Ch 21

authors warning: poorly written smut ahead

River ran through the hospitals lobby and was directed to the ICU, Dean had made it out of surgery and was still being stabilized. She hurried down the hallway and nearly ran into the trench coated Angel, Castiel. "You! You son of a bitch!" she stormed towards him, "You did this to him. Why aren't you in there with him! Heal him!" She pushed the angel, well tried to push him but he stood rooted to the floor and she staggered backwards. She would have fell on her ass if Castiel hadn't shot his hand out and caught her.

"River, I never wanted this to happen. You must believe me, if I could change any of this…" River pulled herself free of his grip and walked into the ICU. Dean was unconscious and almost unrecognizable, his face swollen and bruised, a breathing tube still in his throat and attached to a machine. Monitors and equipment beeped with his heart rate, his respirations and oxygen saturation. She walked the room reading the settings on the machines and medications.

"Excuse me, can I help you?" a nurse asked entering the room.

River turned to face her, "This medication is the wrong dose."

"Excuse me?"

"Neo-synephrine, right here." She jabbed her finger at the little plastic bag of medicine. " This is quadruple strength and this pump is set for double strength, you're giving him the wrong dose!" she yelled.

The nurse bristled, adjusting the stethoscope around her neck and her name badge, "Ma'am, how are you related?"

"I'm his friend. Now," River glanced at her name tag, "Jackie, really? Alright, Nurse Jackie, fix this fucking med or I will."

"Only family is allowed in the ICU when the patients are this critical. If you don't leave I'll have to call security."

"You really don't want to do that." River said quietly. The nurse turned back to her desk and picked up the phone.

"Wait!" Sam ran up to the nurse, "Look, that's my brother. Please let her stay, she's his family."

Jackie huffed and set the phone back down, "I'll have to check with the doctor." She turned to walk away and River yelled after her, "Come fix this damn med first!" The nurse stormed back into the room and checked the medications dripping into Dean. River stood over her shoulder and watched as she reprogrammed the pump.

"Are you a nurse?"

"I used to be," River answered quietly. She let Jackie leave in peace and pulled a chair up to Dean's bed. "What the fuck happened Sam?"

"Alastair. He must've got free somehow and he…he did this. He's dead River. I was able to…I killed him with the knife," Sam lied. "The Doc said Dean had a laceration on his spleen, a concussion with a hairline skull fracture, broken ribs, broken nose. He'll pull through, River, he's strong."

"You kicked me out over that demon…you left me behind… Can I just have some time alone with him?" Sam nodded and left the room. River took Dean's cool fingers in her hand and rested her head next to his shoulder. "You stupid asshole. I don't want lose you so you need to wake up."

Castiel was waiting in the hallway and indicated to Sam to follow him to a private area. "Get in there and heal my brother!" Sam demanded.

"I can't," Castiel said quietly.

"Bullshit. He's hurt, maybe dying because you can't keep a devils trap in place!"

"I don't know what happened to that devil's trap, Sam. It should have held."

"This was pointless, this whole thing was pointless," Sam stammered, "The demons are behind this. They aren't the ones killing angels." He turned away from the angel and walked towards the waiting room to sit with Bobby. Castiel disappeared in a flutter of wings.

Several hours later visiting hours were up and it took two security guards, Sam and Bobby to convince River to leave Dean's side. "We'll be back at 7:00 am on the fucking dot!" River yelled as the ICU doors swung shut. They spent the night sleeping on the uncomfortable plastic chairs in the waiting room.

Dean made an incredible turn for the better a little after midnight: he was breathing on his own and deemed strong enough to come off the ventilator and most of the medications to stabilize his heart and vital signs. His surgeon came to the waiting room and told Sam, River, and Bobby 'It was near miraculous'. The hunters exchanged a look and smiled.

"Are you ok?" a deep, gravelly voice woke Dean from restless sleep.

He opened his gritty eyes and turned his sore neck to face Castiel. The angel sat quietly in the chair next to his bed and stared at Dean with his unreadable ice blue eyes. "No thanks to you. You need to learn how to manage a damn devils trap."

"And You need to be more careful," Castiel warned. Dean laughed and winced as pain shot through his midsection. "No. Listen to me. I went back to the warehouse, to check the devils trap. I drew it myself and there is no way a demon could have gotten past it."

"And?"

