AN: I hope you enjoy this chapter! Don't forget to review and to follow this story if you're not already!
Song list:
I'm not that girl - Wicked
Defying Gravity . Wicked
Brielle had always loved singing. She had always considered music one of the great joys in her life. She loved to sing along to the radio, she loved to dance around in her room and she loved to belt it out in the shower. Brielle had never considered music to be an aphrodisiac however, but after every run-through of "As long as you're mine" with Stella ended with them making out, she realised she might need to reconsider.
"We should stop," she breathed between kisses, her hands still roaming the other girl's body.
"You're right," Stella said breathlessly, but wrapped her arms more tightly around Brielle. Stella's perfume was intoxicating, sweet and light.
"I'm serious," Brielle said, managing to pull away just enough to look into Stella's eyes. Stella had very pretty eyes, the light blue of the summer sky. They were very different from the eyes Brielle was used to looking into. "We should be rehearsing."
Stella pulled away suddenly, looking at Brielle with wide eyes.
"Am I distracting you? Do you need me to leave?" The blonde got up to go, but Brielle grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her to her, kissing her playfully on the lips. Everything was so light and easy with Stella. It was all about featherlight touches and sweet kisses. Even if they weren't telling anyone about their thing, it didn't feel weighed down by secrecy the way her relationship with Emilia had been. Brielle ignored the voice that told her it was because the thing with Stella didn't mean anything.
"No, I just need to find some self-control and stop kissing you so I can think," Brielle said, leaning back against her bed and sighing.
"Sorry," Stella looked down at her hands, picking at her nail polish.
"Don't be sorry," Brielle took hold of one of Stella's hands, gently pulling it over into her own lap.
"Sorry," Stella looked over at her from under her eyelashes.
"You're adorable," Brielle leaned forward again, catching Stella's eyes. Even though Stella and Emilia were about as different as could be in terms of personality, Brielle had to admit she might have a type when it came to looks. Pretty, blonde cheerleader wasn't exactly an uncommon preference, but Brielle hadn't imagine she'd be kissing two different pretty, blonde cheerleaders in such a short time. "I'm just not sure we should be doing this. You're really cute, and I like kissing you, but I'm still caught up on someone else."
"Right," Stella, looked down at the hand still in her own lap.
"And you're still confused?"
"Right," Stella pulled at the hem of her cheerio-skirt.
"So we really shouldn't," Brielle said, but already she felt herself leaning towards Stella. "Unless you want to?"
"Want to?"
"Yes," she was so close Stella, she could smell her floral perfume, the same one she had worn to Arcelia's Halloween party. This time it wasn't soured by alcohol. "I just don't want you to get your hopes up."
"I won't," Stella shook her head minutely, her lips lightly brushing Brielle's and sending a shiver down her spine. There was something about Stella that made i very hard for Brielle to keep her hands, and lips, off her.
"Promise?"
"Promise," Stella said, closing the distance between them.
The first dress rehearsal for Wicked was a disaster. With only five days until their opening night tensions were running high, and everything kept going wrong. Kalyani hadn't rehearsed with the wings before so her balance was off and she kept knocking things over. Tobias kept twirling Emilia too quickly during their dances, while Dakota kept running over everyone's toes with Hazel's wheelchair. Frank always stumbled with his lines, earning eyerolls from the other cast members and stern lectures from Iris.
"Frank, you're not supposed to stutter until the song," Iris said stonily into the microphone.
"Sorry," Frank mumbled, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.
"Do I have to remind you that we're opening on Friday?"
"No, I know," Frank said, an edge creeping into his voice.
"Then you need to know your lines!" Iris raised her voice in frustration.
"Back off, Iris, he's trying his best," Katrina said from the floor in front of the stage where she was trying to tape together a set piece Kalyani had knocked over and broken.
"Then it's not good enough!"
"Guys, calm down," Everett finally stepped in. His official title in the production was co-director, but peacemaker seemed to be a more fitting description. He mostly let Iris make decisions about the production, only stepping in to help her get information through to everyone else, and to ease the tension when the pressure got too high. "Let's take five and then we move on to Dancing through life."
