It hurts. It hurts so much.
It's a pain she's felt only once before. Just like then she can't think beyond the agony, can only desperately gasp for air.
Part of her realizes that someone is talking but she can't understand the words. There's nothing beyond the struggle to breathe, every gasp more painful than the last. Every breath requiring more energy.
She is so tired.
Glorious warmth surrounds her. It's only then Sora realizes that she's frozen. She tries to get closer to that wonderful heat.
She fails. Her body is incapable of moving.
Someone is breathing, loud and clear. She can feel it rumble all around her, a desperately needed anchor. She somehow matches her own breathing to it on instinct.
Another deep inhale. Another slow exhale.
The agony starts to lessen, just a fraction. She wants to weep with relief.
She can't, has no energy left to spare. She needs to rest.
So she does.
The first thing she becomes aware of is warmth, wonderful and soothing. The second thing she becomes aware of is that the warmth is soft and fluffy. It feels nice.
The third thing she becomes aware of is that her eyes are closed. She doesn't open them, doesn't do anything but savor that delicious warmth.
The warmth is moving. It's going up and down in a steady rhythm. It's also making Noise. Noise that's familiar.
She realizes that the warmth is breathing. That means it's alive.
Wanting to know what the warmth is, she gathers enough energy to open her eyes.
Her vision is filled with black and white. After a moment, she understands that she's looking at white fur dotted with black spots.
The warmth is a dog. Alright then.
Sora closes her eyes and cuddles closer to the dog.
A moist nose touches her cheek. Sora feels her lip quirk in an attempt to smile at the pleasant sensation. The dog nuzzles her cheek again. Sora opens her eyes again. When she does, she sees that the dog is now gazing at her with large and soulful eyes.
Those eyes widen when she meets its gaze, before the dog gives a toothy grin. It nuzzles her cheek again before attempting to get up. Sora immediately tightens her embrace on it. The dog and its wonderful warmth are not allowed to leave.
The dog lets out an amused huff and stops moving. Good.
The very loud bark it lets out isn't good, it isn't good at all. The sound doesn't just hurt her head, it rings in a way barking isn't supposed to.
Given that the dog only lets out one painful bark and then cuddles even closer to her, Sora forgives it for causing her a momentary headache.
She doesn't know how long she lies there. She doesn't care either. She's exhausted, the dog is warm, and she just wants to be.
After what could've been a second or an eternity, she hears a noise. Then she hears another noise. Like... a door opening and closing? Followed by... footsteps?
Something warm touches her head. It takes a moment to understand that it's a hand. Sora opens her eyes to see who the hand belongs to.
It belongs to a woman, standing next to the bed and looking down at her. The woman has long brown hair and bright green eyes. When Sora meets her gaze, the woman gives a gentle smile.
The sight makes her breath hitch because she knows that smile, this woman, she remembers.
"Aerith?"
She's barely aware of the hoarse whisper that escapes her, can't believe what she's seeing because Aerith is supposed to be dead. Her green eyes aren't supposed to widen and she isn't supposed to look like she's seen a ghost because she's supposed to be dead!
Just like everyone else is.
Aerith's disbelieving whisper is even softer than her own.
"Kairi?"
Kairi bursts out crying, somehow finds the energy to heave herself upright and throw her arms around Aerith because she's alive, she thought that everyone was dead but they aren't because Aerith's here and she's alive!
Sora realizes that she's buried her head on Aerith's shoulder and that she's sobbing uncontrollably and she's smelling flowers and something that reminds of the dawn, a mixture that's only ever belonged to Aerith and Kairi remembers playing in the gardens with her and Aerith is alive.
And if Aerith is alive...
"Nana."
Her voice comes out weak and scratchy, muffled in the fabric of Aerith's clothes. Kairi lifts her head to repeat herself, to make sure she's understood because she has to know the answer, has to.
"Nana. Aerith, is my nana here?"
Her nana, her grandmother, gentle hugs and endless stories. Nana has to be alive.
Please, please, please let her be alive.
Aerith's joyful expression crashes with sorrow.
