Aaron yawned in exhaustion as he entered his home, flicking on the light switch to illuminate the dark living room as his legs moved of their own volition to the couch, muscle memory from the many times he's walked though the room guiding him as he tiredly rubbed his eyes.
He didn't bother announcing his return. There was nobody to really announce it to. No parents, siblings or roommates that needed to know that he was home. Just him. Him and his dark, empty house. He sighed as he lazily threw his leather jacket onto the floor before throwing himself onto the couch, his body loudly plopping down on the cushions, his head laying on one of the armrests as he removed his shoes, his socked feet finally free to breathe as he stretched out his toes before relaxing deeper onto the couch.
Tonight had really left him drained, both physically and mentally. His energy not only spent from partaking in the festival, but also due to the… interesting events that had happened. Well, interesting was the only word he felt was appropriate for now.
A lot had happened in such a small amount of time. Too much for Aaron's mind to process.
First, he had the whole poetry performance, and while he was happy that his poem was enjoyed by a few of the club's visitors, he didn't really think it would make any difference when it came to gaining new members. If anything, the only thing he felt the performance had actually accomplished was keeping everyone entertained for a few minutes. It was very likely that everyone who had attended the performance had already forgotten about it by now.
Aaron wasn't disappointed or saddened by this fact however. While yes, it was a little discouraging to think that the club had failed in their attempts to expand their roster, At least Aaron and the others got to have fun together for a few seconds, if you could call being trapped in a dark room filled with nervousness, anxiety and pressure while being forced to perform for total strangers fun.
He chuckled at that. Okay, it wasn't that bad. It was actually rather enjoyable for Aaron, presenting his poem and seeing the reactions from everyone. There was something relieving about expressing his work, finally showing his more poetic and deeper side to everyone, including his fellow members.
It was a side he really didn't know he had. After all, the whole writing poetry thing really just came to him on a whim. Just felt like a base craving. Something he felt he had no choice but to do. It was like second nature to him. Raw instinct. That didn't mean he was good at it though. No, when it came to writing poetry, Aaron had no shame in admitting that he was still just a novice, having felt as if he hadn't even scratched the surface of the art form when compared to more experienced poets.
I mean, take Natsuki for example. Her work was much better than Aaron's, garnering much more praise from the crowd. Now, he didn't see the whole performance as a competition or anything, but comparing himself to someone like Natsuki did show him how far he still needed to climb before he could reach her level of skill.
Odd, now that he thought about it. He originally assumed he'd be outclassed by Yuri…
Yuri…
God, he almost forgot about all that, the mere mention of her name alone being enough to cause him to shiver a little, the before mentioned phantoms of her touch, her body… and her lips returning tenfold.
He sighed as he sat up on the couch, changing to a more proper position as his palms met his face, hiding it as he breathed deeply, sighing again as he exhaled.
He was still having trouble trying to make sense of the whole situation with her. That intensive moment where she just… threw herself at him, forced herself onto him, only for the other members to catch them at the last minute, seemingly distraught by it, Sayori especially.
He was worried about her too. Very worried, the sudden shifts in behavior she displayed after catching Aaron and Yuri giving everyone the indication that something was very clearly wrong. It was just so… instantaneous. Unnaturally so. In less than a second, she went from shocked and surprised to deeply saddened, and then she just brushed it off and went back to smiling brightly and happily like nothing happened, worrying everyone else in the club in the process.
Aaron felt as if he should have talked to her about this. Should have asked if something was wrong, but fear got the better of him. Fear that even trying to discuss the subject with Sayori would make matters worse somehow. So, on the walk home, he just put his head down and stayed silent, his hands hidden in his pockets the entire time, Sayori having done the same.
Maybe tomorrow he'd try talking to her. Try to get down to the bottom of what was going on and see if he could fix it. Right now though, he was tired. Exhausted from the festival, his body needing to rest and recharge.
As he stood up from the couch and began making his way to his room, A knock at the door caught his attention, Aaron groaning at the idea of tending to company so late at night. Nevertheless, he changed course and walked to the door, not even bothering to check who it was.
When he opened the door though, all he saw was his front porch. Empty. Nobody in sight.
A late night prank. A harmless little joke done by immature children in order to get a laugh. Ha ha, very funny. So original too, Aaron simply huffing as he shut the door, walking back into his living room to collect his jacket and shoes, the knock coming back as soon as he did so.
Aaron groaned again, thinking that whoever had played their annoying little prank had come back for more, most likely assuming Aaron to be stupid enough to answer twice. Yeah right, he wasn't falling for that again. He was just going to ignore it. Walk right upstairs and go to bed.
Sadly, he didn't fall through with his plan as the person knocked on the door again, twice as hard this time, practically banging against the door.
He rolled his eyes as he walked towards it again.
"Oh… I-I um… H-Hi… H-Hello…" Yuri greeted nervously after Aaron opened the door, seeing her look down at the ground, avoiding eye contacts as her hands idly played with her hair, her fingers entwining and swirling the long purple locks, Yuri's breathing uneven, frantic actually. And don't even get started on her cheeks, blushing so brightly, you'd get the same effect if you dabbed red paint over them. "I um… I-I apologize for dropping by so unexpectedly and at such a late hour too. Plus, you may be completely exhausted from tonight and in no mood to entertain guests, which I understand wholeheartedly but… You know what? On second thought, never mind! I… I shouldn't be bothering you, especially not after all the trouble I caused tonight. I'll just-"
"Be quiet" Aaron interrupted as he put his finger over Yuri's lips, it now stained by the bright purple lipstick she still wore, only now slight faded and dried up. "I want you to think long and hard about what you have to say to me, okay? No rambling. No stammering. No choking on your words. Just say what you came here to say. And if you need a second to collect your words, that's okay. I'll be patient" He said as he pulled his hand away, Yuri breathing deeply as she gathered her words and thoughts, taking her time to focus on why she wished to pay her fellow club member such a late visit.
"C-Can I come in? Please?" She asked meekly, Her head finally rising up, allowing Aaron to see those bright orchid eyes of hers. He smiled at them as he opened the door fully, his hand motioning for Yuri to enter. "Thank you…" She said respectfully as she bowed her head, entering Aaron's home.
She removed her shoes and left them beside the door before following Aaron into the living room, him motioning for her to sit on the couch, which she did, sitting right in the middle, her frame barely taking up any room as she crossed her legs, her hands resting atop her lap.
"Can I get you something? Tea? Coffee?" Aaron asked.
"Tea, please" Yuri requested, not simply because she enjoyed tea more than coffee, but because she was honestly terrified of what the excess caffeine could end up doing to her system, especially in the fragile and… rather excited state it was already in, her heart beating incredibly fast, pumping blood through her body at an unsafe level, to the point where she was visibly shaking.
She tried to pass it off as simply the cold weather getting to her, though Aaron probably wasn't fooled. Still though, he didn't bother pressing her about it as he walked into the kitchen, rooting through his cupboards to retrieve the tea bags and a small kettle.
