Chapter 22

"We were just talking! You know, like I said I was going to?"

Alfred's shadow glowered from the other side of the hall. "It took a while." Arthur's eyes narrowed. "Just checking in."

Matthew squinted right back. Goose bumps erupted over the back of his neck as Ivan let out a low growl. "You made a point, Arthur. Just keep back for a little bit. Please!" He rolled his eyes as Ivan growled louder, unacknowledged, and Matthew jabbed his elbow against his stomach. "Hush! I need to discuss some things with Ivan before anybody does anything. Is that okay?!"

Based on Arthur's look, it was not, but Alfred agreed anyway, "Yeah! I got some stuff we need to talk about, too!"

"Urgh!" Arthur broke, "Do we? Haven't you annoyed me enough tonight?!"

Alfred spun around on his heel and stuck his hands to his hips. "Uh, looks who's talking, you nasty dove! Getting your feathers roughed up!" Apparently, he was immune to Arthur's Look of Death and kept goading, "You need to chill out and talk it out for once!"

"Hmph!" Arthur actually stuck his tongue out. "I tried that!"

Alfred held up a finger. "Once today."

"We're leaving!" Arthur snatched Alfred's arm, and a bright light engulfed the entire hallway. Ivan hissed, and they were gone.

"Oh, wow, that was...a little bright, yeah." Matthew blinked at the little dots invading his vision as the hall plunged into darkness once more. He rubbed his eyes, and gave a little jump as Ivan pressed against his back. "Uh, hey, a-are you all right?"

"Mm, no." Matthew almost yipped as it felt like the demon rubbed his face right between his shoulder blades. "Matthew, I would like that hot chocolate now."

"Okay, then let's go get some."

"And vodka."

Matthew promised as they thumped down the stairs, "I didn't forget."

Ivan immediately flopped on one of the stools at the island counter, staring down the black surface with a strong tangle of his eyebrows. He rubbed at his eyes, most likely still bothered by that heavenly flash.

No words passed between them. Matthew reached into the cabinet above the fridge and plucked out a sealed glass bottle. He turned around, gazing at his friend's back hunched over his seat, and wanted nothing more to press against him and stay there until everything was better.

Matthew shoved a clump of hair creeping into his face, like he tried to shove away his thoughts, and went around the counter to set the bottle of vodka down. Ivan went to grab it, but looked up with a deep frown when Matthew pulled it away and said, "You never answered my question. Are you all right?"

"Yes!"

"Don't just say that so you can get your vodka."

"Ah, you know me so well." Ivan was terse, "I am getting better. Maybe I just need to bathe. Maybe I am just thinking what I am going to use to bash that angel's skull in when he comes after us again." A smile stretched across his face, but it did not reach his eyes. "Maybe one of those pots you use would suffice. Ah, but that would be so typical, would it not? I am not looking hard enough. Maybe he would never expect me to rip out a pipe from beneath the sink, yes?"

Matthew stared down that wild look in Ivan's eyes. "No, because if you kill him, not only would Alfred be upset, which would make me upset, and I remind you, it's our house we're letting you stay in. Murdering somebody would get the police and other angels involved." He pushed the bottle toward Ivan too roughly, who scrambled to grab it before it could fall over.

Matthew drifted back to the stove, watching milk bubble against sounds of paper ripping and eager gulping. He started to feel sick for many reasons. Ivan let out a quiet, much more content sigh, "Your logic ruins me."

"Too bad. No more violence."

"You should tell that to the little angel! I told him I did not want to kill him, and yet he tries to kill me anyway?!" Ivan let out a bark for a laugh. "That was extremely...disappointing." Another silence fell. "You seem irritated. What did you and Angel's Boy talk about?"

"Alfred," Matthew glared at Ivan's back, "and I are trying to pass off a plan to Arthur to get you to stay here, so no one needs to kill anybody else."

"A loophole?" Even if he did not buy it, Ivan asked, "What is it?"

