Special thanks to Ireallylovepuppies101/myheroships who helped me with a roadblock I had in this chapter. This chapter is dedicated to you my dear. XOXOXO!

Chapter 65

The force of which Brainy stood from his chair and threw his arms around Creek, nearly knocked Creek over. Almost instinctively, Creek wrapped his arms around Brainy in return and the two of them stood like that in silence for some time,

It was when Creek felt his chest getting wet that he pulled back to look at Brainy's face, rubbing under his eyes, "I just keep making you cry, don't I?"

Putting his hands over Creek's on his face, Brainy tried to stop crying but he couldn't manage it, "How could I not, after hearing that?"

"I was simply answering the question," Creek wiped more at Brainy's face but the tears were not stopping, "I didn't think it would upset you this much."

Brainy frowned, "How can hearing that you want to die, not upset me?"

"I don't want to die," Creek corrected, "I wish I was already dead, there's a difference."

Sniffing, Brainy looked into Creek's face, "I don't understand."

With a sigh, Creek pulled back a bit more, slipping his hands free from Brainy's, "It's hard to explain."

Stepping closer again, Brainy took hold and held one of Creek's hands in both of his, "Try," he looked into Creek's gray eyes, not flinching, "please?"

Looking at their hands, Creek sighed again. With a quick look, around the room he pulled Brainy over to his bed for both of them to sit. He did not try to take his hand back but he remained silent for a bit, gathering his thoughts, "How much detail did I go into when I was talking out loud about what happened with Bro- With that bastard?"

Nibbling his lower lip, Brainy squeezed Creek's hand but even he was unsure who it was for, "Not much, your thoughts seemed pretty scattered at the time."

"Good," Creek muttered, looking at his knees, "I don't think I could describe it if I tried. I had never been so scared or in such pain before or since."

Again, Brainy squeezed Creek's hand but this time Creek squeezed back.

"The idea that he could come back, that it could happen again terrified me," Creek continued, voice soft. "Nothing seemed worse, not even death."

It took a few attempts for Brainy to successfully swallow the lump in his throat, "That's why you were going to drink the tea."

Creek nodded, "I hate this. All of this. I hate remembering. I hate looking back on my life since then. I hate questioning every decision I've ever made and wondering if it was really a decision I made or subconsciously influenced by my assault." He took a shaky breath. "I don't want to die; I don't think that doing anything now would be something even Poppy could forgive. I just wish it was already over."

Though keeping hold of Creek's hand with one hand, Brainy lifted the other to wipe the tears off his face before turning more to face Creek, "I know it hurts but… I'm happy you're here. I'm so relieved that Poppy walked in when she did that I can't even think of the words to properly express it." He gently reached up and turned Creek's face towards him. "And I realize that it may not feel like it now but I know you're going to get through this. You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for and I'll be here, no matter what happens."

Looking into Brainy's eyes, Creek seemed to be looking in them for something. Slowly, he leaned in and kissed Brainy briefly.

Staying still, Brainy watched Creek as he pulled back from the kiss, blushing softly, "What was that for?"

"It seemed appropriate," Creek shrugged, then smiled slightly. "You know, you're a lot sweeter than most of the Trolls I've dated."

Thinking it over, Brainy frowned, "Remember that list of Trolls you've dated that Branch asked for? I think you should give it to him."

Creek blinked, then chuckled, "I'm starting to think that you like taking me by surprise."

"Well, I can't say I object, if it makes you laugh," Brainy commented softly.

Watching him for a moment, Creek's gray eyes looked a little warmer than before, he raised his hand to cup Brainy's cheek, "So sweet." He leaned in and kissed Brainy again.

When Creek didn't pull back right away, Brainy moved his lips in an attempt to kiss back. His hands rose up to touch Creek but stopped mid-air, unsure.

Not pausing the kiss, Creek took hold of Brainy's arms, lifting them so they'd wrap around his neck. Once Brainy's arms were settled, he leaned in to deepen the kiss, licking over Brainy's lips.

