Chapter 4: We Can't

When she inhaled, she recognized the cologne he always wore. Robin closed her eyes, remembering the good times and the promises made. It felt like coming home. But then all the bad memories flooded in and washed away the happy, pleasant ones. All that remained now were the broken feelings, the pain, and the emptiness. Robin's chest tightened and it hurt to breathe in Chrom's arms.

"Chrom, let me go," Robin asked quietly. She wormed her way out of his embrace. "We can't do this." She didn't bother looking up at him. She merely stared down at the mess she had made. Silently, she squatted down and began to collect all her belongings from the floor.

"Let me help." Chrom got down on the floor with Robin and picked up her shoes, while Robin shoved the spilled contents of her bag back into the bag.

"It's fine, just leave it," said Robin. She stood up and shouldered the bag after tucking in the skirt that was slipping out again. She grabbed her heels from Chrom.

The two stood in the middle of the fifth floor with a suffocating silence between them. The only thing between her bare feet and the dirty floor was the thin layer of her nylon stockings. The grittiness under her feet bothered her. Robin shifted on her feet. Chrom shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Who let you in?" asked Robin, looking at the space on the ground between them.

"Gregor did. He still remembers me." Chrom chuckled awkwardly. "I didn't think you'd still be here actually. I thought you would've moved in the last couple years. You always complained about all the stairs."

"Well, I guess it's time I move," said Robin.

She would have to talk to her landlord about letting Chrom into the building. Gregor probably thought they were getting back together or something. Gregor always did have a soft spot for Chrom. He was also the one responsible for letting Chrom into the apartment to sit outside her apartment door begging for her forgiveness whenever he upset her.

"Are you coming back from somewhere?" Chrom asked. His eyes wandered over her uncharacteristic outfit.

"Yeah," said Robin. She wasn't going to provide more detail than necessary.

Robin tugged at the sleeves of the sweater. The sweater reminded her of who she was with now. She was happy with Frederick. But a haunting thought tugged at the back of her mind—maybe she didn't wait long enough for Chrom. Immediately, she mentally chastised herself for such a thought and guided her attention back to reality. Robin stared at Chrom, who showed no intention of leaving.

She contemplated whether inviting him into her house or telling him to buzz off. The latter option eventually led to inviting him into her house anyway because he'd most likely sit outside her door until she came out again.

"How long have you been waiting for?" asked Robin.

"Mmm…" Chrom took out his phone to check the time despite the watch on his wrist. He was still the same as ever. Back when they used to be together, Robin often asked why he wore a watch if he rarely used it and he would simply laugh and say that he did use it. "About twenty-five minutes?"

Robin frowned. "What were you going to do if I never showed up?"

"Probably catch up with Gregor. And Panne, after she got home from work," said Chrom. "Or wait until Gregor gave me a call once you came home. I gave him my business card, so yeah. I had a plan."

Robin sighed. "Chrom, you can't just do that to people."

"Gregor likes me. He invited me to lunch today. I think Panne finds me a bit irritating, but she's actually pretty cool once you get to know her," said Chrom. "Pretty sure they know me better than they know you."

"That's nothing to be proud of," said Robin flatly. "You don't even live here."

"I'm networking," said Chrom with a toothy grin. He always added a positive spin to everything, unlike Robin. She was realistic.

"No. You're not. You're being an annoyance. Has it crossed your mind that I might find you doing this really bothersome?" asked Robin.

"Yes, it crossed my mind," said Chrom, nodding. "But you used to say it was kinda endearing."

Robin rubbed her temples. "Chrom…people change."

"I know, Robin." Chrom took a hold of her hand. "I know."

"Don't," snapped Robin, quickly drawing her hand back like his touch burned her.

"Sorry." Chrom's shoulders dropped.

Robin was surprised by her own outburst. She realized that she was hurting him with her hostility. Her heart sank a little from the guilt, but she didn't say anything to alleviate the situation.

