A/N: I want to thank everyone who takes the time to read this story, vote, share and comment on it. Thank you so much for the continued support.

And, of course, a special thanks to my beta, It'sHardIKnow. Thank you so much!

Happy reading!

Chapter 30

Tris

It is the night before my Choosing Ceremony. Everything is prepared for tomorrow, yet I am still nervous. I know that I will choose Dauntless, for sure, not just because of Tobias and Rose, but also because I've always belonged here. I know that now. The way I never fitted into Abnegation made me realize how staying there would be totally absurd.

The aptitude test I took today revealed I am Divergent, just like Tobias. Only, unlike him, I have an aptitude for three factions. That's the highest number ever. It came with no surprise that I had anaptitude for Dauntless, and I figured Abnegation couldn't have been far behind. I was raised in Abnegation after all, and some things you just can't unlearn. They become a part of you. The shock was when I learnt that I had also an aptitude for Erudite. Tobias wasn't surprised, though. He always tells me I'm smart, but I figured, he only meant because I look at things differently than he does. It's not like he isn't just as smart.

It was decided that Max and Jack would travel ahead to the Hub to ensure that Marcus won't interfere with the Choosing process as an attempt to avoid, or, worse, even ruin my choosing. I had to basically threaten Tobias to not come with me tomorrow and it was only after I pleaded with him to stay with our daughter that he gave in. He knows I would worry too much if he was to leave her - even with Shauna. I need to know that my baby is safe, and the safest she can be is when she is with her daddy. However, he made it a point to tell me that Zeke would be attached to my hip, so to speak, making sure that I was protected at all times. A part of me found his worry adorable whilst a larger one found it annoying. He knows what I can do, how I can take care of myself, and, yet, he still doesn't trust me enough to let me go alone. But, as he so astutely pointed out, he'd feel better knowing someone had my back, just like I wanted him to stay in Dauntless taking care of Rose. I bit my tongue to avoid pointing out that the difference was that I am a grown-ass woman, and Rose is a toddler, but I kept my mouth shut.

Mom promised to make sure Dad was there. He usually went to all Choosing Ceremonies, but we figured that, maybe, he would avoid this year's one because he was afraid to face me. Either way, she promised to drag him there if she had to.

My biggest worry is Rose, though. We took her to the daycare center for several days already trying to help her get used to the environment and the kids. She seems fine, but after her afternoon nap, she usually gets cranky when I'm not there. This will be a problem, since, not only will training happen in the mornings, it would run in the afternoons as well. Tobias first wanted to take time off while I go through initiation, but Karen was right to point out that Rose needs to learn social skills, which only comes when put in a situation where she needed to get along with others. I could tell Tobias was more reluctant than I was, but that's only because he is a sucker when it comes to our girl. Eventually, he understood it was something we needed to do for Rose, even if she didn't like it at first. Thankfully, at least in the mornings, she is very happy to meet up with Dylan and a few other kids. Another problem concerning her is bedtime. She's used to us tucking her in together, so now she is always sad, and it always takes a long while before she is able to fall asleep if one of us, usually Tobias, isn't around. I figured that I'd hurry home every night, or, at least, most nights, to be there when she goes to bed. This way she'll at least fall asleep content.

Tobias gathers me into his arms, as he slips into our bed. He presses his chest to my back, and nuzzles my neck, kissing the side under my ear where he knows I'm ticklish.

"Babe," I whine, and he chuckles.

"I'm gonna miss doing this," he says, kissing me softly on the exposed skin of my shoulder.

"Don't be so dramatic. I'll be in the compound, and we already agreed that, for the days I'll have off from training, I'll come home," I mumble dismissively, but I know what he means. However, I don't want to add to the already shitty feeling of loss. It frustrates me, and I know it frustrates him too.

"Still. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep without you in my arms," he whines a little, and I can imagine the pout on his face. I had always suspected that Rose got that from him because I definitely don't pout. I turn around in his arms, and look deep into his eyes. I smile softly, before leaning in and kissing his plump lips.