Matthew switched the stove off and took the pot to the cups of cocoa powder. "During that fight, Alfred noticed that light Arthur was shooting off neutralized you. We are thinking that if we are somehow able to harness more of it, you would be able to be...well, not demonic, and you could walk on the surface without anyone complaining about it."

When his company did not respond, Matthew glanced behind his shoulder. "Ivan?"

Ivan took another deep swig of his bottle. "It is that, kill the angel, or go back to Hell for good. I do not have many choices do I?"

Matthew let go of the spoon he was stirring with and dropped his hand to the counter. The cocoa swirled in the cups, warm and ready to drink, but he would not get anything down. This is my fault - even though Ivan had just verbally contemplated what to use to mash angel brains.

"Just go back to Hell."

There was a rustle of cloth as Ivan shifted on his stool. "What?"

A wet glob rolled off of Matthew's cheek and plopped on the counter, but he kept his gaze on the tiled backsplash. He sucked a sharp inhale through his teeth to keep his tone low and even as possible, "Go. Back. To. Hell, Ivan. You'll..." A half agitated, half grief-stricken gripe escaped his throat, breaking his resolve even more. "You'll only get hurt more because of me."

"Huh?" The stool squeaked as Ivan shot to his feet. "Why would you say that? Matthew!"

Matthew squeezed his eyes shut.

Ivan laughed in disbelief, "You are not the one that pains me! It is that angel who acts like his kind are the only ones that walk the Earth that pains me, and for what! Ha, because fools from above tell him what to do when they have no idea what happens here?! Because that is the way it always has been? Because they believe we cannot feel like they can, if not more?"

A low growl. Ivan's usually bubbly voice flattened as it climbed with anger, "I am pained by the way people believe they have to act! These angels know they could be different! I know I could...!" A little more level, "Do you dare blame yourself for that?" He repeated, "Do you, Matthew?!"

Matthew whirled around, tears streaming down his flushed face, and his voice cracked as he shouted back, "I blame myself because if it weren't for me, none of this would have had to happen! I should have just left you in my backyard so you would have never left that blood sigil and I would never called you here, putting your own life at risk because I was stupid enough to make you because I wanted a friend...?! Like, it's fucking ridiculous!"

Ivan opened his mouth, but Matthew wildly gestured toward his now-tattered coat, "Look where we are! You're all bruised and almost got killed because I had to get you tangled in this mess. You should have never wasted your time on me. Just go! Go back to Hell!"

Ivan narrowed his eyes, and his head shook back and forth. Whatever he tried to say only came out as furious stammers. Matthew turned his back on him again, quietly coughing. Then, out came a pathetic laugh, "All of your fault because of that?"

After all that shouting, Matthew whispered, "Yes." He cupped his hand to his mouth and sobbed into his palm, "God...it's so pathetic..."

"Stop that." Ivan came close. "Don't say that-"

Matthew smacked the hand on his shoulder. "Ugh! Just stop-!" He caught on a rough take of air and hunched forward to cough into the sink.

"Matthew! Matthew, you're making yourself sick."

Matthew jumped as a very warm body pressed against his back. He flailed an arm aimlessly, "Stop! You-you're-"

A claw gently scraped across the side of his face, brushing blond strands from his glasses, "You cannot blame yourself entirely, Matthew!" A wonderful giggle despite everything, "If it is your fault, then it is mine just as much. You will not tell me no! I will not take that."

Matthew clenched his jaw, just about to say such a thing.

"I could have stayed away, Matthew. I did not have to come back, but I did. I did anyway!" Ivan snipped right in his ear, "Yes, the angel hurt me, yes I stole other people's clothes, and yes, it is so cold, my skin bleeds, but I would bleed over and over again so you could keep calling me to be with you."

Matthew pulled away, blubbering as he fled around the island counter, "No, please, that's not okay."

"Not okay? And why would it not be okay?"

"I don't want you to get hurt over me, o-or hurt yourself because of me, all right?! I like you too much!"

"Too...much?"

