Autumn was cold, the wind bitter and cutting through my layers of clothing. Even the short distance that it took to get from houses to cars or cars to buildings was too far. People were hurrying between buildings, huddled in coats and their heads bowed to the breeze. I looked across the window in my office to see Jack Dalton sitting in his office. Looking at him, I had the thought that the weather outside matched his mood. Grey clouds hung heavy in the air and threatened rain, enough to linger at the back of your mind and niggle all day. There was something on Jack's face that made me think that there was something else that was niggling at the back of his mind.
He, Mac and the rest of the crew had returned from a mission only a week ago. That mission had been a bit of a mess overall. Nikki had made a reappearance, claiming that she was a CIA agent, and trying to get back with Mac. On top of that, Sarah Adler, the one person that Jack had thought for a long time that he would marry, had gotten married and not to him. The final messy piece was that the former director of the Phoenix foundation, and a friend to us all, Patricia Thornton turned out to be a traitor. It had been a mess of a mission and a mess for everyone emotionally.

I looked away from my computer screen, staring blankly at a middle distance as I tried to work out the best way to word what I was explaining. I needed to get the right spot between smart enough to sound knowledgeable and not too scientific that no one would understand what I was saying. It was then that I heard a loud bang and I looked over at Jack. Through the glass walls of my office and into his I saw him lift his fist off of the desk and shake it a little. He huffed at the computer in front of him and then rubbed at his temples. He didn't notice me watching him, and slowly rested his head on his arms. This wasn't normal behaviour, even with his absolute dislike of writing reports. Not much would make Jack punch an inanimate object, however Jack wasn't very open with negative emotions, preferring to bottle them away. I had a feeling that this minor outburst was the start of a very large dam breaking.
I checked the time and sent off a quick fire text to my partner. I finished off more of my report while I waited for his reply. I think I spent more time sneaking glances at Jack than actually working on the document on my computer. I snatched up my phone when it sounded, reading the reply from Mac. He said that he was free, not sure about the others, and that he was sure the new director wouldn't mind if they took some time out.
The new director, Matty Webber, had known Jack from a while back. Though she seemed like a bit of a hard ass, she was caring.
I shut down my computer and threw a coat on over my work clothes. With a determined mindset, I walked to the doorway of Jack's office and knocked before opening the door.
"Jack, doing much?"
"I, umm," he ran a hand over his face. "I was just, working on this report?"
I got the feeling that he had been spending the better part of the last few hours stuck in his own head rather than actually working on the report.
"Mac's just finished some work, and I'm done with my report." I told him. "We were going to take a break at the little coffee shop down the alleyway. Want to join us?"
It was a risk. Hanging out with his friends could improve his mood, but the fact that it was with me and Mac might remind him of his own singleness.
A small frown furrowed his brow, before he sighed and looked at me.
"You know what? Why not, a change of scenery could do me some good."
I smiled at him with a nod.
"Come on then, put your jacket on," I encouraged him.
He shook his head at my enthusiasm and stood up.
"Why the hurry?" He shrugged on his leather jacket and we walked to the elevator.
"Mac's waiting for us." I said simply. "Best not to keep him waiting too long. There'll be a pile of paperclips otherwise."
That got a genuine laugh from Jack as we approached MacGyver.
"What's so funny?" the blonde asked with an amused look.
Jack actually laughed harder, worryingly bordering on hysterical.
"I just imagined you, with a pile of paperclips. Like up to your neck in paperclips, man." Jack choked out.
"Right. Jack, I think you need a coffee." Mac told him, shaking his head.
"I think he needs more than just coffee," I muttered.

We were sat in a small café, decorated with comfortable chairs and mismatched furniture. Mac had spotted a small table with a group of chairs next to a quietly burning fireplace.
Like the excited child he could sometimes be, Mac ran ahead to secure our spot, while I snagged a couple of menus from the counter.
We chatted aimlessly while we decided what to order.
It wasn't until our drinks and an array of danishes and cake were placed in front of us, that Mac got serious.
