Chapter 53

Even with the memories back in his consciousness, Creek questioned what he knew to be real. Had Brocade really done that to him? The remembered pain had been so intense that there was no way he could have imagined it. But had he really poisoned Brocade with the information in his uncle's notebooks? Surely, he had and that was why he didn't look at them anymore. How could he have done that? How could Brocade do that to him?

Tears flowed steadily down Creek's face as he tried to work it out, completely unaware that he was speaking the entire process out loud. He was coherent enough to never say Branch's name as the Troll he was in love with, only alluding to him when absolutely necessary. Oblivious to his audience, he recalled it all: His crush on Brocade, Miss Frizz's warning, the wine, the pain, the crying, the disbelief, the fear, all voiced out loud for the first time, followed by Poppy caring for him, his fear that Brocade would target Stargazer next and everything he did leading up to Brocade's poisoning and everything after, including his own self-poisoning attempt. Throughout it all he questioned himself, trying to make sense of it, not sure if he could believe his own mind.

Only when Poppy sobbed and hugged him so tightly that it began to hurt, did Creek remember that there were Trolls and Smurfs around him. He looked up, feeling disconnected by all of them staring at him in such a horrified manner.

"Branch?" Creek's voice didn't sound like himself even to his own ears, lacking any sort of emotion, "Why are you gray again? Did something happen?"

Several times Branch's mouth opened and closed but no words came out. It was taking all of his effort to keep from crying along with Poppy.

"Poppy, love, you need to ease your grip, you're starting to hurt me," Creek turned to the princess, frowning at the sight of her gray. "You too, love?" He wiped at her face, no longer able to feel the tears running down his own cheeks. "Really, has Branch become contagious?"

Sobbing, Poppy eased back her hug to grip Creek's hands and kiss them, murmuring apologies against his fingers.

"Whatever are you apologizing for?" Creek couldn't connect the dots. Frankly, his mind just felt too exhausted to think right then.

"Creek," Branch managed to speak, slowly stepping forward. He reached forward to wipe at Creek's face.

Seeing his hand, Creek winced and pulled back as far as the chair would allow, staring at Branch with wide eyes.

Swallowing, Branch retracted his hand, "Creek, you…"

"I what?" Creek continued to stare.

"E-excuse me," Brainy pushed his way out of the mushroom.

Blinking, Creek watched him go, "What's wrong with Brainy?"

"I'm sure he just needs air," Hefty managed, "We'll be right back." He quickly followed Brainy out, without waiting for response.

Instead of being right outside, Hefty caught up with Brainy heading further into the village, "Where the Smurf do you think you're going?"

"To Papa," Brainy stammered, no longer able to keep in his tears.

"Why?" asked Hefty.

"There, there has to be something I can do," Brainy sniffled, "A spell or something. Maybe go back and stop it from happening."

"Oh Brain-man," Hefty sighed, "I'm sure if that was possible, Papa would have done that a long time ago."

"I need to do something," Brainy cried harder, wondering if it was possible for a Smurf to go gray.

Slowly, Hefty pulled Brainy into a hug and just held him, "Look, I know learning something like that about someone you care about is never easy to handle. But this isn't about you right now. This is about Creek and making sure he knows he's not alone, cared for and safe. Can you do that Brainy?"

Sniffling, Brainy nodded, pulling back to take off his glasses and wipe at his face. Chewing on his lower lip, he looked at Hefty worriedly, "Hefty, how do you know so much about this?"

Again, Hefty sighed, pausing to rub the back of his neck, "This isn't about me right now either." He raised his hand at the sight of Brainy about to protest, "Another day, I promise."

Worry filled Brainy further but he nodded, Hefty was never one to break a promise. He followed Hefty back to the Recovery Mushroom.

When they returned to the others, Therapist Smurf had just made his way over to Creek, "Creek, I think it would be a good idea if you and I talked."

"No," Poppy sobbed, pulling Creek into another hug and holding him tightly.

"Really Poppy," Creek made no attempt to pull back from her, "There is no harm in talking with him; besides I have something to discuss that I rather you not know."

This only made Poppy cry harder and Branch begin to cry as well, no longer able to keep them at bay.

"Did somebody die or am I missing something?" Creek looked at them all confusedly, his own tears done for the moment.

"Creek," Branch attempted again but stopped when Therapist shook his head.

"I think it would be better if Creek and I discussed it alone," said Therapist Smurf.

