"This can't be happening. This can't be happening…" Shadow Yoshi heaved great sobs from his place on the ground. The battle had torn his suit with gashes and burns and his once spotless, sneering face was clammy with sweat and dirt. His movements bore the exhausted desperation of the loser. "I'm not supposed to be lose!"
Joker strode over, causing Shadow Yoshi to shriek and hug the wall. The rest of his crew moved to surround their beaten foe in a circle. Their shadows loomed over him like giants onto ants.
"We've beaten targets like you time and after time again. I still don't quite understand it." Joker said. "You had money, fame and influence. And yet, you still desired more. What was your end goal? What was the point of it all?"
"None of you understand. Children like you simply can't." Shadow Yoshi moaned. "In this world, the best way to pass through life is to control the world around you. You have to make others do what you want instead of the opposite. If you don't, you'll become bound by your circumstances. "
He took a shuddering breath. "There's only pain and suffering there. I let myself be controlled by the state of Yoshi's Islands and what did I receive? Headaches, nightmares and a constant sense of futility. Only after I began exercising my financial talents and learning how to manipulate system did my fortunes turn around. That's why I needed all the money and resources at my side. I refuse to go back to the pathetic person I used to be!"
"Oh, blow it out your ass!" Skull growled. "Quit making for all the bad shit you did!"
"It's true that there are many who find themselves unable to move past their circumstances. Poverty, disabilities, simple bad luck and such." Fox said. "Their life is filled with painful times, yes, but they find satisfaction in other areas."
"Such as helping others." Noir continued. Yoshi winced at that. His head drooped. "There was a time where you understood the value of that, right?"
"That's…"
"Don't lie to us. You genuinely felt food when you helped your fellow Yoshis." Noir said. It was the truth and the Phantom Thieves knew it. There had been a small, dusty room lurking in a corner of the Palace where muffled, truthful voices played back from an old tape recorder. A pale, vulnerable fragment of who Yoshi used to be. As predicted, Yoshi's words froze in his tongue and he did not respond.
"You just became greedy and prideful. Drunk on power, you abused your resources to manipulate others and cheat the legal system." Queen added. She crossed her arms. "End of story."
"Well, that's why we're here." Panther said, stretching her arms. "To steal your distorted desires and set your heart right."
"This is for your own good." Oracle said. "Soon, you'll understand what you did was wrong and society will become better off for it. Don't resist, okay?"
Shadow Yoshi slumped in his spot, as if the strings commanding him were cut. All traces of resistances vanished from him. Joker nodded, satisfied. The boss was defeated and now was the time for the final stage of the heist.
"Skull, Panther and Fox: watch Shadow Yoshi and the rest of the room." He ordered. "The rest of you: follow me. We're taking that Treasure."
"Aye!"
The Phantom Thieves acted in unison. Skull, Panther and Fox formed a circle around their foe, hands on their weapons, their remaining magic at their fingertips. Their eyes drifted towards the exits and entrances, ready for any nasty surprises.
The rest followed Joker towards the steel, sealed door behind Yoshi. A single hack from Oracle and the locks fell down like flies. The door swung open with a slow, mechanical creak. They stepped inside, endured the scream of orgasmic joy from Mona and emerged with armfuls of boxes and metal-plated suitcases.
"What are those?" Skull asked.
"Bonds, contracts, assorted paperwork. Evidence of Yoshi's crimes." Queen answered. "Together they're the Treasure, no doubt."
"They must be worth a fortune!" Panther remarked. "Imagine selling those to the police or the media."
"Not that's a thing we can do." Skull groaned. "You know, because of how the Metaverse works at stuff."
"Ah, get over it."
"I wouldn't do it anyway." Queen chimed in. "Dealing with sensitive documents is a massive pain. I'm not looking forward to that part of my future career."
The ground suddenly trembled. Cracks formed in the ground with loud hisses. The ceiling shook, shaking the lights and dislodging chunks of steel and concrete. Now the Palace host was defeated, their Treasure claimed, the Palace had no reason to exist. Given that the Phantom Thieves were standing on a rapidly collapsing skyscraper, they needed to act, and fast. Joker clapped his hands and faced his team, calm despite the approaching danger.
"Mission over, everyone." He said. "Let's pull out!"
"What about me?" Shadow Yoshi said in a low, weak voice.
"You'll be fine." Joker said, sparing the beaten Shadow a glance. "It's the other you that should be careful."
"What…?"
"Transform!" Mona shouted. In a puff of smoke, his body transformed into a black van with his face on the bonnet. The Phantom Thieves piled in, Panther taking the wheel. Engines powerful as a jet's flared and the van sped off towards the exit. It blasted the doors off their hinges and sped down the crumbling corridors.
Shadow Yoshi remained, staring at the broken doorway with a mixture of confusion and dejection. Rubble fell from the ceiling around him in a miniature, makeshift tomb. The ground gave way and he fell through a loud, dark abyss. He hit the ground, heard a sickening crunch and laid still.
Then, he was nothing.
Ripples of red and black flashed through the Phantom Thieves' vision as they passed between dimensions. The grungy, fantastical presence of the Metaverse peeled away like a layer of filth. Then, Joker was gone and Ren Amimaya was back.
He and his friends were deposited in Shibuya, Tokyo. Near the train station, a bit from the Scramble Crossing. The sky was cloudy, with patches of orange and pink. The day was winding down and the area was chock-full of residents heading home. A group of tourists gathered around the Hachiko statue, snapping photos.
"Finally done…" Ann moaned, resting herself against a nearby bench. "I'm beat."
"Good work, everyone." Makoto said, smiling. "With this, Yoshi's heart will definitely change."
"What's gonna happen because of it?" Ryuji asked. "Is he gonna confess like the others? Is our name going to appear on TV again?"
"Eh, we'll deal it when it happens." Futaba said, slumping next to Ann. Tremors ran down her thights and she shuddered. "Ugh, I'm so out of energy. Now I remember why we stopped out heists in the first place."
"Apart from our presence no longer being needed in society?" Yusuke offered. His body was the type of nutrition-thin seen across artists around the world, yet he was standing with his arms crossed with little sign of exhaustion.
"Well, yeah, but us being dead tired was also important."
"So, what about the Treasure?" Morgana said. "What is it now?"
The Treasure, once a metaphysical object, had transformed into something tangible in Ren's hands. A worn book, with faded covers and yellowed edges. Tentatively, Ren opened it. His friends gathered around him. A photo album greeted him, filled and well-used. They were all pictures of Yoshi. Yoshi eating fruits with his fellow countrymen. Yoshi hanging out with Mario. Yoshi celebrating the new school finally being built, the smiles of the children around him…
Ren shut the book. Dust flew from between pages.
"He's just all the others…" Haru remarked, her voice quiet.
"A man who tried to good, gave into temptation and careened down an evil path." Yusuke said.
"The same old story." Futaba remarked, frowning.
What else was there to say? Ren refused to feel sympathy for a creature that ruined so many lives without remorse. Pity, though? A faint sense of loss and sadness upon realizing what Yoshi could have been, had he resisted her primal urges, taken a different path.
There was no shame in feeling that.
In any case, their job his done. It was up to Master Hand for therest now. Ren cleared his throat and put on his best smile for his team.
"Good work today, guys. Let's go and talk with Master Hand." He said. He pondered for a bit. "Actually, before that, we should celebrate. We did just end a month-long heist, after all. Who wants coffee and curry?"
Across the dimensions, within the Smash Mansion, strange things were happening. Suspicious things. Things that involved Yoshi falling lethargic all of a sudden. It was so sudden; one moment he was knocking around skulls like the rest of his peers, the next he was snuggled in his bed, mumbling about how cold and sluggish he felt.
