Chapter 27
It's been a week since Rose's first birthday. Natalie and I kept in touch via a small phone I managed to get for her. I didn't tell Tris anything, because I don't want her to get her hopes up or worry about her mom when she tries to find out more about Andrew's abrupt behavioral change. It was actually Natalie's idea to keep this between the two of us. Normally, I wouldn't keep secrets from my wife, but I agree with Natalie's logic. Not to mention, this is another way for her and me to bond.
Over the months since she became a part of our family, Natalie treated me more and more like her own son, and would often comfort me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. I know that Tris would be happy to hold me, but there are times when I need a mother more. And Natalie has become something like that. I haven't called her mom yet, despite it almost slipping a few times. She certainly doesn't mind if I did. During one of the car rides to Abnegation, she told me she was Divergent. It came out of nowhere. I didn't know what to say. Before, being Divergent meant a death sentence, but today people know more about it, and aren't as afraid of it as they used to be. She told me that both her husband and son aren't Divergent, but she had a suspicion Tris was. Until she takes her aptitude test, though, we wouldn't know for sure. Hearing her speak so freely to me, prompted me to confess about my own divergence. Tris already knows, but it isn't really something we speak much off. It is mainly because both of us don't really know much, just the basics. And with it not being a danger anymore, it was just filed under the "research later" pile.
Today, the girls invited us guys to see what they've been up to. I'm actually glad, since I never found the right time to ask Tris about this. Plus, I didn't want her to know the guys and I overheard their conversation.
Natalie is watching Rose, which isn't so much of a task for her but a pleasure. Both grandmother and granddaughter light up when they see each other, and I can tell being able to spoil my daughter is a soothing balm for Natalie. She often speaks of how unfairly Abnegation teachings are towards children and family dynamic in general. I couldn't agree more. Here in Dauntless, no one cares about how much you spoil your kid. Obviously, Tris and I do our best to not overdo it, but it's hard. We want Rose to have everything we didn't, which is more or less literally everything.
"Hey, Four," I hear Max's voice from behind me. I turn around and find him together with George, Harrison and Amar come closer.
"Hey guys. What you up to?" I ask. They are clearly heading toward the training room, but I'm curious as to why.
"What do you think?" George asks.
"We wanna see your wifey kick ass," Amar answers for me. I chuckle. I guess, the girls really meant it when they said they would show us guys how to fight. I shake a little my head, and the five of us head toward the training room. At the entrance I find Jason, Zeke and Uriah.
"Why are you outside?" Max asks confused.
"Max, hi. Didn't know you guys were coming," Zeke says a little nervous, looking toward my fellow leaders.
"Relax, boy. We're here for the fun. I wanna see what the ladies think they have that we don't," Harrison says a little smugly. I know that he doesn't mean it in a negative way. He respects women, and encourages them to be able to stand their own ground, protect themselves against anyone, and kick some serious ass.
"You might wanna reconsider your attitude," Uriah says, and looks around, his face pale. Now I'm getting worried. I take a step closer, but Zeke stops me. I look at him, my eyes narrowed, my eyebrows furrowed, my fists clenched. What's going on with them?
"Might explain, Pedrad junior?" Amar asks amused. Uriah scowls.
"I hate that you call me that," he complains, and Amar laughs, but Jason shushes him.
"Will someone tell us what the hell is going on?" Harrison demands.
"The girls. They are really good. They weren't kidding when they said Tris had some killer moves in her repertoire. Dude, your wife is like a ninja. And I don't mean it as a joke. I mean like those movies we watch sometimes during our guys night."
"Come on. She can't be that good. It's not like Lauren would teach her everything we do during initiation," Amar says dismissively.
"Didn't you hear what he said?" Zeke asks a little angry. I am surprised to see him this way. Both Pedrad brothers are easygoing, and nothing seems to scare them, even when it should. "There's nothing even remotely like initiation going on. I don't know where Tris learned all that, but Lauren might be right when she says Tris could beat you," he says looking straight at me.
"Come on," Max, Harrison, and Amar say at the same time.
"It's true," Jason nods eagerly. "I've never seen anyone being so disciplined. Right now, she teaches the girls something. It's like she is their instructor, not the other way around."
This I gotta see. I push past my friends, and crack the door open just a little further. We all find a position to peek inside, and watch the girls. In the middle of the room are two large gymnastics bars. We rarely use them, but we have them. On top of one stands none other than Tris. She is barefoot, and stands there as if it is solid ground. She tells Lynn, Marlene, and Shauna to jump up, and join her. The girls do, and with an incredible agility. I didn't think that was even humanly possible. I can't really hear what they are saying, but by the looks of it Tris is explaining something. Then, she lets her body fall backwards, and I almost burst through the door, when her body stops mid-fall. Tris is "lying" perfectly horizontal mid-air, as if it is the easiest thing in the world.
