Chapter 10
Silence
Ona roamed silently across the sky. Her spherical surface was dented by the bombs. The paint had fallen off in some places. The circular door, the windows and every single joint was black from the fires. She had definitely seen better days.
And yet, she kept on. Damaged, but alive.
The problem was, she was pretty much the only thing in movement for many, many miles. The explosion had turned the world silent. There was not a sound. Not even inside Ona.
That was when Edain opened his eyes.
He was lying on the floor, face up, barefoot and wearing ripped clothes. He could still feel the residual energy from the regeneration, tingling down his veins. He was strangely dizzy, probably a side effect of the regeneration, and he knew he was missing something, but couldn't pinpoint exactly what.
He started checking his new body. Five fingers on each hand. Five toes on each foot. Two arms. Two legs. One head. Two eyes, same size. Nose. Mouth, just one tongue. Short hair, so he couldn't see the colour. The clothes were a bit big for him, so he must be shorter now.
He scanned the room, trying to figure out what had happened.
One of the wall panels had fallen out of place and smashed on the console, damaging about one third of it. At least it wasn't the brakes, or the starting level. The floor and ceiling were damaged too, still partly burning. Jeez, he had certainly made a mess.
And he still couldn't remember what was wrong. He sat up and found Mik still inside his shirt. The monkey fell on his lap, trembling. Edie took him in his arms and realised he was shaking too. What the hell had happened?
"It's alright, buddy" he said, and his new voice sounded so strange he still didn't see the obvious.
"We'll be fine." His voice broke the silence again, and the realisation struck him.
Silence.
Not a single noise. It was so weird, so unnatural, that he almost had to lie down again. He had never experienced complete silence. There had always been something else. A noise in his head, like somebody humming. A sign that there were timelords out there. And it was gone.
He staggered to his feet and stumbled to the remains of the console. Yan was there, scared to death but otherwise fine. Edie lifted him and placed one android on each of his shoulders. Dee was nowhere to be seen.
Edie took a deep breath and switched on the screen. The usual data survey in circular gallifreyan appeared in front of him. But he wasn't in the mood for reading stats.
"Ona?"
His voice was shaking again, but it wasn't in shock. He was terrified.
He noticed something warm on his chest. He looked down in surprise. Emrys had heated up. He would've wondered why, or how, but at that moment he didn't mind.
It will give you hope in times of fear, Olek had said. Well, right now he needed hope. He clutched the pendant with his free hand and tried breathing again.
"Okay, let's do this."
He opened outside view.
At first he thought he'd done something wrong, because what he saw didn't make sense. Then again, the silence in his head didn't either.
There was nothing in front of him.
The place where Gallifrey had stood just the day before was empty. There wasn't even a trace. No rocks, no leftover dalek ships. Nothing.
He closed his eyes, and the last five minutes he had spent conscious replayed in his mind. The message, the crack in the timelock, the explosion.
Gallifrey was gone.
He leaned on the console, shaking from head to toe. It was like the walls of the spaceship were closing in on him. He gasped for air and found himself crying.
Everybody was gone. Everything and everyone. There was only him. Little Edain, with a sphere and two androids.
I am the last one, he thought. I am the last of the timelords.
His knees failed him. He fell on the floor, trembling as if with a fever.
There is no one else, he thought.
And he cried.
He woke up.
He hadn't expected to. He wasn't supposed to.
He supposed he deserved it. He had wanted to die with Gallifrey, and his punishment was life.
He stood up. His old clothes felt weird on his new body. He would never get used to regenerating, no matter how many times he did it. He needed to get new clothes. Something comfortable would be great, but he might keep the jacket. It'd always been too big for him, anyways.
He went to the console. Piloting would distract him. According to the data, he was close to Earth. Year 2005. He'd obviously jumped into the Time Vortex after the explosion, and ended up in one of his most common destinations.
But today Earth was the last place he wanted to be. Just thinking of humans reminded him of Gallifrey. He saw Lune in every woman that crossed his mind. She'd had dark, curly hair, and brown eyes the colour of coffee beans mixed with honey. He didn't even need to close his eyes to see her. Her laugh was like the sun, and her voice rivalled the music of the universe itself. And she was gone. Turned to dust. To nothingness.
He clenched his fists and noticed he was crying. The floor was wet where he had woken up, and he remembered flying out of Gallifrey, escaping through the crack. Crying himself to sleep.
He kicked the console in frustration and cried when the pain struck him. He'd probably broke his hand, but it didn't matter. The physical pain was just a distraction.
The silence was the worst part. His head had never been so quiet. There was no noise, nothing that indicated that other timelords lived. If there was anyone left, they were out of his reach.
His hand had already healed with the regeneration energy. He closed his eyes. He was so tired…
The faces of his children appeared in the darkness. All of their faces, growing and changing. Runa, so strong, so brave from the first day. Ainur, with his imagination and his fantasies, always amazed by the beauty in everything. Thais, his sweet girl. She always had a comforting word. And Edain. Oh, Edie… He had tried to warn him. He'd risked his plan only to send him a message, and he was still gone. He pictured Edie taking off, thinking he would live, and realising he wasn't going to make it. Somehow, that was the worst option.
Just one life! One! Why couldn't he have that? Just Edie, please. He didn't even know who he was pleading to. Please! He didn't deserve it, he was just a boy.
He sunk on a chair, his head in his hands. He cried for a long, long time, until he ran out of tears and his soul was so tired it went numb.
The he rose, squared his shoulders and pursed his lips. Loneliness was his punishment, but nobody else needed to suffer. From now on, he would try to make things right again.
From now on, he would be the Doctor.
In the console room of Ona, Edain cleared the tears from his face. He could see the two suns rising through the windows, and Emrys seemed to capture their warmth, giving him new hope.
It was a new day. A new opportunity. He pictured his family, back when there was no war, no pain, and no worries, and in that moment he knew it would always hurt.
"It hurts because I loved them", he murmured, and this time his voice sounded actually his. "As long as I love them, it will always hurt."
He would make them proud, he thought. He would live for them, so that wherever they were, if they were looking at him, they would be happy.
He held Emrys close to his heart. The pendant shone like a third sun, and finally, Edain smiled.
After all, there was always hope.