Keri was not a fan of meeting nor of greeting. She preferred to keep a rather tight circle of friends, and then not tell those friends anything about her past or her personal life. Ben was, really, the only exception to that, and she'd prefer it to stay that way.

So she was understandably anxious about the big Newbie Meet & Greet. Obviously, these were random fans, not, like, actual people she would have to be friends with (or even remember the names of), but it was still, like. Not her idea of fun, you know?

But she understood it was important. She knew that if she wasn't up here, she'd definitely be in the audience, itching to see what the newcomers were made of. Which only added to the pressure she was feeling right now, honestly, so, hooray.

The sound of a door opening snapped her back to reality. She was in the backstage area of an outdoor stage set up for the Meet & Greet, sitting with Cassie. Through the door walked Orion, carrying a box of clothes.

"One pro battler outfit, coming right up." He dumped the box onto the ground, and Keri watched as a bunch of cheaply-made replicas of her various Hero gear fell onto the floor in front of her. She picked up the headphones and tapped at them; despite the lights working and everything, they were just plastic, not metal like her real ones.

"You should get changed fast," Cassie said. "We don't have a ton of time."

Keri nodded. She quickly went through the familiar motions, putting the headphones on with a click and picking up the hero jacket replica. God, it really was cheap—if she wore this on a mission, she'd be so dead. She made a mental note to keep the two sets of clothes in very different places.

She slipped the jacket on over her t-shirt and then took off her sneakers, replacing them with the hero runners. Er, the fake hero runners.

This was really weird. She felt like she was cosplaying herself.

Cassie checked the clock on her phone. "Cephalosquad should be here any minute now. It'll just be the captain and the newbie. I presume you already know what Brush Wrestler looks like, since she's been captain for years now, but her real-life name is Jierdan, and she's actually really sweet when she's not on the battlefield. Their newbie's going by 'Skater' for the tournament, and her real name's Alex. I've never met her myself, but if Jierdan chose her, she's probably fine. Cephalosquad's known for their sportsmanship."

Orion nodded. "Yeah, they're a great bunch. Hey, Cassie, if you think you've got this, I'm gonna head—Halley said she had something to talk with me about. It sounded boring, but you know how she gets."

"It's probably important," Cassie said. "Don't worry about me—this is mostly on Keri anyway."

Well, that made her feel a lot worse.

Orion left through one door just as the other door opened, revealing two female Inklings. They were both colored blue, Cephalosquad's color, and Keri recognized one of them as Brush Wrestler; or, Jierdan, she supposed.

Jierdan was wearing her pro outfit, which consisted of a white martial arts gi with a black belt and an inkbrush insignia, and another black belt wrapped around her forehead that trailed down behind her. She was wearing her tentacles in a new style that was starting to catch on, with a single, wavy tentacle hanging asymmetrically on one side of her face. The other Inkling—Alex, she presumed—was dressed in more of a street style, with a t-shirt, shorts, a sideways baseball cap, and high-topped tennis shoes. She had shorter, chin-length tentacles, and was carrying a dynamo roller over her shoulder with such ease you would think it were a carbon.

Cassie walked up to Jierdan and brought her into a hug. "Hey, Jierdan! Always nice to see you."

"You too. Are Halley and Orion getting along?"

Cassie laughed. "You're funny."

Keri tuned them out, instead staring at Alex. Alex stared back.

"You look familiar," they said, simultaneously.

Cassie turned. "You two know each other?"

It took a few moments, but when the light bulbs went off, they did so together.

"You're that asshole from Ammo Knights!"

"You're the bitch that came in for maintenance the other day!"

"Um." Jierdan bit her lip. "Oh… kay…" She looked desperately to Cassie, who just shrugged.

"God, you seriously go by the name 'Hero?' You're so full of yourself," Alex spat.

"Oh, shut it," Keri retorted. "You know this is just marketing."

"Yeah, and to support your stupid-large ego," Alex said. "You think just because you got onto a pro team you're suddenly some hero? Well, you're not. Just because you have a team and a pretty face doesn't mean you're better than everyone else!"

Jierdan and Cassie shared another look. Keri didn't particularly notice.

"Ha! You're just jealous that you didn't get on your top team," Keri said.

Alex's eyes darted over to her captain, then back to Keri. "Shut up."

