Kuki gradually rose to consciousness like a swimmer rising from the depths of the ocean. For the first time in a long time he had found peace in sleep. No haunting memories of his father and the lingering phantoms of mourning that pestered him continually. No nightmarish recollections plagued his dreams as his subconscious attempted to come to terms with the emotional and physical pain of his recently endured trauma. He dreaded waking up to face reality.
Where am I?, he wondered. Experiencing a momentary confusion brought on by deep sleep, he tried to remember. The grogginess left him feeling dizzy, bewildered, like he was coming out of a coma.
Keeping his eyes closed, Kuki concentrated on sensations and sounds around him. A comfortably firm mattress pressed against back. A soft cotton quilt securely ensconced his naked body. The droning hum of a window unit air conditioner created a pleasing static buzzing sound in his ears.
Another sound, a faint sigh caught his attention. Then he remembered. In a mad panic brought on by profound grief, he had raced to see Miyu. Getting to her had been the one thought in his muddled mind after Ginshi had died in front of him. The powerful need to be with her had overtaken him, sending him straight to her door. Needing her scared the hell out of him.
Kuki opened his eyes to see her. Extreme darkness blinded him. So he listened more intently to her breathing; the heavy, cadenced breaths of slumber. His breathing pattern synced with hers as he listened to her in the black void surrounding them. He reached out into the darkness, his fingers outstretched, searching for her.
She sounded nearby but his hand contacted nothing. Rolling onto his side, extending his reach, his fingers bumped a solid object. His fingertips slid across the satiny smooth cotton sheet covering her body separating her from him. His palms and fingers skimmed across her body attempting to discern exactly where he was touching her.
His hand cupped what he assumed to be her shoulder. His fingers drifted down her arm, her silky skin sliding under his fingertips. His hand covered hers, his fingers lacing through hers to grasp her hand.
"Kuki," Miyu whispered into the consuming lack of light.
The unexpected sound of her sleepy voice caused his heart to pause then beat faster. Her fingers squeezed his hand.
Such a simple, innocent touch simultaneously soothed him and made his belly quiver with excitement. He scooted closer to her, fitting his body to hers like he had when they had fallen asleep. Her body was so warm in his arms.
His lips pressed to her bare shoulder. Her cool skin heated under his mouth. The pleasant fresh pear smell of her wafted up to his nose. So wholesome. So sweet. Impulsively, his tongue darted out, tasting her skin. He found the flavor of her flesh disturbingly agreeable on his tongue. He licked her again for another taste, his tongue gliding over the curve between her shoulder to her neck.
"Mmmm," she moaned, her body writhing against his igniting a second physical hunger.
Kuki's tongue followed the path of the thick, ropy artery along her neck, savoring the sensation of her blood pulsing through it. His hand released hers, moving back up her arm to her shoulder before sliding across her chest. Growing bold, driven by carnal yearning, his fingers slipped under the sheet, pushing it down until his hand cupped her breast.
"Kuki," she gasped when her squeezed her breast that filled his palm quite nicely.
Pushing the sheet down further, he reveled in touching the silken flesh of her belly. His member throbbed and twitched, rubbing against her buttocks still covered by the eighth of an inch of fabric separating them. He wanted her.
His fingers skimmed over side. The skin felt different; smoother, softer yet there were several odd bumps and folds like something under it interrupting its perfection. An image of the scars he had seen in his dream of her filled his mind.
Kuki sat up, waving his hand around until he bumped the shade of the lamp on the beside table. Robbed of his sight by the blackness of the night, he groped around until he found the switch to turn it on. Blinded once again by the bright light chasing away the darkness, his eyes finally adjusted so he could see.
Miyu lay beside him, the sheet gathered around her waist. She did not scream in offense or rush to cover herself up as he stared at her. The massive scars marred her sides just as he seen them in his dream. The silvery pink flesh, although healed, appeared raw and delicate. Cords of overgrown fibrous tissue ran like large veins across the excessively smooth damaged skin.
"Oh, my god," he gasped.
Her eyes were on his face, observing his expression intently. He had no idea what kind of look he had on his face. He did not find the scars revolting. Astonishment that the scars he had dreamed were real paralyzed his tongue.
"A ghoul almost killed me by stabbing me in both sides with his kagune," she explained without him having to ask. "I swear I thought he was going to split me in half, meeting in the middle. He did serious internal damage. That's why I have these scars. My body prioritized healing my organs over my skin so it never healed properly."
He could tell she was purposely refraining from telling him the name of the ghoul who had done this to her. It was probably for the better. If he heard that man's name right now the rage might overtake him and prompt to run out the door to his death. No matter how much the truth pissed him off, he had no illusions that he was not strong enough to defeat Ken Kaneki.
"I can't hate him for it," she mumbled. "I got what I deserved."
Kuki stared at her silently, watching a smile full of sadness stretch her lips. Imagining what she could have done to deserve such a horrible wound was beyond his imagination. The despondent little grin on her face made his heart hurt. He wanted to hold her, to kiss her, to make the sadness go away. His abdomen clenched, the muscles spasming until he felt nauseated.
