AN1: Thank you to IsaBabisa for taking time to proofread and clean this story :)

AN2: Thank you all for the warm feedbacks, reviews and alerts. I really really appreciate them. I know it's kinda hard reading a situation like this. But I promise it will get better. Happy Reading everyone! :)

Disclaimer: I don't own R&I and the song.

Chapter 3

" So many questions but I don't ask why

Maybe someday but not tonight

Hush hush now"

~ Hush hush by Avril Lavigne

Maura and Jack had decided to go to the restaurant Maura had been wanting to go to, a charming little French restaurant near the BCU campus. They had been talking about it since last week and finally, they made it. She should have been glad and happy to be here with her boyfriend yet her heart felt empty and hollow. Throughout her and Jack's conversation, her mind had begun to drift away. From the new case to the push and pull relationship she has with Jane. And also to Jane alone. The detective had become predictably unpredictable.

Maura didn't have any idea how long she had been lost in her own thoughts until she felt a hand on hers giving it a squeeze. She looked up and she was met with dark brown eyes that belonged to Jack. Somehow she felt disappointed.

"Are you okay, Maura?" Jack asked, concerned about the behavior of his girlfriend.

Maura managed to give him a smile. "Yes, I'm sorry. I just drifted off."

"Are you in Dr. Maura Isles mode already?" Jack smiled.

"Not really. But yes, I was thinking about the case," Maura said as she pulled her hand back.

"And Jane?"

Maura frowned. "What about Jane?"

"Well, she's seemed off lately. She doesn't spend much time with us. Even missed the Rizzoli Sunday dinner last Sunday," Jack said.

Maura sighed. Her eyes suddenly saddened. "She's busy with the new case. They have nothing to go on. Even in the forensic lab, we have no solid evidence to give them to proceed."

Jack gave Maura a reassuring smile. "You'll break the case. You and Jane are a great team."

"I really hope so."

Jack reached for her hand again then kissed it. In the past, Maura found the gesture to be endearing and sweet. Now, she didn't know exactly what she felt. Yes, it was sweet but the butterflies in her stomach were not there anymore. She didn't feel giddy anymore like those first months that they were together.

"Everything will be fine, Maura. You have a great mind. I know you'll find something to help solve that case."

Maura smiled. "Thank you, Jack."

"Anything for you." He kissed her hand again before letting it go and going back to his food again. "So, do you have plans this weekend?"

"The weekend? Hmm, let me think." Maura paused. "I don't think I have any obligations. It's my off weekend but I am on call. Why do you ask?"

"Great. So you can come with me to watch Allie play soccer!"

"She has a game?"

"Yes. And she specifically asked me to bring you."

"Wow," was the only word Maura could mutter.

"She likes you, you know. From the moment she met you. She really thinks you're cool and she can relate to you. I don't know how but that's what she said." Jack smiled.

Maura smiled back. She started thinking about the offer. Before whenever Jack had asked her to come with him to any event, she didn't even hesitate. She always said yes and made time for him and it felt great. But nowadays, she felt going out with him was more of an obligation. Yes, she usually had a great time, Jack always made sure of it, but there's always been a constant nagging inside her head that what she was doing was not right. And she was having trouble making a decision right now because she was busy wondering if she and Jane had made plans this coming weekend.

Jane.

Her predictably unpredictable detective.

"So? What do you think?" Jack prompted when Maura did not respond.

Maura met his gaze, and there was that hopeful look in his eyes. And she found she was not able to deny that. "Sure. But I must remind you, I'm on call that day. So if anything comes up. I'll have to leave."

Jack's smile widened. "Let's just hope that killers won't go mad that day so they won't kill anyone."

Maura just chuckled.

"And by the way, Allie's mother is picking her up Saturday night. Maybe we can spend quality alone time together then?" Jack waggled his eyebrows. Maura just smiled at him.

Jane and Korsak had been staring at the murder board for about thirty minutes now. And just like earlier that morning, they still couldn't put the puzzle pieces together. There was a little girl lying on the ground covered in blood with a single shot to the head. But nobody seemed to know anything about it. It seemed as though she had just dropped dead. It could've been a sniper where no CCTV covered. It could be a long shot from any angle of the street. And strangest of all, no parents had claimed her or reported her missing after forty-eight hours of being missing.