The group dispersed to either get water or cool off. Iris stormed off to the bathroom for another one of her meltdowns, Brielle sighed and followed. Everett took Frank aside, while the ensemble members took their phones out of their pockets in unison to see what they had missed. The other members of the glee club gathered in a loose circle. After checking his phone Dakota quickly broke off to call someone. Instead of just talking to them like a normal person he was panting heavily into the phone and only giving monosyllabic answers. Hanging up and moving back towards the group he got a few odd looks.
"Just my mom," Dakota tried to shrug it off when he got back to the circle. "Wondering if practice is running late again."
"So you faked being out of breath to prove it?" Emilia raised an eyebrow at him. "How does that prove that rehearsal for the musical is running late?"
"She maybe doesn't know it's musical rehearsal," Dakota looked at the floor, trying to avoid the incredulous stares he was getting from the rest of the group. It didn't really help.
"You haven't told your parents you're in the musical?" Hazel asked, furrowing her brow.
"He hasn't even told his parents he's in the glee club," Tobias answered, sending Dakota a pointed look. The blond shot him a betrayed look, and Tobias shrugged back.
"Where do they think you are all day?" Hazel asked, looking between the two boys.
"Football practice," Dakota admitted, shrugging. "Music really isn't a big thing for them, and they would rather I focus on school, and sports."
"But what happens when they find out?" Winchester asked. "Or if we leave for Nationals? They'll know then, right?"
"Yes, but then we'll have proven that we're not just messing around," Dakota defended himself, shrugging again and unscrewing the cap on a bottle of water. "We're actually good."
"They care if we're good?" Kalyani asked, scrunching up her face. "Aren't parents supposed to be supportive no matter how bad you suck? I mean, my parents came to all my spelling bees to watch me misspell 'parents'."
"You did spelling bees?" Tobias
"For three years," Kalyani said. "Then I realised competing is more fun when you actually like what you're doing."
"My parents paid for two years of art classes," Stella added. "And I still designed your costumes on stickfigures."
The group chuckled at Stella's comment and went on trading stories of their failed hobbies until Iris and Everett came back and got everyone ready to keep working.
The rest of the week went by fast, with more and less successful run-throughs. Kalyani quickly got used to the weight and dimensions of the wings and stopped knocking things over. Tobias and Emilia got the hang of the twirling and Dakota learned to be more careful with the wheelchair after Hazel accidentally rolled over his toes. Even Frank seemed to finally get a grip on his lines. Everything was set for their opening night.
After the guys had warmed up together Frank headed into one of the empty classrooms to change while Chessie, Tobias and Dakota went to one of the classroom made into a dressing room to get ready. It wasn't that he minded being around the other guys. They weren't friends, but none of them had thrown him in a dumpster or slushied him in almost a month, and he figured that was about as close as they would get. He just wasn't very keen on changing next to two football players. So Frank preferred to get ready by himself, which wasn't an issue until he tried fastening his wig. He already had his white billowy shirt on, and was leaning over a small mirror he had placed on one of the desks, trying to see where he was supposed to fasten the strap inside the wig.
Frank swore under his breath as he bit his tongue when the strap didn't attach. Breathing hard and feeling his frustration rise he kicked out at one of the chairs, toppling it over, and slammed the wig down on the desk. His anxiety about the performance already had his nerves running high, but he felt ready to punch something in frustration as well. He gripped the sides of the desk so hard his knuckles turned white and he tried steadying himself by drawing deep breaths.
Staring at his reflection in the mirror Frank wondered if it were too late to back out.
"Shouldn't you be getting ready?" Katrina suddenly appeared in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed. She was one of the few people in the Glee club who weren't performing, but she was around anyway to help everything run smoothly their first performance.