"Ugh!" Matthew yanked off his glasses, carelessly tossing them onto the counter and pinched his eyes. The screaming. The murderous snarling in the night. Getting dunked in a pond in the middle of winter. None of them should have had to deal with that. Nausea shuddered up his stomach. A warm palm caressed the back of his hand, and the reek of alcohol ran down his face.

"Matthew, please do not be angry."

Matthew darted out of the kitchen.

"Matthew!"

Matthew shoved the bathroom door and fell before the toilet. Not much to dote on here; he gave what little his stomach had and groaned to the water, "Ugh, fuck...stupid fucking-urgh-!"

A strong hand glided across Matthew back and squeezed his shoulder. Matthew bent an arm around the seat and pawed at the flusher, groaning in disgust at himself, "I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't feel sick..."

Ivan pinched some of Matthew's hair behind his ear again and murmured, "Sometimes your mind gets sick when your body is not. Just let it out, Matthew. We're going to be okay, yes?"

"No! It's not going to be okay!" Matthew ducked his face to the toilet bowl and spat, "How can you keep saying that?"

A long breech of silence as Ivan steadily stared, before he let out a little laugh, "Because we're together. We were together when the angel came after us, and we'll be together if he comes after us again. It works out better that way, doesn't it?"

Matthew slowly lowered the toilet lid, about to stand up, but a shudder ran down his body, telling him otherwise. He folded his arms over the lid, and stuffed his face into the crook of the porcelain. "Can you get me some water? Please."

"Of course."

A flurry of fabric, and Ivan was gone.

Perhaps he should never come back. Matthew's jaw trembled, and tears pooled in his eyes again. All I can do is sit here and cry? That just made him cry harder. What could I do? What could I even do?

If not for Alfred, he would be dead. Alfred, who he had no business in dragging into as well as Ivan. Hell, there would not even be a business if-

"Oh! You are crying?"

Matthew sniffled and picked up his head.

Ivan smiled and knelt beside him again, putting a bottle of water on the toilet lid before brushing their cheeks together. "Is for me, Matthew? I am alive because of you-"

"No!" Matthew jerked away. "I-I just threw up!"

"And I have dried blood and dirt all over me. We're both disgusting."

"Ugh, Ivan," Matthew tried to be sturdy against the arm sneaking around his back, but a shaky laugh got the best of him. He grabbed the water bottle and nursed it for a moment before leaning against Ivan's warm body. "It's...it's not because of me. I couldn't do a thing when Arthur...I-I just stood there. Even when I tried, he almost did his thing anyway. It was Alfred that saved us. And how long is that going to last?"

"Oh, pessimistic Matthew? Even if that little man went through with everything, then at least we would have met our end at the same time. Unless you did not want to die then, maybe it would have been a good idea to hand me over to the angel, ha-ha! Maybe. But you did not. You stood against him. For me." Breath caught in Matthew's throat as the demon purred in his ear, "If the angel comes after us here, we'll be together then, too."

"What about your sisters, Ivan? What about them? If you died right there, they would never know what happened to you!"

Ivan slightly leaned back to gaze at Matthew's pointedly down-casted face, but shrugged, "Then, everything worked out in the best way possible! Ah, that gives me an idea. We should plunge down to Hell and stay there forever and ever and never have to deal with these angels again. You are very welcome to stay with me."

"Huh? Don't say that! What about my family? What about Dad?!"

"What about him? We can take him with us! He is...'very cool.'"

Matthew scoffed from what he was hearing. "Are you kidding? I think he would have an aneurism just from looking at the lakes of lava."

"I do not know what an an-nur-es-um is."

"What about my brother? I can't just let him deal with everything and ditch him!"

"Who says you are 'ditching' him? You two have to go on your own paths eventually. He is already starting with that angel."

"How can..." Matthew dropped his gaze to the floor. "How can you say those things so easily like that?"

Ivan tilted his head to catch his eye, but Matthew kept his face down, so he tapped his nose, "If the angel is going to come here at any moment and shoot us full of holy light, then there is little need to wander with our words."

