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Chapter 10

"Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes

But it's the only thing that I know"

~ Photograph by Ed Sheeran

Maura was watching the three batting balls in the batting cage. After several turns of batting, she grew tired so she decided to take a break and sat on one of the benches as she watched the three battled each other. And as expected, Jane was leading points followed by Jack, then Drew. She didn't talk much that night, not because she isn't interested in baseball because it wasn't her choice of sport. Hell, she became interested in baseball because of Jane Rizzoli. The reason why she didn't exchange that much with them was that her mind is still plagued with thoughts of the event that occurred last night and the realization she had after analyzing everything. If they noticed that she isn't that enthusiastic, they didn't comment on it and let her be. After all, this is the last night of Drew in Boston so everything should be memorable and fun.

She watched them swung bats one after another when she noticed from the corner of her eyes an approaching figure. She looked up and saw Drew coming her way. He was smiling down at her and being polite as she was, though she didn't really want to, she returned the smile full force.

"Hey," He greeted as he stood in front of her.

"Hey. You got tired?"

"Yes. Mind if I join you?" He asked.

Maura moved a little to the side to offer space to Drew. "Not at all."

He sat beside Maura and joined her watching Jack and Jane continued batting balls. The two don't seem to get tired. They were like arch enemies trying to win a trophy and trying to up the other. But of course, nothing and no one could beat Jane.

"So, you're Jane's best friend?" Drew looked smiling at Maura. Maura just nodded. "How long have you been two best friends?"

"Ah, six years. We've been friends for six years," Maura replied and returned Drew's smile.

Drew nodded. "You must be a special one."

Maura frowned at the response. "Why would you say that?"

"When Jane and I were young, she doesn't really like to be friends with the girls in our neighborhood, most of her playmates were boys, maybe that's why she's a little rough and brusque." Drew focused back on Maura. "She always says that the girls are too bitchy and they were annoying her. They always make things complicated when it shouldn't be. That's why she always sticks with us boys. She had few girlfriends but none of them lasted as long as you."

"Oh." Was the only word Maura could utter.

"That's Jane for you. But she's a keeper. If she finds you worth having, she will make sure she will treasure you for the rest of her life. And I could say that she treasures you that much." Drew said and looked back at Jane and Jack playing.

Maura studied the man sitting beside her. He has the very attractive physique, alright. Anyone could fall for him. He's sweet and kind. Some of the traits that a woman would be looking for a man. He has a good education background, well off, sophisticated and, successful in life. He is as almost as perfect as Jack as he is for her. Jane would be fine with him. But the thought made her stomach tightened.

"Do you like her?" Maura found herself asking.

Once again, Drew looked back at Maura but this time it's with a raised eyebrow and a knowing smile. "Jane? Yes of course. That's Jane Rizzoli we're talking about. I had a huge crush on her when we were young. I admire her for her bravery, perseverance, determination, and loyalty. I know she isn't that soft and warm like any other woman, but when she does show it, you'll know it's true. It's genuine."

Maura nodded. A lump in her throat was formed and she swallowed hard. "You've been friends with her and I know you know her that much so I won't give you the 'don't hurt my best friend or I'll kill you' speech when you start dating her," Maura said seriously. Protectiveness and firmness are visible in her eyes.

Drew was amused. He narrowed his eyes as he chuckled. "Date? You mean, you're expecting me to date her?"

"Yeah. That's what I'm saying."

"I like Jane, alright. But not in the sense of wanting to date her and all. I hope it won't be offensive to her. She's wonderful and pretty but I know there's someone out there that is meant for her. She doesn't see it, yet. That's the problem with her. Sometimes, because of her stubbornness, it has to take something or someone for her to see what is rightfully hers. And you as her best friend, I hope you help her see it." He smiled genuinely at her. Maura didn't get to respond when she felt another presence standing in front of her.

"You guys doing okay here?" Jane asked with a raised eyebrow. She shifted her gaze to Drew and Maura.

Drew smiled knowingly at Jane. "Yeah, we're just talking."

Jane fixed her gaze at Drew and noticed the meaningful smile plastered on his face. Suddenly, she remembered the small talk they shared at the cab last night and cold blood ran through her veins out of nervousness.

"He's not harassing you or something, right, Maur?" She asked though there was a hint of fear in her voice. Of course, Drew noticed it. He knew Jane's discomfort.

Maura smiled at her then shook her head. "We were just talking about you."

This time, Jane raised an eyebrow. "Me, huh? Should I be bothered?"

"Not at all, Jane. It was all good," Drew answered.

"It better be or you won't be leaving Boston tomorrow morning. You'll be lying on Maura's table instead." Jane joked. "You'll tell me if he's lying, right, Maur?"

"He's not lying Jane," Maura confirmed.

Then they heard Jack calling Jane's name, demanding a rematch. It turned out that Jane beat Jack up by ten points. "This boyfriend of yours doesn't seem to get tired," Jane said to Maura who didn't respond.

"Did you beat him?" Drew asked.

"Yeah. By ten points," Jane replied. Then she was being called by Jack again. "Gotta go."

