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Chapter 14

" I'm like a statue, stuck staring right at you

Got me frozen in my tracks, so amazed how you take me back

Each in every time our love collapse

Statue, stuck staring right at you

So when I'm lost for words every time I disappoint you

It's just 'cause I can't believe that you're so beautiful

Don't wanna lose you, no."

~ Status by Lil Eddie

"This is me Dr. Maura Isles saying that I'm choosing you Detective Jane Rizzoli over him. Over everything."

No words came out of Jane's mouth after Maura's confession. She sat frozen on her spot. And what she did next took both of them aback. Jane pulled Maura in a long kiss. She wanted to feel that softness again. She wanted to feel that warmness from Maura's lips again. She never kissed a woman before and Maura is the first. But everything felt right and perfect for her when her lips touched Maura's. And when their tongues met for the first time, they both felt electrified. Their lips moved in synchronization like they were doing this for a long time. Maura moved one hand in the back of Jane's neck and pulled the detective even closer to her. Jane tightened her embrace as their bodies flushed together. As they continued kissing, series of moans filled the silent room. Jane took her time kissing Maura, relishing the feeling, savoring the taste of her best friend's lips like she couldn't get enough of it. And as for Maura, she also couldn't get enough of it. She wanted to kiss Jane more and more as if her life depended on it.

But when they finally needed air to breathe, they parted and pressed their foreheads together. Chest heaving. Both breathing hard. Their eyes locked on each other, communicating in silence like what they're doing since the beginning of their friendship.

"Wow," Maura finally said.

Jane chuckled then turned serious. "What are we doing, Maur?"

Maura sighed, eyes downcast. "I don't know either, Jane."

"How can something so wrong feels so right all along?"

"Is this wrong, Jane?" Her eyes are questioning. But she's aware her heart is screaming no. No, it wasn't wrong. But the situation is.

Jane stared at her eyes, looking for something she couldn't quite place. Then she leaned forward and kissed Maura's forehead, then to her nose. "It feels right."

"What does this mean for us, Jane? I've never done this before," Maura's eyes are pleading with answers.

"Neither did I. What can you say if we figure this out together?" She smiled at her best friend as she tucked strands of blonde hair behind the doctor's ears.

Maura smiled back and nodded. "Like we always do."

Jane gathered Maura in her arms as the doctor sat on her lap. Jane rested her chin on Maura's forehead and kissed it while Maura rested her head on Jane's chest. Maura was already contented listening to the calm heartbeat of Jane. Jane was contented stroking Maura's blonde locks. They both felt safe. They both felt contented with each other as it seems that no one or nothing can penetrate the small bubble around themselves.

"Maur?"

"Hmm?"

"What about Jack?"

Maura tensed at first then relaxed immediately as she let out a soft sigh. "He wanted me to be happy."

Flashback

Earlier...

Jane left Maura's house without looking at any of the people inside the room. All eyes were on her. Maura was torn between staying in and running after the detective until Jack talked again that glued her to her spot. She has a question to answer. A question that's answerable by yes or no. And Jack is waiting for her patiently. She didn't know what the correct answer is. But, is there really a correct answer to the question? Either answer she gives, there will be one person to get hurt. There will always be one. If she says no, Jack will be devastated and she will be unfair because she didn't love Jack to the point of wanting to settle with him. No. She thought about that when she was away. Yes, she did love Jack. But she didn't love him to the extent where she could see herself marrying him. But she must admit, he's a perfect catch and there's a possibility that she won't see another person like him. But what the hell? She would rather stay single than marry someone and regret it in the end. And then there's the other answer. If she says yes, Jane will be hurt. And she would be unfair to herself because she's aware of the shift of feelings she has for Jane. And now the time is ticking. Her heart hammering. She needs to answer now. Yes or no. Jack or Jane. When Maura looked at Jack, she knew he understood.

"Jack? Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?" Maura finally let it out. Both Angela and Frankie took this as a cue to leave the two lovers alone and excused themselves to the guest house.

As if he was kneeling on the floor for so long, Jack stood up and clutched the velvet box against his palm. He knew what was coming next. "Do you uh want to sit?" Maura just nodded.

Once seated on the couch, Jack faced Maura who is currently looking ahead, not wanting to meet Jack's eyes. "Maura?"

The doctor suddenly sobbed. Her heart was too heavy with emotions, she couldn't take it anymore. She was torn on what she should do. And this is so not her. She's a woman with full of answers. Calm and collected. She's always in control of everything around her. But now? She's a mess with nothing to say. The calm and collected Dr. Maura Isles left her body.