Matthew picked up his head, meeting his friend's not-panicking gaze. "Ivan..." He sighed, "Maybe you should just run back to Hell before he gets here."

"Is that what you really want?"

"No," Matthew turned his head away as his eyes started to sting again. "I'm sorry. I don't want that. But I don't want you to get hurt again, either! Ugh, why does this have to be so complicated?!"

"Well, Matthew, if that is the situation..." Clawed fingers tapped the side of Matthew's face, bringing them eye-to-eye again, "You should always stay by my side no matter where I go."

"Um, what?"

Totally unfazed, Ivan smiled and took one of Matthew's hands and started to...pet it? "If you do not want me hurt, then you will watch over me and make sure nothing hurts me." He leaned in, goading Matthew when he dropped his stare to their intertwining fingers, "If we were to go our separate ways, that would certainly hurt me as well!"

"Wha...don't say that!"

"Oh? Why not?"

Damn that pouting.

Matthew let out a little gasp as claws pinched his chin and tilted his face up in a slightly rough manner. Not that he minded. Not at all. "Why not, Matthew? Is it because thinking of doing it brings color to your cheeks? Yes, look at you!" Ivan nuzzled his nose to Matthew's jaw and announced rather loudly, "What a beautiful color. Mm, so pink!"

"I-Ivan!"

"Hm? Is it a surprise that I would like to be close to you during the little time we may have left? You took such good care of me, it would only be fair if I took good care of you, yes?"

Yes, yes! Yes! Matthew leaned back a little, squeezing his eyes shut to try to make some kind of coherent language come out, "You just got shot full of demon-be-gone. You should take it easy."

"Matthew, don't act so cruel now. It does not suit you at all." Matthew's eyes flew open as hefty arms crushed him against Ivan's chest. "Let us keep each other warm for the time-being, okay?"

How can I say no? Matthew sighed as his imprisonment relaxed to a snug hold, and a little smile got the best of him when he pressed his face into Ivan's shoulder. I can't believe the angels would kill us over this. Eternal damnation felt a bit better than he originally believed. Especially when a clawed hand ruffled through his hair, scraping against his scalp and easing through his curls. "Oh! Mm-hm..."

A little laugh came from Ivan's throat, and Matthew tried his best to scowl. "I almost cannot believe it. Such a stunning creature and you are letting me hold you in my arms."

Matthew tried to sigh like he was irritated, but absolutely failed. Maybe he did not turn down the thermostat enough. "Come on," he smiled into Ivan's scarf, "don't say things like that."

"You do not like that? You do not enjoy when I tell you that you are the most beautiful thing I have laid my eyes on?"

And he keeps going with that, doesn't he? Matthew turned his head, peeking at Ivan's face, and - oh no, despite his lovely grin, his cheeks were plagued with a deep pink, too.

"I think you are saying that to be cruel again." Ivan tapped the tip of Matthew's nose and chastised, "Shame on you, Matthew."

Matthew snickered, guilty, and clasped Ivan's hand to his cheek before it could leave him again. "Would you just kiss me already? Please?"

Ivan was obviously taken back, just for a moment, before everything melted away and stole the breath out of Matthew's lungs (in a good way this time!). "You do not have to beg for that, Matthew. Oh," he leaned in, voice dropping to a feverish hiss, "but I enjoy it immensely when you do."

Yes, please, finally-! Their foreheads met, and Matthew's eyes slid close as a warm sigh ghosted his lips. His hands clutched onto the back of Ivan's jacket, not able to help himself, but before he could do anything, Ivan turned his head and nuzzled their cheeks together. Matthew furrowed his eyebrows, certainly enjoying the attention, but felt stumped and kind of let down.

I asked for a kiss. Ivan tugged away in the slightest, proudly smiling as his tail gave a wiggle to the air. Wait...

Matthew jerked back with an angry gasp, "You've been demon-kissing me the whole time?!"

"What?" All that mirth came crashing down to a strong tangle of the brows. "Do...do you not enjoy it, Matthew? You have done it before, too. What is the problem?"