He was never really into drinking tea. Wasn't a big fan of coffee either, but ever since he joined the literature club, having a cup of tea kind of became a daily thing with not only him, but everyone else in the club, Yuri always making it for more than just herself, the others drinking mainly so it wouldn't go to waste.
Aaron used to hate the stuff when he first joined the club, and even now, he still had trouble holding it down without some form of sweetener in it, such as honey or sugar. That was to be expected though, tea was an acquired taste for some people, Aaron being one of them.
"Here you go" He soon returned to the living room, carrying a small tray with the teacups on saucers, the hot teapot in the middle, steam from the spout flowing into the air. He poured Yuri's tea first, than his own, adding the aforementioned sugar he'd need to help hold it down.
"Thank you" Yuri said as she took her teacup, taking a small sip, cautious not to let the hot tea burn her mouth. She relaxed a little as she swallowed, feeling the warmth of the drink run down her throat, calming her slightly. Oolong. One of her favorites. "I um… I hope this isn't an inconvenience for you. I'd hate to be a burden at such a late hour. Not to mention what your family would think if they caught me here at this time. Where are they, by the way? Seems a little late to be away from the home"
"I don't have a family"
"You don't?!" Yuri asked in surprise.
"Well, yeah I do! But… they don't really come around anymore" Aaron stated, sighing a little. "I kinda forgot about them"
"They're…" Yuri assumed.
"No. They're not dead. They're just… busy people. Really busy people" Aaron clarified. "They're away on business most of the time. Workaholics. Really dedicated to their jobs, so we don't really spend much time as a family"
"How often are they away on business?" Yuri asked.
"Too often" Aaron said. "They don't even live in the house anymore. They just pay the rent. Water. Electricity and everything else. They also send money for me to buy food and whatever else I need. It's been like this ever since I was born"
"Surely they had to spend time with you when you were younger. You can't just leave a child in a house on his own!" Yuri stated, unable to believe that Aaron could face such neglect from his family.
"No. They just gave me over to Sayori's family. Let them raise me while they went back to work. Then, when I turned thirteen, I moved back into the house. Lived this way ever since"
"That's awful" Yuri said.
"Nah. It's not that bad. You get used to it" Aaron said, a weak smile on his face. "What about you? What's your family like?" He asked.
"My family? They're dead" Yuri stated, was rather matter-of-fact about it too. Just outright said they were deceased like it didn't mean anything, almost as if such a detail was irrelevant to her. "It happened a long time ago. My father died in a car accident and my mother… My mother died giving birth to my little sister. Went into cardiac arrest as soon as she was born"
"Jesus Christ…" Aaron said under his breath, covering his mouth as he did so "I'm uhh, I'm sorry"
"Don't be. It was a long time ago. Talking about it doesn't bother me anymore. In fact, it helps me remember them" Yuri dismissed. "Me and my sisters live together now. I have a younger one and an older one who just graduated college. Works a modest paying job. We live in a nice, cozy little apartment in the city. We're very comfortable. Very happy"
"Well that's good" Aaron said, glad to know that unlike himself, Yuri still had family that were able and willing to spend time with her. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?" He asked, having not even drunk his tea yet, it just sitting on its saucer the entire time, going from steaming hot to slightly warm.
"I um…" Yuri paused to itch the back of her neck nervously. "I wanted to apologize for everything" She said before sighing. "I just got… a little too excited when you said those things about me. I um… I wasn't thinking clearly. I wasn't acting right. What I did was… It was wrong. I shouldn't have thrown myself onto you like that. I should have showed more self control! But, when you said those things about me… Called me beautiful and mentioned that you had… thoughts about me, It triggered something within me" Yuri admitted, looking away from Aaron as she did so.
"Something… good?" He asked.
"I don't really know" Yuri said. "It doesn't seem good though, what with all the trouble it caused. Was it… good for you?" She asked back to Aaron, him replying only with silence. "I thought so…" She sighed again, her head moving off to the side, again looking away from Aaron as she sipped her tea. "You probably didn't mean what you said anyway. You were just saying that to cheer me up. To make me feel better. And like the idiot I was, I believed it and… forced myself on you. All over a bunch of little lies!"
"Hold on! I wasn't lying!" Aaron stated loudly as he stood up, looking down at Yuri. "I meant what I said back there. Every word. You really are intelligent, sophisticated and… beautiful"
"And… you have lewd thoughts of me" Yuri pointed out.
"Are you really going to make me admit that again?" Aaron asked as he sat back down. Why did he even say that? I mean, yeah, in the definition of the word, Aaron was by all rights, a pervert. But not publicly so. He was raised well enough to know that it was best to keep information like that, the fact that he's had thoughts about Yuri that aren't entirely safe for work, to himself.
Still though, it did get blurted out. And since this wasn't some video game he could reload when something went wrong, he couldn't take back what he said.
"No. Not if you don't want to. In actuality… I liked hearing that" Yuri smiled slightly, a nervous chuckle escaping her as Aaron looked at her oddly. "The fact that you see me as so… desirable, enough to make you think of me like that, it makes me blush a little. Kind of… excites me" She added, scooting slightly closer to him, unaware that she did so.
"What do you mean when you say it excites you?" Aaron asked as he cautiously scooted away, continuing to look at Yuri oddly.
"Oh! I… Uhh… What I meant to say was that… Umm. Th-That just came out and… Uhm…" She choked on her words again, nervousness and anxiety rushing through her body like raw adrenaline as she felt herself begin to shiver and tremble much more visibly, her breathing growing incredibly frantic, to the point where she was almost on the verge of hyperventilating!
"Whoa. Yuri, you're shaking! Is… Is something wrong?" Aaron asked in concern, his initial reaction to Yuri's odd behavior discarded as he saw the panicked state she had so suddenly entered. "H-Hey! Talk to me! What's the matter?!"
"DEAR GOD! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"
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"What the…? What just happened?" Aaron asked in shock.
"I can't! I can't do this! I tried, Aaron! I really did! I tried to be civil and mature about it! I tried to behave! I tried to settle this and put it behind me like an adult! But I just can't do it!" Yuri shouted loudly as she stood up from the couch, her hands entangling themselves in her hair, almost as if she was going to pull it out in frustration.
"Yuri, I honestly have no idea what you're trying to say to me" Aaron said as he stood up from the couch as well, walking right up to Yuri and looking her in the eyes, concern on his face. "All I know is, something's bothering you. What is it?" He asked.
"You!" She said simply.
"Me?" Aaron repeated. "What did I do to you?"
"Everything! I just… Give me your hand!" Yuri commanded as she forcefully grabbed Aaron's right hand, his cheeks beginning to glow red in embarrassment when he saw her move his palm under her breast! Only to then feel it… The beating. The pulsing.
Fast. Too fast, pumping blood throughout Yuri's body at a dangerously rapid pace, way too much for the average human to withstand, Aaron even able to feel the trembling, the twitching of Yuri's hands and fingers as she gripped his wrist deathly tight, as if holding on for dear life.