"Uriel betrayed us. He sabotaged the devils trap ,he wanted Uriel to kill you…. He's dead. Anna killed him to save me," Castiel sat forward in his chair, "There are angels working to help bring about the apocalypse, followers of Uriel that want to raise Lucifer."

Dean swallowed painfully, "Is it true? Did I break the first seal?"

"Yes. When we leaned what Lilith had planned for you, we laid siege to hell trying to get to you before-" Castiel answered.

"Before I jump started the apocalypse."

"We were too late. And I am sorry for that."

"If…if River had taken Lilith's deal," Dean started, "Could we have prevented this."

"It is written that 'The righteous man will be sent to hell in the name of purest love'." Castiel stared at Dean.

"Why didn't you just leave me there, then?" Dean said as shame filled tears fell from his eyes.

"It is not blame that falls on you, Dean. It's fate," Castiel told him. " 'The righteous man who begins it is the only one that can finish it'. You must stop it."

"Stop what? Lucifer? The apocalypse? What the hell does that even mean?"

"I don't know Dean. They don't tell me much," Castiel looked past Dean into the hallway outside his room.

"I can't do it, Cas. I'm not strong enough."

"I believe visiting hours have started again." Castiel disappeared as River, Sam and Bobby rounded the corner.

"We were told 7:00 am, it's 7:01 sweet cheeks." River told the harried looking nurse following on her heels, "Hey, hot stuff. You look like shit." Dean quickly wiped his eyes. "Nurse 'Rules and Regulations' how 'bout you get him some pain medicine?" River yelled over her shoulder.

"Shouldn't you be nice to them? You used to be one," Dean mumbled.

River smiled and shrugged her shoulders, "What's this, jello?" She picked up a small plastic container of orange goop. "You need to be spoon fed?" Sam and Bobby smiled at them and Dean shook his head.

They waited several more hours in the cramped hospital room before Dean was finally cleared for discharge. Dean gave them a condensed version of his discussion with Castiel. River smiled gleefully when she heard the Uriel was dead. "Wow, Tylenol with codeine. Very magnanimous of you Doctor," River snarked taking the prescription for pain medicine from Dean's doctor. Dean sat waiting in a wheelchair smiling as River gave every single person a hard time about everything, she complained about Dean's wounds and they were given another bag of dressing supplies, he watched as she snuck into a supply room and came out with a bag of more first aid supplies, IV fluids and socks with little rubber grips on the bottom "We were totally out of first aid stuff after that last soiree." She murmured to Sam shoving the bag into his big arms.

"I'm fine, I can drive," Dean argued as Sam pulled Baby up to the curb.

"Get in the fucking car, Winchester." River said helping Dean slide into the passenger seat.

Sam pulled off the highway after dusk, "Guys, I'm sorry but I gotta stop. Maybe just for a few hours so I can rest." He found a motel and pulled into the parking lot. "I'll go get the rooms," Sam said climbing out of the car.

River and Dean sat silently in the car for several minutes. "I think…I think we should talk, Dean." She said to the back of his head. He nodded in response. Sam returned with the room keys and they grabbed their bags. Dean followed River to her door and shifted nervously as she unlocked it. Sam stared at them, mouth open in surprise. "Call us in the morning, Sammy." River yelled before closing the door. They put their bags on the small table in the center of the room and shrugged out of their jackets, tossing them on top. They avoided each others eyes and River let out a deep, nervous breath. "Dean-" She turned towards him and noticed how close they were, barely a foot of space between them. He stepped forward and gently ran his fingertips from her jawline, up through her long hair and rested his hand on the back of her head. She didn't push him away so he closed the gap between them, pressing his lips to hers. Softly at first. Barely tracing his full, slightly chapped lips along her soft bottom lip. Her breaths came in short, shallow gasps as he took her lips fully in his. She moaned into his mouth, pulling at his shirt to get him closer. His kiss became hungrier, dragging his tongue into her mouth, his free hand squeezing her hip. Then he stopped…it took River a moment to realize he had stopped moving and her cheeks suddenly felt warm and wet. She opened her eyes and looked up at Dean. He was crying silently, his green eyes squeezed shut. "Dean?" she cupped his face in her hands. Another sob racked his shoulders and he collapsed to his knees, wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face in her stomach. River ran her fingers through his short, chestnut hair. "Please talk to me."

"I started this. I broke-I broke the first seal," he took a shaky breath. "Alastair, he tortured me in Hell. Every night he would offer a deal, if I wanted off the rack I had to put souls back on it and hurt them like he hurt me." River kept her fingers in his hair, ran them soothingly down his neck. "I tortured so many souls…I did terrible things to them…I'm a monster."