At first, everyone assumed he just caught a cold. It happened everybody; experience taught them not even literal incarnations of deities or demon slayers were immune to sickness. Give him some space, let Dr. Mario do the usual checkup and have the staff bring his meals to his room. It'd clear up in a day or two.
That didn't happen.
An entire week passed by and Yoshi remained in his slump. Oh, he got up to do his job, but the difference between the performance then and now was as clear as night and day. He skipped his usual outings and he began to miss crucial timings in his reactions during matches. His placement in the rankings fell, along with his fans' faith in him.
Speculation began, as it tended to be the case in the Smash Mansion. What on earth could be the cause behind Yoshi's state? Bad news at home? Mood swings? Did a lady friend break up with him? Oddly enough, Master Hand declined to comment. He brushed any questions off and told everyone to focus on their jobs.
A couple of days passed. All must come to an end, so surely Yoshi would regain his vigor and start bouncing and running about like his usual perky self by now? No. His movements remained sluggish, his pallor grew whiter and he ate less in favour of sleeping more. An invisible curse was seizing up every cell in his body and no-one knew what was happening.
"I'm fine." He complained to his concerned friends. "I just need some rest."
He fell unconscious onto the ground a second later. Mario and Luigi dragged him straight to Dr. Mario for a checkup.
There were signs of lack of sleep and nutrient deprivation, but the good doctor was unable to find a cause. In the end, he could only sigh, shake his head and assign energy-invigorating medication to the poor dinosaur. He needed good food, better rest and more time in the sun. Isabelle graciously volunteered for all three.
It all came to a head one evening.
The end of the first quarter of the year had arrived, bringing along a special dinner banquet. The kitchen staff had locked themselves in during the noon and worked around the clock to provide a banquet fit for heroes. Troughs of deliciously-smelling foods, lathered with exotic creams, sauces and spices from all across the worlds, were lined up on cloth-covered tables in the dining room. The traditional, organized layout was done away in favour of a more open space with room to chat and dance. Drinks of all colors and intensity were prepared by a calm-looking bartender. Smooth jazz flowed into the room through a set of ceiling speakers.
The Smashers arrived, grabbed their plates and sunk their teeth into the meal. Within minutes, the dining hall was filled with crunching mouths and delightful conversation. All in the mansion, Smashers, support staff and the administrators, were here except for one. Sad as it was, the Smash Mansion had gotten used to Yoshi not showing up. Life went on and it did so without him.
So, it was a pleasant surprise when he did show up. He staggered in halfway through the buffet, his expression clouded. He refused to look at anybody.
"Woah, look who it is!" Falco called.
"Oh, hey, Yoshi!" Fox said, waving with one hand, grabbing a pair of chicken wings with the other. "It's great you showed up! Glad we saved your favorite."
"I…" Yoshi began.
"Are you still sick?" Princess Peach asked, lifting him the hem of her dress and stepping forward to her friend, clearly worried. "You shouldn't push yourself."
"I'm sorry…" Yoshi continued, moisture gathering at the corners of his eyes.
"Um, you don't need to feel sorry." Peach said, sounding confused. "Illness happens to everybody—"
"It's all my fault!" Yoshi screamed. He flung himself to the ground in a position of prostration, head bowed. It made a gigantic thud that shook tables and rattled glasses. Mouths half-full of food ceased chewing and heads turned. Silence descended upon the room like a thunderstorm. A metal fork slipped from a set of fingers and clanged on the floor.
"I did it all. It was all my fault…" Yoshi sobbed. Fat, crystal-clear tears rolled off his reptilian eyes and made wet trails down his green scales.
"Y-Yoshi?" Fox approached. He faltered as Yoshi launched into another tearful cry. "It's all good, buddy. You don't have to feel guilty about feeling sick. Everyone was willing to help you…"
"Eh, not me." Wario called from the back, mid-way through picking his nose with a grease-encrusted finger.
"Shut the hell up, Wario." Fox growled back.
"I hurt so many people…" Yoshi continued, ignoring his fellow Smashers. Fox and Peach glanced at each other, the former shrugging his shoulders. Others in the back muttered and whispered. High up in the corner of the ceiling, a security camera whirred and swivelled towards the entrance.
"You, uh, didn't infect us with anything." Peach said. "Could explain what you did? We can help you."
"No-one can help me—no, no-one should help me!" Was Yoshi's only reply. "I committed so many horrible crimes!"
"Crimes?" Someone repeated.
"That time-out against Ness last week was pretty damn grimy." Captain Falcon mentioned, scratching his chin. "It's not illegal, though."
"He's not talking about actual crimes?" Pit said, "Like robbery, murder and such?"
Samus scoffed. "That's ridiculous. It's Yoshi. Get a grip."
"I swindled so many people. I abused the power I had for evil…" Yoshi ranted and slammed his palms against the ground, ignoring the crowd. If he didn't get his fellow Smashers' attention when he first arrived, he was gaining it now. There was a point where jokes came and finished, and Yoshi's breakdown had long since passed that. The sorrow and self-hatred leaking from his every word could not be denied.
A mixture of confusion, frustration and sympathy blended themselves and curled within Peach's stomach, as she walked over and steadied Yoshi to his feet. He smacked her away and stumbled back across the breadth of the entrance. Now, there was another emotion rising within her. It was…fear? Like the times before facing a tough opponent on Final Destination, like before meetings with advisors during an economic downturn, like being confined inside that space station on the moon with nary an ally in sight.
Why was she feeling this? What was her premonition, forged from years of political work, trying to tell her?
"It all started with that lady in Toad Town. I took her money and she fell into debt." Yoshi confessed. Peach's eyes widened. Several staff members, Toads, swivelled their heads around. Mario and Luigi pushed themselves forward, their expressions worrisome and tinged with a hint of desperation.
"Wait, what?" Fox said.
"Everyone snowballed from there. I cheated on my forms. I deliberately manipulated the Mushroom IRS. I stole the money meant for the citizens of the nation…"
"That lady in Toad Town…the one who fell into destitution out of nowhere" A shadow of horror crossed Peach's face. She stared at her friend, disbelieving. "And my kingdom's IRS. All the reports of fraud from the investigation. All the leads that seemed to lead to nowhere. All the victims hurt and revenue lost. Yoshi, you mean…"
"It was me, Peach." Yoshi whispered. "The root of it all was me. "
Peach staggered back, face white. Princess Daisy rushed over to support her best friend. The two royals looked at Yoshi, their gazes pleading for him to be quiet, not wanting that image of their cute little dinosaur friend to shatter into a million pieces. And yet, Yoshi would not stop. He could not stop. The Smashers could only watch, speechless yet fascinated, as words of misdeeds tumbled out of Yoshi's mouth with frantic fervor.
"I embellished the money for the Islands for my own gains. I bribed and cheated the political system there so I could remain in power. I condemned a political rival who only meant well. I destroyed the culture of the Islands with modern luxuries and degeneracies. What a failure I am to my name!"
"What the goddamn hell is happening?" Falco cried. It was like a car crash they couldn't look away. Revulsion, fascination and the desire in truth united as one.
"I rose through the criminal underworld and used my tax-evasion schemes for other criminals. I hid their dirty deeds in exchange for favors. My influence spreads across entire worlds and nations. That's how good I was at my crimes!"
"I heard those Rougeport Pianta goons hit it big all of a sudden." Bowser said, a flash of realization hitting him. "You can't mean…"
"Team Rocket's sudden revival…" Red, the Pokemon Trainer, began.
"The influx of body-snatching operations in the Middle East…" Snake growled.