"This…" She said as she looked into his eyes. "You did this to me… when I kissed you on the rooftop. When you said what you said to me" She explained.
"I… did this to you?" Aaron asked, shocked to find out he had such a profound effect on her.
"I don't understand it myself, but when we shared that moment together… It felt like I was flying!" Yuri tried her best to explain. "I just felt so… free! Like a bird flying in the sky! The wind in my face! But… when it was over. When you pushed me away… I fell" She added, her head downcast as a small frown grew on her face. "It was a painful fall. So very Painful. It… It hurt so much"
"Yuri…"
"I know that it would never be your intention to hurt me. And you didn't! I… I hurt myself" She continued, silencing Aaron before he could say anything. "I don't even care about what happened back there anymore. I couldn't care less. But ever since the festival ended… The shaking, it's gotten worse! Much more worse. Nothing stops it! Not even when I… Not even when I use my other ways of calming down. If anything, I think that's only adding onto it!"
"O-Okay. So, the kiss is making you freak out. That's… That's understandable" Aaron stated.
"I can still feel it, you know! I can still feel your lips on mine! I can still feel the way you held me! The way your hands explored me in those few seconds of… pure bliss!" Yuri shivered visibly. "It's teasing me! Driving me over the edge until I have no choice but to fall! So much so, that I snuck out of my own home in the middle of the night over it! Over you! I… I didn't come here to apologize. I came here to… to be with you again. To talk to you. To hear your voice. It's like an impulse now. An irrational craving. An addiction! I don't just want it… I need it!"
"Are you saying that you've… fallen for me?" Aaron asked, Yuri finally seeming to calm down after her rant finished, having finally vented out everything.
"Y-Yes…" She admitted shamelessly. "Yes, Love. I've fallen for you. Fallen into the deepest, darkest abyss with no light to illuminate my surroundings! With no ladder or rope to climb out with!" She expressed, using such wording that was very similar to what was seen in her poems and other written works, Aaron originally thinking that to be an excerpt from one of her past works. "But…" She continued. "But you didn't fall for me. No. Instead, you were pushed. Thrown down the rabbit hole against your will. Forced without even the slightest show of consent. And here I am now, ranting and raving about how madly I've grown to desire you, only to now force you into something that must feel so… uncomfortable" Yuri realized, now regretting her long, passionate rant.
"Hey! Don't talk like that. I mean, yeah, it was little forced and… did kinda have a bad aftertaste. But-"
"So it's true…" Yuri interrupted. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I-I've forced you into something you don't want to be a part of. I'll… I'll make it up to you right now! You get to chose whether we go deeper into this or not! Whether you'll accept my love or… reject it, know that I won't think any less or more of you for either choice. I'll respect and accept it wholeheartedly! If this is not meant to be… than I'll just have to deal with it" She said, gulping nervously as her hands covered her heart, though not to grip at and clutch it like she had done previously, but to now shield it. Shield it from the cruel yet well deserved pain of rejection that she fully expected.
Aaron sighed. "You know, you really should have let me finish talking" He said, Yuri's ears perking up at that. "Yes, it was forced. Yes, it did have a bad aftertaste to it… and an even worse effect on everyone else. And no, you didn't get my consent… but I still liked it. I liked kissing you, Yuri. I liked being close to you. I liked talking to you. And the look on your face when I said you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever met, it was the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life" He stated with a chuckle, Yuri's cheeks blushing madly as she heard that, having never been called cute before.
Cute. Not a word she felt was fitting for herself, considering certain… hobbies and tendencies. Not to mention the gigantic breakdown and rant she just had. Not exactly cute behavior. And even then, being called such had made her compare herself to Natsuki, if only for a second.
She wore that label very often. Sometimes with pride. Sometimes not. Yet she was always deemed as such by everyone for everything she said and did, obnoxiously so, If Yuri was honest. To the point where she had associated the word with negativity. Loathe to speak it so openly.
But hearing Aaron say it. Hearing him brand her as such, the word instantly took on a new meaning. Was shed in a new light. Carried new connotations. It brought a smile to Yuri's face. A small one. An embarrassed one, one a girl would use when she hears her lover talk so highly of her in public. One you would use if you had your positive traits complemented and praised for hours on end. It made Yuri very happy, almost giddily so.
"You're doing it right now" Aaron stated with a smile, Yuri looking towards him as she shook herself out of the daze she'd been thrown in, making a mental note of the power Aaron's words had over her now, cautious not to fall victim at inopportune times, such as this one.
"You think I'm cute…" For all the resistance Yuri had though, she still couldn't help smiling. "So… Does this mean what I think?" She asked excitedly as her hands hid behind her back, nervously gripping her wrists tightly.
"I… I don't really know, Yuri" Aaron said, his cynical side preventing him from saying yes, an aching feeling running down his spine. A warning. A sign that something about this was wrong. He didn't know what it was though. "I want too. Really, I do. But…"
"I understand. I know we don't really know that much about each other. In actuality, we're friends only in namesake. Acquaintances at best. But, I still can't deny what I feel. No matter how rationally I try to view this. How cynically my mind shouts at me, scolding my foolishness, I just can't do it. I know it's too early to take such a drastic step. I know it's all moving too fast for this to be healthy, but I'm still willing to try anyway. I'm eager, a little too eager, to see where such a change in our relationship will take us" Yuri stated, lightly giggling after. "God, just thinking about it. Romanticizing something so… simple. So common and customary yet so… terrifying. This rite of passage that anyone who desires happiness and success must take, it feels like an adventure! My own personal epic! Makes me want to write about this. Write about this grand journey I'm destined to have, either now or later in life. Aaron? Will you join me on this expedition? Will you be my partner in this journey? My companion? My lover?" She asked, Aaron not initially responding.
He was unsure if saying yes was the right call. As stated before by Yuri, she and him were really only friends in namesake, not connected enough on a personal level to justify such rash actions. To upgrade their relationship so recklessly, without even establishing it first.
There was a chance, a big chance, that this would end badly for one or both of them, both of them having the potential to learn or see something they disliked or hated immensely in each other, inflicting disastrous pain on one or the other as they cut ties. A lingering pain. A gut wrenching ache. A permanent wound. An injury that you never heal from, only learn to ignore.
To be set up for that kind of hurt, the danger always there. Felt yet never seen… Aaron didn't think he could handle that and remain himself, should such a thing happen. Should he become the victim of such pain. Didn't think he could bear to inflict it either, especially on such a kind, gentle girl like Yuri. To him, it would be akin to torturing a small kitten, Aaron viewing himself as a monster were he to do such a thing. Were he to hurt someone as fragile and sensitive as her, be it intentional or not.
Still though, as scary as the danger behind it was, he was attracted to the idea of a relationship, as a majority of boys his age are.
Aaron was a unique case though, being much more lonesome than other boys. He didn't have many friends, only one, actually. And she… She wasn't exactly approachable right now. His family was basically nonexistent, neglectful, Aaron almost feeling abandoned by them even.