"I don't want to be alone with you," commented Creek, "No offense but I don't know you or understand what you do."

Nodding, Therapist didn't seem offended, "It's whatever you're comfortable with, Creek. Would you like someone in the room with you?"

Poppy held into Creek tighter.

"Not you, love," Creek reached up as if to tap her nose but didn't quite make it and didn't seem to notice that he hadn't either. "Boop; I don't want you to know, remember?"

"Do you want me to go with you?" asked Branch.

Looking up, Creek glanced Branch over and shook his head, "No, I don't want you to hate me either."

"I don't hate you Creek," said Branch softly.

"I'd like to keep it that way," reaffirmed Creek. "I don't know what I'd do if you hated me, Branch. I don't think I could handle it."

More tears gathered in Branch's eyes but he remained silent.

Looking at the others, Creek's gaze landed on Brainy briefly but then turned to Hefty, "How about you? Our relationship is rocky at best; this wouldn't harm anything."

"Whatever you say Creek," Hefty nodded.

"Would you like to stay here or go to my office?" Therapist Smurf asked.

"Your office," Creek stood, dragging Poppy with him. "I've spent enough time in this Mushroom, I think." He pried Poppy off of him and handed her over to Smurfette, "Use some of that Smurf charm to cheer her up, will you? An unhappy Poppy has to be the most distressing thing I've ever seen, even if you ignore the gray."

Smurfette nodded quietly, doing her best to hold back her own tears as she held Poppy tightly against her.

Reaching up, Creek patted the top of Poppy's head, "See you shortly, love." He moved to follow Therapist Smurf out but paused, "Brainy?"

"Y-yeah?" Brainy looked up at him.

"I know I said earlier that there was a possibility," Creek started, unsure of how to properly explain it, "But I was wrong."

"Creek," Brainy tried to reach out to touch Creek's hand but stopped when Creek winced away from him.

"Don't waste your energy any further," said Creek, "I'm not worth it." He rushed out without waiting for an answer.

Therapist Smurf patted Brainy's shoulder, "Give it time," and followed Creek out.

Confused, Hefty looked at Brainy and out at Creek, but didn't have time to figure out all that he had missed. He quickly turned to Brainy and gave his hand a squeeze, "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Branch nodded but was unable to say anything, squeezing Hefty's hand back before watching him leave after Therapist Smurf and Creek.

The sound of Poppy crying was the only noise in the Recovery Mushroom for what felt like hours.

"I'll kill him," said Branch slowly, still trying to wrap his mind around it, "I'm going to kill him."

"Brocade is already dead," Poppy managed to sniffle.

"I don't care!" Branch shouted, "I'll dig him up and kill him again! How could he- How could he do that to Creek?! They were friends, they were always flirting; Brocade didn't have to- I'm going to kill him!"

Pulling back from Smurfette, Poppy wrapped her arms around Branch and just held him.

Holding her back, Branch let out a shaky sob, "How could he?"

"I don't know," Poppy sniffed again.

Stepping closer, Smurfette gently rubbed over Poppy's back.

Reaching back, Poppy pulled Smurfette in to join the hug.

Branch looked up, turned to Brainy. Silently he offered his hand for him to join too.

Crying again, Brainy joined the hug.

Creek ignored all the Smurfs staring as they walked through the village. Really, he would have thought Branch's numerous color changes would have them used to the complexity of Troll colors but maybe that was too much to hope for. Once in the office he listened to Therapist Smurf telling him to lay down but apparently, he put his feet where his head was supposed to go and decided to sit up instead.

Pulling over another chair, Hefty flipped it to straddle the chair and sat next to Creek, "I'm going to stay quiet until one of you speak to me but I'm here if you need me, okay Creek?"

"Okay," said Creek, still unsure of how this worked. It was a little better having someone he knew went through this with him but he had so many questions. He glanced at Therapist and turned to Hefty, "Does Therapist Smurf know?"

Nodding, Hefty explained, "So does Papa and Branch."

"Branch knows?" asked Creek.

"Branch knows," Hefty confirmed.

"And he's okay with it?" asked Creek.

"Okay isn't really how I would put it," said Hefty, rubbing over his face. "He hates that it happened, of course, but he still loves me; that's the important part."

Staying silent, Creek looked Hefty over and noticed his hickey for the hundredth time, only half as much as he noted the hickeys on Branch's neck. He half wondered if they were mates yet but found that he really didn't want to ask.

