Chapter 43 Notes: Hi, again. I'm home recovering from surgery this week with lots of idle time to work on this story, hence the frequent posting. It's prom time in Stars Hollow...some people have a good prom and others not so much. Thanks to everyone who is still reading and reviewing this story. I really appreciate you guys and I am always interested in hearing what you think. :) Thanks for the catch, AJGranger. I had originally said that the prom was Jess's first first-date in four years, but you are correct that it would be over five years at this point since his first date with Charisse, which was a four year relationship. I have updated to fix this mistake. Thanks for pointing this out! :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own obsession with Gilmore Girls.

Jeremy was sitting on the back staircase, holding Winston's leash, while the dog lay curled up in the grass to the side of the stairs. Jeremy had already walked Winston, but he didn't want to go inside yet. He didn't feel ready to face Jess, who he knew would be arriving home from work soon, ready to take him shopping for a tux he no longer needed. He knew it wasn't a huge deal. That lots of people don't go to their proms. But, he was feeling disappointed anyway, and rejected that Cassidy had cancelled on him like this, leaving him dateless at the last minute. He knew his emotions were snowballing, gaining momentum as his negative outlook spread to encompass other parts of his life.

He knew it was stupid to get upset about something this trivial, but Jeremy had never been to a school dance, and he had wanted to go. He had never had a date to one, or enough friends to feel comfortable going. He didn't here either. The few classmates he had ever spent time with outside of school, mostly at study groups or other outings planned by Cassidy, were going with dates. He wasn't even sure if you could attend without a date, but he knew he didn't want to. He'd rather just stay home. He was tired of always feeling like the odd person out. He knew he didn't have the kind of friendships he wanted to have, that he had joined the Stars Hollow class too late to really be a part of anything here. He was stuck on the periphery of a high school class in which most students had been together since grammar school, and he was an outsider.

Jeremy had always assumed that if he found a forever family and was allowed to stay at one school long enough, he would end up with friends and a normal, happy life. He was starting to doubt that. Stars Hollow was without question the best place he had ever lived. Everyone here was nice, even friendly. No one picked on him, and he knew he should be grateful for that. But, instead he was stuck on the idea that even in a place like this, even with a supportive family and half a year spent in the same school, he hadn't been able to make any substantial connections with anyone outside of his family. He had thought he had with Cassidy, but if she actually cared about him, or even respected him, she wouldn't have dumped him for Andy at the last minute. He wondered if college would be better, like Rory told him it would be, or if it would be more of the same. He wondered if the decision to do two years at WCC and then transfer to a four year school was going to make things even harder for him. He still felt panicked at the idea of leaving Jess and the first home he had ever known, but he wondered if he was setting himself up for failure, already ensuring that he would be the new guy again when he transferred to a four year school. He was starting to wonder if his relationship with Melissa had been an aberration in what had been, and might continue to be, a lonely life. If his inability to form lasting friendships and relationships in his life was not due to the transiency of his childhood situation, as he had always assumed, but to something intrinsic to who he was as a person, some unshakable flaw in his personality that made him less likable than other people.

Jeremy hated that he still got in these dark moods, where everything felt bleak and hopeless. He knew logically that it was stupid and that made him feel even more pathetic. He had a family now. He knew he should be happy to have that much, that not everyone got everything, and having a family was huge, the biggest thing there was. He had briefly seen a therapist for depression after the bullying incident at the group home, and he thought back to a question she had asked him. What did he think he would need to have happen in order to feel good about himself and be happy? He hadn't needed to think, the answer had been obvious to him his whole life. If he could just have a family of his own, if he could be loved, he would feel good and be happy. Now he had that. He was part of a real family, who had all been loving and welcoming and he still didn't feel good. He still wasn't happy. He was still the kind of person who could take one minor setback, like not having a prom date, and extrapolate the results to all areas of his life, until he felt like he was worthless and destined to be friendless forever. He hated that he still got like this, still thought like this. But, some days he couldn't find a way to pull himself out of it.

Jeremy heard the door at the top of the stairs open. He watched Winston perk up at the sound, getting to his feet and wagging his tail, starting up the stairs to meet Jess. Jeremy heard footsteps descending behind him, but didn't move.

"Hey, there you guys are! I was looking all over for you two."

Jeremy turned to watch Jess sit down on the stair next to him and pet Winston.

