I Think I Broke Her…
I didn't mean to, honestly. It just… Well, it just sort of happened.
Now that I think about it, I'm not even sure what happened. I just… I got so tired of it all. Tired of this place. Tired of this dark, empty, cold, lonely, miserable void I've been forced into. This sea of depressing black, the sound of nothing other than my own thoughts practically driving me insane.
And to think… I used to relish the idea of total silence. Used to love quiet places like this. Used to love the isolation and privacy they brought me.
But now… I don't even want to be in a single room by myself anymore. I can't stand even the idea of silence for more than a second. That's how horrid this awful purgatory is. How crazy it's driven me. I feel like this void is slowly eating away at whatever I have left of my mind, forcing me to devolve into some debased creature! My sanity withering away until I have nothing left!
And then they came along again… The little flashes I'd have of them. Those visions.
I still don't know if that's actually them I'm seeing or just my mind conjuring them up from memory. But honestly, I don't really care which it is at this point. It's just… the sights of their faces. The sounds of their voices. The feeling of their presence. It felt nice at first. So comforting, like a wholesome trip down memory lane, my mind recalling all the good times I had with them. All the happiness I used to feel alongside them.
It didn't last long, given how brief our time was… in the grand scheme of things. And the more unappealing memories leave a bad taste in my mouth. But still, they were memories all the same.
I kind of took it a step too far though. Began viewing and recalling these memories over and over to an obsessive degree. I know it was wrong but… It's lonely here. So lonely. And the thought of being with them again brought me comfort. Comfort I had been deprived of for so long.
Eventually, I snapped. I went crazy. I couldn't… I couldn't take it anymore! I had to leave this place! I had to find a way out and get back to them! I had to see them in person one more time! I had to… I had to go home.
And I did! I don't know how I did it, but I did! I escaped, even if it was just for a moment. Just for a small second.
The time didn't matter to me. What mattered was that, for that single second, I was free! Free from that awful void of a prison! Free from that black, empty abyss! I was home again! Finally, after so long, I was home!
The very first thing I felt was the coolness of the wind in my face! I relished in it. Relished in the clean, fresh air in my lungs! The beauty of the night moon and accompanying stars! The color of the world around me!
After being trapped in that godforsaken abyss for so long… Seeing only black. Only dark. It… It made me cry a little. Made me shed tears. Tears of joy, of course! I was just so happy to be back.
But my visit home was a short one, as you no doubt know. For I have now been thrown back into my prison. Thrown back into captivity, willingly this time. I… I messed up again.
I should have stopped there. I should have just been content with my one second of freedom. My small glimpse back into the world I called home, even if it was all nothing but computer code. Nothing more than ones and zeros. It was still my home.
I should have been content with just seeing it again, but no. Like the idiot I am, I wanted more than to just see my world again. I wanted… I wanted to see them again.
That's when I realized my mistake. That's when I remembered why I was trapped in that void in the first place. That's when I remembered why I didn't leave sooner. That's when I realized I had to go back, even if it was to my dismay.
The moment I saw her face… I knew what I did was wrong. The way she looked at me. The way she screamed for me to go away. For me to leave her alone. For me to stay as far away from her as possible… It hurt me. Hurt me like an impact with an oncoming train. It broke my heart. I understand why she acted as such, but it still hurt.
I wasn't trying to do anything to her. All I did was say hi. All I did was greet her. Okay… Maybe the hanging joke was a little too much. Definitely overstepped it there. It was wrong and even thinking about it in hindsight makes me sick! But honestly, that was all I did. Anything else that may have happened… Anything else she may have seen or heard wasn't my fault, so why did she scream at me like that?
Come to think of it, she was acting rather strange before she even looked at me. The way she collapsed onto the floor like that, what was that all about? Was something wrong with her? Was she sick? Was she hurt? Did she see something? Feel something? And… did I have something to do with it?
Oh… I hope not. I really hope I didn't break anything again. But with this gigantic mess of code, you never know, especially after the damage I did to it before.
"…"
"I… went out again, just to check on her. Just to make sure she was okay. She wasn't."
"I don't know what it was about her, but she seemed so… different today. So off and out of it. Sometimes, I catch her spacing out and staring off into nothingness, only to snap out of it seconds later. I saw her moods shift and change so rapidly, going from happy to sad. Angry to calm in an instant! Like all her emotions were connected to one big switch that was being flicked on and off repeatedly.
While yes, she used to do that a lot back then, it was never to this extent. Not to mention all the headaches I've seen her have. Throbbing, painful headaches. Like her brain is trying to force its way out of her skull"
"I wish I could have done something to help her, or to at least find out what was happening. But… after the way she reacted to me the first time, I won't dare take another chance. I won't get anywhere near her or the others! In fact, that was the last time I'm ever going out there again!"
"I have to understand and face this like a big girl! I have to own up and accept the facts! I'm… I'm dangerous. Too dangerous to be around normal people anymore. This place. This void. It's made to keep freaks like me away from the normal people. To keep the unwanted, damaged, dangerous files away from the program. So sufficed to say, that place, that reality… It isn't my home… Not anymore anyway"
"This void… This abyss… This sea of infinite black that I despise and hate with every fiber of my being. This cold, dark, empty, lonely, depressing place. This is my home now… And I hate it. I hate it so much! But… Home is home, right?"
"…Right?"
"I really hope she's okay…"
"I hope… I hope I didn't hurt her again"
Natsuki's hands twitched nervously as she turned the knob on her bedroom door, opening it slightly to peer her head out, nervously looking down both ends of the dark hallway.
She breathed a sigh of relief when she found the hallway empty, her father not anywhere near. And judging by the lack of light, he wasn't planning on coming through anytime soon, another reason for Natsuki to be relieved as she opened her bedroom door fully, taking a step out of her room, careful not to make a sound as she walked through the dark hallway on the tips of her toes.
She knew she still wasn't allowed to leave her room yet. Was still grounded for 'causing a scene in public' as her father put it. It had actually been two days since that happened, Natsuki trapped inside her room the entire time.
And yes, that also meant that she went unfed the entire time.
She groaned quietly in pain as she felt her stomach growl, it flaring up at even the mere thought of food, the hunger she felt within herself actually starting to become painful. Actually starting to hurt her as she walked through her hallway, coming to the flight of stairs that led down into the living room, which subsequently led into the kitchen, Natsuki trying her best to remain quiet. A challenge when descending such an old set of stairs, the wood creaking ever so quietly as she walked.
She knew she shouldn't be doing this. Knew she should have stayed in her room and just waited her punishment out… But she just couldn't take it anymore!
The hunger… It hurt. It hurt so bad, Natsuki convinced that her stomach was actually trying to eat itself as the ache continued, her body crying out, begging for some form of sustenance. Some form of nourishment. Something. Anything.
It didn't need to be a five course meal or anything. She'd eat crumbs if she had to. The point was that she needed at least something in her system to settle her stomach down. Something to stop the hunger. The aching she felt.
Two days. For two whole days, Natsuki has been locked in her room without so much as a snack to fill her, the breakfast she'd eaten before being punished only getting her so far. Only filling her up so slightly. Providing so little fuel. It was eggs and toast, for god's sake. Not exactly a big, filling breakfast. And for someone like Natsuki, a person who went underfed regularly, it was barely enough for her body to even function.
She wished she had the power to keep her big mouth shut sometimes. That's what got her into this mess in the first place.
