AN: Thank you all for the warm feedback, favorites, and alerts. And I'm sorry for the long delay of this chapter. Thank You. Happy Reading :)
Disclaimer: I don't own R&I and the song.
Chapter 21
"And now we're starting over again
It's not the easiest thing to do
I'm feeling inside again
'Cause every time I look at you
I know we're starting over again
This time we'll love all the pain away
Welcome home my lover and friend
We are starting over, over again."
~Starting Over Again by Natalie Cole
Ever since Jane talked to Dinah two days ago, Maura saw changes in Jane. The detective interacts more with her colleagues. She laughs more and she smiles more. Yes, she still works hard to an extent but unlike the way, Jane was last week, she looks more relaxed and happier these past few days. Slowly, the old Jane Rizzoli was coming back. And the shattered and broken Jane Rizzoli was slowly fading away. It wasn't only Maura who noticed the change. Even Korsak, Frankie, Nina, and Angela noticed it. They just didn't comment on it and just let Jane be.
That wasn't the only thing they noticed. At least for Frankie and Korsak. The lingering looks between Jane and Maura. The subtle touches they exchange. The smiles they shared when they thought no one was watching them. All of those things didn't go unnoticed by them. They just didn't ask them about it. But they knew something has changed between the two best friends over the weekend. They became more attached. Inseparable. And even more dynamic. And it's a good thing because they look a lot happier than they ever were.
Angela hadn't got the chance to talk to Jane or Maura after their vacation in Maine but she can see the glow rising in the faces of the two younger women. And that she's sure that everything is alright. That everything will be alright for both of them. And Angela couldn't ask for more. She knows that Jane and Maura's escapade was a good thing. It will bring the two closer. And she was right. And now she felt at peace knowing that her baby girl is in good hands. She could also say the same thing for Maura. Angela knew that Maura will just be fine knowing that it's her daughter holding the good doctor now. They will just be fine. She is sure of it.
That Wednesday night, Maura worked up until late at night due to the dead body of a high person that the Governor asked her to finish the autopsy only finding out that the person committed suicide. By six in the evening, Jane went down to the morgue to invite Maura for dinner but she saw the doctor knee deep in her work. Maura politely declined the offer though she really wanted to spend time with Jane. Then, Jane offered that she'll stay and wait for her to finish work but then again, Maura's face fell reasoning that the body just arrived and the Governor is expecting her results that same day. Jane, of course, understood, just like how Maura understood her job. And since Jane knew how Maura's passionate about her job, she smiled agreeably at the doctor and let her do her thing. But before leaving the doctor to her task, Jane kissed her lovingly at her cheek and said she'll just be at the Dirty Robber.
Now, entering her house at past eleven in the evening, Maura sent a message to Jane that she made it home just now. She didn't expect a response, knowing that the detective is probably asleep now. But when she reached her kitchen, she was surprised to see Angela having tea.
"Angela." Maura greeted.
Angela who was already in her night robe, looked up to see Maura. She smiled at the doctor. "Hey, sweetie."
"What are you doing here this late at night?"
"Oh, I was waiting for you. Jane went to the Dirty Robber earlier. I asked her about you and told me you're working late. Did you eat already?"
"Oh. I just had a cracker and a tuna." Maura answered.
Being a mother as she was, Angela stood up and got the food she brought home with her that night. "Jane asked me to bring food for you. I'll just reheat this, okay?"
Maura smiled at the gesture of Angela. And smiled wider knowing that Jane also made an effort that she ate properly.
"Jane said she was worried you might not eat properly tonight. She said you were too busy and when you're busy you forget to eat."
"She's quite right."
"Reminds me of someone we both know," Angela said and winked at Maura who chuckled in return.
"Did you talk to her today?"
"Well, we did some talking while she was waiting for my shift to be over in the Dirty Robber." Angela looked up and met Maura's gaze. "I can say she's doing good now."
