His alarm went off at six am on a Saturday morning for his early shift.

Groaning tiredly, he twisted around in bed and slammed a hand down on the clock to shut it off from it's ear-splitting screeching. Then he forced himself up, made his bed, and grabbed the plain navy blue shirt and trousers that consisted of his uniform.

Another day, another monotonous routine of getting to work.

Only this time, he found himself grinning as he slipped into his shirt and fixed up the collar around his neck.

The events of the evening before ran through his head like a flash of lightening, heating up his insides; How she shivered in the cold, how good she looked wearing the over-sized overcoat. A slight hazy mental blank though as they had went for coffee and then- feeling an intense urge to run after her... to explain somewhat, although he couldn't exactly quite tell what he'd felt the need to explain for.

Then, kissing her. The sudden impulsive compulsion to.

Her lips, soft and warm, as they moved against his. He felt the blood course through out his veins, heated and warm, at the memory.

He couldn't remember the last time a girl had actually allowed him to kiss her. Then again, he'd never really wanted to feel close to a woman before, until... her.

He'd always been alone. Keeping his distance, never allowing anyone to fully step inside, to see what was underneath his skin. Yet now, he felt ready for someone to see the true him. He felt ready to take chances. Somehow, he just had this firm belief that she'd 'get' him, that she was different from all the others.

After sitting down in the empty kitchen in silence, eating his breakfast, he checked the time on his watch and hastily got to his feet, gathering up his dirty plate and cutlery. Time to work. And then-

Barely reaching the sink, he took one glance at the messy peanut butter and jelly smeared knife and all the small bread crumbs on the plate while absently thinking about all the mess ahead of him that he had to clean up in the animal cages, and...

His hand shook, the plate clattering loudly into the sink as his fingers lost their grip. The muscles and tendons in his jaw shook and clenched.

When he finally emerged, he took a deep breath through his nose and stretched, cracking all the stiff joints in his body, elongating his muscles. He reached for his glasses out of the left breast pocket of his shirt and rubbed a small speck of dust off the lenses before sliding them on, a crease forming between his brows and forehead.

...

Casey walked slowly down the street on a warm fall day, her mind on what had happened the night before, her chest filled with butterflies. The constant thoughts of warm, chapped lips pressing against hers, of slightly rough and calloused fingertips, of piercing blue eyes... they wouldn't seem to leave her.

This was different. She'd never felt so loopy over someone she barely knew before. But the fact that Kevin was seeing the same psychiatrist as her- the fact that he obviously had just as many issues as her and was potentially as broken and damaged as she was, it made her feel reassured.

For some reason she wasn't feeling as hopeless as she normally did. For once, she felt almost as of there was an exciting reason to keep on existing. She was beginning to feel that maybe she wasn't as alone in the world anymore.

As she reached her destination, the plaque that read 'Philadelphia Zoo' came into view.

She wasn't entirely sure what she was doing, turning up at the place where he worked, but seeing as she hadn't gone to the zoo before and- unable to resist the chance of spotting him working while she was there- she decided to take her chances.

Casey pushed a stray tendril of dark hair behind her earlobe before entering, curiously inspecting her surroundings. Even during the somewhat early morning hours, it was actually fairly busy. A group of children were walking around with two women, from what she gathered was a school trip excursion.

Wire cages lined a brick wall with what appeared to be primates and other exotic creatures.

It was only when Casey spotted a pair of tigers pacing back and forth around a cage that she stopped to watch them, enthralled by their movements. The tigers were large magnificent beasts filled with orange and black stripes. Each lap they did around each other, they brushed and collided against the wire fence, fur bristling up against it.

Casey stood there, mesmerized at the fearsome beauty of the pair. It gave her an odd thrill, standing close and observing such majestic predators.

Survival. Tigers represented survival to her.

She heard a group of kids laughing and for some reason, her gaze was drawn elsewhere. A group of teenagers, both boys and girls, around what she thought was probably the ages fourteen or fifteen, were sitting on a bench talking among themselves. That's when her eyes landed on the tall figure behind them. A man in a basic navy uniform was holding a broom. When he turned, that was when she saw his face. The organ in her chest felt as though it had stopped beating momentarily.