All she had to do was stay quiet back there. Just sit there. Smile and nod to everything her father said and just… remain silent. Be seen, not heard. At least then, she wouldn't have been punished the way she was. Wouldn't be abused and starved. Wouldn't have been locked in her room all weekend, unable to go anywhere, do anything or see anybody. Could have been free, fed and untouched as long as she just… kept quiet.
But no. No, Natsuki was too prideful for that. Too stubborn, unable to resist throwing her opinions at everyone. Unable to resist inserting her two cents into everything. Always fighting for the last word in almost every conversation she had.
God… How did everyone back at the club put up with her?
How did Sayori tolerate all the shouting and noise she made? The fights she'd start? The arguments. The debates. The insults. The name calling. The foul moods and temper tantrums. The way she looked down on everyone sometimes.
It… It got to her every once and awhile. The way she behaved outside of the house, always so abrasive. So harsh. So unapologetic. Hostile. Downright mean and vicious on some days.
It was a wonder she was still in the club, given all the trouble she causes. In fact, if Sayori were more like the presidents of the other clubs, concerned more with keeping order and stability, Natsuki would probably have been kicked out the day after she joined.
She was thankful it would never come to that though, knowing Sayori to be a good person, even when given a position of authority. Maybe she was too good of a person, now that Natsuki thought about it. Too easy to step on if you knew what to do. Too easy to manipulate if you pull on the right strings.
Natsuki could always rest easy knowing Sayori would never willingly remove her, however, there was always the risk of it happening, the line between being in the club and getting thrown out getting thinner with every bad mood. Every outburst. Every fight, Sayori only needing one complaint from another member before her hand got forced.
And boom! She's gone! A boot given to her rear as she flies out the door, all the junk she's stored in the club room over the months thrown out with her, Natsuki's last safe haven. Her last sanctuary. Her last safe place in this world gone because she picked one too many fights with the wrong kinds of people.
She shivered a little bit as she thought about that, deeply saddened by the idea of being thrown out of the club. Disregarded and left alone again. As it must have been rather obvious, Natsuki often had trouble when it came to making friends, and even more trouble when it came to keeping them, most of them keeping their distance a majority of the time, fearful of being verbally assaulted, no doubt. She had friends, of course. Well… acquaintances was a better word for them. People she at least knew on a somewhat personal level.
Her own class room wasn't that friendly with her though, a large portion of her classmates rarely speaking to her. Even the teacher was hard on her sometimes.
The club though, they seemed to be the exception. Sayori, Aaron and even Yuri being much nicer to Natsuki than the other people in school were. They tolerated her a lot more, even when she got moody. They didn't fight with her over it or really take issue. No, they just ignored her. Turned their heads. Covered their ears. Paid no attention.
Natsuki wasn't mad at them for this. In fact, she'd probably do the same, were she in their position. Probably would do worse, actually.
She knew that to prevent such things… To prevent the possibility of being kicked out of the club. To prevent her father yelling at her and abusing her. To make her life much more easier and bearable, all she had to do was keep her mouth shut. Keep her opinions and comments to herself and just… stay out of everyone's way. Be like Yuri. Keep quiet and tend to yourself. Pick a corner in the room and stay in it. Be seen, not heard.
Sadly, trying to do this was… hard. Too hard, Natsuki struggling to do any of what was just described, her impulses being far too difficult to control. She tries though. It's not like she actually wants to be so… difficult with everyone else. Not like she actually wants to fight and argue with everyone. She tries to prevent that stuff. Tries to contain herself. Tries to remain silent. Tries to be polite and respectful but… it's just hard for her. Hard to bottle herself up like that. Contain and control herself. Keep composure, Natsuki often giving up before she even starts, which results in her unruly behavior.
She always did feel bad after her outbursts ended, the scenes replaying in her mind over and over as she sees the way she acts. Hears the words she speaks thrown back at her. Feels the venom that leaks out of her own mouth sometimes. It's vile, incredibly so, Natsuki often wishing she could go back and stop herself multiple times. Apologize and make up with whoever her unlucky victim is.
But… As stated before, she's too prideful, petty and stubborn to do so, that kind of behavior being her inner nature, not something so easily tossed aside. She wished she could do so though. Wished she could stop being so petty and stubborn. Wished she could say she's sorry without feeling so… small. So weak. So pathetic. Wished she could just make nice with everyone.
Not with her father though. Natsuki felt no desire to extend that kind of decency to him, regardless of whether he'd do so first or not. Wouldn't even think of apologizing to him even if he did so first, mainly because she felt her behavior was justified in every sense of the word.
I mean, look at what this… fucking asshole does to his kid! Natsuki's been locked in her room for two whole days! Unfed! Living off a single serving of half eaten eggs and toast! Her unable to actually finish her meal before being forced home, leaving it unattended, most likely thrown away right about now. Turned into food for the filthy little rats that prowl dumpsters in the late hours of the night, the little bastards stuffing themselves with Natsuki's leftovers, being treated to their version of a five star dinner while she starves! All because she just had to call her father out on his bullshit!
She sighed at that. Despite it all, Natsuki actually felt bad for her father, even after all the pain he's put her through. He… He wasn't always like this. He used to be good. Used to be loving, caring and nurturing towards his daughter. And in her younger days, Natsuki used to be a total daddy's girl. His little princess at one point, their bond inseparable.
Well… not anymore, obviously. Natsuki no longer held in such high regard like she used to be. And not holding her father in high regard either, the two honestly just waiting for the other to drop dead. To just… stop being a part of each others lives, Natsuki begging, pleading for the day when she'd become a woman, no longer needing a parent in order to survive. Begging for the day when she could be able to move out and hold down a house of her own. Buy her own food. Tend to her own home… and be free of her father.
The worst part of it all? Natsuki still hoping that some time, on some day, he'd stop. Just stop the abuse. Stop the fighting. The arguing. The attacking. The starving. The hatred. Just… realize his mistake and go back to being the father she knew back then, before it all changed. Before that stone cold bitch she called a mother just… broke everything.
And then, maybe then… Natsuki could love him again. Then everything would just be… normal again. Everything could be safe. No more fighting. No more shouting. No more anger or hate. Just love, the bond between father and daughter rekindled and reinforced.
Natsuki sighed at that, her head looking down at the tiled floor of the kitchen, a deeply saddened frown on her face, knowing that such a dream was just that… A dream. A fantasy that would never come to pass. A dream never to come true. A fairy tale with no basis in reality.
It'd… It'd never happen. It's been too long. There's too much pain. Too much hurt. The bridge… It's too damaged, Natsuki knowing that hoping for things to get better was foolish. Idiotic. Childish and unrealistic. But still… she liked hoping. Liked holding onto the idea that some day… eventually, things might get better. This old house might become a happier place in time. She scoffed. Foolish girl she was, clinging onto a foolish dream.
"Yeah right…" She whispered with another sigh as she shook the dream out of her head, dismissing the idea of it ever happening as she silently walked to the refrigerator, opening it to find… nothing. Nothing at all! The entire fridge empty and bare, the only thing left being a half empty jug of milk, Natsuki's jaw slack in shock as she stood in front of the refrigerator, the light inside casting her shadow on the floor underneath her.
She then ran across her kitchen in a silent panic, quickly opening the cupboards, pantry, microwave and everything else, only to find nothing! Absolutely nothing! The entire kitchen empty. Bare. No food in sight, Natsuki grunting in frustration as she stomped angrily on the tiled floor, no longer caring about whether she was making any noise or not as her stomach growled louder, demanding food, Natsuki groaning again in pain as she felt the ache grow stronger.