Turns out, Matthew could flush even deeper. He probably looked like a cherry-red baby tomato. He felt like one. "N-no! I like...I like it, but-! Ugh, you've been kissing on me almost since the time we've met!"

"Uh-oh, it looks like I have been 'busted.'" Ivan hunched into his scarf, yet smiled to the bathroom floor, "I couldn't help myself. You are very cute."

"No, you're-!" Matthew clamped his mouth shut, pointedly turning his face to a blank spot on the wall when Ivan looked up. "Y-you're cute. Damn it." He put a palm over his eyes. "Ugh, you know what? Never mind. Fuck it. Let's just make out already, okay?"

"Oh! Okay!" A little befuddled, Ivan mustered a giggle as their noses bumped together. "A human-kiss this time, Matthew?"

"Mm, mm-hm!" A teeny snicker slipped from Matthew's throat just before their lips tentatively brushed one another. A hand settled on his backside, encouraging him to wound his arms over Ivan's shoulders and press their faces close again.

Matthew stole his body heat, Ivan stole the breath out of his lungs. It seemed like a fair trade. No demons, no angels, no winter. Just them, alone together in a quiet house, for however long that would last.

A sudden, strong buzz grinded against the tiles, and they jumped, pulling away from one another with breathless gasps.

Ivan tilted his head to a device on the floor, "Is that...your telephone?"

Matthew twisted around, grabbing the damn thing and stared at the screen. "It's...it's Alfred!"

"What? Where is the little angel?"

"I don't know." Matthew glanced up as his phone vibrated angrily in his hands, meeting Ivan's eye, and shyly smiling. "Should I pick it up?"

Most certainly, "Yes!"

Yeah, that was a dumb question. Matthew gave himself a little shake, to snap out of it, and pressed the pick-up button.

On speaker, Alfred screeched, "Mattie!"

"Yes, hi, it's me."

"I talked to Artie about the stuff!"

Ivan scooted so they were shoulder-to-wing as he stared at the device in obvious loathing. Matthew said, "Okay, tell me the stuff."

"So, I told him that you wanted Ivan to stay, and wanted to be his buddy, pal, whatever, and he got pretty ticked...again."

"Again," Matthew echoed.

"Yeah, yeah, but he seemed to chill out once I mentioned that light thingy. He actually seemed cool with it." Something shuffled on Alfred's end, and his voice sounded a little far away, "For once. Well, he didn't hit me on the head, so I think he's cool with it. Anyway!" Close again, "He told me that the angels could just send him back to Hell without a second thought, but I think your magic words got to Artie, and he decided to give him a choice!"

Matthew and Ivan exchanged shock and surprise. "Oh?" Matthew tried to keep his voice cool, "What would that be? Under his terms?"

"Of course! Dude, even if the guy has thoughts, feelings, and blah, blah, blah, like us, there's still centuries, no, millennia of distrust and fighting between angels and demons. It's for the safety of all of us!"

Matthew rolled his eyes. "That's implying that Ivan is going to eat everyone's babies and rain fireballs onto Earth!"

Ivan made a noise of thought. Alfred's voice dipped, like he was trying to be quiet, "I know, Mattie, but if we're going to change things for the better, this is how it has to start. Real slow, but we can do it."

"Al?" Matthew peeked at his friend, who steadily gazed into his eyes. A timid smile sprouted along Ivan's face, which proved to be contagious.

Alfred's voice shot up, and they flinched, "Oh, right! Um, if he wasn't even planning to - raise Hell - get it, raise Hell?" Alfred let out a short laugh, "There's still that distrust between them. Not only is it because the whole angel-versus-demon thing, but part of it's personal, apparently. There was a demon sighting about a decade ago - guess who it was - and he scared a bunch of people."

Matthew gave Ivan a hard look, and Ivan ducked his head.

Alfred continued, "I guess you're not supposed to do that, because what happens if people find out about actual demons and angels? All the crazies will come out and try to start the Armageddon!"

