He remembered the entire time with a clarity that surprised him. They had not really done all that much. Their clothes had been mussed but in place. It was still the most intimate either had ever been with anyone.
It had been after almost a half hour of heavy breathing that Raven had called a halt and they had both gone to bed. Even then, he had found it difficult to fall asleep but that was soon remedied and once suitably relaxed he drifted off quickly. After what seemed like only a few minutes the alarm was dragging him out of sleep. He had set it for 6:00 AM in anticipation of Raven's 8:00 AM appointment. Showering quickly, he stumped downstairs and after shamelessly stealing two cups of Robins automatically brewed coffee, he made a light breakfast for himself and Raven, put on some water so it would be hot for her, and sat to await her arrival. In spite of his anxiety and two cups of strong black high caffeine brew, he was asleep in his chair, head hanging back and his mouth wide open, when Raven came into the kitchen.
Raven saw what he had done and that he was waiting for her and she felt overwhelmed. For a long moment she stood quietly, looking at him in his current ridiculous posture and was simply overwhelmed. She wanted to kiss him awake or run upstairs and shake Starfire out of bed with the story of the incredibly sweet thing he had done for her. None of those things happened. She was still Raven, so she just stood for a moment and looked at him and fought the stupid urge she had to tear up. After a deep, calming breath she stepped in and gently unhooked his finger from where it still rested in the ring of the half full mug. She touched his shoulder and said "Gar, wake up." She realized that she had spoken without thinking about it and that the whole question of what she would call him had been settled.
After a moment's disorientation, he smiled wanly at her and said, "I fell asleep."
"I see that," she said, turning to get the plates he had prepared. "Thank you so much for this."
"No problem," he said. "Gross. I think I drooled on myself."
She laughed a tiny bit and shook her head as she sat down. "Really, this is so nice. Thank you."
He made a dismissive gesture. "No big." They ate in silence for a while. "So," he asked, "how are we getting there?"
She shrugged, "How do we get anywhere? Fly, of course."
He nodded, "Fine with me. I just though that maybe you would want to do something, you know, less obvious."
She grinned, which surprised him. "So our rabid public wouldn't find out what we're doing?"
"Yeah, but I'm starting to think you couldn't care less."
"I told you before," she said, "I don't give a damn what anyone says." It occurred to Beast Boy that many people say the words Raven just had but it was almost always a lie whereas in this case it was absolutely true. "I don't care if people think you've gotten me pregnant or that we're a bad example to the youth because we're young and shacked up and doing it like bunnies every night. We know the truth and our friends do too and the hell with everyone else."
Beast Boy said in a stunned voice, "You are so hot right now."
>> >>
Karen Brock was not an especially happy person. She was middle aged and divorced with two kids to care for. She was past her prime and a little overweight, hindrances that would not have stopped her from getting some kind of male companionship had it not been for her personality, which was unpleasant, and her unconscious disdain for men, a quality left over from her bitter divorce.
When Dr. Jenson had insisted that she come in early on this particular day without any explanation, her orders had been met with a great deal of displeasure. Getting up early was something she did not care for and when forced to, it made her even more disagreeable. Still, she needed her job and so she drug herself out of bed and into work early, grumbling the entire time about her good nature being taken advantage of. At least on this bleary eyed drive, she had something pleasant to think about. The previous Saturday night, she had sent her kids to their grandmother and gone to a bar. After several drinks she had met a very nice looking man about her own age. He had said his name was Bill and they had exchanged numbers. He hadn't called yet but that did not deter her. She was more then willing to make the call if he didn't.
Dr. Jenson was already been in the office and they brightly greeted each other in the manner of co-workers who detest one another. "Karen," the doctor had said, "we have a very unusual patient today. That's why we're in early, so she could come in with no one seeing her."
Karen's interest was immediately piqued. "Really? Who is it?"
"One of the girls from the Titans, Raven," the doctor said. "We've been requested to accommodate her due to, well, the obvious."
"What is she... I mean what do I need to set up for?" Karen asked.
"Biopsy," Dr. Jenson said, with a hint of distaste for her nurse's unseemly enthusiasm. Karen took the hint and quickly got the examining room ready.
