Chapter Ten: To Never Giving Up
Written by: JayEmEl
Edited by: Cowjump
NOTE: This chapter is special. Not only does it mark the halfway point of Forlorn's story, but it is also dedicated to Cowjump as a thank you for all the help and support he has given me. Please, do check out his fanfics Valence, Edelweiss, and On Kaiser Island. Leave him some kind words – he'll appreciate them.
There's a scene in this chapter that Cowjump would have liked to include in On Kaiser Island, but it unfortunately never made it into the story. It's in here, though, now – perhaps not in his wording or writing style, but in spirit. Be on the lookout for the cafeteria's setting and descriptions!
Happy reading!
Yang blinked her eyes open, and for a moment she was really confused upon finding that the room was strangely dim. And there was something dark in front of her face obscuring her vision even more. Had the curtains been pulled together while she slept? Yang creased her eyebrows, the gears in her head rotating slowly, trying to remember, but then she finally realized something else – something that made her eyebrows shoot up in awkward alarm.
It seemed that, for whatever reason, Yang was not in her own bed. It didn't smell like her. It felt different somehow. She was also not alone. There was a sort of warm weight on her chest, but, like, not really on her chest. More like against her chest since she was on her side. Her arm was in a strange position – not an uncomfortable one, but just…not normal. And what the heck was her leg doing?
She felt really well rested, aura levels replenished and all, if anything positive could be drawn from this uncanny predicament.
Although, cozy and recovered – as nice as those were – really didn't compensate for the absolute weirdness of practically inhaling another person's hair. Because, well, Blake was just literally that close. Yang was, without mincing her words, thoroughly spooning the Faunus – erm, her girlfriend. That came as no consolation.
Yang could feel the heat rise throughout her entire body, but not in excitement – rather, in total embarrassment. What even was this? She was so used to snuggling the stuffed panther Blake had gotten her that…
Ohhhh myyy Goooood.
With the sound of blood rushing in her ears, Yang feared that she had voiced this last concern out loud it had been so clear in her head, and she froze, expecting Blake to wake up. Unfortunately, in Yang's utter discomfort, freezing meant tightening her hold – and that was what caused Blake to stir.
No, no, no, no – oh, my God, just what –
Blake groaned. "Ugh, Yang, what are you doing?"
"That is an excellent question!" Yang squeaked quickly, her voice one octave far higher than she intended thanks to her nervousness. And she still hadn't moved. Heart pounding, she was fast to rectify the situation and wormed her arm from underneath Blake's and sat up suddenly, as far away from the sleepy girl as she possibly could.
And apparently as loudly as she possibly could, too, because she slammed her head against the bottom of her own bunk in the process, yelping in pain. Of course, if Yang wasn't in her own bunk, then it meant she had to actually be careful about sitting up. This never happened to her with the ceiling. She wanted to literally die.
"Yang? What…?" Blake turned her torso over to stare at the blushing blonde in complete befuddlement, the disorientation clear in her expression. She narrowed her golden eyes. "Are you…okay?"
Yang ignored the drumming in her ears and the soreness at the top of her head, covering her face with her hands. "No. I'm not," she wailed. She didn't understand what was even happening. They had gone to sleep in an entirely platonic manner. Yang had enjoyed plenty of sleep-overs with her friends at Signal and never cuddled up to any of them like that – like, that hadn't even been cuddling. Yang might as well have been on top of Blake.
Ugh.
"What's wrong?" Blake sounded both groggy and puzzled. She moved, and it was by this motion that it occurred to Yang that their legs were still entwined.
Yang jumped and bashed her head all over again.
This time, as the brawler just pulled her knees up and hid her face against her thighs, Blake straightened up, too, and finally – finally – they weren't touching anymore. Later, Yang would have to apologize for agreeing to the bunk bed idea. If she hadn't been trying so hard not to think about Blake, Yang would have praised her partner for putting up with it all this time. What a bruising arrangement.
"Yang, seriously. What's going on?" The Faunus could not have sounded more concerned – and apparently also blissfully ignorant of the utter catastrophe that was currently happening.
No, me! Not the time for cat puns!
How could her brain betray her like this? This was, hands down, the single-most shameful moment of Yang's entire existence. And she had done a lot of shameful things – such as agreeing to the bunk beds – so that was saying something.
"Did you…have a bad dream?"
I'm having a nightmare!
She couldn't look at Blake. It was secure here, wrapped in a tight ball and refusing to show her face. She could just pretend the world didn't exist. Maybe everything would go away. But not Blake. But also, at the same time, Blake.
God, please kill me.
The only response she could give Blake's previous questions was a plaintive, excruciated moan. This was horrible. Her head throbbed painfully.
"Right… So, I'm going to turn on a light, get you some water… And then you can tell me what this is all about." Blake got off the bed.
Yang wasn't sure she could ever move or speak again, anyway. She couldn't believe any of this had even taken place because, well, not only had her arm been around Blake's waist, not only had Yang been holding her possessively close, but even the blonde's leg had been in on the amorous spooning.
To say the least, Yang couldn't think straight.
Stop with the puns already! God!
She was vaguely aware of a light being switched on, but with her face hidden as it was, it didn't make much of a difference for her. Yang then heard Blake open the mini fridge they kept in the corner of the room, probably retrieving a bottle of water from it. It was highly unrealistic, but Yang secretly hoped Blake would stay over there. And by that, she meant for the rest of her life – just to ensure they'd never interact ever again. Ever.
But, of course, it was highly unrealistic.
Hopes withering and dying, Yang waited in unfading unease as Blake approached once more. She felt the Faunus sit on the edge of the bed again. To the lilac-eyed girl's barely discernable relief – because her humiliation was still too monumental – Blake didn't come any closer. She also didn't say anything. The two young women shared the next few moments in silence, one patiently waiting for the other to calm down and breathe easier while the other internally lamented her existence. Yang had to admit – the situation could have been a lot worse. For example, Blake could have been laughing, and Yang might as well have dug her own grave and buried herself in it. And, frankly, she still wanted to. But neither of those things were the case. What a miracle that was.
"We slept a lot longer than we should have. But I think we needed it," Blake eventually observed in an even tone of voice. Yang had to give her credit – the attempt at changing the subject had been delivered smoothly. "It's past ten o'clock. At night."