"You're right. People do change. You've probably changed in the last couple years. I know that I've changed in the last couple years," said Chrom. "But I want to see if we could work again, as two different people trying to start something new."

"Will you go away if I ask you to go away?" asked Robin, crossing her arms.

He laughed boyishly and dropped his gaze to hide his sheepish blush. It almost melted her heart. Almost. Maybe she did miss him. Chrom offered her a wide grin. "Has that ever worked?"

"No," said Robin, her lips pulling into a thin line.

"Well, then, there you have your answer," he said.

Robin wanted to throw herself down the stairs. But instead, like a normal, rational person, she walked past him and fitted her house key into the lock. She jiggled the key in a specific angle before turning the key.

"Your lock's still the same." Chrom waited behind her. "Didn't you ask Gregor to fix it yet?"

"I haven't talked to him about it yet," said Robin. The lock finally clicked and she opened the door.

"It's been years now, Robin," said Chrom.

Robin tossed her shoes aside on the floor. "Close the door behind you."

Chrom did as he was asked to and shut the door after entering Robin's home. He slipped off his shoes and wandered into her apartment.

"I'm going to change to go change," Robin called out.

"Okay," replied Chrom and entered her living room. Her home was still as colourful as he remembered. All the furniture were different vibrant colours. On the walls hung quirky paintings and art pieces Robin had gotten as gifts and bought at her underclassmen's art exhibitions.

"If you want anything, help yourself!" yelled Robin from her room. "You know where everything is!"

"Okay, thanks!" he hollered back. He decided to sit down in her comfy couch. He sank into his seat—the side close to the armchair. A smile spread on his face. It had been a while since he last sat in the comfy couch. There were a lot of fond, intimate memories on the couch.

Chrom was lying on the couch, and on top of him, he was holding Robin. He tugged the blanket to cover her shoulders. "Feeling better?" Chrom asked while he stroked her hair.

"No." Robin shook her head against his chest.

Chrom kissed the crown of her head. "How about now?"

She picked up her head to look at him. "You missed."

"I missed?" Chrom asked in amusement.

"Mmhmm." Robin nodded and shifted in his arms. She brought up a finger and tapped her lips. "You missed." She finally smiled for him.

"Well, then. I better try again," he said. Chrom placed a hand under her chin and brought her face closer to his.

"Yeah." She leaned in, her eyes closing.

Chrom caressed her cheek and pressed his lips against hers. She parted her lips, granting him permission to enter. He slipped his tongue into her mouth. She reciprocated sweetly. Eventually, she pulled away and pressed her face into the side of his face. He felt her eyelashes fluttering against his cheek.

"Feel better now?" he asked, hugging her tighter.

"Yeah."

"Good," said Chrom, snuggling in with her. A prolonged silence followed their kiss before he spoke again. "Robin, I love you." He heart pounded in his chest, wondering if she felt the same way. It was the first time he said those three words. Robin didn't stir in his arms. Chrom glanced at her to gauge her reaction. Her eyes were closed. It appeared that she fell asleep. He sighed. He mistimed it. Chrom felt all the tenseness in his body be replaced by a sinking disappointment.

"I love you too," she whispered back, without stirring.

"You weren't asleep?" he asked, embarrassed and alarmed.

"No, I was just resting my eyes, you dork." She pecked him on the neck.

"I know I'm clumsy and awkward. And I make a lot of mistakes. But Robin…will you stay by my side?" Chrom asked with his face a rosy red.

Robin lifted her head up to face him and rested her forehead on his. She kissed him. "Yes," she answered. "Always."

"I promise to make you happy," he whispered. His heart beat in his chest like a joyous, proud drum. It was blissful having someone he loved so dearly to accept him. His hand found one of her hands. He intertwined his fingers with hers and brought up her hand to plant a kiss on the back of hand. "I love you." He wanted to tell her over and over again.