"The sudden eruption of activity in the Space Pirates." Samus gasped. In the back, Ridley snorted and stomped out the back entrance.
"I'm connected to every single one of them. The higher-ups dance like they're own personal troupe of puppets because they owe me so much! It's maddening, isn't it! And yet, I did it all."
"Tax fraud…" Fox began. He quickly made the connection in hishead. "So, the target of the Phantom Thieves was you!"
"You gotta be kidding me…" Pit gasped.
"I'm both horrified and impressed." Bowser admitted.
"How did they make Yoshi do this without even coming here?" Samus said.
"Geez, not even Wario is this bad. Wario, for Gods's sake!" Captain Falcon exclaimed.
Yoshi's face was a wreck at this point. Snot, tears and even blood created filthy waterfalls over his reptilian skin. He lifted his face up for the first time since his breakdown.
"The Phantom Thieves made me realize all the wrong things I did. I saw my crimes in my dreams, except this time I was the victim in all of them. They replayed over and over again until I realized my wrongdoing. I deserve all that's coming to me and more."
He slammed his fists on the ground over and over, so forceful that the enamel cracked beneath them.
"Repent!" He screamed. "I must repent! I'm so very sorry for everything I've done!"
No-one knew what to say. They were all struck dumb. Eventually, they made the connection between Yoshi and a particular Smasher and turned to look at him. Surely, he would know how to break the ice and give Yoshi what he deserved, whatever that was.
Mario did not. His gaze bored into Yoshi's trembling figure. A solid minute passed, his expression stony, unchanging, brimming with a coldness as deep as the furthest ice. He then turned on his heel and strode out of the dining room. His brother followed.
And Yoshi sobbed.
The Smashers were no stranger to hype; it happened with every tournament and newcomer. But the revelation that one of the roster's original fighters, a very popular and beloved one at that, had actually been one of most notorious criminals across the worlds the whole time? And he had willingly confessed by the hands of these mysterious Phantom Thieves?
One had to feel sorry for Lucas. With the naivety of a child, he opened the door the morning after and promptly stepped into a star's worth of shining lights and a tidal wave of shouting voices. He shrieked, stumbled backwards and slammed the door behind him with a blast of psychic power, almost shattering the hinges.
Their numbers exceeded the thousands. Yoshi's various victims, men and women of all species and sizes, holding up signs and screaming vitriol at the gates. The law enforcement, holding back the crowd while simultaneously demanding Yoshi be brought out to face the full force of the courts. Surrounding them were the media, flashing cameras and crawling all over the controversy like cockroaches upon filth.
In short, it was a media storm of unprecedented proportions. Master Hand immediately declared an emergency lockdown. All Smashers were to stay inside until Master Hand and the PR team sorted it all out.
It was not an easy task. All who had even the slightest relation to Yoshi in the past had their integrity brought into question, which included the entire roster. Many Smashers did not take the accusations very well. Their supporters, even less so. The Internet exploded with virtual tongue-lashings dripping with rage and vitriol from both sides.
As for the dinosaur of the moment, he remained silent. Then again, it was hard for anybody to speak out when they're confined to their room with all means of communication shut.
That afternoon, Fox scrolled through his social media feed on his high-tech smartphone, shook his head and refused the urge to hurl the device into the nearby fountains. Damn news articles. They were popping up like mushrooms in a forest, their contents insipid and uninformed. Several of Star Fox's enemies had taken advantage of the situation to slander him and his crew. He felt like he should fire back at those hacks with the fury of Corneria's own sun, but Falco was already doing that.
Needless, he was not looking forward to the upcoming press conference in his home world.
"Are they still out there?" Red, the male Pokemon Trainer, said next to him, peering towards the horizon. One of his trusty Pokeballs bounced in his hand.
"Afraid so." Fox replied. "Nothing we can do about it."
Across the garden, past wrought iron barred walls, they could make out a group of muffled, angry shadows. It was past noon and the mob showed no signs of slowing down. All of them wanted their pound of flesh and Fox legitimately believed they would have tried to storm the gates if it weren't for Crazy Hand. The psychopathic god-being had zoomed out in the morning, cackling madly and eager for a fight. He was wrestled back by Master Hand, who then told the terrified crowd that while protesting peacefully was fine, for their own safety they shouldn't give the antsy Smashers a reason to fight back.
So now the Smashers had to deal with a constant background of angry voices. It wasn't the end of the world, but neither was it appreciated.
"Did you know that one of them let off a bunch of fireworks this afternoon?" Red grumbled. "It spelled out 'YOSHI NEEDS TO PAY' in bright yellow nights. It was cool-lookin', but it scared the bejeezus out of Squirtle."
"A whole bunch of them sent me hate mail." Fox replied. "Death threats, talking smack about suing Star Fox."
"What the heck?" Red said, scowling. "Why?"
"Because I know…knew Yoshi a long time ago." Fox said. "Considered myself his friend. Apparently that makes me guilty by association."
"That's real dumb!" Red protested. "You're the captain of Star Fox, damn it! The best bounty hunting group in the Lylat system!"
"Some people are just plain stupid." Fox said.
Red snarled, shook his head and put his Pokeball back on his belt, looking reluctant all the while. "Arceus, I almost regret coming back here."
Fox patted Red on the back. "The fans can do some real stupid things. When you've been in this scene long enough, kid, you get used to it."
"That ain't sounding like a good thing." Red said.
This spot in the mansion's garden was meant to be a place of relaxation, where Smashers could unwind in the outside air after a hard day's work. Fox and Red had wandered around the place, met up and decided to chat for the hell of it. Try as they might, they simply couldn't get themselves back into the old, comfortable routine. No jokes, no wisecracks, no ribbing about getting spiked by Marth off the edge of Final Destination.
The news of Yoshi being one of the worst criminals in the multiverse had irreparably damaged the atmosphere of the Smash Mansion. It was one thing to know that the King of Evil stalked the hallways. It was another to realize that the local cuddly best friend had blood on its hand and could plot your demise at any moment. It was a dark, filthy stain on otherwise unblemished record.
So they complained about the mob outside. It didn't make them happy, but it was cathartic nonetheless.
"How's Mario doing?" Red asked, nudging towards the back entrance of the mansion.
"Not good. Hasn't talked much, except to Luigi and Peach. He's been getting into a lot of fights lately. He's trying not to think about it, or he's releasing his pent-up anger through combat." Fox replied.
"He's gonna be okay, right?" Apart from a select few, Mario was liked to an extent by everyone in the Smash Mansion. Naturally, Red was concerned.
"He'll…yeah, I think so, eventually." Fox sighed, leaning back in his chair. He shook his head. "He's just grieving. He needs his space. Don't act like you're walking on eggshells around him, though. He won't appreciate that."
Red shifted in his seat. "I'm getting the impression you've seen this before."
"Falco betrayed me, once." Fox said.
"Wait, seriously?" Red exclaimed.
"Hard to believe, eh?"
"It's Falco. Of course I'm gonna doubt that."
"Left the team when the galaxy was at peace, when our jobs were running low, even though he swore he'd be my first mate forever." Fox stared into the distance, unfocused for a second. "It hurt back then. It hurt a lot."
A small grin formed on his face. Half-bitter, half-endearing. "But, he came back. I was struggling against Andross and out of nowhere Falco comes out of nowhere with his cocky grin and top-notch piloting. I'd be space food if not for him. I was happy, but also really mad at the same time. Gave him a good knock over the head for it."
"What happened after that?"
"For the longest time there always this tension between Falco and I, even if we tried to let things go back the way they used to be. Couldn't confide in each other as much as we used to. We're cool now, obviously, but the memory still remains, and it stings."
"So, you get what Mario's going through?" Red said.
