's go take a look in the mirror so you can check it out."
Jeremy let the goofy smile spread across his face as he followed Rory to the downstairs bathroom, but quickly toned it down as they stood side by side looking at the mirror. His eye looked perfect. She had worked magic.
"Wow, this is amazing. Thank you so much. I can't tell there's a bruise at all."
Jeremy moved his eyes to Rory's reflection and watched her smile in the mirror. "That's the power of well applied makeup. It can hide almost any flaw, if you know the right tricks."
Jeremy looked back at his own reflection, moving his head around to examine the bruise from several angles.
"Yeah, but how do you know the tricks? It's not like you have any flaws to hide." Jeremy realized, once again too late, that he had been too honest and had likely embarrassed himself.
Rory just laughed lightly and patted his shoulder. "Oh, Jeremy. You just passed Jess and Doula as my new favorite cousin."
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That evening, Jess was walking back from the bookstore, about to enter the diner, when Jeremy and Winston appeared around the corner, coming from the back staircase. Winston spotted him first and Jess watched his tail start wagging quickly as he pulled at the leash, causing Jeremy to look up.
"Hey, Winston! How's my good boy?" Jess took a couple of steps away from the door, not wanting to block the entrance to the diner, and crouched down to greet his excited dog. "Hey, Jeremy." Jess looked up at his son as he rubbed Winston's head. "How's my other good boy?" Jess liked that he could still make Jeremy smile with the well-worn joke.
"I'm good, Dad. How was your day?"
Jess gave Winston one last pat and stood up to greet his son, cupping the back of the boy's head and tipping it down so he could drop a quick kiss on top. "My day was just fine, but it's so much better now that I'm with you guys. Mind if I tag along on the walk?"
"Of course not." They started walking side by side, with Winston a few feet in front. They crossed the street into the town square and let Winston stop to sniff as often as he liked.
"So, how did your yearbook picture go? Hey, let me see your eye." Jess stopped walking and held Jeremy by one shoulder, really studying his face. "Your eye looks great. Rory did a good job."
"Yeah. She did. It was really nice of her to do it, too. I'm glad Luke thought to ask her." The boy was smirking now.
"What's so funny?" Jess asked, puzzled.
"Nothing. I had a good time with Rory. We ended up talking about school and college and graduation and stuff."
"That's good….." Jess dragged the words out slowly, not sure what the kid was getting at.
"Did you know that she was the valedictorian of her high school class?"
Jess nodded. "I feel like Luke may have mentioned that to me once, or fifty times. She was always very into studying. She was definitely a big school nerd, just like you."
Jess watched the boy smile. "And, did you know she got accepted into Harvard, Princeton and Yale?"
"I did know that. I was still in Stars Hollow when she got the acceptance letters. It's pretty impressive, isn't it?" Jess was starting to feel guilty for not pushing Jeremy harder. To apply to better schools. To attend the four year colleges he actually got into. Jeremy and Rory were both such smart, hardworking students. It felt so unfair that Rory had gotten her choice of three ivy league schools and Jeremy was stuck with Wollaston Community College.
"Yeah. Definitely. Did you know she picked Yale so she could stay close to Lorelai?"
"No, but it makes sense. I can't picture those two being apart for very long, especially when Rory was that young." Jess still wasn't sure where this conversation was going, so he tried for comedy. "Huh. I guess you guys have the whole mama's girl, daddy's boy thing in common, too, then." The boy still looked suspicious. Jess watched him smirking like a little kid with a secret.
"I guess we do." Jeremy agreed easily. "Did you know that Lorelai went to Wollaston Community College, too? For her associates degree in business?"
Jess watched Kirk and a pregnant Lulu crossing the other side of the square, Petal at the end of a leash that Kirk was holding. "I think I may have heard that rumor, too."
"Did you know that Rory missed her mom's graduation from WCC because she went in to New York city to see a boy she liked?" Jess froze mid-step, his eyes cutting automatically to his son, who was looking straight ahead, watching Winston sniff the base of a shrub. The look on the boy's face was too mischievous to be a coincidence.
"Is that right?" Jess tried to buy time.
"Yep." Jeremy confirmed. "She said he was a nice guy and all, but kind of awkward and pretty goofy looking."
Jess barked out a laugh. "She did not say that, you little shit!"
Jeremy was laughing like a little kid. "I'm guessing you didn't want me to know that you dated your cousin, and hey, that's fine. I can respect that. It explains a lot, though."
"She wasn't my cousin at the time! I want that fact clearly established for the record." Jess was smiling. "Rory and I dated years before Luke was with Lorelai. Unlike your uncle, I don't need an entire decade to work up the nerve to ask a woman out."