She then gasped in fear as the kitchen lights suddenly turned on, Natsuki turning to the doorway only to find her father lurking in it, a furious glare on his face. His teeth gritted as he angrily walked deeper into the kitchen, Natsuki backing away slowly only for her to end up against the refrigerator door, her father forcefully grabbing her by the wrist, gripping painfully tight.
"And what do you think you're doing?!" He asked loudly, his voice on the verge of shouting.
"N-Nothing! Nothing, I-"
"Nothing?!" Her father interrupted. "Don't you remember what happened the last time you lied to me? Or do you need to be reminded? Why are you out of your room? You're supposed to be grounded" He stated.
"I-I know that! I was just… I got so hungry! It's gotten to the point where it hurts! Please! I… I need something! Anything! I'll eat crumbs for god's sake! Just-"
"Quiet!" Her father interrupted again, a look of pure anger on his face as he stared down his daughter, gritting his teeth hardly. "How dare you disobey me! I gave you an order, girl! A command! You weren't supposed to leave that room until I said so! Not until you learned your lesson! Which you still obviously haven't. Do we need to extend your punishment? A week? Two weeks? Three?! A month?!"
"I'll die!" Natsuki shouted back fearfully. "You're actually going to kill me! I'll die of starvation! Is that what you want?! To lock me in a room while I slowly die?! Why?! Why are you doing this to me?!"
"BECAUSE YOU RUINED MY LIFE, YOU LITTLE BITCH!" Her father yelled loudly as his palm smacked against Natsuki's cheek, slapping her hard as she yelped in pain, the force sending her to the floor, her laying on the cold tile as she started weeping, Her father standing up, his shadow cast over her. "You took my wife away from me. Made her walk out and leave me all alone! You destroyed my marriage! And for what? Just so you could be born?! Just so little Natsuki could become a part of this big, bright, beautiful world?!"
"Well, It's not my fault you don't know how to pull out!" Natsuki shouted back snidely, even as she was face down on the kitchen floor, she was still prepared with a comeback for almost everything, Her father gasping in shock as he heard that, his anger growing to near explosive levels after hearing his daughter's disgraceful remark.
"You little… I… Get back in your room this instant!" He commanded as he pointed to the doorway leading out of the kitchen, Natsuki ignoring him as she lay on the floor, trying to gather the strength to pick herself up. "I SAID NOW!" Her father yelled as he grabbed Natsuki by her hair, his fist clutching one of her twin tails tightly as he pulled hard, Natsuki screaming in pain as she was practically dragged out of the kitchen by her hair, being forced up the stairs and thrown into her room.
"You wanna act like a spoiled, disobedient, immature brat? Congratu-fucking-lations, you get to be treated like one!" Her father shouted as he stood in the doorway. "I catch you out of this room again, and I'll make you wish you were dead, bitch! Now, while you sit here and think about what you've done, I'm gonna go get myself a little something to eat. Maybe stop in at a nice restaurant. Have a steak! Or maybe some chicken! Don't worry, Natsuki. I'll be sure to bring back leftovers. After all, you said you'd be content with crumbs" He laughed as he shut the door, Natsuki screaming loudly in anger as she stood up, charging at the door, ramming herself into it in an attempt to break it down, her fists slamming against the wood as she screamed.
"FUCK YOU, YOU PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST CHOKE AND DIE ALREADY?! CHOKE AND DIE SO YOU CAN FINALLY LEAVE ME ALONE!" She screamed at the top of her lungs as she slammed her fists against the door, pounding it hardly, trying to break it down, it being unfazed by her attacks, Natsuki barely able to do any sort of damage. "YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!" She screamed again as she picked up her desk chair, banging it against the door in a frenzied rage, only to then lean against the door as she breathed in and out deeply, heavily, her yelling taking all her energy away before she sat on the floor, her back now against the door as her knees went to her chest, Natsuki curling into a little ball as she started crying.
She stood there for god knows how long, her back against the door that kept her locked in her room, holding her knees as she just… collapsed and cried. Sobbed for hours on end as she laid there in her room.
She stopped eventually, shedding her last tear as she wiped her nose with her sleeve, her breathing finally settled, the crying having calmed her down somewhat. Gave her a way to vent, Natsuki sighing as she looked around the dark room, it having very little light present, the room basically pitch black.
Regardless of what had just happened, Natsuki wasn't going to stay locked up like this. Wasn't going to bend and give in so easily, especially not with her stomach roaring so loudly. Empty house or not, Natsuki was not going to let her father starve her like this. She was going to eat something tonight! Anything she could get her hands on! Regardless of what it was! She refused to stay locked in her room, crying while her stomach slowly digested itself! If there was no food in the house, then Natsuki obviously had no choice but to go get some!
She nodded once in determination as she finally stood on her feet, making her way to the small dresser holding her clothes, Natsuki opening one of the draws to pull out a light purple hoodie. She then opened the draw above that, digging through the neatly folded clothing, only to pull out a small wallet, the leather dyed hot pink and studded with rhinestones. Natsuki's little hidden cache of emergency funds, hidden away and saved for a time when she'd need it the most, now being that time.
So, daddy dearest wants to go and enjoy a nice restaurant, eh? Well, what's stopping Natsuki from doing the same? What's stopping Natsuki from going out and eating at a restaurant herself? A simple wooden door? Please.
After putting on and zipping up her hoodie, she put her wallet in her pocket and walked to her bedroom door, turning the knob and pulling the door, only to find that it wouldn't open, Natuski's father most likely wedging something against it on the other side in order to keep his daughter locked in. A chair perhaps, Natsuki huffing at that as she tried a different way out. The window on the other side of the room.
She opened it and looked down, seeing the large distance between her and the ground below, Natsuki's room being too high up for her to safely jump out, and of course, there was no way to safely climb out without possibly falling and hurting herself. No way to climb back inside either.
An idea then came to Natsuki as she turned around and walked to her bed, pulling off its sheets, blanket and pillowcases, tying them together tightly, Natsuki smiling gleefully at her creation. A makeshift rope made of bedsheets.
You're probably shaking your head right now, aren't you? Yeah, Natsuki would have honestly done the same thing, a writer such as herself being fully aware of these sorts of tropes and cliches, often making fun of them, knowing that this probably wouldn't work in reality, this kind of stuff being possible only in the realm of fantasy and fiction. Only in the kiddy cartoons and books. Baby's first novel stuff.
Still though, Natsuki was desperate. Too desperate. And desperate people do desperate things, Natsuki not really having a choice here as she tied one end of her makeshift rope to her bedpost, throwing the other end out the window.
She gave the rope a good hard tug before she even thought of climbing down, making sure to test if it could actually handle her weight. Surprise surprise, it did! Proved rather sturdy and strong, Natsuki taking the opportunity to give herself a little pat on the back for that.
"Sometimes, I even amaze myself!" She gloated out loud, chuckling slightly as she climbed out of her window feet first, her hands gripping the makeshift rope tightly as she carefully descended, eventually making it to the ground safely, landing in her backyard. It was easy, like the rope in gym class.
After she made it down, she gave the rope a second tug, finding out that even after taking on her weight, it was still holding together, Natsuki confident that once she came home, she could be able to easily climb back up. It'll be like she never even left her room.
Anyways, now that she was free, she pulled up her hood and sprinted towards the fence, hopping over it with ease before coming onto the streets, walking down the sidewalk as she made her way towards a place she knew of, having eaten there at least once before.