"I'm trying," Frank sighed and tried to smile, straightening up and holding up the wig by one of the horns. Katrina chuckled and walked over to him, taking the wig and pulling it over his head. Standing up on her toes Katrina gently reached over his shoulder to secure the wig. Frank tried to figure out if looking at her when she was that close was weirder than staring blankly ahead. He became acutely aware of his own breath and tried to not breathe on her face. Not that he felt he could breathe much anyway. Shifting her weight to fix the other side of the wig, Katrina stumbled and Frank instinctively grabbed her waist to hold her up. She gasped, a small sound, and looked up at him with wide, blue eyes. They lingered like that, neither daring to break the moment.
"Thank you," she finally said, her breath brushing his face. Frank swallowed hard, and leaned in.
Frank didn't think before closing the distance between them. He didn't know what made him find the courage. Maybe he was too nervous about everything to be nervous about trying to kiss her. Maybe it was the way her eyes lit up when she smiled. Maybe he was just tired of wanting to kiss her and ready to actually do it. No matter what made him lean down, he hadn't been prepared.
Kissing Katrina wasn't like other kisses he'd had, not that there had been many. She didn't try to shove her tongue down his throat, but she didn't press her closed lips against his mouth like they were stones trying to make a fire. Her lips were soft, and Frank felt the tightness in his chest let go. It felt like sinking into a warm bath at the end of a long day, the shiver up your spine as your muscles sink into the soothing water. He couldn't help but smile as he leaned in closer, continuing the kiss.
"I have to go," Katrina tore herself away from him and hurried out of the room, leaving Frank stare after her, his warm bath suddenly a cold shower.
Bouquet of pink and purple flowers in hand Stella quickly snuck down the hallway. She had been so excited to give Brielle the flowers that she hadn't bothered putting her costume on yet. The hallway was crowded with other cast members getting ready for the performance. Kalyani was on a yoga mat on the floor stretching, Iris was bustling around giving orders to Levi and Arcelia, while Hazel and Dakota were running through their choreography for "Dancing through life". From every room she could hear other people warming up and she caught a glimpse of some of the cheerleaders that were in the ensemble running through "One short day" in the choir room. Racks with costumes for the second act lined the hallway and the atmosphere sizzled with excitement.
"Break a leg, Stella!"
"See you on the ice!"
"Go get 'em!" Stella knew they were wishing her luck with the performance, but that wasn't the part of the night she was most nervous about. While she wasn't ready to come out and be Brielle's girlfriend to the public, she hadn't been completely honest about not having any expectations. She did have expectations, or hopes, more accurately. She hoped that her thing with Brielle was more than a friends with benefits situation. She hoped that she would get to spend more time with her. And she hoped that getting her flowers for their opening night wasn't too much too soon.
The butterflies in her stomach did somersaults when she finally reached Brielle's dressing room. The door to the room was ajar and without thinking or knocking Stella peeked inside. What she saw stopped her in her tracks.
Brielle sat in her chair in front of the large vanity, already painted green and wearing her simple blue dress for her first scene. Stella couldn't imagine anyone looking that good with lipstick matching their green skin, but Brielle was pulling it off. Next to her was Emilia, golden hair curled and done up, not yet in costume, but wearing a white tank top and jeans. She was leaning towards Brielle, tucking a stray curl back into the brunette's braid. It wasn't the sweet gesture that stopped Stella in her tracks, it was the way Brielle looked at Emilia. It was the way Emilia's hand lingered after securing the lock of hair.
"Thank you," Brielle whispered, barely loud enough for Stella to hear. Those two words said it all. Stella turned and nearly dropped the bouquet as she hurried away. Neither Emilia nor Brielle noticed that she had been there.
Rushing out of the room and down the hall Katrina's heart pounded in her chest. Escaping into one of the empty classrooms she finally released the breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. Sinking into one of the chairs, Katrina let out a breathy laugh. She had panicked when Frank had kissed her, the gentleness of it took her aback. When it came to fight or flight, Katrina had a tendency of flying. She hadn't meant to run away from him, but somehow her brain got "kiss him again" and "leave" mixed up.
Gently touching a hand to her lips, she felt blood rising in her cheeks and her heart skipped a beat. She hadn't let herself imagine that Frank actually liked her, she had told herself he was just being nice. Katrina silently cursed herself for managing to ruin it the one time someone kind actually took an interest in her.