Jack reached out and held Maura's hands and squeezed it lightly. "Hey, why are you crying? Did I do something wrong?"

Maura shook her head violently and wiped her tears away. "That's the problem. You didn't do anything wrong but why am I feeling this way?"

Jack frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I love you, Jack. You know I do."

Jack waited for Maura to continue but nothing came. He sighed. "I'm sensing there is a but?"

Maura nodded. "But I don't love you enough to marry you. I'm so sorry," Maura sobbed again.

It was painful. It was painful for him to hear the love of his life saying that she couldn't marry him. It was too painful when you finally thought you found the one person you wanted to spend the rest of your life, she will reject you. But what could he do?

He gathered him into his arms and drew circles on her back. "Hey, don't cry. I hate seeing you cry."

"Why are you so good to me? You should be mad at me."

Jack shook his head. "I can't. You know I can't."

"Why?" Maura's voice cracked.

"Because I love you. And you're so brave enough for me to tell me this. And I want you to be happy."

Maura's body was shaking through her cries. "I'm so sorry."

"Do you know why I couldn't fit in your heart?" Jack asked. Maura shook her head. "Because someone else is already occupying it. That person has the biggest part of your heart. Maybe you didn't notice it but it was there. I know it. I can feel it. I can see it. You love that person very much and I was just a fool for trying I could replace that person."

"What are you talking about, Jack? What did you see that I didn't?"

Jack shook his head. "I'm sure you're aware who that person I'm talking about. But if you haven't realized something you both have, my advice is to sit and think then talk to her."

Maura stiffened at the pronoun used. She extracted herself from Jack and looked at him. Surprisingly, he was smiling at her. "What?"

"I think I told you I'm sure you're aware who that person I'm talking about."

Silence.

"I better go." Jack stood up and didn't wait for Maura to respond as he left her in her house with a heavy and relieved heart.

Jane doesn't know how long she had been holding Maura against her body and rubbing circles on the doctor's back until she felt the other woman's soft breathing. She looked down and fond Maura asleep. She looked peaceful but tired maybe because of the flight back she had, or all the drama thrown all over them, or the heartfelt confessions from both of them, or maybe because of the mix of the three. She smiled seeing her best friend this vulnerable but still elegant at the same time. And as far as she remembers, she never held Maura this tight before and she must admit, it feels great. It feels good to have her in her arms. Sighing, and not wanting to wake the doctor up so they can move to the bedroom, she pulled the blanket over them, slowly lying on the couch with Maura slightly on top of her.

Jane instead of rubbing circles on Maura's back, began stroking the doctor's hair. She looked down and noticed the dried tears on the other woman's face. She hated seeing her cry. Especially when she's the cause of it. She started thinking about how she can make up for it but found none in the end. And then, there's this newfound feeling they found for each other and it's freaking the hell out of her. She doesn't know how to make of it as well as she doesn't know what to do with it. But one thing is for sure. Jane would never run. Especially when it involves Maura. Her best friend. Her confidante. The one good thing that's ever happened in her life. No. She will never run away from Maura again.

Jane stared at Maura for God knows how long. Maura was clutching to her tightly as if her life depended on her. Jane leaned down and kissed the top of Maura's head lovingly.

"I promise, I'll fix this. I promise," Jane mumbled as she closed her eyes and let herself falls asleep.

Maura felt sore the following morning. When her eyes fluttered open, her hands immediately went to her eyes as they were blinded by the light coming from the bulb. Jane must not have turned it off last night. Maura tried to move but couldn't and that's when she realized, she was trapped between the back of the couch and Jane's body.

She looked up and found Jane staring down at her with a small smile on her face. "Good morning," Maura greeted with a smile.

"Good morning, sleepy head," Jane replied as she started stoking Maura's blonde curls.

"You didn't wake me up last night."

"Nah. You were sleeping peacefully. And you looked tired. You must be tired from your flight back and all the drama that happened. I didn't have the heart to wake you."

Maura smiled and squeezed Jane's free hand that was hanging between them. "Your body must be sore."

Jane grinned. "I'd like to play a pillow for everyone," She winked. "When I was young, Frankie and Tommy used to use me as their pillow during our late night movies so it's no big deal. Then I'll be sore the next day but it's okay coz it's worth it."