Fox's mouth twisted. He shrugged his shoulders. "Kinda. Falco ran out of impulse. He regretted his decision and came back. He wasn't going behind my back and doing all sorts of nasty crap."
Red understaood. "And Yoshi's different. It's like if Falco was secretly orchestrating all the crimes Star Fox fought to stop…"
Fox nodded and sighed. "I don't know fully what Mario is going through, but I can still empathize a little."
"This is all such a damn mess." Red groaned.
"Tell me about it, kid…"
Across the garden, the petals of flowers swayed in the breeze. Another undecipherable chant exploded from the furious mob.
On the second floor of the Smash Mansion, two figures with silver hair and robes were sitting beneath a dim light. Behind them was a dry coffee pot, in front of them was a mountain of papers and within them their souls were dwindling bit by bit, second by second.
Master Hand burst through the aged door, fingers twitching, shouting in his booming voice.
"SIR ROBIN. LADY ROBIN. HOW IS THE PAPERWORK COMING ALONG?"
The male Robin lowered his head up from the desk, looking as if someone casted the entire contents of a Nosferatu tome on him.
"It's a quarter done, Master Hand." He mumbled.
"Honestly, it just keeps going and going." His female counterpart, whom Master Hand had termed Reflet, replied. Dark bags hung beneath her eyes and ink blots ran up the sides of her fingers. A small pile of used energy drink cans lay in the wastebasket at her feet. "The moment we think we've reached the bottom, it crumbles away and we see the rabbit hole dig down deeper. Pardon by English, but I am very, very dissatisfied with this."
"I APOLOGIZE FOR THE VOLUME. SINCERELY." Master Hand boomed, spraying ethereal spittle and knocking over a few papers with the force of his words. "DO YOU TWO WANT COFFEE? HEAVY BLACK WITH SUGAR AS ALWAYS?"
"Add some milk to mine." Reflet mumbled, scrawling something on her paper. She glanced at it again, cursed and grabbed some whitener.
"I'd rather lead the troops through the swamps during rainy season than this…" The male Robin yawned. His head hit his desk. His eyelids drooped. Master Hand floated over to him.
"WHAT WAS THAT, SIR ROBIN?"
"Nothing. Can I get a Byzantine pill, too?"
Yoshi's confession had led to a lot of red tape. Arrest warrants, evidence trails, confession reports and more. There was enough to fill up an entire harbor's worth of shipping containers. When the first reports arrived, Master Hand had immediately assigned the Robin duo to handle it all. Because who else was intelligent and enough to? Chrom? Bayonetta? Donkey Kong?
Oh, and the paperwork had an expiration date. Certain people were impatient, along with scheduling issues between the courts across the realms. The Robins understood that the victims neede recompense and closure and the faster it was done the better. That didn't help their pounding headaches and strained muscles. His fingers were going to cramp for weeks. How was going to hold his tomes in the arena now?
"WHAT IS THE VERDICT ON YOSHI'S IMPRISONMENT?" Master Hand asked. "ARE YOU ABLE TO HAVE HIM STAY HERE?"
"It's a difficult sell." Reflet admitted. "However, my male counterpart and I have found a loophole within the Mushroom Kingdom's laws that should allow you to detain him at the Smasher Mansion indefinitely. With luck, we can persuade the other nations to follow the same example."
"I PLAN FOR YOSHI TO PERFORM A LOT OF COMMUNITY WORK IN THAT TIME."
"Will they accept it?" Robin asked.
"THEY WILL. FREE LABOR IS FREE LABOR. IT WILL ALSO GIVE YOSHI A CHANCE TO RECONNECT WITH THOSE HE HAS WRONGED."
"I'm so tired I might as well ask this." The male Robin said. "Wouldn't it be easier to throw Yoshi to the legal jurisdiction of the other nations and have them deal with it? I know we house villains such as Ganondorf and Ridley here, but you took in them knowing who they are."
"YOSHI IS STILL A SMASHER."
"I would argue that his case is the first this organization has ever seen."
"THERE IS TRUTH IN THAT STATEMENT." Master Hand said. "HOWEVER, I STILL BELIEVE THAT YOSHI HAS GOOD IN HIM."
Reflet put down her pen. "You've known him longer than either of us." she said.
Master Hand hovered up a fraction, his version of nodding. "WHEN I FIRST MET HIM, HE WAS GENUINELY TRYING TO WIN THE PRIZE MONEY TO HELP THE YOSHI ISLANDS. HE MAY HAVE BEEN CORRUPTED BY HIS DARKER DESIRES LATER ON, BUT I WOULD LIKE TO BELIEVE THE KINDNESS HE SHOWED TO US WAS NOT ENTIRELY FALSE. I BELIEVE HE GENUINELY ENJOYED THE TIME HE SPENT WITH HIS FRIENDS AT THE MANSION HERE.
"IF CHROM COMMITED A CRIME UNBEFITTING OF A KING, WOULD YOU STILL STAND BY HIM? ACKNOWLEDGE HIS MISTAKES, BUT STILL TRY TO HELP HIM BECOME A BETTER PERSON? EVEN IF THE ENTIRE WORLD TURNED AGAINST HIM?"
"That…" Robin swallowed. "It would depend on the severity of the offence."
"YOU WOULD STILL TRY TO UNDERSTAND HIM, YES?"
Robin and Reflet glanced at each other. Robin fiddled with his pen and sighed, while Reflet fiddled with an object on her ring finger, before shaking her head. Master Hand had them there.
"NOW, PLEASE HAND ME THAT REPORT, REFLET."
"Yes, Master Hand."
The dimension of the Smash Mansion had social media. Unfortunately, the presence of inhuman creatures and otherworldly beings with world-ending powers didn't change a lot. It was just as toxic and reactionary as social media platforms in other worlds were.
YOSHI FANS ON SUICIDE WATCH
No this can't be happening I'm literally shaking
Confirmed pedophile as well
Would still bang
OMG! I don't believe this! I regret everything! Literally going to burn all my Yoshi merch right now
Ackshually Yoshi's mentality is a sign of toxic masculinity and how its persuasive in the Super Smash Brothers tournament as further evidenced by (1/?)
Shut the fuck up you lot. The most important question is, does Mario know about this?
How can he not?
I still believe in Yoshi! It has to be a fake! It has to be!
Yoshifans, everyone. Not even once.
How dare you speak to me
Innocent before proven guilty! Innocent before proven guilty!
There is already an admission of guilty, you fucking wanker
(500 replies and 324 images omitted. CLICK HERE to EXPAND)
The phone slammed onto the counter with a loud thunk. A tiny crack formed on the screen. Mario, dressed in his traditional blue shirt and red overalls, shook his head and pushed an empty shot glass forward.
"One more." He said.
"I think that's quite enough." Sheik, bartender-in-training, replied. Her ninja garb was replaced with a smart dark grey shirt and trousers, with a brown smock covering her front chest. She still retained her mask, along with the property of speaking through it without sounding very muffled.
"You don't get to decide that." Mario grumbled. "I said, one more."
Sheik sighed. She picked up the bottle of liquor, walked all the way over the other end of the counter, placed down the liquor and walked back.
"You ass." Mario groaned.
"Don't you think you've moped around for long enough?" Sheik countered. "I understand it was painful for you to have one of your closest friends be revealed as a massive criminal, but you aren't the only Smasher who has suffered betrayal. Not to mention, you weren't the only one affected."
"That's…"
"Luigi can't look at another Yoshi without paling. It happened when a fan asked him for an autograph." Sheik continued. "Peach still has nightmares in her sleep. Daisy told me so at breakfast. Did you know all that, Mario?"
"No." Mario said in a weak voice.
