This labyrinth was nostalgic, the thief reminisced. Tight corridors coloured in dull greys, an omnipresent high-technology security system, sharply dressed guards patrolling the rooms with almost robotic-like moves. The scent of dirty money permeated every patch of air. It reminded him of a lesser, yet not insignificant, heist conducted a few years ago.

Of course, he and his companions had been relatively inexperienced then. They lacked the tricks of the trade. This time, though? While the labyrinth was sizable, the difficulty was almost trivial.

Perhaps it was a testament to their skills, or that whoever was in charge of this place clearly had gone unnoticed in their deeds. The thieves never would have discovered this place if not for that tip-off from the mysterious floating being.

With a snap of his fingers, he conjured up a wave of fire, enveloping the brutish guard in front of him. The hulking man screamed and flailed as the heat consumed him. The thief then raised his trusty handgun and fired once. The guard fell over backwards, a gaping hole in the centre of his head. His body immediately began decomposing into a puddle of thick, oily goo.

Smirking, the thief strode past the mess and pushed open the double doors in front of him. He walked in, took in the sights and grinned.

"Too easy!" A blonde boy behind the thief crowed. "So, this is the treasure room, huh? It's got the floaty thing too. Really takes me back."

"Careful, Skull." A brunette in a matte-black bodysuit warned. She was just behind the thief, the picture of a lancer behind the trusted leader. "There may still be enemies up ahead."

"It's okay, guys!" A young girl called from the back. She gave them a grin and quick thumbs up. "Already scouted out the room. We're in the clear."

"Nice, Oracle!" Skull matched her thumbs up with his own.

"I must say, the décor in this place is rather tacky." A girl in a black mask noted, walking in with her companions. "Big Bang Burger is less outlandish than this."

"I agree, Noir." A tall boy in a fox mask noted. He rested his hand beneath his chin for a moment, before reaching for a small notebook and pen. "Still, the Metaverse provides it with a degree of uniqueness. Fixing its mistakes will provide me with a good exercise, I feel."

A girl in the red catsuit shuddered at the contents of the room. "Ugh, I'm getting some real unpleasant flashbacks." She lifted up her whip. "Kinda tempted to smash up some of these statues, to be honest."

"I understand how you feel, Panther." The girl in the black bodysuit said. "But we shouldn't try and make a commotion now. Save it for the last stage."

"Sorry, Queen." Panther said, sheepishly.

The thief, remaining silent, continued to observe his surroundings. His vision flickered from object to structure and those in between. His thoughts churned as a dozen different plans competed for attention and effectiveness inside his head. Throughout it all, he kept a steady, neutral expression.

He was snapped out of his concentration by a black cat-like figure trotting up to him. "Morgana." The thief stated.

"What do you think, Joker?" Morgana asked. "The usual?"

"I suppose. Once we steal the treasure, I'm allowed in." The boy named Joker said. He almost sounded disappointed. His tone then became inquisitive. "Although…"

"Oh?" Morgana said, recognizing his leader's thought patterns.

"There is this interesting idea I'd like to try." Joker said, raising a finger. There was a ghost of a smile playing at his lips.

The cat smiled in response. "Do tell."

Joker waved for his companions to come forward, before quickly voicing his idea. By the time he was done, his companions' bright smiles were matching his own.

"Dude, that's awesome! Man, if only we could see the looks on their faces!"

"It sounds really fun! Beats just sending the thing through the mail."

"It's unorthodox, but that is the way things should be. I approve."

"Oh, that's so like you, Joker."

"You know me well, Queen." Joker said. "So, any objections?"

"I don't have any."

"None!"

"Nope."

"Zilch."

And thus, a consensus with reached. Accepting it, Joker adjusted his mask. He stared at the floating mass in front of him and let loose his smuggest grin that day.

"Right then, there's a lot to be done. Phantom Thieves, we're pulling out!"

"Roger!" his companions cried.

Travelling between dimensions was difficult. Sending messages through them, electronic or not, even more so. Thus, the monthly Mail Day at the Smash Mansion was considered a momentous occasion.