As you could imagine, to a lonely soul like him, the idea of having a girlfriend, a companion like Yuri, it was very appealing to Aaron, almost to the point where he didn't bother to care about the risks. Didn't bother caring about the possible consequences. Was definitely dismissive of the way his fellow club members would react.
To start a relationship. To be happy and in love with someone who loved him back. To shower in affection and be showered in return. He wanted that. He wanted to feel that feeling. Wanted to live that life, if only for a short while. Wanted to see if the near limitless amounts of fictional stories and tales of love held any real truth to them.
He just… He didn't want to feel alone anymore. Didn't want to have the only person to confide in and open up to be the one girl he's known since birth. Didn't want to spend a majority of his young life alone anymore. Didn't want to look on at the other boys his age, surrounded by friends and lovers of their own, thinking Why can't that be me?
"No more…" He said in his mind, finally reaching his decision. It was time for a change. A real change. Happiness, true happiness, was at his doorstep, begging to come inside and Aaron wasn't about to turn it away, even if harboring it had the potential to bring hurt in the future. If anything, he would be glad to experience the initial comfort before such pain set in.
"Yes" He said warmly, a large, inviting smile on his face. "I want to see what happens. I want to see where this goes. I want to explore these feelings deeper… And I want to explore them with you, Yuri" He stated, the words just flowing naturally out of his mouth, him saying them without thought, not even requiring such a thing. This wasn't his rational, sensible mind talking. This was his heart.
Yuri's eyes spread wide as she heard Aaron accept her love, gasping in shock before smiling widely, nearly unable to believe that Aaron would be willing to not only accept but also return her love. "Oh… Oh, Aaron!" She said loudly, pure happiness in her voice. "I… I don't have words for how much this means to me! I've wanted something like this, someone like you, for a long time"
"Yeah… I've wanted the same thing too" Aaron smiled back, his arms spreading out wide, inviting Yuri to come closer, her doing so as she wrapped her arms around his torso, pulling herself into him and holding on tightly, hugging him. Aaron gladly hugging her back, finally feeling Yuri's touch again, the ache from her phantoms now gone, replaced with the real thing. "I'll take good care of you. I promise" He said softly.
"I promise too. To love, honor and cherish. This is my code now. My principle. My purpose in life. The reason for my existence. I will allow these simple words, this tiny sentence, to override my morality. To change my ideology. My values. My virtues. My ethics. My perception of right and wrong. My understanding of good and evil"
"Jeez, Yuri. We're starting a relationship, not getting married. You don't need to go that far" Aaron stated as the two pulled away from each other.
"I want to. I want this relationship to be one of love. Real, true love. And to make that so, I must hold myself to those standards, extreme or not" Yuri said intently as she looked Aaron in the eyes. "So, um… Can we… Can we kiss some more?" She asked shyly, Aaron chuckling at the idea of Yuri needing permission to kiss him.
"Sure. Come here" He said as he beckoned her towards him, Yuri eagerly approaching, feeling him gently grip the sides of her waist, holding her as she grabbed his shoulders, the new couple looking into each others eyes for a few seconds, enjoying the sight of each other before leaning in, their lips puckered as they made contact once again, Yuri shivering slightly as she felt the warmth of Aaron, her body seeming to forget how to stand as her weight was shifted onto him yet again, the two falling backwards, landing gently on the couch, Yuri on top and Aaron on the bottom, their embrace uninterrupted by their little tumble.
This kiss felt much better for both of them. More gentle. More comfortable. More natural. Warmer. Softer. Less… forced than the last one.
Back there, Aaron had submitted to Yuri's kiss, having resisted it initially. Now, it felt… mutual, for lack of a better word. Easier to accept and go with. There was consent in this one. And that consent bred a sense of comfort and ease. A feeling of relaxation. Safety.
The other one was the product of sensory overload. Something they had done only because the hormones within their bodies had become too intense to ignore, forcing them to obey their instincts. Their lust.
But this. This was better. Easier. Cleaner, if such a word could be applied. There was no shame in this. No weight. No feeling as if they should stop. No debating whether this was good for them or not. No difficulty. No judgment from certain onlookers either. No, this was just them. Them and their moment of intimacy, Aaron feeling as if this was the real thing. His real first kiss.
He felt a little shiver pulse through him after feeling Yuri's hands move from behind his head, making their way slowly down to his chest, the buttons of his white collared shirt slowly undone one at a time before he felt the touch of Yuri's fingers on his bare skin. Cold. Very cold, but exhilarating nonetheless, Yuri's fingers tracing small, slow circles on Aaron's chest, under his collarbone as she continued kissing him.
After he had become shirtless, Yuri's hands began to do the same to herself, reaching down to the hem of her tightly fit, crimson red turtleneck, gripping it and moving it up, her midriff exposed as she slowly pulled it further and further up, the fabric so tight around her body that it practically clung to her skin, Yuri pulling away from Aaron in order to fully remove her sweater.
That was when he saw it.
"Holy shit!" Aaron shouted in shock as he saw Yuri shirtless. "What the fuck?!"
"What? What's wrong?" Yuri asked in confusion, unaware of why Aaron would be so surprised to see her without her sweater on. What? Had he never seen a semi-naked woman before? Had he never seen the nearly exposed chest of one? Nearly exposed, mind you. Yuri still had a bra on. "Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked again, Aaron too shocked to speak, Yuri glancing down at herself, only to scream loudly when she understood Aaron's shock.
The arms… He saw them. The cuts. The stabs. The wounds. She… She forgot about those. Forgot all about the marks she had previously been so vigilant of. So adept at hiding from everyone, having forgotten their existence in the heat of the moment.
"Yuri, what happened to you?!" Aaron asked, Yuri quickly turning herself around, her arms brought to her chest as she hid her face in shame, Aaron only able to see her back as she scrambled to put her sweater back on.
"Nothing! Nothing happened! Don't look at me!" She shouted loudly. "I… This really was a mistake. I… I need to leave!" She said as she made a break for the exit, practically running to the door, Aaron running after her, quickly chasing her to the front door, fast enough to slam his hand on it and stand in front, preventing Yuri from leaving, an assertive, dominating glare on his face, Yuri quivering a little as she saw it.
She took a few steps back in fear as Aaron blocked the exit, her head swiveling as she looked for an alternate way out. A back or side door. Sadly, none were to be found.
"Your arms. What happened?" Aaron asked, his voice quiet. Soft. Concerned. He didn't want to yell too loudly and scare Yuri. "Please, tell me"
"Nothing! Nothing happened!" Yuri denied initially. "I… I was attacked! By a wild animal or… something!"
"You're not a good liar, Yuri" Aaron shook his head at her. "The truth, please"
"I… I don't want to tell you" She refused, turning her back to him again. "You wouldn't love me anymore" She stated lowly.
"Look… I'm new to these whole relationship things. But they're all about trust, right?" Aaron asked, Yuri looking over her shoulder as she heard that, Aaron sighing once he saw the fear in her eyes. She looked so… terrified. So scared and afraid. Like she was about to be executed. "If you want this relationship to be genuine, you have to have trust in me and I have to have trust in you. But don't you think that's pretty hard when you lie to me and refuse to talk? I meant what I said when I promised to take care of you, but I can't do that if you won't let me" He stated.