The revelation had a sobering effect on Yang as it kicked her brain into overdrive again, but for an entirely different reason this time. Her eyes widened and she uncovered her face. "What? Are you serious?" Alarmed, she moved past Blake to get off the bed. "What about Ruby? Blake, we have to –"
The Faunus gently grabbed Yang's arm to stop her from going any further. "Yang, we can't go anywhere so late into the evening. There are no airships leaving Beacon until tomorrow morning."
Yang paused, confronted with an anxiety-causing dilemma. On the one hand, she was supposed to have been back by Ruby's side at this time, and not presently being at the hospital made her feel like she was failing her little sister. On the other hand, that didn't even matter now because there was nothing she could do to fix the problem – but letting it go was much more difficult. She was just so worried.
"Why don't you try to relax and tell me what happened just now?" Blake prompted softly, tugging only slightly on Yang's arm and handing her the bottle of water.
Her question brought back the previous extreme awkwardness to the forefront of Yang's mind, and the golden girl felt the heat rise to her cheeks once more. She was able to keep most of her cool this time, thankfully, and after another moment's hesitation, Yang opted to try and focus on Blake. She couldn't go watch over Ruby and she would rapidly run herself down if she spent the next seven or so hours pacing back and forth in her upset. Part of her wanted to do that – there must have still been some way to get to Vale so late at night, and Yang was more than willing to put her brain power and energy into finding it – but she also knew Blake was right there, and she wouldn't have any of that. If anything, a distraction would at least make the hours go by faster.
So, Yang took the bottle of water and deliberately sat back down on the edge of the bed, carefully ensuring that there was enough distance between her and Blake that their legs wouldn't touch. She swallowed hard. "Uh, well… See… The thing is –" Yang scratched the back of her head uncomfortably. Then she uncapped the bottle and took a drink. This made no sense. She could purposely stick her foot in her mouth time and again, make terrible jokes, say and do the stupidest things, but she somehow couldn't express this. Truly, Yang was having the worst consecutive days of her life. The cold water seemed to help, though. "I was, uh, kinda…totally, er, spooning you?" She forced herself to look at Blake.
The Faunus slowly blinked her golden eyes – much like a cat would at their owner, in fact, as a sign of affection – staring at Yang without surprise. "Yes, you were," she acknowledged calmly. Her head tilted to the side a bit. "Is that what's making you blush?"
So, Blake hadn't been in blissful ignorance earlier. And the fact that she was displaying next to no emotion about this was driving Yang up the wall. It wasn't like she had never experienced intense snuggling before – she wasn't having some naïve moment of innocence – no, that wasn't the reason at all. It was just that…Yang was straight. Boy-orientated. She had been spooned before – not the one doing the spooning. And certainly not to a girl. Well, Blake. But still. Same thing. Because Blake was a girl. Obviously.
Yang slumped her shoulders. "I blame the stuffed panther you won for me."
Now Blake looked vaguely amused. "You know I won't complain, Yang." One corner of her lips raised into a small, crooked smile. There was a sort of…happy glint in her eyes, and, suddenly, Yang felt less embarrassed. At her own expense as it might have been, seeing Blake like this seemed to almost make up for the humiliation. Almost.
Yang managed a bit of a sigh, attempting to let it go. If anything at all, Blake deserved to savor that cuddling or at least recall it without the taint of a negative reaction – especially after the way Yang had treated her earlier that very same day. Yang slowly shook her head. "Yeah, I know." She looked towards the door, still wishing she could go find Ruby even if she had given up on that plan – for the moment, at least. It was hard to not think about it.
"Hey," Blake gently caught the blonde's attention, getting Yang to look at her again. "We should eat something. Any ideas?"
Yang mulled the question over, finding it hard to think about the subjects of food and if she was hungry or not. "Uh." She wasn't hungry. But she also knew Blake wouldn't take that for an answer. The Faunus was clearly worried about Yang's state of mind, and the normally carefree girl not acting like her usual self or taking care of her own needs was only making it worse. She didn't want Blake being concerned like that. It really wasn't her burden to bear. Therefore, Yang finally attempted a smile. "We could raid the cafeteria?" And then, because Blake looked like she wasn't buying it, Yang added, "I'd totes get me some, like, lobster or something. Or – even better – we could cook ourselves a turkey!"
Blake narrowed her eyes a little, creasing her brows while her lips twitched upwards into an amused smile. "I don't think we can do that, but sure. Let's see what we can find." She stood, and while Yang might not have been sure if Blake believed her or not, at least she wasn't pressing the issue further.
Yang got up as well. She had to convince Blake she was… Well, she wasn't okay, but she didn't want Blake being concerned about it. "What do you mean, we can't do that? We can do anything! It's past ten o'clock!"
"I think we should see if it's even open, first," came the familiar rational reply as Blake headed for the door.
"Oh, right. Have you been down there at this time before?"
Yang followed her out and into the hallway. Lilac eyes were drawn to Team JNPR's door, and Yang supposed the four members were still gone on their end-of-year assignment. They wouldn't know anything about what had happened yet, and the brawler found herself dreading the moment they would learn when they returned. She just hoped they would fare better than her own team had.
"No. But there's a first time for everything."
Yang immediately looked up at the ceiling, tempted to whistle innocently. But she didn't. "Like, for example, unintentional spooning?"
"Among other things. You aren't going to let that one go, are you?"
"It may or may not have scarred me for life." If Yang were to be absolutely honest with herself, though, she did have to concede that Blake was warmer and apparently more comfortable than the stuffed panther the blonde kept on her bed. Yang had slept like a baby, after all, so that had to be one benefit, right?
Walking in front of her, Blake looked over her shoulder to give Yang an amused glance. She didn't say anything, though, only smiling enigmatically before continuing to guide her partner through Beacon's very strangely quiet hallways. It wasn't in their habits to roam around the academy so late into the evening, and Yang was a bit weirded out by the stillness. Apart from her own muffled footsteps on the maroon carpeting – because Blake's footsteps were admirably soundless – Yang couldn't discern any other noises. If the idea hadn't been so impossible, the couple might as well have been the only people in the entire school.