Kairi bursts out crying again and buries her head on Aerith's shoulder, clings to her with desperation because Nana is dead, she'll never hear her voice again, never again be hugged by her, never hear Nana call her little light again and Father will never again call her dear, won't tease her anymore, she won't see him worry over the silliest of things ever again because he's dead, everyone is dead, her entire world is gone.
Again.
Kairi doesn't know how long she cries, is barely aware that Aerith is crying as well. There's nothing beyond the crushing knowledge that everyone she's ever known gone, everyone is dead, she's lost her entire world again.
She can do nothing but weep. Aerith's presence might keep her from shattering completely, but it isn't enough stop her from drowning. Neither is the knowledge that Riku is alive.
Her entire world is gone.
Sora doesn't notice when she falls unconscious again.
The first thing she becomes aware of is hunger. A lot of hunger. Her stomach agrees by letting out a roar.
Someone chuckles.
What?
Sora opens her eyes to see who chuckled. She sees a girl her age sprawled across a chair. The girl has short black hair and dark eyes. Those eyes widen with surprise when she looks at them, before the girl positively beams.
The sight is oddly familiar.
"Kairi!"
Kairi's own eyes widen when she realizes who she's looking at.
"Yuffie?" Her incredulous whisper ends in a squeak as Yuffie launches herself out of her chair and smothers her with a hug. Sora grips her back on instinct, dazed and confused because Yuffie is supposed to be dead.
She's alive.
The realization makes Kairi tighten her embrace, pure happiness overwhelming all else because Yuffie isn't dead! The girl she had the wildest of adventures with, the girl who was always ready to play is still alive! She's here and she's hugging her and Yuffie isn't dead!
Sora realizes that someone is laying behind her when they tighten their arms around her and she's being hugged from all sides and it's wonderful and perfect because Yuffie is alive!
So is Aerith. Sora can smell her unique scent and realizes that Aerith is the one hugging her from behind.
Kairi cries, so overwhelmed by them being here, by them being alive because she thought everyone had died but they haven't, Aerith and Yuffie are here and they're alive.
She doesn't know how much time has passed when she realizes that she isn't the only one crying. Yuffie and Aerith are as well.
All three of them are a sobbing mess. Sora doesn't care in the slightest. She needs to cry, needs an outlet for her emotions, the overwhelming relief that she isn't alone, the crushing despair of having lost her world again, the confusion and loss and pain.
Eventually her tears do dry up, more from exhaustion than anything else. Which also makes her become aware again of the fact that she's still starving.
Her stomach agrees by letting out another roar.
Yuffie chuckles, the sound watery yet bright. Sora feels her start to pull away and immediately tightens her embrace. She won't, can't let Yuffie leave. Not when she's only just found her again.
"I'm guessing you're hungry?" Yuffie asks with red eyes and a beaming smile.
It's strange how Yuffie is both familiar and not. Her voice is lower, more mature, and she looks so different. Which is normal, it's been almost ten years. Even so, it's odd to see her this... grown up. She's no longer the girl Sora used to play with.
But her smile, the sparkle of her eyes, the mischievousness voice...
In so many ways, Yuffie is exactly the same.
"Starving," Sora replies with a shaky smile, her own voice rough and scratchy. Which makes her realize that she's parched as well.
Right now her hunger and thirst are utterly unimportant.
"Yuffie, how are you here?" How is she alive?
"I was about to ask you the same thing," Yuffie returns with a grin, before she smothers her with another hug. Sora definitely isn't complaining. "I can't believe you're here, Kairi," Yuffie whispers, embracing her so tightly it's a little painful.
Kairi hugs her back just as hard.
When she feels Aerith pull away let go and start to sit up, Sora blindly reaches for the nearest part of her. Which turns out to be an arm.
"Don't go."
Aerith, who somehow makes the aftermath of being a sobbing mess look pretty, gives a reassuring smile and squeezes her hand.
"I'm not leaving," she promises, making Sora sag with relief. "I'm just going to grab some tissues. And maybe you'd like some water?" Aerith finishes with the gentle teasing Kairi has so many fond memories of.
