A/N) RECOMMENDED: LISTEN TO A SAD SONG TO SET THE SCENE!
If you don't really know any, try 'Wake me up when September ends' by Green day, 'Terrible things' by Mayday Parade, 'If I die young' (Preferably the male cover), or just... any Tokyo Ghoul song. (E.g Glassy sky, White silence...) Don't own any of these songs.
Sorry, I just had to throw this in here. It's in Peter's perspective BTW.
I feel like my ears have been stuffed with cotton wool. I can no longer hear anything, but the muffled cries of my own voice. It tears me apart. How did I become so weak? How did I become so alone?
I want to blame someone... but there is no one to blame besides me. I did this... it's all my fault. I could have stopped it, but I was too selfish. I was out playing hero, too embarrased and scared to talk to her. I could have stayed... I know that I could have. The world is not so reliant on Spiderman as I think.
I should just leave saving people to the Avengers. They are older, and more qualified, and they don't let anyone close to them down. I will never be like them... I will never be strong, or nice, or kind.
I am evil. I might as well be a villain. In fact, I probably already am. All those people... Jameson, half of the world and all of the other superheroes. They are right... I am a menace. I should stop this, before even more people get hurt because of me. I will cut ties with Flash, and all of my teachers and classmates, and I will live my miserable life on the streets like I deserve.
I do not deserve death, that is too easy. I would be with the people whom I do not deserve, and whom are too good for me. I should live a painful and terrible life forever onwards.
I keep blaming things on Parker luck, but it is clear now that it was me all along. After all, Karma doesn't work unless you have done something terrible, and I have done plenty.
It is my fault that My parents are dead. They left because they knew that I was some kind of monster. I know this now. A needle pierces my heart.
It is my fault that uncle Ben died. If only I had stopped that thief when I should have. Instead, I let my uncle die right before my eyes, before I could even apologise. But I know now that I do not deserve forgiveness. Another needle pierces my heart.
It is my fault that officer Stacy died. I could have stopped the Lizard from killing him. I could have just not given that formula to Doctor Connors, but I was too selfish to realise what it would do to the city, and its people. I know now that I should not pursue my dreams of being a scientist. I am not qualified, or deserving of it. Another needle pierces my heart.
It is my fault that Gwen is dead. I should have been there faster. It should have been me that hit the floor of that clock tower. She did not deserve this death; she was too kind to go. It is my fault that I let such a pure and beautiful being die. I know now that I do not deserve love of any kind. Another needle pierces my heart.
I am too selfish to be alowed to live a life of peace and love. I will live a life worse than Hell, and I will die a death worse than the devil. This is what I deserve. This is what my life should continue to be, until the day I die. I am deserving of this.
I am too selfish to want it, but I am sentient enough to know that I deserve it. If I am lucky, perhaps, one day, I will be forgiven by the sins I have commited. But for now, I die alone.