It didn't really help Yang's unrest, rather enforcing the belief that she had somewhere else to be, just like a lot of other students did at this time of the year. How would she ever manage to kill seven or so hours without losing her mind? She highly doubted she would able to sleep again, and she even less wanted to be left alone with her thoughts, at the risk of concocting some sort of crazy escape plan that would most likely just get her in trouble, in the end, no matter the reasons for it.
No one had ever accused Yang of being unimaginative or torpid, after all.
Still lost in thought, Yang followed Blake through a few more hallways, down a couple flight of stairs and eventually to the double doors leading into the cafeteria. Blake gripped one of the handles and gave an experimental pull – the door opened. The couple shared a triumphant glance before Blake pulled the door open entirely and allowed Yang to step inside the cafeteria first.
It was dark inside, but Remnant's fractured moon provided soft, natural lighting through the tall windows that lined the far right wall. The vast room was basked in a ghostly blue glow, tables, chairs and counters reflecting the moonlight. It was so bizarre seeing the normally bustling place so devoid of commotion or people. Like this, the cafeteria seemed…abandoned and eerily quiet.
Which was why Yang almost jumped when the door suddenly closed shut not far behind her, the sound way too loud and conspicuous than it had any right to be in this setting. She turned to see Blake wincing, hand on the door's push bar.
"Sorry," Blake apologized, and even her soft voice seemed hollow, resonating only slightly because of the room's emptiness.
Yang shrugged before looking around again. It became apparent that there was no food that had been left out – not all that surprising, really. There weren't even any dried food snacks. "Hm. Nothing to eat here."
But Blake walked past the brawler, footsteps somehow still silent on the vinyl flooring. She headed towards a door that was located near the large buffet, and Yang perked up in interest, hurrying to catch up with her. If they were to find food anywhere, it would definitely be in the kitchens.
"I don't think this is going to be open, but…" Blake reached out and turned the knob. This time, it didn't budge. The Faunus sighed and crossed her arms. "Well, then."
Yang paused, and then her expression lit up as an idea crossed her mind. "Wait, move back. I've got this."
Blake's golden eyes widened as she clued in to what Yang wanted to do. "No. You are not –"
"I totally am!" Yang sing-songed, grinning as she took a step back and brought her fists up.
Blake was quick to bodily put herself between Yang and the metal door. "Stop. I've got a better idea." She didn't move until the lilac-eyed girl chuckled and motioned for Blake to proceed with this "better" way. Blake sighed and rolled her eyes before turning to face the door and taking out, of all things, a bobby-pin from her pocket.
It was Yang's turn to widen her eyes, immediately catching on. "You know that's illegal, right? Also, why do you even have that?"
Blake crouched down but still gave Yang a sarcastic glance. "Because kicking in the door is so much more legal. Also, contingency in case my partner decides blasting academy doors open is a good idea," she replied dryly, making the taller of the two snicker in sheepish amusement. Whether that statement was true or not, Blake certainly knew Yang well. But Blake got to work, inserting the bobby-pin into the lock and moving it carefully up and down. She was focused on her task, Yang noted, her hands steady and her gaze unwavering. Even her cat ears were turned straight towards the lock, twitching ever so subtly at every tiny helpful sound that Yang couldn't hear from where she stood. It wasn't long before Blake used her nail to turn the lock with a giving click.
To tell the truth, Yang was impressed. As Blake stood back up, the blonde couldn't help but ask, "That wasn't your first time doing that, was it?" It had been rather clear that it wasn't. The calmness, confidence and speed – and lack of proper tools – with which Blake had picked the lock made it evident. Yang supposed it was one of the things the Faunus had learned as a member of the White Fang, and although it was kinda cool in the brawler's personal opinion, she also knew the reality of it wasn't an altogether particularly positive thought.
"It's not a skill I'm proud of," Blake replied, her tone neutral and confirming Yang's suspicions. "But it has saved my life more than once."
"Is this one of those times? Kept you from starving to death?"
"No. Kept my partner from blasting academy doors down, remember?"
Yang started laughing, and the raven-haired girl opened the door and walked into the kitchens – this time leaving Yang to keep the door open for herself. Blake found the light switch as Yang came inside, and then the two girls took in their surroundings.
There was an island in the middle with several burners to cook on, surrounded by countertops – pans, pots and cooking tools hanging from the ceiling above it – another larger door at the left back wall that probably led to the freezer, several fridges lining the wall beside it, and cupboards and drawers everywhere. There were sinks, more counters and oil bins to the right.
Yang's laughing died down so she could ask, "We aren't actually cooking something, are we?" She paused. "Not that I'd mind or anything, but, you know, I think we aren't allowed here in the first place…"
"Whatever gave you that idea?" Blake asked, humoring as she made her way over to the fridges and open one of them to see what she could find.
"I think the locked door was a giveaway." Yang hummed, checking the pantry. "Or maybe it was the empty cafeteria. Or maybe – and get this – it was stepping out of our dorm after curfew." She had to admit, though, that getting up to mischief reminded her of happier times – and, again, that Blake was even here, helping this late-evening excursion happen smoothly, as she had often done in the past despite her muttered comments about absurd activities – and put Yang into a bit more of an adventurous mood. Her concern for Ruby still nagged at the back of her mind, but this was fun. She might not have been all that hungry yet, but the stimulation of getting into trouble without doing anything harmful made stealing a bit of food for real the ultimate offense, and Yang wanted to enjoy that. It wasn't the craziest thing the thrill-seeker had done before, but it was nonetheless entertaining.
Plus, Blake had totally done all the work with her bad-butt ninja skills. That was worthwhile.
Yang retrieved a microwaveable noodle soup supper from the pantry, and realizing that Blake hadn't said anything yet, the extrovert turned to see what her girlfriend was up to…only to see that the Faunus had disappeared. Yang creased her eyebrows, assuming that Blake had gone back to the cafeteria, and then filled her plastic bowl with water before sticking it in the microwave located on a shelf in the corner of the room. The irony of the situation wasn't lost on her – she was in a fully functional kitchen with plenty of ingredients to make a proper meal, yet instead of cooking anything, she was just using the staff microwave to heat up an unhealthy, super salty packaged soup.
What a victory this was.
Yang waited the four whole minutes it took for the microwave to finish heating the soup, carefully took the steaming bowl and then, even more carefully, walked out of the kitchens with it. She found a spoon at the end of the buffet, where the other eating utensils were, and then searched for Blake with her gaze.