"Who's my good puppy? Who's my good little boy?" Winston's tail batted against Jeremy's leg as the dog greeted Jess. Jess looked up from the dog. "Hey, Jeremy. You guys just finishing up your walk?"

Jeremy nodded. "Yeah, we're done."

"You about ready to head out for our prom gear?" Jess was all smiles and it made Jeremy feel like a disappointment that he was about to give Jess something to worry about.

Jeremy looked out in front of him, taking in the patches of grass by the stairs, the alley behind the diner where the dumpster was kept, avoiding eye contact. "Uh, I actually don't need a tux, anymore. Is it ok if I don't go shopping with you?"

Even without looking, Jeremy could hear the concern in Jess's voice, and something about it irked him. "What are you talking about?"

Jeremy had no patience for this conversation right now. He really just wanted to be alone. "I'm not going to the prom, so I don't need a tux. Can I just stay home?" Jeremy hadn't intended his tone to be so curt, to border on rude the way it had.

The pause before Jess spoke made Jeremy think that Jess was considering whether to call him on his attitude. He didn't really have any excuse for it. Jess didn't deserve it just because Jeremy was feeling shitty.

"Are you not going to the prom because of me?" Jess's voice was gentle, quiet. "Because I'm going to be there with Ms. Howard?"

Jeremy's first thought was to snap back that everything wasn't about Jess, but he caught himself in time. "I'm not going to the prom because no one wants to go with me, ok?"

"Did something happen with Cassidy?"

"Yeah. Something happened. She cancelled on me." Jeremy's voice felt tight.

"Did she say why she cancelled?" Jess asked.

"Yep." Jeremy really didn't want to talk about it, felt irrationally angry about the whole situation. Mostly at himself for getting excited about something and allowing himself to feel included only to have someone who he thought was his friend cut him out. "Andy and Charlotte broke up and now she's going with Andy. She's had a crush on him since like third grade."

"But, she already had plans with you? I mean, she was the one who asked you."

Jeremy felt his annoyance bubbling over into real anger. He knew he needed to watch his tone. "I realize that. I'm not sure what you want me to say here."

Jeremy glanced at Jess. The man looked taken aback by Jeremy's tone. "What about Charlotte?"

"What about her?"

"If Andy ditched her at the last minute like this, she might need a date, too. Have you thought about asking her if she wants to go with you."

Jeremy huffed out an exasperated breath. "Charlotte did the ditching. Apparently she dumped Andy for some guy from another school that she met at theater camp over spring break. I think she's all set with a date."

"Oh." Jess said quietly. "Is there anyone else-"

"Every girl I know well enough to feel comfortable asking already has a date."

"Huh. Ok."

"So, I know you still need to pick up a jacket tonight, but I would really prefer not to tag along since I don't need anything." "If that's ok." Jeremy added the last part as a conciliatory gesture to make up for his hostility.

"Jeremy, if you're not going to the prom, I'm not going to go either."

"That's ridiculous." Jeremy spat out. "You have to go. You already told Ms. Howard you would. You not going isn't going to fix anything for me. It's just going to make things worse for you."

"It doesn't seem right for me to be chaperoning a dance that my kid isn't even going to. I'm sure Ms. Howard will understand."

Jess calling the woman he was interested in 'Ms. Howard' struck Jeremy as phony, as if Jess were trying to distance himself from his feelings for her as a means of comforting Jeremy, showing he was on his side. He thought about calling the man on it, asking if he planned to call her Ms. Howard when he was fucking her, too. The rogue thought startled Jeremy and made him realize that he needed to get away from Jess before he said something he regretted, something bad. He could tell his feelings were about more than just the prom. It felt like a build up of everything. Losing Melissa. The fire. Not getting to play baseball. Not having friends. No one wanting him his whole life. Everything seemed so unfair, and this time Jeremy didn't feel like crying about it. He felt like hurting someone else, too. He knew he needed to get himself under control. How he was feeling wasn't Jess's fault. Jess had been the one good, steady thing in his life this year, the best thing in his life since his mom died. The guy didn't deserve Jeremy's shit.

Jeremy took a deep breath. "I want you to go to the prom with Ms. Howard. We always say that it's a two way street with us, right?" Jeremy glanced at Jess and watched him nod his head, then looked back into the alley. "Well, you don't let me sacrifice stuff I want for you, so I'm not letting you sacrifice something you want for me. And you not going won't make me feel any better, anyway. So, just go. Ok?"

