Ch 28

The lake was beautiful. Dean had followed the winding two lane highway for almost an hour up the mountain and was rewarded with perfect weather and an empty beach. He sat on the weather worn deck in his favorite fishing chair, fishing rod grasped loosely in one hand and a beer in the other. He looked down and watched as River walked quietly along the shoreline, her two piece bathing suit hugging every curve just right leaving little to his imagination. The fishing line twitched and he sat forward setting his beer down. "Hello, Dean." Castiel's gravelly voice shattered the stillness of the lake.

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked looking over his shoulder at the angel. The clouds shifted and the sky suddenly darkened. "I'm dreaming aren't I?"

Castiel nodded, "It's not safe here. Someone could be listening." The angel looked tired, his eyes worried and darting around the serene landscape.

"You're in my head, Cas."

"Exactly. I need you to meet me somewhere more private," Castiel handed Dean a piece of paper. Dean read the address, committing it to memory.

"Hey man, where the hell have you been? River and me have been trying to reach you. Have you been reading the news lately because it seems like shit is hitting the fan all over the world."

"Go. Now. We need to talk in person."

Dean's eyes shot open. He was in bed next to River, his arms and legs tangled over her, his face pressed into her warm neck where she always smelled faintly like oranges and vanilla. His eyes swept over the room, Sam's giant body lay sprawled haphazardly on the bed next to them. They'd only stopped at this motel because the weather had been a nightmare, rain falling so heavily Dean had almost spun out twice on the dark highway after the latest salt and burn.

They had been bickering incessantly for weeks; living out of the Impala and rushing between cases Bobby had been sending them on. They were strapped for cash and hadn't had time to even hustle pool. The lack of funds and seemingly never-ending parade of ghouls, ghosts and demons that needed to be put down had also meant he and River hadn't had any time alone. Their conversations were clipped, each annoyed at the other from some reason or another. They couldn't afford two rooms and food so they were stuck together again in this tiny, dumpy motel room for the night.

Dean groggily remembered earlier in the night when he had tried to get River alone in the bathroom for a quickie and Sam had finally lost it. He yelled at both of them for being so 'fucking inconsiderate and open about their sexual escapades'. The hunters had gotten used to having little to no privacy; the three seeing each other half naked on a pretty frequent basis due to wounds or injuries post hunts; fucking in the bathroom with Sam on the other side of the door seemed like a totally normal occurrence. River's face had turned bright red as she mumbled apologies like an admonished teenager. She had showered quickly and jumped under the thin blanket of the bed she shared with Dean, giving him a chaste kiss and falling asleep within a few minutes. Dean shifted in the bed, closed his eyes and pulled River impossibly closer to him groaning in frustration at his cock-blocking prissy ass baby brother. What god would he have to make a blood sacrifice to for a fucking vacation? "Maybe go fishing up at that lake in Montana…" he thought to himself, drifting back to sleep. "Shit! " he sprang up in bed causing River to wake next to him, she had her gun in hand and was half way out of the bed before he hooked his arm back around her waist.

"What the hell?" she muttered tiredly glaring back at him. Sam snored loudly next to them oblivious to Dean's outburst.

"I saw Cas in my dream. He wants to meet somewhere…" Dean told her quickly typing the address Cas had given him into his phone.

"Where the hell has he been? He hasn't answered your prayers. He won't come for my summonings. He's left us high and dry for weeks. Stupid angelic douche," she yawned loudly and stretched. The rainstorm had let up while they slept and the hunters were able to get back on the road as soon as they dressed.

The trio arrived at an old meat packing plant a few hours later. The long cold hallways covered in a layer of dust and grime. Strangely, lights still flickered here and there and a faint smell of ozone hung in the air. "You saw Cas in a dream? What did he want?" Sam asked as they crept down another dank passageway. They had all seen and lived enough horror stories to know poking around a building like this almost always ended in being chased by a psycho with a chainsaw.

"If I knew what he wanted would we be Scooby-Doo-ing our way through this shit hole?" Dean retorted. River walked a few paces ahead of them, quickly scanning each room for signs of the Angel.

"Where the hell is he?" she hissed after finding another empty room.

"He's here or will be soon. Relax." Dean muttered.

"Relax? Cas has been MIA for almost three weeks. Nada, zilch from any other winged asshole and now he comes to you in a dream and says your fucking head isn't safe enough to talk," she started, "He's in trouble, Dean."

"I know that."