The Faunus was over at one of the tables, sitting on the edge of the surface instead of on one of the chairs. She appeared to be eating – not surprisingly at all – a can of tuna. There was also yogurt on the table beside her and a snack-sized box of apple juice. Yang raised her eyebrows, finding that to be a comical – if not peculiar – mix of things to eat but choosing not to comment on it. She went over to Blake and sat down on the chair closest to her partner.
"Didn't look for any HV dinners?" Yang wondered in amusement.
Blake gracefully shrugged. "I see you didn't shut the light off," she shot back instead, and Yang grinned. The prankster liked the teasing and jabbing fun at each other they often did. However, Blake paused, looking down at the food in her hand and then swinging her foot once. It seemed something had been on her mind because what she said next came out as a hesitant murmur. "I need to talk to you about something."
Yang took a spoonful of soup into her mouth. "Mm?"
Blake looked around, creasing her eyebrows. "This echo is strange."
That certainly wasn't among the things Yang had been expecting. Confused, she took in the empty, moonlit room again as she swallowed. She hadn't been paying any particular attention to the resonance of their voices anymore. But perhaps the Faunus' sensitive hearing made it more difficult for Blake to put aside. "Sure. But I bet that's not what's bothering you. What's up?" If Blake felt the need to stall instead of just telling Yang what was wrong, then that was a bit concerning.
Blake sighed, and Yang only grew more apprehensive. "Because Ruby is in the hospital right now…" she glanced at Yang, looking equally fearful, and continued, "Headmaster Ozpin and Professor Goodwitch deemed it fit to choose an interim leader for our team. They wanted it to be me."
The news couldn't have hit harder. Yang froze, processing the revelation. At least, she tried to. "What?" she finally uttered, putting down her spoon and fixing a stunned stare on Blake. Her mind was reeling.
"Weiss informed me about this yesterday. I'm not okay with it, but in case of emergencies, we need someone to turn to for orders. And if Ruby isn't in a condition to give them to us…" Blake's voice trailed off and she looked away sadly.
Just like that, all the negative emotions that had been ailing Yang ever since Ruby had gotten hurt came rushing back to the forefront of her mind. She had trouble breathing. This…wasn't right. No. She couldn't accept this. And Blake had… "Did you take it?" she asked, so quietly she wasn't even sure she'd spoken out loud.
Blake was fast to meet Yang's gaze again. Her expression was worried. "I…I didn't want to. But Weiss was the next one they considered…and she told me herself she preferred giving the position to me. I –"
Yang stood up, causing Blake to fall silent. It didn't matter. Yang knew the answer anyway – had known even before Blake had started explaining. They were completely erasing Ruby from the picture. She might as well have already been dead to them. Three days. That's all they needed to shove a knife in her back. And Blake…and Blake had…
"Yang –"
But Yang had heard enough. She briskly turned and stalked towards the cafeteria's exit, hoping to just…get away somehow. She needed to see Ruby. Desperately. She didn't know how she was going to manage to get back to Vale at this time, but she had to try.
She was aware that Blake was following her – and it wasn't helping her mood. The Faunus didn't attempt to stop Yang until they reached the courtyard outside, though.
"Yang! Please, you can't go to Vale." Blake gently gripped Yang's arm, and the brawler did come to a halt – albeit with a great deal of reluctance and frustration. She clenched her fists, doing her best to remain calm. Her heart was pounding and the sense of urgency to see Ruby was threatening to make her lose patience and lash out at Blake again, but Yang had made a promise. It had never been more difficult to keep it, though. She was torn.
"I'm sorry," Blake murmured. "I'm really sorry. I don't like this – not any more than you do – and I was going to refuse. It's not fair, it's too early, and this isn't right. But Weiss insisted that this was purely for emergencies. I'm not taking Ruby's place. I don't want to."
Yang slowly turned to face her partner. In the soft glow of the moon, the sincerity in Blake's pleading golden gaze was clear as day. Deep down, Yang knew Blake hadn't had much of a choice. She also knew that Blake was smart and sensitive enough to go with the lesser of two evils when stuck between a rock and a hard place. And her words proved that this had been the case. Nevertheless, Yang couldn't help feeling betrayed. Ruby was her everything, and just the mere thought of casting her aside – even just a little bit – cut deep.
But Yang had to give Blake the benefit of the doubt. She had to, or she risked being a detriment to their relationship…again.
"Alright," Yang managed hoarsely. She unclenched her fists, eyes burning. "Okay. I believe you."
She had to control herself. More importantly, this wasn't going to give Blake any reason to think Yang was fine if she didn't act even like a semblance of her usual self. Yes, she needed to be by Ruby's side – if only to dispel her worry and feelings of loss, to somehow stop the ground she stood on from crumbling entirely – but she couldn't. Not right now. She didn't even know where she had been going – just so long as she had been going somewhere. Still, she wouldn't have gone far. Or she would have broken some rules – rules that merited much more severe consequences if broken. Maybe it was a good thing that Blake was holding her back. Maybe Blake wasn't an enemy. Maybe…maybe Blake was trying her best, too.
"Yang… I'm here for you, okay? If you need to talk, or anything whatsoever… I'm here." Blake's eyes were wide, almost fearful, but there was a certain determination in her expression, too. "Just…please, wait until morning. We'll go see Ruby together without causing any problems. She'll be alright until then."
Guilt tore through Yang. This was all her fault. She was messing everything up. Blake didn't deserve the way her own girlfriend was treating her. She even less deserved bearing the blonde's burden. Worse, how could Blake even help? They were all useless, and Yang had failed her role as a big sister. She was a screw up. And Blake was…still standing there, waiting. Waiting for what – that, Yang didn't know. Really, Yang didn't know anything anymore. She was lost and felt terribly insecure and afraid, and Ruby was the only thing keeping her from falling apart.
…And Blake was the only thing keeping her from jumping off the cliff.
Yang sighed, attempting to let everything go with the exhale – and failed miserably, of course. Still, she managed to regain a bit of composure. A bit. "I know. I'm fine." Her reply came out harsher than she intended, but she needed Blake to know that, if only for the sake of not appearing so weak and scared. Blake wouldn't understand the way Yang was feeling, anyway. It wouldn't have even made sense to put that kind of pressure on her.