"It's just for ten weeks. Once I'm a member, we'll never have to sleep in separate beds ever again," I reassure him. Or, perhaps, I reassure myself. Either way, it doesn't stop the ache in my chest knowing that the next weeks will be torturous.

"I might sneak into the dorm room, and snuggle with you," he whispers, playful.

"You will do no such thing," I scold. He gives me a curious look, an eyebrow raised, his mouth slightly open.

"First of all, you can't just leave Rose all by herself. Second of all, all attention will already be on me because I am a leader's wife. Don't you think that's enough pressure on me?" I ask, voicing for the first time what I've been dreading. I know it's irrational, especially since Dauntless already knows what I'm capable of. Most Dauntless members have already seen me fight, and even commented that I could take the legendary Four down. I have to admit, that boosted my ego big time, not that I ever would admit to that out loud.

"Geez, calm down. I won't come down there to embarrass you," he scoffs, a little hurt. I smack him over the arm.

"You are not embarrassing me, but I just don't want people to gossip about me even more," I blurt out. He looks at me seriously, and I shrink away a little.

"Tris?" he asks. I turn around, unwilling to look him in the eyes. I shouldn't care what others think, but, apparently, I do. "What's happened?" he prods, always quick to catch on, "and don't say nothing". His tone is firm, but I can tell he is worried.

"I overheard a few members, no big fans of either you or I, talking about how I will probably rank high just because I am your wife." He sits up abruptly, and I stare at him, as he jumps out of bed. He paces at the foot of our bed, grumbling to himself.

"Tobias?" I call out a moment later, my voice smaller than I intended it to be. He looks at me, and his expression softens.

"Listen to me. You are strong, brave, and don't need anyone to tell you that you are anything other than Dauntless. I have no doubt that you will rank high, but only because I believe in you. I suspected that some people would start making a fuss over this soon. I heard Eric started instigating people to worry about your ranking. He hates me so therefore he hates you by default. I was the Stiff who outranked him and the guy who was chosen to be a leader instead of him - not that anyone would have offered him the position in the first place. He is a prick, and only seeks to cause trouble."

"Still, people talk, and it's their right to have an opinion," I argue. I don't even know why. It repulses me that they gossip about me. Tobias looks at me, furious that I even uttered nonsense like that.

"Listen to me, Tris. You have absolutely no advantage over anyone else. You will be just like any other initiate. I've already had this conversation with the other leaders. Other than Max, who's never had kids, all of them have had, at some point, someone going through initiation, and had to deal with gossipy pricks. Max offered a solution to all of this. During Phase 1, everyone, and I mean literally everyone, is allowed to enter the training room to watch the initiates. We will even encourage that during your fights – either the practice ones or the ones to determine your rankings. Dauntless already knows how good you are, so don't worry. During Phase 2, the members will see your times as you go through your fear simulations, but not the actual fear; those are private. Leadership will watch closely so that no one can argue with the results. I even suggested to Max that a panel of three people, chosen randomly, like a lottery, should be schooled to watch over the ranking process. Basically, names will be drawn out of a hat so to speak. But, no one related to any of the initiates is allowed on that panel."

I listen to him with curiosity, admiration, and a tad bit of annoyance. I feel even more exposed and pressured knowing all this. My mind tells me that this is a good thing though. I don't know if it's the right thing or not, but it surely is better than having people gossiping and speculating that I ranked whatever rank because of my husband. And I shouldn't be too embarrassed about people watching me spar or fight for points. They've already done that in the last few months. As for the fear simulations, I'm glad that they won't see inside my head. I just hope this will calm down the rumors and ill-intended comments.

Tobias crawls back into bed, pulling the comforter over our bodies, and holds me close to him. I wanted this night to be special. I know we won't be far away from each other, but it feels as if one of us is going away for a long time, and I hate it.