Kevin.

While he had told her he had worked at the zoo, it still surprised her. He must work as a maintenance man or cleaner. He was wearing a pair of dark-rimmed glasses- the very last things she'd expected him to be wearing considering yesterday he hadn't worn them at all. He also wasn't wearing that too-big-for-his-face warm grin that he had had for her either.

Nervously, she swallowed, watching him from afar as he worked. She was uncertain whether to approach him or not, because... with every second that passed on by, it became apparent by the way he held himself and his demeanor that he wasn't in a particularly warm or friendly mood.

In fact, she caught him sending the group of young teenagers a rather menacing, glowering look while he worked on sweeping up a few rustling leaves and dirt that had blown into the zoo from the wind, the space between his eyebrows and middle of his forehead pinched together and puckered.

A moment later, something must have mysteriously drawn Kevin's attention to her, because without warning, he'd glanced straight in her direction, right at her, while his sweeping movement with the broom decreased dramatically to a halt. Her stomach muscles seemed to clench.

Maybe she'd been foolish to even imagine it, but she'd thought his reaction to seeing her appearing at the place where he worked would have been a little more... positive. Casey had imagined him breaking out into that wide smile of his as he had last night, his sea blue eyes getting lost in the stare of hers. Especially after that kiss they had shared together.

In complete contrast, the reception from his side at recognizing her standing there was a little frosty and unwelcoming.

He simply stared at her for a heartbeat, then turned around, returning to his diligent sweeping of the zoo floor again. It was as if he had no memories of their time last night whatsoever, considering how easily he'd disregarded her.

While admittedly she had only just met Kevin last night and barely knew much about him at all, for some reason she never thought he'd ever be so rude and hostile as to ignore her. Was he angry at her or something? Had he wanted to pretend meeting her had never happened in the first place?

Before she lost her nerves, Casey inched closer towards where he was sweeping; another shimmer of giggling escaping the teenagers that sat gossiping on the bench. Even just observing the straightness of his back and spine, the way he held himself as he swept, Casey couldn't help observing a noticeable difference there.

"Kevin?" she finally called sheepishly, close enough that all she would have to have done was simply reach up with her hand and she would have been touching him square on the back of his navy shirt. She saw the material was straining against his broad set of shoulders with every movement he made to sweep.

He did not stop moving around and sweeping, even as she thought she saw him tense and stiffen slightly at the sound of her voice.

"Listen, I don't want no trouble here," he retorted without even bothering to glance behind his shoulder at her. "I'm just tryin' to go about my day."

"No, Kevin, it... it's me, Casey, from, um... last night? Yesterday?" She frowned when she thought she heard him sigh loudly through his mouth as he used his free hand to reach up, scratching around the back of his scalp and beneath his neck. "You told me you worked here, so I guess I just..." She faltered insecurely, her heart sinking," I... thought I'd drop in and check it out."

She heard him clear his throat curtly, and then Kevin turned around to peer down at her through the shining disks of his glasses. Again, there was no shining sense of recognition in his gaze or expression for her. It was unnerving. Had he really forgotten her that easily?

Casey had wondered what he'd look like without that beanie on. Now she knew. For some reason she'd pictured he'd had a lot more hair under there that what there was. His hair was short, cut close to his scalp.

She caught his eyes zoom around their surroundings, as though he were suddenly paranoid that someone would catch them associating with each other. Then, as he met her gaze again, he said in a voice unlike she remembered he had spoken in last night, "What are you doin' here?"

His voice definitely sounded different, Casey wasn't being paranoid. It was lower, with a slight accent that made him sound a bit more rough around the edges.

She definitely was not expecting him to react this way.

She stepped back a little as he raised his eyebrows at her, his expression still so stern, so severe. "I... I just told you," she murmured, unsettled. "I...I thought I'd try to surprise you and show up here to-"

"-You shouldn't be here. Kev-" He stopped suddenly, shaking his head, his eyes flitting closed. Like he was embarrassed by what he had just been about to say. Then he licked his lips, slowly reopened his eyes, and peered down at Casey again. "I know what you're tryin' to do. You mightn't think I do, but I know." Fingers still gripping tightly the handle of the broom, he raised his other hand, tapping his index finger to his left temple, "I'm smarter than you think, believe it or not."