Taking the silence as opportunity, Therapist Smurf explained the basics of therapy, the office being a safe place and that anything Creek shared would be kept in confidence.

"So, I can tell you anything and you can't tell anyone else?" asked Creek.

"For the most part," Therapist nodded, "I would voice my concerns, however, if I thought you were a genuine threat to yourself or others."

Creek looked vaguely amused by that but didn't comment.

"Creek, there's something you should know," said Hefty.

"I think its best we wait until the end of the session to discuss that," said Therapist.

"No," Creek shook his head, "If there's something I should know, I shouldn't have to wait to know what it is." He turned to Hefty, "What is it?"

Hefty glanced over Therapist Smurf, who sighed but nodded, so Hefty spoke, "Back at the Recovery Mushroom, you were sort of thinking out loud after your memories came back."

"What do you mean?" asked Creek.

"You, you told us what happened, as you were trying to put things together," said Hefty softly, watching Creek's face.

At first Creek's expression didn't change, "Everything?"

"I think so," nodded Hefty.

"Does Branch know about my feelings for him?" asked Creek.

"No," Hefty shook his head, "You talked about a Troll you had feelings for but never by name."

"That's one small favor then," murmured Creek, thinking it over, "Poppy was crying because of me, wasn't she? She went gray, because of me."

"Creek," Hefty started but didn't know what to say, just hating how numb Creek was acting. How matter-of-fact he was taking it.

"Your friend is a very caring Troll," Therapist Smurf commented. "I'm sure she hates knowing that you went through such pain and she couldn't help you at the time. Most people have very protective instincts kick in after hearing about such events-"

"Such events," Creek repeated, "That's a mundane way of putting it. How was it that you described it, Hefty? Sexually assaulted? Now that's a phrase that garners attention."

"Creek," Therapist Smurf started.

"I didn't want her to know," Creek cut him off again. "She doesn't deserve this."

"It's not about deserving," Hefty tried. "And you shouldn't have to deal with this alone."

"Easy for you to say," Creek turned to him. "You've told your Father and, whatever Therapist Smurf is, about what happened to you but none of the other Smurfs. Your Father who would protect you and Therapist who has to keep your secret. You risked absolutely nothing telling them. Sure, there was a risk in telling Branch but he was already in love with you when you did, I'm sure. Again, someone who was almost guaranteed to protect you and keep your secret. Your biggest risk was telling me. Why? Did you want to talk to someone who went through the same thing that badly?"

"That's not what I told you for," Hefty protested. "I wanted you to know that you weren't alone in this, remember? I told you, you wouldn't be alone. That you'd still have people who cared about you-"

"And it doesn't change who I am or make me anything less," Creek repeated. "I don't know your circumstances but I did change. I am less. I'm worse than less."

"No, you're not," Hefty stood from his chair, staring Creek down.

"Hefty," Therapist Smurf tried to interject.

"I killed Brocade," stated Creek.

"Good riddance to him," shouted Hefty.

"Hefty, that's enough," Therapist Smurf tried again.

"He abused your trust and hurt you in the worse way imaginable," Hefty ignored him.

"I abused Brocade's trust," said Creek, "I invited him to breakfast, flirted with him and poisoned him with his tea. I'm no better."

"It's hardly the same thing," protested Hefty, "You were scared and protecting yourself and possibly others."

"How noble," Creek mumbled, "It's still murder."

"It was self-defense," said Hefty.

"Hefty, you are not helping," said Therapist Smurf. "I think you should leave."

"I'm fine with that," said Creek, standing.

"Creek, you should stay," said Therapist Smurf.

"No," said Creek, "I've fulfilled my obligation as far as I'm concerned; nothing is to be gained by talking to you further."

"Creek, one conversation is hardly a cure all-" Therapist Smurf tried to reason.

"I don't expect a cure-all," said Creek. "I don't expect to ever feel anything other than what caused me to suppress my memories to begin with. I expect to die for my crimes."

"Poppy wouldn't," Hefty began.

"Normally Poppy wouldn't, I'm sure, but who knows about gray Poppy? Or King Peppy after he's learned what I've done and that I made his daughter go gray," said Creek. "I'm the first Troll known to kill my fellow Troll, an example must be made I'm sure."

"Come on, let's go to Poppy, you'll see that she doesn't think that," said Hefty.

"Very well," Creek nodded and turned to Therapist Smurf speaking, "I hope to never see you again," before walking out of the office.