"Yes, thanks to Dinah who showed up and talked to her. Jane doesn't feel guilty anymore about what happened to Michael."
Angela didn't respond immediately. She fixed Maura's dinner and placed in front of the doctor as she sat across her. They were silent for a while. Maura started digging on her food while Angela studied the good doctor.
"I don't think it was all thanks to that woman that's why Jane is okay now." Angela broke the silence.
Maura looked up and held Angela's gaze. Confusion was etched on Maura's face. "What do you mean?"
"Ever since you two came back from your vacation, that same night when you arrived home, I can say that Jane was already okay. It was all thanks to you, Maura. You're the one who made her feel better. It was all you Maura." The older woman smiled.
Maura couldn't help the beginning of blush crossing her face. She looked down and slowly shook her head. "I don't think I was the reason behind it. No. I just stayed with her."
Angela's smile grew wider as she held the other woman's hands in hers. "Yes and that was what Jane needed. Someone who understands her and willing to stay with her. It was you, Maura. Maybe when that woman forgave Jane for something she was feeling guilty about it lessened the weight in her heart, but still, it was you, Maura."
"All I did was talk to her and tried to make sense to her and asked her to let me in."
"Which you both did. You talked to her and she let you in. And we both know that rarely happens when it comes to Jane. She doesn't let anybody in."
"Well... I don't really know what to say." Maura looked up at Angela again.
"Just take the credit for what you did to her. She loves you, Maura."
"And I love her, too."
"I know you do." Angela smiled again as she stood up and let go of the doctor's hands. "I'll leave you alone with your dinner now. See you in the morning."
Maura was left with what Angela told her last. 'She loves you, Maura.' Maura knew that as Jane told her those three big words days ago. But it made it truer when Angela told her that. She couldn't help but smile as her heart burst with pride and joy. She picked up her phone and decided to leave a message for Jane.
I love you. - Maura
Jane stayed at the Dirty Robber until past her normal time, trying to figure out where she would take Maura out for a date. Two bottles of beer down and she's now half of the third bottle. She stayed in the station until seven pm. But when she realized that Maura won't leave the office anytime soon, Jane decided to call it a day and made her way to the Dirty Robber. There, she thought hard of how and where she will take Maura for a date. She thought it would be easy since she knew Maura for a long time now. But then, realizing Maura's hobbies, Jane found it difficult how she will surprise Maura. She thought of having dinner in Maura's favorite French restaurant, then thought that it was too normal. She wanted to make it extra special. Not the normal thing the men Maura used to date do. She wanted to surprise her. Really surprise her. God, who thought that it was too easy to take a woman out of a date, especially when the woman you will date knows a lot of things?
Jane let out a heavy sighed, realizing she was stuck and couldn't think of anything about her date with Maura. Maybe she needs help? Someone who is more familiar in setting up a date? Maybe.
"Penny for your thoughts?" A man's voice asked who sat down across Jane.
Jane looked up and saw her brother, smiling at her. "Hey,"
"Hey, you seemed to be so deep in thought," Frankie said. "Got a problem?"
Jane sipped on her beer before answering. "Hmm, not really a problem but I'm thinking of something important." She replied in almost a whisper.
"Wanna share? Maybe I can help."
Again, Jane looked at her brother. She shook her head and was too hesitant to share because of what Frankie's reaction might be. But then again, she needs help. And maybe, just maybe, Frankie won't judge and help her.
"Come on, try me."
"Well, it's kinda complicated and you just might you know..." Jane just shrugged as Frankie raised an eyebrow at her.
"What?"
"Judge me."
Frankie sighed. "i won't talk unless you told me to."
Now, it's Jane's time to sigh. "Well, I was planning on taking Maura out. I just don't know how to surprise her."
Time ticked for two Rizzolis.
