Ch 23

"Will you quit reading that crap?" Dean swatted at the paperback book River was currently nose deep in. She sat in the front seat, legs crisscrossed and fidgeting incessantly with the small lollipop chain around her neck. They were headed towards the office of the 'Supernatural' series publisher. Sam and River had tried finding info on Carver Edlund but had quickly hit a dead end, no last known address, no tax info, no parking tickets. They guessed Carver was a pen name and needed to find out who the man behind the curtain really was.

"I can't. How does he know all this shit, Dean?" River sat back and let out a deep breath.

"We'll find out who this guy is and get some answers." Sam replied. "Can't you call Loki and see if he'll just track this guy down?"

"No, Loki and I aren't talking at the moment. He ditched me in a mosh pit in Dusseldorf," River replied turning the page. "There is stuff in here; there is no way he knows about some of this shit. 'BizzyBodies' is in here babe. Nobody knows about that but you."

Dean pulled the book out of her hand and threw it on the floor, "That's shit between us, you and me."

"And all of Carver Edlunds freaking readers!"

"We talked about it. It doesn't bother me. We've both done lousy shit in order to survive. We'll figure out what this guy is and why he knows so much about us." Dean pulled the Impala up to a curb outside "Phoenix Publishing" and the three hunters walked towards the small brick building.

"You must be the bloggers, right? From 'Craving Carver'?" a woman with two toned hair greeted the trio of hunters in the small lobby of her office. "I'm Sandra Perkins. You're Steve and Dirk?"

Dean and Sam nodded cordially and shook her hand. She turned to River last, "And your Jane."

River smiled and shook her hand, "Wow, so you published the 'Supernatural' books."

"Yeah, gosh those books…What team are you on?"

"Dean girl, Sam curious," River answered without missing a beat.

Sandra laughed, "I knew it , Dean girls always have a certain look. I'm a Sam girl through and through. Not that I'd turn down a round with either brother if given the chance."

"I know right? I'd let Dean bang me like a screen door in a hurricane and Sam…mmm I'd scale him like Mount Kilimanjaro," River followed Sandra into her office leaving the brothers in their wake.

"Those books…they never got the attention they deserved. Everyone wants to read all that romance crap like 'Dr. Sexy, MD."

"Complete rubbish," River answered shaking her head sadly.

"Yeah, that's why we're hoping that with our article we can bring some attention to this amazing series," Sam said.

Sandra's face lit up, "Yeah, oh my gosh that would be amazing! Maybe give a bump to sales again and get some new books published."

"No. No, no, no. God, don't do that," Dean said hurriedly.

"What?" Sandra asked.

"Well, you know. The series was so complete. So perfect. Dean going to Hell and everything that happened…great ending." Dean told her.

"Oh my god! That was one of my favorite ones. Sam trying to be the strong one, promising to keep River and the twins safe. River refusing to leave Dean's side no matter the danger and Dean he was so strong and yet vulnerable. When he finally told River 'I love you' I won't lie, I cried and I knew right then that they weren't getting out alive." Sandra sniffed.

River shifted on her feet, "Well at least they went down fighting together instead of dying alone, hiding somewhere."

"You know, when Carver first started the whole Dean-River story arc, I tried to make him edit her out."

"Really? You were just gonna delete her?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, I wasn't sure how the readers would take it. Dean, the bad boy, the sex god," Sandra continued. Dean raised his eyebrows and smiled. "Spending his life traveling from town to town with his pick of beautiful women and then he meets River who's got her own truckload of personal baggage; why would he fall for someone so damaged when he knew he's going to die? "

"Maybe because they're both damaged in their own way. And I mean, they have a lot in common; they like the same movies, and books and music. The real question is why would River fall for a high school drop out with a death sentence." Dean answered.

"Probably because Dean gave River her first real orgasm in the backseat of the Impala," Sandra answered nonchalantly.

River turned bright red and covered her face with her hands, "I can't believe you just fucking told them that!" Dean's smile grew even wider and he puffed his chest out a bit with pride looking over at his younger brother. Sandra looked at her confused . "I mean…fuck I still get secondary embarrassment for her every time someone brings that up. It's not like…it's not as easy as everyone seems to think it is. She's been through a sea of shit. And then Dean sex-on-bowed-legs Winchester comes along and quotes Vonnegut and likes American thighs and is content with watching 'The Golden Girls' instead of getting a BJ …she didn't have a snowballs chance in Hell not falling in love with that."