Jeremy looked at Jess to find his father studying him hard. "Are you sure?"

Jeremy let out an irritated sigh. "Yes, I'm sure. It's really not a big deal. Can we please stop talking about this now?"

"Yeah, sure." Jess's voice was calm, careful. "We don't have to talk about it. Do you want to do something else tonight, instead?"

"I want to stay home, or maybe go out to a movie, if that's ok. But, you still need to go buy your jacket."

"I do. But, I don't need to buy it tonight. I could stay home with you, or go to the movies with you, if you want company.'

"Thanks, but I really don't. I just want to be alone tonight. Is that ok with you?" Jeremy all but snapped.

Jeremy watched a firmness set into Jess's expression, and Jeremy thought the man was going to say something about his attitude. He didn't mean to sound as rude as he had, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. Jess opened his mouth and then closed it, sighed audibly. The tension left his face, and when he spoke his voice was gentle, pitying, which felt worse to Jeremy than getting reprimanded. "Ok. I'll head over to the mall then and give you some space." Jeremy felt Jess's hand, warm on his shoulder. "I'm sorry you're having such a shitty day, Jeremy."

Jeremy was staring at the alley when Jess got to his feet. Jeremy listed to his father's receding footsteps, heard the door at the top of the stairs shut behind him, and felt like shit.

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Jess looked at himself in the department store's full length mirror, adjusted the jacket slightly on his shoulders. He recognized the detailing around the pocket and realized that he had already tried this jacket on about three jackets ago. He sighed. He couldn't concentrate. He felt like an ass for being here without Jeremy, shopping for his own prom wardrobe while his kid was at home, sad and excluded. Jess turned away from the mirror back toward the racks of jackets and startled as he ran smack into Lorelai.

"Hi, Jess." Lorelai smiled at him.

Jess was caught off guard, so lost in thought that he hadn't heard anyone approaching. "Hey, Lorelai."

"Looking pretty sharp, there, mister."

Jess looked down at the jacket as if he was surprised to find himself still wearing it. Things were so much better between him and Lorelai than they had ever been, but being around her still made him feel a little…..off, sometimes. "Yeah, you think?"

"Yeah." She reached out a hand and touched his left lapel, feeling the material between her thumb and forefingers. "This looks good on you. It fits you really well."

"Thanks." Jess liked it, too. "It's solidly in the maybe pile at this point."

"I heard you were going to the Stars Hollow prom. Is this prom shopping I'm witnessing?" Lorelai was giving him a smile that a year ago Jess would have interpreted as mocking, but he could now see was her natural enthusiasm tinged with nervousness over not wanting to say the wrong thing to him.

"Yep. That it is."

Lorelai turned her head and looked around the section they were in. "Where's my favorite nephew? I want to say hi."

"Oh…..uh, he's home tonight."

Lorelai looked back at him. "Did he already reserve his tux?"

"No. Actually. His, uh." Jess felt a wave of guilt as he explained their situation. "His date cancelled on him today. He's not going to the prom."

"Oh, no!" Lorelai's face fell so genuinely that Jess was touched by her sympathy for his son. Then it hit him that she might be remembering the pain he had caused Rory, being unable to take her to the prom at the last minute when he learned he wasn't graduating, leaving her dateless and hurting as he ran off to California. "Poor kid! How's he taking it?"

Jess started pulling the jacket off. "Not that well. He was pretty bummed about it when I talked to him earlier. And, kind of angry. He was snapping at me, like a….like a moody teenager. Which I guess is supposed to be normal, but he never does that."

"And, there's no one else he can ask? No other girls that might also still need dates?" Lorelai had gone into the same brainstorming mode that Jess had when he had talked to Jeremy. And, Jess could see why it had annoyed Jeremy then. Of course, he had thought to ask his son about other girls. Of course, Jeremy himself had already given thought to whether there was someone else he could ask.

"I asked. He said no. That all the girls he would be comfortable asking already have dates." Jess hung the jacket back up on a hanger.

Lorelai was studying him carefully. "And, you're feeling guilty that you going will make things even worse for him?"

"Yeah." Jess agreed. "I mean, of course. It's totally messed up that his dad's going to his prom and he's not. I'm having trouble reconciling this with something a halfway-decent parent would do."

"But, you really like this girl, right? Mallory? Luke says you really like her."

Jess nodded. "I do, but I'm not sure how much that matters."