"He's our friend, or as close to a friend that we get. And being friends with the three of us never fucking ends well…" she stormed off, the familiar cold sweat and palpitating sensations in her chest signaling she was about two minutes from a panic attack. River, Dean and Sam reached a dead end with no way to go but up a flight of rickety metallic stairs. The trio ascended into a war zone. Light fixtures hung as if torn from the ceiling, metal scaffolding lay in twisted heaps, chunks of plaster and cement were thrown scattered around the open room. They glanced worriedly around as they trekked further into the smoking wreckage.

"It looks like a bomb went off," Sam muttered.

River swept her flashlight between pieces of crushed machinery as Dean followed behind her with his own light. "There was a fight here," he said quietly.

"Yeah but between who?" River asked stepping carefully under what used to be another staircase. Her flashlight arced high up on the cement wall and illuminated some sort of graffiti. "D, Sam check this out." She stood in front of the cement wall and waited for the brothers to join her. "Look familiar?" High up on the wall, written in blood was a banishing sigil.

"Yeah, it looks like the one Ana used to send the Angels back to the Outfield," Dean said.

Rivers jaw tightened at the mention of the other angel and she turned away from the wall, "What if he was ambushed waiting for us?" She swung her flashlight in front of her and saw a pair of dark loafers sticking out from under a pile of debris. She hurried forward and saw the man attached to the sensible shoes. "Cas? Castiel! Guys over here!" River yelled over her shoulder as she leaned down over the Angel and tried shaking him awake. "Cas!" The brothers joined her just as the Angel stirred awake. He pulled out of River's grip and struggled to stand up.

"What's going on?" he mumbled half to himself.

Dean and Sam each grabbed an arm and helped Castiel stand. "Hey man, relax. It's all good." Dean told him trying to straighten his tie and jacket. Castiel wrenched himself away from the Winchesters and took a wide step back.

"Get the hell away from me!" he yelled stumbling on a loose floor board and almost falling again.

"Castiel are you ok?" River asked. "Where the hell are your wings?"

Cas ran his hands through his hair and down the sides of his face in a very Dean like gesture. "Castiel? I'm not Castiel…"

"What?" Dean asked taking a step closer.

"It's me," the other man said turning back towards the hunters.

"Me who?" Sam asked.

"Jimmy. My name is Jimmy," the man said smiling slightly.

"Where the hell is Cas?" River demanded staring at the stranger.

"I don't know," the mans voice was noticeably softer than Castiel's deep rumble. The Angel always sounded to River as if his true voice was constantly fighting with the constraints of his human vessel. "He's gone."

"We are so screwed," River muttered angrily.

"Do you know who we are?" Dean asked the man.

"I…know that I know you somehow."

"We're friends of Cas. I'm Dean, this is my brother Sam and my girlfriend River."

"Lets get the hell outta here. Come on, Jimmy." She hooked her arm around Jimmy's and led him through the wreckage. Jimmy followed her and the Winchesters out of the abandoned plant and back to the waiting Impala. The drive had been mostly silent and very awkward. Jimmy breaking the silence only to request they stop and get him something to eat. Dean agreed they all needed to eat and found a 24 hour drive through while Sam checked for local motels. River sat quietly in the backseat staring at Jimmy who was so human it hurt. The trench coated angel had been annoying, clueless and at times heartless but he was still their ally. They owed him a debt they had not come close to repaying and probably never would; Castiel having risked everything to rescue Dean from Hell, healing him against orders after Alastair's brutal attack, and healing her after the fiasco with Adhira. Jimmy glanced nervously at River and she looked into his cobalt eyes now devoid of the faint light that was always there when she looked at Cas. She let out a long frustrated breath and met Dean's eyes in the rear view mirror before turning her attention to the dark highway they barreled down.

"Would you slow down. You're gonna give me angina," Dean said disgustedly as Jimmy took another ravenous bite of his second bacon double cheeseburger.

"Mmm-sorry I'm starving," Jimmy told him slurping loudly from his huge styrofoam cup of soda.

"When was the last time you ate?" Sam asked him laughing at his brothers reaction.

"I don't know…months?"

"Cas had half a chili dog and some onion rings when we were in LA," River mumbled stabbing a french fry into the congealed lump of ketchup in front of her. "We were gonna go to Disneyland, ride Dumbo, get pineapple soft serve but…you know demons. You remember any of that Jimmy?"