Keri smirked; now we were getting somewhere. "What was it you said? That Cephalosquad was 'dumb as shit?'"

"No! Shut up!" Alex clenched her hands into fists. One moved towards the handle of her roller, causing Keri's battle instincts to go on alert, and she reached for her dualies.

"Uhhhh," Cassie said eloquently, looking uncomfortably between everyone.

"Hey, that's enough, you two!" Jierdan said, stepping in and pushing them away from each other. "In this league, we aim to help each other grow, not knock each other down. Keep the fighting on the battlefield. Got it?"

Keri took one look at Jierdan's face. "Got it. Yes. Sorry."

Alex squirmed, shooting one last glare at Keri and then looking away. "Yeah. Whatever."

Cassie coughed. "Well. Now that you two have, uh, gotten to know each other, I think it's time we showed the public who you are. Because we're supposed to be out there in like a minute. Okay? Okay."

Keri sighed. Oh, this was just getting better and better.

Cassie and Jierdan mumbled to each other, and Keri and Alex glared at each other, as they made their way through the halls of the building. Eventually, they stopped at a curtain, and Cassie turned around. "Alright. They should've just gotten done introducing the new team, so you two are up next. When they call your name, go out there and—"

"Hey! You people a fan of Ink Blast?" came Callie's voice from some speakers on the other side of the curtain. The crowd cheered wildly.

"Shit. Okay. Get ready, Keri."

Right. This was happening. "What am I supposed to do? Wave?"

"Do something that makes you look fresh," Jierdan offered. "Don't worry, you'll be fine."

"Well, here's their newest member! Everyone say hello to Hero!"

Cassie made a 'get going' motion, and Keri pushed through the curtain onto the stage. Oh, god, those were spotlights. Argh, that was bright! Fight through it, Keri; you have to look cool!

Shit. There were so many people here.

"Hero embodies the fighting prowess and determination of those mysterious secret agents who fight for Inkopolis," Marie said, voice crackling over the speakers. "She's light on her feet and knows how to maneuver around heavy enemy fire."

Keri walked towards the front of the stage, her face scanning over the crowd. There were tons of people here; Inklings, Jellies, Crustaceans, Anemones, everything. She didn't know what to do. Was she supposed to, like, pose? Crap. She grabbed her Hero Dualies from her sides and spun them around in what she hoped was a cool manner, and wanted to die.

Callie began snickering slightly, but managed to hide it, her voice relatively composed once she began talking over the speakers. "And to seal the deal, she's armed with a full set of Hero Weapon Replicas, and proficient with all of them; a true flex battler!"

"Or maybe," Marie said conspiratorially, "they aren't even replicas…"

Callie gasped dramatically. "Marie! Are you suggesting that Hero might really be one of those secret agents? What intrigue!"

Oh, fuck them.

"But wait!" Callie continued. "Ink Blast isn't the only team with a new member! Everyone, say hello to Skater from Cephalosquad!"

The crowd cheered as Alex walked out—or, rather, rolled out. She had leapt through the curtain and landed with her legs balanced on the shaft of her roller. In an impressive show of balance, she managed to ride the Dynamo out across the stage without tipping over. It reminded Keri of what she used to do with shopping carts when she was younger, but instead of four stable wheels, it was a single cylinder. As she reached the front of the stage, Alex let herself fall backwards. She landed on her feet and used the momentum to swing the roller up onto her shoulder.

Dammit, that was way cooler than what Keri had done.

"Skater uses her special technique to overcome the typical limitations of the Dynamo Roller," Marie explained. "No sense in pushing a heavy roller around when it can do the work for you!"

"Skater makes a great flanker for Cephalosquad, able to quickly ink down hallways and instantly splat off-guard opponents with the roller's hefty damage," Callie said. "But that's all from us! We're gonna turn it over to you people! Now's your chance to throw some questions at these lovely battlers!"

Wait, what? That was a thing?

"Hero, why don't you start us off and take a question from the crowd?" Marie asked.

Keri looked over the sea of creatures—practically half of them had their hands raised.

Uhhhhhhh. Just… pick one, right? She pointed at some girl in the fourth row. "You, in the purple striped shirt."

The girl jumped up. "You've got a full set of hero weapons? How?! They're so rare!"

Oh my god. Why does everyone always ask that. "Well, duh, they were issued to me when I became an agent," Keri answered. She then turned to Alex, who was giving her a very prominent 'what a dork' look. "Your go."

