A/N: Thank you, It'sHardIKnow for beta reading this. Thank you all for following, sharing, voting and commenting on this story.
Chapter 32
Tris
Saying goodbye to Tobias and Rose was harder than I thought. Despite knowing that I'll be home in a matter of hours, it feels as if I am leaving them forever. I know I am overemotional because of my nerves, but I can't help it. As much as I wanted this to happen - to experience initiation and become a member - I am still dreading the long ten weeks it will last.
Tobias wanted to come with me to the tracks and wait for the train as well, but he had to take Rose to daycare, and I think it was better that he didn't come anyway. I needed a few moments to myself to collect my thoughts. I am in a car with Max, Harrison and Zeke. My friends got into the car behind ours, and, for once, I'm glad they did. I am too nervous to discuss anything with them. Max and Zeke know about this situation best, and while Harrison is looped in, I haven't really talked about Marcus with him.
"Relax, Tris. Jack and Vanessa called and told me they are already at the Hub, and Natalie will be there too," Max speaks reassuringly, picking up on my anxiety.
"Max is right," Zeke chimes in with a nod of his head, "everything is ready. Marcus won't be able to fight this. You have the law on your side, and if that fucker even tries to lift a finger against you, well, not that you would need it, you can take that motherfucker down all by yourself, but look around you. Dauntless protects their own and you, my baby sis, are Dauntless," he tells me, and pulls me into a brotherly hug.
I almost start crying, but blink the tears away. I need to be strong. I know, logically, that I have nothing to fear, but as I approach the Hub, knowing he is there, all the suppressed memories and nightmares come back with a vengeance. What will I do when I see him? What will I say? Will I be able to stand my ground? Yes, I have to – for my family. I am not the one who is a monster. He terrorized Tobias for years, beat him up, forced him to do his bidding. He forced Tobias into a marriage, and while it worked out between us, it could have been easily someone other than me, making him miserable for the rest of his life. I have to remember that Tobias and I left Abnegation to save our lives whilst simultaneously starting them fresh in a new faction. I have to remember this is for my husband and daughter. Marcus would have killed us eventually if we would have stayed in Abnegation. There is no way we would have ever been good enough for him. Not that we ever wanted that, either.
The Hub appears before us, and we prepare ourselves to jump. Max goes first, then Harrison. I take a deep breath, and run toward the door, leaping out the moving train. For a moment, I am suspended inmid-air. It almost feels like I am flying, but I am not. Too soon, my feet hit the ground, and I take a few steps forward to steady myself. Zeke lands next to me a moment later, and we both laugh. We've done this countless times, and yet it is always the best of rushes. Doing something so Dauntless reminds me that I belong there, with my faction, with my family.
"Beatrice?" I hear my full name, and look up as I recognize the voice. Dad.
"Hey, Dad," I respond, sheepishly.
He looks astonished. It seems that he can't grasp the fact that I am actually standing in front of him. I see Mom standing a little behind him, smiling at me. I want to smile back, but seeing my father after two years is just so overwhelming. I know I have to say something, but words seem to have eluded me completely. I don't have time to think of it any longer because my father launches himself at me, enveloping me in his embrace, squeezing me tightly to his chest.
"My sweet girl, I am so sorry," he exclaims.
My heart breaks for him hearing the anguish in his voice. I never thought I would ever hear my father apologize to me, and am a little shocked at his reaction. Did Mom tell him something? We agreed thatshe shouldn't. We didn't want to tip off Marcus of my arrival today.
"I should have looked harder for you. I should have never let you disappear. This is all that boy's fault," Dad mutters angrily.
I pull back from him, and glare. Is he kidding me right now? He blames Tobias? Technically, I did run away because of him, but that's not the point. We both ran to save our lives. How dare he blame Tobias? I feel anger take over me, and slap my father so hard that he actually stumbles backwards. He looks at me shocked with his eyes wide and mouth hanging open.