"Nope. I really don't remember much of anything. I could see flashes occasionally but it feels like I've been stuck in some trippy dream. Having an angel inside you is like being chained to a comet," he took another bite of cheeseburger and he reached over to River's french fries grabbing a handful, "These are great." She wordlessly slid the rest of her uneaten meal towards him and leaned back heavily in her chair.

"Jimmy, Cas said he needed to tell us something. Do you remember what that might be?" Sam asked delicately.

Jimmy let out a long breath and wiped the grease off his lips, "No. I'm sorry. There was a flash of light and then you guys."

"Come on, man. What else do you know?" Dean said shaking his head.

Jimmy took another thoughtful bite of food, "I know that I am Jimmy Novak from Pontiac, Illinois and I have a family." Jimmy told them about his wife and his young daughter, Claire. That he had been devout in his faith to God and remembered the first night Castiel tried to contact him. "My wife found me on the floor the next morning. I must've had some sort of fit…his voice was so loud in my head."

"You heard his true voice?" River asked sitting forward.

"Yes but not-not at first. At first it was like this loud buzzing. I thought my teeth were going to shatter," another bite of food, another slurp of soda, "You asked about my- Castiel's wings. Did I have wings?" He asked glancing back at his shoulders.

"Kind of? I don't know how to explain it…they were there and not there…like a shadow behind Cas and the other Angels. Only certain people can see them, kind of like you hearing Cas's true voice."

"Do you mind if I take a shower? I can't remember the last time I had a shower and I'm sick to death of this suit." Jimmy asked, brushing crumbs off his blue tie.

"Yeah, go for it man. You can probably fit my stuff better than Sam's," Dean told him. He led Jimmy to his duffle bag and dug around for a moment before handing him a stack of clothing. Jimmy thanked Dean and then locked himself in the small bathroom and started the shower. River picked up Castiel's trench coat and carefully folded it before stashing it in her own duffle bag.

"What the hell do we do now?" she asked the brothers.

"What do you mean what do we do?" Dean asked. "You heard him he has a family. We get the guy a bus ticket back to Pontiac."

"Dean, I don't think thats a good idea. This guy is the only lead we have on what Cas needed to tell us and that war zone we walked into." Sam told him quietly.

"River, whats your say?" Dean said turning towards her.

"I agree with Sam," she started. Dean rolled his eyes and muttered something before sitting heavily on one of the double beds. "We need to find out what he knows. I say we take him back to Bobby's and figure something out."

"You heard him, he doesn't remember anything. You think he's lying?" Dean asked the other two.

"No, not necessarily. Maybe he just needs a push like hypnosis or a psychic like we did…before." River chewed her lip, feeling stupid for not being able to say Ana's name. Saying her name made it all real again. One of the only reasons she could stomach sitting and sleeping in the backseat of the Impala was trying her damnedest to pretend like Ana didn't exist. She'd never met or seen the other two women Dean fucked behind her back so they were pretty easy to ignore. But Ana she knew, Ana she had liked, had wanted to help and just thinking about what Dean and Ana did made acid boil in her stomach. She turned her head towards the bathroom door, the shower had stopped and they could hear Jimmy whistling to himself. "Maybe Cas'll just come back."

"Dean, we need to get him somewhere safe. If we want to know what he knows then you know damn well the demons will want to know too," Sam continued. "This is big. That was Angel on Angel violence back there and we can't not afford to lose our only lead."

Dean sighed heavily, "You remember when our job was to help people get back to their families not hide them in Bobby's panic room?" The bathroom door opened and Jimmy came out wearing one of Dean's grey Henley's and jeans, he had cuffed the jeans so they didn't drag on the floor and smiled shyly at the three hunters.

"Feel better?" River asked him.

"Yes, thank you and thank you ,Dean, for the clothes," he sat unsurely on the foot of the bed next to River. "I'd like to go home. My family-they deserve to know where I've been." River tilted her head and looked into his blue eyes before meeting Dean's.

"No, Jimmy. That's not a good idea right now." She told him firmly.

"What? What the hell do you mean?" Jimmy stood back up agitated running his hands through his messy hair.

"Look, man. Calm down. We just- we think you probably have a bullseye on your back." Dean said trying to placate him.

"That's ridiculous! Who would be after me?"

Dean glanced over his shoulder at his younger brother and back to Jimmy, "Demons."

Jimmy shook his head and laughed. His laughter abruptly stopped as he noticed the tight faces of the three strangers staring back at him. "Demons? Come on! I've been shot, stabbed, healed and drug all over Earth for months. I'm done. I'm free and I want out. I want to go back to my family!"