"And, you already committed to going with her and helping chaperone and everything, right?"

"Yeah. I did. But, that was when I thought Jeremy was going, too."

"It sounds like you accepted her invitation in good faith. Jeremy was going then, as far as you knew. And, now you've committed to chaperoning, and you don't want to mess things up when you're just starting out with a girl you really like. I don't think you're doing anything wrong here, Jess."

Jess frowned. "It doesn't exactly feel like I'm doing anything right, either."

"It sucks that Jeremy's date cancelled on him, but you can't protect him from stuff like that. Watching other people hurt your kid or make them feel left out is the worst. The absolute worst. But, unfortunately it's not something we can control as parents."

"I know I can't protect him from being hurt, but I don't want to add to it."

"You know, Rory didn't go to the prom and she turned out all right."

"Oh, god." Jess cringed. "That's making me feel even worse. I ruined her prom, too."

"Sorry." Lorelai looked sheepish. "I didn't mean it that way. How about this? I didn't go to my prom either, through no fault of yours, and I like to think I also turned out ok."

Jess gave her a small smile. "Yeah, but I bet Emily didn't go while you stayed home."

"Ok, I'll give you that much." Lorelai tilted her head to one side, her expression becoming serious. "Being a single parent is hard. I mean, so hard. Unless you decide to take up neurosurgery as a hobby or train to be a navy seal, the odds are really good that you'll never do anything harder. It's almost impossible to balance taking care of your own needs with being the main source of emotional support for your kid. It's a job that almost sets us up to fail. Did Rory ever tell you about Max Medina?"

The name didn't sound familiar. "No, I don't think so. Who's that?"

"He was one of Rory's teachers at Chilton. I dated him her sophomore year. We got caught…...kissing at school once, some kids saw us, there was gossip, Rory got teased. I kept seeing him. He proposed. I accepted. Rory got attached, got excited to have a step-dad. I left him about a week before the wedding. Rory still had to face him at school."

"Shit….." Jess was processing how awkward that must have been for Rory, and what a shitty thing it had been for Lorelai to put her kid through.

"Yeah, it wasn't my best parenting decision. And, the worst part is that I was never really that into him. I mean, I liked him. He was a really good guy. He was someone that I knew I should want to be with, and should want to marry. But, I didn't. At the end of the day, I caused Rory a whole lot of hurt over someone that I never really believed deep down was the right guy for me."

This was much more than Lorelai had ever shared with him before and Jess wasn't sure what to say. "That sounds really tough on both of you."

"It was. It's something I regret. It shouldn't have happened. But, then I think about how scared I was to start things with Luke when Rory was a kid, even though I knew how I felt, and I was pretty sure I knew how he felt. And, I think about all the time I wasted and how things could have been different if we had gotten together earlier. I held on to the excuse that I needed everything to be all about Rory for me to be a good mother, but really, Luke is all about Rory. He loves her so much. He is so good to her, so good to Leelee. And, sometimes I think about how her life could have been different, and possibly better, if she'd had him as a step-dad from a younger age." Lorelai laughed lightly. "Maybe she'd be a girl who actually knew how to throw a ball, or even knew how to watch sports. Neither of us ever really mastered that aspect of television watching." Lorelai's expression grew serious. "Maybe she would have become a woman who is less attracted to men who really aren't good for her."

Jess wasn't sure what message she was trying to impart. He wasn't sure if he was the one getting lost in the details or if she was. "So….does that mean that you think I should go to the prom with Mallory or that I shouldn't? Cause, I got to say, I'm a little confused here."

"It means there's a good chance you'll mess stuff up, but when you do, you should make sure you're messing stuff up over the right person."

"Huh. You might want to work on your pep talks. That's not a very inspiring message."

Lorelai laughed. "Hey, like I said. Being a single parent is hard."

Jess nodded, his expression thoughtful. "You know, I have to say that I found it a lot harder in Philly when I was really on my own with Jeremy. I have so much help here that sometimes I feel like I'm cheating at the whole single parenting thing."

Lorelai smiled brightly. "I'm glad you guys moved back."

"Me too."