"How dare you blame Tobias?" I ask furiously, "it wasn't his shit idea to get married in the first place. You and Marcus wanted that. Don't blame Tobias for choosing what was right for him, when you chose what was right for you," I grit out from between my teeth. I know he was scared, and couldn't find another way out of the mess he created, but that doesn't give him the right to blame it on someone else.
"Beatrice!" I hear Marcus's voice. I look from the stunned figure of my father up to Marcus, who puts on an innocent face. "What are you doing here?" he asks, his voice sounding concerned, but I know him well enough to know it's fake. I catch Mom from the corner of my eye stepping closer to us, inching closer to me.
"What kind of dumb question is that?" I ask Marcus in an antagonizing tone. He frowns for a moment, before looking concerned again. Concerned, my ass! "It's Choosing Day, you dumb fuck. What do you think I'm doing here?" I watch anger flash his face at my insolent remarks. I don't care. I've had it with this motherfucker. I hate him so much.
"I'm afraid you can't choose," he declares, obviously self-satisfied.
"Really? And who's gonna stop me? You?" I retort cruelly with a sarcastic laugh, "don't flatter yourself, my dear father-in-law," I speak - louder than intended. I watch Jack and Vanessa come closer to where we are, emerging from the Hub behind Marcus.
"It is against our laws for factionless to choose a faction," he states with a smug grin.
"Are you blind or something?" I provoke him, getting in his face. The last time I was this close to Marcus was when I was yelling at him for trying to kill Tobias. I will never forget that night. But a lot has changed. I am Dauntless now. I can fight. And I will kill him if he ever lays a finger on anyone I love ever again. "I'm wearing black, you stupid piece of shit," I spit. I see his mask waver.
"You insolent little girl!" he almost shouts. Good. Let the people know who you truly are, you bastard!
"Beatrice, behave yourself! This is our leader," my father interrupts, angrily. I don't even look at him, I keep glaring at Marcus.
"He is no leader of mine. My leaders are Dauntless. Oh, and, just so you know, you fucktard," I growl, poking his chest with my right index finger, "I am a Dauntless dependent. Therefore, I am in my legal right to choose today."
"Ha," Marcus laughs. "You are Abnegation-born. And then you ran away to live with the factionless. You can't choose today. I won't let you."
"That is not up to you, Marcus," Max cuts in, his voice grave and threatening. Marcus finally looks up, a look of disgust washing over his face just for a second, "yeah, you see, when your son chose Dauntless, he requested for his wife to be allowed dependent-ship. The moment he became a member, she was allowed into the compound, where she has lived for the past two years," Max explains.
"But that's unheard of. Surely, that isn't legal," Marcus argues. His tone is more agitated than before.
"As a matter of fact, it is very legal," Vanessa steps in, positioning herself next to me, "I am Mrs. Eaton's lawyer, Vanessa Kang," she adds, extending her hand towards my evil father-in-law, but he just stares at her dumbfounded. She retracts her hand a moment later, and goes to explain that because Tobias chose Dauntless, I came to Candor to live in the abandoned women shelter. Since I wasn't breaking the law, I was permitted asylum, and once Tobias was a member, I went to Dauntless, just like Max said.
"But, that's preposterous." Marcus seems to be completely stunned by this turn of events.
"As you can see, Mr. Eaton, my client is in her legal right to choose a faction today. She never lived a day factionless, and even if she did, she was claimed by her husband, who then became her legal guardian."
"How can Tobias be her legal guardian, when he abandoned her?" my father asks angry. I see Vanessa wanting to explain, but I step forward, getting in my father's face.
"The moment Tobias chose, I became his legal responsibility. And he didn't abandon me. We planned to leave." I can see my father is surprised by what I'm saying.
"What? Why?" he asks confused.
"Ask your buddy. I'm sure he could tell you countless stories of how he mistreated his son and me, and how he planned to rape me. Isn't that right, my dear father-in-law?" I spit with venom in my voice.