"Fuck! How the hell did you do that?" I hear Shauna shout excitedly. I can see Tris laughing, and then pulling herself up again, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. How the hell did she do that? I pull back, and almost fall over because everyone was so tightly pressed together.
It takes us a moment to all step back from the door a little, and stare at each other. They ask me if I knew Tris could do that, and I am unable to form words, so I shake my head.
"I think I know how," George suddenly says.
"Then enlighten us, babe," Amar teases him. George rolls his eyes, and tells us about Zen. Max almost tells him to cut the crap with all that esoteric nonsense, when the younger leader glares at him.
"Listen, it makes perfect sense. I've seen Tori do it. And the other day I overheard Tris ask Marlene to watch your kid while she meditated," George explains.
"What does that have to do with anything?" Harrison asks, his voice betraying his skepticism.
"I didn't give the whole Yoga and Tai Chi thing much thought, thinking the girls did it to get in shape, and it was an easy, secure way for Tris to lose the baby weight." I nod my head. "But both practices are meditation forms. Seasoned practitioners are capable to detach themselves from their everyday problems through deep meditation. I never did that, but Tori did. She told me when you reach a deep enough level of meditation, time seizes to exist."
"Come on, man. That sounds like magic," Max says dismissively.
"It's very real," Tris's voice sounds from behind us. I didn't even hear her come out. As we turn to look at her, we find all girls watching us.
"How did you do that?" I ask, not even trying to mask my confusion, surprise, and a little bit of anger. Because, yes, I am angry she didn't tell me until now. Tris narrows her eyes at me. She can read me like a book, and while usually it's comforting, because it means she knows to leave me be when I have a bad day, it is also annoying when I want answers from her.
"Why don't you guys come in, and let us explain?" she asks, but it is an actual order. I look after her as she makes her way back into the training room, expecting us to follow.
"Your wife is kinda bossy," Amar says, with an raised eyebrow. You don't know the half of it, I think. I watch as all my friends enter the training room until only Harrison and I are left.
"It's amazing how a small girl like her, can exude so much authority," he says, and I look at him. His face betrays the level of admiration he has for Tris. He pats my shoulder, and tells me to come and hear what the girls have to tell us.
I sigh in defeat, and hang my head. I enter the training room, and walk toward the center where everyone gathered. Right in the middle stands Tris. She extends her arm, looking straight at me, and without a second thought, I go to hold her hand.
She tells us all to sit down. I want to question her why we are in the center, and she shushes me. Sometimes I feel like she uses parenting techniques on me too.
"I want to tell you the story, and the rest can just listen," she tells me with a smile. I nod, and she takes a breath. "I didn't lie to you. The girls and I started doing Tai Chi and Yoga. Tori taught us, and I found it extremely effective. Not only did it slowly, but steadily tone my body, and got me into better physical shape than I was even before I got pregnant, but it also helped me with the post-partum stress. At first, we did the sessions together, mainly because I didn't know the positions, and had no routine. As I got better, I started using Yoga first to relax myself, and then went into meditation. But as the meditation became deeper, I knew I needed someone to watch Rose. I would ask one of the girls to stay in the apartment while I went under," she says, and by the face I must have made, she chuckles. "What George told you outside is true. When you meditate you lose track of time. The longest I ever went into meditation was four hours. I asked Mar to watch Rose, while I meditated. I only know it was four hours, because I checked the time before and after the session. During, I had no sense of where I was or how much time had passed. The reason why I or anyone else goes into a deep state of mediation is to find yourself, to find a balance, to find your inner peace. You often told me I stressed out too much, and you were right."
"But how did you do that thing, where you don't fall?" Uriah asks, unable to contain his curiosity any longer. Tris rolls her eyes a little, and continues.
"It is linked to what I'm saying. When you meditate often enough you find an inner balance that you can use to your advantage. When you do something difficult, something that hurts your body, you mentally wish for it to be over, even if you don't say it out loud," she continues, and I nod. I realize, she is talking to everyone, but she holds my gaze, and I'm thankful for that. "You once told me that you choose to ignore your fears, in order to live your life," she says, and I nod. I did tell her that. I told her about my fear landscape, but didn't go into many details. She'll find out soon enough.
"I still don't get it," Uriah interjects.
"Shut it, Uri!" Lynn scolds.