Robin giggled. "I know. You told me. I love you too."

"Do you want tea? Coffee?" Robin emerged from her room, in the midst of re-securing her hair with the jaw clip. She wore a pair of lounge shorts and a cardigan over her tank top.

"Coffee, please," asked Chrom. "Still trying to get over the jetlag."

"Okay," said Robin. She went into the kitchen. She stuck a hazelnut coffee capsule into her espresso maker and closed the lid. Robin grabbed a cup from her cupboard and placed it under the nozzle. She pressed a couple buttons and let the machine do its job.

"Do you need any help?" Chrom asked from the entrance of the kitchen.

"No," she said. "Go sit down. I can handle this." She wanted, no needed, to minimize interaction with Chrom. An odd feeling churned in her stomach.

"Okay," said Chrom, returning back to the living room.

Robin returned to the living room with two steaming cups in hand. "Here." She placed his coffee in front of him, but not before putting a coaster down.

"Thanks," said Chrom. He smiled when he picked up the dark blue cup. He inhaled the freshly brewed coffee. "It's my cup. And you still remember which coffee I drink."

"Yeah…" Robin sat down in her reading armchair, nodding to herself. She hadn't realized that she selected the dark blue cup Chrom always favoured nor that she picked his go-to coffee flavour. It felt like she was slipping back into their routine. Nervously, she sipped her tea. She would've been drinking coffee with Chrom, but she promised Frederick she'd stop drinking coffee like water, so she was making the effort to drink more tea.

"How have you been?" asked Chrom.

"Fine," said Robin.

Chrom tried again. "How's work?"

"Good," she answered.

"Cool." Chrom nodded slowly. "So, umm…"

"Chrom, what do you want from me?" asked Robin. Her brows were knitted into one another. This was getting more painful by the minute.

"You were the first person I wanted to see after I got back in Ylisse," said Chrom honestly. "But work wouldn't let me, heh. You know how my father is…"

Robin's grip on her cup tightened and she dropped her gaze. "Yeah."

"Frederick, the Executive Director of Marketing, was showing me the ropes of the company. He actually knew you, when I asked about where you worked. Congrats on managing your own design team. He told me that you and your team came up with a lot of great ideas."

"I don't know what you're expecting by coming to see me, Chrom," said Robin. She curled up protectively on her reading chair.

"Did you get any of my calls or my texts?" he asked.

"No," she said in a deadpanned voice. "I had to change my phone number a while back."

"Oh." He laughed nervously and said, "I thought you were avoiding me." Robin frowned at him. She thought it was pretty evident that changing one's number implied that they were avoiding people.

"Well, welcome back, Chrom. But you can't just show up like this anymore. We can't…" Robin thought for a moment. She didn't know how to finish her sentence. "We can't go back to what we used to be. You know that."

Chrom nodded and offered Robin a sad smile. "I do."

Robin pleaded, "Then, let's just pretend we're strangers." She didn't want things to blow up again. She worked too hard for that. And she was finally happy again.

"I can't do that," he said. "I know we can't be what we used to be, but I still have feelings for you."

Anger started to bubble up in Robin. He was being selfish. She had everything to lose if they did this again. She could lose her job. And she could lose Frederick. She really liked Frederick.

"Chrom, please." Robin closed her eyes in frustration. Maybe if she couldn't see him, he would just disappear.

"I know you got really hurt…" said Chrom. He stood up from his seat and squatted down in front of her. "I won't let that happen again. I promise I'll protect you this time."

"Chrom." When Robin finally gathered the courage to look at his face again, she saw his earnestness. She didn't have the strength to deal with this. "You should go home." She got up from her armchair. Robin pulled his arm. Reluctantly, Chrom stood up. She began to push him towards the exit.

"Robin, I still have a lot to talk to you about," said Chrom, trying to dig his heels into the carpet.