"Tissues sound great," Yuffie says as she starts sitting up as well. Sora tightens the grip she still has on Yuffie on reflex to prevent her from leaving.
Yuffie chuckles and continues to shift to a more comfortable position on the bed.
She doesn't let go of her.
As Aerith leans to the side and grabs tissues from a nightstand, Sora pushes herself upright as well. Part of her is beginning to get curious as to where she is but most of her can only keep looking at Aerith and Yuffie.
They're alive.
The three of them clean themselves up in a companionable silence that's a balm after the loud sobbing from before. When they're finished, Aerith grabs a glass of water. She hands it over with a firm warning to take small sips.
"You've been asleep for two days. If you drink too fast, you'll throw it back up."
"Two days?" Sora returns incredulously as she takes hold of the glass.
"Half a day, a brief moment of consciousness, and another day and a half, to be precise," Yuffie says with a smile that's just as playful as Sora remembers. Normally Sora would've demanded more information, except she's just started drinking and can focus on nothing else but the glorious liquid soothing her raw throat.
"Kairi, small sips," Aerith reminds her. With great difficulty, Sora forces herself to not drain the glass in one go. Instead she sips slowly while she organizes her thoughts. Now that her mind is no longer fuzzy and she's feeling a little in control, there are things she needs to know.
The first.
"Is anyone else alive?" She knows Riku is, but did anyone else make it? Wakka, Selphie, Tidus, Vanille, Penelope?
Did Father survive?
"Squall and Cid are here as well," Yuffie answers.
Sora bites down a renewed sob at the confirmation that Father really is dead and forces herself to keep it together a little longer. She remembers Squall. The quiet teen Aerith and Rinoa often hang out with. Cid, however...
"Who is Cid?" The name isn't familiar.
"You don't– of course you don't," Yuffie says. Not helpful.
"He was one of Ansem's researchers," Aerith actually answers. "Cid is the one who saved us when..." She falls silent, apparently unable to say the words.
She doesn't need to.
Sora takes another drink of water, using the refreshing taste to distract herself from her own grief. To keep it locked down. She can't allow herself to break down again.
Not yet.
"Did anyone else make it? From Destiny Islands?" she adds when she realizes that Aerith and Yuffie probably think she's only talking about Radiant Garden. Which also makes her realize that Father might still be alive after all!
"Destiny Islands?" Yuffie asks in a puzzled voice, but Sora is far more focused on the way Aerith's eyes widen with realization.
Aerith's expression falls with sorrow and sympathy.
She might as well have said it out loud.
Sora closes her eyes and bites down her lip as she ruthlessly resists the urge to break down. There are still things she needs to know.
After a few shaky breaths, Sora feels ready to open her eyes again and continue her questions. She briefly debates whether to first ask where she is, or how she got here.
Before she can do either, Aerith asks a question of her own.
"Kairi, what's the last thing you remember?"
Her breath hitches and she can't stop tears from rising once more.
"...Everything," she answers, her voice barely a whisper.
Just saying it out loud makes the memories more vivid. She remembers Nana and her stories, remembers exploring all the nooks and crannies of the library, playing with her friends in the gardens.
She remembers the Darkness.
"How did you survive?"
Yuffie's question pulls her out of her thoughts. Before Sora can finish processing that question, Aerith starts talking again.
"What she means," she says with a warning glance at Yuffie. Who for looks like she's mentally slapping herself for some reason. Then Aerith hesitates like she doesn't really want to continue.
She continues anyway.
"...Kairi, do you know what happened to our home?"
The question makes Sora's breath hitch and she can't help the renewed tears dripping down her cheeks.
"...It's gone." Her voice breaks as she says the truth out loud. This time Sora doesn't try to keep it together, lets herself break down. She has to.
Her grief will consume her if she doesn't.
Both Yuffie and Aerith embrace her as she dissolves into a sobbing mess once more. Sora clings back as she cries her heart out, crushed by the knowledge that both her homes are gone. She'll never see them again, will never be able to return.
But she isn't alone.