The lick took Brainy by surprise, tongues having not been involved with their previous, brief, kisses. Hesitantly, he opened his mouth and attempted to imitate the motion.

Cupping Brainy's face in his hands, Creek captured Brainy's tongue between his lips, drawing it further out and sucking upon it before sliding his tongue past Brainy's lips to explore. One hand slid down Brainy's neck and chest to hold onto his waist as he tilted his head to create a slicker connection between their mouths.

A moan escaped Brainy and he broke the kiss with a shiver, panting softly, his hands clenching and unclenching around Creek's neck.

Sticking close, Creek smiled, "You forgot to breathe."

Looking up, Brainy blushed with a slight pout, "How am I supposed to breathe when you steal my breath away?"

Raising a teasing eyebrow, Creek turned them to lay Brainy onto the bed, hovering above him, "With practice I suppose." He leaned down and claimed Brainy's lips again.

Though Brainy kisses back at first, he groaned and turned his face away, "Wait, wait."

"What's the matter?" Creek kissed Brainy's cheek and down his neck, "Isn't this what you wanted?"

"Yes," Brainy groaned, turning his head more to give Creek better access, but, thinking better of it, turned back to look at Creek, "But not like this."

"What do you mean?" asked Creek, pausing to meet Brainy's eyes.

"I feel like you," Brainy blushed and cleared his throat, "I feel like you're just trying to offer me your body again and accepting would be taking advantage."

Moving closer, Creek spoke softly but his words beat tantalizing breaths of temptation against Brainy's lips, "What if I wanted you to?"

Eyes going wide, Brainy's face erupted into dark blue. He tried to leap out of the bed, declaring "no" repeatedly like an overwhelmed chant.

With an arm around Brainy's waist, Creek watched Brainy repeatedly try to get up without realizing that his arm was there keeping him in place. Chuckling, he pulled Brainy back onto the bed and kissed his cheek, "You're adorable."

Covering his face, Brainy hoped that he wasn't about to spontaneously combust with how warm he was getting.

"Relax," Creek kissed over Brainy's hand and removed his arm from across his waist, "I won't do anything if you don't want me to."

Lowering his hands, Brainy, still blushing, turned to look at Creek, whom was laying on his side watching him with his head propped up on his hand. At least Creek was looking in his direction, Brainy though Creek's gaze was rather distant though. He leaned in and gave Creek a small peck on the lips, bringing him back into focus, "Um, thanks."

Creek's lips quirked as if to smile but they didn't seem to have the energy anymore, "What a strange thing to thank me for."

"I don't think so," commented Brainy, voice soft. He sighed when Creek hummed, not really replying to him. "Come on, we should go to bed."

"Are you going to stay in the bed with me?" asked Creek, gazing up at him.

Though there was a moment of hesitation, Brainy nodded, getting off the bed in order to pull back the covers. He was silent as he watched Creek slip under the covers and while he laid down beside him, but couldn't keep his thoughts to himself after that, "Creek, I want to ask you something but I'm not sure if it's a taboo subject or not."

Humming, Creek propped his head up on his arm again, "You can ask and if it's taboo, I'll simply not answer."

"Um, alright," nodded Brainy, still hesitating. He nibbled on his lower lip before asking, "Have you ever had a romantic relationship not based on sex?"

"Bold question," commented Creek, faintly amused by Brainy's blush. "I suppose my few dates before," he waved about his free hand, not wanting to say it, "my incident don't count." He sighed, "I suppose it's just the one then."

Again, Brainy nibbled his lip and asked, "Cinnamon?" He blushed when Creek stared at him, "He's the only past relationship you've mentioned that you seem to still think fondly of."

Taking his head off his hand, Creek laid his head on his pillow and closed his eyes, "I suppose that's because he's the only Troll I've dated that I remained friends with afterward."

"Because your relationship was not based on sex," Brainy theorized.

"That would have been hard considering we never had sex," replied Creek.