"And why do you think that is?"
Mario's head slumped on the counter. "Because I've been avoiding everyone. Damn it, why do you have to make so much sense?"
Sheik coaxed the shot glass out of Mario's fingers. He did not resist. "Luigi, Peach and Daisy are worried about you. So is Fox, Kirby, Pikachu, Ness…the list goes on. Even Bowser hasn't been in top form recently. Your absence has all affected us, Mario."
"I know." He said.
"And we all have to face reality, no matter how painful it gets." Sheik continued.
"I know."
"I think it's time you took a break from this little spot in our mansion, Mario."
Mario rubbed his bloodshot eyes. He moaned once more, then cringed at the scent of alcohol crawling up his nose. This was the first time he noticed it.
"You're right, Sheik."
He stared up at the bar ceiling, the brown wood and the hazy lights, and wondered. When was the last time had spent more than ten minutes with one of his friends in the past few days? What had his schedule degenerated into? Eat, get up, practice, fight a few matches and repeat; doing the bare minimum to get himself by. His conversations with his fellow Smashers barely lasted past a dozen words. His moustache was overgrown, his hair smelled of grease and his overalls hadn't seen a proper wash in days. It was no way to live and he knew it.
An ugly thorn in his heart relished shutting out the world, inhibiting his dark feelings and lashing out anyone who dared intrude. Yet, in that moment, with Sheik washing the pumps while watching his behaviour, his rationality won. This decadent attitude couldn't last forever. Yoshi's crimes weren't going to vanish. He needed to get up and do something with his life.
His phone buzzed. It was from Luigi.
Bro, are you okay? The message said.
I'm fine. Mario replied, as usual. All his text messages over the past days were like this. There was a noticeable pause, the typing icon moving.
Wanna go the usual place? They've got a special. It's your favorite.
His finger hovered over on the close button, ready to reject. Then, he thought for a moment. Sure. He eventually typed back.
Really?
Is it a problem?
No, never mind, that's great! Peach said she was coming. Want to invite anyone else along?
Fox or Samus. Not Captain Falcon. I don't think I can stomach his loud attitude right now.
Awesome! I'll see you at six-thirty at the usual place.
Yeah, see you.
Mario put his phone in his pocket. He took out his wallet and placed two large bills on the counter. "Keep the change, Sheik. You deserve it for putting up with me over the past few days. And…thanks, Sheik. I needed that."
Sheik smiled beneath her mask. "No problem, Mario. You go and freshen up now."
Mario nodded back at her and left the bar, his heart feeling lighter than it had in days.
"Yoshi, I'm here!"
Yoshi sat on his bed, staring at his floor. The air was the cold, the lights off. The furniture was bare, most of his belongings taken for investigation. All he had were a few dusty books. He tried to read them, but the words simply bounced through his mind before exiting out the other side.
"I brought your food. It's beef stew!"
The faces of his fellow Smashers (would he even be allowed to remain as one?) flashed through his mind like a broken record. Vicious anger, deep betrayal, judging contemplation and even traces of pity. He was transparent, hollowed out and heavy as lead.
Master Hand ordered him to stay in his room, both as protection and punishment. It was fine. He deserved it. No-one wanted to talk to him anyway. No-one should talk to him.
Well, that wasn't entirely true. There was one exception and he simply couldn't understand her.
"You must be really hungry." Isabelle stepped towards Yoshi, holding a tray with a clear grey spoon and a steaming bowl. Chunks of hot meat and strips of carrots floated in the orange stew. She smiled as she placed the meal on his table.
"Eat up! It'll get cold soon." she encouraged.
She'd been attending to him ever since he was confined in his room. Bringing his meals, making sure he bathed properly, recommending books for him to read in his self-imposed house arrest. At first, he suspected Master Hand told her to attend to him and her usual friendly demeanor was simply being polite. But, she had long since crossed the line and ventured into the territory of genuine compassion.
It was incomprehensible. Isabelle, despite her demure nature and small stature, was one of the most knowledgeable beings in the Smash Roster. She knew what he had done and yet she kept coming back. Did she have no limits?
"You shouldn't be doing this, Isabelle." Yoshi said, sounding hoarse. A sentence he had repeated often. "Villager must have noticed. He's going to be so furious with you."
"Eh, I'll deal with him. " Isabelle said, still smiling. "Working with him for so long has told me all his weak spots, so convincing him will be a peace of cake."
"Why are you here?"
"Because you need to eat. You're not coming out, so someone has to make sure you eat." Isabelle replied. "Is something wrong, Yoshi?"
"Wrong?" Yoshi echoed. He jumped to his feet and slammed his foot against the ground. The furniture rattled. The contents of the bowl swerved and threatened to spill over. His hands clenched into fists and a loud, frustrated roar characteristic of his species escaped from his mouth. He stormed over to Isabelle until his shadow covered her body. She did not flinch.
"Of course there's something wrong!" Yoshi shouted. "You know full well what I did! Why are you helping me? Why can't you leave me the hell alone?"
"Someone has to!" Isabelle countered. "You're not helping yourself. Besides, I still care about you, Yoshi!"
"You're...you're not serious, are you?" Yoshi said, disbelieving.
"I am one hundred percent serious!" Isabelle fired back.
"I don't get it. I don't understand you, at all!" Yoshi wailed. "I did so many horrible things to Smashville. I set up that alcohol racket that nearly destroyed the town's working force. If it wasn't your interference, I would have had the entire town in my grip! And yet, in the end, so many lives were ruined. So many ruined families, divorces and even deaths were a result of my meddling. Why oh why, Isabelle, are you helping the person who nearly destroyed your town?"
Isabelle said nothing. Yoshi, having run out of steam, let his body slacken. His hands unfurled and his head drooped. The ticks of his old-fashioned clock echoed through the cell-like room. He waited and waited, each second a heavy eternity.
He felt a soft object rest itself upon his nose. He looked up and saw it was Isabelle's paw. There was pain in her look, yes, but also warmth and kindness. A part of him desired it, yearned for it, reached out like a prayer to a divine entity. A curl of shame burned in his chest.
"You're right, Yoshi. You did very awful things and I was very, very angry with you when I realized the extent of your actions." Isabelle began.
"Then, why…?"
"After you were confined here, I cooled down and went over what happened. You confessed everything, bowed to everyone and all but debased yourself. You didn't struggle when they came to arrest and confiscate all your belongings. After that and seeing your behavior lately, I've realized you were genuinely sorry for what you did. Does it make up for everything you've done? Of course not, but even still…"
Isabelle gave a shaky laugh. "I had a choice: stew in my own grudges like everyone else, or acknowledge your remorse and help you repent. While it was not a easy decision, I chose the latter. I suppose I'm not a very spiteful person. I don't believe that needlessly hating on a person, especially when they've expressed so much regret is a good thing to do. Perhaps there really is something wrong with me, but I don't care."
"I deserve this!" Yoshi choked out. "Why can't you—"
Isabelle interrupted him. "Master Hand told me he believes you weren't wholly faking the affection you showed to us, and I believe that as well. You have indeed committed heinous crimes, but I choose to believe that you are not irredeemable, which means I cannot stand idly by and let you waste away. I was taught to treat others the way I wish for them to treat me, and I refuse to compromise on that, even for you." Isabelle nudged the now lukewarm meal to him. "So please, eat and rest up, and let's have a good chat about what we can do next, alright?"
Yoshi fell to his feet, tears streaming down from his cheeks. This woman…! This unbelievable woman!
She was too good for him, and the rest of the roster.