"Damn it! No one reported her missing. No one's claiming her. She has to have parents!" Jane exclaimed.

"We don't know that, Jane. We haven't found them yet." Korsak countered.

"What am I missing? The CCTV footage wasn't helpful. What am I not seeing that I need to see?"

"I don't know, Jane. This case is incredibly frustrating. I just hope Maura has something for us."

And as if on cue, Maura entered the bullpen holding a folder. "It's a polyester fiber we found in her lungs," Maura said. Both Jane and Korsak turned their head towards her.

"Is that the lab results?" Jane asked.

"Yes." Maura handed Jane the folder. As Jane read the report, Maura fixed her gaze on the murder board. "Did you identify the boy who called 911, yet?"

"No. His voice didn't match anyone in our database. The boy could be a street kid with no records," Korsak replied.

"We haven't got anything on the victim, yet. We found white grains inside her stomach. The lab is processing them now."

"So you're saying that the fiber was inhaled hours before she was killed?" Jane interrupted, not looking at Maura.

"Yes, the fiber had not been in her lungs for an extended time. Based on the condition it was in, Lily must have inhaled it just before she was killed. We were able to narrow it down...the fiber was from a cheap throw cushion pillow." Maura answered.

Jane looked up from the folder then smirked at Maura. "You've deduced it to that level?"

Maura sheepishly smiled at Jane then shrugged. "It's what I do. I want you to catch the person responsible for Lily's death as much as you do. That's why I'm doing the best I can to find facts and evidence that might help you solve the case."

Jane softly smiled at Maura. Maura's breath hitched upon seeing that look on Jane's face. When was the last time her best friend had smiled at her like that? She couldn't even remember. They rarely threw each other smiles these past few days.

"Thank you, Maur," Jane said.

And there was that nickname that Jane used so endearingly. "It's my job, Jane. You don't have to thank me. I'm just trying to see it from every angle. I might have missed something." This caught Jane's attention. She suddenly remembered the conversation she had with Dinah about looking at every angle.

Jane nodded then turned towards Korsak. "This could be a break, Korsak. You said her parents' business is the manufacturing of pillows and mattresses, right?"

"Yeah." Korsak went back to his computer then started typing.

"Ah, Jane?" Maura spoke. Jane looked back at her in question. "I'll just be down in my office if you need something. I'll let you know about the tox results on the white grains I found as soon as I get it."

Jane nodded then smiled softly at Maura again. "Thanks."

Maura hurried off to the elevator. Once secured inside, she let out a sigh she didn't know she'd been holding. There was that push and pull from Jane again. And it was really frustrating her.

Jane and Korsak were met by a young blonde receptionist at Sullivan's factory. She appeared to be in her mid-twenties with blue eyes and a gentle smile.

Jane and Korsak approached the desk, "Hi, my name is Detective Jane Rizzoli, Boston Homicide. And this is Sergeant Detective Korsak." Jane gestured to Korsak. The look on the young woman's face changed to concern upon hearing the word homicide.

"What can I do for you?"

"You weren't here five days ago..." Jane said.

The young woman nodded. "Yes, it was my day off. I heard about what happened to Lily. She's a sweet kid."

"We may have a follow-up question for you if you don't mind?" Korsak piped up.

"Okay," the receptionist replied, "My name is Amanda by the way."

"Okay, Amanda. Have Lily's parents showed up? Did they come here by chance?" Jane quickly asked.

Amanda shook her head. "No. Mr. Sullivan's partner Mr. James is already worried about them. He already filed a missing person report."

"Were you here six days ago? The day Lily was killed? Were you the one attending as a receptionist?" Jane did not hesitate to ask.

"Yes. I was the attending receptionist at that time. That was also the last time I saw the family before they went missing and Lily was killed. They were heading out on a vacation to Maine. But Mr. Sullivan wanted to check everything before they left so they came here first. They went to the operation side of the factory." Amanda told them.

"And Lily? Was she with them?" Korsak asked.

"Yes. She was with them. It was odd actually. Whenever they do visit, Lily always stays here. That was the first time they took her with them. And that day, they didn't seem to be the happy family they usually were."