Alex rolled her eyes and chose someone from the crowd.

"Is your technique learned or is it, like, specific to you, like with Mutant's?" the boy asked.

"It's a learned skill. You just need a lot of strength and a hell of a lot of balance. I've never met anybody else who can do it, but it's possible for most people, I think." When she was done, she motioned back to Keri.

Keri scanned the crowd, and was about to call on someone when she noticed a boy towards the back jumping and waving his hand frantically. She squinted; oh, wow, that was totally Ben. Ha! He must be losing his mind! She smiled at him, then turned back to her original person. No way was she calling on him.

"Do you have a special technique?" asked the other boy.

"Well, kind of," she said, scratching her forehead. "I'm a really good dodger. I can do all sorts of cool flips and stuff to help avoid enemy fire. I'm sure you'll see it if you watch the matches."

"You with the purple tentacles in the backwards baseball cap," Alex said once she was done.

"How excited were you to get on Cephalosquad?!" squealed the girl, practically jumping up and down. Now that she was standing, Keri could make out that she was wearing a Cephalosquad t-shirt.

Alex cleared her throat. "Uh, definitely extremely excited. I've… always wanted to be on a pro team."

Keri looked at her. If you're gonna lie, at least try to be subtle about it. Whatever, not her problem. "You, with the red skateboard and headphones."

"Who's your favorite Squid Sister?"

"Hmm, that's a really good question." She subtly eyed the commentator's booth. Callie wove her hands into a heart against the window and smiled impossibly sweetly at her. She had the world's deadliest puppy dog eyes—fortunately, Keri was numb to them by this point. Marie, on the other hand, just held up a couple coins and winked.

"Marie," she said. Callie's faced changed from cute and innocent to frustrated and vengeful in and instant, and Marie just smirked.

Keri, as it happened, was not numb to money.

Alex had apparently been watching the whole exchange, because she looked at Keri with a very clear 'How the hell do you know the Squid Sisters?' kind of look. Keri ignored her. Alex frowned, but eventually turned back to the crowd and picked someone else out.

"Well, now I have to ask—who's your favorite Squid Sister?" questioned a boy with slicked-back tentacles.

"I'm actually more of an Off The Hook fan myself," Alex said.

So, apparently, the Squid Sisters' mics were off, because the slew of curses and insults that Keri could see them mouthing at Alex were completely inaudible. That was probably for the best.

Keri scanned the crowd once more. Ben was jumping up and down in a fervor, so Keri smiled at him sweetly and then called on someone else. Ben flipped her off.

"What motivated you to audition?" asked the boy she'd called on.

Keri thought for a moment. "Well, I was ten when the first season of the Splat League aired, and it was the first time I'd ever watched professional battling. I was blown away—it's on a whole different level compared even to normal high-ranked play. This year was the first year I was old enough to participate, and Ink Blast has always been my favorite team, and I met the rank requirements, so it just seemed like the natural thing to do."

The boy nodded and sat back down.

"The girl in the fifth row in the yellow dress and beanie," said Alex, pointing.

The girl stood up. "Am I crazy or do you work at Ammo Knights?"

"I'm interning there, yeah," Alex said. "I've always thought the way weapons work and stuff is super interesting, and Sheldon's a really great teacher when it comes to that kind of thing."

"Well, that's all the questions we have time for, unfortunately," Callie said, her mic back on. "Thanks so much, you two! Everyone give them another round of applause!"

The crowd roared, and Keri took a moment to wave out at them. She made eye contact with Ben, and winked. He flipped her off with both hands this time.

As she turned to go back behind the curtain, she saw that Alex had already disappeared through it. When she got backstage, she saw her slumped against a wall. Her roller was propped up, and she was holding her head in her hands.

Keri frowned. This was… odd. "Um. You okay?"

"That was so awful," Alex said. "I totally let it slip that I don't actually like Cephalosquad, I snubbed the Squid Sisters at their own event—I'm so bad at this shit."

"Hey, it wasn't that bad," Keri said.

"Don't patronize me. God, I fucking told them where I worked, too! That's, like, such a bad idea!"

"Okay, well, yeah, that one was pretty bad. At least it should drum up business? And you looked really cool rolling onto the stage like that."