Matthew held the phone from himself and whispered, "Did you cause mayhem and scare people around the time we first met?"

"Mayhem he calls it," Ivan snorted, but a giggle slipped up. "Was that Arthur so long ago? I don't remember. A lot happened that night and it was a lot to take in."

Another elbow to the ribs. "What do you suppose you were doing?"

An easy question, "We were playing, Matthew! Hee-hee!"

Right, playing my ass. Matthew put the phone between him and Ivan again. "So, what's going to happen?"

"Artie's going to find other angels nearby. No matter what Ivan chooses to do, there's going to be a meet-up spot, and they expect him to be there, or else they're going to look for him. I don't think either of you would want that. This doesn't have to end with anyone getting hurt!"

Neither jumped with joy from the new information. Breath blew in Matthew's ear; "What...what is the proposition?"

Matthew relayed the question, and Alfred said, "They can neutralize his...um, demon-ness like we talked about. Isn't that great? The only way the angels are going to allow Ivan to walk around on the surface is if they smother his demon stuff. Whenever he goes to Hell or whatever, just not up here, he can be whatever he damn well chooses. I'll text you the details so you don't lose them."

"Like you would?" Matthew quietly laughed. "Thanks, Al, really."

"Hey! You're my bro, okay?"

Their heads leaned against one another with a joined sigh of relief. "Of course..."

"So, your guy is all right with this? I don't think it's going to be a tickle fest for him."

"We're both well aware."

"All right! If you say so..." Totally unabashed, "Oh, hey! You're still going to talk to him about The Feelings, right-"

"Yep, sure. Bye, Al." Matthew abruptly hung up his phone and smiled at the dimming screen. Ha-ha, you're too late!

Ivan nudged the side of his face. "The angel agreed to this?"

"Yeah." Matthew twisted to gaze at the odd calm on Ivan's face. "It's going to be the neutralization route." His phone buzzed again, and he glanced down to a new message notification. 'Go the woods w/ the creepy benches near that pond (u no the 1) TOMORROW at like 2. You got time to sleep in ;) '

"Al just sent me the meet-up point for the plan to take place. It's tomorrow."

"Oh, that soon?"

"Yeah! The sooner...the better..." Matthew's voice trailed off from Ivan's lack of emotion. "Right?"

"Do not worry, Matthew. I...I will do it." Ivan wound an arm around Matthew's waist to pull him closer without smiling. "Just so we can have a little more time together."

"What are you talking about? Once everything is said and done, you'll be like a human. Or like, just...repressed? Al said you could still be a demon anywhere else, so it shouldn't be permanent if it's bugging you. We'll have all the time together." Matthew tapped Ivan's cheek to urge a laugh, or smile, or something, "I'm sure we'll work something out."

"I am not concerned about the aftermath as much as I am worrying that there is going to be an aftermath."

"Ivan..."

"When Arthur brought that light on me, I felt as if I were suffocating and baking to death at the same time, and that was only one angel. He is going to need more manpower for this, and I am going to deliver myself to several other angels that will be more than ready to shoot me full of their light."

"Um, Ivan, that is the plan. You...you think this is some sort of trap?"

Ivan's shoulders rose. "What better and quicker way to deal with me than this? Alfred speaks loudly, and he said that whether I refuse or not, I am expected to be there."

Matthew clenched his jaw. "I told you. I told you to go back to Hell-"

Interrupting the snippy 'I told you so,' Ivan bumped their foreheads together. "Not without you." He pulled away to gaze at Matthew's sour expression.

Matthew pointedly turned his head away.

"If you do not want to do it, then say so."

"Not yet. I'm not ready. I'm sorry."

"We will go with the plan."

"But I don't want you to get hurt! Ugh," Matthew smack his forehead with his hand. "I'm so confused!"

Ivan reached for Matthew's wrist and urged him closer, "Matthew, there is no reason to hit yourself." After a moment of thinking, finally, a little smile lifted his cheeks. "You should kiss me instead."

Matthew sniggled like a devious child, unable to help himself, "You're right. I should."