The fateful day had arrived. It was time for Ren Amimaya to leave Tokyo behind, slip on the mask of Joker and jump into the world of professional ring-fighting as the newest member of the Super Smash Brothers' roster. As he drove his van down busy highways to the Tokyo airport, he couldn't help but muse on how much had happened over the last month. An attack from a gigantic hand, a heist involving an inhuman criminal and now he was being shipped to another world entirely. He was out of the frying pan from one trial and about to dive into another.
Not that he was complaining, he thought with a wry grin. If he had to choose between proving himself as the best and settling for a life of mediocrity, he would choose the former every single time. Spite had carried him to the top of his class. Determination had fuelled him to create his team and defeat the man who once wronged him. He intended to use that same determination was going to be used in the tournament.
His friends, with him always, were there to help him at the airport. They helped him unload his luggage and waved him off at the loading gate.
"You guys do know that you'll be heading off in a few days?" Ren said, amused.
"Yeah, but we'll miss you!" Ryuji said.
"Take care of yourself, Ren." Makoto said.
"Show them what the Phantom Thieves can do!" Morgana shouted, which came out a series of enthusiastic meows to the ordinary passers-by.
Ren nodded and walked through the gate. He was escorted towards a private jet. He boarded it, was greeted with a smiling, well-dressed attendant and giving a rather lavish menu. That attendant also had goat-like horns growing out of the side of her head. She poured him a glass of a sweet fruit drink and served him an array of expensive snacks. It occurred to Ren he was now an actual celebrity. He had to admit, he thought as he chewed on a chocolate, it had its perks.
The airport cleared the jet for takeoff. It soared briefly through the Tokyo sky before vanishing into a glowing, multi-color portal. Not a moment later, everyone around the world except the Phantom Thieves collectively blinked, and there was no evidence the private jet had ever existed at all.
"A press conference? At this time of the year. How unusual…"
"Is it a new Smasher? Please tell me it's a new Smasher!"
"Bah, after the last one, I wouldn't get your hopes up."
"BAN STADIUM!" Someone yelled from within the cramped auditorium. The person next to him quickly told him to shut up.
The conference hadn't even begun and already some in the crowd were beginning to lose it. It only spoke volumes of the cultural weight the Super Smash Brothers tournament held. Thousands of men and women were packed in an auditorium mostly used for political debates. The seats jostled with bodies and they weren't enough; a large number had to stand or even sit on the floor.
Harried security guards escorted VIPs to their spots. Reporters and their assistants clutched their passes around their necks, watching the stage with interest. Businessmen exchanged pleasantries, carrying business cards and watching for flaws within their competitors. High-tech cameras streamed the event to millions of viewers, their chats aflame with excitement.
High above, the Smashers sat in their own personal space. The usual cliques were there. The children rested at the front, holding their snacks and discussing the potential topic with fervor. The villains lurked at the back, their visages hidden in the shadows overcast from the stage lights. A cruel joke broke out and a round of deep laughter resounded. Residents of the Mushroom Kingdoms stuck together, Hyrulians lounged with fellow Hyrulians, the animals mucked about with the rest.
One thing was common: they were all observing the conference with great interest. Even the slightest change—new stages, rules or game modes—could tip the tournament scene on its head. A newcomer could herald the ascent of one Smasher while creating the downfall of another.
Yoshi was not present, surprising no-one. Master Hand had provided him with a livestreaming service for his computer. It was about the only part of the Internet he was allowed to access. Isabelle shook her head upon noticing. Her mayor tapped her on the shoulder, hurriedly changing the topic.
It seemed that the calm before the storm would last forever. But at long last, the lights dimmed. A spotlight shone on the stage as smoke and fanfare blew from the sides. Master Hand floated onto stage and the hubbub ceased. The crowd leaned forwards, their breaths held. The giant hand took a deep breath with a non-existent mouth and spoke to a microphone.
"WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, TO THIS VERY SPECIAL SUPER SMASH BROTHERS CONFERENCE. A GREAT NUMBER OF THINGS HAVE HAPPENED OVER THE PAST WEEK, BUT I HOPE YOU ALL STILL HAVE ENERGY TO CONSUME THE MYRIAD OF SURPRISES AND REVELATIONS WE HAVE PREPARED TODAY. I BET YOU WEREN'T ALL EXPECTING THEM SO SOON AFTER THE LAST CONFERENCE, WEREN'T YOU?"
A round of laughter and applause was the response.
Not missing a beat, Master Hand continued. "LET US START OFF WITH SOMETHING YOU WILL ALL FIND VERY EXCITING. SOMETHING THAT HAS BEEN SET INTO MOTION FOR QUITE A FEW MONTHS. PREPARING AND FINE-TUNING IT UP TO THIS DAY HAS BEEN LABORIOUS AND EVEN IRKSOME AT TIMES, BUT NONETHELESS WE ARE STILL PROUD TO PRESENT IT TO YOU. THERE WILL BE A NEW ADDITION TO THE SUPER SMASH BROTHERS ROSTER."
Instant reaction. The hubbub returned , this time twice as louder and a dozen times more fervent. Comments and memes spewed within the depths of the internet like a volcanic eruption. It was moments such as these that made the Super Smash Brothers tournament so appealing and no-one dared entertain the idea of looking away. Master Hand waited for the commotion to die down, before waving himself towards the wall behind the stage.
"LET THE REVEAL COMMENCE! MUSIC: ON! TRAILER: BEGIN PLAY!"
The lights shut themselves off, a projector slide rolled down from the ceiling and a video played in its center.
For us, the readers, it was a trailer that was shown to us a long time ago, and one that we may have replayed over and over again out of sheer type. But for the Smashers and the crowd in the auditorium, they were given the pleasure of laying their eyes on it for the first time in their lives.
Huh? Red?
interesting color choice. obviously a vampire lol
Take ur heart? Ehhhhhh
Sounds dope wtf
who are these guys their voices sound so bad
Shit taste confirmed.
Wait are these the Phantom Thieves?
No fucking way
Oh
Oh my god
OH SHIT OH SHIT
Vigilantes in smash CONFIRMED
All the speculation was right aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
I FUCKING TOLD YOU BASTARDS
The entire NATION of LEAKERS out there
Praise the Phantom Thieves for taking down the evil Yoshi!
Redemption for Yoshi MonkaS
Kreygasm Kreygasm Kreygasm PPMDKreygasm
Kitaaaaaaa! They're here wwwwwwwwwwww
JOKER LOOKS SO HANDSOME OH MY GOD
*internal fangirl screaming*
What brand of sorcery is this?
i don't know but it looks cool
Money match with Ganondorf WHEN?
I WANT TO BUY ALL THEIR MERCHANDISE
JOKER CONFIRMED FOR NEXT SMASH CHAMPION!
Simply put, the trailer was fantastic. The animation, soundtrack, direction were all on point. Then there was the contents themselves.
So much hype, so much noise. There was joy from the fans, rage from the non-believers and speculation ran abundant. It was truly another magnificent addition to the Super Smash Brothers saga. The applause returned in full force, some even standing up to shout their excitement away.
Suddenly, mist swept across the stage. A shadowy figure sauntered towards the front, its golden eyes pierced the gloom, sending shivers down the spines of those watching. It reached to its face, pulled away and unleashing a blue inferno. The figure laughed, sounding young and full of vigor, and the mist was swept away. Joker now was at the center of the stage, Arsene floating behind him, the spotlights shining down around him.
"Leader of the Phantom Thieves, Joker, at your service!" he proclaimed, bowing once and smirking. "I am the one who steals the hearts of villains and stops their evil deeds! Now that I'm here, this show can finally begin!"
He winked towards the audience, causing another round of cheers. Arsene, satisfied, cackled madly and vanished back into the nothingness. Master Hand gestured to the young man.