"I know this last mission has been a bit of a mess, for all of us." He started.
Jack snorted at that comment. "More than a bit, brother."
"True," Mac conceded. "I just wanted to see how you were going?"
"I'm good. Going as well as can be expected," Jack replied instantly.
I pinned him with a glare. Jack looked at me, and I stared back at him. Jack broke eye contact first, lifting his cup for a drink.
"No one could be good after what happened," I said to him. "Mac still startles wakes with a thousand what ifs running through his head."
"Okay, there are a few things that still worry me." Jack admitted. "I'm not a Brainiac like you," he nodded to Mac, "but I do find myself wondering if things had gone differently. Not just with Patty but with other things too."
I looked over at Mac, who looked at me before looking back to Jack, who was now trying his hardest not to look at either of us.
"Jack," I said, "It's okay to wonder. We all do it. Even I've been doing that recently. I hate to admit it, but Nikki showing up really threw me."
Jack nodded slowly. "I can't imagine her reappearance would have been something you wanted."
I laughed dryly. "No, I wasn't happy about it. And I wasn't happy that Mac didn't tell me as soon as she made an appearance either."
Jack looked over at the other person at the table.
"You didn't tell her?" he asked in surprise.
"I was a little preoccupied at the time," Mac mumbled into his coffee. "It wasn't a big deal. Even when she tried to start something again, I wasn't interested."
"Man, your crazy ex reappearing while you're away on a mission is definitely something you should tell your current girl. Even I know that." Jack said in exasperation.
"That's what I told him," I smiled at Jack. It was a brittle smile; I was still a little bit upset.
Mac reached for my free hand under the table, linking our fingers.
"I know for the future," he said. "Not that I'm hoping for Nikki to reappear again."' He added quickly.

We let that topic drop and our conversation drifted for a while.
Jack was munching on a plate of brownies in front of us. He was eating them with some enthusiasm, which was good to see.
"These are some damn good brownies," Jack stated, mouth half full. "Not as good as Sarah's but still plenty good."
Mac made an interested noise and Jack continued.
"Don't know what it was about hers. She musta put something in them. They were just gooey enough, and had this awesome creamy alcohol taste to them. Seriously, I should get the recipe off her." Here he trailed off, lost in his own thoughts.
"Bailey's brownies," I said. "It sounds like she added bailey's to them. Either poured it over or added it to the batter."
"Adding it to the batter would cook the alcohol out, right?" Jack said.
"Yea it would," I confirmed.
"Then nah, she poured it over. Sarah wouldn't cook the alcohol out of anything," he laughed a little.
He lapsed into silence again for a moment.
"I can make Bailey's brownies for you one day, Jack," Mac said gently. "They won't be the same as Sarah's but we can try."

"I have a question for you both," Jack said after a few moments.
Mac looked up from the little contraption he was building from sugar packets, straws and a spring that had appeared from somewhere unknown.
"Go on," he encouraged.
"How did you do it? When you two met you couldn't even tell her that Phoenix wasn't a think tank. You came home more often than not with bruises and disappear for days on end with little to no explanation." It came out in a rush, like Jack had been thinking over this for a while.
"Well, you're right about the coming home covered in bruises thing," I said wryly. "I worked out pretty quickly that Mac wasn't that clumsy."
"I'm not clumsy at all. Former EOD tech, remember?"
"I've seen you first thing in the morning, sweetie," I replied.
Jack nodded while Mac shook his head.
"Honestly Jack, I'm not sure. I looked at all the possible options that could get her into the loop as soon as possible. Other than that, I just hoped she would trust me and that I'd get back in one piece after each mission." Mac shrugged a shoulder.
"You've got yourself one fine girl, Mac," Jack said, before turning to me. "I'm not sure why you stayed when we couldn't tell you what was going on. I know that you knew, you're smart. But I'm glad you did."
I smiled, hiding a blush behind my coffee cup.