Hefty quickly followed, walking beside Creek, "Look, that wasn't the best first session but you need to keep trying."

"There's no point Hefty," said Creek.

"Poppy isn't going to let you get executed or whatever you think is going to happen," said Hefty, "You're going to have to learn to live with the memories-"

"Like you live with it?" asked Creek, "Hiding behind those who won't judge you? I don't have that luxury. I just spilled the worst parts of myself to the Troll I've been in love with almost my whole life and barely managed to be friends with. To the best, most caring Troll that I've ever known only to turn her gray. To Smurfette who I don't know the first thing about other than Poppy loves her. And, and to Brainy who was naïve enough to think I was worth something. Well, he won't be wasting his time on me anymore at least."

Unable to think of a thing to say, Hefty walked with Creek the rest of the way back to the Recovery Mushroom in silence.

The moment Creek came back into the mushroom, Poppy leapt up from her seat at the table where they had all gathered to wait and rushed towards him. She only stopped from tackling him in a hug when he braced himself rather than open his arms like he normally would, "Creek?"

Opening his eyes again, Creek looked at her before going to his knees and bowing his head to her.

"Creek, what are you doing?" asked Poppy.

"Awaiting your judgment on my crimes," said Creek, not looking at her. "I just hope, that maybe, you'll forgive me for what I've put you through Princess Poppy."

Staring at him, Poppy straightened and waved her hand over him, "Royal pardon."

Creek looked up at her in surprise.

"And I should be the one asking forgiveness from you," said Poppy, kneeling down in front of him. "I never should have let you suppress your memories. I was so concerned with wanting you to be happy I never stopped to think what made you so unhappy to begin with."

"But I killed someone," said Creek, staring at her.

Poppy waved her hand in front of him so he could see, "Royal Pardon."

"But-" Creek tried again.

"Royal Pardon," Poppy repeated.

"Poppy," Creek murmured in disbelief, eyes watering.

Walking over, Branch kneeled down next to Poppy to face Creek as well, "We're still your friends Creek. What happened; it doesn't change anything."

"We haven't been friends for long," murmured Creek.

"As adults maybe, but we were close as kids," commented Branch. "And we've always been a part of each other's lives. Quite frankly, even when we were at our worse, if I had known what Brocade did, I would have killed him for hurting you."

"He's been threatening to dig him up and kill him again for good measure since you left," commented Poppy.

Creek's lips twitched slightly, his eyes watering further, "I don't think you're capable of murder, Branch."

"Fine, then I would have done it," said Poppy.

"Poppy, you're the last Troll capable of murder," stated Branch.

"No, I can see her doing it," said Creek.

"Ha," taunted Poppy, a bit of color returning to her skin.

Creek smiled a little.

Seeing this, Branch tried to keep it going, "Hold on, how is Poppy capable of murder and not me?"

"Because you're all bark and no bite," teased Poppy, then laughed, her color getting a little brighter. "Get it? Bark? Branch?"

"Ha, you're hilarious," Branch rolled his eyes. "Maybe I should practice my murder technique on you? I'm pretty sure I could tickle you to death."

Poppy over dramatically gasped, "You wouldn't dare!"

Looking up, Branch's eyes met Creek's and smiled.

Slowly, Creek smiled a little more.

Paranoid, Poppy looked between them, "You two better not be thinking what I think you're thinking."

Without another word the two male Trolls dove in and started to tickle Poppy from both sides.

"Ah, evil," Poppy laughed, squirming, "You're both evil!" She laughed, trying to bat their hands away, her color fully returning, "I shall have my revenge!"

Pulling back, Creek stopped tickling Poppy, chuckling softly as he started to cry.

Immediately Branch stopped tickling Poppy and Poppy launched forward to hug Creek close, nuzzling him gently.

"We are here for you," Poppy promised, pausing to kiss his cheek, "Whatever you need, we'll do whatever we can to help you."

Cautiously Branch moved closer and waited for Creek to look up. He silently opened his arms, offering a hug.

Staying in Poppy's hold, Creek gave a small nod.

Moving in closer, Branch hugged Creek's other side, mirroring Poppy in giving Creek a gentle nuzzle.

Sniffling, Creek didn't quite hug them back, holding onto the arms around him. He never thought anyone would accept him if they knew the truth, let alone still care about him.

Maybe Hefty knew what he was talking about after all.