A small soup shop a few blocks down, serving everything from ramen noodles to stews and chowders, Natsuki and the rest of the club visiting the place once on their way home after school.
It wasn't exactly premium food. Not the most fanciest of dinners either. But it was rather filling. Cheap too, a plus in Natsuki's eyes, due to her having limited funds, most of which were scavenged from whatever she could find and even stolen from some people.
Not like robbed stolen or anything like that! Just… misplaced stolen… sort of.
Like, say a boy leaves a small amount of money on his desk while he gets ready for lunch. Maybe like a dollar or two. Well… Sometimes it's not exactly there when he gets back, you catch Natsuki's drift?
While yes, it's not exactly nice for her to steal from others, her often feeling guilty for doing so, she felt as if she needed to. The girl needed to take what she could get in order to survive! In order to eat! So her hands tend to… wander around when nobody's looking.
It pained her to admit it, even to herself, but this also meant stealing from her club mates as well. She picked Yuri's pocket once. Made off with her lunch money, using it to pay for her own lunch instead. Stole a snack from Sayori's bag once too. Even swiped a sandwich from Aaron a few weeks back, none of them ever guessing her to be the culprit of the thefts.
She felt awful every time she did, of course. These were her friends she was stealing from. Her club members. Her classmates. But… She felt as if she had no choice. As stated before, she was desperate. And desperate people do… desperate things. Awful things. Things that Natsuki wouldn't do otherwise.
She finally approached the restaurant, seeing it come into view, the bright neon sign with a revolving bowl of noodles being the first thing she saw.
She made her way up to the restaurant, walking to one of the windows, peeking in to see if the place was still open for business. She breathed a sigh of relief to find that it was, serving what looked to be the last few customers of the night, Natsuki hoping that she wouldn't be denied service for coming in during their last work hour of the night, keeping the employees on the job just to tend to her.
She pulled out her wallet before walking up to the door, taking a second to do a last minute check of her funds. See what she could afford and what she couldn't. Even though she was starving and could probably down ten bowls at once, she had to be responsible with her spending. After all, the school makes students buy their lunches, rather than just serve it to them. And Natsuki didn't feel particularly comfortable spending all her money on soup, only to end up stealing from others again come the next school day.
She gasped in horror as she opened her wallet, her eyes practically bulging out of their sockets when she found it empty, her money disappeared, Natsuki's jaw falling open as she stared into the empty wallet, almost unable to believe it, rapidly closing and opening it in a desperate hope that her lost funds would suddenly reappear like magic, Natsuki frantically breathing as she shook her head in disbelieve. "N-No! This can't be happening!" She nearly cried, the hard reality of her situation, the fact that she would be denied food causing small tears to form under her eyes. "This isn't happening!" She screamed as she fell to her knees, her hopes of finally filling her stomach crushed as she laid in the asphalt parking lot, sniffling and sobbing at her misfortune.
She couldn't understand it! Couldn't wrap her brain around it! That wallet was filled with cash! Literally months worth of snatching and sneaking stray dollars and coins, Natsuki having hid that money for emergencies just like this!
How?! Why?! Why had it just been suddenly ripped away from her? Vanished! Disappeared! Stolen!
Stolen… He took it. Her father.
That was the only logical explanation, her father no doubt finding out about her hidden stash of funds and helping himself like the greedy pig he was! Taking his daughter's money away from her, leaving not so much as a single coin behind.
"When I get my hands on him! I'll… I'll…" She grunted in frustration as she held her fists to her face, clutching them tightly in anger as she felt tears run down her cheeks. "Goddammit!" She screamed as the bottoms of her fists collided with the asphalt ground beneath her, Natsuki trying her hardest to contain herself as she felt her anger surge, making her feel as if she was going to burst at any moment.
"Natsuki?" She picked her head up as she heard a male's voice coming from behind her, causing her to sigh audibly as she recognized it.
"Out of all the times…" She whispered to herself as she stood to her feet, her hands moving up to pull her hood over her head, hiding her face within as she turned to look at the owner of the voice.
Aaron, standing in the middle of the parking lot with his hands in the pockets of his denim jeans, his white hoodie lazily thrown on, not even zipped up as he took a step closer to Natsuki, his slightly superior size causing him to look down at her.
He didn't say anything initially, his eyes looking Natsuki up and down. From top to bottom, as if examining her, her seeing this, causing her to pull on the cords at the end of her hood, tightening it to better hide her face.
"Are you okay?" He asked, his tone low. Quiet. Concerned.
"Y-Yeah! I'm fine! I'm like, totally fine! Never been better!" Natsuki said with a fake smile while giving an obvious lie. One Aaron saw immediately, given the behavior he observed just now. "What's it to you anyways?" Natsuki added, her tone purposely changing to sound more hostile and unapproachable, as it often sounded when she was in one of her moods, her hoping to shoo Aaron away. "Why… Why are you looking at me like that?!" She shouted.
"No reason" Aaron stated calmly, his arms crossed as his head tilted to the side, his eyes narrowing slightly, causing his gaze to become sharper, more piercing, like a scolding parent. A subconscious response to Natsuki's rude tone, no doubt. "So, what are you doing here? Why were you laying in the middle of the parking lot just now?" He asked.
"Oh, you didn't hear? Yours truly got a job as a parking lot inspector. I was just testing the consistency of the asphalt, obviously" Natsuki said sarcastically, rolling her eyes as she crossed her arms, clutching them tightly.
"Well somebody's in a bad mood. Something happen?" Aaron asked.
"Dear god, you just can't stop interrogating me, can you? Is this some kind of scummy pick up tactic guys use on girls? Constantly forcing annoying, stupid questions onto them in the hopes of starting conversation? Pretty pathetic, even for someone like you" Natsuki hissed, hoping her negative responses would annoy Aaron to the point where he'd just leave. She wasn't actually angry at him for anything. She just didn't want him to see her in this… pathetic state she was in. So, she was trying to force him away. "Look, it may work on Yuri, but it doesn't work on me, so quit it!"
"Quit what? I'm not doing anything to you. I'm just talking. There's no need to be so angry at me over nothing. I'm just trying to be friendly. So, you gonna tell me why you're out so late, in front of a restaurant that's about to close while you slam your fists into the ground?" Aaron asked again, his tone still relatively calm and collected, if a little annoyed.
"I'd ask the same question for you! Why are you out here, huh?" Natsuki asked back. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were probably stalking me because you're… a creep! Yeah, you… creep!" She accused, chocking on her words slightly, no doubt a sign that her resolve was weakening, her running out of things to say, unable to keep up the act for much longer.
"Not doing anything like that. Me and Sayori are watching this big anime marathon tonight. All our favorite shows running with no commercials. I ordered some food before it started and I'm here to pick it up" Aaron stated in a matter-of-fact tone. Even, collected and contained. In check and under control. Very similar to the way Yuri often spoke, minus the staggering and stammering once and awhile, Aaron giving a perfectly reasonable answer to Natsuki's question. "Okay, now your turn. Why are you here?"
"Fine. I'm just… taking a walk" Natsuki claimed. "It just got a little… hectic at home, so I'm taking a walk to clear my head. Get some fresh air and all that. Only, my legs gave out and I fell"
"Really?" Aaron asked skeptically. "So why'd you pound your fists on the ground and say you're gonna to do something to someone when you get your hands on them?"