Katrina:
Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
Despite her heart fluttering, Katrina felt a stone sitting heavily in the pit of her stomach. Frank was sweet with her, but he didn't know her. Whatever he was imagining her to be, that wasn't her. He might think that she was fun to be around on a night out, but he wasn't there for the morning after. She wasn't the girl he could take home to meet his parents, not when she knew how they lived. Shaking her head to clear it of daydreams about what they could be, she left the classroom.
Katrina:
But I'm not that girl
Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl
Slipping into the dressing room she shared with the other girls, Stella slunk over to her chair and mirror unnoticed. Putting the flowers down and breathing in to calm her racing heart and stop the tears that were welling up in her eyes from falling, Stella placed her make-up in front of herself with shaking hands.
Stella:
Every so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in
As she applied her foundation she tried to not look at the flowers that lay on the desk. They were beautiful, but a harsh reminder of the truth. Trying to drown out the bustle of activity of going around her as the other actresses got ready, Stella focused in on her make-up and applying it perfectly.
She hadn't meant to get her hopes up about Brielle, but she was so easy to like. Pretty, funny and accepting, it was really hard to not get attached. Thinking back on Brielle's warm brown eyes laughing back at her when she tried impersonating Mrs. Houston's Southern accent, or her fingers tracing circles on Stella's arm. The way Brielle always smelled nice, like she was perpetually fresh out of the shower.
Stella:
Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins her
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl she chose
And heaven knows
I'm not that girl
Gathering with the rest of the cast and crew for a show circle before everyone had to get to their places before the show, Katrina tried catching Frank's eye. Even if she couldn't be with him, she didn't want him to feel like she was angry about their kiss. To her disappointment he kept his eyes on the floor.
Katrina:
Don't wish,
Stella:
Don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
Listening to Everett say something inarticulate about being proud of everyone's hard work, Stella did her best not to look at Brielle and Emilia. The two of them weren't showing any signs of the moment Stella had witnessed in their dressing room, but she didn't want to look closer. She knew if she looked close enough she would find that she wasn't the on Brielle's mind after all.
Katrina:
I wasn't born for the rose and pearl
Stella:
There's a girl I know
She loves her so
Both:
I'm not that girl
Running out onto the stage with Emilia behind her Brielle's heart pounded, thinking of the scene ahead. She had tried to put the thought of singing "Defying gravity" in front of everyone out of her mind, but with everything going on she felt she couldn't focus. Her mind kept swirling with what she was planning for later that night and what had happened in the dressing room earlier.
"I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to come out to my parents after the show tonight,"
"Are you serious?" Emilia abruptly put her lipstick down and whirled around in her chair. The two of them shared a dressing room, mostly because Brielle needed to come in very early to paint herself green. Emilia shared it because her first costume took up too much space for her to keep it with everyone else's. "Why?"
"Because I don't want to hide from them anymore," Brielle answered, feeling like that was pretty obvious. "I've been thinking a lot, and I want to be me, all of me, with them. They deserve to know, and I deserve to be known."
"Bri, that's not a good idea," Emilia got up from her chair. "Why don't you wait until we're out of high school? We'll be in college and you won't be here anymore."
"What? So I won't have to deal with them?"
"That's not what I said," Emilia stepped slowly toward Brielle, holding one hand up to halt the other girl.
"But it's what you've always meant," Brielle took a step toward the blonde, crossing her arms. "You don't deal with your feelings, you just throw some mancandy on your arm, and pray no one notices you don't like him."
"I do not," Emilia turned away from Brielle, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.
"Then what is Todd?" Brielle asked, placing her hands on her hips and staring Emilia down. "He's just a distraction, so no one sees that you don't like boys."
"Don't make this about Todd," Emilia stated, turning back to Brielle. "This is just you trying to show off. Isn't that why you told me? To show off how brave you're being?"
"This isn't about you," Brielle said, but her voice came out smaller than she had hoped.