When she was finished, she stepped out back to smoke, having been told by the doctor their patient would be arriving there. After a while she saw them, a pale, oddly colored girl with a blue cloak billowing out behind her and a black nimbus surrounding her. There was also a bright green eagle flying next to her. She had often seen them from a distance, flying or in some fight, but she had never seen any superhero up close. The girl settled gracefully in the middle of the parking lot that faced the rear of the clinic and the eagle swooped low, flared it's wings and changed suddenly into a lithe, green skinned boy. He landed softly, taking a few steps to halt his momentum. She couldn't take her eyes off his emerald green complexion. Karen saw that they boy spared her one glance before stepping close to the girl and speaking softly. Then they both turned towards her and smiled, the boy wide and fake, the girl tight and unwilling. "Um..." Karen said, unsure of herself, "I'm with Dr. Jenson's office." She turned and held the door open for them.
"Thank you," the girl muttered. The poor thing must be nervous, Karen thought, which was natural. That was easy to understand, but what was curious to her was why this boy had come with the girl. She was having a fertility test, which was unusual in a seventeen year old. She led them into the examining room.
The doctor came in almost immediately. "Karen," she said diplomatically, "why don't you take, um..."
"Beast Boy," the green youth said.
"Yes, why don't you take him into my office and let him wait there?" In what even Karen found to be an endearing gesture, the odd boy had taken the equally unusual girl's hand briefly before leaving the room. He followed her to the doctor's comfortable office and took one of the chairs. He sat quietly and only shook his head 'no' when offered a drink.
The procedure went quickly and as soon as she was out of the stirrups, the girl was on her feet getting dressed. It turns out, as Karen had learned during the brief procedure, that the purpose of the visit was to get a sample to be sent to an advanced lab in Metropolis. The doctor had led the girl into the office where the boy was waiting and she closed the door while they conferred. Karen noted especially that the boy stayed in the room during the patient conference.
Once she was alone, Karen took out the business card Bill had given her with his number on the back and re-read the front. Superheros were news and every little bit helps, she thought to herself as she dialed his business number at the newspaper.
>> >>
Outside, in the employee parking lot, Beast Boy felt very uncertain. He felt flustered and nervous and had no idea what he should say, or even if he should say anything. It seeming the safest, he didn't say anything. Raven looked at him and also had no idea what to say. So, she hovered slowly into the air. Beast Boy took the hint and transformed into a large raptor. They flew silently back to the tower, side by side, and as they began to descend she veered off. She landed lightly on the roof instead of going all the way to the ground. Beast Boy followed.
She stood, gazing out over the ocean. He stood next to her and gazed at her. "You want to be alone?"
"I don't always want to be alone," she said in a monotone.
"I know that," he replied, "but..."
"I know this is asking a lot," she snapped, "but can we just be up here?" She sat down, her feet hanging off the edge and her eyes fixed in the distance. "Can we just be quiet?" Beast Boy diffidently sat down next to her. He didn't know what to do with his hands so he clasped them in his lap. Raven reached over and took his wrist, lifting his arm and slipping under it. He took the hint and put his arm snugly around her. She leaned against him and they sat quiet for a long while.
>> >>
That morning in the tower, after Raven and Beast Boy had gone, the remaining three members gathered for training at Robin's insistence. It gave them something to do other then worry. The time had come and gone when they could have gotten back but Robin wasn't concerned. He let them have their privacy. The training was interrupted by a phone call. "Titan's Tower," Robin said.
"Yes, this is Bill Keeney with the Herald," came the reply. The Herald was the city's largest newspaper and the one that had printed the story after Beast Boy and Raven's first date. "I was wondering if I could speak to the girl who calls herself 'Raven' or the boy who goes by 'Beast Boy'?"
"They aren't available," Robin said, his stomach sinking. "What is this regarding?"
"I just wanted to verify a tip I got, maybe get a statement."
"I may be able to help you," Robin said, his stomach sinking. "What's the tip?"
"Ok, good," the reporter said. Robin heard some shuffling of papers. "Who am I speaking to please?"
"Robin."
"Right, um... is it true that Raven and Beast Boy went together this morning to see an ob/gyn?" Robin didn't answer and the reporter waited a moment. "Hello?" he finally asked.
"I'm still here," Robin said shortly.
"Are you going to answer or should I put down 'no comment'?"
Robin took a deep, calming breath. "The Titans do not comment on the personal lives of it's members."
"Is Raven pregnant?" The reporter knew perfectly well that she wasn't. The girl from the bar had said enough for him to know that but leaving that titillating possibility open was far more interesting.
"The Titans do not comment on the personal lives of it's members," Robin repeated.