Jane felt her heart stopped beating once the very words left her lips. She had never felt this nervous her entire life. It's not that she's ashamed of her and Maura's relationship. She was just used to people expecting her to do better things. And hell, who said Maura Isles isn't better? She's way better than those men she dated before. A lot better. Maybe she was just used to people expecting her to follow social norms.
"Well?" Jane's question became almost a whisper.
"Oh, you're asking for my opinion now?"
"Well, yeah." Jane rolled her eyes, but really she's still nervous inside.
Frankie smiled widely at her. "First of all, thank you for trusting me about this new information. Not that I'm surprised that you and Maura will end up together anyway." He grinned.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you know Frost, Korsak, and I kinda talked about this before. We kinda suspected you two will end up together."
"Kinda? You mean, you three were talking behind our backs?" Irritation laced in Jane's voice this time.
"No, no. Not that way. You know people see things. And let's face it, your relationship with Maura is far beyond normal. I mean, yes we know you two are best friends and there's more to it. Something more that you two weren't aware of. It's not bad Jane." Frankie explained.
Jane calmed down again when Frankie's words sank in."So, it was just the two of us who weren't aware of what we had and we were really that dense?"
"Hmm, exactly. Jane, Maura is a good one. Like Ma said to me every time. She always say Maura is good for you and I do believe her. So whatever you two plan, I'll have nothing against it."
Jane smiled at her brother. "Thank you Frankie."
"So let's talk about your problem. Tell me about it."
"I asked Maura on a date. But I'm having problem where to take her."
"Really?"
"Damn it Frankie. I'm serious!" Jane hissed.
"But you two are best friends. You know what she likes and she doesn't like, right?"
"Of course, dummy. But we're talking about Maura here. Maura Isles for heaven's sake." Jane said flailing her arms. Frankie tried to stop laughing seeing her sister this way but couldn't. This just earned him another hiss from his sister.
"Frankie!"
"Sorry, sorry." He said between laughs. "I just never saw you this way before. Panicking over something."
"Well, stop. It's not funny."
"Okay, okay."
"So are you going to give me advice where to take her or you'll just sit there and laugh at me? Coz, I'll leave."
"Well why don't you take her to her favorite restaurant?"
"I thought of that but I think that's too cliche. She may have went there many times now. I wanted something else for her. You know, something unique. Something..."
"Something you're the only who would think of it?" Frankie finished for her.
"Well, you could say that. Her previous dates and boyfriends may have done the same thing. I just want to be different from them." Jane said.
"Well, I'm a guy. The only thing I can say is take her to movies or restaurant. That's what we normally do when we want to date the women we like. I'm sorry Jane. But here's something I must say. Out of all the people Maura knew, you're the only one who knows her well. You know what she wants. And probably whatever you plan for your date, it will be alright with Maura." Frankie explained.
"I know she will be alright whatever I have in mind. But I don't want to settle for that. I do really want to do something for her." Just then, Jane's phone beeped. She took it and opened that screen. Knowing she got a text from Maura, she immediately read it. A smile was formed on her lips upon reading the message.
"Is that Maura? I can tell from your smile."
Jane looked up, still smiling. "I think I already know what to do."
Jane was already in her car, ready to go home to her apartment when she decided to respond to Maura's text.
I love you.
The words kept ringing in Jane's head like a broken record. But she must admit, the smile never left her face ever since the first time she read it. It's as if she could hear Maura saying it to her. So this is love. This is what being in love really feels like. No mind games. No playing. Just pure love and happiness. Just you and the other person. Nothing else mattered.
Just as Jane was about to send her response to Maura, her cellphone rang. She immediately answered it with a huge smile on her face, knowing that it was Maura calling. "Hey," Jane greeted.
"Hey, are you home yet?" The smile on Jane's face was mirrored on Maura at the other side of the line.
"I was about to. I'm actually in my car, right now. Why did you call?"
"Uhm... nothing. I just..."
"Hives Maura. What is it?"