True, some of the Smashers had friends or family members who came to live with them in the Smash Dimension, but even more had to stay behind at their homes due to other commitments. It was always a pleasure to hear from the latter, especially when they sent gifts.

So when the mailmen dropped off the parcels and letters this time, the Smashers were excited, but didn't consider the occassion unusual. Sure, sometimes a couple of weird packages would get caught in the mix (the less said about Bayonetta's weapon commissions the better), but for the most part everyone was too busy collecting their stuff or questioning their fellows about said stuff.

It would be nearly an hour later when Isabell—one of the latest newcomers and a generally helpful young lady to boot—went back to the front to clean up any mess, only to find a single parcel untouched.

"Excuse me!" she said, walking into the living room with the object. A small group of Smashers were lounging around, enjoying the lazy weekend. The television was on and a couple were playing the latest go-kart racing game. "Does this belong to anybody?"

She was met with a round of shaking heads and shrugs.

"Red and black packaging…" Robin murmured, looking up from his book, "Who could it belong to?"

"Maybe it belongs to the giant cat Pokemon that just moved in? It matches the fur." Pit the angel suggested.

A certain Electric-type rodent elsewhere in the room made some vague squeaking noises. No translator was present, but it was safe to assume that he/she was mildly offended by the angel boy's statement. The other Smashers offered some other suggestions, but none of them seemed conclusive.

"Wait, I think there's something on the side." Isabelle said, turning the package over. "It says…to the entire Smash Mansion?"

That got everybody's attention.

"That's-a new." Mario said.

"Could it be a trap?" Shulk wondered.

Falco snorted. "Remember the last time someone tried to take us all on? Yeah, doubt anyone would be stupid enough to try again."

Princess Rosalina sighed, resisting the urge to place a hand on her forehead. "Falco, we almost all got killed."

"We still won, though." Falco argued.

"That's not the point."

"I don't think it's a trap." Link said. "It's too direct. At the very least, they'd given it to one person only."

"Yeah, it could really just be an ordinary package." Shulk agreed.

"Well, we're not gonna get anywhere just speculating." Princess Daisy suggested, gesturing to the package. "Let's all open it together."

Isabelle nodded and brought over the package to the table in the center of the room. All the other Smashers stopped what they were doing and gathered around the package. They watched with anticipation as Isabelle gently removed the ribbon on top. Several gulped, but nothing happened. She then tore away the packaging and placed her paws on the box lid.

Behind her, Shulk's eyes flashed blue. Sweat poured down his brow and he made motions to back away. In that same moment, Isabelle took off the lid.

"Oh my, what's this—"

Those words were the last thing everyone heard before their vision collectively erupted into a smorgasbord of crimson, black and cardboard. Isabelle, being at ground zero, promptly blacked out.

When she came to, she was sprawled on the ground with a pounding headache and patches of black in the corner of her vision. She moaned and rubbed her eyes with her paws. Several hard objects slid off her face. She would've liked to say this was the first time something like this happened, but when she recalled her university days, well…

Shaking off the unpleasant memories, she propped herself up and took a good look at her room.

The entire room was coated in cards. Excuse me? Isabelle thought to herself. She rubbed her eyes and looked again. The entire room was still coated in cards. They were small rectangles, shaped much like business cards. Their color was that of the packaging—crimson and black. And they were everywhere. On the carpet, beneath the table, atop the television. Some were even balanced atop the ceiling fan.

The entire package had been filled with the things, Isabelle realised blearily. Every last square inch had been concentrated cardboard. Opening the lid had triggered a mechanism, similar to a jack-in-a-box, sending the contents of the box skyrocketing. She glanced around the room and noticed that most of her fellow Smashers weren't exactly pleased with this.

"What the fu—"

"My hair! They're in my hair? I spent an hour working on this!"

"Ow! There's one down my back, too!"

"Bleh. It tastes awful!"

"When I get my hands on the bastard who did this—"

To add insult to injury, the stench of ink and paper fiber was now everywhere. Isabelle's nose twitched. She realized she was about to go into a sneezing fit. She opened her mouth to warn her friends, and then it began.

Robin, on the other hand, blinked, patted his clothes down and retrieved one of the cards that had landed between the pages of his tome. He studied it for a moment. Clearing his throat, he began to read.