I don't even know when I fell asleep, but I must have, because now I am in Marcus's house again. Even though it looks like every other Abnegation house, I would recognize it out of a billion. I can smell the stench of fear he'd always cause in Tobias and I, mixed with the unmistakable smell of blood. I look around, and suddenly the walls start bleeding.

"This is for your own good," I hear Marcus's voice, dark and unforgiving. I turn around, and let out a terrible scream.

I sit up in bed, panting heavily, tears streaming down my face. I am shaking violently. The images are now forever imprinted in my mind. Tobias!

"Babe, shush, calm down. You are alright. You are safe," comes Tobias's soothing voice. I feel his strong arms encircling my trembling frame, holding me together as I threaten to fall apart. Tobias positions himself behind me, putting a leg on each side of me, pressing his chest into my back, and holding me tightly. This isn't the first time one of us had a nightmare, but it's the first one in many months. I had almost forgotten I used to have them.

I am sobbing bitterly, frantically trying to erase the image of Tobias's bloodied corpse on the living room floor, Marcus's evil smirk, and the two hearts in Marcus's left hand. He ripped both our hearts out, and crushed them.

"He killed you! He killed you! He killed you!" I repeat, and a new wave of sobs and tears escape my wrecked body.

"Tris, baby, I'm alright. I'm right here, with you. He didn't kill me," Tobias whispers into my ear, kissing me softly on the cheek. He knows who HE is. It's Marcus, it's always him. He is the main character in our nightmares. I sometimes wonder if he'll ever go away. I sometimes, very selfishly, wonder if he would still be in our nightmares if he would die in reality. I never asked that question out loud, but when things like this happen, I can't help but wonder.

I have no idea how long I've been crying for, when Tobias eventually maneuvers us to lie down. He is still holding me tightly to his chest, making sure my head lies over his chest where I can hear and feel his heartbeat. We both do that when we wake from a particular disturbing vision of death.

I am grateful that he is here to hold me, and I am even sadder than I was when I went to sleep over the upcoming weeks when I will have to sleep alone. I snuggle closer to him, wanting to melt into him like we do when we make love, wanting to escape the harsh reality of tomorrow. I know we will be fine, we always are. We are a team, and we work together to achieve our goals. It always has been this way. There are times I can't even remember who I was before I was his wife. We are still two people, each with their own personality, wishes and desires, but we are also more. We are so much more than husband and wife. We are best friends, partners, lovers, parents; we are each other's ultimate support. The bond that has formed over the years is so strong that there are times I know when he is sad or happy -even when I don't see him. It's a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach that makes me go find him. It has often happened that he's appeared out of the blue to hug or kiss me, gentle and loving, just to show me he was there. None of us can explain it, but there are things in life that just remain a mystery.

I look up at him, and force a smile. He returns it, just as forced, but then it falls, and we both know why. As prepared as we are, tomorrow will still be a hard day for us. Marcus will finally find out that I was in Dauntless for the past two years. He will know that I am still married to his son. I can only hope he won't find out too soon about Rose. There are a million things that could go wrong tomorrow, and I am scared. Scared I might fail; scared I might screw up initiation. I am just so scared.

"I love you," Tobias announces, his voice deep and husky, and, as I stare into the ocean in his eyes, I feel the mood shift. I need him; I need him now.

I crash my lips over his in a fervent kiss. His arms pull me closer to his hard body, pressing my softness flush against him. I feel the familiar ache of my want between my legs, and, without checking, I know I am ready for him. I love making sweet love to my husband, but tonight, tonight, I need him to be possessive, to take me, to own me, to protect me, to claim me as his and his alone. Tonight, I need him to be my rock, because, otherwise, I might just vanish into my own pain and fear.

A/N: Tris' Choosing is coming up and all their emotions are on overload. What will happen at the Hub?

Will Andrew show up? Will he be happy to see Tris? What will Marcus say? Will he try to stop her from choosing? Will Andrew finally see the true face of Marcus Eaton?

And what did you think of FourTris' little fight?

Let me know your thoughts.

Love you all, my initiates!