"Then why now? Why didn't you tell them before?"
"I wasn't ready then, I'm ready now."
"Bull," Emilia stepped closer to Brielle, narrowing her eyes. "You're not ready yet either. You're just coming out now because you want to prove something to me."
"Everything isn't about you!"
"But you're making this about me!" Emilia hissed back. "If this is really not about me, then you'll wait."
Emilia, spoken, on stage:
Elphaba, why couldn't you stay calm for once
Instead of flying off the handle?
I hope you're happy
(sung)
I hope you're happy now
I hope you're happy how
You've hurt your cause forever
I hope you think you're clever
Brielle stormed onto the stage, nearly colliding with Emilia and enjoying the look of panic on the blonde's face, and her faltering half-step back. The audience might not see or hear Emilia's sharp little gasp, but Brielle caught it.
Brielle, spoken:
I hope you're happy
(sung)
I hope you're happy too
I hope you're proud how you
Would grovel in submission, to feed your own ambition
Straightening her spine and keeping eye contact with Brielle, Emilia leaned closer to Brielle and sang with her. The look of spite on her face was exactly the same as she had worn before the show. There was an intensity in her eyes that hadn't been there during rehearsals.
Emilia and Brielle:
So though I can't imagine how
I hope you're happy right now
"Bri, listen to me. Just wait a little," Emilia took Brielle's hand back in the dressing room, surprising the other girl with the sweetness of it. Gently stroking Brielle's knuckles with her thumb, Emilia looked at her with so much vulnerability that Brielle felt she had to look away. "Wait until it's not about proving something to anyone else."
Emilia:
You can still be with the wizard
What you've worked and waited for
You can have all you ever wanted
"I know," Brielle answered softly, wrapping a hand over Emilia's. Tears welled up her in her eyes when she looked back up at Emilia, whose eyes were also misty. She shrugged and tried holding the tears back, with some success. "I just have to do this."
Brielle:
But I don't want it
No
I can't want it anymore
"We can't go back to what we were," Brielle reasoned, gently removing Emilia's hand from on top of her own. "I can't just be with you when we're all alone. I need more than that."
Brielle, on stage:
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
"What do you mean?"
"I can't live in hiding like that," Brielle shrugged with one shoulder, wrapping her own arms around herself. "I want to be open about who I'm in love with and not care what anyone thinks."
Brielle:
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
"I don't think I can do that," Emilia said softly, looking down at the floor.
"I think you could," Brielle said, looking over at the blonde. "If you just had some faith."
Brielle:
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
"It isn't that easy," Emilia answered, folding her arms over her chest.
"It could be," Brielle said, dropping her arms.
"No it couldn't," Emilia replied. "You don't know the cheerios like I do."
"Who cares about them? Who cares what they think?"
"I do, I care!"
Brielle:
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap!
"You shouldn't," Brielle raised her hands in defeat. "I don't, and I don't think they would care if they knew about you, or about us."
Brielle:
It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down
"You just don't get it," Emilia sat back down in her chair again, resuming her make-up, clearly agitated.
"No, I don't," Brielle said, sitting down in the chair next Emilia's. From out in the hall she could hear some of the other cast members laughing and wishing each other a good show. "I don't get why what everyone else thinks matters so much to you. I don't get why it matters more than what you think of yourself."
Emilia, on stage:
Can't I make you understand
You're having delusions of grandeur?
Brielle:
I'm through accepting limits
'Cuz someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
Glancing over at Emilia from her place downstage Brielle caught sight of the conflicting emotions wrestling in her, and wondered how much of it was acting. She couldn't see her parents, but she knew they were sitting at the back and to the left, opposite of where she was standing. She could imagine them, her mother smirking in pride and her father sighing in awe. They always looked the same at every ballet recital she had ever had.
Brielle:
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down
"Emilia, come with me. Let's tell my parents together," Brielle took Emilia's hands again, finding that Emilia's guard was coming down again. It was always hard to know which version of Emilia she would find. The soft, vulnerable girl she loved, or the ice queen everyone else seemed to love. Despite putting on a brave face and pretending to Emilia that she was certain about her choice, Brielle's heart skipped a beat and her insides twisted thinking about her plan. If she had a hand to hold it might make it easier and less terrifying. "Think of how we are together, how good we could be."