"God, if only real men were like that," Sandra said turning towards her bookshelf and lovingly running her fingers along the spines of the 'Supernatural' books.

"Real men?" Dean asked incredulous.

"Well, I mean no offense. But Sam is so loving and unsure of himself even though he's built like a Greek god. And Dean is such a protector and a giver, especially when he's making love. He just gives and gives," Sandra said with a faraway look misting her eyes. River bit her lower lip to stop herself from laughing and glanced sideways at Dean. "And they cry. Those are the best scenes. When was the last time you cried like that?"

"Lady I'm crying on the inside right now," Dean replied. River shot him a 'Shut the fuck up' look and smiled at Sandra.

Sandra stood straighter and glared at Dean, instantly shifting from reminiscing fan to defensive mama bear. "Is that supposed to be funny? I don't want some smart ass article making fun of my boys."

"No. No, Sandra. We are legit." River said placatingly and sending another glare to Dean.

"We are big fans," Sam agreed.

"You've read the books?" Sandra asked narrowing her eyes at Dean.

"Cover to cover," he answered.

"What's the make and model of Dean's car?"

Dean smiled, "1967 Chevy Impalla."

"What's May 2nd?"

"That's my—uh I mean Sam's birthday," Sam answered.

"Dean's is January 24th and Riv's is January 1st." Dean added.

"What was Sam's score on the LSAT?" Sandra asked raising her eyebrows. River and Dean looked at each other then over to Sam. Sam scrunched up his forehead trying to remember.

"1…74?" That was apparently the right answer because Sandra smiled.

"Ok. Deans favorite song?"

"It's a tie between Zep's 'Ramble On' and 'Traveling Riverside Blues'," Dean answered.

"Who taught River how to hunt?"

"Sakura Yamamoto. Suki came into the ER where River was training and needed to be patched up after a tussle with a werewolf in Griffith park."

"Where did River work to pay for nursing school?"

River let out a deep breath and shook her head. " BizzyBodies strip club," she mumbled. Sam's eyes widened and he looked at Dean who wore an even bigger shit eating grin. River kept her eyes on Sandra but he could see the flushed pink color rising in her cheeks.

"What was her stage name and her top two songs?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" River swore. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and crossed her arms, "Angelfuck was my- I mean her name; took it from a Misfits song. And umm the songs were AC/DC 'You Shook Me All Night Long' and 'Am I demon' by Danzig."

"God thats fucking hot," Dean said.

"Shut up," River muttered at him.

"Well, ok. Wow. What do you want to know?" Sandra gave them a bright smile and leaned back in her desk chair.

"Carver Edlunds real name." River answered flatly.

"Oh, no. I can't let you talk to Carver. He's very private, like Salinger." Sandra said.

"We just want to talk to Carver. How did he come up with the characters and the storylines? These characters that resonate so closely with people like us and so many others." Sam piped up. Sandra shook her head, her mouth now in a tight line. Sam looked at the other two, tilting his head. He started unbuttoning his shirt at the collar. River rolled her eyes and let out a deep annoyed breath. "Like I said we are big fans." He pulled his shirt down and showed Sandra his anti-possession tattoo. Sandra's smile returned and she looked to Dean and River. Dean yanked down on his shirt and showed his tattoo. River turned around and pulled her jacket off and her hair out of her way, Sandra stood up and checked Rivers ink at the base of her neck.

"Awesome. I've got one too," Sandra said shyly. River turned back around in time to see Sandra bend over and pull her skirt up. She had the anti-possession tattoo on her left ass cheek.

"Awesome," Dean told her. River rolled her eyes.

"Look, I don't normally do this but I can tell you guys are really, truly big fans. His name is Chuck Shurley and here's his address." She quickly scribbled on a piece of scratch paper and handed it to River. The three hunters left in a hurry when Sandra wanted to start discussing to role sex played in the series.

"You were a stripper?" Sam asked as soon as they climbed back into the Impala.

"Not a very good one. But yeah it was before I gained 30 pounds and started collecting physical scars to go with my emotional ones." The blush returned to River's face, "I was a few months from eighteen and I had to do something I'm not going to discuss with you to get the job…my Aunt Sue was dead and she left me with nothing but a stack of unopened foreclosure notices. So I needed money and I needed it fast or I was gonna be homeless and lose my spot in the nursing program."