"INTRODUCING OUR NEWEST FIGHTER: JOKER OF THE PHANTOM THIEVES! HE ORIGINATES FROM TOKYO, EARTH, AND IS REPUTABLE FOR TAKING DOWN MULTIPLE HIGH-PROFILE CRIMINALS, INCLUDING YOSHI HIMSELF."
"So he was the one who sent the calling card…" Someone in the crowd muttered.
"He's handsome. Definitely got the pretty scoundrel look down pat." A woman said, tapping on her phone.
"He got Yoshi to confess without stepping foot here? Damn, he must be real good."
"That's it! I don't care how bad this guy is. I'm watching all his matches!" A young boy said.
"He would be perfect to sponsor our new brand of shoes!" A businesswoman trilled.
"JOKER, THANK YOU FOR INTRODUCING YOURSELF." Master Hand said. "IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY?"
Joker took the microphone and turned to the audience. "First of all, it's a big honor to be up here. Pleased to meet you all, everybody. I bet you are all wondering how I got Yoshi to confess. You already know about the calling card, but as for the rest of our methods? Sorry, not sorry, but they're a secret."
"Aw, come on!" Someone shouted from the audience.
"I didn't see myself as a professional fighter, much less an interdimensional one, but as my own adventures have taught me, life is this crazy, inane force that puts you to places you've never even comprehended before." Joker said, chuckling a little. "I'm very grateful to Master Hand and the rest of his colleagues for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. In any case, I look forward to getting to know all my fellow Smashers, competing with them in matches...and ultimately defeating them all in the end."
"What a cocky little brat." Bayonneta smiled, her tongue trailing over a lollipop. "My, my, I think I like him."
"Hmph. Let's hope his confidence matches his strength." Ike said, crossing his arms.
"Why do I feel like taking my team and bodying him on FD?" Red wondered.
"That magic is unlike anything I've seen before." Reflet scribbled in a notebook and chewed her lip. "Through what conduit is it channelled?"
"THANK YOU JOKER." Master Hand said, "TO FINALIZE YOUR INTRODUCTION, WE WILL PRESENT YOU A GUIDED TOUR OF THE SMASH MANSION AND ITS STAFF. TO EVERYONE ELSE, HIS SCHEDULE AND ASSOCIATED MERCHANDISE WILL BE AVAILABLE AT A—"
"Hold it."
Two solid words, spoken from voice that tolerated no adversity. They were a metaphorical gunshot that brought upon the silence. Heads turned up towards the Smashers' gallery. They saw Mario climb out of his seat and take a great leap into the air. He landed on the stage, the ground quaking and dust scattering from his impact. Luigi gave a silent cry of shock, Peach put her hands over her mouth and Bowser turned his head and snorted embers from his nose.
"Before we formally accept this newcomer, I, Mario Mario of the Original Eight, need to clear something up, Master Hand." He declared, loud and powerful.
"AND I ASSUME YOU CANNOT WAIT FOR ANY LONGER?" Master Hand replied, his tone neutral.
"That is correct." Mario said.
Master Hand considered for a moment. "VERY WELL. VOICE YOUR GRIEVANCES HERE. A CONFRONTATION WITH YOU WAS INEVITABLE ANYWAY."
"Thank you. I now wish to discuss Joker's last target." Mario said. "Am I understand that you were aware of Yoshi's crimes the entire time?"
"THAT IS CORRECT, MARIO." Master Hand responded.
"Then why did you not tell us?" Mario demanded, "Me, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, even Bowser; all the men and women from Mushroom Kingdom and its surrounding lands? Yoshi was a resident of our world so why we were not kept in the loop?"
Master Hand considered for a moment. "YOU ARE UPSET, AND YOU ARE RIGHT TO FEEL THAT WAY. MY REASONING FOR KEEPING YOSHI'S ACTIVITIES A SECRET IS BECAUSE I HAD BEEN COLLECTING EVIDENCE PRIVATELY FOR QUITE SOME TIME. IF YOSHI CAUGHT WIND OF IT, HE COULD HAVE SHIFTED HIS OPERATIONS ELSEWHERE, OR EVEN GONE AS FAR TO TRY AND DESTROY THE EVIDENCE."
Mario glared at the giant hand. "Luigi, Peach and I could have kept it a secret and you know it."
"I KNOW. YET, I DID NOT WANT TO TAKE ANY CHANCES. THAT IS WHY I DECIDED TO ALLOW AN OUTSIDE AGENT TO INVESTIGATE. JOKER, BEING A RENOWNED SPECIALIST EXPERIENCED IN REFORMING CRIMINALS, AS WELL AS A TOP ROSTER CANDIDATE, WAS THE PERFECT MAN. STILL, I UNDERSTAND THAT IS NOT A GOOD ENOUGH EXCUSE, SO LET ME FORMALLY APOLOGIZE FOR MY MISCONDUCT TO YOU AND YOUR FELLOW MUSHROOM KINGDOM RESIDENTS."
He sounded as remorseful as a gigantic, booming hand could be. Mario nodded. It was the best apology he was going to get considering the circumstances. That didn't mean he was happy about it. Nor would Master Hand would face many consequences for what he did.
"You. Joker." Mario said, turning around.
Joker held his classic, cocky smirk. "And what of me?"
"You and I are having a talk. Right here and now." He shot a glance back at Master Hand, who acquiesced and floated out of the way towards the side of the stage. Mario nodded again, before striding right up into Joker's face.
"How difficult was it for you to take down Yoshi?"
Joker glanced towards Master Hand. The being gestured back, granting a silent approval. "Oh, it wasn't that difficult. Just time-consuming. Apart from being a literal dinosaur, taking him down wasn't anything we hadn't done before."
"Well, aren't you confident? Let me state that I, Peach and the other Mushroom Kingdom residents and allies are very grateful for you for exposing a major criminal that plagued our nation for years. Now, our economy can stabilize and heal. That being said…"
He stamped his foot on the ground. "Even after everything that's happened, I still consider Yoshi my friend. And there's still a part of me that's furious that one of my friends was broken into tears by you."
Joker kept silent. This wasn't entirely unexpected. He didn't think Mario would be this forceful about it, though.
"Someone has to teach the new guy how things work around here, and it might as well be me. You and me pal, on Battlefield tomorrow, seven minutes and three lives, no johns whatsoever."
Dead silence. Then…
"Oh, shit!" Captain Falcon roared from high up.
"Mario has gone insane!" A member of the audience shouted.
"Oh my dear god!" A reporter with grease-slick hair and in a beige suit whispered fervently. He took out a phone and began dialling a number with all the energy he could muster. "This is a big news! I can't believe this is happening!"
From what Joker had heard of Mario from the promotional material, he was a happy-go-lucky hero beloved by all. But the one standing in front of him was no longer Mario, the beloved plumber of the Mushroom Kingdom. This was Mario the tryhard, Mr-fucking-Nintendo, and the first fighter in the entire Super Smash Brothers roster.
A lesser man would have backed down. But Joker had fought corrupts politicians, demons from the bowels of hell and even gods. And he certainly hadn't impressed Master Hand, defeated Yoshi, travelled between dimensions and come all this way onto this stage to give up.
"I didn't expect people were this eager to test my might!" He announced, cackling. He reached and grabbed Mario's hand in a firm handshake. "Mr. Mario, I accept your challenge. May the best man win!"
Mario clenched down on his grip, flames dancing in his eyes. The audience howled.
And the next day, in a certain commentator's booth...
"I'm Lakister!"
"And I'm Toad!"
"And we're your commentators for today's Super Smash Brothers tournament scene!"
"So Toad, who have we got today?"