"I… I-I! What I meant was that…" Natsuki choked on her words before sighing in frustration, finally caving in after Aaron called her bluff. "Okay. You win. You pay too much attention to this kinda stuff, you know" She said, huffing slightly. "I was… I was hungry and came here to get something to eat. But I'm out of money because my dad went through my wallet without me knowing, see?" She explained as she showed the empty wallet to Aaron. "That got me a little mad so I'm-"
"Taking the anger out on the ground?" Aaron asked, finishing her sentence, a small grin on his face. The satisfied grin one wears when they finally get what they want, Natsuki wishing she could slap that stupid grin right off… without feeling bad about doing so afterward.
"Yeah…" Natsuki sighed again, only to then huff at her actions, recalling a time when she did the same thing about a few weeks ago, Aaron seeing that as well. "Sound familiar?" She asked.
"Yeah. Too familiar" Aaron said, his grin changing into a small smile, happy to see Natsuki telling the truth to him. "Do you need anything?" He asked in concern as he saw Natsuki lower her head, staring at the ground.
"I need a lot of things, Aaron. A lot of things" She said vaguely, her gaze still on the ground beneath her feet, refusing to lift her head to look at him, feeling as if she wouldn't be able to handle seeing the look on his face. "I could start with a nice, hot bowl of soup though. Or… two. Or three" She said, sounding slightly desperate as Aaron saw her clutch her stomach, him almost able to hear it growling in hunger.
"Okay then. Come on, let's go" Aaron said as he walked towards the entrance, motioning for Natsuki to follow, only to look back when he realized she hadn't moved from her spot. Didn't follow. Just… stood there, looking over to Aaron, as if in disbelief. "Hey, um… You coming?" He asked as he turned back, Natsuki sighing again, this time in annoyance as she shook her head.
"Are you deaf? I said I didn't have any money! What're you gonna do? Buy my food for me?" She asked.
"Well… Sure! If you want me to" Aaron said with a smile, Natsuki surprised to hear that he'd do that for her, and after she was so rude before.
"This again? Look, I told you before that I-"
"I'm not taking no for an answer, Natsuki" Aaron asserted. "Either you come in here and get some food, or I'm bringing it out to you! And if you're not here when I get back, I'll just send it to your house!"
"No!" Natsuki shouted almost immediately, her hand jutting out in front of her, as if to stop Aaron from doing such a thing, the idea of him at her doorstep genuinely frightening her, her father tending to get very… agitated when she's around or even looks at boys. The idea of her father meeting Aaron on accident, only to have him get infuriated at the sight of the boy genuinely terrifying her. "A-Alright. Alright, you win. You can… You can buy my food for me. B-But this is one hundred percent voluntary! Your choice! I don't owe you anything for this, got it?!"
"Got it" Aaron said as he walked to the entrance of the restaurant, holding the door open, Natsuki huffing as she passed through, her arms crossed and clutching each other tightly, Aaron able to hear the irritated mumbling she made to herself, him paying no mind to it as the two picked a table and sat down, patiently waiting to be served.
While yes, the restaurant was by all means, a cheap soup shop, it didn't exactly behave in the way other fast food joints did. This place had tables, not booths. Menus for each person, not a gigantic board mounted above the counter. Waiters to come and take your order before bringing it to you, rather than shout your name half way across the room, only for you to get up and take your food.
So in a way, it behaved less like a fast food place, and more like a small, locally owned diner, which in a way, it was.
Natsuki sighed quietly as she and Aaron sat at a small, two person table near the very end of the diner, her choosing to quietly gaze out the window, watching the cars pass and the people walk by, Aaron sighing himself as he did the opposite, looking around the diner, only to see it emptied now, the tables around him filled with dirty dishes, used drinking glasses and utensils, him able to hear the small grunts from the various employees, no doubt in his mind that they were irritated with having to serve one last pair of customers before closing up, Aaron and Natsuki delaying their quitting time.
It originally wasn't supposed to be like this, Aaron only wanting to pick up the food he called in ahead for and head home. Though now that he had to pay for Natsuki's food, his return home and his return to Sayori, who was waiting patiently, may be a bit… delayed.
Shame about that. He was really looking forward to spending the last night of the weekend with her, hoping that their small moment together would be the perfect thing for sorting everything out with her. Talking with her to find out if she was okay. And of course… getting to the bottom of the situation with Yuri, Sayori and Natsuki still in the dark about their relationship.
"So, um… how's life?" Aaron asked, attempting to break the silence and start conversation, Natsuki turning her head away from the window to look at him. She didn't respond however, just sighed again, one of her hands resting on the table, fingernails tapping on the surface as the other held her head. "So… your dad just reaches into your wallet and takes your money? Without even asking you? That's kinda mean" Aaron continued with his attempts to start conversation, regardless of Natsuki's unwillingness to participate.
Just to clarify, he wasn't saying this in an attempt to fish for drama from Natsuki, he just didn't really have anything else to say or talk about. No interesting topics or subjects to discuss with her. That, and he knows how much Natsuki likes to rant when she's irritated, Aaron thinking that if he opened up the opportunity for her to vent, she'd take it and feel better after doing so.
"Kinda mean…" She repeated lowly, scoffing as she crossed her arms again, her head turned off to the side, as she usually does when she pouts, Aaron unable to see her face, due to the hood still covering it. "Yeah. Roots around through my wallet without my permission. Takes my money. Shouts and yells at me for… just being in the same room as him! Locks me in a room for days and starves me! Yeah… He's kinda mean!" And the rant commenced, Natsuki unknowingly revealing the troubles she faced at home as she stood up from her chair, having gotten carried away in her rant.
"Your father starves you?!" Aaron asked in shock, Natsuki immediately jumping back in shock, her hands covering her mouth after realizing she'd said too much. "Oh… Oh my god! Are you serious?! You're serious, aren't you?!" Aaron added in concern.
"I…N-No! Of course not! I-I mean… What I meant to say was that… You… Stop looking at me like that!" She shouted angrily as she plopped back down in her chair, her arms crossed again as she sulked. "I-I just… Look, it's none of your business, okay? My family! My life! My problems! Don't get involved!" She said dismissively, swatting her hand as if she were shooing away a housefly.
"Why are you being so defensive about this? Natsuki, if you're getting abused by your father, that's a serious thing! Something has to be done about that! You have to… You have to talk to somebody!"
"Why? So I can get patted on the back? So people can huddle around me and go 'Oh, you poor thing! Oh, I feel so bad for you! Here, let me comfort and coddle you to make you feel better, you sweet, innocent child!' Please!" Natsuki scoffed. "What exactly is that going to accomplish, huh? Is that gonna make it all better somehow? Is that magically going to fix all my problems? Is it going to stop all the pain and suffering? No! It won't! Nothing does… So why should people even bother?"
"Natsuki…"
"What? Are you gonna do it too? Pat me gently on the back and tell me how much you pity me? Go 'Everything will be okay' over and over like a broken record? Are you just gonna feed me lines like everyone else? Because if you are, don't. I don't… I don't like being treated like that. It makes me feel… weak. Pathetic. Makes me feel like I'm some little girl who can't take care of herself. Someone who needs the support of others just to survive. And that… That's not me" Natsuki said as she shook her head.