"I'm not judging. I'm just wondering why Dean hasn't married you yet." Sam said smiling and turning around to face his brother. Dean started the car without answering and they headed towards Chuck Shurley's address.

Across town a man walked around his cluttered home, wearing yesterdays boxers, a holey shirt and a tattered bathrobe. An older laser printer spat out page after page of a manuscript onto a desk strewn with comics and half eaten pizza slices. The man picked up the first page and began reading to himself, "The hunters approached the ramshackle house with trepidation. Did they really want to learn the secrets that lay beyond that door?" He nodded and smiled.

Dean swung the Impala up to the curb a few houses down from Shurley's. He and Sam turned in their seat to face River, she sat in the back seat and was adjusting her hair and makeup. She had changed into her tightest, most cleavage bearing Metallica shirt. "Just get him to let you inside and make sure he keeps the door unlocked," Dean told her as she scooted towards her door.

"I know. We've been over this a thousand fucking times," She opened the door and stepped out. Sam grabbed her wrist through his open window and she turned to face him.

"Your gun?" he held out his big hand towards her. Dean leaned forward over the steering wheel eyebrows raised.

"I'm not gonna shoot him," she huffed. The brothers gave her the Winchester death glare and she pulled her pistol from the back of her jeans and handed it to Sam. "I was just gonna wing him. A little flesh wound wouldn't kill him." She turned and walked across the street towards Chucks dingy little house, the yard overgrown with dead grass and knee high weeds, a rust covered car sat forlornly in the small driveway. She walked up the creaky steps avoiding a large hole in the porch floor and rang the doorbell.

"Sam and Dean sat in the car, watching as the fierce red head climbed the rickety steps. She glanced once behind her and met Dean's green eyes. River pushed the doorbell with forceful determination," the man re-read the last few lines and made a few grammatical changes with his red pencil. The doorbell rang loudly in his otherwise silent house and he set the pile of paper back on his desk.

River shifted on her feet, tucking her hands into the back pockets of her jeans and saw movement behind the frosted glass of the front door. The door opened a moment later and a man of about average height, or short by Winchester standards, appeared in the opening squinting at the bright sunlight.

"Hi! Are you Chuck Shurley?" River asked brightly. "The Chuck Shurley that wrote the 'Supernatural' books?"

"Maybe. Why?"

"Well, I'm a huge fan," River pulled out a paperback book from her pocket. "And if you were Chuck Shirley I would love the chance to get your autograph." From their vantage point across the street Dean and Sam could see Chuck smile and open his door wider allowing River entrance to his home. They climbed out of the car a moment later.

"It's great to hear from fans, umm just gimme a minute to clean up a bit and I'll get you a drink," Chuck left River standing in his entryway and hurried back to his sitting room where she could hear him shuffling around frantically. She turned back towards the door and opened it letting Sam and Dean in.

"What the hell is this?" Chuck came back around the corner and stopped, staring at the three hunters. "Who are you?"

"I'm Sam, this is Dean and River," Sam pointed at each of them. "You've been writing about us."

Chuck laughed, "Ok guys. Look, I got no problem giving you my autograph but I highly suggest you get a life."

"Oh we have a life and you've been using it to write your books," Dean said taking a step towards the man. River held her hand out and Sam handed her gun back, she immediately pulled the slide to make sure it was loaded.

"Ok, wait. What the hell is this? This isn't funny anymore!" Chuck yelled, backing up hands raised.

"No its not fucking funny, " River stepped towards, "All we want to know is how you are doing it."

"Doing what?" he yelled again. "I'm not doing anything!"

"Are you a hunter?" Dean yelled back walking towards Chuck.

Chuck shuffled backwards. "NO! I'm a writer."

"Then how do you know so much about demons? And shifters ? And Tulpas?" Sam asked calmly. Chucks knees hit the side of his couch and he toppled down onto it.

"Oh god. This is a 'Misery' thing isn't it?" Chuck cried.

"Oh, baby I can go Kathy Bates on your cockadoodie ass in two seconds if you don't start talking," River smiled down at him.

"I don't know what you want!"

"We want answers. I'm Sam, this is my brother Dean and she's River," Sam replied, ever the peace maker.