Jeremy laughed. "Hey, it's cool. I'm not judging. I'm sure there are some states where it's perfectly legal to date and even marry your cousin. Maybe Mississippi? Or Arkansas?"
Jess huffed out a laugh. "Don't make me slap around a kid with a broken facial bone. I'm pretty sure I would feel bad about myself afterward."
Jeremy kept laughing.
"And, it wasn't a big deal. We were seniors in high school and we didn't date very long. We only lasted about six or seven months, tops."
Jess could tell that Jeremy was trying to keep a straight face. "So, why did you guys break up? Because she left for college?"
"No, we didn't even make it through the summer. We broke up when I left for California right before graduation."
"Huh." Jeremy seemed to contemplate this. "That must have been hard. How did Rory take it when you told her you were leaving?"
Jess wasn't sure how to answer that. He kept his eyes straight ahead, watching Winston look up and sniff the air as he got his first whiff of Petal.
"Oh my god! Did you not tell her you were leaving?" Jess could tell without looking at his son that the boy was going to explode if he didn't let his laughter out soon.
"I may have failed to mention my travel plans to her."
Jeremy laughed loudly, amused and horrified. "Holy shit, Jess! Are you serious?"
"Hey, watch your mouth. We're in public."
Jeremy's expression was serious when Jess finally turned to face him, as if the gravity of his father's actions had sunk in. "That's so rough, Jess. I can't believe she still even talks to you."
"Yeah, well. It's not something I'm proud of. I was eighteen years old and I did something stupid. What do you want me to say?"
Jess watched Jeremy mull that over. "I'm eighteen years old and I would never do something that mean to someone I care about."
Jess nodded. "I know you wouldn't. But, I was a little asshole when I was eighteen, so I did. And, don't worry, I definitely paid for it. She was pissed at me. So was Luke since I basically did the same thing to him. They were the two most important people in my life then, and I lost both of them for a while. So, I got what I deserved. Everything sucked for me for a while there. But, Rory and I are good now, so I would appreciate you not bringing this up at family gatherings or anything. Ok?"
"Yeah, of course. I won't." Jeremy paused, his expression guilty. "I'm sorry if I upset you."
"You didn't upset me. Thinking about what a thoughtless little shit I used to be upsets me, but that's my fault not yours."
Jeremy nodded slowly, still contemplating. "It's almost impossible for me to picture."
"Yeah? What's so hard to believe?" Jess was smiling again, his voice teasing. "You think she's too good for me? Too pretty? What part are you having trouble with there?"
"Huh? No, I can picture you guys dating easy enough. The impossible part is picturing you ever being a thoughtless little shit."
Jess reached an arm around Jeremy's shoulders, pulling the boy against his side for a quick, half-hug. "That's why kids are so great. They didn't know you when you were young and stupid."
Jeremy huffed out a quiet laugh. "Rory thinks that our relationship is like her and Lorelai's. Do you think that's true?"
"Jeez!" Jess laughed, putting one hand on Jeremy's shoulder and gently pushing the boy from his side. "God help us if it is!"
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Jeremy and Luke were sitting on the bleachers watching the baseball game. It had become their thing to watch the home games together after Jeremy had quit the team. Jeremy missed being able to play. Baseball had always been something that he had enjoyed, for the sport itself as well as the feeling of normalcy it had given him, during a childhood that was often anything but. But this was good, too. Sitting here with his uncle, sharing something they both loved. Jeremy knew he wasn't good enough to play on a college team, but he figured he might be able to find an intramural league at WCC and play there. He knew he would be able to play again at some point if he wanted to. But, having a standing date with Luke for home gains felt really special, like a once in a lifetime type of situation. Certainly it was the first time in Jeremy's life that he had had someone to go to baseball games with on a regular basis like this. He knew Luke really enjoyed baseball, but he also knew from Lorelai that the man hadn't been to any of the high school games the previous year, so the idea that Luke was going to games to share them with Jeremy made it feel even sweeter.
Jeremy watched the Woodbury shortstop catch a line drive to end the inning. The visiting team jogged off the field toward their dugout.
"So, have you finished your application for WCC yet? The deadline must be coming up, right?" Luke asked.
"I think the deadline's pretty late, but, yeah, I sent mine in a couple of days ago. It was really easy compared to the applications for the four year colleges I applied to in Pennsylvania."
Luke nodded. "And, you're still good with your decision, right? You still want to stay here and go to community college?"
Jeremy smiled. "Why? Are you having second thoughts about wanting me around another year?"