It sounded as though he was warning her cryptically, and it gave Casey pause. What was she trying to do, other than build a friendship with a man she thought was supposedly friendly and kind?

"I know this is just a game to you, this is you ridiculing us," he went on, his teeth clenching as he spoke lowly through them, eyes squinted harshly down at her, "Well, I'm used to being the protector in these types of situations and I'm not gonna let you cause any hurt."

He thought she was ridiculing him and that she was deliberately going to hurt him? What the hell had caused him to assume that, Casey wondered furiously, blood draining from her face at his remark. When had she given him the impression yesterday that she wasn't being sincere when he'd asked her out for coffee? Where did his assumption even come from in the first place?

"You're not welcome, you understand?" he continued, and even though he didn't raise his voice, it still cut as deeply as if he had. "You're wasting your time, when there are far greater things out there than you could ever have dreamed of existing. It's far better than you and any friendship or whatever it is that you are offering. And it's coming soon, and you're not needed."

She could see- by his hollow, cold expression- that he was set in his ways, that he would believe no different from her. Casey had decided long ago that she wouldn't try to prove her worth to anyone, that if someone actually wanted to know her, then they'd make the first move and effort. If Kevin had now decided he didn't want to know her out of some misguided assumption that she was 'playing him' or 'ridiculing him' even, then fine. It hurt, and it cut through her chest like a knife, but why try prove herself to him when he clearly believed different apparently?

Last night's incident at the coffee shop flew back to her, before he'd kissed her. How he'd acted cold and lashed out over the fact that she'd accidentally split coffee froth over his overcoat that he let her wear to keep warm. He was practically being that same person from last night- the polar opposite from the Kevin she had met in Dr. Fletcher's clinic, who had been so warm and open.

Why should she waste her time on someone who apparently had mood swings every so often, being rude to her? Maybe she should have stood her ground and drawn the line last night.

Casey felt her eyes well with tears as the rejection stung brutally. She'd experienced rejection pretty much all her life; in high school, by her peers. Why would now be any different? Why had she ever gotten it into her brain that Kevin might have been different?

"You know what, Kevin," she lashed out, that same defensive mechanism coming into place that was always there, even in high school, to cope with the rejection and how much of an outsider she felt compared to everyone else, "You can go blow yourself for all I care."

Without another word and before she could let her vulnerability and hurt be seen, Casey turned, darting out of the perimeters of the zoo hastily.

It was only when she'd reached the corner of the street that she let the tears spill down her cheeks, once she was alone, away from his eyes seeing how much his rejection had slain her. She sobbed as she reached the sidewalk, ignoring the strangers on the street that stared at her curiously due to her outburst.

Red hot, impulsive vicious urges flooded through her as her go-to-response made its way up to the surface while she yanked down her sleeves past her hands, using them to wipe away at her wet cheeks furiously. She'd spent so long responding to every rejection, every new hurt and pang of loneliness with pain, with self-mutilation, that she almost felt herself succumbing to it again.

It was only Dr. Fletcher's technique of mindfulness that grounded her and centered her back down to earth as she gritted her teeth, breathing deeply. Focus on five things surrounding you, had been the strategy Dr. Fletcher had taught her during their first session for whenever her cutting urges struck. Five things. Pedestrians. Lights. Cars. The smell of gas from running cars, chatter from people talking in the street-

With one last shaky inhale, that malevolent urge lessened a little, though the need to harm herself was still there below the surface.

What had she been thinking anyway, in letting herself get her own hopes up? Just because someone was in therapy and appeared potentially just as troubled psychologically as she was, it didn't mean anything.

...

Casey sat in the waiting area for her appointment with Dr. Fletcher half an hour early, her foster mom having dropped her off on the way of having to be somewhere else. The waiting area had a few modern couches and some mindless magazines spread out on a coffee table to read while waiting. She'd just plucked one up and rested it on her knees in order to distract herself from her restless thoughts when she heard the door to Dr. Fletcher's room open and voices.