Brielle could almost see her own hopes for them reflected in Emilia's eyes. Her head on Emilia's shoulder watching performances in Glee club. Dinners with their parents. Holding hands at the movies. Stealing kisses between classes. Sharing milkshakes at the Great Shakesby and breadsticks at Breadstix.
Brielle:
Unlimited
Together we're unlimited
Together we'll be the greatest team
There's ever been—Glinda!
Dreams the way we planned 'em
Brielle held out the broom she had flown over, stepping closer to Emilia. A slow smile spread across Emilia's face as she cautiously placed her hands on the broom. Beaming at Brielle, Emilia sang with her. They had always sounded good together and Brielle's heart fluttered as they harmonised.
Emilia:
If we work in tandem
Emilia and Brielle:
There's no fight we cannot win
Just you and I, defying gravity
With you and I defying gravity
Brielle:
They'll never bring us down!
"Well, are you coming?" Brielle asked hopefully, smiling at Emilia. Seeing Emilia smiling and letting her memories of their relationship mingle with the dreams for a possible future for them, had Brielle forgetting about the present state of their relationship. They weren't together and seeing how Emilia's face fell, Brielle was sure she was about to be reminded of that.
Emilia shook her head minutely, eyes filled up with tears. Letting go of Emilia's hand and swallowing her disappointment, Brielle excused herself from the room.
On stage, Emilia shook her head, but this time it was accompanied by her taking hold of on of Brielle's hands. Meeting her eyes, Brielle suddenly found that the song described her feelings better than she could.
Emilia:
I hope you're happy
I hope your happy now that you're choosing this
Brielle:
(spoken)
You too—
(sung)
I hope it brings you bliss
As they took each others' hands and smiled through their tears it was like there was no audience. The lights, the music, the people watching, none of it mattered. Brielle tried to put all the warmth she could behind the words, hoping Emilia caught the intention.
Emilia and Brielle:
I really hope you get it
And you don't live to regret it
I hope you're happy in the end
I hope you're happy my friend
Their moment was suddenly interrupted as the other cast members, dressed as guards, ran onto the stage. Brielle hurried backstage to get ready for flight, while Emilia tore herself free of one of the guards' grip and ran to the other side of the stage where she was grabbed by another two guards. Watching from the side her heart swelled with pride as she watched Brielle belting the final parts of the song from the air.
Brielle:
So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Everyone deserves the chance to fly!"
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who ground me
Take a message back from me
Once Brielle was up in the air, she really didn't feel nervous about the final parts of the song. She didn't even feel nervous about talking to her parents. Caught up in the empowerment of the song, Brielle felt like she could do anything.
Tell them how I'm defying gravity!
I'm flying high defying gravity!
And soon I'll match them in renown
And nobody in all of Oz
No wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down!
Catching Brielle's eyes for a moment, Emilia sent her a reassuring smile. Maybe it wasn't entirely in character, but with the back of her head being the only thing the audience could see, Emilia really didn't care. Even if they weren't together Emilia was proud of Brielle.
Emilia:
I hope you're happy
[CITIZENS OF OZ]
Look at her! She's wicked!
Get her!
As soon as Brielle and her parents got home that evening she sat them down on the couch. Putting the flowers they had gotten for her down on the table, insisting that she would find a vase for them after their talk, Brielle swallowed to ease her dry mouth.
Brielle:
Bring me down!
[CITIZENS OF OZ]
No one mourns the wicked!
So we got to bring her!
"Mom, Dad," Brielle looked between her parents, her heart beating hard and fast in her chest. "I'm gay."
Brielle:
Oh!
[CITIZENS OF OZ]
Down!
AN: I really hope you enjoyed that! Let me know what you think!
By the way, we're doing half-weeks for pairs over on the tumblr, so head on over there and check that out!