"I made them up they aren't real! They are just characters in my books."

The hunters exchanged a look, River held out her hand to Chuck and pulled him off the couch. "Come on." Dean and Sam led them back to the waiting Impala.

"Wow you guys go all out," Chuck laughed nervously staring at Baby.

River walked to the trunk placed her hands on it and said, "Oscail." She looked pointedly at Chuck as it popped open and Dean leaned into it to prop it up with his shotgun. She beckoned for Chuck and he warily looked into the trunk.

"Neat trick. You've definitely read the books," Chuck smiled. "Are those real guns?"

"Yep," Dean answered. "And real silver bullets and real holy water and real fake ID's and real rock salt shotgun shells. And thats a pair of River's real underwear." He pulled out a small piece of lacy black fabric and tucked it into his back pocket.

"Well, you three are definitely my number one fans," he slowly backed away from them. "I think I've got some posters in the house."

River grabbed his bathrobe before he could run back into the house. "Please don't hurt me."

"Fuck, dude. We aren't going to hurt you. We just want to know how much you know." River said gently.

"Do you know about the angels? Or Lilith breaking the seals?" Sam asked.

Chuck gave them a surprised look, "How do you-how do you know about that? I just started writing about that stuff."

"Because I'm Dean Winchester and this is my brother Sam and my girlfriend River McGregor."

Chuck swallowed audibly, "How did you…Their last names aren't in the books. I never told anyone. I never even wrote them down."

River crossed her arms over her chest, "You want to get me that drink now?" River grabbed him gently by the elbow and led him back into the house.

He stumbled over the threshold and hurried to his dirty kitchen where he grabbed the nearest bottle of liquor and took a few healthy swigs. River rubbed the bridge of her nose and shot Dean another annoyed look. Chuck spun around to face them, "You're still here."

"Yeah we're still here," Dean sighed.

"Well, then there's only one answer," Chuck said, "Obviously I'm God."

River laughed, "I've met gods Chuck. You are not a god."

"Oh yeah? How do you explain it?" Chuck sputtered. "I write things and they come true. I'm God."

"Nope. You're not." Dean answered, checking the numerous half empty bottles of alcohol that were littered on every available surface of Chucks workspace.

"I am. I am a cruel, capricious god," Chuck muttered. "I'm so sorry. The things I've done to you three…the physical beatings alone."

Sam gripped a chair and stared at the man, "We're all in one piece give or take."

"No…I mean I burned your mother alive and murdered your father. I made you,Sam, go through it all again with Jess. And you," Chuck looked at River.

"Don't," she warned him.

"Jesus. You're family, I ripped them apart. And….that shapeshifter. That was… I had nightmares for weeks after writing about that."

"You had nightmares? I lived it." River said dangerously low.

"Then you two finding love and acceptance and creating something that was entirely your own. Those two, innocent babies representing so much; hope, life and a future. But then I snatched it from you so horrifically. I tore you apart Dean and River, I'm so so sorry. And what did I do it for? Literary symmetry? If I had known it would come true I never would have written it."

A beer bottle shattered against the wall behind Chucks head causing him to stop his soliloquy. "I am not a fucking plot device," River yelled, grabbing another beer bottle. "This is our lives. They were our lives before you started writing, you didn't create us! You didn't make any of those things happen. You are just some schlub with some sort of psychic powers!"

"River," Dean put a hand on her arm and took the bottle away from her. "Go take a walk."

She took a shaky breath, "He's not God, he's a fucking hack." River turned and walked out into the main hallway.

"What does she mean psychic? I'm not psychic."

Sam took a deep breath, "Look man, it's the only thing that makes sense. And for some reason you're just focused in on our life."

"Hyper-focused," Dean added.

"If I were psychic why would I write? Writing is hard," Chuck said flopping into the chair in front of his computer. River returned a moment later and sat down silently across from him.

"You been writing anything lately, Chuck?" she asked.

Chuck grimaced, "Yeah actually…It's just weird. Very Vonnegut."

" 'Cat's cradle' or 'Slaughter-house Five' Vonnegut ?" Dean asked River smiled at him and muttered "Nerd."

"It's 'Kilgores Trout' Vonnegut. I wrote myself into, wrote about me being at my house and being confronted by my characters," Chuck picked up the pile of freshly printed manuscript pages and handed them to Dean.