But then, as if the Faunus had read Yang's thoughts, Blake blinked back tears and swallowed hard. She let go of Yang's arm and almost whispered, "You told me something, once. It was hard to believe at first – hard to make that leap of faith. You said 'I'm pretty sure I can meet you halfway – but you're gonna have to actually explain it to me, first.' And then you said 'Please, give me – give us – a chance.' …So, I did." Blake met Yang's disbelieving stare a bit nervously. "And you didn't lie. You met me stride for stride, and there hasn't been one moment where I felt like you didn't get it at all." She looked down again, and her voice broke. "I've been happy, Yang, because I trusted you and you never let me down."
It was funny how Blake could just say that when, earlier that very same day, Yang had more than evidently caused her a lot of heartache. Had Blake become amnesiac? Probably not, but Yang wasn't sure why Blake would have omitted it from the story. Nevertheless, Yang was touched. There was a tight ball in her throat that she couldn't seem to swallow and her eyes still burned, but she actually managed a small, pained smile. She knew why Blake had brought that memory up. To a certain extent, it was cute. It was heartwarming. But this was different. Yang couldn't bring herself to share her thoughts. "Thanks, Blake. But I promise I'm alright." For good measure, though, she briefly caressed Blake's cheek and attempted to smile more joyfully. "You're the best, kitten."
Blake appeared momentarily confused, but Yang didn't allow the conversation to continue on the same topic. She walked past her partner, back towards Beacon, saying, "I think we have food still waiting for us. My soup is probably getting cold and your tuna must be getting warm. Sounds yummy."
"Uh, yeah," Blake muttered, quickly catching up with Yang. "Yeah, wonderful." But she didn't leave it at that. Suddenly, Blake grabbed Yang's arm again and forced her to stop walking. The couple faced each other once more in front of the entrance into the academy. Blake's amber eyes were intent, worried and searching for a sign of something in her companion's expression. However, Yang made sure to only seem bemused, as if she were wondering what her girlfriend was up to.
Blake wasn't fooled. That much became obvious when she sighed and then, out of nowhere, hugged Yang tightly.
Lilac eyes widened, and Yang just stood there awkwardly for a moment, processing this unexpected action. But Blake didn't let go, burying her face against Yang's shoulder, and before Yang really knew what she was doing, she found herself reciprocating, wrapping her own arms around her partner – gently – and closing her eyes at the sudden sensation of relief that came with the embrace. She hadn't realized how much she needed this until it was given to her, and the benefits were immediate. A small weight had been lifted from her chest, and Yang actually felt like she could breathe now. "Thank you, Blake," she whispered into silky raven locks. It was all she could say without cracking.
"Anything for you, Yang," Blake replied in the same tone, soft and caring. Yang tightened her hold, drawing as much comfort as she could from Blake's presence. She couldn't believe how calming it was, how steady and real her girlfriend felt in her arms – much better than a stuffed panther, all things considered. Blake really was the best.
Eventually, though, Yang pulled away slowly, cupped the Faunus' jaw with her hands and laid a gentle kiss on Blake's forehead – partly to thank her again, partly in the hopes of gratifying her. "Let's go finish eating."
Blake nodded. The two girls gazed into each other's eyes for another short moment, and then Yang smiled before heading off again, Blake right by her side.
Yang couldn't, for the life of her, remember the title of the movie she and Blake had chosen to watch. After finishing their small meal and cleaning up after themselves, the couple had returned to their dorm and connected the holoscreen the room was equipped with to Yang's scroll. They had searched a list of movies, but Yang had only been paying enough attention to acknowledge a title that came across as vaguely interesting when first mentioned and quickly read about. Blake had agreed to it easily enough, so that had been…passable on the blonde's part, she supposed.
The girls had taken their pillows from their beds and the comforter from Blake's and had set up a comfortable spot on the floor to watch the movie from. They'd even turned off the lights, settled back and relaxed to enjoy the movie side by side, sitting in the dark.
Yang had watched for the first fifteen minutes or so – put in extra effort, even, to make it seem like she was intrigued. And to reassure Blake, she had even invited the Faunus to cuddle against her. Blake hadn't hesitated, scooting closer to lay her head on Yang's shoulder and curling up against her side. Yang didn't mind this particular form of proximity, as it wasn't anything like the weirdly amorous spooning from earlier. In fact, it suited Yang – Blake couldn't see her expression like this, and if she tried to look, the brawler would feel the movement and could immediately compose herself if necessary.
At some point, though, even that had slipped Yang's mind. Some time into the movie, her gaze had become unfocused, seeing the images on the holoscreen but failing to process any of the information. She just felt…removed from the entire situation. Incredibly alone, too, even if Blake was right there. Over the course of the film, Blake had slowly slipped down further until she was laying on the blonde's lap now, it seemed. Yang recalled similar circumstances with Ruby. Her younger sister would fall asleep like this, especially if Yang caressed her hair. And then later, the older sibling would pick Ruby up into her arms and carry the girl to her bed and tuck her in. Sometimes Ruby would wake up long enough to wish Yang goodnight. Sometimes Yang just kissed her forehead and whispered the words before going to her own bed.
She missed those moments to no ends. She missed Ruby.
Yang's fingers continued to caress absent-mindedly, softly gliding through raven tresses and stroking the upper part of her friend's back. She didn't want to think about what would happen if Ruby didn't wake up. Yet the fear was making itself more and more known in addition to the pressure Yang already felt to be there if Ruby did open her eyes. It could have already happened. And she would be alone, and wonder where her friends and family were…
Wait. I am petting Blake.
Yang blinked, tuning back in to the present instant. The main protagonist was having a heart-to-heart with his love interest – at least, that was what it looked like. Yang looked down. Blake was hugging the blonde's legs with one arm and resting her head on the other. She seemed pretty involved with the movie. That said, Yang really was petting the Faunus. Partly curled up on Yang's lap like this, Blake almost felt like a cat. Automatically, though, Yang wondered if she was crossing a line. She stopped her hand's repetitive motion. Treating Blake like a cat was wrong. Blake had insisted she didn't like it. And Yang hadn't been thinking, as usual.