"Do my scars disgust you?" she asked, her voice subdued.
"Of course not. We all have scars of some kind," he said, his voice raspy with emotion. His fingers shook as he extended them toward the disfigured skin. "Not all can be seen on the outside."
"The physical ones are easier to bear no matter how ugly they are," she murmured, inhaling when his fingertips skimmed over the sensitive flesh.
"Does it hurt?" he asked, his eyes flickering to her face. She appeared to be in pain, her eyebrows drawn together, biting her lower lip as if to withhold a cry.
"No," she answered, resting her hand lightly over his as he dragged his fingers over the pink skin.
At first Kuki was afraid she intended to push his hand away. When she did not attempt to remove his hand from her body, his fingers skirted over her belly to the other marred side of her body. He stroked her skin softly until she sighed, her eyes fluttering closed.
"Every time you touch me, it's like electricity shooting through my body. Sometimes I get a feeling...this strong urge to..."
"Me too," he rejoined, leaning down to kiss her.
~...~
Miyu took her hand away from his, raising it to his face as he kissed her. She had meant to move his hand away from the scars. Although he had not been repulsed, she had grown uncomfortably self-conscious under his gentle, probing touch.
Her fingers slid over his cheek, his temple, under the straight thick black hair to the hair shaved down close to his head. The super short hair was velvety soft.
He possessed so many contrasts. The hard angles of his nose and chin were dissimilar to the smooth light brown skin covering them. His cold narrow eyes had taken on a warmth she had never seen before when he looked at her tonight. Emotion had seeped into his black, usually affectless eyes, softening them. She liked that look immensely.
Miyu sighed into his mouth when his hand cupped her breast, his thumb caressing her nipple until it became rigid. He kissed her slowly, tenderly, his lips briefly leaving hers before coming back. His fingers brushed over her skin with the lightest pressure, patiently stimulating her.
When she could no longer take anymore of his tentative, almost shy teasing, Miyu pushed him over on his back. She would never mistake him for the submissive type, but he was welcome to fight with her for the dominant position if he wished. She would not object. Straddling his hips, she grasped his stiff, pulsating member in her hand to guide him into her desperately wanting body.
There was no objection from Kuki as she lowered herself onto him. Instead, his hands went to her hips, encouraging her to move. She happily obliged, rocking her hips back and forth.
Miyu studied the man under her. His eyes were closed. His face relaxed and peaceful. His lips were slightly parted, but he was completely silent.
Determined to hear some noise out of him, she leaned forward thrusting her hips down forcefully, sinking him deeply inside of her. His face tensed, his eyebrows drawing together and his jawline tightening. He caught his lower lip under his top teeth, stifling the moan into a low, guttural groan.
Disappointed but not undaunted, she raised her hips until only the tip of him remained inside of her before powerfully impelling herself on him again. This time his eyes flew open, his fingers dug into her hips until his fingernails scratched her skin, and he opened his mouth wide to issue a loud moan that sounded like a howl of pleasure.
Mission accomplished, she settled into using short thrusts, grinding her pelvic bones into his. Although his bursts of sound to relay his delight in her body were brief and muted, she found the noises to be extremely provocative. Drawing a verbal response from the quiet, excessively restrained man had been far more sensually exciting than she had imagined.
At the urging of his strong hands gripping her hips, moving her as he raised his body upward into her, they reached an exhausting, gratifying end.
Miyu lowered her body down onto his, relishing the warmth of his embrace when his arms enclosed her body.
"Is it difficult? Taking the pain of others on yourself, bearing it for them?" he asked, his chest vibrating under hers as he spoke.
"Why would you ask me that?" she questioned him, sitting up so she could see his face.
"Because I know that's what you did for me," Kuki said, tracing the side of her face and her jaw with his forefinger. "I suppose that's why you were the only thing I could think of when I was hurting."
Miyu saw the hint of smile at the corners of his lips before they slowly lifted into a grin exhibiting both sorrow and pity. She did not want his pity, however, his feeling sorry for her seemed to come more from a place of wanting to understand her burden caused by siphoning the emotions of others but not being able to.
He appeared to be sad for her in a strained attempt to empathize but only attaining sympathy. Yet his willingness to try to comprehend what it was like for her to experience heart rending emotions for someone else meant more to her than he would ever know.
"For so many years, I've been so wrapped up in my own pain I couldn't see anyone else's," he murmured, his eyes holding hers. "Thank you for lightening my burden. I'm sorry I've made yours heavier."
"You don't have to apologize. It's what you do for someone you - " She stopped herself short of uttering the four letter L word. "For someone you care about."
"I care deeply for you as well," he declared, gracing her with a genuine smile of happiness.
Close enough to 'I love you' for now. Divulging their emotions did not come easy to either one of them. As long as they were both content with the present state of their relationship, there was no need to press forward into uncomfortable emotional territory and risk ruining things between them.