The two fell silent. Both were lost in their own thoughts wondering where to go next after the heartfelt confession they had last night. They didn't move from their spot. If they are being honest, they like the feeling of each other's bodies against each other even if they felt sore. The simplicity and the easiness of their movements made them want to just lie in that same couch for the rest of the day.

"What are we gonna do?" Maura finally voiced out the one thing that's been on Jane's mind since last night.

Jane sighed, continuing to stroke Maura's hair as their eyes locked on each other. "I don't know. But I'd like to figure this out with you. Weigh our options. Explore the possibilities."

"You mean, having a relationship with each other?"

"Yeah, that's what I'm thinking," Jane paused, wondering if she and Maura are on the same page. "Well, that is... that is, if that's what you want. We can always forget this happened, you know."

Then Maura smiled. That adorable smile she used to flash on Jane. She smiled a genuine smile for the first time since last night. "I'd like that, Jane."

Jane returned the smile. "Okay. So that's what we do. We figure this thing out. Together."

"But what are we gonna tell others? And your mom. She will freak out." Now fear and nervousness were visible in Maura's voice.

Jane felt it. The fear and nervousness Maura felt with their new arrangements. She hugged the other woman tighter and pressed a kiss on top of Maura's head. "Stop worrying about it. We'll take this one step at a time. We don't have to tell them anything, yet. But we don't have to hide either. If I'm making this big step with you, hiding you or hiding us isn't included in that." Maura smiled widely at that, glad that Jane is not freaking out and will stay with her. "If they ask, that I'm sure they will, we'll tell the truth."

"And that truth is?"

"That you and I just crossed the line of friendship and trying to figure this out."

"And that we will see what our future holds for us?"

"That, too. And I have a feeling that Ma and everyone are expecting this to happen."

Maura looked up at Jane then frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Do you remember our 'double date' dinner the other night? With Jack and Drew?"

"Yeah. You looked stunning in your dress that night." There was a glint in Maura's eyes as she remembered how Jane looked that night.

"Err... thanks I guess. But that's not the point. Okay," Jane sighed. "After that dinner, Drew asked me why you and I weren't together. He assumed that we were a couple until he met Jack. He actually asked me why you're still with him."

"Really?"

Jane nodded. "He witnessed our friendship for just a couple of days and he already assumed that we were more than best friends. So, if he did, what more to our family and friends. We are surrounded by detectives and my mother?" Jane rolled her eyes and Maura chuckled. "She has a nose for everything."

"I guess you're right," Maura said as she relaxed in Jane's arms.

"As much as I like to cuddle here with you, we need to get to the station. And you need to go home first because I'm sure you're not going to the office with a wrinkled dress." Jane said as she sat up. Maura followed suit.

"What time is it?"

"Last time I checked, it was seven-thirty."

Maura narrowed her eyes. "What?! You didn't bother to wake me up?"

Jane smiled sheepishly at Maura. "I told you, I didn't want to wake you because you were sleeping peacefully."

"But Jane..."

"I know. You need to go to the office on time but I think you deserve a better rest."

Maura sighed softly, not really mad at Jane. She cupped the detective's face with her right hand and her thumb started grazing Jane's lips. "You have an amazing pair of soft lips."

Jane blushed which rarely happens. "You do, too."

"And I really want to kiss you right now."

Jane stared at Maura and saw the want in her hazel eyes. Making it easier for the doctor, she leaned forward so their lips would touch. It was supposed to be a peck only but soon it grew deeper. Their lips moved in synchronization. Their tongues battled for dominance. Both were consumed with their kiss Jane wasn't aware that she already pulled Maura on her lap. Now closer than ever, they can feel their bodies flushed together. A moan escaped Maura's lips when she felt her breasts touched Jane's own. Jane wrapped her left arm around Maura's waist and pulled the doctor closer if it was even possible. Now closer than ever, Jane leaned on the back of the couch while Maura straddled her.

When oxygen made itself know, they both pulled away from each other's bodies. Their situation may not be right as of now but what they feel towards each other is right. And no one can say it's wrong.

Maura smiled at Jane. "Good morning."

"Good morning." Jane wiped the smudged lipstick on Maura's face.

"I should get going." Maura stood up from Jane's lap.

"I'll see you at the station," Jane said and flashed Maura a smile.

"I'll see you, Detective," Maura replied endearingly.

When they were both alone, they unconsciously touched their lips feeling the intense they shared a little while ago. Both are surprisingly have a pair of soft lips.