Living Proof

Hi,

It's been a long while since I last published a Living Proof ... fifteen months. Apologies. Life has been difficult and I've lost my Hachel muse ... completely. I've missed them deeply and I'm glad they're finally back in my life. I had this idea when I was struck into traffic a few days ago. My writing is a little rusty, apologies.

The story takes place two months after "Two Stories" and it's February.

Enjoy your reading, it's as much for me as it's for you.

Ju.

Living Proof

17.

Snow had fallen during the night. It gave the impression that everything was frozen in the present. The earth of yesterday was hidden beneath a spotless white blanket, like a new page. The murky clouds were masking a ghostly-like morning sun and their breath was coming out as pale as linen against the numbing air. The park was immaculate and silent. Somewhere, a branch cracked and snow dully fell on the ground. The only witnesses of their passing were the prints – two pairs of adult boots and one of a child. A small ring was drawn into the snow regularly beside the longest prints.

They were walking slowly, holding each other's hand loosely. Cuddy was wearing her gloves and House had his scarf wrapped around his neck. Rachel was wandering further up the path, looking around, playing with the snow and not paying attention to them at all. She had wanted to go to the park after seeing all the snow through her bedroom window. They'd taken a quick breakfast and gone out early.

"This is beautiful" Cuddy said quietly. She nudged him with her shoulder "do you still wish you hadn't gotten out of bed?"

"Depends on what we could have been doing" he answered. House didn't look at her but she saw the mischievous smile on his lips.

"You could have been reading me something" she continued, thinking about the new Allende book he's bought her "I like your voice when you read Spanish."

"Flattery won't get you anywhere"

"That's where you're wrong, Mister Huge Ego"

Her attention drifted to Rachel who was coming back in their direction. Cuddy readjusted her bobble hat and smiled at her rosy cheeks. The girl looked up and ran her tongue on her cold lips when House said her name. He put a finger against his mouth and slowly knelt, placing a hand against her back to show her where to stand.

"Look over there" he whispered. Cuddy and Rachel looked in the direction he was pointed at.

"I see him" Rachel whispered with a big smile.

"Me too" Cuddy said in a hushed voice.

The squirrel raised his head and sniffed the air. House, Cuddy and Rachel were perfectly still. The squirrel suddenly disappeared behind a branch and reappeared quickly. He jumped down the tree and ran to a bush, leaving small footprints in the snow. Rachel turned and smiled joyfully.

"Can we go see the tracks?"

Cuddy watched them all the time they observed the tracks and took several pictures with her phone. She could hear them talking quietly and loved that he was so eager to share his knowledges with Rachel. She thought about the last two months; the efforts he's made hadn't gone unnoticed and she had had time to think about her own behaviour. A few days after Hanukah, she'd surprised him with an intimate diner, having asked Wilson to babysit Rachel for the night. It had been a tensed yet enjoyable evening. Talking openly about their relationship and what wasn't really working had been difficult. They had talked sincerely until late into the night, until they'd felt the need to prolong the dialogue in the darkness of the bedroom where no words but their whispered name were pronounced.

She knew the cold wasn't helping much and that his leg had been acting up more than usual lately, but Cuddy couldn't help frowning when she saw House wince when he stood up. She approached and joined the conversation. House took her hand and laced their fingers. Their shoulders were occasionally touching as they walked. Cuddy said nothing but felt that he was reassembling his thoughts. When he finally spoke, his voice soft, serene.

"I don't remember a time when I was like Rachel"

"Perhaps that's the reason why you're good with her. You give her what you've never had" Cuddy answered softly.

They walked without talking for a moment. He was clearly lost in thoughts again and by the way he was unconsciously squeezing her hand, Cuddy knew they weren't good ones. She respected his retreat and kept an eye on Rachel.

"How can I be good with her when all I know is my own childhood?"

House frowned and bowed his head, releasing the tension that has encaged his chest. She gave him a small almost casual smile.

"You're trying" she said eventually. House looked at Rachel who has started building a small snowman "I make mistakes, House. Hell, I'm even scared I'm gonna screw up. But it doesn't mean I'm not a good mum"

"You are"

She smiled again.

"And you're a good man"

Cuddy stopped walking and turned to face him. They have never talked about it, about "dad", but tacitly knew it wasn't something they could decide on their own. It was, above all, Rachel's choice and for the moment, having a Howse in her life was enough for her. Cuddy smiled and playfully touched his slightly red nose with the tip of her gloved finger.

"What do you want to say?" she asked "I'm in a good mood, go on, ask"

He didn't laugh, he rarely did but a small smile erupted on his lips.

"I'd like to bring my piano, if you feel fine with … moving your furniture a little"

"A little?" she grinned "what about when you're at your apartment?"

"We both know I spend less and less time there. I haven't even slept there in two months … after the toothbrush incident" House said for her "Well, cataclysm I should say."

Cuddy rolled her eyes but admitted that she had hated sleeping in a bed without him here. They smiled stupidly at each other. House's gaze fell on her lips and he was going to kiss her when Cuddy suddenly stepped back. House turned just in time to receive a snow ball and hear Rachel giggling. Her purple gloves were covered with snow and she was gathering some.

House limped to the nearest bench, gathered snow and started throwing snow balls in her direction. Rachel was screaming and laughing at the same time, running around and avoiding the snow balls that kept coming up. She soon started to toss snow at him, most of the time missing him.

"Hooooowse!"

Their little game lasted for a while until House finally abandoned his cane and gathered snow with his two hands. Then slowly, he turned in Cuddy's direction and eyed her mischievously.

"Oh no" she was shaking her head and stepped backward. He was grinning from ear to ear and it momentarily stopped her in her retreat.

"Where do you think you're going?"

A snowball hit him on the back just when he threw his in Cuddy's direction. Rachel laughed and joined her mother. Then it was House's turn to freeze when he saw their knowing smile.

"Not fair! Cripple here!"

Cuddy and Rachel teamed up against him. Soon, snow balls were flying around at a quick pace until House suddenly fell all sprawled out on the ground after a shot from Rachel. Mortified, Rachel run to him and fell at his side.

"Howse!" she shook him

Cuddy repressed a laugh and instead of warning her, she played along. House, who must have listened to her, opened one eye then the second.

"Boo!"

Rachel tried to escape but he tricked her and soon had her all covered with snow. She was giggling and pleading vigorously for him to stop tickling her. When her cheeks started hurting to much from laughing and she was breathless, House finally stopped and helped her stand. They shared a wild smile.

…

"And you're still wondering how you can possibly be good with her?" Cuddy asked him on their way back to the car.

Thank you.