Now that Jack was talking he couldn't seem to stop. "I thought what I had with Sarah was good. She knew what I did, and she could share where she was going with me. We worked well together, hell we worked almost as well as you and me, Mac. I don't know what happened?" Jack trailed off miserably.
"You two kept it together despite the secrets and I couldn't even hold onto my girl when we had full disclosure."
The older man stared despondently into his coffee cup, like the black liquid could answer his questions.
Mac and I shared a look, not quite sure who should take the lead on this conversation.
"You and Sarah were good together," Mac started. "I've read the reports and I saw you both in action last week. There was something there, and Sarah obviously still holds you close. She invited you to her wedding. BUT, maybe what you had in common was the problem."
Jack looked up at Mac like he was going slightly crazy.
"Let me explain," Mac continued. "With all the craziness in our lives, maybe Sarah wanted something boring and dependable. Our lives are unpredictable and often dangerous, and perhaps Sarah wanted the opposite in her private life. Maybe she is lying to her husband a little bit about what she does, but then he doesn't worry about if she will come home."
Mac stopped and looked at Jack, seeing if he was taking this in. Jack's eyes were a little unfocused as he stared into the distance.
"Okay," Jack said finally. "Okay, I think I get that. Or at least I can see where you're coming from. But if it's hard to have a relationship with someone who can't say what they do, and the people who have similar jobs want something dependable, then what chance have I got?"
It was a fair question.
"You have as much chance as the rest of us, Jack," I told him honestly. "We were lucky. I met Mac and I found my perfect person. Even with all the secrets, there was a part of me knew that Mac was, to be totally cliché about it, the One."
I smiled at the blonde next to me, and he smiled back. I could see the love he held for me, and knew he had felt the same way.
"I probably never told you this," I said quietly, "but I had been single for probably six years when I met Mac. My last relationship ended when I started Collage, and looking back it had been a pretty terrible one at that. I had given up hope of actually finding anyone worth dating, I had thrown myself into my work. It was pure chance that I came across this one." I squeezed Mac's hand gently.
"Anyway, what I'm saying is. Your romantic relationships don't define who you are as a person, and no matter what society says or what other people want to make you believe, not being in one is just as okay as being in one. You have people around you who love you and care for you anyway. In all your stubborn, karaoke singing, Bruce Willis loving glory."
I let that sink in for a moment.
"What if I don't ever meet someone?" Jack asked softly.
"Then you don't meet someone," Mac replied. "That's not to say don't try. Go out on dates, have some fun. But if it doesn't work out, then it isn't that big of a deal."
Jack started pulling apart the paper napkin on the table, shredding it as he thought about what we had said.
After a couple of minutes I could see that Mac, who was always doing something, had started to get fidgety. I squeezed the hand that I was holding and he started to draw patterns on the top of it with his other hand.
At length, Jack slowly stopped massacring the poor napkin and looked back up at us. There was something unreadable but vulnerable in his eyes.
"I always wanted a family," he said, "but that might be a dream too far for the sort of work that we do."
"It might make the white picket fence dream a bit difficult," I agreed. "But you can try."
"And if it doesn't happen," Mac added, "You still have a family. You've got me, Riley. You're a bit like a father figure for Riley, Jack. And a brother to me."
Jack looked a little taken aback by that.
"I'm not that old, brother," he joked. "But in all honestly, thank you. I guess I do go a bit protective on you guys. It's nice to think you see me in the same way."
"Always, Jack. We all care about you."
While he had been talking, Mac had procured a paperclip from somewhere. He was fiddling with it, having taken his hand out of mine to do so. He slid the finished product across the table. The paperclip had been twisted into an infinity symbol.
"Thanks man," Jack said, picking up the paperclip. He looked at the time, and finished off his now cold coffee.
"We should probably head back, before Matty sends a search party out for us."
I drank the last sip of coffee from my cup as well.
"She'd get Riley to track your phone first," I commented.
Jack and Mac both laughed as we left the coffee shop, Jack looking better than he had in a while.