"The first was a woman, I hear her screams in my head every night." He looked up at River, "When I drew her blood I broke the seal and started the apocalypse." River let out a deep breath and closed her eyes as her own tears started to fall. "I…god…I hate myself so fucking much. I can't- …I don't deserve to have someone like you in my life. I just wanted you to hate me, to get you away from me. To save you…" His shoulders shook as he choked on another sob. "I love you. I love you so much it hurts and I am so sorry…" he broke off, crying into her stomach. River leaned her head back against the wall and kept her fingers carding through his soft hair. Dean stopped crying several minutes later emotionally spent still grasping Rivers waist quietly.

She helped him stand, wiping the tears off his face. "Whatever you did, it's not your fault. I don't hate you… I never will." Dean stood still, face stoic but he closed his eyes when she spoke. River grasped his hands gently and kissed his finger tips. "Come on." She led him into the small bathroom and ran a hot shower. He moved mechanically when River told him to get undressed and helped him climb in the shower. She climbed in naked next to him a moment later. Dean remained near catatonic while she gently washed away the grime and blood from the warehouse that still covered his body, closing his eyes when she told him to so she could wash his hair. She turned the water off once they were both washed and stepped out, wrapping a towel around her self before helping him get out. "Dean, put your boxers on." She held out a pair to him and he stared at them confused for a moment before remembering how to get dressed. River quickly pulled her own underwear and a shirt on and pulled the blankets down on the bed. "Get in," she instructed.

He lay down, watching as she walked back towards the door, "Where are you going?

"I'm just making sure we're locked up." River told him climbing in behind him a moment later and wrapping her arm around his waist. He put his hand over hers and squeezed it. "I'm here, Dean. I'm not leaving. Get some sleep." She kissed his shoulder and spoke quietly in his ear. River allowed herself to fall asleep only after his breathing slowed and deepened.

Dean woke sometime the next morning from the annoying buzz of a cellphone. He blindly groped for it where it vibrated on the nightstand, "Yeah, Sammy, what?…Who cares if I answered River's phone…Wait. River?" He sat up in the bed realizing River was no longer laying next to him. She opened the bathroom door a moment later, toothbrush hanging out of her mouth.

"Wha-?" she asked turning back to the sink to rinse her mouth out. Her hair was wavy and unbrushed hanging down her back, the shirt she wore to bed riding high on her hips as she leaned over the bathroom sink. Dean audibly groaned appreciating the way her black boy shorts stretched over the round curve of her ass.

"You- uh you want breakfast?" he asked sitting back against the headboard. She shook her head, pulling her shirt off and tossing it onto the floor. Dean groaned again as she walked towards him, her full breasts swaying slightly with each step. "No we're good…" Dean hung up the phone and tried setting it back on the nightstand but missed and it clattered to the floor.

"I was gonna say something sexy or seductive…but I couldn't think of anything so," she climbed onto the bed and straddled his waist. River bit her lower lip and smiled feeling his erection pressing through his boxers when she sat on his lap. "I want you to make love to me and then I want you to fuck me."

"I can do that." Dean told her, his eyes wide as she rubbed herself along his erection again and smiled. He brought his hands to the back of her head and tangled his fingers in her hair, bringing her lips to his. Their lips met, soft and warm and needy for each other. She pressed herself into his chest and moaned, Dean ran his tongue along her lower lip and slipped it in her mouth, tasting the mint from her toothpaste. His hands left her hair and went to her breasts, massaging them gently and flicking his rough thumbs over her nipples. Dean dipped his head down, kissing a trail from her neck to her breasts, his tongue swirling over her left nipple while he twerked the other gently between his fingers. River let her head drop back, her long hair brushing against Deans outstretched legs as he moved his mouth to her other nipple. She put her hand in his boxers and ran her fingers along his hard length. It was Dean's turn to moan and his mouth fell away from her breast. She sat back hooking her thumbs under the thin fabric of his boxers and started to pull them down; Dean lifting his hips enough for her to finish pulling them down. His erection was free and standing up against his flat, tanned abdomen. Dean watched as River licked her lips then bent down and ran her tongue around the dark red head of Dean's penis before dipping into the slit and lapping up the beads of precum. "Oh fuck, princess," Dean hissed.