"Sorry, Blake," she whispered guiltily. She was screwing up so many things.
"…Huh?" came the quiet and slightly confused response. Blake turned over onto her back to look up at Yang questioningly, golden eyes reflecting the light of the holoscreen in the darkness like two little mirrors. "About what?"
Yang hesitated. "Well…" she sighed. "Uh, I was petting you. And you said you didn't like that kind of thing but I just…wasn't paying attention, and I'm sorry." She looked away, creasing her eyebrows. "I'm really sorry. I've been so stupid, and I keep messing up, and –"
"Yang?" Blake interrupted her remorseful rambling with concern. "It's okay. That…that wasn't crossing any lines. It was pleasant, I promise."
"It…was?" Yang was slow to catch on, not quite understanding why… But then she realized –
"Yeah. You were just stroking my hair, right? Nothing to it." The bookworm sounded patient and genuine, and Yang realized it was herself who had made a mistake in judgment. She was so worried that she was beginning to be stressed about the smallest things and wrongly attributing fault where there was none. Her anxiety was starting to make her feel guilty about everything.
"…Oh. Yeah…right." Yang attempted a sheepish smile, scratching the back of her head briefly. "Heh. My bad. I was just concerned for a sec there. But I guess it's all good."
Blake tilted her head a little. "It is." She observed Yang thoughtfully for a moment longer, but then she turned to continue watching the movie.
Yang, however, found herself watching Blake. The Faunus really was interested in the film, and Yang supposed she, herself, would have been too if she had been feeling like her normal self. Blake's cat ears twitched every now and then, picking up on the tiniest sounds and unconsciously responding to the air that Yang softly exhaled every time she breathed out. And every single time, the lilac-eyed girl couldn't help but be enthralled.
"Blake?" she murmured.
"Hm?"
Yang hesitated, and although she figured she already knew the answer to the question she was going to ask, she built up the courage – or the audacity – to ask it anyway. "Can I touch your cat ears?" She immediately regretted it, of course. Obviously, that was a sensitive subject to Blake and the Faunus had, at several occasions, made it clear that her feline appendages weren't to be touched. Or rather, it was because she had refused so many times that Yang guessed it was a delicate topic.
Blake carefully rolled onto her back again, staring up at Yang with an indecipherable expression on her face. It took a few seconds before she finally said, "Alright."
Yang blinked, stunned. "What? Really? 'Alright?'" Blake was going to let her…?
Blake deliberately sat up, back turned to the holoscreen and facing Yang diagonally. The movie was entirely forgotten just as the characters started to gently kiss, and Blake took a deep breath in before exhaling. "Yeah… You can touch them." And when Yang just sat there without moving, Blake bowed her head a little, exposing her cat ears to Yang's sight fully and emphasizing her accord.
Yang managed to unfreeze and ever so hesitantly raised her hand. But the closer she came, the more Blake seemed to grow tense, cat ears leaning backwards. In fact, when Yang's fingers were mere inches away, it occurred to the extrovert that Blake was holding her breath and kept glancing up at the approaching hand nervously, jaw clenched and fingers balled into fists on the carpet.
And suddenly, Yang paused. This…wasn't normal. That Blake was showing so much apprehension – fear, even – made it dawn on the brawler that the bookworm might have experienced something traumatic. And Blake's past refusals made more sense now. A lot more. Someone had hurt Blake, had treated her feline appendages with enough brutality to leave lasting repercussions.
Yang dropped her hand, saddened. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I didn't realize it was that bad." She looked down. "I wouldn't have asked if I'd known."
Blake seemed to literally decompress, her relief was so evident. Nevertheless, the reserved girl met Yang's gaze. "Yang…I know you won't hurt me." She reached for the blonde's hand with both her own and raised it to the level of her eyes before inciting Yang to stretch out her fingers, palm facing Blake. Yang watched, concerned and intently focused when her girlfriend tilted her head forward again. She tried to be as still as she possibly could. Part of her still didn't understand how Blake could trust her like this, but…she was determined not to hurt the poor girl, especially not physically.
So when the top of Blake's head pushed gently against Yang's hand, the blonde continued to not move a muscle, letting Blake rub her head against her palm until Yang's fingers brushed the furry feline members naturally. Yang's eyes widened a little. "They're so soft…" she marveled, amazed. Blake let go of her hand, and Yang finally touched the cat ears on her own. They leaned backwards – still as a sign of Blake's tension – but Yang made sure to be extra careful. She was all kinds of honored and thrilled to be able to finally caress them. "Blake, seriously. This is so cool." The tips of her fingers glided along the edges and then followed the shape of their backs. The fur really was incredibly soft – even more so than the silk of Blake's raven locks.
The Faunus didn't respond, but she did seem to relax gradually under Yang's ministrations. And when Yang lightly scratched their bases, Blake sighed and even pushed a little harder against Yang's hand. Yang recalled what her partner had explained to her about what happened when she was particularly at ease, but she doubted she'd be able to get Blake to purr again – not at the moment, anyway. Yang supposed there was still too much fear in Blake's heart for purring…but the sociable girl swore to herself she'd get Blake to do it again eventually. Not because it was super cat-like – no, Yang just wanted Blake to feel that comfortable around her regularly. She deserved to feel that way.
But unexpectedly, Blake straightened up all of a sudden and looked at the holoscreen like a deer in the headlights, causing Yang to let go of the Faunus' cat ears, and said in disbelief, "Oh, my God, are they really going to have sex?"
Bewildered, Yang turned towards the movie, too, and upon noticing the intense make-out session, couldn't help but let out a laugh. Blake's reaction had been so instantaneous, she'd clearly still been partially listening to the film despite everything else. "So innocent, so pure," Yang teased, fetching her scroll. "Here, let me skip it."
"It just seemed inappropriately early," Blake countered, somewhat defensive as she crossed her arms and gazed up at the ceiling – anywhere but at the holoscreen, actually – much to the goofball's amusement. Nonetheless, Yang managed to skip to the next scene before the present one became too steamy and flustered her companion's sensibilities.
"What about all that smut you read?"
"I do not – how even dare you. I'm offended."
Yang laughed and pulled the bookworm into her arms – and onto her lap – for a purposely smothering hug, tucking Blake's face against her neck and wrapping her arms around the girl tightly enough that she couldn't move away – and Yang continued to snicker while Blake struggled to escape.