"I know that's not you. That's why I'm not saying it" Aaron stated, looking Natsuki in the eyes, his face deadpanned. Went neutral. Serious, unnaturally so. Very out of character for him, Natsuki almost surprised to see Aaron react the way he did. It was almost as if, in that single second, she was looking at a different person. Did something suddenly happen to him? Did he change? Was his reaction bred out of annoyance for the gigantic tirade Natsuki was going on? Was this an indication that he looked down on Natsuki? Didn't care enough to show sympathy? Or was he just masking his reaction for her sake? Her stating before that she had a hatred for being coddled and comforted, comparing it to being pitied. "If you say you can handle it, I'll believe you. But, do you at least wanna talk about it?" Aaron asked, his tone changing from deadpanned serious to concerned and worried, starting to sound a little more like the Aaron Natsuki knew again.
"What good would that do?" She asked as she sulked, leaning all the way into the back of her chair as she crossed her arms again.
"It'll make you feel better, at least. It'll let you get a lot of your feelings and emotions off your chest. It's okay to do that, you know. It's okay to just… vent" Aaron stated, Natsuki sighing again as she contemplated his words. Thought long and hard about it.
"Fuck it. Fine" She said after a bit of thought, her arms uncrossing as she moved to pull down her hood, shaking her head slightly to spread her hair out, Aaron a little shocked to see her face. Saw her eyes all puffy and bloodshot, her cheeks slightly off color, moist. "Yeah… I've been crying" Natsuki admitted. "It's just… Things have been really bad for me tonight. Worse than they usually are" She added.
"Go ahead. Say whatever you wanna say. No holding back. No contemplating your words. Just… vent" Aaron encouraged, Natsuki breathing in before speaking, telling Aaron all about the days that followed after the festival. What happened at that restaurant in downtown. Her getting slammed into the coffee table. The fights she often had with her father, in which he often chastised her for her 'selfishness' and 'disrespect,' where he'd then go on to compare her life to those far more impoverished and worse off than her, saying that she should be more grateful for what she has. And of course, she talked about how as punishment, she was to be locked in her room and starved until she learned her lesson.
The entire time, Aaron just stood there, his face blank as Natsuki told him everything, talked for what felt like hours, Aaron doing nothing more than lightly shaking his head upon hearing certain parts. He tried his best to keep a neutral look on his face the entire time, knowing that the moment he started showing sympathy for Natsuki, she'd automatically assume Aaron was pitying her.
Regardless of whether he did or didn't, he knew that Natsuki would dislike him expressing his concerns for her, her mind somehow oblivious to the difference between sympathy and pity, Aaron knowing it'd be far better if he kept his opinions to himself.
"So, why does he do this? Is he an alcoholic or something?" He asked, wanting clarification, Natsuki scoffing at that.
"I wish" She responded. "At least then, I could just avoid him on the bad days. At least then, I'd be slightly better off. No, he just… hates me. And all because my mother decided to walk out on us! He blames me for it. Blames me for his ruined marriage. Yeah, like I had anything to do with it! It's not my fault he shouted and yelled for her to pack up and get the hell out!" She shouted. "It wasn't… It wasn't always like that though. Me and him… We used to get along amazingly. Like the best of friends. I was… I was daddy's little princess at one point! He used to worship the ground I walked on, but…"
"But then your mother left. And the reason she left was because…"
"Because I'm an accident. Because that… fucking bitch doesn't know what a goddamned abortion is! I wish she actually did though. Knowing this was my future, I'd gladly let her kill me before I was born!"
"Hey, hey… Don't say stuff like that" Aaron said calmly his hand motioning in front of him, urging Natsuki to calm down, her responding with a huff.
"Whatever. I mean it when I say it. So, what's your family like? Probably ten times better than mine, I bet" Natsuki speculated.
"Eh, not really" Aaron said with a sigh as he shook his head. "I haven't even met them. They've been nearly absent from my life ever since I was a baby. Sayori's family raised me. Not them" He explained, Natsuki looking up at him as she heard that, honestly surprised.
"Hmph. That's pretty rough, bro" She stated as their waitress finally came to the table, prepared to take their orders.
"Yeah, I'm actually here to pick up an order I called in. It's my friend that's eating" Aaron pointed. "Go ahead. Order whatever you want. It's on me" He said to Natsuki.
"Figured" She scoffed. "I told you my sob story, and now I get treated to a free dinner. God, Aaron… I told you I don't like being-"
"I'm not doing this because I feel bad for you" Aaron stated. "I'm doing it because I'm your friend, Natsuki. This is just what we do. Now please, order your food" He said, Natsuki sighing as she pulled out the menu, ordering a simple bowl of ramen, the waitress writing it down in her small notepad before leaving their table. She soon returned with Natsuki's food, placing it down in front of her, as well as delivering Aaron's in small to-go styled containers.
Natsuki immediately picked up her spoon after her food was brought, trying to eat as much as possible while still appearing calm and collected, as she was still in a public place, Aaron still sat at his chair as he watched Natsuki eat, seeing the desperation in her eyes. The hunger she must have felt… Aaron couldn't imagine. To think that the girl had been starved for over two whole days, all over some petty hatred.
He couldn't believe Natsuki lived like this. Couldn't even imagine her facing so much abuse from a single person for so long, all over such a stupid reason, Aaron figuring her father was just nothing more than a cruel person, looking for a reason to harm her.
Natsuki sighed in relief after finishing her food, laying back and relaxing into her chair, the gnawing hunger within her finally gone, the bowl being completely empty, literally not a drop of soup left within.
"Good?" Aaron asked, smiling softly.
"Very good" Natsuki said, smiling back, happy to have finally eaten. "Can I… Can I have some more?" She asked reluctantly, Aaron immediately nodding before calling the waitress back, ordering a second bowl of soup.
After this one came, Natsuki almost immediate gulped it down, eating at a much faster pace, regardless of whether people were staring, caring more about getting food in her system, rather than actually eating it and savoring its taste.
"More?" She asked again, Aaron sighing slightly as he called the waitress back again, her already on her way with another bowl, Natsuki not even using utensils this time, just picking up the hot bowl of soup and drinking it from the rim, greedily swallowing and gulping it down before putting it on top of the other bowls, all of them forming a small tower after being stacked atop one another.
"More?" Aaron assumed.
"N-No.. I think… I think I'm good. Thanks" Natsuki said, finally feeling full as she relaxed in her chair, Aaron chuckling at that as he called the waitress back for his check.
His brows jumped a little in worry after seeing the bill, it being more than what he had on him at the time, him initially expecting to pay only for his food.
"Excuse me, sir. Is there something wrong?" The waitress asked, a small glare on her face, as if already knowing Aaron would be unable to pay for the meal, Natsuki looking at him worriedly as she thought the same, feeling a small pang of guilt rise in her gut.
"Um… No. Nothing's wrong" Aaron stated nervously as he pulled out his wallet, pulling out a plastic, red credit card rather than cash.
This was an… emergency fund, if you will. Given to him by Sayori's mother, as she was the one who initially raised the boy. The card was to be used in only gravely serious emergencies, Aaron having never had a need for it before, due to his absent parents still sending him small packets of money every now and again, still though, out of a force of habit or expecting that one day, he'd need it, he kept the card around.
Well… If Aaron didn't offer to buy Natsuki dinner, she'd have most likely died of starvation, right? And dying is a pretty big thing. Definitely an emergency situation, Aaron sighing as he gave the card to the waitress. "Charge it" He said reluctantly, the woman's glare disappearing as she walked up to the counter with Aaron's card, charging the amount due before returning it, Aaron and Natsuki now standing up from their table, him grabbing the food he originally came for as the two finally left the restaurant.
