Sorry about the code stuff or whatever. I swear I looked over the document before I posted it but whatever... i really do apologize, though. Thanks to those who reviewed to let me know, because I wasn't going to even come back on until tomorrow. Hopefully I won't have anymore problems like this in the future
IM BAAAAAAAACK! I decided not to leave you hanging too long, and therefore am giving you a chapter! Thank you to everyone who reviewed/followed/favorited. You guys are amazing and the reason that I even bother to write. Like seriously you guys rock. OH and I did get a lot of interesting theories as per Ravens behavior, hmmmm I wonder if any of you are correct…?
I do not own the Teen Titans
"Rae calm down, it's okay." Garfield said pulling Raven into a hug that she, to his surprise, didn't refuse.
For the second time ever Garfield found the pale girl crying ion his arms. Last time it was the pills and now—whatever it was making Raven so upset.
Raven looked into his eyes and said through her sobs, "No, Gar, it's not"
'She called me Gar!' he thought with just momentary excitement before he returned his attention back to the problem at hand.
"I'm a fucking terrible person, and nothing you say will ever change that," Raven said calming down her sobs.
Garfield pulled her back, looked her in the eyes and said, "Stop. Stop it right now. Raven you are the most amazing, beautiful and intelligent girl I've ever met. So, stop saying that you're terrible because I'll never believe it."
"You don't know me," Raven replied quietly stepping back from his embrace.
"Then let me know you" Garfield grabbed her hand and placed it between his own.
"Have you ever hated someone so much, but then when it comes down to it, you realize how much you love them?" Raven asked with more emotion in her voice now than there had been in years.
Garfield appeared confused by her question, unsure what caused her to ask it.
"I- I don't know what you mean," he stammered.
"You have foster parents, right?" She asked abruptly
"Uh… yeah" Gar responded, not liking where this conversation was going
"What happened to your real parents?" She asked pulling Gar down to the porch steps.
"Why-why do you w-want to know?"
"Dammit Gar, you want to know me, to have me bear my soul when I don't know a god damned thing about you!" Raven seethed, anger rising in her
Garfield looked down into his lap and then into a pair of beautiful blue-violet eyes. Raven put a hand on his cheek
"Let me know you, Gar"
Garfield sighed and began to speak,
"I grew up all over the place. I was born in the U.S. but moved throughout various parts of Africa. My parents were scientists and their work meant everything to them. Actually I was probably the only thing they cared about more than their work. They'd do anything for me. They were studying this virus that turned animals green or whatever. I was only six at the time and really adventurous. They always told me not to go into the forest without them, but I saw this really cool frog—and well you get the rest.
I was chasing the frog when I saw this huge green gorilla. I was like 'hey giant aggressive gorilla! Wanna be my friend?' Like I said, I was six. So anyway, the gorilla attacked me and I got really upset so I ran home. My mom was PISSED, yahno like she TOLD me not to go in there. But, then she saw the bite mark and started freaking out. I was just like, 'it's okay mommy, it's okay that the green gorilla doesn't want to be my friend.' Then she started freaking out even more. She screamed for my dad and explained everything. Apparently I had caught the Sukata virus ,which has been known to be fatal for humans.
They performed all these tests and did everything they could to keep me alive. After a few weeks got really weak—like REALLY weak. I was lying in the makeshift hospital bed when I blacked out. I woke up a few days later and everything felt normal. My parents were so happy. The only side-effect was the necessity to take extra vitamins every day. For a while everything was great. We planned an awesome boat trip that I was so excited for. After being sick for so long it felt nice to go out and do normal family things.
So I was like eight when we went on this boat trip. We were supposed to sail for seven days, but something happened. The water was rough—like abnormally rough. And then the boat started to shut down or whatever a fire stared in the engine. There was a life boat, but it couldn't fit all of us. So, they put me on it with all of the food we packed and sent me off. I- I could still see when the engine exploded. *sniffle* I eventually made it to shore and sent back to the U.S and adopted my Steve and Rita."
Garfield managed to control his tears as Raven rubbed his back. He has only told one other person about his parents and that was Victor.
"If I had done something, then maybe they would have survived with me." Gar said solemnly pouting his head in his hands.
He straightened himself up and looked over to Raven,
"Your turn. Why do you think you're so terrible?"
"I forgot." She said simply
"What did you forget?"
"I forgot what today was. And when I realized that I forgot—as much as I hate her—I felt like a total Bitch"
Garfield looked at her for more explanation. She couldn't dance around it anymore, he had told her what had happened to his parents and she realized that he probably would understand.
"Two years ago I lived in Azarath with my mother and father. It was right after support group with Victor—I presume he told you about that. My dad was being his uh usual self and I don't know I guess my mom couldn't take it anymore. I walked in my house as any normal day and headed up to my room only to see my mom holding a gun to her head. She looked me on the eye and mouthed 'sorry'. Then she blew her own fucking brains out sometimes I can still feel the pieces of her on my face.
She left me alone with my fucking father who of course blamed me. She never wanted to be a mother. I could see it in her eyes when she looked at me. I'm sure if my father had let her she would have gotten an abortion. Every time I close my eyes I see her dead body on the bedroom floor. And I hate it. I hate that I still love her. I forgot that today is the anniversary of her death. And- and I just forgot how much I missed her. After she MADE me promise days before. Was she planning this? it just it just hurts,"
Raven failed to mention that she was also the spawn of rape and that her dad didn't just blame her, but made sure that she suffered because of it. How couldn't her mother realize that by taking her own life it would only worsen the life of Raven? That with her gone the only one left for Trigon to abuse was Raven. How could she leave Raven behind?
Garfield out an arm around her sobbing body. He knew exactly (well almost exactly) what she was going through. Was there something you could have done differently? He did wonder what it was that Raven's mom made her promise.
"What was the promise?" He asked gently hoping not to upset her even more
There's no going back now, Raven figured as she told him
"She made me promise I wouldn't kill myself."
Garfield glanced at Raven's long sleeved shirts. Garfield pondered if he had ever seen her in anything but long sleeved shirts and jeans.
"Rae, let me see your wrists," he said feeling stupid for not suspecting this beforehand. It's because he never saw Raven as vulnerable. But, only now does he realize how wrong he is.
Raven's eyes widened at his demand, "Wh-what?"
He gently moved the sleeves of her shirt up, causing Rae to stiffen and his eyes to widen in disbelief. Years' worth of scars adorned her skin and that was simply her wrists.
"How long? How long have you been doing this?" Garfield questioned, his voice strained. How could his beautiful Raven do this to herself
"Since I was ten," She didn't mention that that was also when her dad started to abuse her. She also failed to mention that a lot of her scars were caused by said father.
Well there you have it! This chapter was kind of sappy and sad. Oh, and the views of suicide in this chapter do not reflect my views in anyway, it is simply how Raven is dealing with her mother's death. So, I am not saying that suicide is cowardly in anyway (I just thought I should get that out there so I don't offend anyone).
REVIEW PLEEEAAASE!