"First up, we have the newcomer fighter Joker. He's the leader of the vigilante group The Phantom Thieves and was instrumental in exposing Yoshi's crimes to the worlds. His methods and powers are a big unknown, so we're all very excited to see how he fares."
"We've seen him summon some kind of demon from his body. Could he possibly have a relationship to the previous Smash 4 all-time champion, Bayonetta? Perhaps, a familial one?"
"Bayonetta having a kid? That's even scarier than her record last season! Anyway, as for his opponent, it's the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom, Mr. Nintendo himself: Mario Mario!"
"Mario, huh? This feels weirdly symbolic. The first fighter going up against the newest one, eh?"
"Yes, indeed! So, Lakister, why don't you go over Mario's record over the years?"
"Well, Toad, Mario overall has done pretty well for himself. He initially had a good start in first ever season, coming 5
th out of the first twelve. He struggled a bit in the Melee and Brawl eras, never as dominant as Fox or Meta Knight, but he seemed to really find his stride in Smash 4. We saw him take a good amount of tournaments in the previous season, beating top contenders such as Diddy Kong, Sheik and Samus. By the end, he was ranked 10th in the entire roster. Not bad for a plumber who got as low as 35th in Brawl. I'm really excited to see how the era of Ultimate will favour him."
"You think Joker's got a chance against this crowd favorite?"
"Damn, Toad, that's the million coin question, isn't? We all know Mario's setup: forward aerial, Mario tornado, the Cape of Doom and all the powerful moves in his arsenal. He's the very definition of simple yet effective. No flash or tricks, just sheer power wrapped in a straightforward package. On the other hand, Joker's a complete wild card. Who knows what techs this trickster's got up his sleeve?"
"Everyone's wondering about that demonic being he showed on the stage. What did Master Hand call it? A Persona?"
"It sure looks frightening. Question is, will it be able to stand up to a right hook to the nose? We'll find out today."
"Man, the stadium is jam-full. So many people want to see this newcomer strut his stuff. I saw a mile-long line as I went in today."
"Waiting in that must be hell."
"The benefits of being VIP, eh?"
"You got it, buddy."
"And it seems like the fighters are ready. Joker on the left, Mario on the right. Battlefield, three stocks and seven minutes, no items and no johns. Let's watch some Smash, everybody!"
The skies were clear and the air was cool. The crowd in the stadium was an inferno. There were team colors draped around necks, makeshift signs in cardboard and cloth and totems of good luck clutched in sweaty hands. Fans slugged alcohol and chomped down snacks while their neighbors excitedly discussed upcoming matches. It was an storm in physical form, overflowing with sound and energy.
Within the center of the stage lay a platform suspended in thin air. A spark of light burst to life in its center. It expanded until it formed a gigantic, translucent bubble that almost touched the edges of the stands. The crowd ooh-and-aahed as lights and shapes took form within.
Battlefield, a stage consisting of three platforms positioned in a triangle and suspended in mid-air beneath a flat plane. Designed since the Melee era, the stage had stuck as a classic and was a decent neutral pick for starting off. Its first mechanical, sterile iteration had been received favourably and it had only grown more and more organic and lively over time.
Joker took in the scene around him. He was on the far end of a floating platform lit up by glowing lines, pockets of ruined architecture around him. A lump of aqua crystals stuck out of the ground next to him and beside it a torn crimson banner floated from a rusting pole. On the other side was half an archway overrun with mosses and ferns. A gigantic waterfall roared in the background, spraying water vapor into the air.
He turned his head to the side and noticed the platform was above a massive dip. In the skies were dozens of floating fortresses. A wave of nostalgia struck him. It was just like facing Master Hand in that space-faring dimension. Did he create this stage as well? His powers were truly immense.
A green pipe popped up from the ground. With a loud 'Yahoo!' Mario jumped out of it. He saw Joker, tensed and put his gloved fists up. Joker returned with a smirk and went straight for his mask, magic already pulsing through his system.
Outside the pocket dimension, a large screen lit up with names and poses of the two fighters. MARIO VS JOKER. Many hollered the red's plumbers name.
"Mario, Mario, Mario!"
"Do the forward aerial!"
"Don't lose to this upstart, bro!" Luigi called.
"Mushroom Kingdom and allies represent!" Daisy shouted, "Kick his ass, Mario!"
"We're all cheering for you!" Peach cried, shaking a pair of red and white glow sticks.
However, there were an not inconsiderable amount cheering for this stylish newcomer.
"So cool!"
"Good luck out there, Joker!"
"Steal this win!"
"Better you than Mario!" Bowser roared.
"This guy beat Yoshi, right?" Falco said, grinning. "Hey, I'm gonna put fifty on this rookie. Let's see how far my luck goes!"
And up in the VIP booth, a place far up yet visible to all, a certain group of vigilantes were displaying their enthusiasm for the entire Super Smash Brothers community to see.
"Kick some ass, Joker!" Skull shouted.
"You can do it!" Panther followed up, holding up a large cardboard sign.
"Show the world what the Phantom Thieves can do!" Mona called, jumping up and down on the spot.
"Our blessings are with you all the way!" Fox called.
"Fight on, Joker!" Queen raved, fists pumping in the air, a brilliant smile on her lips. "Remember what you've learned and don't give them an inch!"
"Smash that plumber to bits!" Noir shouted, causing several staff members to back away from her.
"3…" The announcer boomed. "2…1…"
Back within the pocket dimension, in that split second, Joker's entire being flooded itself with red-hot anticipation. His smirk grew and became voracious, an expression of one who had sauntered onto the battlefield and relished its thrills.
Like he said, this was indeed an unexpected path in his life, but it was one he was prepared to welcome with open arms alongside his strongest counterattacks. Past this match with Mario, there were no doubt many challengers and trials awaiting him, ready to throw everything they got and watch if he had the guts to back it up.
Bring it on, he thought with a vicious grin. Let them throw everything at him. He might falter at first, but one day he'd crush them all!
"Fight!" The announcement roared.
Mario charged forward, Joker rushed to meet him and a fresh new chapter in Super Smash Brothers history began.
It's over. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thank you for coming this far with me. I'll let you in on a secret: I hadn't completed a story in a very long time before this. Started a lot, but never dredged up the motivation to finish them. I'm really proud to have finally achieved this goal of mine.
As usual, feedback/constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.
Some notes:
This got way too serious for a story initially about a meme. Maybe I should add the Drama tag?
The title was something I came up in five seconds before pressing the submit button.
I realize Snake would probably have a lot of insight about betrayal and how it can affect someone. However, I haven't played any of the Metal Gear games beside V and Rising so I don't know much about him. Hence why he didn't appear a lot.
I also haven't played any of the Animal Crossing games, so Isabelle's personality was based off what I saw from her trailer and fanart. Maybe my version is super OOC…
I haven't actually played Fire Emblem Awakening (but I did play 6 and 7). Robin seems like a rational guy/girl though.
Isabelle's speech took forever to edit (and I still think it could be better).
My interpretation of Joker is that he's a smug dude, but shifts into professionalism when the time comes for it. He still loves styling on people, though.
Yoshi's Shadow was based around Al Capone, a gangster who despite committing a fuckton of crimes was only ever convicted for fiddling with his tax. Yoshi's Palace is obviously based off the Prohibition-era Chicago. His transformed body is basically an evil T-rex with an evil Skeleton Mario riding ontop.
Why is Sheik a bartender? I don't know. Still, the look fits her.
My favourite parts of writing this story were the first chapter, Bob and Frank and the conversation with Fox and Red.
Makoto is best girl. Don't me.
Finally, will I write more Super Smash Brothers fanfiction in the future? I'll have to see where my inspiration takes me. Until next time, everyone!