Jane quirked an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Amanda sighed. "They're a happy family. Usually, a picture of a perfectly happy family. But that day when they came here, Mrs. Sullivan looked upset, Mr. Sullivan looked angry and Lily looked worried. They didn't even greet me, they just went into the operations room."

"Mr. James was here that day, too, right?"

"Yes. He was here."

"Did you know if they talked?" Jane asked.

"Jane, where are you going with this? Mr. James already told us they talked before the family left." Korsak asked.

"I know." Jane caught his eye but quickly focused back on Amanda. "So, do you know if they talked."

"I don't know. Maybe. They have a small office inside operations. That's where they usually work together. So, maybe?"

"Do you have CCTV inside operations?"

Amanda nodded. "Yes. But I cannot give them to you."

"I know. Protocol." Jane offered.

"Look, it is tragic what happened to Lily. I hope you find her killer. She was a sweet kid. She didn't deserve this. And I'll call you when her parents come back." Amanda said.

"Last question. Do you know where in Maine they're going on vacation?" Jane asked.

"No."

Jane sighed. "Okay. Call us if you think of anything."

"I will."

Maura was reading a medical journal on her laptop when Jane slumped onto the couch in her office. The detective looked exhausted like she hadn't slept for days. That couldn't be true, could it?

"You look tired," Maura said. She closed her laptop then went to sit beside Jane.

"Can I just be a unicorn?" Jane faced Maura.

Maura raised an eyebrow. "A unicorn? I believe that's a mystical, mythical creature that doesn't really exist."

"How do you know?"

"Jane, it's just a creation of people's imagination," Maura replied literally.

Jane chuckled lowly. "Can't you work with me? Let me be a child for a little while."

Maura shrugged. "Okay, but why a unicorn?"

"Because their lives are awesome. And mine right now sucks," Jane said, defeated.

Maura grabbed a pillow and placed it on her lap. She gestured for Jane to lay her head on the pillow but Jane just looked at her. Sure, they'd never done anything like that before but just because generally didn't interact that way.

"Let me help you work out the tension in your body," Maura said. Jane's eyes widened and Maura's cheeks flushed. "That didn't come out right. I'm just going to rub your head. Come on, lie down."

Jane did as she was told. Maura started massaging Jane's head. Jane closed her eyes and let herself relax for once. Truly, Maura had magical hands and Jane was reduced to mush yet had shivers that ran down her spine.

"You're amazing, Maur," Jane whispered, eyes closed.

Maura smiled at Jane though the detective couldn't see it. "There is so much tension in your muscles. You need a release. And one of the best ways to release it is..."

"Stop," Jane said as she opened one eye. "We will not talk casually about sex. I know that's where you're headed. And I'm telling you, that's not the solution. So don't push it."

Maura chuckled. "You sound like a teenager who just heard the word 'sex' for the first time."

Jane rolled her eyes then closed them again. "Just keep doing what you're doing. It feels nice."

Maura continued massaging Jane's head thinking it was really nice to have this kind of intimacy with her best friend. Jane's face looked so serene and Maura felt almost giddy inside. She was starting to wonder why she suddenly felt this way. There had been moments when they were this close but it never caused this kind of feeling. A feeling of wanting...wanting to be close to her and just feeling her. When Maura accidentally brushed the lower part of Jane's earlobe, she felt the detective stiffen though her eyes didn't open. She just laid there still.

"Jane?"

"Hmm?"

"Where did you go for lunch?" Maura asked curiously.

Jane opened her eyes and she found a pair of hazel ones staring down at her. They were locked in each other's gaze. "Boston Common."

"Why didn't you come with us? I wanted you to try that restaurant, too." Maura said softly.

Jane stared at the ceiling this time as she shrugged. "I don't want to intrude on your date."

"It wasn't really a date." Maura countered.

Jane quirked an eyebrow. "Really? What do you call it then?"

"Lunch out."

"Lunch out...with a boyfriend. So totally a date. I don't wanna be a third wheel, Maura." Jane didn't mean to say it. But there was no going back. It was done.

Maura masked the hurt she felt at Jane's words by looking away. "So you're saying we don't get to spend time together? The three of us, I mean? Do I have to choose between you two?"