Maura blushed. Good thing Jane wasn't able to see her now. Jane knew her so well. "Well, I just wanted to..." she trailed off.
"To what, Maur?"
"To hear your voice."
Then there was silence.
Their hearts beating fast.
"Jane?"
"I actually want to hear your voice, too." Jane confessed. A big smile broke into their faces.
Maura let out a soft sigh. "I'm glad."
"So, am I. So, Dr. Isles, what are you doing now?"
"Finishing my tea. Angela fed me the food you made her bring here." Maura smiled.
"I'm glad you ate them. I know you haven't got the time to eat because of your work."
"Thank you Jane, that was very thoughtful of you."
"Always. Always, Maura."
Silence.
Dead air passed between the two, trying to feel what each other feel. Letting their silence speak for them. And it's okay for both of them. It's just okay.
"Do you feel this?" Maura broke the silence.
"Hmm? Feel what?"
"This feeling where you don't know what to say but also don't want the conversation to end. I feel stupid, Jane. I feel like I'm in high school again." Maura admitted as a blush crept up on her neck.
Jane understood. She feels the same way. Like she's falling in love for the first time. Like this is the first time. But maybe, just maybe this is really the first time she fell in love with someone.
She smiled even though Maura won't see her. Because she understood. "I feel it, too. It's not just you, you know. I feel like there's always butterflies in my stomach every time I see you. It's funny because we've been best friends for many years but I still feel shy every time I talk to you or just simply look at you."
"Is this love, Jane? Is this what real love is?"
Soft sigh.
"Yes, this is love, Love." Jane softly replied.
Maura knew Jane wasn't just confirming. She knew her detective just called her with a term of endearment. And she felt it.
"Love."
She wasn't expecting this to happen. Jane was beginning to accept that the Sullivan case will be one of those cold cases they won't be able to solve. But entering the bullpen, Korsak told her they had found a lead. Someone tipped him off where the probable whereabouts of the Sullivan might be. And she was just ecstatic about it. They may still be able to give justice to the poor little girl who did nothing wrong.
When Korsak finished giving her all the details, she asked Korsak to wait for her outside BPD and went down to the basement where Maura is. And without a doubt, Jane found Maura in her office with a pile of paperwork. Jane smiled upon seeing the beautiful doctor.
"Hey," Jane softly greeted as she entered Maura's office.
Maura looked up and returned the smile when she saw Jane. "Hey." Maura stood up.
"I'm glad I found you here. I thought you're not going in for work."
"Well, I have a lot of paperwork to do so I need to come in." Maura moved forward and gave Jane a kiss on the cheek. "Good morning."
Jane couldn't help but smile back. "Good morning."
"So, is there anything you need? Something I could do for you."
"Well, I actually came here to tell you something. Someone tipped Korsak off the whereabouts of the Sullivan couple and we're going now. I just want to tell you personally so you won't come looking for me and I may have miss lunch."
"Oh, that's good then. You may put this case yo rest if you find them."
"Yes. And also I want to tell you that I would like to go on a date with you tonight if that is alright with you."
And Maura's smile couldn't get any brighter. "Yes, Jane. I would love to go on a date with you tonight."
"Great. So, I'll pick you up at seven. And for what you wear, just be yourself, Maur. You're always beautiful anyway." Jane said as Maura's cheeks blushed.
"Thank you, Jane. You be careful with your mission, okay? I need you in one piece. We're just starting our new life."
"Yes, ma'am. I will. Well, I need to go now." This time, Jane leaned in to kiss Maura on the side of her head.
"Okay, you be careful and do what you're good at."
Maura watched Jane leave her office. And as Jane did so, Maura had a sudden feeling that is not right. She frowned as the uneasy feeling grew in her heart but she chose to ignore it. She instead opted to go back to what she was previously doing before Jane came in. Maybe she was just worried like she normally is when Jane is pursuing a lead. Everything will be fine, she thought to herself. Or at least she thought so.