"Yang Xiao Long, I will –"
"Say the magic words!" Yang sing-songed between giggles.
"You absolute pain –"
"Nope! Those aren't magic at all."
Blake seemed to give up on fighting the brawler's embrace, shoulders slumping in defeat. "This isn't so bad. Maybe I'll just stay here."
Yang grinned. "Nice try, but I know you want to watch the movie."
"Fine. Let me try something else." There was a pause, and then Blake started tickling Yang's exposed midriff.
Yang's reaction was immediate. She howled with laughter, releasing Blake and batting her hands away to make them stop. Blake started chuckling, too, and Yang feared she wouldn't relent, but it seemed she had mercy. She didn't go very far, though. No, Blake just turned and leaned her back against Yang's chest, resting her head on the blonde's shoulder and getting comfortably seated between her legs. Yang was momentarily uncertain about how to handle the proximity, but then she tentatively snuck her arms around Blake's waist, linking her fingers over the Faunus' abdomen, and decided that it wasn't too awkward after all. Actually, it was…kind of nice. One of Blake's hands found both of Yang's and started drawing small patterns on her skin while Blake's right cat ear brushed and flicked against Yang's jaw. It pulled another smile from the golden girl, and Yang resolved to actually try and pay attention to the movie and enjoy it with her girlfriend in her arms.
In fact, she wanted Blake to know that she appreciated this. Therefore, Yang captured Blake's hand in her own, holding her companion closer and turning her head to kiss the bookworm affectionately just below her cat ear, and then on her temple, too. Blake seemed to get more comfortable, and Yang relaxed further, actually feeling…more at peace now, like she really could focus on the movie – and on Blake, who seemed reassuringly soft in her embrace. This was special.
…Blake was special. It was the least Yang could do for her.
When Blake and Yang had taken the elevator up to Headmaster Ozpin's office at around five in the morning, they hadn't been expecting to find him there. It was five in the morning, after all. Nobody was awake at such an ungodly hour at the beginning of summer vacations – unless they had slept all afternoon and for part of the evening beforehand, of course. Which was the same thing as saying unless they were Blake and Yang. Because the couple had done that. Unfortunately.
Apparently, Headmaster Ozpin hadn't caught the memo about vacations, either. The girls were rather quite shocked to see him standing by window that served as a wall behind his desk, back to them and sipping away at coffee. The rising sun provided enough light to illuminate the spacious chamber, and Yang found herself looking around – just as she always did when she entered the place. It all looked so…grand and complicated with the huge rotating gears that acted as a moving ceiling. To be honest, it fascinated Yang. Being a more hands-on individual, enjoying building stuff and having built her own motorcycle all by herself – Bumblebee – the mechanics of the clockwork-like gear system was somewhat of a marvel to her.
But not as much as touching Blake's cat ears. That had been entirely unique in its own right, so much so that Yang still couldn't quite get over it.
"Headmaster Ozpin?" Blake called out, tentative as the couple slowly approached the metal and glass desk side by side. "You were expecting us."
Ozpin turned away from the window and regarded his two students in vague surprise as they came to a stop nearby. "Miss Belladonna and Miss Xiao Long. I know I asked to see the both of you as soon as possible…but this is quite a mark of…zeal."
"We may or may not have been awake all night," Yang provided helpfully, sheepish as she scratched the back of her head. She suddenly wondered if it was possible that their little excursion had been found out. She doubted the consequences would be all that awful, and she didn't feel all that guilty anyway, but sometimes Ozpin seemed to just…know things.
"Our aura levels needed to be recovered, so we slept for most the day yesterday," Blake added, much more composed and calm than Yang was. Sometimes Yang couldn't help but admire her partner's ability to stay completely cool under pressure.
…It was probably one of the reasons why she had been selected to be RWBY's leader while Ruby was out of commission. Yang still had difficulty accepting the news.
"Yes. Of course. Very well, I suppose that brings us immediately to the purpose of your presence here. Do take a seat, both of you." Ozpin walked over to his desk and set his mug down, picking up his larger scroll instead. He tapped in a few commands before continuing, "If you don't mind, our conversation will be recorded for the sake of documentation – just as it was last time. Standard procedure."
"We understand," Blake acknowledged. Yang glanced at her as the two girls sat down on the chairs in front of the desk, but didn't say anything.
After a moment, the headmaster put his scroll down on the desk again as he took a seat as well, but it stayed active, showing that it was now recording. Ozpin paused, and then gazed at the two young women, expression indecipherable. "Miss Xiao Long."
Yang straightened.
"Your teammates, Weiss Schnee and Blake Belladonna, have already recounted their versions of what happened on your end of year assignment. I would like to hear yours now. From the beginning, please."
"Alright." Yang fidgeted a little, jogging her memory. Unfortunately, doing so instantly put her in a bad mood thanks to the fight that had gone all sorts of wrong at the Grimm-infested facility. She sighed wearily. "We left Beacon early in the morning, um, two days ago? I was in charge of our sleeping bags – and, uh, bringing a lighter. Which I forgot. Anyway. Ruby, Weiss, Blake and me got on the aircraft. I chatted with our crew during the flight, to get to know them a bit and stuff."
She kept talking, reliving the mission in her mind as she did. Her favorite part was finding out that Blake could purr. And although Yang understood that she wasn't supposed to withhold any information, she did omit that small part. She didn't know if Blake, herself, had told Ozpin about it, after all, but if Yang had to guess, the Faunus didn't want anyone knowing about that…quirk. It took a while, but without any interruptions Yang did eventually get to the section of the story that she despised the most.
"I saw her almost right away – Raven Branwen. The woman who abandoned me at birth. She was near the building, shouting orders to the huntsmen. I guess they worked for her. There was, like, a dozen of them. I got angry – really angry." Yang exhaled slowly, feeling her heart pounding in her chest. The mere thought of Raven infuriated her. "The Grimm were everywhere, and it was impossible to get to her, especially with those traitors stopping us – stopping me. And when she saw me, she tried to leave through one of those portal things she uses. There was no way I was letting that happen." Yang clenched her fists. "But the stupid huntsman – he just wouldn't get out of my way. The next thing I knew, Ruby was dashing full speed at my mother and I was screaming because I couldn't warn her in time. And Raven – she…" Yang took a shuddering breath in, doing her best to control her fury. "She just stepped to the side and tripped Ruby. And Ruby hit the wall at, like, a hundred-fifty kilometers an hour." The blonde had to stop speaking for a moment. She was shaking, almost violently so. "I told her not to do anything reckless."