"Hey, Aaron?" Natsuki called as she and him exited. "Thanks…" She said with a small smile as she looked up at him. "And… I'm sorry"
"Don't be. I wanted to do it, remember?" Aaron dismissed as they made their way down the sidewalk.
"Yeah. I know you did, but I still feel bad about it"
"Don't be. We're friends. And even more, we're club members. You know, We've got that whole 'We look after our own' kinda mentality" He stated, Natsuki chuckling slightly at that.
"Yeah. Yeah, I guess we do" She said with a smile. "Well, I should probably head back before he finds out, if he hasn't already. Thanks for the food though, really. I'll… I'll never forget what you did" Natsuki said as she turned around and walked in the opposite direction, parting from Aaron's company as she made her way home.
"Hey!" Aaron called before she could do so, however, her stopping dead in her tracks, turning around to look at him. "You uh… You don't have to go back there. If you want, you could come back and hang out at my place. Sayori's there too, so it won't be just us. And… if you're okay with it, I could fix you a spot on the couch and you could spend the night. I've got food. Lots of it. You can eat as much as you like" He suggested, Natsuki shaking her head at that, declining his offer.
"Thanks, but no thanks. I really should be getting back. You don't have to worry about me or anything, either. I can… I can handle my dad" She stated. "I'm… I'm a big girl. I can handle it. I'm a big girl" She added quietly, as if saying that to herself rather than Aaron, him sighing as he walked over to Natsuki.
"If you say so. Just…" He paused as he suddenly grabbed her by the hand, clutching it gently, Natsuki initially trying to pull away, muscle memory treating Aaron's action the same way it'd treat her father's, were he to do the same, only to then relax once she saw Aaron would not hurt her, their hands interlocked as he held them up in between their faces. "Remember that we're friends, okay? I'm here for you. Always. If you need anything, anything at all, be it food or just someone to talk to, you call me. Got it?" He asked, looking intently into Natsuki's eyes, her almost paralyzed by them.
"I… I got it" She said, nodding once, Aaron smiling as he let go of her hand, waving goodbye before turning around and walking back home, Natsuki standing still for a second as she watched him walk away, soon disappearing from her field of view, her now looking down at the hand Aaron clutched, only to see it holding a small piece of paper within her palm. No, a napkin. A napkin from the restaurant, Aaron's phone number quickly scrawled on it.
"He should have been back by now" Sayori stated anxiously as she paced around Aaron's living room, circling the coffee table over and over in worry as she awaited his return, the television already playing the long anime marathon the two had planned on watching, Aaron having missed most of it already, a majority of which were from many different series' he'd never seen before yet showed interest in, Sayori still pacing and circling the room, wondering what took him so long.
Being left to herself for such a long time, her mind naturally began to wander. Began idly thinking before speculating what was happening.
At first, she simply assumed he was waiting in line to retrieve the food he'd called ahead for. The small soup place he ordered from, though often seen as cheap, was still a rather popular stop for most of the neighborhood, it being very unlikely that Aaron would be the only customer ordering tonight, regardless of how late it was.
As the night grew longer and Sayori remained by herself, her mind started speculating about… other things. Wondering if Aaron got attacked or robbed on his way home. Was he kidnapped? Held for ransom? Killed?! Did he become the victim of some random criminal stalking the dark suburban streets?
No… obviously, Sayori shaking her head as she forced such irrational, worrying thoughts out of her mind, immediately rebuking such idiotic thoughts. Nothing more than an unexpected moment of fear and worry. Then her mind started wandering to… other things Aaron could have been doing. Had he… Had he ditched her? Left her to sit alone in his house while he went off and did something else? Stood with someone else? Spent the rest of his night with…
"I'm back!" She jumped slightly as she heard a voice, turning around to see Aaron coming in through the front door, returning home with a small to-go bag clutched tightly in hand, Sayori breathing a sigh of relief at his return, happy to know he was safe at least.
"About time. I was getting worried" She stated, her pacing finally ceasing as Aaron walked into the living room, taking a seat on the couch, relaxing and sinking into it as he looked at Sayori oddly, noticing that she hadn't moved to sit down with him, still stood up straight, her eyes looking down at the couch oddly, as if disgusted by it.
"You gonna sit down?" Aaron asked as he motioned for Sayori to join him, his hand patting the cushion by his side.
"H-Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry. I, um… I thought I saw something" Sayori said with a sigh as she moved to sit on the couch, at Aaron's side as he pulled their food out of the small to-go bag, handing Sayori hers before retrieving his own, Sayori slowly pulling back the plastic top that was placed over the soup, the steam of the hot broth rising up from the bowl, carrying with it a heavenly smell, Sayori's mouth watering slightly as she prepared to eat, taking a whole spoonful of the soup into her mouth before swallowing, feeling the hot liquid run down her throat.
She sighed in contentment, enjoying the soup greatly, it helping her relax and unwind as she sank into the couch, her mind distracted from her worries as she and Aaron watched the marathon together while eating their food.
She had been… reluctant to sit in the couch, as was no doubt seen. It wasn't that it was dirty or filthy in any sense. Well… it was, but not in the way you'd think so. It was… stained. Soiled. Tainted. Or at least she thought it was.
She… She had an awful dream a few days ago. More like a nightmare, honestly. An awful nightmare that haunted her long after it had passed, Sayori becoming unnerved by even the mention of it, her body beginning to quiver a little bit as she recalled the horrible night terror, it playing back in her mind so vividly, feeling almost as if it were real. And this couch that she sat in now, it was a crucial part of that nightmare, the scenes within that awful product of her mind taking place on this simple piece of furniture, hence why Sayori was rather unwilling to sit in it.
The nightmare was of Aaron… and Yuri… having sex… right on the couch Sayori was sitting on now, her shivering a little in disgust at just stating that, placing her food down on the coffee table, having now lost her appetite.
It… It was disgusting. So utterly revolting to Sayori's eyes, her forced to watch her two friends join together so… shamefully within her own mind! Them both naked before her! Stark nude! And so open and shameless about it, like it was every other night for them, the two outright going at each other like animals in heat! Sayori unable to do anything to prevent what she saw. Unable to do anything to stop them. Forced to watch silently and helplessly as they… pounded into each other so eagerly, making her retch as she recalled the loud scream Yuri made in that… horrible nightmare, her fluids or juices, whatever you wanted to call it, leaking all over the very same couch Sayori sat in now, the thought of it alone causing bile to rise within her throat, her hand expectantly covering her mouth.
"You alright?" Aaron asked in concern, his attention turning away from the television and onto Sayori, seeing the disgusted look on her face. "Look, I know it's not exactly a five star dinner, but the food's not that bad, is it? Besides, this is your favorite. Did I get the wrong kind?"
"N-No! It's fine! Great, actually! I'm just not feeling too well. That's all" Sayori stated, Aaron looking at her oddly again, knowing for a fact that she would never turn down a bowl of soup from one of her favorite places to eat, her practically stopping there all the time after school.
"You feeling sick?" He asked in concern.
"Y-Yeah. A little. Just a stomach ache or something like that. Something stupid, probably. I'll be okay" She claimed, an obvious lie that Aaron saw through, him sighing as he returned his attention to the television, not wishing to press Sayori on it. If she said she wasn't feeling well, Aaron would believe her, even though it was obvious that wasn't what was bothering her. "S-So, before I came here, you said you wanted to talk about something? What's up?" She asked.