"How dare you?" Marcus yells, outraged.
I don't want to be here anymore. I push past them, and walk towards the Hub. I'm sure Mom will stay behind with Dad to comfort him, and eventually explain things. I hear footsteps behind me, and a moment later see Max and Zeke flank me. I'm sure Harrison is behind me also. I smile to myself.
We head toward the elevator, and as soon as the door opens, we all file in. There are a few other people already inside, but all of us, including Vanessa and Jack, manage to squeeze inside. Harrison pushes the button for the floor with the Choosing Ceremony amphitheater, and a moment later the elevator starts its ascent.
"That was so awesome, sis," Zeke praises, and kisses my cheek.
"I hope this will keep him from causing trouble," Harrison mumbles, but I'm not sure if he directed it to anyone specifically.
"Don't worry. The law is on our side," Jack assures.
"Can we please change the topic? I had enough of this crap for one day," I tell them. I know what I want. I know I will choose Dauntless. I just need to calm down.
The ride is quiet from then on, or at least no one mentions Marcus anymore. I am thankful. This is the first step. I sigh. The elevator door opens, and I am the third person to step outside. I'm glad Tobias isn't here. He hates small spaces. And elevators are the epitome of that. At home, it's easier when we take the elevator because it's usually just us, and our daughter, and he is pretty much distracted. But if he had to ride the elevator in here, with this many people around, he would have surely had a panic attack. Plus, the whole argument with Marcus would have caused him needless pain. I have no problem facing that bastard. I would do anything for Tobias.
We enter the large room, and find our seats among the other Dauntless. I sit with my friends, grateful they weren't there when the whole showdown with Marcus took place. I am chatting with them, trying to get my mind off of painful things, when I see my parents walk in. My mom motions me to come to her, and I get up. She leads my father and me into a small side room close to the amphitheater, closing the door behind us.
"Beatrice, I told your father a few things," she states. I know she didn't tell him about Rose. I asked her not to. I nod my head. I look from her to him, and see how red his eyes are. Has he been crying?
"Dad?" I ask. He looks away ashamed. "Dad," I repeat, this time with more force. Mom whispers to me to tell him what happened, and I nod. We don't have much time, but he needs to hear this. I need to tell him. "Tobias and I were abused by Marcus. Well, Tobias was the one who was truly abused. Marcus had been beating him ever since his wife died," I begin, almost choking on the word. That bitch didn't die. She abandoned her child. I hope she rots in hell. "He even beat Tobias up the night I went to live with them." My dad looks shocked, appalled, speechless. I decide to go on. I know I don't have much time, and if I talk too much about those few months in the Eaton house, I will break down.
"On occasion, Marcus would slap me, kick me, or even punch me. He usually beat up Tobias, though, but it was to teach me a lesson. Whenever I did something he deemed wrong, Tobias got punished in my stead. Soon, after we got married, Marcus demanded that Tobias had sex with me. Marcus wanted us to have a child, so that I would never leave Abnegation. He was sure Tobias wouldn't choose anything else, and if I had a baby, I would never abandon it. I went to the clinic and got a birth control shot, as well as contraceptive pills. We thought, if we assured Marcus we were at least acting like a married couple, only postponing getting pregnant until Tobias finished initiation, we might be safe. But a week after he ordered his son to take my virginity, Marcus threatened that if Tobias wasn't man enough, he would do the deed." I take a deep breath. This is harder than I thought. "Dad, he threatened Tobias that if he didn't have sex with me, Marcus would rape me." I watch as my father sheds tears, his eyes pointed to the ground, his fists clenched. He is ashamed. Good. He should be. "We did it," I mumble, and feel a blush creep into my cheeks. "From day one, Tobias protected me as best as he could. He was just as mortified as I was. He was gentle, though. The poor thing apologized so much. I knew that Marcus would take me the next day to see a doctor to confirm I was no longer a virgin. He promised that if I still was, Tobias would get beat up, and I would be forced to have sex with Marcus." Dad looks up for the first time. Anger takes over his usually peaceful face, as he stares at me in disbelief.
