CHAPTER FOUR: Deflated

Waking with a start, Kate's heart is pounding. Her fight or flight reflexes cause adrenalin to surge through her body. What pulled her out of a deep sleep? Looking over at the nightstand, she sees the clock glowing. It's a little after 2:00 a.m. Grabbing her phone, she determines there aren't any missed text messages or phone calls. Uneasy, she reaches in her nightstand for her gun, wondering why her senses are tingling.

Listening carefully, she's greeted only by silence. Then she hears something different - a scraping noise and a bump. Getting out of bed, she cautiously sweeps through her apartment, turning on lights as she goes, only to find everything as she left it when she went to bed. Just as her tension eases, someone briefly pounds on her door, startling her. Slowly, carefully, she eases her way to the side of the frame. Looking through the peephole, she relaxes as she recognizes the person on the other side. Slipping the safety on her gun, she stows it out of sight before unlocking her door.

"Josh, what are you doing here?" she asks, clearly surprised to see him.

"Hey Babe. I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by." He grins at her.

Eyes a little bloodshot, hair ruffled, he grabs her and pulls her in for a kiss. The faint smell of beer on his breath catches her by surprise. He'd said he had to work tonight, but it's clear he's been out and about. Knowing its what's expected, she lets him kiss her.

As she leans into him, her mind flashes back to another kiss, with another man, just a few short weeks ago. Conflicted, she realizes with stark clarity that her dad was right. She has feelings for Castle. Feeling nothing from Josh's kiss, she can't help but compare her lack of response now to how she felt when Castle kissed her.

Wanting it to be different, she puts more effort into the kiss with Josh, trying to build something more meaningful between them. Combatting his urgency, she tries to soothe him with her mouth and tongue. But he misinterprets her response. Thinking she's into it, he opens his mouth and tries to consume her, grinding his lips into hers, slobbering a little on her chin, teeth gnashing uncomfortably against her, bruising her lips. Body following suit, his meaty hands grab and squeeze her ass just a little too hard, as he pulls her into his erection, before grinding against her, letting her feel his desire. Feeling repulsed, knowing she led him on a little, she pushes against him, wanting to put an end to this before it gets out of hand.

"Josh, you're drunk. You need to stop." Sighing, knowing it's never going to work, she pushes him back, creating space between them.

"Oh, don't be that way Babe. Let's have a little fun. You know you always enjoy it." Reaching out for her again, he grabs at the neckline of her t-shirt with one hand, pulling her towards him while trying to pull it down enough so he can grab her tits, "You like it when I touch you, you know you do. Let's get naked."

Arrogant, unaware, he bulldozes over her objections. Unzipping his pants, he reaches inside and grabs his dick, his large hands dwarfing its modest size. "Come on, Kate, let me feel your hands and mouth on me. I want to feel you around me."

Thinking back to a time when she didn't mind exploring his body, she realizes that the thought of being with him holds no appeal, even if he were sober. With a flash of insight, she realizes that while she likes sex, she doesn't like it with him nearly as much as she should. What's more, his crude advances are starting to piss her off. Since when has she become a quick fuck when he's drunk and feels like it? Knowing she should have put an end to their relationship much earlier, feeling a little guilty for stringing him along, she steps back and tries again.

"Josh! Listen to me. You need to stop. It's time for you to go. Don't embarrass yourself any more than you already have." The sharp tone in her voice doesn't seem to connect with him.

Eyes focused on her body, he doesn't see the flash of danger in her eyes. Pulling his shirt up to flash his six pack of abs before fingering his dick some more, he laughs and tries again. "C'mon. Don't be that way, Babe. I can slow down and make it good for you. I'm already up and ready to play. Don't be a killjoy." His begging is annoying.

Backing up, putting a little more steel into her voice, she barks out. "No, Josh. It's not happening." With a quiet, ominous tone in her voice he'd do well to heed, she grits out a warning. "You need to listen carefully. We're done. I don't want to see you anymore. It's time for you to leave."

Sobering up a little at the tone of her voice he steps back and really looks at her. When his eyes meet hers, he realizes she is very angry – more angry than he's ever seen her. Backpedaling, realizing he's miscalculated, he raises his hands in supplication. "Kate? Whoa – what? What'd I do?"

Pausing, he considers. "I'm sorry, I know I've been drinking, but don't you think you're overreacting?" he asks.

"No, Josh. This just isn't working. You know that." She replies, stating what's been obvious to her for awhile.

"No, Kate. That's not true. We're good together."

"We're not Josh and you know it. Don't tell me you haven't noticed."

"C'mon Kate. Just give us a chance. I've been patient. I've let you set the pace. We can make this work." Placating her, he tries to set things right. Looking him over, she thinks he just looks pathetic. Seeing the effect her words have had on his dick, she realizes that there's something almost comical with how quickly he loses his erection. Feeling a sense of detachment, as if she's on the outside watching things unfold, she thinks it's a bad time for her perverse sense of humor to reveal itself. Tamping down firmly on the smirk wanting to break free from his ludicrous appearance, she steels herself for whatever he has to say, determined to finish things tonight.

As if reading her thoughts, he hastily tucks himself back into his briefs and zips his pants back up, apologizing all the while. "I'm sorry, Kate. I didn't mean to be such a jerk. I just missed you so much and wanted to see you and you're always so busy. I feel like we never see each other. I know I've had a few, but we can work this out."

Wishing this wasn't happening in the middle of the night while he was drunk, she knows there's no way around it and steels her resolve. "I'm sorry too, Josh. I should have ended this awhile ago. This just isn't working for me." Feeling as if a weight has been lifted off her shoulders, she repeats, "We're done. It's over. And you need to go. "

Searching her eyes, he realizes she's talking about more than just tonight. Hands at his sides, expression the most serious she's ever seen it, he looks at her, defeated. "I knew this was coming. You've never been that into me. I thought I could change your mind. I thought maybe if we could just spend more time together…Maybe if I tried something different..." Seeing her shaking her head, arms crossed, completely closed off to him, he finally stops. "Shit. Okay. Let's talk in the morning. I'll go."

Letting out the breath she'd been holding, she feels a surge of relief and moves to the door to let him out and lock up after him.

With a kiss on her cheek, he says "I'll see you later" as he heads out the door.