"You can't tell me to," he protests, but then someone slaps him. I didn't see who, but it doesn't matter.
"You can't really make the pain go away, but you can ignore it. I can't really explain other than I concentrate the same way I do when I meditate. I forget and ignore the world around me, and then I can do impossible things," she says smirking. She rolls her eyes a little, and laughs. "Well, not impossible. But they become easier. Don't think it happened over night. It was a long, tedious journey. The reason for using these skills is simple. Once you are the master of your own body and mind, you can accomplish more than if you just push your body. A fight without strategy is doomed to fail. No matter how primitive, simple or short a fight is, without a bit of strategy even the best fighter is doomed to fail. Why do you teach your initiates basic hand-to-hand? To prepare them. All preparedness is in vain if they don't learn to anticipate their opponent's moves. Let me demonstrate," she says, standing up. I look up at her, and realize she wants me to fight her. I jump up, and glare at her.
"No!" I say sternly.
"Fine. Zeke?" she asks, and looks at my best friend. I turn my head toward him, giving him a death glare, and he declines. "Wuss!" Tris says loudly.
"I'll fight you," Max says. As much as I glare at him, he is unfazed. He is a leader just like me, so he doesn't fear any repercussions.
"Thank you, Max. Now, Four. I love you, so I need you to step away, unless you want to get hurt," she says nonchalantly. I glare at her, hoping she will stop with this nonsense. She is even more unfazed than my co-leader was. I sigh in frustration, and walk backwards sitting in Max's abandoned spot, between Jason and Harrison.
Max and Tris walk a little further away from the group to have enough space to spar. I know Max would never intentionally hurt Tris, but a lot of things can go wrong even during a sparring session.
Both of them take fighting stances. I watch as Max launches toward her, and hits her square in the jaw. So much for being able to fight. They continue circling each other, and Tris steps forward, while punching at the same time. She misses. Max easily blocks her. Max attacks again, hitting her in the stomach. Tris stumbles backwards a little, and Harrison has to pull me back when I want to stop the fight.
"Four, you have to let her do this. In a few months from now this will be her life. If she can't pass initiation she'll be made factionless. You know Max loves her like a daughter. He'd never hurt her." Harrison makes sense, but the protective side in me screams for me to lift my lazy ass, and protect the woman I love.
I watch as Max gets a few more punches in, before he takes a glance toward us. In that moment, Tris jumps up from where she was crouching after the last hit, holds Max around his neck as if she would try to kiss him, pulls herself closer to his body, but unlike when she does it with me where our bodies would be flush against each other, she jumps a little, buries her right knee in his chest, swings her left leg around his neck, lets herself fall backwards toward the ground, but doesn't fall. The leg around Max's neck not only chokes him, but prevents her from falling down. She punches Max in the back, making him stumble slightly, while holding her hands out flat facing the ground. She pulls a little harder, and Max loses his footing. The next move happens so fast, I almost don't see it.
Almost.
Tris's hands touch the ground below her, and with all her strength pulls Max with her, but unlike what I expect to happen, namely him falling over her, crushing her, he moves with her body, as if they were a giant wheel made of limbs and bones, and muscle and flesh, until Max lays face down gasping for air.
I am absolutely speechless. How the hell did someone as small as Tris, with no real combat training, manage to defeat a grown man who is tough as nails, a great fighter, and twice her size?
The girls erupt in cheers for her friend, while every guy in the room stares at the pathetic sack of human that is Max. Tris crouches down to check on Max, before standing up, and coming our way. She has a smug grin plastered on her face. She is very proud of herself. And she should be. Lauren was right. Tris could take me in a fight. She is fast, bendy, and sneaky. I only now realize that she tricked Max into thinking she is weak. She masked her true strength until it was too late for him to see. I stand up from my spot, and take two huge steps toward her. She must think I am mad by the worried look she now has on her beautiful face. Oh, babe. I am not mad. I am so turned on right now. My woman is a badass! She'll pass initiation with flying colors. I have no doubt about that.
I pull her into my arms, and without any warning, any word, without anything else, I crash my lips over hers. The kiss is passionate and lust-filled, and all I can think of right now, I need this woman. The kiss ends too soon, when she pushes me slightly away. We both take deep breaths, panting as if we ran a marathon, and gazing into the other's eyes.
"I love you," I tell her. She smiles at me, and pecks my lips quickly.
"I love you, too."
"Screw Dauntless initiation!" Uriah suddenly shouts. We look at him, wondering what this is all about. "Tris, you gotta teach me that!" We all start laughing, but he looks dead serious.
"Alright. I will."