"Goodluck Jane," Maura said with a smile. Jane frowned at her and went to his opponent.

They finally left the batting cage after ten rounds of play by Jane and Jack. Rematch after rematch and at the end, Jane still won. And Jack was frustrated about his loss. He tried very hard to beat Jane on their last play but he still lost. After that, they went to the Dirty Robber to eat burgers and have a couple of drinks. And against their wishes, Maura made them eat green salad to counter the unhealthy food they were taking in. They refused at first of course, but when she started spouting facts, research, and studies, they finally submitted to her request. Maura was glad for it. They talked more and soon it was time to go. They stood outside the Dirty Robber to bid each other farewell.

"It was really nice to know you, Jack, Maura," Drew smiled at them.

"You should visit some other time again. So we could hang out more," Maura offered.

"We'll see to that. I'm looking forward to hanging out with you again. But goodbye for now."

"Have a safe trip," Jack said.

Drew turned to Jane beside him. "Jane, walk me to the cab?"

Jane rolled her eyes. "What are you? A lady?" She joked.

Drew clutched Jane's arm as they both walked towards the cab. They stopped when they already a little far from Maura and Jack and in front of the cab. Drew looked seriously at Jane.

"I hope you think about what I said last night," He said.

"Don't start with that, Drew. I mean it," Jane said softly though sharply.

"I mean it, too, Jane. I'm still wondering why she isn't with you. Not that I have something against her boyfriend. But I think you're way better than him."

"You don't know that. It was just a couple of days that you met Maura. And you don't know much about our friendship," Jane countered.

"You're right about that. But I know love when I see one," He winked.

"Fuck it, Drew," Jane said through gritted teeth.

Drew chuckled. "Now, don't fight it, Jane." He gathered her into his arms. "It's really nice to see you again, Jane. Now, I hope that the next time I come here, it'll be your and the doctor's wedding."

Jane punched him lightly but relaxed in the embrace. "You have a safe trip. I'm sorry I couldn't bring you to the airport tomorrow."

"It's okay," He pulled away and smiled brightly at her. "Bye, Jane."

Jane watched the cab go as her mind started processing what Drew said. Could it be that she's in love with Maura? She sighed as no answer came into her mind. She looked towards where Jack and Maura are but noticed that it was only Maura standing there alone. She frowned then walked towards her best friend.

"Hey," She greeted as she stood beside Maura.

Maura looked up at her and offered a small smile. "Hey."

"Where's Jack?"

"He went home already. He said Allie's mother will be bringing her in his house."

"You didn't go with him?" She asked stating the obvious.

"I have to go home. I have to pack."

Jane frowned. "Pack?"

"Yeah. I'm leaving for Quantico tomorrow afternoon. The medical examiners will be having a conference. I was invited."

"Oh, is that the reason why I didn't see you in the office the whole day?"

Maura smiled. "Yeah. I have to process some things. I'll come home on Sunday."

"How are you going to go home now?"

"I'll take a cab. I was just waiting for you to say bye and goodnight."

Jane looked at her softly. "Come on, I'll take you home."

"Jane..."

"I know what you're gonna say. And I'm saying that I'm taking you home," Jane grabbed Maura's hand and guided her towards her car. Neither seemed to want to comment in their clasped hands.

They didn't talk during the ride back to Beacon Hill. They just drove in a comfortable silence they perfected for years. Both processing things and alone with their own thought. They didn't want to voice it out. As soon as they reached Maura's house, Jane grabbed a bottle of wine and a beer while Maura grabbed a glass for the wine and they both headed off to Maura's bedroom.

Jane sipped on her beer as she watched Maura pack her things inside her luggage. "So, you'll be gone in two days?"

"Yes. I'll probably be here for lunch on Sunday."

"Nice. So you can still join the dinner," Jane said as she sipped on her beer again. Jane noticed Maura was quiet even during their play in the batting cage and in the Dirty Robber. She seemed off. Something's bothering her. Jane wanted to ask her what the problem is but since she's occupied with thoughts of what Drew told her, she didn't ask. She just let Maura deal on whatever is going on inside her head.

"So, is Jack bringing you to the airport tomorrow?"

"No. He's busy."

"Do you want me to bring you to the airport tomorrow?" Well done Rizzoli, you can't bring Drew to the airport tomorrow morning but you're willing to take the afternoon off so you can drive Maura to the airport. You're just proving what Drew told you.

Maura shook her head. "No. I can handle myself."

Maura continued packing while Jane studied her best friend with a beer in her hand. There was really something off with the doctor. She seemed detached. Jane could say that Maura's head was gearing with some thoughts. But then again, Jane couldn't seem to ask her the right question. She's been dying to know whatever on Maura's head, but she couldn't form a word.

"Drew seems nice," It was Maura who finally breaks the silence.

"Yes, he is."

"You two are a perfect fit," Maura muttered and smiled weakly at Jane.

Jane looked at her with curious eyes. Silenced filled them. Maura finished what she was doing while Jane just observed her. Finally done with the packing, Maura sat beside Jane not a little too close and not a little too far. She looked up and met the detective's intense gaze.