"Please leave," asked Robin, a quiver in her voice and both hands planted on his back. She pushed with all her might and he started to inch forward. "Don't come back. Please. We're over."

Chrom swallowed the lump forming in his throat and headed to the door. Robin stopped pushing him once she saw him leaving by his own feet. She returned to the living room and sat down in the couch.

"Robin, I'll make it up to you." Robin squeezed her eyes shut at the sound of his voice calling her. Then to her relief, the door creaked open and then slammed shut.

She burst into tears. She hugged herself, trying to comfort herself. She didn't bother wiping away the tears and let them fall wherever they wanted, staining her cheeks and her tank top.

When she picked her head up, she saw the blue mug with hazelnut coffee still giving off its hot wispy breath. It reminded her sorely of Chrom. His presence still lingered in her life, no matter what she did. She hadn't even realized she kept his cup and still remembered his coffee. She thought she was over him.

And now he was back.

After moping on the couch and blasting depressing pop songs on her phone while singing along with her voice cracking at every high note, Robin came to the rational conclusion that this wasn't healthy. She grabbed her phone and tried to decide who to text. Her thumb hovered over 'Teddy Bear' but she ended up scrolling past the text conversation. She didn't want to worry Frederick. Instead, she opened up the conversation with 'Candyman' and texted Gaius.

3:07 PM He was waiting outside my apartment.
3:07 PM Btw, how are you managing the twins?

Are u talking about Blue? 3:08 PM
Gemini and I are playing H&S 3:09 PM

Robin chuckled. Gaius was probably bored and having a difficult time finding the twins in their game of hide-and-seek. He always did.

Cant find them. Help me out bubbles 3:11 PM

She rolled her eyes. Gaius only excelled at finding candy. He sucked at finding the twins.

3:12 PM Under the sink, behind the curtain in the living room, and in your comp room.

Find one! 3:17 PM
Found the other one 3:23 PM
Thnx 3:23 PM

3:24 PM Np

What did blue want? Do u want me to come pick u up? 3:25 PM

3:25 PM So I can help you babysit again?

U catch on too fast ;) 3:26 PM

3:29 PM Do you need my help?

Nah. Do u need me to go hack Blue's shit? 3:30 PM

I could make porn ads pop up every time he clicks something on his laptop 3:30 PM

Robin burst out laughing and texted him back. Gaius would pull some shit like that.

3:30 PM LOL No. Thanks tho. You shouldn't hack anymore, Gaius

Yes mom 3:31 PM

3:31 PM You're such a good son :P

I promise I'll come home for thanksgiving this year :) 3:32 PM

3:32 PM I'm sure your father will love that.

lol 3:32 PM

don't tell me you were blasting all those awful songs and singing again… 3:35 PM

Robin blushed at the most recently text from Gaius. She pursed lips at it.

3:36 PM Pfft…no. I'm totally over it.

for some reason, I'm having a hard time believing u 3:37 PM
i'll give u the benefit of the doubt 3:37 PM
next time I come over and your neighbours look pissed, I kno u were lying 3:39 PM

3:40 PM I guess I better get rid of my neighbours then, lol

let me know if u need help wit that :P 3:40 PM

3:41 PM kk

Robin felt a bit better after chatting with Gaius. She stretched out her legs and arms. She needed to get back on track. Robin pushed herself off of the couch and headed to the kitchen.

In the kitchen, Robin pulled out an ice tray from the freezer. She held each end of the tray and twisted it. The tray cracked and some of the ice shifted out of its compartments. She placed the tray on the counter and grabbed a plastic zipper bag from her cupboard. The ice chilled her fingers as she gingerly dropped them into the bag. Afterwards, she zipped it closed and took it back to the living room.

Then, Robin realized that she still had makeup on her neck and collarbone area. Groaning, she tossed the homemade ice pack onto the couch and went back to her room to grab a makeup wipe. She remerged from her room wiping down her neck. Robin plopped down on the couch, grabbed the ice pack, and pressed it against the side of her neck.