Jane suddenly sat up and faced Maura. "You don't have to choose, Maur. You spend time with him. You spend time with me. God, we've been spending a lot of time here at work. You don't need to choose."

"But that's how I feel. I feel like I need to choose between the two of you. Balance whom I spend time with and how much." Maura said softly as she looked down.

Jane grabbed both her hands and squeezed. "He should be your priority. He's your boyfriend, your future." She whispered the last part.

"And you are my best friend. You're my priority, too. As much as I want to spend time with him, I want to spend time with you, too." Maura said, her head still bowed down.

Jane fell silent, just watching Maura. True, they didn't get to spend so much time together outside work because of several circumstances. First, Jane spent most of her time at work. Especially now with their latest case. Second, she always managed to decline Maura's invitations. Third, she had stopped inviting Maura to go out. Everything she was doing was so Maura could spend more time with Jack. It was the right thing to do, so she thought. She just didn't realize she had this kind of impact on Maura. Somehow, Maura had missed her presence, too.

Jane didn't have any idea how long she had been holding Maura's hands. All she knew is that neither had spoken after that confession. Maura was still looking down and Jane couldn't bear the silence and the sight anymore. She let go of Maura's hands, cupped the doctor's cheeks and held her face up so their eyes would meet. And there, she found unshed tears, Jane's heart broke. It was not supposed to be this way. Maura should always be happy and Jane had this need to make sure of it every day.

Every. Day.

It's not like they were gonna spend every day for the rest of their lives together. There's no way that would happen. But it felt warm and nice when Jane thought about it. It just...it just wouldn't.

"Hey," Jane softly spoke. "What do you say we go somewhere this coming weekend? It's your weekend off right?" Jane smiled, then saw the panicked expression on Maura's face.

"I...I can't, Jane." Maura said disappointment coloring her tone.

"You already got plans?" Jane asked though the answer was obvious. She tried to hide the hurt and disappointment that she knew would be visible in her eyes.

Maura slowly nodded. "Jack asked me to come to his daughter's game and I said yes."

Jane dropped her hands from Maura's cheeks. Maura immediately missed the warm contact. Here was Jane trying to patch some things up with Maura and make her smile by inviting her to do something together. But yet again, Jack managed to beat her to it. This was one of the reasons why Jane stopped inviting Maura. Jack always seemed to already have plans with Maura in place.

"Oh. It's okay. Maybe next time." Jane really tried not to let the cool tone and empty look show. But she was really struggling.

And Maura saw it. The struggle. The hurt. The disappointment. The cold expression. And surrender. All of those things, she saw in Jane's eyes. Years of being best friends with the detective were enough for the ME to be able to see how Jane really felt, tho Jane thought she was doing a good job masking her feelings. But the truth is, Maura could see through Jane's masks. She always had. And she was certain she always would.

"But maybe I can get away to spend some time after the game..." Maura trailed off.

"It's okay, Maura," Jane said dismissively. "We can do it some other time."

"But..."

"Rain check, Maura. There will be lots of opportunities. For now, spend the day with Jack and his daughter. It'll be good to get to know her, you know?" Jane smiled but she knew it didn't reach her eyes. And the icy tone made itself heard this time. "I need to get back upstairs. Homicide to solve." Jane stood up and made her way to the office door.

"Jane..." Maura called.

Jane looked back at Maura. "I'll see you around, Maura." She offered one last smile and left.

Maura let out a deep sigh. Her eyes were still fixed in the direction where Jane left. Her talk with her best friend didn't go completely well but at least she managed to share with the detective some of her thoughts. No matter how happy she was with Jack, she still needed her best friend by her side. Her best friend of all time. On the other hand, she wasn't sure it was healthy. Somehow, someday, they would probably both go their separate ways as they started to build their own families. The thought of being away from Jane made Maura's stomach drop. She knew separation was inevitable. They weren't an exception. But what surprised Maura was suddenly knowing that she would be devastated and lonely if they started going their separate ways. Reasonably, she knew she had Jack and he would never leave her. But she realized that that separation from Jane had already started a few months ago. If not physically, then at least, emotionally. She and Jane were emotionally separated already and Maura was wondering how it happened and when. All she knew for sure was that Jane easily withdrew herself from Maura in every circumstance. And what happened just a few minutes ago proved it.