"OK, I'll see you next week at our next appointment," she heard the doctor say gently to whoever her patient was warmly, "But if it happens and it gets too overwhelming again, do e-mail me to schedule an earlier appointment as soon as possible, Kevin."

Kevin. The name alone made her wish she could sink and vanish through the floor as it brought out a painful clench in her heart.

"Will do, Dr. Fletcher." She heard his rather despondent and lethargic voice, and it made her heart ache even more and burst with a fresh gaping hole of rejection. "Thanks a whole lot, I appreciate it."

"Anytime, Kevin. Always." The door shut gently and then she heard footsteps. She knew exactly who those footsteps belonged to.

Intent on ignoring him, Casey quickly turned her attention to the writing on the page of the magazine as she caught his shadow in the corner of her eye. Truthfully, she wasn't really invested in what was written in the magazine. She just never wanted to speak to him ever again and was determined on doing so after how rudely he'd treated her when she had shown up at the zoo.

"Long time, no see," she heard him murmur as his footsteps grew even closer in the waiting room, his voice oddly pleased, as if he was happy and relieved to see her. She had no doubts it was her he was speaking to when he sank down into the chair next to her. She could practically feel his blue-eyed gaze burning holes into her skull. "Where've you been hidin'? I was wondering where you had gotten to and whether or not I'd be seeing you again."

Casey had tried to stubbornly keep her eyes on the magazine, to not respond to him in anyway whatsoever. Give him the silent treatment until he got the picture. Yet she failed, instance he spoke. Kevin had the nerve to sound so surprised to see her, and yet so confused at the same time.

Was he joking after how he'd reacted to her turning up at his workplace? Was this all a huge joke to him?

"Please just... just don't, Kevin," she managed in a flat voice, allowing herself one small glance up at his face quickly.

He wasn't wearing his beanie this time, she observed, but a grey T-shirt and jeans. She also took in, with some curiosity, that he was staring at her with wide, confused eyes, his mouth slightly agape. He was a good actor, she had to give him that. He genuinely looked confused by the anger in her voice.

"What- what's going on with you?" he muttered, and she caught the thick coating of shaky worry in his tone.

"Please, you already know."

"No. Did I, uh, do somethin' to hurt you or offend?" He gripped both arms of the chair he was sitting on with his hands and Casey actually saw that they were trembling.

She almost scoffed and rolled her eyes bitterly at his comment as she slammed the magazine shut, tossing it briskly on the table carelessly. Her eyes burned and stung with fresh tears. "Spare me the act, Kevin. If you had decided you didn't want to actually get to know me in the first place, then you should have just been honest straight up with me." Her voice went high and uneven with her pain. "You didn't need to pretend and ask me to go for coffee."

"What? I, uh..." She caught out of the corner of her eye Kevin release his grip on the chair, then he dropped his head in a hand. She heard his breathing begin to grow quicker, shallower. When she turned her head, she saw his hands were still shaking as he rubbed around his scalp and around his forehead with his fingers frantically. "What'd I do?"

Again, he had the nerve to sound so convincingly lost and confused. But this time, Casey caught the panicked edge to his voice, the fright.

"Did I...I hurt you?" When Kevin slowly brought his head out of his hands to look at her, she saw the anguish in his blue eyes, the raw concern in them as he peered around her face warily.

It didn't make any sense to her at all. When she held his stare, analyzing his expression, it occurred to her a second later that maybe he was actually being genuine. He truly was concerned that he had hurt her, and... if that were so, then... did he truly not remember what he'd said to her at the zoo that day?

"You really don't remember what you said to me?"

His brows furrowed as he seemed to think Casey's question over deeply for any recollection, his breathing still harsh sounding to her and unsteady. "What'd I say to you?"

"I... I went to see you at the zoo, because you... you told me you worked there." Casey felt as though she was going to break down into tears simply even speaking of it, but she tried her hardest not to.

"Yeah, I-I do work there," he confirmed unnecessarily, his tone anxious.

"But you also practically told me that I... that my wanting to be around you was me playing a game and that I was ridiculing you." She watched Kevin's face carefully for any sign of recognition or remembrance on it. Surprisingly, there was nothing of the sort. He only continued to breath in a panicked, fast way, his eyes intent on everything she was telling him. "You were pretty much telling me between the lines that I was a liar who doesn't truly want to be friends with you, that I'm nothing..."