Robin played with her phone as she iced her hickeys. Since she didn't do this immediately after they were inflicted, she wasn't sure how effective it would be, but she thought it was worth a shot. As she scrolled through her phone, the screen suddenly changed to an incoming call notification.

Candyman
XXX-XXX-XXX

Robin accepted the call and brought the phone up to her ear. "Hello?" she said.

"Hey, so I was a little worried about you. Knowing you, you probably bawled your eyes out while whatever you do with your voice when you try to sing," said Gaius.

"Thanks…" she said sarcastically. "Seriously, I'm okay now."

"Uh-huh," said Gaius. "Gemini! I told you not to touch my video games!"

"Can we play this one?" Robin heard Nathan ask.

"No, that's rated M. There's a lot of boobies in it," said Gaius.

"Ewwwww, boobies," said Nathan.

"Sorry. Gemini are causing problems again," said Gaius.

Robin laughed into the phone. "Yeah, I can hear them."

"I'm going to come over and check in on you," he said.

"You really don't have to," she said.

"Gemini, wanna go to Auntie Robin's house?" Gaius called out to his niece and nephew. There was a resounding 'yes' on the other end of the line.

Robin looked around her living room and saw a lot of things that could be broken. "Gaius, my house isn't really childproof," Robin said with great hesitation.

"Bubbles, neither is mine. And I'm pretty sure you don't have nearly as much expensive electronics in your house," said Gaius. "Okay, coming over with Gemini."

"Do you have booster seats for them? For your car?" Robin asked.

"What's a booster seat?" asked Gaius in utter confusion. "Are you making this shit up?"

"It's a thing you put in the car to ensure the kids are seated safely in the back of the car," said Robin.

"No?" Gaius said slowly.

"Then, I don't recommend coming over," said Robin. She was dodging a bullet here.

"Can't I just let them sit in the back with the seatbelt on?" asked Gaius.

"You'll get fined. You might as well just bring them on your motorcycle then," said Robin. She had to admit that was a bit of an exaggeration.

"Damn it," cussed Gaius. There was a gasp on the other side of the line.

"Uncle said a bad word!" Natalie shrieked.

"Gemini, we can't go to Auntie Robin's. Because you don't have your boosting shots or seats or whatever Robin's talking about," Gaius broke the news to them. Robin heard the twins whining and protesting Gaius's new announcement.

"Good luck with that, sweets," said Robin and quickly hung up.

Maybe Gaius was right. Having some company would lighten her mood. Robin scrolled through her contacts list and stopped at 'Teddy Bear'. She bit her thumb in thought. Maybe she should just spend the day alone and get her thoughts sorted out.

The memory of Chrom's embrace crept into her mind and her face contorted in guilt and anxiety. She shook her head, denying the memory further digging its roots into her mind. She wasn't going to go back to him. That was final. She would just forget this and continue her life like nothing had happened today.

She dialed and listened to the phone ring a couple times against her ear. Frederick picked up the phone. "Hey, Robin. How's babysitting going?"

"I'm home now. I helped Gaius put them to sleep, and then I came home," said Robin.

"Oh, I see," said Frederick.

"Yeah," said Robin.

"What are you doing now?" he asked.

"Icing all the hickeys," Robin grumbled, but she wore a smile. "It's really cold." She heard chuckle on the other end of the line. "How's your day going, bae? Are you working at home again?"

"Perhaps," he said.

"Frederick," Robin said his name in exasperation.

"Yes, love?" Frederick asked.

"Stop working," she demanded. "Take a break."

"I'm almost done looking over the plans that were emailed to me," said Frederick.

"I'm sure they could've waited," said Robin. "Hypocrite."

"And what do you have planned for the rest of the day?" he asked, ignoring her jab.

Robin shifted the ice bag to the other side of her neck. That was a good question. "I…don't know."