"Remember the time I said that there's no Mr. Right for me?" Maura asked.

"Yeah, that was the time you met Jack and sent you weird flowers for the first time," Jane answered as Maura smiled at her.

"You said I have to give him a chance and myself to this so-called love and relationship. You said you saw me swooning over him." Maura's eyes started to brim with tears. All the frustration and pent-up emotions finally caught up with her.

Jane was surprised at what happened. She moved forward upon seeing Maura was about to cry. "Maura... what's happening?"

"I believed you, Jane." A streak of tears finally fell from Maura's eyes. Jane's heart ached at the sight but she didn't know what to do either at that moment. "I even followed your advice not to overdo it and be wordy when talking to him. I tried to be less of me so he won't get turned off to me."

"Maura..." Putting the beer bottle on the floor, Jane grabbed Maura's both hands, afraid that she would be shrugged off but the anticipated response didn't happen. "Why are you crying?"

"I believed you, Jane. You supported me throughout our relationship. But why is this happening to us? Why did we become so distant?" Another wave of tears flowed down her cheeks. She finally let everything out.

"Maura..." Jane made a move as she gathered the petite woman in her arms. Jane rubbed Maura's back up and down. Her own eyes brimming with tears. She knows they will come to this point. Maura will confront her. She will demand answers and she won't have any escape from it. It's just, she didn't expect it to happen now when her head is still running with wild thoughts.

"I'm confused, Jane," Maura mumbled against her neck. Jane felt shivers down her spine when she felt Maura's hot breath against her neck.

"What are you confused about?" Jane asked softly.

"Jack. You. You confuse me, Jane. You both confuse me."

Jane slowly detached herself from the embrace so she could look into Maura's eyes. What she saw broke her heart. Maura's hurting. Jane cupped Maura's cheeks and wiped her tears away with both her thumbs as if the gesture will keep the pain away.

"Tell me. Tell me what's going on, Maur."

"You were so supportive," Maura sobbed. "You always pushed me to be a better girlfriend for him. You always tell me that he's my future. And yet, you became so distant. We weren't like we used to before. And it's hurting me, Jane. It's hurting me so badly. What is happening to us?"

"Sshh... Maur," Jane's tears finally made itself known when they rolled down her cheeks.

"Is it because of Jack?"

Jane closed her eyes. She felt her heart skipped a beat. Still cupping Maura's cheeks, she leaned forward and kissed the doctor's forehead then pressed their foreheads together, eyes still closed.

"I'm right, am I?"

Jane nodded slowly since there's no point in hiding the truth from the doctor. Now that Maura is spilling her guts, it's just fair to tell her the truth. She opened her eyes and found Maura's gazing lovingly at her with a hint of pain and sadness in her hazel eyes.

"You were so happy, Maura. You were so happy I couldn't afford to be the reason for your misery. Yes, I was supportive and I was really happy for you and Jack until I felt this weird thing inside of me. I thought it was just a phase. That I will get through it without letting you know. But it kept on getting stronger every day. I thought I could handle it but I realized I'm slowly dying inside," She paused as she choked on her sobs. "Then when I finally figured it out, I realized I'm slowly losing you. And I just let it happen. I was jealous Maura. I was jealous of all the attention and time you were giving him." Jane's tears continued flowing as well as Maura's.

"Why didn't you tell me, Jane? Why did we let this happen? Why did I let this happen?"

"Because I know you'll leave everything behind to put up with me. He's the best chance you have in a normal life. Away from danger. You have a chance in better life, Maur."

"You know I won't leave you behind. You are my best friend. You are my family. You're my business remember?" Jane just nodded.

Jane wiped Maura's tears with her thumb again then moved it to graze the blonde's lips. Maura leaned on the touch as she closed her eyes. "I don't know what I'm feeling, Maur. I'm confused, too. I'm sorry this happened."

This time, Maura was the one who cupped Jane's cheeks and wiped the detective's tears away. "I'm sorry, too. I let this happen, too. I was so focused on Jack I didn't see you struggling. I didn't see you suffer. I didn't see your pain."

"Ssh. We let this happen," Jane said. Their faces are close. So close that if they lean in, their lips would touch.

"What is this I'm feeling, Jane? Why does it suddenly felt wrong to have a relationship with Jack? Why do I feel like I don't know what I want anymore?"

"I don't know, Maur. I wish I could give you an answer. Drew said, he saw love in us. But I don't know."

Maura sighed softly. "I guess having this conference is like a blessing in disguise. I'll be gone for two days. That way, we can both think whatever this is."

"I guess you're right."

They fell silent for a while. Neither wanted to speak and break the moment. They just held each other's gaze as they tried to feel each other's heart and read each other's mind. Jane was the one to break the contact as she slowly detached herself and dropped her hands to the side. Maura did the same and they both felt empty when the contact was lost.

"I should get going." Jane stood up.

"I'll be home on Sunday."

"I'll be waiting."

And Jane left.