CHAPTER SIXTEEN: Nighttime Reverie

Eyes opening slowly, Kate peers through the darkness, seeking out the dim glow of her alarm clock to check the time. Groggy, realizing its a little past two a.m., she closes her eyes again, snuggling back into the warm nest of covers, craving sleep. Curled up on her side, she feels the soft rasp of the sheet shifting against her skin, the light weight of the blankets cocooning her, a velvety soft barrier to the cold night air. Drifting, barely awake, the night sounds soothe her, lulling her back towards sleep.

Feeling more relaxed than she has in awhile, her body stills even as her thoughts won't be quelled, intruding on her peace. Slowly, she becomes aware of subtle differences in her bedroom. She's naked. And really warm. And snugged up tight against another naked body. A strong, muscular, familiar body. Tuning into her surroundings, her senses feed her information, telling her all is well in her world. She feels the rhythmic rise and fall of the chest behind her, his soft exhalations stirring the hair at the nape of her neck. The muscular arm draped over her hip lies next to her, the downy hair on the arm tickling her fingers even as the large hand rests relaxed, cupping her breast in sleep. Long, muscular legs tangle with hers, tucked in behind her knees, dwarfing her slender form.

Taking a deep breath, Kate inhales the familiar smell of Castle, combined with the musky odor of sex, a potent cocktail teasing her senses. Her nipple tightens reflexively as it rubs against the palm of his hand. Unable to stop herself, she snuggles more deeply into his embrace, his body automatically accommodating hers, even in sleep.

Content in a way she's never felt before, she lies there, spooning, as Rick sleeps quietly beside her. What is she going to do with this man? This kind, gentle, amazing man. Well, aside from the obvious, which she's been doing every chance she gets….A smile ghosts across her face, traces of satisfaction and something more softening her features.

Here, during the dark hours of the night, wrapped in his arms, she allows herself to think about a possible future with Rick. It's something she wants more than she ever thought possible. She still shies away from defining just what they have together. And she adamantly refuses to label her feelings for him. But they manifest themselves in small ways. A whisper. A touch. A smile. Small actions initiated by her that paint a clear picture that she's too close to clearly see. She's never allowed herself this type of intimacy before. In the past, she's always held a part of herself back, going through the motions of a relationship. Not any more. She finds it impossible to give anything less than all that she is.

And she always maintained a strict physical separation after sex, unable to sleep with someone else in her space, crowding her, smothering her. That's all changed. She doesn't find his presence cloying or unwelcome in any way.

She's changed. Tremendously. Reflecting back on the past few weeks, Kate admits that she likes this new and improved Kate Beckett. She feels so light and free. Quicker to laugh and joke. And touch. She finds satisfaction in everything, no matter how mundane and ordinary. Everything looks brighter, shinier, more interesting.

She never knew it could be this way. She never knew she could be this way. He pulls responses from her she didn't know she was capable of. And her heart jumps with joy whenever she's with him. She's got it bad.

He's amazing. Everything about him draws her in. His smile. His hands. That great butt. And his mind. Oh how she loves his mind. He has depths only hinted at before. It's like he carefully hid his deeper thoughts from her before. And now they spill out in the most simple of circumstances. Funny, thought-provoking, sometimes truly profound, he has a unique perspective that appeals to her.

She was always attracted to him physically. But he was so immature when they first met. But then she saw him with his family. He was so much more with them. And she started to look deeper and caught glimpses of something more. He had hidden depths. Substance. The longer they worked together, the more she realized the true nature of the man. Now, as she gets to know him outside the precinct, in a far more personal way, she realizes how much of himself he conceals behind the façade. Except now he's letting her see it. More and more frequently, he lets his guard down. And so does she.

Feelings rush through her, tripping and tumbling around in her mind, bringing forth a secret smile as she thinks of all the ways they work well together. But there's a small, very hidden part of her that can't help but worry that it's all going to be yanked out from under her with a careless word or thoughtless act. That fear lives deep in the heart of her insecurity, whispering and teasing that she doesn't deserve him. That he'll leave her too.

But. He says all the right things. He wants to spend all of his time with her. He is so attentive when they're together. And he can't keep his hands off her. But what does it all mean? How does he really feel? She's never known him to last in any of his relationships. He chased her for so long before she gave in. Now she can't help but wonder if he's going to get tired of her soon once the thrill of the chase subsides. She fears it, that inevitable change that will occur as time goes by.

What they have burns hot. After denying themselves for so long she thinks it'll have to cool down soon. Won't it? Will it burn out? Is that their future? Does she want it to be? Or does she want to try for something more?

Her heart races at the thought of losing him. There has to be more. She needs it to be more. She's not ready for this to end. Struck by the realization, she tenses, shutting down her thoughts, unwilling to imagine what that could look like, afraid to hope for that future. With him.

Taking a deep breath, she tries to relax, seeking that feeling of peace she had when she first awoke. Focusing on her breathing, she calms herself. One day at a time. She can do this. One day at a time.

Glancing over at the clock again, she realizes she's been lost in thought for at least 45 minutes. Mentally chastising herself, she knows she's going to pay for this in the morning if she doesn't get some sleep. Smiling, knowing just what she needs, she tightens her hand over his, bringing it more firmly around her breast, pulling him closer to her body. Pushing back against him, she wiggles her hips and feels him respond, his growing erection swelling against her.

Her body is already primed. It's been prepping itself for their inevitable coupling while her mind wandered. It's always like this now. She hears his voice and her stomach clenches. He walks into a room and her knees get weak. She's perpetually wet and ready for him. Her mind thinks of him a million times a day and her eyes are drawn to him, constantly, mentally stripping him, anticipating all the ways they can explore and satisfy each other. If she didn't have so much practice hiding herself from the world it would be obvious to those around her. But they aren't surrounded by others right now.

Anticipation thrumming through her, she nudges him. She feels the subtle shift in his breathing, the tightening of his arm around her, the reflexive squeeze of his hand over her breast even as she continues to move in tight little circles against him, the hard length of him pressing hotly between her legs.

He's awake. Oh, he's definitely awake. The feel of his hot mouth closing over her skin, sucking gently on that spot on her neck causes shivers to run down her spine, her body automatically pushing against his, legs adjusting her position to permit him entrance into her body. Without a word, he enters her from behind, sliding between her wet folds, burying himself deep inside of her.

A low moan spills out of her, the feel of him sliding slowly into her, his thick length filling her fully causing her body to clench down tightly around him.

"Kate, love…" he whispers, groaning in response to the feel of her velvety muscles clenching him, every inch of him caressed and held within the strength of her body.

Slowly, certainly, he moves inside of her, one hand coming around and seeking out the tight bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs. Unerringly he finds it, circling it gently, languidly with his finger, a slow, sleepy rhythm that causes her body to slowly build towards its climax, every nerve and synapse firing in response to the sound and feel of him around her and in her.

Incoherent sighs and moans fill the room, the slide of sheets and whisper of skin on skin creating a nighttime symphony, beautiful and perfect in its own way.

All thoughts flee from Kate's head. There's only the feel of her lover moving inside of her, his hands caressing her, bringing her to greater and greater heights. Mindless, she follows his lead, giving herself over to everything flowing through her.

"Love me, Castle…" she whispers, unaware the words have escaped even as she feels her body clench in ecstasy, the feelings he inspires overwhelming her yet again, her body responding to the call of his.

Caught up in the perfection of the moment, his heart clenches and he feels the tears building behind his eyes, as he loses himself in her, showing her in every way he knows how that he loves her.

And even if they can't say the words, they both know. She's his, in every way that matters.