"We want to take you back to your family. We do. But if we are right and something bad comes after you, it's gonna come after your family too. So right now the safest place for you is with us."

He flapped his arms at his sides annoyed and let out a deep breath, "How long?"

"As long as it takes to make sure you and your family will be safe," River told him. She crossed her arms over her chest and tried to keep her voice calm and even.

"No, I'm outta here. I'm going to see my wife and daughter," Jimmy brushed passed River and headed towards the door.

Sam lithely moved his huge frame to block the door and shook his head, "No, you're not. You're only going to put them in danger."

"So what I'm a prisoner now?"

"Think of it more as an…" River smiled and shrugged her shoulders, "extended sleep over." Jimmy cursed under his breath and flopped back down on the bed insolently. She rolled her eyes and wondered if Cas had started to pick up some of Jimmy's attitude.

"Well, now that that's settled. I'm goin' on a beer run," Dean exclaimed. River glared at him and pursed her lips. "What?" She shrugged her shoulders again and sat on the bed opposite Jimmy and turned on the TV.

As Dean was pulling on his jacket her phone rang, "Hey Levi! How are you?…Zombies in Hanover? Holy shit dude are you ok?….Yeah. Are they still eating brains or did you put 'em all down…Of course you did…you think it was a seal? Yeah me too." She waived at Dean as he headed out the door. The call ended a few minutes later and she noticed Jimmy and Sam staring at her. "You ok, Jimmy?"

"Did you say zombies? Like actual zombies…"

"Yeah. That's what my buddy Levi's reporting. It was a seal, Sam, he's almost positive. Another one bites the dust." She fiddled with the charm around her neck and sent a quick text message to Gabriel. He responded almost instantly and she muttered, "Ass hat" before setting her phone down on the nightstand and turning on the ancient television across the room.

"I'm gonna get a Coke. You two want anything?" Sam asked after a few minutes of disinterested channel surfing. Jimmy and River shook their heads. "I'll be right back." Sam left the room, barely containing the shakiness he felt in his bones. He was jonesing bad, sweating like a junky too long since his last fix. It had been nearly impossible to meet with Ruby in the last few weeks and he needed her blood bad. Luckily they had planned for these sorts of occasions and Ruby had given him a flask of her blood to get him through the dry patches. He barely made it behind the cover of the vending machines before pulling the flask out of his inner jacket pocket. His hands shook so bad he was afraid he would spill the little blood he had left. He also knew he was so desperate right now he'd probably lick it off the cement if he had to. He carefully poured a few drops into his palm not trusting himself to drink straight out of the flask and lapped it up greedily. The tingling sensation that rushed through his nerve endings was better than any orgasm.

River glanced at the clock on the nightstand. Dean had been gone almost thirty minutes. She picked up her phone and considered calling him but set it back down; familiar insecurities and anxiety gnawing at her. "I have to pee," she announced getting off the bed and heading for the bathroom.

"Thanks for the update," Jimmy replied dryly behind her.

She locked herself in the bathroom and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked exhausted, hell when did she not look exhausted anymore? Her little supply of antidepressants had run out and the refills had been denied. The cloud of murky thoughts and anxiety had been kept mostly at bay by the sheer amount of hunting she and the Winchesters had been doing the last few weeks. Her eyes had dark circles under them, freckles standing out in stark contrast to the rest of her pale skin. "Would it kill you to put some fucking makeup on?" she muttered to herself. Most days she was too tired and didn't see the point of makeup, unless she was pretending to be a Fed or something else that required dressing up. Monsters didn't care if you were wearing makeup and nothing was more annoying then trying to dig up a grave and having drops of makeup laced sweat drip into her eyes. Dean had told her he preferred her without makeup on several occasions but she always rolled her eyes at him when he said shit like that. She turned away from the mirror to use the toilet like she had intended and heard a noise outside the door. The faint sound of something being dragged across the shag carpet then being shoved up against the door. River jumped back off the toilet pulling her jeans up with one hand and lunged for the door. The handle wouldn't turn, someone namely Jimmy fucking Novak had shoved something under the handle on the other side of the door and trapped her inside the bathroom. "Jimmy! Jimmy! What the fuck?" she pounded on the door and tried shouldering it open to no avail. The stupid door wouldn't budge.

"I'm sorry. Really I am. I know you guys are trying to help me but…you're all crazy. And I miss my family," Jimmy's soft, gentle voice called from the other side of the door.