Yuri sighed as she turned back to him and rolled up her sleeves all the way, right up to her shoulders. Thankfully, all the damage seemed to be only on her forearms, everything from the elbows up untouched.
"I'm sorry" She apologized, her eyes refusing to look at Aaron, instead downcast to the floor. "I did this. I did this to myself" She revealed, an unbearable feeling of filth and disgust in herself coursing through her as she admitted her vile secret.
"You cut yourself? Why?" Aaron asked as he held his hand out to Yuri. "Can I… Can I please see?"
"No!" Yuri said fearfully as she brought her arms to her chest, Aaron able to see her lips quiver in terror, asking himself why. Why was Yuri so suddenly terrified of him now? So fearful to even gaze at him, now not wanting him to touch her.
Was she afraid that seeing her body in this state would anger him? Was she afraid that because she cuts herself for… whatever reason, she no longer had his love? Did she assume Aaron would now dump her once he learned he was in the possession of self damaged goods?
"Please…" Aaron begged. "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. I just want to see" He stated, his hand still held out, Yuri gulping nervously as she slowly stretched her hand out for Aaron to take, feeling him gently hold it by the wrist with one hand, the other slowly gliding over, but not touching, Yuri's arm, his eyes carefully examining the damage.
There was a lot of it. Many, many different wounds of varying shapes and sizes. Everything from small paper cuts to full lacerations, her entire forearm covered in slashes. Some of them were so… extreme, that Aaron was amazed to see that nearly none of them were on the verge of infection. That was most likely due to luck though, as Yuri's arm didn't look to have any of its wounds treated before.
It was sickening. The sight of all that damage. All that pain. Enough to make him regurgitate, Aaron never liking the sight of blood or damaged flesh. His disgust wasn't in Yuri though. Wasn't in the fact that this… horror was self inflicted. He just never liked the look of wounds, even now after he's grown up.
"Please talk to me" He said calmly, more than willing to tear his eyes away from Yuri's arm, his focus brought to her face. "Why? Why do you do this?" He asked.
"I don't even know anymore…" Yuri looked away, unable to face Aaron. Disgusted in herself. "I… I get excited sometimes. Get more than a little worked up and… it's not exactly easy to hide. You saw that yourself, didn't you? When I came in here, I was a mess. I was shaking and rattling and… I couldn't control myself"
"And you think this helps?" Aaron asked.
"Somewhat. It calms me down. Forces my body to stop. Finally gives me control over myself. But, not in the way it should. It's not a negative reinforcement thing. It's… something else"
"Something else…" Aaron picked up. "It's not… a sexual thing, is it?" He asked, Yuri gasping at him in shock, that telling Aaron all he needed to know. "Say no more. I get it" He stated.
"I'm… I'm disgusting! I'm fucking disgusting!" Yuri shouted as she hung her head low, her hair hiding her eyes from Aaron. "I'm a filthy, disgusting, masochistic freak! Repulsive, degenerate scum! I should be locked away! Kept in an asylum and far away from the normal people!"
"Hey! Stop that! You are not a freak, Yuri! You're not disgusting either. You're just… different" Aaron said, his hands having moved away from her arm, gripping her shoulders now as he forced her to look him in the eyes.
"I treat self harm like it's masturbation, Aaron! I get off to cutting myself! I'm the very definition of a freak!" Yuri shouted loudly.
"No! You're not!" Aaron shouted back, his voice much louder than hers, calming down and lowering his volume before speaking again. "You just… have a bad habit. Everyone's got something like that. We just need to break you out of it. And I'll help with that" He stated, Yuri's head picking itself up once she heard that.
"What? What do you mean?" She asked, Aaron going silent after that, unable to actually define what he meant.
"Yuri? Do you bandage your wounds?" He changed the subject instead, Yuri's head going down again.
"N-No…" She said. "I know I should, but I never find the time. It's a miracle that I haven't suffered an infection yet"
"How recent are these?"
"Fresh. Too fresh. I-I needed to… calm down before I could talk to you" She admitted, Aaron nodding once at that as he slowly took Yuri's hand into his, leading her back to the living room, sitting her down on the couch.
"I'll be right back. Wait here. Don't move" He commanded as Yuri sat on the couch, her sleeves still rolled up, arms still exposed as Aaron ran upstairs, only to return soon after, a small, white plastic case bearing a red cross in his hands. A first aid kit. "Give me your arms again" He commanded once more after opening the case, Yuri initially reluctant, yet eventually doing as told, her arms stretched out as Aaron went to work. "This might sting a little" He warned as he cleaned Yuri's wounds, hearing her gasp through her teeth in pain as he applied the healing ointment, being meticulous yet gentle as well.
He treated Yuri as if she was a wounded bird, being firm so that she wouldn't fly away, yet gentle so he would not hurt her as he tended her wounds.
Finally, his treatment had concluded, the damage tended to and properly dealt with, the cuts, gashes and lacerations now covered by the tightly fitted bandages that wrapped around Yuri's forearms, her looking at them oddly.
"Never take these off" Aaron said as he took her hands into his own once again, Looking into Yuri's eyes, so intently that it almost felt as if he could see through them. "I'll be very upset if you do. I want you to get better. I don't ever want to see you like that again, you understand?"
"Y-Yes. I understand" Yuri said meekly.
"Listen, I'm not mad and I'm not disappointed in you. I'm just concerned and worried. That's all" Aaron stated. "I know you do it because you can't control yourself sometimes, but that's going to stop right now. If you ever feel like you need to calm down, don't do this anymore. Just… Just come to me! Okay? We'll find a better way. A safer way. A happier way"
"Okay… Thank you, Love. Thank you for taking care of me" Yuri said as she raised her head up, shifting her gaze from the bandages to Aaron, able to see the soft smile on his face. The look of care and love in his eyes.
"You're welcome" His said softly as he scooted himself closer to Yuri, their bodies against each other as Yuri laid her head on his shoulder. "You wanna go back to kissing now?" He asked casually, Yuri moving her head away to show him her smile.
"Nothing would make me happier" She said as she brought her lips to his again, wasting no time in attempting to rekindle their passionate moment, picking up right where they left off, their bodies moving exactly as they had done before, as if their entire moment had been rewound. On instant replay.
Yuri even removed her sweater again, revealing her figure once more. Not exactly hourglass shaped, but very close, Aaron's hands memorizing the shape of her as they caressed and stroked the soft, pale skin, Yuri moaning softly as she felt him explore her body, her doing the same to him.
As she kept kissing him deeply, her hands moving around and exploring nearly every inch of his body, feeling his exposed skin as he felt hers, she could feel herself begin to heat up a little, her heart beginning to rush again, pumping harder and harder, faster and faster as they continued their passionate embrace, Yuri moaning and groaning louder and louder as the seconds passed, feeling herself getting hot and bothered as her hands subconsciously moved further and further down Aaron's body, having a mind of their own as Yuri felt them undo his belt.