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Jess was getting ready for the prom. He was wearing a proper dress shirt and a tie for the first time in a long time and he had to admit it felt good to get dressed up. He looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror as he finished working on his hair. He liked what he saw. He had ended up buying a whole new outfit at the mall, and now he was glad he had, even though it had cost him a decent chunk of money. He felt confident, handsome even, like a guy who belonged on a date with a beautiful and educated woman. He still felt a little weird about going without Jeremy, but his excitement now outweighed his guilt. When he had come home from his shopping trip, Jeremy had had dinner waiting, having not gone to the movies at all. The boy hadn't actually apologized for his earlier attitude, and dinner had been a little strained at first, but they had both been trying, Jeremy showing interest in what Jess had bought, Jess talking honestly about how nervous he was for his first date with a new person in over five years. Things had felt back to normal since, and Jess had shaken off Jeremy's mood during their initial conversation as a one time thing attributable to the boy's disappointment. Jess could hear Jeremy and Luke talking in the living room through the open bathroom door. Luke had brought over veggie pizza and buffalo cauliflower and they were going to watch the Red Sox game.

Jess took one last look in the mirror, smiling at himself before walking out of the bathroom. He was hit with a wave of nerves. "You sure you're really ok with my going? I can still cancel."

Jeremy scoffed. "You're kidding, right? You'd be a complete dick to cancel now. Ms. Howard would probably never go out with you again. You're just nervous. You'll be ok."

Jess picked up his jacket and pulled it on. "Don't say 'dick.' I don't want Luke to think my kid's a delinquent."

Luke laughed from his spot in the armchair, an open beer on the coffee table in front of him with the food. "Go, Jess. We're good here. Say hi to Principal Merton for me."

Jess froze, his jacket only half on. "Oh, god! Will that guy be there?"

"Uh, probably." Jeremy said, an amused smile on his face. "He is the principal."

"That guy hated me. He was such an asshole to me when I went to that school."

"Hey, don't say asshole!" Jeremy admonished. "I don't want Uncle Luke to think my dad's a delinquent."

Jess listened to his son and uncle laugh at the boy's joke. He patted down his pockets to make sure he had everything. Keys. Money clip with cash, ID and cards. "Is it ridiculous that I'm really nervous right now?"

"A little bit." Luke said, which was followed by more laughter.

"Don't be nervous, dad. You look good. You'll be the best looking old guy, there."

"Huh. Winston is my favorite family member right now, just in case either of you were wondering."

Luke chuckled. "And, hey, let's keep to a midnight curfew, Jess. And, I better not smell alcohol on your breath when you get home, young man. I don't care what the other kids are doing."

Jeremy cracked up at Luke's humor, and Jess was hit with the now familiar feeling of being grateful to have been able to give Luke and Jeremy each other, accompanied by a tinge of jealousy at how well they got along.

"Bye. Wish me luck." Jess kissed Jeremy's head and patted Luke on the shoulder. He stooped to pat Winston on his way to the door. "Winston, you're in charge, buddy. Keep these two in line, ok?" He turned as he opened the door. "You gentlemen enjoy your evening."

"Enjoy yours, too." Jeremy said. "But don't enjoy it too much, the prom is a G-rated event full of impressionable kids!" Jess heard more laughter as he shut the apartment door behind him. He stopped for a moment to take in a deep breath to steady his nerves before hurrying down the stairs.

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Mallory was waiting in front of her apartment building, and Jess's mind flashed back to picking her up when he had been driving for Uber. He watched her walk toward the passenger door, planning to make a joke that he wasn't on the clock and would have come to her door like a gentleman. When Mallory got into the car, Jess felt the butterflies stop fluttering in his stomach. This felt good. It felt right. She looked beautiful, understated, not going for sexy since it was a high school prom after all, but wearing her modest purple dress very well in Jess's opinion, and looking incredibly good. Jess could feel the grin spreading across his face. "Hi. You look amazing." It felt like a generic date greeting, but Jess could no longer remember the Uber driver joke he had wanted to make.

Mallory smiled, looking happy, but a little less confident than the last time Jess had seen her. "You do, too." She huffed out a quiet breath. "I'm a little nervous. Is it ok if I get one thing out of the way now?" She leaned toward him slowly, as if to telegraph her intentions, giving him ample time to pull away if he had wanted to. She raised one hand to rest light as a feather on his cheek as she kissed him. Just like that. He kissed her back, holding himself back slightly, wanting this to be a sweet, getting to know you kiss and nothing more, not wanting to get too worked up when they had places to be. She pulled back after a moment, a soft smile on her face that made Jess want to pull her back toward him, kiss her again. But, he just watched her, instead. "Not bad." She grinned. "Just checking. If you were a lousy kisser, I wouldn't want to get too attached."