"Did he touch you?" he asks, his voice a low growl, menacing.
"No. Tobias protected me. Two days after that, Marcus came home already angry, and when he didn't like what we made for dinner, he punched me. Tobias tried to step in between, but Marcus was stronger. He dragged me up the stairs, locked me in my bedroom, and went back down. I only heard what was happening." I can't stop the stream of tears running down my face. "He beat him up so badly, Dad that I thought Tobias was dead," I continue, sobbing. The mere memory constricts my heart, and causes me more pain than the labor pains I experienced when I gave birth. That pain was physical, and I knew it wouldn't last forever. Not to mention that the prospect of holding my child gave me enough strength to endure it. But this pain is permanent, strong, and unforgiving. It will never fade for as long as I live. "When Marcus finally let me out of the room, ordering me to clean up everything, unless I wanted a round two for Tobias, I rushed down to see the damage. There was so much blood everywhere. Tobias was barely breathing," I cry, choking on my words. The memory of that night is still raw, as if it just happened.
"I can't understand how Marcus could do that," Dad whispers with disbelief.
"Because he is a sadistic monster. It was then that I decided to escape. I looked for a way out, and luckily, I ran into Vanessa. She and her brother came to Abnegation when Marcus was gone for the meeting in Amity. Vanessa's brother is a doctor, and checked on Tobias. Dad, Marcus almost killed his own son. And I am absolutely certain that he would have raped me, given the opportunity."
"Why didn't you come to me? Why didn't you tell me?" he asks, his voice sounding desperate.
"How could I? The last time I saw you, you said I had no place in your house; that I was to live with my husband and father-in-law. I thought you wouldn't believe me. And even if you did, I had no guarantee that Marcus wouldn't take it out on Tobias. Dad, I fell in love with Tobias, and he loves me back. Our marriage might have been arranged, but we stayed together. Not just for convenience once he became a member of Dauntless, but because we chose each other. He is the love of my life, and I had to save him. It was my idea to defect. He just went along, to protect me, like he always does. I knew he would choose Dauntless on his Choosing Day. That whole dramatic exit of mine was staged. I needed to make a scene to run out, and meet up with Vanessa in the lobby to hide in Candor. It was all our plan. Tobias never abandoned me. He loves me. He treats me like I am a queen, fulfills my every wish. He is the perfect husband, and so, so much different from his evil father."
Silence falls between us. There are so many more things we have to talk about, things I want to ask, things I want to tell him, but we are interrupted when someone knocks on the door. Max enters, and tells us that the ceremony is about to start. I nod my head, and give my dad a quick hug. I rush outside, heading straight to the bathroom, where I wash my face. Thankfully, I took the eyeliner with me, and freshen up a little. I hope the evidence of my tears isn't too evident on my face, but somehow, I can't muster the will to care about that right now.
I return to the amphitheater and sit with my friends. They ignore me, knowing I need a moment to collect myself. I'm grateful for that.
This year, Jack is in charge of leading the ceremony. After the mandatory boring speech about our faction system and whatnot, he starts calling names in alphabetical order. One by one, the dependents of the five different factions walk to the center of the stage, taking a knife in their hands, and cutting themselves slightly. Once their choice is made, Jack calls out the chosen faction.
"Beatrice Eaton," he calls. It sounds a little surreal to me. I almost expected him to call me Beatrice Prior, despite being married for over two years now. I smile a little to myself. I need to be brave. I know what I want. I want Dauntless; I want my family; I want Tobias.
A/N: Tris' choosing - I think I'd be a bitch if I'd ask you 'what do you think she'll choose?' i think we all know what :)
What did you think of the confrontation between Tris and Marcus?
What about the heart to heart with her dad?
What will happen next between Tris and her father? Will they be able to mend their relationship? And when will she tell him about Rose?
Curious to hear from you.