"Whoa!" Aaron said in shock as he tried to gently push Yuri away, only for her to possessively cling to him, latch on tightly in defiance to his protests.
"Oh fuck…" Yuri cursed. "Oh god, Love. It's happening again! My body is going wild for you! Being disobedient! I… I can't hold back anymore!" She said, breathing in and out heavily as she felt the excitement come on. "I can't help it, Love. My body wants you! I want you! I know it's so sudden… but will you indulge me? Will you let me enjoy you?" She asked, speaking directly into his ear, Aaron tensing up as he heard that.
"Are you… Are you asking me to have sex with you?!"
"Oh yes!" She shouted immediately. "I'm sorry, Love! So sorry! But I can't help it! I'm aching for you! Every fiber of my being is screaming your name! Take me! Take my body! Take it now! It's all yours!" She begged, whimpering heavily as she released Aaron, only to spread herself out on the couch, spread her body out to display it to him. "If you don't… I don't know what might happen. My blood feels like it's boiling! I feel like I'm about to explode! And it's scaring me!" She added, a pleading look in her eyes, eyes now glazed over with lust and want.
"C-Come on, Yuri! I don't… I've never done something like that…" Aaron revealed nervously. "I don't even know what to do if I…"
"Neither do I, Love!" Yuri interrupted loudly. "I wouldn't know the first thing! I'm as inexperienced and uninformed as you are! But we'll figure it out as we go. This is nature, after all… A vital part of our lives. An integral part of our species survival. It should come naturally. Like eating, drinking, breathing and sleeping. We just have to let go and… let our instincts guide us. Let them command us. We just have to obey our bodies!"
"I-I don't even have any protection! I could… I could get you pregnant, Yuri!" Aaron shouted loudly.
"No, you won't!" She shouted back. "Don't worry. I already saw to that before I even came here! I'm on pills! I'll be fine!" She stated.
"Wait… You took birth control before you even came to my house?" Aaron asked, offended as Yuri sat up on the couch, a look of fear on her face, worried that she had invoked Aaron's anger. "What? Did you automatically assume that I'd put out for you!?" He shouted in offense.
"Wh-What?! N-No! Never! I'd… I'd never think so lowly of you, Love! You have to-"
"Relax" Aaron interrupted, his tone and volume lowered. "I'm just teasing you. Don't take it so seriously" He chuckled.
Though he was having a few seconds of fun, he was still genuinely afraid of what was happening. Aaron was still a virgin and… so was Yuri too. And they had only just started their relationship! Wasn't there supposed to be a slow and steady build up to this? What happened to laying the foundation before you start building the house? What about establishing ground rules first and just getting a general feel for each other before taking such drastic steps?
Though… Aaron knew that Yuri was a special case, especially after the whole self harm thing had been revealed.
It was confirmed by her herself too. It was a sexual thing. A fetish, even if it most likely didn't start that way. Yuri got a high from it. If Aaron rejected her, she'd just go back to cutting herself to get her pleasure. She may even make it worse too, hurting and tearing herself much more extremely in order to get a greater feeling of euphoria.
As much as Aaron felt like he wasn't ready for this, he didn't want to push Yuri away, only to have her resort to cutting herself again so she could get off. So… he had no real choice other than to comply, lest he wanted his new girlfriend to go back to hurting herself, which he didn't.
Might as well play along then…
"You know something I really like about you, Yuri?" He asked as he moved closer to her, his hand grasping the back of her neck, pulling her into him as he leaned into her ear. "The way you look when you get all flustered and anxious… It's so goddamned cute" He whispered softly in her ear, the words causing Yuri to shiver as she fell backwards on the couch, whimpering as she spread herself out again.
"Oh God…" She groaned as she laid on the cushions, being called cute practically making her quiver. "I can't bear it anymore. Please, Love… I need it!" She begged, unable to take much more, Aaron sighing as he prepared, getting right on top of Yuri, her face coming alive as soon as she was given what she wanted. "Oh God, it's actually happening!" She shouted excitedly. "You're actually going to do it! You're actually going to take me! We-We're actually going to have sex! Maybe even make love! Oh Aaron! Oh Love!"
"Shh… Be quiet" Aaron whispered in her ear, Yuri immediately silencing herself, tightly sealing her mouth shut, her teeth pressing down on the inside of her lips as Aaron breathed nervously, not even knowing where to start.
Well… it was as Yuri said. This was nature. Something his body was made to do. It was supposed to come as naturally as eating or drinking. All Aaron really had to do was just let his instincts think for him. Obey his body.
He figured that he'd start with what he was familiar with, kissing… Leaning down over Yuri as his lips came into contact with hers, as they had done before, Yuri moaning into the kiss as her arms wrapped around Aaron's neck, greedily pulling him closer as he felt her right foot drape itself over his waist possessively, her body shivering and shaking as Aaron's hands slowly ran down her back, making their way to the straps of Yuri's laced purple bra, undoing the little clasp at her back, causing the bra to fall off, Yuri's breasts released, free for Aaron to see.
His lips moved away from hers as his hands continued running down her body, making their way down her sides before reaching her waistline, his hands grasping at her leggings as he slowly pulled them down, her panties going along with them as Aaron's lips began trailing down Yuri's body, gently kissing her cheek, going down her jawline, her neck, her collarbone until they arrived at her chest, Aaron pushing his head into her breasts, kissing them as he made his way to one of her nipples, Yuri shuttering in shock as she felt him take one into his mouth, sucking gently as his thumb played with the other one, just circling it, stroking it gently, Yuri moaning and groaning audibly, bliss and euphoria running wild through her, making her feel as if she were in heaven.
"Oh, Love… Stop… Stop teasing me and give me what I want already!" She shouted loudly, desperate for Aaron to move on from his torturous foreplay, whimpering as she felt Aaron stop, removing himself from Yuri's breasts.
"You're sure this is what you want?" He just wanted to be safe.
"It's what I need…" Yuri begged desperately, assuming the position, her legs spreading apart, Aaron sighing as he removed his pants, Yuri's eyes going wide at the sight of his erect cock, a beautiful sight in her mind, a sight that not only excited her greatly, but also filled her with a small sense of pride. Accomplishment even. Pride in knowing that its stiffness was because of her. Because Aaron was aroused by her. Because he thought she was sexy. Because he thought she was beautiful. Because he desired and lusted for her just as much as she did for him.
"I'm ready… Take me, Love…" She said yearningly, Aaron gulping nervously as he positioned himself, initially reluctant to enter Yuri, though eventually forcing himself to fall though, inserting himself into her, Hearing her yelp in pain as he penetrated her, that yelp causing Aaron to jump in fright.
"Oh my god! I'm sorry!" He apologized, thinking that he had hurt her as he tried to pull out, Only for Yuri to quickly grab his waist, pushing him back.