"Take your heart, goes the title." He began, "Dear all Smashers. There is one among you who is a complete villain of greed. However, it is no ordinary greed. This villain is responsible for the grievous crime of constant tax fraud. We know who that person is and that person knows who they are as well."

"Tax fraud?" Princess Daisy coughed. "Say what?"

"Such acts are taking valuable resources from the federal department, which are needed to assist to poor. That's why we have decided to steal those twisted desires and make you confess your sins. This will be done tomorrow, so we hope you are ready. Signed, the Phantom Thieves."

Utter silence followed the end of Robin's reading.

"It seems to be a calling card. They are what gentlemen thieves left behind after their heists." Robin explained. "The way all the letters are cut from different newspapers is interesting. I don't believe I've seen anything like this before in my home world."

The Smashers took this interesting piece of trivia in. They predictably ignored it and began shouting again.

"What. What is this? What the utter hell is this?"

"By the gods, it was some sort of elaborate prank after all!"

"Tax fraud? Hey, aren't there a few criminals in this mansion?"

"No." Falco said, crossing his arms. "If there's anyone guilty of tax fraud, it's the damn bureaucrats."

"I…I would never do such a thing!" Isabelle sputtered, turning red beneath Falco's stare. "Not only is it illegal, it's highly immoral! I'm shocked, Falco!"

She was supported by her red-shirted mayor, who nodded fervently and shot Falco a glare so acidic it could have melted the wings off his ship.

"I'm just saying…" Falco said, frowning. "That, or the royals."

"Oi, bird boy, you wanna come over and see that to my face?" Princess Daisy groused, a vein pulsing in her forehead.

"I don't even deal with economics that much…" Princess Rosalina muttered.

"Guys." Pit said, "We have a bigger problem. Who's going to clean all of this up?"

More silence as the weight of the angel's words settled in. Then, Falco raised his hand (wing?) and uttered the two powerful words. "Not me."

"Not me either!" Shulk yelled.

"Or me!" Pit shouted.

"Hey, you just can't say that!" Link said.

"Well, we just did!"

"Oh no, if Peach sees-a this…" Mario sighed.

"Pika Pika Pika!"

"Everyone! I just heard this loud explosion from upstairs—" The newly arrived Lucina peeked her head around the doorframe and her thought processes screeched to a crashing halt. Her jaw dropped. "Goodness, what on earth happened in here?"

The room descended into a chorus of arguing. One side declared themselves immune to the idea of cleaning up. Another wanted to grab everyone in the room and send them to collect dustpans and brooms. Some wanted the Hands to take care of it, others were trying to tiptoe out of the room as quietly as possible.

Amidst the noise, there was one character who went unnoticed. A single Smasher who said nothing and reacted to nothing, save for staring at the pile of calling cards. Their disjointed words on the cards flashed through his mind over and over. It soon became the only thing he could think about.

Deep within the reaches of the collective unconsciousness, a lone, reptilian figure sat behind a varnished, mahogany desk. Surrounding the room were statues and trophies representing his glory, shining figures of gold and silver. A portrait of his most dignified moment hung behind the velvet-lined chair.

The reptilian closed his eyes and breathed thick smoke out of his mouth. He then stabbed his expensive cigar into an ash tray, crushing the bottom half. Golden eyes seared with a truly intense hatred as he slammed his fist on the desk. His nameplate trembled. On the other side, a pile of important paperwork unbalanced themselves and fell to the floor.

"So, those pathetic humans think they can get me to confess to my crimes?" The shadowy figure of Yoshi growled. "Do they realize just how many times I've avoided the IRS? Not even the gods are a match for me. I haven't been beaten by anyone and I don't intend to start now! Bring it on, Phantom Thieves!"

ALERT LEVEL: 99.9%

I know this meme is already on its way to the grave but I still find it kinda funny so IDK

Also, congratulations on Joker for getting into Smash! Persona 5 is a pretty good RPG, you know. Maybe you should play it.

This is my first time writing the P5 characters so I dunno if I did it well. I also challenged myself to write this out quickly. Please give feedback and stuff.