"Never. I always want you around. You and Jess, both. I just want to make sure you're still good with your choice and everything."
Jeremy considered that, relishing the thought that he had people in his life now who cared about his feelings and were invested in his future. "Yeah. I'm still good with my choice. I want to be here."
Luke smiled. "Good. That's good to know."
"I was thinking maybe this summer we could work on another project together, in your garage. I mean, if you have time and everything."
"I'll make time, nephew. I would love to do that with you. Is there anything in particular that you want to build?"
Jeremy shrugged. "I'm not sure. I want to make something for Jess, for Father's Day. At first, I was thinking a bookcase, not like a huge one or anything, but something nice. A bookcase just seems like such a Jess thing. But, then I was really thinking about it, and he lost all his books in the fire, and since we moved here, he hasn't really bought too many new ones. He mostly uses the library to save money, when he even has time to read."
"Hmmm…...we can give it some more thought. You have a couple more months. I don't know if you should rule out the bookcase idea completely. I'll bet it's only a matter of time before he starts accumulating more books. And, you're right, a handmade bookcase does feel like something Jess would like." Luke paused, contemplating. "But, if you aren't sold on a bookcase, we can see what else we can come up with. You can come by and look at some of my woodworking books sometime to see if you can get any ideas there, or look around online."
"Ok. I'll do that. Thanks. I just really want to give him something special, you know, to thank him for everything he's done for me this year." Jess's birthday was coming up in a couple of weeks, too, but Jeremy already knew what he was going to get his father for that occasion, something he had owed him for a while.
"I think that's really sweet of you, Jeremy. But, you do know that you don't need to thank him, right? He loves having you in his life."
Jeremy made a face. "I know. Or at least, that's what he always says, too."
Luke's expression was amused. "But, what? You don't believe it? You think we're both lying to you? It's all a big conspiracy?"
Jeremy laughed softly. "No, I don't think you guys are lying. It's just…..I know he loves me, but I also know that I've made his life harder, like having me to take care of has made his life harder than it would be right now if he just had himself to think about."
"What are you talking about? Why would you think that? I can't remember ever seeing that boy as happy as he's been this past year with you in his life. He loves being your dad, Jeremy."
"Yeah, but…...I'm also the reason he has to work three jobs. I'm the reason he had to leave Philadelphia. Without me around, he probably could have gotten a new place with someone looking for a roommate or who wanted to sublet a room or something and he would have had more time to find a new job there. He really liked it in Philadelphia."
"I know he did, but being with you is more important to him that being in Philly. I can tell you that much for certain."
"But, like, he's given up stuff, sacrificed stuff for me. If he wasn't worried about helping me with college, maybe he could go himself."
"I know this isn't something you'll really be able to understand until you have kids of your own, so you'll just have to trust me on this. Giving up stuff for your kids isn't a sacrifice. It's parenting. Jess isn't doing anything for you that he doesn't want to do. You know that, right?"
"I guess so."
"Parents are supposed to take care of their children, Jeremy. Nothing makes them happier."
Jeremy felt himself getting a little emotional, and he looked away from Luke, back toward the field, watching a Woodbury batter swing at and miss a low pitch. "I just…...I want him to know how grateful I am. This year with him, with you, and everyone else. Getting adopted. This has been the best year of my life. I just want him to know that I appreciate him, for giving me this whole family, and this whole better life. I don't think he always even gets how much he's done for me….I just want to do something special for him to say thank you."
Jeremy felt Luke's hand resting on his shoulder. "I hear what you're saying. And, you still have a couple of months. You'll come up with something special." Luke paused. "Just so you know, I'm willing to bet this has been the best year of Jess's life, too, and that's really saying something considering all the crap he went through this year. The guy lost a job he loved, lost everything he owned in a fire, became homeless and had to move back to a town he's always hated. But, if you asked him, I'm pretty confident he'd say that getting to be your dad still made it his best year. I think it's great that you appreciate him. Jess is lucky to have such a thoughtful kid. But, I don't want you ever feeling like you're some kind of burden on him. Ok?"
Jeremy smiled. "Ok." He thought about how lucky he was to have a dad and an uncle who were both willing to listen to him when he needed to talk, and who actually cared about how he was feeling and what he was going through. Sometimes it still hit him hard that this was all his now. Forever. "Hey, Uncle Luke?"
Luke patted Jeremy's shoulder and withdrew his hand. "Yes, nephew?"
Jeremy felt too awkward to say exactly what he was thinking. "Thanks for coming to these games with me. I really like this."
"No problem. I really like it, too."