"Here Cas, I got you a waffle. Extra syrup, just how you like it," Dean placed the plate down in front of Cas, sitting down across from him and taking a sip of coffee. Cas didn't nod, just picked up his fork and knife and began eating. Dean placed his drink down, taking a breath, "Did you sleep well, Cassie?"

As usual Cas didn't answer. Dean didn't expect him to, it was just routine. Maybe one day he would answer, just not today.

"So I was thinking," Dean continued. While he knew Cas wouldn't answer, Castiel always heard him. He knew what was going on, so Dean treated him just like he used to, "We didn't get to read Spirit last night. Maybe you want me to read it while you eat?"

Castiel paused, just for a second, but it was enough to let Dean know, yes. Dean pulled the book from his backpack underneath his chair. He put it out on the table. Cas inspected. He always liked having a reminder of the picture and feel before Dean would read again. When he was finished, Cas pushed the book back over to Dean.

The Inn dining room was getting more crowded now, and Cas was frequently getting distracted by the people walking around him.

"My heart galloped through

the sky that night

Back to my herd.

Where I belonged.

And I wonder if they missed me

As much as I miss them."

Dean sighed, I wonder if they missed me as much as I missed them. As always, he related it back to Cas. He missed Cas. While it's been written and re-written over and over, you really don't know what you have until it's gone. Did Cas miss being with Dean? Did he remember what it used to be like? Did he care?

But he kept going.

Now the mustang was stuck in two worlds, deciding between friends and family. The stakes were rising, even though it was early on in the book. At times Dean realized how joyously he was reading, adding voices and movements. He was so enveloped in it, he missed Cas' wide smile the entire time.

"Excuse me, sir," Dean was jolted from the book by a tap on his shoulder. He looked up to see a young woman looking at him, "Could you please quiet down? Others are here too."

Dean nodded, "Yes. I'm sorry."

She smiled, "And maybe read something a little more grown-up for your friend here."

Anger then crossed Dean's face, "Why don't you leave me to read to my husband. I've known him for eight years, so I think I know what I'm doing."

"Husband?" The woman scoffed. She breathed deeply, "ugh, I can't believe they let you two in." With that, she left them.Stupid homophobes

Cas' eyes were down now, a sad look shadowed on his face. Dean could see the tears threatening to spill, and he fell in love with Cas all over again. Cas bit his lip and scratched his neck, looking around for the woman again in fear. Dean lightly touched his leg to Cas', attempting to soothe his anxious nerves. Castiel breathed as Dean did so, though his shoulders still slumped. Dean gulped, stupid homophobes.

"Come on, Cas. We should be leaving soon anyway," Dean glared around for any sign of the woman before standing up. He pushed the chair out, grabbing his backpack and book and walking around to Castiel. Castiel didn't look at Dean, just stood up and followed him back to their room.

Dean fell back on to the bed, "Ugh, I hate people," then he smirked, "That's why I'm into angels."

Cas didn't look at him, just sat down a few inches away. Dean bowed his head, "Angels are a whole new level," he glanced over to see if Castiel was listening. He was met with blue eyes looking down, yet ready for him to continue, "for one, they're like super smart. I swear they know everything about people and animals and the world. Even in their eyes you can see it." Dean heard a breath; Cas trying to calm himself. "They're really smart, but they're so humble too. Sometimes, they don't know that they're smart, which is crazy, but they are. SUPERLY AMAZINGLY SMART." There was a small grin on Cas' face now and a slight blush. Dean sighed and continued, "Angels are also very pretty, beautiful even. I don't know how people look at them without fainting."

Dean looked up at the celing, "I have the best angel though," he nodded to himself, "yes I do."

After a few moments, he looked beside him. Cas was still staring at the ground, his dark hair a contrast to his still troubled azure eyes. He was fidgeting with his hands, his leg unconciously bouncing. This was fear.

Then, Dean's voice. He was reading. The world melted away.

"Cas?!" Lights. Blinding, penetrating lights. Dean.

"Castiel! Oh my chuck he's awake. I need a doctor!" White. A white room with a white floor and white walls, a splash of color on the tv. The color though, came from Dean's voice. His voice was green and blue, calm and welcoming.

"Hey Cas," The bed sunk a bit where Dean sat down, now peering at him, "how are you feeling, buddy?"

What happened Dean, what happened? Am I dying? Did that lady do it? Dean! Dean! What's wrong? Stop crying. Please stop crying.

Then, Dean tried a hug.

Castiel didn't even hear himself scream, but it must have been loud because 3 doctors came in before it stopped. Just a pause though for air. He didn't know where he was anymore, just that that touch was right on his arm, where he had been grabbed and pushed brutally into a car. Arms wrapped around him, arms that had caused the black and blue marks and scars. But no, Dean hadn't done it. Dean just wanted Cas to be happy, so why did the panic overtake him every single time?

The pain, it was too much. He just needed to sleep. Cas just wanted to sleep.

"We'll see how he does after three months. To be honest, Mr. Winchester, I don't know if he'll ever be the person you knew again," Cas could practically smell Dean's tears. They were salty and powerful, and grasped on to the air like their life depended on it.

"Doctor, I can't afford these bills. I'll be in debt the rest of my life," Dean pleaded.

"If you want him to have any chance of recovery, this is what must be done."

Castiel heard a sigh, "will I at least get to see him?"

"Saturdays are visiting days for the program."

Cas couldn't see, but he knew Dean had nodded with his head down. He knew Dean so well.

Cas breathed deeply, letting the sterile, bleachy air fill his lungs. The doctor turned, "Oh, he's awake."

Then, Dean was beside him, "Oh my chuck Cas I thought I'd lost you," He didn't hug him though, although Cas could see Dean wanted to just grab him and never let go. He could see the pain in Dean's face, but Cas couldn't stand anyone near him, not even Dean. Dean looked up and made a face at the doctor. Now, it was just him and Dean.

"Castiel..," Dean's voice was dry and empty, "We... I'm sending you to a hospital. I need you to get better, Cas," Dean ran his hand nervously through his hair, "I can't get through this life without you."

A hospital. With bells and whistles and schedules. Gowns and doctors 24/7. A hospital. Dean wanted him in a hospital.

Another scream, this one less violent, yet still painfully gut wrenching. He couldn't, wouldn't survive in a hospital. No fresh air or freedom. Bad food and boring days. He could live with that though. The worst part was, No Dean. No midnight reading and Spinal Tap. No cloud of cologne when he just entered the room, or stargazing on the Impala. No Dean.

He needed Dean.

"Cas, you passed out in the hotel room. Y-your breathing, it was barely there," Cas could hear the tears that now clogged his throat, "Cas I was so scared. Don't ever do that again, you hear?"

HELL YEAH! Cas wanted to scream. He had had flashbacks so vivid and repetitive, though, he almost hoped he could have died just to stay sane. It had broken him, and now Dean, sweet little Dean, needed to fix him. He couldn't think about it now, so Cas did what Cas did best. He slept.

Dean just watched as Cas slowly drifted to sleep. He watched when Cas reached for a trechcoat that wasn't there, hide his head beneath the blanket, and finally, sleep. He watched when Castiel's heart monitor slowed a bit, and when Cas struggled to sleep with the IV in. And he ached. He ached when he couldn't lay down beside his husband and kiss him and pull his head against his chest. When he couldn't run his fingers in Cas' dark messy hair, and couldn't stare into those shimmering snowy eyes.

"You're gonna be okay, bud. You've made it this far..." his chest hurt when he spoke, "So don't you give up on me. I'm not ever giving up, so you can't either. Deal?"

And he could have sworn, the heart monitor beeped it's cold reply.