"No! No, it's okay! Don't stop! Please! Please don't stop!" She begged, whimpering and mewing as her hands tightly clutched the cushions of the couch, the initial pain from Aaron's insertion soon overshadowed by the mind numbing ecstasy, the pure pleasure she felt as Aaron began rocking, going in and out, up and down as Yuri moaned louder and louder, feeling her climax coming on, Aaron initially wanting to pull out before then, only to have Yuri stop him. "No! No don't go, Love! Stay… Stay in me. I want you to finish what you started! You have to!" She was practically yelling at this point.
"You have to do this! To cum inside me! That's… That's how you claim me! That's how you mark me! That's how you mark your territory and let all the other males know that I'm yours! That I belong to you!" She yelled loudly, the idea of being claimed by Aaron turning her on more than she already was. "Oh God, that's so fucking hot! Oh Aaron!" She screamed as she felt the orgasm rock her, Aaron finishing inside her as they came together, the two practically collapsing onto the couch, panting heavily as they reveled in the afterglow.
"Yu… Yuri?" Aaron asked, panting as he tried to sit up on the couch, having a little trouble initially. "You okay?" He asked.
"Oh Love… Oh, that was heaven. It feels as if I've been reborn!" Yuri sighed happily, nearly unable to feel her body, it being too numbed by the pleasure. "Thank you…"
"Well, I'm glad one of us had fun" Aaron scoffed as he sat on the couch, Yuri finally able to pick herself up, looking at Aaron oddly.
"Did you… not enjoy it?" She asked, a small frown on her face as she moved closer to Aaron, laying herself down on his back as her hands wrapped around his torso. "Love… Talk to me. Please. Have I hurt you?" She asked in concern.
"No. No, it's not that. I just…" He sighed. "That was just a little too… intense for me. I… I wasn't ready. Everything went by too fast. And if I said no, you'd just go back to cutting yourself again. I-I know it's not your fault, but you kinda made me feel like a hostage, Yuri" He admitted, Yuri gasping lightly as Aaron compared himself to that of a hostage.
"Oh Love… I-I'm so sorry" She apologized. "You have limits. Boundaries. Things you aren't comfortable with yet. And I… I ignored them. I ignored your limitations and practically forced you to do something you weren't ready for" She realized. "Oh God! Oh my god, I just raped you! Oh God, I'm a rapist!" She panicked, the little shivers of pleasure from before now replaced with disgust, Yuri now revolted by her act, feeling as if she was about to vomit.
"What? N-No! You didn't rape me! I… I agreed to it! I just… I wasn't exactly prepared, that's all!" Aaron stated, trying his best to calm Yuri down. "This is a common mistake! At least I think it is… We just need to be more aware of each other. We need to be more understanding when it comes to each others needs and limits. This is all part of exploring our relationship, Yuri. We're learning. I'm sure tons of other couples have done the same thing"
"S-So… I didn't rape you?" Yuri asked, sighing in relief. "Thank God, I don't think I could have lived with myself if I actually did that!" She chuckled nervously, brushing a stray lock of her hair behind her ear. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine" Aaron said with a small smile, letting Yuri know that everything was alright.
"Well… I think I've taken up enough of your time. I should… I should be going now. It is rather late. In fact, I think the sun is going to rise in the next few hours. My sisters are probably worried out of their minds. I should… I should go" Yuri said as she stood up from the couch, having a little trouble finding her balance, her body being slightly… tender.
"Um… You don't have to" Aaron stated, Yuri pausing as she turned to look at him. "I mean… It's a little dangerous to be walking home alone so late. Why don't you… spend the night here?" He asked, Yuri's eyes jolting up slightly as his proposal. "You can stay here for the night and leave in the morning. That is… if you want to" He added.
"Y-Yes!" Yuri agreed almost immediately, happy to spend the night with her new lover. "I'd like that very much. We can share the bed and everything. Maybe even have breakfast together. Bu-But only if it's okay with you"
"It's fine. More than fine. Come on" Aaron said as he took Yuri by the hand, giving her a little peck on the lips before leading her upstairs, into his bedroom.
"Hello? Mom? Dad? I'm home!" Sayori stated as she finally returned home, practically shivering from the cold outside as she closed the front door, all the lights in the house off, making it near impossible to see. "Hello? Anyone here? I said I'm back!" She announced her return twice as she turned on the lights, illuminating the living room, only to find it empty. Nobody around. Silent too, almost uncharacteristically so for Sayori's house.
Normally, this should have been her father's prime time for television, the volume on full blast as he watched all of his favorite series' recorded on the DVR. Usually her mother watches with them, the smell of freshly made popcorn filling the entire living room. But… no such thing tonight. Odd. Very odd.
"I guess you guys aren't home. That's… That's cool. It's not like I needed to come home to a loving family after a stressful night. Whatever" She sighed as she walked deeper into her home, searching the entire house to see if her parents had left any sort of note for her. Something to announce where they where and when they'd be back. They hadn't.
Didn't even bother to cook dinner for her either, the stove bare, clean and unused. The fridge practically empty as well, Sayori unable to make anything for herself to eat, even though she knew nothing when it came to cooking.
Than again, why should her parents actually bother keeping food in the house? Sayori would just eat it all. Scarf it down like the never ending garbage disposal that she was, forcing them to buy more. She was starting to think they left the house empty on purpose. If so, Sayori understood. No need to waste time and money on her eating disorders anyways.
She sighed. Tonight must have been date night for them, her parents sectioning off one day out of the week to dedicate to themselves. Tonight must have been that night. She hoped they had gone to a restaurant or something. At least then, Sayori could eat whatever they brought back in the morning.
She sighed again as she unzipped her sweater, hanging it on the coat rack as she lazily plopped herself down on the couch, remote in hand as she turned on the television and flicked through the channels, the button clicking over and over, Sayori growing more annoyed as she surfed the channels, unable to find anything good to help take her mind off tonight.
"Trash. All of it" She grunted in aggravation as she stood up, pressing the button on the remote, the television turning off. "You know what? Never mind. I'm going to bed" She said as she made her way upstairs, heading to her room.
Sleep. That was what she needed. Just needed to sleep this horrible night off and forget about it. Forget all about the back breaking labor that she put in, only to realize it was all in vain. Forget about practically humiliating herself in front of total strangers by reciting that trash poem. That complete piece of utter garbage!
Forget all about Yuri… kissing Aaron. Making out with her childhood friend so shamelessly, right in front of her too! Only for Yuri to just brush it all aside, like it was nothing! Like it was something she'd been doing every day! And Aaron… Sayori didn't even want to think about it anymore! She just wanted to sleep. Just wanted to sleep and never wake up.
She sighed in frustration as she began climbing the stairs, her feet practically exhausted as she made them ascend further and further up the flight, feeling as if she should have been up their already. Yet oddly, she wasn't.
As she kept acceding the flight of stairs, her body began to feel as if it was getting heavier and heavier with every step, her feet feeling as if they were weighted down by concrete shoes! Taking much more effort to even move her feet as her head began to feel… foggy. Dizzy, a splitting headache suddenly coming to her, pulsing hard, pounding her skull, making her grunt softly in pain.