"Are the two members of your group publicly known as Raven and Beast Boy involved in a relationship beyond being co-workers and co-habiting in your headquarters?" Robin didn't answer for a moment and the reporter chuckled. "I'll put 'no comment' for that too. How do you respond to charges being leveled from some quarters that five minors living together is..."
Robin never heard the rest of the question. He had slammed the phone down and cursed under his breath.
>> >>
It was strange and uncomfortable for Beast Boy to sit so long without moving or speaking. His only movements were to occasionally look at Raven's face where she rested it on his shoulder. She didn't react when he did it. He wasn't even sure she noticed as her gaze never left the ocean horizon. It was a long time, subjectively, before she spoke. "What if I am?" she asked quietly.
Beast Boy didn't answer immediately. He thought carefully and said, "You'll deal with it," he said. "What else is there?"
"I know that," she said in a slightly annoyed voice. She sat up straight, breaking contact with him and turned slightly to look at him. "Of course I'll deal with it, but how? What does it mean?"
"I don't know," he said quietly. "I wish I did." Raven shook her head slightly but didn't reply. He thought she was annoyed at him for saying something so obvious and stupid. It made him feel defensive. "Sorry," he muttered.
"For what?" she asked. He shrugged. "No, don't do that. I want to know."
He took a deep breath. "I just... I'm sorry I don't know what to do."
She actually grinned cynically. "You think there's some magic words you can say or some magic wand you can wave?"
He became a little annoyed. "No, but... damn it, Rae! We're doing this... thing we're doing and I'm totally confused. I don't know what to do and I want to help."
"Hey," she said, taking his hand, "calm down. It's OK. You're doing fine." He looked down instead of at her. "Look at me," she said gently. When he did, she let go his hand and touched his cheek fleetingly. "You're doing fine," she repeated.
"I am?" he asked. She nodded. He stared at the ocean for a moment and then said, "That's all I want."
"That's all you want?" she asked, slightly amused.
A brief grin came and went on his face but he didn't turn to look at her. "No." After a moment he went on. "You gonna ask me what I do want?"
She shook her head. "Not yet."
He nodded as he stared moodily straight ahead. "You were just trying to talk and I managed to make things about me. So, back to your question, I don't know what it means. I know it's a damned shame and I hate it. I also know that I probably can't understand what it means to you."
Raven shrugged. "I don't know. I think I'm too young to really get it. It's almost as if I have to try and be upset when I'm really not."
He turned and looked at her. "Don't do that. Feel like you want to."
"That's the thing. I want to be sad, like Starfire. When I told her was so upset that she had to leave the room. I've never seen that before. I'm just not." Beats Boy nodded, hoping she would go on. She did. "It's not that I don't care or that I don't think about it, but damn it, I'm 17. I've taken on a big job and that has to come first. I'm just now having my first real... well, you know, with a guy" Beast Boy grinned slightly, "and having kids was so far away. It's not part of me right now and loosing it just isn't that awful."
"But you weren't exactly happy when we got up here."
"I said it wasn't awful," she said, "not that it isn't bad."
"So," he said, "we table discussion of it for now?"
"In a second," she said. "I just want to tell you that I really meant what I said before. You've been great. You've really helped."
"Good. I'm glad."
"Now, moving on, I have two items I would like to address." He looked at her in surprise at her formality but saw the merriment in her eyes. He gestured for her to go on. "First, this morning, when I woke you up, I called you 'Gar' without thinking about it. So, I have decided to call you that."
"I hate that name," he said with a grimace.
"Tough. You're stuck with it." He rolled his eyes. She went on, "Second, in this conversation we both stumbled over labeling our involvement. That's silly."
Beast Boy sighed in exaggerated annoyance, "You women, always wanting to label and define things. Can't we just be happy?"
"Shut up," Raven said off-handedly, "I think..."
"You can't just tell me to shut up!" Beast Boy said.
"I just did," she replied.
"And I want it on record that I didn't do it."
"Duly noted," she said dryly. "May I continue?"
"No."
"I want it on record that I'm ignoring you, too."
Beast Boy couldn't stop the chuckle that produced. "Noted."
She looked at him intently for a moment. The air of humor that their banter produced faded. Then she asked quietly, "Are we serious?"
"Yes."
"Are we exclusive?" she went on.
"Oh, yes," he replied. "So we're dating?"
"No. We are not. I hate that word. It seems so.. juvenile and dumb. We're in a relationship."
"In that case," he said, "I reserve the right to call you 'baby'."
"Only when we're alone," she said grudgingly.