Alex spread her fingers on one hand, her eye poking through them to glare at Keri. "Are you making fun of me?"

"What? No! That was a genuine compliment, jerk!"

"Ugh. Whatever. I'm gonna go."

Keri sighed as Alex trudged off, but didn't have time to think about it further before her phone buzzed.

Ben: Get your little bitch ass out here right now so i can wring your neck like the goddamn dish towel that it is

Keri laughed, and began to type her response. This was some classic Ben right here.

You: lmaoooooooooooooooooooo got ya good didnt i

Ben: I'm going to actually literally murder you, come outside right fucking now

You: Make me

Ben: Fine. Be that way. Guess I'm coming in

You: Um?

Suddenly, she heard a shout from the distance, towards the backstage entrance. "Hey! Stop! You're not allowed back here!"

Oh my fucking god. She'd better go make sure he didn't get arrested. She took off towards the sounds of chaos, and arrived at… something.

She was back in the room she'd gotten dressed in. Halley had Ben pushed up against a wall, and was holding him firmly by the shoulders as Cassie, Jierdan, and Alex watched silently from behind with expressions ranging from concerned to amused.

"…and so we can't just have random fans barging in here. Got it?" lectured Halley. "I don't want to have to press charges against you but—"

"Ben, you idiot," Keri said.

Ben's eyes widened as soon as he heard her voice. In seconds, he had wrenched free of Halley's grip, and was right in Keri's face.

"You got on Ink Blast!" he screamed, shaking her by the shoulders.

Keri shrugged. "Yeah, guess I did."

"You know him?" Halley asked.

Keri nodded. "Unfortunately."

"I'm happy for you but also fuck you for not telling me," continued Ben.

"Don't you like a good surprise?" Keri asked, smirking. "Plus, it was funny to watch you squirm."

"You're still not allowed back here," Halley said.

Jierdan waved her off. "Oh, whatever. It's no big deal."

"You sat there listening to me talk about juniors and you didn't even say anything!" Ben raged.

"To be fair, I wasn't supposed to tell anyone," Keri said.

"I would've told you if it had been reversed!"

Halley scoffed. "Well, yeah, you clearly have no regard for rules and regulations."

"Are all your friends this dumb?" Alex asked.

"Oh, shut up," Keri said. "At least I have some."

"Oh-hoh, nice one!" Ben said, giving Keri a high five.

"Thanks. But, like, you really have to go now, I think."

"Yeah, he does," Halley said.

Just then, Callie and Marie entered the room. Keri sighed; this was getting out of hand.

"Hey guys," Callie said. "You all did great out there!"

"Mission successful," Marie said. "Oh, and, Keri, here." She walked over to Keri and dropped a modest stack of coins into her hands. "As promised."

Jierdan looked between Keri and Marie. "Excuse me?"

Callie crossed her arms and glared at her cousin, dutifully ignoring Jierdan. "You're the worst! I mean, stooping to bribery like that? I'm offended."

Marie cackled. "You're just mad you didn't think of it."

"At least I didn't answer with the name of another band," Keri said, eyeing Alex.

"Oh, shut it," Alex grumbled.

Callie just laughed. "Well, we gotta go. Catch ya later. And good luck on the tournament, all of you!"

The Squid Sisters left as quickly as they'd come, the door slamming behind them.

Cassie shot Keri an odd look. "Do you know the Squid Sisters? Like, personally?"

"Um." Keri bit her lip. "No?"

"The fuck," Ben said, in that eloquent Ben way of his. "What else is there? Don't tell me you're secretly some undercover government agent or something, because at this point—"

"No, no, it's nothing! Look, I just—know them. From, somewhere?" Everyone was looking at her funny, and she didn't like it. "Whatever. We're done here, right? I'm gonna go home. Bye."

"Keri—" Ben tried to say, but she was already shuffling out the door.

A few days later, and Agent 3 found herself once again at Cap'n Cuttlefish's shack, absentmindedly twirling around her hero charger. They were late. One of her fingers slipped, sending the charger clattering to the wooden porch of the shack, and she sighed. Frustrated, she pulled out her phone and re-read her texts.

Agent 1: 9:30 at the cabin. Be there or be square!

You: What is it? Did they steal another baby zapfish?

Agent 1: Actually, it's good news this time! We're bringing on another agent. Number 4 :D

You: Wait, really? I thought you guys were joking

Agent 1: Nope!