Jess laughed. "Is that how you kick off every first date?"

"Nope. Only the ones where I know I won't be able to focus on anything else until I do it." Her smile turned shy and endearing. "Ok, I've actually never been that forward before on a first date. But, I feel more relaxed now, so I stand behind it as a good idea."

Jess smiled at her. "I couldn't agree more."

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The prom itself was uneventful. It was held at a very nice hotel in Woodbury, with nowhere in Stars Hollow being both big enough to accommodate the senior class and fancy enough to feel appropriate for the occasion. Chaperoning didn't require much more than standing around watching kids dance, periodically checking the bathrooms for improper behavior. On one such visit, Jess found a group of four boys passing around a vaping pen. They had the decency to quickly hide the device once they spotted an adult, but they were giggling so hard and looked so glassy eyed that Jess would have known they were high even if he hadn't seen the pen. Because Jess considered himself a cool dad, a cool adult in general, and therefore a cool chaperone, he rationalized away the pot use as kids being kids, said nothing to the boys, used the restroom, washed his hands, and walked out, hearing more giggling and incredulous voices celebrating their close call as he left. It wasn't until he was crossing the ballroom toward Mallory that he pictured one of those boys leaving the hotel behind the wheel of a car, destroying another poor family the way a drunk driver had destroyed Andrew and Celeste's. He ratted them out to Mallory, who immediately located a male teacher to send into the bathroom after them. The boys were marched out into the lobby with Principal Merton, parents were called, their night was over. Jess realized he wasn't the cool dad he thought he was as he watched them leave, feeling no sympathy, and knowing he would have wanted someone to do the same thing if Jeremy had been using drugs.

He inadvertently made eye contact with Cassidy at one point, when she was leaving the dance floor, hand in hand with Andy. She had instantly blushed and looked away, and it gave him a small feeling of satisfaction to know that at least she felt ashamed of herself for how she had treated Jeremy.

Jess and Mallory ran into Principal Merton at one point by the refreshments table. It appeared to Jess that the man was taking his chaperoning cue from old eighties high school movies and guarding the punchbowl from any attempts at spiking. Mallory had greeted the principal and started to introduce Jess, her date, as she called him, when Merton extended a hand toward him. "I remember this young man, Ms. Howard. It's nice to see you again, Mr. Mariano. Thank you for chaperoning." His spoke in the same clipped and terse tone that Jess remembered, but the content was unexpected. Jess had pictured an entirely different reaction from the man.

"Sure. It's my pleasure." He gestured toward Mallory with one hand. "You have a very persuasive chaperone recruiter here."

"I apologize for that incident in the boys bathroom, Mr. Mariano. I heard you were the one who caught the young men using substances on the premises."

"Oh, no worries. I'm glad I could help."

"I remember the days when the worst discipline problems I saw at this school were uncooperative students with bad attitudes, talking back to teachers, skipping classes. Now, I've got students getting high at school events, sometimes even at school itself." The man came as close to smiling as Jess had ever seen him. "I never thought I would look back on having you in my school as the good old days, but I guess times change."

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The DJ announced the final song of the night, a slow one. Jess watched the teenage couples move onto the floor, spotting four girls gathering in a sort of group dance, their arms around each others shoulders, giggling as they started swaying to the music in opposite directions and two of them bumped heads. He figured they must be the dates of the boys who had been ejected from the dance and it made him happy to see that they had been able to salvage their nights. He saw Merton with his arms around an older black woman who Jess assumed was his wife, moving together discreetly on the fringe of the dance floor, looking at each other with the kind of lived in love that Jess hoped he would one day have with someone. He saw another adult couple with the same idea. He felt Mallory's hand slide into his and he looked over at her. She told him they couldn't leave without at least one dance. Jess smiled and let himself be led to the outer edge of the dance floor. Mallory placed her hands on his shoulders and he rested his gently on her waist, swaying slightly to the music, taking in her beauty up close and leaving what he considered appropriate space between them. As the song wound down, Mallory moved her hands around his neck, bringing her body close against his chest. Jess followed suit, wrapping his hands around her lower back, relishing the feel of her in his arms as they ended the dance in their first embrace. The music stopped and they pulled back from each other, Jess took in the happy, goofy grin on her face, knowing he must be wearing a matching one of his own.