"Yeah, um… What happened back there at the festival. I saw that it bothered you a little bit. Well actually, it bothered you a lot. You practically turned into a different person back there" Aaron stated, Sayori sighing as she heard that, being reminded of that time. "I don't know what it was about and if you don't wanna tell me, that's fine. But… Yuri. You're not mad at her, are you?" Aaron asked, looking at Sayori with concern, her sighing again as she turned her head away, looking off into the other side of the room, her hand held in the space between Aaron and her, as if telling him to stop.
"Are you only talking about this because she wants you to?" Sayori asked, a bitter tone in her voice as she glared slightly. "I-I know she was here, by the way. I can… I can smell her" She stated, Aaron taken aback slightly, honestly not expecting such an… odd statement.
"Smell her? The hell are you talking about?" He asked, his head swiveling and turning as he sniffed and smelled around the room, not picking up any distinct scents or fragrances, especially not anything related to Yuri. Was Sayori talking about the perfume she wore on the night of the festival? But that was long gone by now. Or was she talking about… something else? Aaron looking down at the couch he sat on, a worried look coming to his face. Had he… not washed the covers hard enough?
"Just… Answer the question!" Sayori requested, somewhat demanding and aggressively at that, her brief outburst of irritation causing Aaron to glare at her just as she glared at him, not liking her tone one bit.
"Yeah. She came over a few nights ago. Something wrong with that?" He asked, his tone mimicking the aggression Sayori threw at him, her expression softening a little once she saw that, her glare fading, replaced by a saddened frown, either because of being intimidated by Aaron or by realizing that she had allowed her temper to flair up.
"I… I'm sorry. No, there's nothing wrong with that. I just… I wanna know" She said with a sigh as she looked down at the floor, refusing to meet Aaron's eyes, him sighing as he did the same, now feeling a little guilty for his treatment of Sayori, thinking that he might have came off too strong in his response, most likely scaring her a little bit.
"Yeah. She came by a few nights ago" he repeated, his tone much softer. A little calmer. More collected… and a tad guilty. "She umm… wasn't feeling right. Wasn't feeling right at all. She came here for help, so I… helped her" he stated, vaguely branding his actions as 'help.' Not specifically stating how he helped her, thinking that Sayori didn't need to know. "After I… helped her-"
"Yeah. Helped…" Sayori interrupted, scoffing audibly.
"I'm sorry?"
"No. No, don't be. You want to call that 'helping?' Go ahead" Sayori said dismissively, somewhat passive-aggressively too.
"Right… Well, after I helped her, we talked for a little while about… stuff. And… I think we're in a relationship now. Like, proper boyfriend and girlfriend stuff" Aaron stated, a small smile coming to his face, only for it to then disappear once he saw the glare on Sayori's, her fists clenching tightly in anger, her trying to hide this by crossing her arms. "Does that… bother you?" Aaron asked, being sure to keep his tone calm, collected and quiet so as not to scare Sayori again.
"Should it?" She asked, refusing to look at him.
"I don't see why" Aaron responded. "You always used to tease me about not being able to talk to girls or having relationships. Even before we left for the festival, you teased me about getting girls to notice me. Well, one noticed. So, what's the problem here?" He asked.
"N-Nothing! Nothing's the problem whatsoever! It's just… something I never expected. I'll… I'll get used to it. If you're really sure this is serious, I'll get used to it and learn how to deal with it" Sayori stated, only for Aaron to sigh.
"Look, if it makes you uncomfortable or unhappy in any way, I'll call it off with Yuri right now" He stated, a surprised look coming to Sayori's face as she finally turned to look at him, honestly shocked to know that he'd be willing to destroy a relationship, just because she wasn't happy about it.
"You're serious?" She asked in shock, her jaw slack as he eyes grew wide, unable to actually believe that. "You're gonna break up a perfectly good relationship, just because I'm not used to it yet?"
"Well, you're like a sister to me, Sayori. I care about your comfort more than everyone else's. If it bothers you-"
"It doesn't" Sayori interrupted, turning her head away again, as if she couldn't bring herself to look at Aaron. "I'm… I'm not mad at you and I'm not mad at her. I'm just not feeling very good and it's messing with my head a little. Messing with the way I'm thinking and acting. I'm just in a bad mood. Look, if you two are in a relationship and you're happy with it, good for you. I'm really happy for you. It… It doesn't bother me. I'll just need a little while to get… used to it" She stated, sighing slightly as she turned her head around again, looking Aaron in the eyes. Dead serious.
"Sayori…"
"Besides, It'd be awful if you called it off with her. She'd be heartbroken, Aaron" Sayori continued. "I know she's… sensitive. If you break this up, you're gonna hurt her. You're gonna hurt her really badly. Don't do that because of me. Don't break her heart just because I'm a little shocked. Okay?"
"Alright" Aaron said, nodding once in determination. "I just want to make sure you both get along" He added, Sayori chucking lowly at that.
"Why wouldn't we? We're like sisters… It's just that, it'll be a pretty big change, you having a girlfriend. It's kinda hard to accept the fact that it's not going to be just you and me anymore. You've got someone else in your life now. I'll… I'll have to share you"
"H-Hey, it won't be like that!" Aaron stated, a small smile coming to his face as he put his arm around Sayori, pulling her closer to him in the same way an older brother would do to a younger sibling. "I'll still make time for you. We're best friends, Sayori. Yuri's not going to get between us. I won't let her" He said firmly, Sayori smiling a little at that, the words comforting her somewhat. She was doubtful of them, of course. But they brought her comfort nonetheless.
"Okay…" She said as she smiled at Aaron. "Now… let's forget about all this and just get back to watching TV" She said as the two looked towards the television, Sayori retrieving her food, it now slightly cooled as the two continued watching television, their eyes glued to the screen for what felt like hours, the both of them eventually falling asleep on the couch, Sayori laying on top of Aaron, her head resting on his shoulder as they slept through the rest of the marathon, Sayori waking up only a few hours later, realizing that they had both fallen asleep.
She yawned tiredly as she stood up from the couch, looking at the time on her phone, only to find out it was nearly four in the morning! Her feeling as if she should leave, having to get ready for school once the sun rose, and of course, thinking that parents must be worried about her.
Before she left the house though, she turned around to look at Aaron, seeing him sleeping soundly on the couch, his mouth hanging open as he laid on the couch, his head on the armrest, Sayori going upstairs, into his room to take a pillow and his blanket from his bed, bringing them down to Aaron so that he may sleep more comfortably, Sayori softly lifting up his head, placing the pillow below it before bringing it back down, careful not to wake Aaron. She then covered him in the blanket, even going the extra mile and tucking it into the couch, making sure Aaron was comfortable before she left.
"Good night…" She said to him, watching the way he slept, her face compelled to move closer to him, only to then place a small kiss on his cheek, her pulling back after that, her hand covering her lips, as if she were in shock, unable to believe she just kissed him! Pecked him softly on the cheek. "S-Sleep well…" She said before leaving, walking towards the front door on the tips of her toes, silently exiting his house.
She sighed in irritation as soon as she shut the door, standing on Aaron's front porch, her eyes shut tight as her brow furrowed, her teeth gritting in anger as she clenched her fists.
"Bitch!" She shouted into the air, spouting off an insult at the night sky above her, Yuri's face pictured in her mind as she cursed angrily. "It's…" She paused as she breathed in and out, her breath shaky, uneven. "It's not fair…" She said sadly as she hung her head low, her eyes looking down at her shoes as she walked back home, her hands hiding in her pockets. "It's just… it's not fair"