"Everything okay?" Frederick asked with a hint of concern in his voice.

"What makes you say that?" Robin tried to perk up her voice a bit. "There's nothing wrong."

"Okay," he said. The tone of his voice indicated that he didn't really believe her. "You usually have a detailed, packed schedule for the weekends, involving dragging me around while strategically avoiding our colleagues."

"Yeah," she said quietly. She pressed the ice bag against her collar bone this time.

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" asked Frederick.

"Nothing's wrong." Robin fell silent. Maybe the whole thing with seeing Chrom again did get to her. Her eyes fell to the blue cup that was still sitting on the coffee table. It had cooled now, but it still reflected its dark contents at her. "Can you come over?" Her voice cracked. Damn. She wasn't okay.

"Yeah, of course," said Frederick.

"Thanks, bae," said Robin.

"Do you want me to stay on the phone until I get there?" he asked. She heard him already shuffling about on his end of the line—most likely getting ready to leave.

"No, it's fine. I can make us dinner, if you want," she said.

"Yeah, that'd be nice. I'll help," said Frederick. "I'm heading over right now."

"Thanks, Frederick," she said.

"Anytime, love," he said.

"Do you need me to let you in?" she asked.

"If I can't tail someone in, I'll let you know," answered Frederick.

There was a knock on the door. When she opened the door, she saw an ever so slightly disheveled Frederick. He looked like he had sprinted up all the stairs. He had even forgotten to leave his reading glasses at home.

Robin's eyes were wide in surprise as he tried to catch his breath. "Hey," said Robin. "I'm guessing someone let you in the front door."

Frederick invited himself inside and closed the door behind him. He placed his hands on her shoulders and studied intently at her, trying to find some gaping wound on her body. Robin felt uncomfortable in his intense gaze.

"Is everything alright?" he asked. "I started to get really worried on my drive here."

"I'm fine." Robin hugged him. "I'm fine now." She wanted to forget Chrom's embrace. She wanted to forget how right it felt, like the old days. She wanted Frederick to help her forget.

Frederick let out a heavy breath. He wrapped his arms protectively around her. "Okay. You had me worried there."

"Sorry," she murmured.

"It's okay," he said.

"By the way." Robin looked up at him.

"Hmm?" Frederick loosened his embrace around her.

"I'm keeping your sweater." She smiled. "It's the comfiest thing I've ever worn."

He smiled back fondly at Robin. "Keep it. It's yours. You looked good in it."

Robin felt a lot at ease now that Frederick was here. She grabbed his hand and pulled him into the house. He quickly slipped of his shoes and followed her in. Her fingers fit perfectly in between the spaces of his fingers.

"Where'd you park the car?" she asked curiously.

"A couple blocks from here," said Frederick.

Robin led him into the living room and plopped down. He sat down beside her and she cuddled up beside him. His eyes wandered to the two cups still sitting on the coffee table.

"You sure everything's okay, Robin?" Frederick planted a kiss on the crown of her head.

"Yeah," said Robin. "I just missed you a lot."

Frederick chuckled at her. "We spent all of last night and today morning together."

"It's not very long, if you think about it," said Robin, further snuggling into him.

"Fair enough. Did you have a friend over?" Frederick asked.

Robin tensed and the blood drained from her face. Her mouth went dry, robbing her of the ability to speak.

"Robin?" Frederick called her name.

"Umm…what makes you say that?" asked Robin.

"There are two cups on the coffee table," said Frederick. He gestured to the cups.

"Oh, I was being a slob and I didn't clean it up from earlier this week," said Robin. She got up from the couch and grabbed the two cups. "Be right back. Better clean it up now before I get lazy again."

"I'll be here," said Frederick.

Robin walked into the kitchen to the sink. She dumped the contents of both cups out and placed them into the sink. She leaned on the edge and dropped her head. She wondered if she was doing the right thing by not mentioning anything to Frederick.