She ran her tongue down his shaft drawing a wet stripe before taking him into her mouth and slowly starting to bob her head. His hands tangled back in her hair and she moaned around his dick, her tongue felt warm and firm around his hard shaft and he fucked his hips into her mouth as she started sucking hard. She bobbed her head faster trying to take as much of as she could, having missed the feel and taste of him. Dean grunted, "Baby, you gotta stop. I wanna make this last." River pulled her lips off him with a loud pop and moved back to his lap, her wet panties still separating them. Dean kissed her harshly again, sucking and biting her lower lip before flipping them over and pinning River underneath him. She bucked her hips into his, trying to get some friction on the building throb in her core.

"God, Dean, I need you…" she moaned. He kissed a trail down her neck, down the middle of her chest, to the round edge of each of her hips. Her breathing was shallow, quick little pants as she watched Dean move lower.

"I'm gonna make you feel so good," he promised, before placing a soft kiss right above her clit. He moved lower and licked a flat strip from her lower lips to her clit, curling his tongue around the sensitive little bud. Rivers hands tangled in the sheets and her mouth hung open as she let out a low, "Oh." "I almost forgot how sweet you taste," he murmured, settling his shoulders underneath her bent legs and licking his tongue along her folds again. Her hips bucked up as his slipped his tongue inside her warm center.

"Please, Dean…" her hands pulling tighter on the blankets as she lifter her head watching as Dean moved his mouth back to her clit. His green eyes met her lust filled blue eyes as he fastened his lips around her swollen clit and sucked hard. Her moaning grew louder as she circled her hips against his face. "Please, I need…please." Dean smiled at her begging, watching as she came undone under his ministrations. He slipped two thick fingers inside her and pumped them slowly in and out as her breaths came in short gasps. His fingers were curling and scissoring inside of her, stretching her for his hard, waiting erection. He put his mouth back on her clit and sucked again, curling his fingers inside of her and she went over the edge. Her hands went to his short hair and she pulled, her hips trembling as her orgasm washed over her. He gave her pussy one final long lick tasting her cum before stretching back over her body. "I love you." She said huskily, lifting her head to kiss his chin and lips, tasting herself on them.

Dean pushed inside her slowly, eyes never leaving her face. Watching as her eyes fluttered shut and a smile tugged at her open lips as he stretched her just the way she needed. "Fuck, you feel so good." He leaned his forehead down and rested it on hers, their noses brushing and breaths mingling in warm pants as their hips pressed against each other and he was fully inside her.

Her hands went back to his hair and they kissed softly, Dean moving his hips in a slow purposeful rhythm. She traced kisses around his collarbone and chest lazily tracing her tongue around the pentagram tattoo. She wrapped her legs around his hips, arcing up begging him to go deeper. "You're gonna kill me," he muttered against her lips, "I'm trying to make love to you here."

"I want you to fuck me," she murmured against his ear, rolling her hips again.

Dean growled and sat back, that being the only encouragement he needed, he pushed her legs up and hooked her knees over his shoulders. His pace became more needy, he thrust in and and out so quickly and so hard that she barely had time to catch her breath. Dean never stopped talking, filthy words and promises falling off his lips as he leaned down pressing her legs as far as she could bend. She let out little high pitched cries every time his hips slammed into hers, his dick sliding almost all the way out before slamming back inside hitting her cervix in such a sweetly painful way, "Oh fuck, I need-"

Dean watched her face as she lost control, her fingers digging into his shoulders and chest. "What do you need," he asked rolling his hips. She pulled one hand away from his shoulders and dropped it down to her waiting clit, her fingers finding the overstimulated bundle of nerves and began tracing firm circles. If she could catch her breath she would've let out a scream but instead she pushed her head back into the mattress and came undone underneath Dean again with a strangled high pitched moan, her warm slick running out and coating him. His rhythm faltered and he came after a few more thrusts, his hot cum mixing with her own. He let her legs slide off his shoulders and she wrapped them lazily around his waist, keeping him inside of her and peppering his neck and face with lite kisses before sucking and biting his lower lip.

"Thank you. I needed that," River murmured against his neck.

Dean dipped his head tiredly down resting it on her shoulder, "I did too." He let out a small laugh before pulling out of her and walking to the bathroom. She stretched her legs out, enjoying the soreness in her muscles that only he could cause. He came back a moment later and gently helped wipe her off before climbing back in the bed. She curled next to him, resting her head on his chest and soon they were both fast asleep.