Sora hopes that wherever he is, Riku isn't alone either.
...
"Stop looking at me like I'm about to jump. I'm not."
The far too expressive raven gives him a look that clearly says, you better not. Then Diablo averts his gaze and starts grooming his feathers. Good.
Riku returns to watching the... the Heartless.
That's what Maleficent calls them. Beings that have lost their hearts to the Darkness. Beings that destroyed –
Riku clenches his fists as he keeps watching the ever shifting mass of darkness down below. It's physically painful to do so, and his eyes hurt more the longer he looks.
He keeps watching the Heartless a moment longer. Watches the things he let into his world – he turns around and leaves the balcony, returning to the library. Riku doesn't know why he keeps going out to look at them. Why he can't just ignore them and focus on far more important things.
Like studying.
He drops back into his chair and scowls at the pile of open books. He ignores Diablo as the uncannily intelligent raven returns to his previous perch on the table as well and continues his grooming.
It's only the third day since Riku arrived here but already it feels so much longer.
It feels like he isn't doing anything to find Sora. Riku knows that isn't true. For one, Maleficent said that she's working on a spell to find her. Riku still doesn't trust the woman in the slightest of course, and he won't just take her word for it. But she's supposedly working on it. That's something he supposes.
The problem is that he knows nothing of magic. He can't tell whether Maleficent is telling the truth or not. Oh, he's seen her work on the spell that's supposed to find Sora, watched her draw strange symbols crackling with energy. But for all he knows Maleficent is just making some pretty lights and telling him what he wants to hear.
Which is where the studying comes in.
Riku doesn't understand how magic works. He plans to fix that.
Unfortunately, that's easier said than done. When he was shown the huge library and it's many books on magic, he thought it wouldn't be that hard to learn at least the basics of how it works.
As it turns out, he was wrong. The basics are hard. Even ignoring the drawings and arcane graphs he can't make head or tails off, all the books he's skimmed so far require an underlying understanding of magic that he simply doesn't have. It uses terms he has no reference for.
Riku already knows he'll have to ask Maleficent for help. Which defeats the entire purpose of learning enough about magic on his own so he can tell if she's lying or not, but he doesn't have a choice. He isn't capable of learning this on his own.
Wonderful.
He's glad that Maleficent isn't here right now. It bad enough that she's ordered her pet raven to keep an eye on him. Maleficent might say that it's to ensure that he doesn't get lost, or worse, enter a place overrun by Heartless, but it simply feels like she's using the uncannily intelligent Diabo to spy on him.
If Maleficent were actually here right now, he knows her mere presence would aggravate him even more.
Riku knows that he's acting like the antisocial ass Sora always accuses him of being, knows that his distrust and dislike of Maleficent is irrational. She's taken him into her home and provides his every need without asking for anything in return. She's even, supposedly, helping him find Sora. No matter how creepy she is, no matter how obvious it is that she doesn't truly believe that Sora is still alive, Riku knows he should be grateful to her.
He isn't.
Maybe he would be if Sora was here. If his world hadn't been –
Sora isn't here and this isn't his world. Riku isn't in the mood to be friendly. He also isn't in the mood to study, no matter how necessary it is.
The problem is that he feels even less desire to do anything else. Like exploring the castle. Maleficent has already shown him the most important places, but this place is so huge that it'll take days to see everything. Or rather, it would take days if Riku didn't do anything else. As it stands, it'll take weeks. Probably longer.
Because he doesn't care about exploring. Ironic, considering he wanted to see new worlds so badly just days before. Now, however, there's only one thing that makes him go exploring.
Sometimes he can't sit still. Sometimes he can't stop himself from thinking about his world, about everyone he's ever known being dead because of him – sometimes he has to keep moving, has to distract himself just so he won't start screaming. Or crying.
This is not one of those times.
Not yet.
Taking a deep breath, he does his best to keep himself from getting worked up about the disaster that is his current situation. He won't be able to study if he breaks down. Again.
Determined to make some actual progress today, he returns to trying to figure out how magic works.
He won't be able to find Sora until he does.