You: So did you pick this one out, or was it capn again?

Agent 1: Neither. She was a direct recommendation from Sheldon himself! We were getting another set of hero weapons for whoever we chose, and when he heard the reason he immediately dropped her name.

Agent 1: And, like, no way are we gonna say no to Sheldon! He's such a nice guy.

Agent 1: We'll be escorting Agent 4 there at 9:30, so make sure you're there to welcome the new recruit. And be on your best behavior!

You: Yeah yeah, I'll be there

And she was there, as promised. But all the rest of them were not.

Well, that wasn't necessarily true. Cap'n Cuttlefish himself was inside right now, but Keri really wasn't feeling too keen on listening to him drone on about his daring exploits during the war while constantly misusing teen lingo, so she was gonna stay out here, thank you very much.

It was another few minutes before Three saw a small band of figures approaching. She adjusted her bandana and cape, making sure her face was covered, and leaned up against the shack.

Agents 1 and 2, both in their incognito gear, arrived with another inkling between them. She had shoulder-length tentacles, and was wearing a visored helmet that obscured her face—it looked like they'd just quickly bought it out of a sports supply store or something.

"Sorry we're late," Agent 1 said. "We had to find something for Agent 4 to wear."

"Yeah, okay, whatever." Three looked away and crossed her arms. "Not like I wanted to know what her secret identity is or anything. Not like I want to be able to trust this new inkling I'll be thrown into life or death situations with."

"Oh, give it a rest, Three," Agent 2 said, rolling her eyes. "We need to go confer with Cap'n. You two can, like. Bond and stuff."

With that, the two of them walked inside, leaving Three out on the porch with the newbie.

"So, uh," Four began. "Those… those were the Squid Sisters, right? Like, I'm not crazy?"

Her voice sounded kind of familiar, Three thought. But that didn't really mean much, she supposed: she had heard quite a few voices in her life. "Legally, I can't tell you that," she answered.

"Yeah, yeah, of course," she said. "…But they are, right?"

Three shrugged. "Yeah."

"How does—why—"

"Don't worry, you'll get over it pretty quick. It only takes, like, two minutes of talking to them before you lose all respect for them as people."

Four laughed, kind of hysterically. "This is wild. Like—apparently I'm a secret agent now? Just like that?"

"Yep, that tends to be how it goes."

"This is wild," she repeated. "I'm totally not qualified for this. Like, sure, I'm a good fighter, but—but this is, like, real! You fight octarians and shit!"

"Hey." Three put a hand on her shoulder. "Sheldon wouldn't have picked you if you weren't ready for this. I know we don't know each other, but the fact that you're standing here tells me you must be strong, reliable, brave, and at least something of a decent person. So, respect."

Agent 4 gave a smile. "Thanks." There was a best of silence. "So, like… what do we do, exactly?"

"Good question," Three said. "So, I have literally no idea what Cap'n Cuttlefish does when he's not overseeing my missions. He just kind of vanishes sometimes. And then Agents 1 and 2 do various things, but mostly recon and diplomatic stuff. And then I'm kinda the front line, 'take the Octarian army head on' person. I'm not quite sure exactly what your job will be, but I'm sure you'll do fine."

"You took on an army?"

Three nodded. "Only almost died, like, three times, too. Trust me, the adrenaline rush you get when the spawn points power down allows you to do anything." She paused. "But yeah. Octarians are suprisingly sucky at fighting."

"Well they have power problems, right? They can't afford to spend energy on stuff like spawn points for mock turf wars like we can. And that's why we can be so adept at fighting from a young age. I mean, I assume you come from a turf war background?"

"Something like that," Three said.

The door creaked open, and Agent 2 stepped out. "Hey. Cap'n wants to see you, Agent 4. And, uh, Three, you can go home if you want. We don't really, you know, need you here."

"Then why the fuck did you call me out here?"

"Blame One. Now stop whining, we need to talk with Four."

Three sighed the most passive-aggressive sigh she could muster. "Whatever." She turned to Four. "Well, it was nice meeting you. You seem a lot less annoying than those assholes. Catch ya later."

"Yeah, you too," responded Four, giving her a small wave before following Agent 2 into the shack.

Three stood outside for a few seconds longer, mumbling to herself. "She seems nice."