"I-I said that?" There was an excruciating long moment of silence where Kevin simply sat there, swallowing what she'd said down as he tried to remember it.

Casey remained silent, determined not to allow herself to cry yet again over it and let her true hurt feelings show.

Kevin dropped his head in his hands again, covering his eyes. Casey could still hear him inhaling and exhaling out deeply.

"I'm sorry, but I, uh... I honestly don't remember any of that," he finally said after what seemed like an hour had gone past between them. When he dropped his hands from his face and glanced over at her, Casey noticed how ashen his face had gone. "I swear to you, Casey, I honestly don't remember sayin' anything like that to you." His face scrunched up in distress as he peered into his eyes deeply, "Hell, I... I don't even remember heading to work last week. I mean, I remember getting dressed and eating breakfast and all, but... I think that was on a Saturday morning?" He shook his head at her slowly, "What... what day is it right now?"

"A, um, Wednesday?"

"A Wednesday?" He repeated, making a face at her in disbelief. "You serious?"

She nodded once.

"For real?"

"Yes, Kevin. It's Wednesday."

He made a panicked noise as he slapped a hand to his forehead audibly, and it was then Casey started to truly feel unsettled. He wasn't lying or pretending, she realized. No one could truly be that good an actor.

"And you, uh... you came and visited me where I work?" he murmured slowly, and he sounded touched by the fact that she had. The fact that he did, the aching amount of warmth in his voice for her, like that Kevin she'd met the first time she'd ran into him in the building...

Casey felt her heart spasm as she stared back into his eyes. His eyes shone and reflected back at her with... tears? Was he truly that affected by the fact that she had bothered to come to see where he worked?

Her anger and bitterness over his rejection had softened, turned into an unnerving feeling of fear and anxiety that seemed to equal his. He couldn't be faking it, Casey thought. He genuinely couldn't seem to remember her visiting him or him even heading to work.

She suddenly recalled what he had told her after flipping out in the cafe after buying her a coffee, how he'd remarked about losing days... and times. Had he experienced this often? Was that what his life was always like?

"I remember we, you know..." Kevin stopped, and Casey only needed to look at his face and the way he rubbed his fingers over his mouth to know what he was referring to between the lines. How they'd kissed. Apparently that part wasn't missing from his mind, and she felt her cheeks go hot. "And then thinkin' about it... and even on Saturday morning while getting dressed for work, but then... that's it. I don't remember work at all, just... thinking about it and like how I'd like for it to happen again."

Casey wasn't entirely sure whether he'd meant to admit out loud that he'd wanted to kiss her again but she couldn't deny she was both relieved and happy to know that he did, especially after how he'd been so closed-off and cold to her when she'd visited him at the zoo that morning afterwards.

"I never meant to hurt you. Honestly." And she could see that he meant it.

She caught herself staring at his mouth absently with her dark eyes, wondering what he'd do if she was brave enough to lean over, right there and then, in the waiting room of Dr. Fletcher's building and kissed him, long and hard enough to ease his stress and confusion.

Only when Kevin turned his wet, frantic eyes on her again and she noticed them drift down to her lips, she'd just moved halfway in when the door to Dr. Fletcher's office opened and her voice drifted between them.

"Casey, hi. It's fantastic to see you again." Casey sprang back into her seat and she was fairly certain Kevin did the same when Dr. Fletcher spoke again, this time directing her question to the man beside her concernedly, "Kevin, are you OK? Is there something you need to come back in and discuss to put your mind at ease?"

Casey watched as Kevin frantically wiped his eyes with the palm of his hands before getting to his feet, a loud sniff escaping him. "I'm doing great, Dr. Fletcher. You know how it is, we're great." Casey could tell he was feigning it and she wondered if Dr. Fletcher could too when Casey stood slowly from the chair, stepping towards the open office door.

She saw the look of gentle warning Dr. Fletcher exchanged with Kevin before she brushed past her, moving inside for her session.

Thank you all so much, hope this one wasn't to OOC. Love to know your thoughts and so humbled, thank you :)