Blake suddenly grabbed hold of Yang's hand firmly, and the brawler blinked, reminded that she had an audience…and that she was being recorded. She again tried to calm herself, and anchoring herself to Blake's hand, managed to succeed to a certain extent.
Headmaster Ozpin regarded them without saying a word, without revealing a single thing he might have been thinking. He just waited patiently for Yang to continue.
"Raven escaped. I almost killed one of her huntsmen, and I sure as Dust took out my anger on the Grimm. But then there was some explosion that blew up half the building. It was hard to find my teammates after. And when I found Blake, and I saw Ruby…just laying there…" Yang's eyes were burning fiercely again, and the urge to go find her little sister was making itself very much known. "I just…I stopped. I didn't care about anything else anymore. I guess I shut down. The next thing I knew, I was in the hospital in Vale." Red-tinged irises met the headmaster's collected regard. "Did you know Raven, Professor? Do you have any idea why she would do this?"
Ozpin was silent for an instant, and then he took his mug of coffee and took a slow sip. Before he could say anything, though, headmaster and students heard the elevator door slide open. They turned and saw Professor Goodwitch enter the office. She paused when she saw there were guests, but apart from narrowing her eyes, she let nothing show if she was surprised to see them so early. She came forward, taking out her work scroll.
"Good morning," she greeted them in no particular tone. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything?" Her piercing green eyes seemed to briefly focus on a space between Yang and Blake, and both girls suddenly realized they were still holding hands. They let go, and Yang was intensely tempted to glance at the nearest clock. As a side note, it appeared she had indeed been talking for almost an hour.
"Glynda. Perfect timing, as usual. You aren't interrupting. Yang just finished with her version of how Team RWBY's mission took place. Coffee?" Ozpin moved towards the pitcher as he made the gracious offer.
"No, thank you." Professor Goodwitch went to stand on the opposing end of the desk and faced the girls. "Do continue where you left off. I may still be able to provide help and take notes."
Yang shared a look with Blake, and then took a deep breath in to calm herself yet again. "I was just asking about Raven. Raven Branwen – my uncle Qrow's sister. I want to know why she did what she did."
Glynda arched her eyebrows, but it was Ozpin who spoke. He leaned himself back in his chair, linking his fingers together in front of himself and looking thoughtful. "Raven was a very driven young woman – she didn't let anything stand in her way." He motioned towards Yang, "I dare say you are similar in that regard. But one of the defining traits of Raven's character was her steel. Where your father, Taiyang, would risk his life for his teammates, even at the expense of failing a mission, Raven would sacrifice them instead if it meant achieving her goal." Ozpin allowed time for the information to process. He took another sip of his coffee and continued, "She did change over the course of her time here, seeing the importance in teammates and allowing herself to relax sometimes. It made her a more effective fighter."
"She was the deadliest in our class," Glynda added, neutral. "Perhaps, even, one of the most dangerous and successful huntresses Beacon has ever trained." She rolled her eyes. "It must run in the family. I loathe to bring him into this discussion, but Qrow was the only one who could really stand up to her in battle. And we know how powerful you, yourself, are, Miss Xiao Long."
Yang didn't know how to take the information she was receiving. It wasn't quite the answer to the questions she had asked, but it definitely told her more about her biological mother than she had ever learned before. She wasn't entirely certain she liked what she heard, though. Also, Professor Goodwitch had been in Raven's class?
"How is this pertinent to the mission?" Blake suddenly asked, and Yang was grateful for the Faunus' presence, forever keeping the brawler grounded and knowing when it was time to step in.
Ozpin sighed. "I'm afraid I can't answer the questions you asked me, Yang. All I can tell you is that Raven never did anything without good reason, and she killed more Grimm than most other students did on a regular basis. Make what you will of that information."
Yang clenched her fists again. Her uncle had said almost the exact same thing, and for the life of her, Yang could not imagine anything that would excuse harming a huntress in training and ordering for her and her teammates to be killed. And it certainly, certainly did not excuse abandoning a baby shortly after giving birth to it. It didn't matter what Headmaster Ozpin or Professor Goodwitch – or Qrow, even – said. Clearly, Raven wasn't the same person anymore.
"Are you okay, Yang?" Blake wondered with concern.
The brawler unclenched her fists and looked back up. "Yeah. I'm fun-freaking-tastic. Is there anything else you needed, Professor, or can we leave?"
"No. That will be all. I apologize, Miss Xiao Long, for not being of more use to you. How is Ruby?"
"Auric coma," Yang replied gruffly. "I was about to go check up on her with Blake."
"I'm sure she'll be alright," Professor Goodwitch offered with surprising sympathy. "Your sister has proven herself to be capable of a great many things."
Yang didn't respond. She appreciated the words, but coming from a teacher, they didn't really feel personal or truly caring. They were…hollow, only permitting a surface-level reassurance.
"Thank you for listening to us and for your help," Blake suddenly spoke up, emotionless. "Before we leave, though…" Yang gave Blake a surprised look, wondering what she could possible have to say, but the Faunus only firmed her jaw. "Since Yang and I will be staying in Vale for an indeterminate amount of time – and so will Weiss, once she returns from Atlas – the three of us are volunteering for border patrol for the summer. It will do us good to stay in shape while we wait for Ruby to recover."
Yang stared at Blake without really comprehending for a moment. She knew what border patrol was…and she didn't necessarily have a problem with it…but why had Blake just decided that without consulting her? Had she even warned Weiss?
Professor Goodwitch started tapping on her scroll – probably entering their names into the patrol program. "Very well, Miss Belladonna. Thank you. I will send your team's sector assignations and schedules to your scrolls later today. Do take care."
Blake nodded and then stood from her seat, quickly imitated by Yang. The two headed towards the elevator and out of Headmaster Ozpin's office.
Thank you for the reviews and stay tuned for the next chapter, dear readers!