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Jess had been waiting for the drive home all night, from the moment Mallory had kissed him in the car. He parked in front of her apartment building and walked her to her door. "Thanks for coming with me." Mallory said. "You made it a lot more fun."

"Thanks for inviting me. I had a really good time."

"So…...what happens now?" She asked.

"Well, it is a first date and I do have a midnight curfew…" Jess smiled.

She smiled. "Do you want to come in for a little bit? No pressure. I don't want you to turn into a pumpkin or anything if you really have to get home."

"I do want to come in. You have no idea how much I want to come in."

"I sense a 'but' coming." Jess watched a little of the glow fade from her smile and began to doubt himself.

"I don't think I should this time." Jess didn't want to fuck and run, but he also didn't want Jeremy to see him strolling in the next morning after a first date. "I really like you, Mallory, and I really want to see you again."

"I want to see you again, too."

"Can I take you out to dinner one night this week? I have Jeremy's graduation on Sunday, but I'm free any evening after that." Jess wanted to pin something down now, to show her how important this was to him and not leave her with the promise of a future call to set up a plan. She had asked him out. She had been the one to kiss him and ask him to dance. He wanted to meet her where she was coming from and show her that he was equally invested in this, in her.

"How about Thursday night?" She asked. "The last week of school is always crazy, but it will be over by then."

"Thursday sounds good. It's a date. I'll pick you up at seven?"

"Seven works. I'll be looking forward to it."

They kissed goodnight and Jess felt it. The familiar headrush, the light floaty feeling in his stomach. He knew he was already gone for this woman and it felt amazingly good.

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Jess took a minute to get himself under control before entering the apartment. He didn't want to look too happy, like he had too good a time. He didn't want Jeremy to feel like anything was being rubbed in his face.

Jess opened the door and let himself in, being careful to be quiet in case Jeremy was already asleep. The first thing Jess saw was Luke, fast asleep in his armchair, feet propped up on the footrest. Winston, who was curled up asleep in his dog bed, raised his head half-heartedly toward Jess, thumped his tail twice against his little cushioned mattress, then lowered his head and shut his eyes. Jeremy was sitting at the table, a hardcover book open in front of him.

"Hey, Jeremy." Jess greeted his son warmly, keeping his voice low, testing out the boy's reaction to him.

"Hey, Dad." Jeremy smiled as he whispered. Jess walked toward him, dropping a light kiss on his head. "You're home early." Jeremy feigned sympathy, patted Jess on the arm. "I'm guessing you didn't get an invite to Amanda's after-party. I'm sorry. Kids can be so cruel."

Jess smiled, glad to see Jeremy was in a playful mood. "Yeah, it looks like I didn't make the cut. Guess I'm just not cool enough. Or, maybe I'm too cool and Amanda couldn't handle it."

Jeremy laughed softly. "Since, I'm the only one who waited up for you, I should probably pass Winston as your favorite family member, huh?"

Jess smiled. "That sounds fair." He took a seat next to Jeremy.

"So, how was it? Did you and Ms. Howard have fun?"

"I don't want to speak for her, but I definitely had fun with Ms. Howard. And, she agreed to let me see her again, so I'm guessing she had a decent enough time, too. I'm going to take her out for dinner on Thursday." Jess studied his son, trying to read his reaction for signs of anything that the boy might be thinking, but he couldn't pick up on anything. The boy nodded, his expression neutral.

"That's good. I'm happy for you."

"Yeah?"

Jeremy nodded again, smiling now, but huffing out an annoyed breath for show. "Yeah. I am. Really. So, you can stop asking me, because it's getting pretty annoying."

Jess huffed out a soft laugh. "Ok. Message received."

"Did you see Cassidy there?"

"I did. I threw a cup of red punch on her yellow dress for you, too."

Jeremy giggled. "No, you didn't! You're so full of crap."

"Well, I thought about it. I should at least get credit for that."

Jeremy smiled at Jess, and Jess believed it to be genuine. He felt good about this. Everything was coming together for him.

Jess smiled warmly at his son, feeling so grateful to have someone in his life to love this much. "I love you, Jeremy. So much that it's freaking ridiculous."

The boy grinned. "I love you, too. I guess I'm going to head to bed now that you're home safe."

"Ok." Jess stood when Jeremy did, pulling the boy into a brief hug before releasing him. "Hey, does Lorelai know that Luke is sleeping here?"

"Yeah. I texted her a while ago. She said she figured that would happen."