"God damn it!" she cursed mostly at herself. Her hands immediately went to her pockets where her phone would have been if she hadn't left it sitting on the nightstand. "You fucking idiot, River!" She punched the door again for good measure and turned towards the tiny window above the toilet. It opened by turning a rusty old crank and even then only gave a few inches. The window itself was far too small for her to try and squeeze through even if she broke the glass out so she balanced herself on the toilet and tried yelling for Sam. She lost her balance, cracked her elbow painfully on the sink and cursed at herself again. She stretched out on the tile floor, leaning her back against the cool tile of the tub and waited for one of the Wonder boys to return.

River had just started to doze off when she heard the door to the motel room open and someone shuffle inside. "Sammy? River?… Jimmy?" Dean's worried voice echoed from inside the room. She hauled herself to her feet and yelled for Dean. "Hey, I'm here baby!" he called out as he shoved the dresser away from the door. He opened the door a moment later and the familiar pungent smokey scent of whiskey wafted off Dean. He wasn't piss drunk but he was close.

River's hands balled into fists at her sides and she took a deep, shaky breath. "Where the hell were you!" she screamed in his face pushing him out of the doorway and back into the room. "I've been stuck in there for hours! A beer run! Really?"

"Where's Jimmy?" he asked quietly holding his hands up in surrender.

"How the fuck should I know? Sam went to the vending machines, apparently they're on the fucking moon because he isn't back either and I had to pee! Jimmy must've shoved that fucking dresser in front of the door," she wheeled towards the door as Sam walked in and made a noise in the back of her throat that sounded like a pissed off wild cat. "Where the fuck where you?" She yelled at the 6'5'' man trying his damnedest to remain unseen.

"I just..uh…" he said lamely.

The red head flipped him off and turned back towards Dean, all previous feelings of anxiety now ignited into anger. "Where the fuck were you?" she demanded again pulling on the collar of his flannel shirt, checking his neck and shoulders. "A beer run? Where'd you go, huh? A bar. A bar with out me?" she moved her hands to his jacket pockets and started searching them.

"What the hell, River? What are you doing?" Dean said pulling himself away from her.

"You know exactly what I'm doing. I swear to Freya if you fucked around on me again I am gone Dean Winchester! You will never see me again!" she yelled in his face.

"Whoa, whoa calm down, sweetheart," Dean put his hands gently on her shoulders. "Look, I went out to a bar. I drank alone. I swear it. I shouldn't've gone."

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down. You two assholes left me here!" she retorted angrily.

"You wanna talk about leaving people? How about you disappearing from the fucking truck stop in Elkhart last week? You were MIA for three fucking days! Did I give you a load of shit when Loki dropped your ass in the backseat?"

"Yeah you did as I recall."

"Well maybe I should ask what the hell you're doing with that Trickster fuck while your gone. I'm just supposed to believe you two are 'friends'? I bet you fuck him six ways from Sunday as soon as he picks your ass up." River hadn't decided she was going to actually punch him until she felt her knuckles collide with his jaw. He staggered a half step back and turned his dangerous jade eyes on her.

"Don't you dare put your guilty fucking conscience on me, Winchester. I have NEVER fucked around on you. Even when you were dead," she spat back. "He's my best friend. I owe him and it's not like I can fucking say no; I piss him off and he'll send me to the 'Land of the Lost' again! Do you have any idea how terrifying it is to have to fight off a group of pissed off Sleestaks with nothing but a pointy stick?" River took a slow breath, running her fingers through her hair. "But I always, I always come back to you! Things get rough and you fucking disappear."

"I'm not the one disappearing!" he yelled back.

"That's not what I fucking mean and you know it! Every since Adam…you're drinking more, you're hardly talking to us except to bark orders and now this? You run off to a bar and you're gone for hours!"

Dean took a deep breath, quickly loosing the pleasant buzz he had picked up at the bar. "Just trust me, please. I sat at the bar and drank alone. I lost track of time."

"I'm trying to trust you but you make it really fucking hard," River said sadly.

"So do you, Princess." Dean replied. Just like that the argument fizzled out, River and Dean deflating as the fight left them. Sam still stood unsure and quiet near the door his eyes roamed over the room and noticed for the first time Jimmy was gone.

"Guys, where is Jimmy?" he asked worriedly.

*Authors note: So yeah River and Dean obviously don't have the healthiest relationship. Trust is an issue, mental health is an issue and alcoholism is an issue. This isn't glorifying any of those problems. If you or someone you know or love has issues then reach out and seek help.