Considering what little Brainy knew about Creek's previous relationships, it seemed liked Creek went along with whatever his partner wanted so more than likely Cinnamon never tried to have sex with Creek for one reason or another. Still Brainy had been the target of Creek' seductions and barely made it through without giving in, he wondered if Creek ever tried to do the same with Cinnamon if this former partner never made a move, "What was your relationship with Cinnamon like?"

Opening his eyes, Creek peered up at Brainy, Brainy unable to read the meaning of the intensity in those gray eyes, "Are you sure you want to hear that?"

Swallowing, Brainy nibbled his lower lip, then nodded.

"Cinnamon is a bit older than I am, same age as you know who, actually, they were classmates," Creek began, looking away as he spoke but did not close his eyes again, looking off at nothing, "But Cinnamon, like his name, is just so ridiculously sweet." He paused and smiled slightly to himself, "You two could make a competition of it actually."

Brainy half smiled, "Not sure it's very sweet to compete like that."

"Technicality," Creek dismissed it with a flick of his hand, then continued, "My relationship with him was different from the start, especially considering that we were sort of friends beforehand. Most of the wooing gifts I've received have been simple things, almost like a formality since I rarely said no. But three times a day, for a week I got notes delivered by a butterfly. Some were quotes of poetry, some were compliments and some were horribly done drawings of things around the village and each one came with a different herb or flower."

"Cinnamon is not a good artist I take it," said Brainy.

"He couldn't doodle his way out of a paper bag," Creek huffed out a chuckle, "But the effort was endearing. At the end of the week I got a note with my own pod key in it."

"He stole your house, er, pod key?" asked Brainy.

"Poppy leant him, her spare," Creek clarified. "Needless to say, I rushed home to see who it was and what they were doing. Found Cinnamon in my spare room, which I kept meaning to make into something useful but ended up just collecting books and other odds and ends that I wasn't sure what to do with. He had organized the room and added to it, turning into a perfect meditation room and study."

"He had put a lot of thought and effort into your wooing gift," Brainy summed up, voice hesitant as he tried to imagine it all, especially how it must have met Creek felt.

Nodding, Creek continued, "I normally don't date friends but," he sighed, "I made an exception and, in some ways, I'm glad I did. I liked being with him; he never stopped being sweet or putting in the effort as if still trying to woo me for a first date, no matter how many dates we went on. He asked for permission to kiss me, every single time. I liked the person I was with him." His eyes drifted shut, remembered feelings washing over him, his voice very soft when he spoke again, "He made me feel safe."

Taking in a deep breath, Brainy wished he hadn't asked. All of this was building up to a Troll Brainy could never live up to, beside the idolized image of Branch in Creek's mind that Brainy could never reach. Still, as much as it hurt, he had to ask, "Did you love him?"

Opening his eyes, Creek looked up at Brainy, then away, "I don't know. At the time I knew I cared about him but it didn't feel like love. I thought it would be only a matter of time before I did though; I wanted to be with him." He rubbed over his face, sighing, "I was planning to propose when he broke up with me."

Brainy felt like he had been struck and tried not to let it show in his voice, "But you said you never developed the feelings needed for marriage."

Looking at him, the gray of Creek's eyes were colder than ever before, "I also told you that I've lied to you since our first conversation."

Not able to take the gaze, Brainy looked away.

Unprompted, Creek continued, "Cinnamon could tell I was keeping something from him but keeping my memories suppressed had been more important so," his hand made a sweeping gesture, "If I had loved him I wouldn't have let him go. Though with everything I've learned about myself recently, I don't think I'm capable of falling in love anymore."

"Don't say that," Brainy pleaded, turning to him again. "This has been a lot to take in, yes, but it doesn't change who you are; it doesn't change what you're capable of. If love is something you want, then you should have it; you deserve a great love. A love that will make you happier than you thought possible at the bare minimum. Even if," he swallowed, pushing back the desire to hold on, "Even if it means it's not with me."

Staying silent, Creek watched Brainy for a moment, then reached out and took his glasses, "Don't be ridiculous." Sitting up slightly, he put Brainy's glasses on the nightstand and laid back down beside him, wrapping an arm around Brainy's waist, "If I'm going to fall in love with anyone, it's going to be you."