Just… a few… more steps.
"Aah!" She shouted as she collapsed on the staircase, unable to lift her body back up, feeling as if a fifty pound weight had been placed on her back, forcing her to now crawl up the steps, her headache getting worse as she finally made it to the top, the climb being so taxing on her, she felt as if she'd ran out of breath.
"What the hell is going on with me?" She asked as she struggled to get back on her feet, feeling the weight grow heavier and heavier by the second, the hallway spinning round and round, making Sayori feel nauseous as she struggled to keep her balance, walking towards her bedroom door.
Okay, this wasn't because of the festival. Couldn't have been. Something was very clearly wrong with Sayori. Had she gotten sick? Obtained some sort of flu or cold from someone? Was she suffering from food poisoning brought on by whatever she had eaten today? Or was the festival really that tiring for her? Really that physically and mentally exhausting?
Well, she supposed it was. After all, she had put in quite a lot of effort tonight, especially when it came to appearing… normal. What happened back there, seeing Yuri and Aaron kiss. It just felt so… disheartening, Sayori feeling the rain clouds just dogpiling on her mercilessly, beating her down so viciously after what she'd seen.
She couldn't let her club members or any of the visitors see her like that though. She had to hide it. Had to hide how she felt, just like she did every other time.
She felt as if she would break down and cry at any second because of Yuri and Aaron. And the scary part was that she didn't know why! She didn't know why seeing Aaron kiss her so passionately had made Sayori furious! She didn't know why she felt so angry and bitter towards Yuri because of that. She didn't know why she felt as if the entire performance was a waste of time and effort! She didn't know anything!
She. Didn't. Know. Anything.
She sighed in relief as she finally reached her bedroom door, her hand gripping the doorknob tightly, slowly opening it to enter her ro-
"What the hell?!" She shouted loudly, fear and dread coursing through her as she saw… herself… hanging from the roof of her bedroom, a noose wrapped around her own neck, the whole body limb and lifeless as tiny drops of blood dripped from its fingertips, Sayori unable to look away as she watched her own corpse sway back and forth slowly, like a pendulum. "Is this… Is this supposed to be me?" She asked in pure shock as she took a step closer, her arm reaching out to touch the body, only to quickly pull her hand away once she felt the cold flesh, her hands covering her mouth as she felt the bile rise in her throat.
"But… But this can't be me! This isn't me! I'm right here! I'm alive! I'd… I'd never do this!" She shouted loudly to the corpse, unable to tear herself away from it, forced to gaze into her own cold, dead eyes. "I mean… I've had thoughts. B-But I'd never… Aaron! He'd never forgive me if I did this!" She began to feel the tears form under her eyes.
"But he doesn't need you anymore…" She swore she heard a voice come from the corpse. "Doesn't care about you anymore. He's with Yuri now. A straight upgrade if you ask me. She's so much smarter than you. So much prettier than you. She's a woman. And what are you? You're a little girl! You're a pathetic, weak little girl in charge of a club of losers and misfits! Outcasts! The rejects of civilized society! Freaks! Freaks with a pathetic, suicidal child as their leader!"
"Sh-Shut up! You don't know what you're talking about!" Sayori shouted angrily to the corpse, the tears slowly falling down her face. "You're not real! None of this is real! I'm in a bad dream! A nightmare! I need to wake up! I just need to wake up!" She sobbed loudly as she collapsed into a small ball on the floor, her knees in her chest as she clutched her skull tightly. "Please… Please let me wake up! Please!" She begged pathetically.
"Oh… Poor little Sayori's crying her eyes out again! God, is that all you know how to do?! Cry like a little kid! You're so pathetic! Why don't you do the world an actual favor and kill yourself so it doesn't have to deal with you anymore! Believe it or not, it's actually incredibly beneficial for your mental health!"
"SHUT UP!" She screamed loudly, trying to drown out the piercing voice as her headache worsened tremendously, her own skull feeling as if it were about to burst. "JUST GET OUT OF MY HEAD ALREADY! GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD, M̶̼̤̑̈Ȍ̸̰̰̪N̷̲̿͂̽I̴̝̳̗̿͝K̷̛̪͗A̴̤͘!̴̮̆̍"
Wait… M̶̖̥͑͛ơ̵͇͐͌n̵̛͙̾̈ǐ̶̯̟k̸̟̿̿͝a̵͇͍̿̉?̵̢̳͆̿͠
"Who… Who's M̶̖̥͑͛ơ̵͇͐͌n̵̛͙̾̈ǐ̶̯̟k̸̟̿̿͝a̵͇͍̿̉?̵̢̳͆̿͠" Sayori asked as the name randomly popped into her mind, causing her to yelp loudly in pain as she fell to the floor, her mind pounding painfully as random flashes of light assaulted her eyes, forcing her to shut them tightly, her ears unable to hear anything save for a deafening static as visions upon visions forced themselves onto Sayori. Visions of herself. The club. Yuri. Natsuki. Aaron and… someone else. Sayori couldn't place the figure.
But that face… it felt so familiar, her brain practically exploding as she tried to place the identity of this person, the air suddenly becoming so thick. So heavy and unbreathable, almost like it was smoke! Sayori beginning to cough and wheeze madly as she struggled to breathe, gasping for air, feeling as if she was being strangled, her face turning blue as her hands gripped her own throat, feeling something wrap itself around her neck, only to feel nothing! Nothing stopping her from breathing! Her body unconvinced as she began clawing at her neck, tearing into her flesh, the blood staining her fingers before she felt the precious oxygen she had left escape her, her body going limp, sprawling out on the floor.
Her vision was dark. Faded. But she could still see. Still see as she laid on the floor. Dead? No. Something else. She tried with whatever might she had left to move her body, only to find it unresponsive, Sayori unable to move, left on the floor of her bedroom, the feet of her hung corpse the only thing she could see as they slowly swayed left to right.
And just as she felt her eyes begin to close… She heard something. Small. Faint, yet there. A giggle? Something like that. It belonged to a woman, Sayori now able to hear the small pattering of shoes. Heels clicking against the hardwood floor as a woman came into view.
Beautiful emerald green eyes. Her long, milk chocolate brown hair tied in a ponytail with a white bow holding it in place as she looked down at Sayori, smiling widely.
"Hiya, pal! Long time no see!" She giggled happily as she looked down at Sayori. "How's it…" She stopped to chuckle, as if she was thinking of something funny. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't make jokes, but I can't help it! So, how's it hanging?"
"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Sayori screamed loudly, bolting up from the floor, her body instantly returning to life, only to find her bedroom… empty.
It was gone… Everything was gone. The corpse. The voice. The headache. Even the girl. It was just Sayori. Sayori and the furniture in her bedroom. Her dark, silent bedroom. She was alone… All alone, folding back into her little ball as she laid in the middle of her room, rocking back and forth as she began weeping uncontrollably, the floor wet by her constant stream of tears as she remained in that exact spot all night, eventually crying herself to sleep.
"Stay away… Stay away… Don't come near me… Leave me alone…"